Writing Clear Sentences

E. Siler

The Goal

• To write clear sentences using your own words and grammar.

• To write sentences that will not in any way be confusing to readers.

Remember

• Clear writing is a process result of good editing.

• Write something first --- then edit.

• It is generally best NOT to try to edit as you go.

Sample 1

• This bibliography provides 10 newspaper resources from the New York Timesl, and the Times of India, on the subject of both governments’ claim are based on the fact the Diaoyu (Senkaku) Island located on their sea area for centuries.

Step 1

• Locate each verb phrase. UNDERLINE each verb phrase so you can see it clearly.

Step 1 Example

• This bibliography provides 10 newspaper resources from the New York Timesl, and the Times of India, on the subject of both governments’ claim are based on the fact the Diaoyu (Senkaku) Island located on their sea area for centuries.

Step 2

• Locate what you think is the subject of each verb phrase. Put it in bold. Open the sentence up in a list so you can see the parts.

Step 2 Example

• This bibliography provides 10 newspaper resources from the New York Timesl, and the Times of India, on the subject of

• both governments’ claim are based on the fact

• the Diaoyu (Senkaku) Island located on their sea area for centuries.

Result

• The result of steps 1 and 2 is a list of clauses.

• A clause is a complete verb phrase with a subject attached to it.

Step 3a

• Check the connections between clauses.

• There are many different ways connections happen in English, but this is the point at which most errors occur.

• Do not take this step lightly.

• Plan on using the dictionary (http://www.ldoceonline.com) a lot to check for different connection issues.

Major Connection Problem #1

• RULE: Every complete verb phrase in an English clause must have a subject that is unique.

• The subject of the verb phrase in an English clause is unique.

• It can only be the subject of the verb phrase.

• It cannot be the object of a preposition.

• It cannot be the object of a verb in some other clause.

3 clauses; 2 connection points

• This bibliography provides 10 newspaper resources from the New York Timesl, and the Times of India, on the subject of CONNECTION 1

• both governments’ claim are based on the fact CONNECTION 2

• the Diaoyu (Senkaku) Island located on their sea area for centuries.

Results

• There is no connection problem with Connection 2 (the fact + clause). However, there is a problem with connection 1: “Both governments’ claim” cannot be the subject of “are based” and the object of “of.”

• This bibliography provides 10 newspaper resources from the New York Times, and the Times of India, on the subject of CONNECTION 1

• both governments’ claim are based on the fact CONNECTION 2

Step 3b

• Fix connection problems. In the case where a subject is doing double-duty as the object of a preposition and a subject, the best strategy is to create two clauses, each its own sentence.

Step 3b Example

• This bibliography provides 10 newspaper resources from the New York Times and the Times of India.

• Both governments’ claim are based on the fact the Diaoyu (Senkaku) Island located on their sea area for centuries.

Repeating Step 3b

• Sometimes when there are many clause connections, there are many connection problems.

• In this case, you will have to repeat Step 3b until all the connections are fixed.

Step 4

• Check for basic problems with the verb phrases. The most common are:

• form

• s-v agreement

• tense

• problems in formation of the passive

Results

• Results are marked in red:

• This bibliography provides 10 newspaper resources from the New York Timesl, and the Times of India.

• Both governments’ claim are based on the fact the Diaoyu (Senkaku) Island located on their sea area for centuries.

Step 5

• Fix the problems found in Step 4.

• Both governments’ claim are based < s-v agreement.

• Both governments’ claims are based . . .

• on the fact the Diaoyu (Senkaku) Island located< form and tense problem on their sea area for centuries.

• on the fact the Diaoyu (Senkaku) Islands have been located on their sea area for centuries.

The Final Result

• This bibliography provides 10 newspaper resources from the New York Times, and the Times of India.

• Both governments’ claims are based on the fact the Diaoyu (Senkaku) Islands have been located on their sea area for centuries.

Sample 2

• This new report describes how economists and Russia-watchers have different views that Russia’s accession to the WTO will be affect the level of popular support for the government and the economy.

•

Step 1

• This new report describes how economists and Russia-watchers have different views that Russia’s accession to the WTO will be affectthe level of popular support for the government and the economy.

Step 2

• This new report describes how

• economists and Russia-watchers have different views that

• Russia’s accession to the WTO will be affect the level of popular support for the government and the economy.

Step 3a

• This new report describes how CONNECTION 1

•

• economists and Russia-watchers havedifferent views that CONNECTION 2

• Russia’s accession to the WTO will be affectthe level of popular support for the government and the economy.

Results

• Connection 1 is fine (how + clause). Connection 2 has a problem.

• The connection is “view” + that, but if you look in the dictionary, you’ll see that when we modify “view” we usually use a preposition structure, not a clause structure!

• Look carefully at the definition of “view” given here:

• http://www.ldoceonline.com/dictionary/view_1

View 1

• View + that + clause = description of an opinion.

• Ex: I am of the view that abortion is wrong in most cases. (the opinion is described)

• View + about/on + noun phrase = name of the topic about which one has an opinion.

• Ex: His view on abortion is different than hers. (the subject about which there is an opinion is named).

View 2

• Since the opinions are not described --- but simply named --- “about/on” should be used.

• This new report describes how economists and Russia-watchers have different views about Russia’s accession to the WTO will be affect the level of popular support for the government and the economy.

View 3

• Because we have added a preposition we now must change the clause after the preposition.

• Rule: If you put a clause after a preposition, use ONLY the main verb of the verb phrase in the clause and put it in the –ingform.

• The “main verb” is the one on the farthest right side of the verb phrase.

View 4

• Russia’s accession to the WTO will be affect the level of popular support for the government and the economy.

• Will be affect = affect is the main verb.

• This new report describes how economists and Russia-watchers have different views about Russia’s accession to the WTO affecting the level of popular support for the government and the economy.

Step 4

• Everything is fine!

The Final Result

• This new report describes how economists and Russia-watchers have different views about Russia’s accession to the WTO affecting the level of popular support for the government and the economy.

Sample 3

• This article describes how political experts in China like the new leadership and analyze the change will be in China’s society after Xi Jinping took the office.

Step 1

• This article describes how political experts in China like the new leadership and analyze the change will be in China’s society after Xi Jinping took the office.

Step 2

• This article describes how CONNECTION 1

• political experts in China like the new leadership and CONNECTION 2

• (political experts in China ) analyze the change CONNECTION 3

• the change will be in China’s society after CONNECTION 4

• Xi Jinping took the office.

Step 3a

• This student has violated the rule that the subject of a verb phrase in one clause cannot also be the object of the verb phrase in another clause!

• political experts in China ) analyze the change < (object of analyze)

• (subject of will be >) the change will be in China’s society

• REMINDER: EACH VERB PHRASE IN A CLAUSE MUST HAVE ITS OWN UNIQUE SUBJECT.

Step 3b

• Correct this situation by putting in a word such as “that.”

• (political experts in China ) analyze the change that will be in China’s society after. . .

Step 4

• There are problems with Tense.

• Xi Jinping took office 1 year ago. This article was written shortly afterwards. Today, one year later a student is reading the article. Some of this is HISTORY now and needs to be in the past tense!

Step 5

• This article describes how political experts in China liked the new leadership and analyzedthe change that would be in China’s society after Xi Jinping took the office.

The Final Result

• This article describes how political experts in China liked the new leadership and analyzed the change that would be in China’s society after Xi Jinping took the office.