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6135 Winchester RoadIrvine, Kentucky 40336-8517
Phone (606) 723-5012Email: <[email protected]>
Published on Wednesdays byTracy Randall Patrick
Delores L. Rowland, EditorSubscription Prices
Estill $17, Adj. Counties $28, Elsewhere $32Periodicals Postage Paid, Irvine, KY 40336
(Permit #685-890)POSTMASTER: Send address changes to:The Estill Co. Tribune, 6135 Winchester Rd.
Irvine, Kentucky 40336-8517
Our 38th Year Serving Estill County!
Member of Kentucky Press Association
<EstillTribune.Com>
Page 4, The Estill County Tribune, Wednesday, April 29, 2020
Bad Day At The Tables Bambiishavingabaddayontheroulettetable.Downtoherlast$100,completelyexasperated,shecries,“Whatrottenluck!WhatintheworldshouldIdonow?” “Whydon’tyouplayyourage?”saysMitzi,asshewalksawaytoplaytheslots.AfewminuteslaterMitzihearsagreatcommotionatthetable.Think-ingBambimayhavewonbig,shewalksbackoverto find Bambi lying limp on the floor. “What hap-pened?”asksMitzi.“Isshealright?” “Idon’tknow,”saysthetableoperator.“Sheputallhermoneyon29...then36cameupandshehitthe floor!”
Lawyer - Good News and Bad News “I have some good news and some bad news.” “Well, give me the bad news first.” “The DNA tests showed that it was your blood they found all over the crime scene.” “Ohno!I’mruined!What’sthegoodnews?” “Your cholesterol is down to 130!”
Annual Checkup PaishavinghisannualcheckupwhenDocaskshim,“Pa,how’syoursexlifethesedays?” “Oh,youknow,”repliesPa.“TheSocialSecuritykind.” “SocialSecurity?”asksDoc,“Whatdoyoumeanbythat?” “Yougetalittleeachmonth,butbarelyenoughtogetby.”
Wrong Impression Apatientawakensafteraseriousoperationonlyto find herself in a room with all the blinds drawn. “Whyarealltheblindsclosed?”sheasksherdoctor. “Well,” the surgeon responds, “They’re fighting a huge fire across the street, and we didn’t want youtowakeupandthinktheoperationhadfailed.”
Big Feet AwomangoesintoabarinTexasandseesacowboywithhisfeetproppeduponatable.Hehasonthelargestbootsshe’severseen.Thewomanasksthecowboyifit’struewhattheysayaboutmenwithbigfeet.Thecowboyjustgrins.Thetwoendupspendingthenighttogether.Thenextmorningshegetsuptoleaveandhandshima$100bill. “Thankyouma’am,”hesays“Ain’tnobodyeverpaidmeformyservicesbefore.” “Don’t flatter yourself, “the woman replies. “Take the money and buy yourself some boots that fit.”
Paying Taxes MaandPadriveovertoLexingtontotheIRSof-fice to discuss some unpaid taxes for 2017. Theagenttellsthem,“WehereattheIRSfeelitisagreatprivilegetobeallowedtoliveandworkintheUSA.Asacitizenyouhaveanobligationtopaytaxes,andweexpectyoutoeagerlypaythemwithasmile.” “Well,that’sarelief,”saysMa,smilingtowardPa.“Wethoughtweweregoingtohavetopaycash!”
Cheap Anniversary Present SlimstopsbythecosmeticsstoretopickupagiftforMaybellefortheiranniversary.Theclerkstarts off showing him a bottle of perfume costing $50,butSlimkeepsaskingforsomethingcheaper.She shows him a $30 bottle; then finally she pulls outareallytiny$15bottle. “No,I’dliketoseesomethingreallycheap.” Aggravated, the clerk points to his reflection in a mirror,“That’sthecheapestthinginthisstore.”
Secret To Old Age FormerFirstLadyMichelleObamaistakingadriveinruralVirginiawhenshenoticesalittleoldmansittinginachaironhisporch.Shehasherdriverpulloverandshewalksovertothemansay-ing,“I’manadvocateforahealthylifestyle,andIcouldn’thelpbutnoticehowhappyyoulook,”shesays.“What’syoursecretforalong,happylife?” “Ismokethreepacksaday,drinkacaseofbeer,eatfattyfoods,andnever,everexercise,”hereplies. “Wow,that’samazing,”shesays,“Howoldareyou?”“Twenty-six.”
