CADS Report April 2013v2

7/28/2019 CADS Report April 2013v2

1/5

Dutch and UK news oddities from both sides of our cod-less pond

APRIL ISSUE 2013

CADS REPORT

Non compos mentis

Beatles fan accidentally nukes Liverpool

They ruv me

yeah? yeah!h?


2/5

1

Oddly Enough Anglo Dutch News

New orange mould named inhonour of Dutch royals

THE HAGUE -- In an inspired moment of Dutch royal

fervor,Scientists have nameda newly discovered species

of orange mould after King Willem-Alexander and his wife

and children.

One mould is calledpenicillium vanoranjei and one P.maximae. The other

three are named P. amaliae, P. alexiae and P. arianeae after the couplesthree young daughters. Scientists have not yet worked out whether the

new moulds will serve any useful medical purpose.

Removing large, dead ocean mammals can bea whale of a problem.

Huff Post Weird newsThe animal's immense size means it

has to be cut up into smaller chunks, and that's when the

dangers of the whale exploding are most likely.

Not only are the creatures huge and heavy, but they con-

tain all sorts of toxic gases: Methane, which is basically

farts; hydrogen sulphide, which is rotten eggs; and ammo-

nia, which smells like cat pee.

Rumours that Exploding Whale will be onthe menu for Fridays lunch are sadly false.

Cat pee, rotten eggs andfarts

Composer withdraws Song forthe King after storm of criticism

Dutch News 'Horribly pretentious' and a Enough to

make the new King move to Argentina the song, which

was to be sung at Willem-Alexanders investiture, has,like the 150,000 balloons, been royally rejected.

Composer John Ewbank, who said he has had

absolutely enough criticism saw his creation

lambasted on twitter for its trite lyrics and style, which

included a rap based on the W from Willem.

The text was written by a group of Dutch celebrities

'inspired by' text sent in by the public.

Dead whalesexploding onDutch beaches

Thar she blows


3/5

2

Oddly Enough Global News

Kim Jong-il ate hippos,snakes and spiders washeddown with Bordeaux wine.

Jiroemon Kimura was born April

19, 1897, which as you all know

was the year the pencil sharp-

ener was patented. Kimura was

joined on his birthday by his 14

grandchildren, 25 great-grandchildren and 13 great-great

grandchildren.

Kimura attributes his long-life to

eating lightly he rarely finishes

a meal and drinks alcohol only in

moderation.

Which is why he recommends

that we all go to CADS lunch.

Chef Kenji Fujimoto, who fled the country in

2001, said DJong-il, who died in 2011, also

banned his family from wearing perfume or

aftershave because he hated the smell.

Oldest person in theUniverse (older than Mike

Hayes jokes) celebrates

116th Birthday

Margaret Thatcher born on Friday 13th:

Mr Fujimoto also revealed that son Kim Jong-un loves The

Beatles and dreams of looking like Hollywood muscleman Jean-ClaudeDamme. "He started buying fitness equipment and taking proteinsupplements.

Also:

She was nicknamed Thatcher the milk snatcher after getting rid of free

milk in schools.

She was the first Oxford-educated prime minister since the war to be

denied an honorary degree, the university voting against awarding one in

protest at her cuts to higher education.

She only slept four hours a night.

She once described her handbag as the only safe place in Downing Street.

Telstar by The Tornados was one of her favourite pop songs.

She got a degree in Chemistry, helping invent soft scoop ice cream.

Police officer bitten by a FLEA is paid 8,000 incompensation by cash-strapped force

The flea bite was among 900,000 worth of payouts made by just

one police force to settle claims over the last three yearsShocking figures show the flea bite was among 900,000 worth of payouts

made by one cash-strapped police force to settle claims over the last three

years.West Midlands Police was sued by 51 serving officers and 16 civilian

staff for a range of bizarre workplace injuries:

600 after being exposed to a loud noise.

7,000 for falling off a chair.

14,000 after a fall from a pushbike.

Curb your enthusiasm:WPC kelly Jones is suing a garage owner af ter she

tripped on a kerb.

Ray Egan, who retired from the force in 1993, said: If Id gone to my bosses

and said Ive been bitten by a flea...Youd get a boot up your bum andtold to get back out on the streets.


4/5

3

Summer of Cricket

Holland vs South AfricaDutch XI vs South Africa ODI@VRA Cricket ground (ABN AMRO

International Cricket Centre)

Friday May 23,2013, 11am to 7pm

Cricket Netherlands (KNCB) is delighted to announce

that following negotiations withCricket South Africa(CSA) the South African Castle Lager ODI squad will betouring the Netherlands in May in preparation for the

2013 ICC Champions Trophy to be played in England

and Wales during June.

We are looking forward to having some of the

household names of world cricket on our doorstep

and will be announcing hospitality and ticketing

details shortly.

TICKETS AVAILABLEFrom Tuesday, March 5Online tickets:

http://www.kncb.nl/index.php?option=com_k2&view=ite

m&layout=item&id=2498&Itemid=512

Admission for children under 14 is free for all matches.

PRE SALE 25 AT THE GATE 30

Lets march over there after CADS lunch
http://www.kncb.nl/index.php?option=com_k2&view=item&layout=item&id=2498&Itemid=512http://www.kncb.nl/index.php?option=com_k2&view=item&layout=item&id=2498&Itemid=512http://www.kncb.nl/index.php?option=com_k2&view=item&layout=item&id=2498&Itemid=512http://www.kncb.nl/index.php?option=com_k2&view=item&layout=item&id=2498&Itemid=512http://www.kncb.nl/index.php?option=com_k2&view=item&layout=item&id=2498&Itemid=512http://www.kncb.nl/index.php?option=com_k2&view=item&layout=item&id=2498&Itemid=512


5/54

b

Chairm

ans

CornerApril Issue 2013

WATERSAfter last months introduction to

Scottish whisky from WullieMacMorland, our holiday in Egypt and

organising Mike Carns reception at theAmbassadors Residence, I was looking

forward to a respite before writing theChairmans Corner this month.

It was not to be. Sue Bennions husbandrang me last week with the news that Suewas in hospital. She had not been feeling

well for a while, and needed some testsdone. This was followed early this week

by the devastating news that she has

inoperable cancer of the liverand pancreas. I know that all our thoughtsand prayers will be with both of them at

this time, and they are taking it one day ata time. For those who know Sue and Peter

personally, do send them supportive notes.Sue prefers not to receive visitors at the

hospital at the moment, and she hasnowhere to put f lowers except behind her

head! Notes and cards are her preferred

method of communications, and Peter isthere with her every day.

MIKE

LordAlmelos

Embassy

BashThere are still a couple of

places available for the 7th

May evening reception; please

let me know if you plan to

attend.

Invites will be sent to

registered guests at the end of

the month.

And of course it is St Georges

Day next week. No special

actions, although English

patriotic dress is welcomed to

celebrate our patron saint day.

TO ROB BANK.

CADS lunch with Sir Christopher Greenwood

At our lunch next Friday we will be addressed by Sir Christopher Greenwood. Judge

Greenwood is the British representative at the ICJ, and I am looking forward to hearing from

him about the organisation and what it is like to be one of the judges. Please let myself or Allan

know if you will attend.

Documents

CADS Report April 2013v2