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Special Bumper MAY (AN) Issue
Last opportunity to enjoy CADS Lunch before world ends.
END OF THE WORLD CADS LUNCH MENU
Acultivated digression from the politics of theoffice,a sunny
terrace in the crude storm of theeveryday, if the Mayans are right
this may well be
your last opportunity to enjoy the sublime culinary
pleasures of our monthly CADS lunch. Book now toavoid
disappointment.
SPECIAL END OF WORLD SPEAKER
The special end-of-the-word guest speaker is Wout
van der Toorn OBE, who will be talking about his
new book, The Logbook of The Low Countries.
Come along and enjoy your last meal before you are
boiled in brine and brimstone and taken to meet the
big guy upstairs.
MAY(AN) AIR INTRODUCE DIRECT FLIGHTS TO END OF
WORLD. Special one-way deals have been arranged for CADS
members and their guests. Enjoy the flight of your life as
you
witness the end of the world from the comfor t of your
cramped
MAY(AN) AIR seat.
Learning a second language and speaking it regu-
larly can improve your cognitive skills and delay
the onset of dementia, according to researchers
who compared bilingual individuals with people
who spoke only one language. Which is good news
for fans of Nick Cleggs brain. He speaks DUTCH
TO HIS SPANISH WIFE, RUSSIAN TO HIS GER-
MAN SPIN DOCTOR AND INDONESIAN TO HIS
YORKSHIRE CONSTITUENTS.
CLEGGS BRAIN
HOLDS SECRET TO
DEMENTIA
AND ON A HAPPIER NOTE:The man who stole all
the world 's money is sorry for the inconvenience
caused and promises not to do it again.
When
world ends
dont stand
next to a
fan
STOP PRESS: DISNEY WORLD ATHENS TO OPEN WORLDS MOST SCARIEST
RIDE: THE EURO SLIDE
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STOP PRESS: DISNEY WORLDATHENS TO OPEN WORLDS
MOST SCARIEST RIDE:
THE EURO
SLIDE
The freefall acceleration is mindumbing
and affects people in different ways say
the architects.
It really depends which European
country you are from. Swiss and UK
residents are the least scared, while the
Greeks, Italians and Spanish definitely
need sick bags
OTHER NEWS:
IT'S OFFICIAL. YOU CAN SWEAR AT
DUTCH POLICEMEN.
Is it okay to call a policeman an ant-
f******? The high court says. A homeless
man has been cleared by the High Court of
insulting a police officer by calling him a
mierenneuker - literally ant-fucker - a term
used in popular speech to describe people
who stick obsessively to the rules.
Plane lands at Schiphol's runway five and
takes one week to travel to gate.
PASSENGERS TAKE TWO YEARS TO WALK
FROM GATE TO PASSPORT CONTROL.
Schiphol Airport passengers take two
years to walk from gate D6004 to passport
control. Passport checks take one week,
then luggage takes further month to appear
on carousal.
"At least the toilets were clean," says
passenger.
RIDE TO BE OPENED
BY EX-CHANCELLOR
NORMAN LAMONT
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Chairm
ans
CornerMAY(AN) Issue 2012
Air Commodore Chris Lorraine
Air Commodore Chris Lorraine gave us a very entertaining
talk
which in a very short time covered subjects including piano
de-
struction and debagging (ask Alistair!), running the Dutch
military
aviation airspace organisation, and flying the one remaining
Dutch
RAF Spitfire.
The pants about taking off and landing a Spitfire
Amongst other points, we learned that taking off requires pilots
to
have 3, and preferably 4 hands, in order to hold onto the
control
stick (1) whilst getting the wheels up (1), and closing the
canopy
(2). Landing requires the pilot to have a third eye located 2
metres
above the canopy roof to see what is in front of the plane,
and
some sensitivity in the seat of the pants to avoid the rear of
the
plane overtaking the front whilst braking. Failure to manage
this
successfully invariably results in the plane stopping with its
pro-
pellor buried in the ground, at which point the seat of the
pants
changes colour.
Patriotically
Sue Bennion won a bottle of Beefeater London gin as she was
deemed the most patriotically dressed, the reason for this
being
that we were celebrating St George, the patron saint of
England.
WATERS
The CADS Jubilee
Ball raised 555 Euros
Last weekend we had a most
enjoyable Diamond Jubilee ball.
We had a lot of fun, and raised
555 Euros in the raffle, which
will be split between StichtingJarige Job and The Lymphoma
Association. We danced until
midnight to the sultry sounds
of Jazzterix, and their female
vocalist, with the new CADS
dance floor (dont ask) at times
completely full
Disneys new Euro Slide
In the wider world the Euro
continues its slow slide,
dragged down by Europes col-
lective ability to throw good
money after bad to countries
addicted to debt and in more
than one case openly advocat-
ing they have no intention to
repay what they are loaned
(but can we have another100bn next month).
As Paul Claudel said after
Hitler annexed the Sudeten-
land In the short space of
time that remains to us
after the crisis and before
the catastrophe, let us drink
a glass of champagne.
The Battle of Britain,the sight and sound of the
worlds favourite fighter performing aerobatics,
and new insights into the challenges of flying the
Spitfire These were the benefits accruing to
members who attended the April lunch.
St George and the CADS Lunch
St George was Syrian by birth, with a Turk-
ish father and a wealthy Palestinian mother,
and it is unlikely he ever visited England.
The perfect choice for a patron saint! He is
also patron saint of Georgia, Egypt, Bulgaria,
Aragon, Catalonia, Romania, Ethiopia, Greece,
India, Iraq, Lithuania, Palestine, Portugal,
Serbia, Ukraine and Russia. He never slew a
dragon, but was a successful officer in the
Roman army; there he professed his Chris-
tian faith for which he was martyred by Em-
peror Diocletian on the 23rd April 303, allow-
ing us to celebrate his demise every April.
The Logbook of The Low Countries.
Next Friday Wout van der Toorn OBE will
come to the lunch to tell us all about his new
book, The Logbook of The Low Countries.
Come along and enjoy an excellent lunch, and
the opportunity to learn more about the past
history between the Dutch and the British(and others).
Well, we are not yet at that juncture, but
we must work harder to real ise a just and
sustainable future for ourselves and our
childrensee you next Friday!