Owlhead’s GrocerySouth Irvine * 723-7473
Pet & Livestock FeedCorn . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .50 Lbs .Cracked Corn . . . . . . . .50 Lbs .Horse Feed . . . . . . . . . .50 Lbs .Rabbit Pellets . . . . . . . .50 Lbs .40% Hog Supplement .50 Lbs .Pig & Show 18% . . . . .50 Lbs .Starter & Grower . . . . .25 Lbs .Starter & Grower . . . . .25 Lbs .Layer Pellets . . . . . . . . .50 Lbs .Dog Food . . . . . . . . . . . .50 Lbs .Mineral Block . . . . . . . .50 Lbs .Salt Block . . . . . . . . . . .50 Lbs .Fly Block . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Trace Mineral Salt . . . .50 Lbs .Pebble Lime . . . . . . . . .50 Lbs .Pride Dog Food . . . . . .50 Lbs .Dry Molasses . . . . . . . .50 Lbs .We Have Garden Supplies!!
Stop by Owlhead’s foronion sets, seed potatoes and all gardening needs!
Owlhead’s GrocerySouth Irvine * Phone 723-7473Donald & Katherine Dixon, Owners
We’re open until 10:00 p.m.
We Sell
Feeds by Producer
Stickeler’s Answer on Page 11
Stickeler’s Puzzle
Community NewsMail announcements to The Estill Tribune,6135 Winchester Road, Irvine, KY 40336
Call (606) 723-5012; Fax to (606) 723-2743;or E-mail it to <News@EstillTribune .Com>
Gift of Rewards Everybodylovesrewards--especiallyathletes,actorsandactresses,racecardrivers,lotterywin-ners,writers,students,runners,children,inven-tors,songwriters,teachers,investors,astronauts,singers,parents,employees,businesses,etc. In general, rewards range anywhere fromasmileand/orawordofpraisetohugesumsofmoneyandworldwiderecognition.Thesubjectofrewardshasproducedover42millionsitesontheinternet.Rewardsareusedtoprovidemotiva-tion,moraleboosting,andrecognition.Theyareasourceofgreatencouragementfortheproductionof excellent works in a variety of fields. AgreatsourceforthestudyofrewardsistheHolyBible.BoththeOldandNewTestamentsex-hibittheimportanceofgoodandproperbehaviorthatpleasesGod.Andrewardsofvariouskindsandsizesarepromisedasaresultofthisbehavior.So,theultimatesourceandproviderofrewardsisGod.Jesusexplainedhowtheuseofourtime,talents,energy,moneyandpossessionswouldresultinre-wardsifusedinhelpingtobuildHisKingdom.TherewardswouldbeavailablebothhereonEarthatthepresenttimeandalsointheeternalparadisethatwaitsforthosewillingtofollowthewaysoftheLord.JesusurgedustoplanfortreasuresinHeav-enwheretheycouldneverbestolenordestroyed.Thatadvicewastohelpusfocusontheultimatere-wardsthatwilllastforalleternity.Eternallifeitselfisanincrediblereward!TheadditionalrewardsledtheApostlePaultosaythatwecan’timaginewhatwaitsforus.ThankyouJesusforrewards!
Price J. Rawlins
Annual Dinner Canceled
No ECH&GS Dinner at Aldersgate The Estill County His-torical and GenealogicalSocietywillnotholdtheirannual dinner at Alders-gate.Ifyouhavepaid,you
willberefunded. TheHistoricalMuseumonBroadwaywill remainclosed until Covid-19 re-strictionsarelifted.
Each Tuesday
Estill UK Extension Newsletter The first edition of UKCooperative Extension’sHealthy at Home is here:https://extension.ca.uky.edu/healthy-home-newsletter. Each Tuesday we will
shareanewnewsletterwithyouthatwillfeaturearticlesfromallExtensionprogramareas.Pleasesharethislinkwithothers. Enjoyandstaysafe!
No event on June 12th
Estill Relay for Life Canceled TheEstillCountyRelayforLifeCommitteehasde-cidedtocancelourcountyeventwhichwasscheduledforFriday,June12,2020
at theECHStrackdue toCOVID-19. Wewantev-eryone to stay safe andhealthy,andwe’llseeyounextyear.
“Ms. Jones, my official title is ‘Chief Administrator of Neighborhood Coordination -- not ‘The Block Head’.”
