New Cads Report Sept 2011

8/3/2019 New Cads Report Sept 2011

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CADS Report publishes private, secret, and classified nonsense about the state of the UK from anonymous news sources.

CADS REPORTSeptember 2011

UBS $2.5 billion rogue tradesuspect was good tenant,but not tidy."HE LIVED HERE FOR ABOUT

2-1/2 YEARS. HE WAS A VERY,VERY NICE GUY, BUT...

LONDON

Rogue trader Kweku Adoboli arrested in

connection with a US$2 billion loss at Swiss

bank UBS lived until recently in a 1,000

pound per week apartment, once a Jewish

soup kitchen, in London's East End.

"He lived here for about 2-1/2 years. Hewas a very, very nice guy. I have not got a bad

word to say about him. He was not the tidiest

person but he was a good tenant, although he

fell behind a couple of times on the rent, said

his landlord.

PIGEON POST

Issue No: Four http://cads-amsterdam.org/

FORSALE:

CLEANINGMATERIAL

NEVERBEENUSED

OWNERAWAYFOR

AFEWYEARSASA

GUESTOFHERMAJESTY

non compos mentis

ITS OFFICIAL:

NO DIFFERENCE

BETWEEN THEFT

AND TRADING

ASK OUR NICKNick Leeson: The archetypal rogue trader

Im upset that Adoboli was so untidy. It

gives our trade a bad name

CADS: As a thieving bstard yourself how is it possible to

sweep a billion or two under the carpet?

Our Nick: While there has been a regulatory

clampdown on proprietary trading since the 2008 financial

crisis its hard to distinguish a traders activity from

ordinary market making.

CADS: So there you have it from the rouges mouth.

The regulators cant tell the difference between

theft and trading.

DearNick,

As a mother of six Ican

fully empathise with your

disgust at Adobolismessy

room? Im always screaming

at my littlehorrors toget

themtotidyup,butitalways

falls on deaf ears.Doyou

thinktheywouldmakegood

traderswhentheygrowup?

Yourswheneveryouwantme,

MrsR.T.Rader.
http://cads-amsterdam.org/Welcome.htmlhttp://cads-amsterdam.org/Welcome.html


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With his wife away on a research trip

for the Gates Foundation, Microsoft

founder Bill Gates spent $56 million on

Amazon in a single marathon session late

Wednesday night. "The kids were in bed,

and I was thinking about how it had been a

long time since I'd heard any Yes, so I

bought the MP3 for 'Leave It,'" Gates said

as he opened one of the 13,846 boxes that

had arrived at his house. "Then I started

looking into other songs Trevor Hornproduced and bought all the Frankie Goes

to Hollywood and Art of Noise CDs they

had. I guess that sort of inspired me,

because next I purchased Amazon's entire

inventory of musical instruments,

equipment, and software, and before I knew

it, I somehow ended up with 200 sets of

luggage, all their TVs, a bunch of kayaks,

that Krakauer book about the Mormons,

and I don't even know how many walk-in

freezers. Oh, and a dozen chandeliers and a

birdbath and pretty much all their watches,

too." Gates told reporters he came to his

senses at about 5 a.m. after realizing he had

nearly purchased a controlling stake in the

company.

NUMBER CRUNCHING

9MONTHS PRISON SENTENCE FOR14,000 PARLIAMENTARY EXPENSE

FRAUD FROM WHICH LORD

HANNINGFIELD HAS BEEN RELEASED

AFTER 9 WEEKS, MAINTAINING AT

TRIAL THAT I DID NOTHING WRONG

6MONTHS PRISON SENTENCE WHICHNICHOLAS ROBINSON RECEIVED FOR

3.50 BOTTLED WATER THEFT DURING

LONDON RIOTS, DESPITE TELLING

COURT HE WAS ASHAMED OF HIS

ACTIONS

Scotsmanwith broken

arm winsCADs Golf

Trophy.John Donnelly

claims to havebroken arm

playing football

with Ajax.CADi-leaks can

find no official

record of this

event.

BILL GATES SPENDS $56 MILLION ON AMAZON IN ONE NIGHT

The man told police he had been bombarded

with calls, texts and emails from the woman.

Lawyers say the 42-year-old woman claimed to

be in a relationship with the man and denied that her

actions were excessive.The 62-year-old man deniesthat they were in a relationship.

The BBC's Anna Holligan in The Hague says a

judge at a preliminary hearing granted the woman

bail on the condition that she leave the man alone.

But just a couple of hours after being released,

she allegedly called him again. She has been kept in

custody ever since.

Question: Why did he wait one year

before getting upset?

ETPHONEHOME

Dutch woman

'called boyfriend65,000 times'

A DUTCH WOMAN WHO CALLED A MAN 65,000 TIMES IN

THE PAST YEAR - AN AVERAGE OF 178 CALLS A DAY - IS

TO FACE CHARGES OF STALKING.

CADI-LEAKS


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Two hours before our August lunch at

the Dutch International Cricket Ground,

the heavens opened and dumped 15mm of

water on the Amsterdamsebos in 30

minutes. Fortunately the superb ground

irrigation at the club had cleared nearly all

of the water by the time we arrived, and we

had a dry afternoon. We enjoyed a little

cricket practice, and discovered that Alison

can easily outhit the men, despite not

playing cricket before. We then had a very

pleasant lunch in the club library, and a talk

about the club history from groundsman

Paul Polak.Economic woes continue to dominate

the news this month. I dare not look at my

investments, and it seems that the EU willshortly be bankrupt. Unemployment has

reached a record high in the UK, and the

economy has ground to a halt. Can Mr

Cameron show some mettle and turn the

situation around, or will we have a winter of

discontent followed by an English Spring

of riots and civil disobedience? And will the

Euro collapse whilst we eat our lunch?

On the bright side, Rebekah Wade has

left News International, and several senior

police officers have resigned. The new Chiefis a no-nonsense Yorkshireman, with a

reputation for effective, good value policing.

And perhaps as a result of the poor

economic performance, England is doing

well on the sports front, with victories in

both cricket and rugby although I suspect

we may not progress much further in the

rugbyAs for our own sports, the CADS golf

competition took place last Friday in good

weather. After a very pleasant and gezellig

game we presented the trophy to John

Donnelly, who has now won it twice. I hope

that Ria will allow it to grace their house for

many years to come, as Johns golf is

continuing to improve significantly

following his recent involuntary wrist

surgery after the presentation, we had a

pleasant dinner, and no doubt by the time

you read this, some of our antics will have

been posted on the website.

NextFriday,ourguestspeakerwill

be Millicent Odongo, who founded

Computers For Development. They

refurbish end of l ife computers

donatedbyDutchbusinesses,andsend

them to schools in Africa to enjoy a

secondary career in educaon. I look

forward toher sharing herstorywith

us.

Mike

"Its official: thesummer of

2011 was thewettest since

1906."There were onlyseven summery

days in Holland

(with temperaturesabove 25 degrees

Celsius)

AS THEY SAY, AUGUST CAN BE CHANGEABLE.

CHAIRMANS CORNER

PAGE THREE.

COW CORNER

WATERLOGGED

GREECE TO

BAIL OUT BANKRUPT

EU WITH

EU LOTTERY WIN

WORST DUTCH

SUMMER SINCE 1906

GREECETO

BAILOUTBANKRUPTEU

WITH EU LOTTERYWIN

Documents

New Cads Report Sept 2011