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non compus mentis

FEB 2012C DS REPORT

 C A D S  B log   Boa t ( T he  C

 L O G ) ca u g  h t  i n  t he 

a rc t ic  ice o n a  rece n t  r

esea rc h e x ped i t io n 

 to  t he  f ro ze n  was t

es o f  A ms te rda m. 

All CADScre w  me m

 be rs a  nd sc ie n t is ts al bar to

“I cannot imagine

the ordeal suffered by those brave CADS

reporters”

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e North Pole holidays in  Amsterdam

Hypnotized by the iceI was told not once, not twice

You’re out of your head You’ll end up dead 

For the first time in 15 years

I put away all my fearsAnd stepped gleefully unhinged Even though something deep inside me cringed 

On to the frozen BrouwersgrachtMy common sense sacked 

What happens if I fall though?CRACK. PANIC. RELAX. PHEW!

I waddle out like a constipated penguinI dream of walking all the way to Breukelen

But I get about 100 yardsThen my toes fall off and break into shards

It’s colder than a polar bear after a Brazilian waxThen I hear the distant cracks

Louder and closer rumble the herd of stampeding skatersHands behind their backs, eyes colder than an alligator’s

They seem to glide though meLike a warm whisky

Like a pack of huskies towing a fond memory

I remember it now like it was 15 years agoWith a single malt in hand and a gangrenous toe

Too cold to drink, too frozen to careEven though I was about to eaten by a polar bear

It was the North Pole on holiday in AmsterdamAnd a Dutchman skating on the canal, with a pram

The Netherlanders have ice in their DNAIf they could, they would, skate all night, and day.

by John C. Richardson

CRACK! PANIC! RELAX! PHEW!

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Residents of Amsterdam dusted off 

their ice skates after the cold snap

gripping Europe froze the city's ca-

nals.

Is now the moment when The Sun brand begins to set?

Four Sun journalists, plus an allegedly  bent copper, arrested in investigationinto police bribery. Is this the momentthat the SUN sinks behind its cor-rupted horizon? Or a shrewd way of making the red faced SUN now whiter

than white? It has certainly cauterized its existing  brand damage thanks to the “fearless” probing of its so-

called Management and Standards Committee. The role of the former Sun editor Rebekah Brooks is expected to comeunder fresh scrutiny and more blood is expected to flow.

US ambassador's wife's jewellery worth £6 million recovered

Jewellry worth £6 million, reported stolen by the wife of a former American ambassador, has turned up after five

 years in the home of a Dutch hotel maid who mistook thegems for costume jewellery.

How the internet is changing language

TMI (Too Much Information) and WTF (you may wish tolook that one up for yourself) are now in the OED. WhileOMG (Oh My God) has yet to be included in the quarterly 

dictionary updates. TTFN. (ta ta for now...from the 1940sradio series ITMA —It's That Man Again)

More than 1 million drivers over 80

There have been calls for older frail motorists to be bannedfrom motorways, while still being allowed to drive on theirlocal roads.

George Osborne accuses BBC of fuelling anti-business culture inBritain

The Chancellor compared the broadcaster to the women who used to gather to watch the execution of aristocrats

during the FrenchRevolution. “The BBCis often in the frontrow of the tumbrils,doing its knit-ting…We have got tocelebrate business inthis country.”

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Big freeze turns Amsterdam's canals into impromptu ice rink

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CADS 40th Jubilee website is global hitObscure royals, bored housewives, and nosey web touristshave been flocking from around the world to read the new CADS 40th Jubilee website. Little wonder if you considerthe extraordinary range of literary twaddle available.

Highlights include:

CADS sponsors Sport Relief Amsterdam Olympic MilePosted by Mike in CADS Blog, Dutch News, Events Blog, UKnews.

Joke of the day – the sermonPosted by John Richardson in CADS Blog, Joke of the day.

CADS donates 1,000 Euros to Hounds For  HeroesPosted by Mike in CADS Blog, Events Blog, UK news.

Cultural Events at The John Adams InstitutePosted by louiseh95 in Events Blog.

Events 2012List of unmissable CADS Jubilee events.

CADvertisingChance to promote your good work.

PhotosIf you don’t have a good memory then this photographictrip down the CADS memory lane is a must.

CADS Blog(Clog)Private, secret, and classified blog nonsense about the stateof the UK and the Netherlands from anonymous news.sources.

Next CADS lunch

 A countdown to your next CADS lunch at the Wyndham.

Charities A list of charitable causes that CADS sponsor.

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Highlights from http://CADSnewletter.wordpress.com

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