“I said you need to strive to be better than everyone else. I didn't say you needed to be better than everyone else. But you gotta try. That's what character is. It's in the try.” – Coach Taylor, FNL

Rubric – the College Board

Has acceptable thesis _____(1)

Accurately Addresses all parts of the question____(2)

One point is given if you address MOST parts of the question

Substantiates thesis with appropriate historical evidence - ___(2)

One point is given if use SOME historical

evidence

Makes at least two relevant, direct comparisons between or among societies ____(1)

Analyzes all comparisons – Why did comparisons occur? ____(1)

Elevation points can be given for the following An especially clear and analytical thesis

An abundance of evidence

Comparisons connected to global processes

Clear mention of similarities as well as differences – rich use of words like “similarly,” “in contrast,” “however”

Rich explanations for why differences and similarities existed

Comparisons made within regions in addition to between areas

A thorough discussion of continuity in addition to change

Basic Core:______(/7) Expanded Core:_________(/2)Total: _________(/9)

Thesis Is this introduction SAPE? Specific? (includes dates, regions, and the topic?):

Sample Essay

“I said you need to strive to be better than everyone else. I didn't say you needed to be better than everyone else. But you gotta try. That's what character is. It's in the try.” – Coach Taylor, FNL

Addresses all parts of the prompt (both regions, both sims and differences):

Previews your body paragraphs, at least three strong sims and differences

Evaluates - takes a stand on whether they are more sim/more diff, why they are more similar or more different, and/or what the most signif cause of sim. or diff is

____/4

Evidence Paragraph – Category 1 (Social, Political, Economic, etc.)

Begins with a topic sentence, and supports topic sentence with a Direct Comparison between the topics of the essay – perhaps beginning with the word “Both,” or “While” or “Unlike” _______

Includes at least 2, and preferably 3, examples of concrete, relevant and specific details that illustrate the direct comparison. Evidence should be SPECIFIC and CLEAR – so clear I can see it, and that it would make sense to someone who does not know world history (2 pts.)

_____/2

Thoroughly discusses the Reasons why the direct comparison history occurred (2 pts.)

Causation analysis must include a valid claim about reason for sim/diff, an illustrative detail clarifying the claim, and a justification connecting the causation analysis BACK to the comparison in question. Explanation must make clear sense and be 3-4 sentences long (2 pts.)

_____/2

Evidence Paragraph – Category 2 (Social, Political, Economic, etc.)

Begins with a topic sentence, and supports topic sentence with a Direct Comparison between the topics of the essay – perhaps beginning with the word “Both,” or “While” or “Unlike” _______

Includes at least 2, and preferably 3, examples of concrete, relevant and specific details that illustrate the direct comparison. Evidence should be SPECIFIC and CLEAR – so clear I can see it, and that it would make sense to someone who does not know world history (2 pts.)

_____/2

Thoroughly discusses the Reasons why the direct comparison history occurred (2 pts.)

Causation analysis must include a valid claim about reason for sim/diff, an illustrative detail clarifying the claim, and a justification connecting the causation analysis BACK to the comparison in question. Explanation must make clear sense and be 3-4 sentences long (2 pts.)

_____/2

Evidence Paragraph – Category 3 (Social, Political, Economic, etc.)

Begins with a topic sentence, and supports topic sentence with a Direct Comparison between the topics of the essay – perhaps beginning with the word “Both,” or “While” or “Unlike” _______

Includes at least 2, and preferably 3, examples of concrete, relevant and specific details that illustrate the direct comparison. Evidence should be SPECIFIC and CLEAR – so clear I can see it, and that it would make sense to someone who does not know world history (2 pts.)

_____/2

Thoroughly discusses the Reasons why the direct comparison history occurred (2 pts.)

Causation analysis must include a valid claim about reason for sim/diff, an illustrative detail clarifying the claim, and a justification connecting the causation analysis BACK to the comparison in question. Explanation must make clear sense and be 3-4 sentences long (2 pts.)

_____/2

Elevation Point

An extra “elevation” point can be earned for several reasons: an especially thoughtful essay, an essay demonstrating brilliant style or flair, an essay with extremely specific details and examples, an essay that utilizes uniquely original details and examples, one making impressively perceptive predictions or connections, etc.

_______

TOTAL _____/20

Sample Essay: Jay and ‘Ye

“I said you need to strive to be better than everyone else. I didn't say you needed to be better than everyone else. But you gotta try. That's what character is. It's in the try.” – Coach Taylor, FNL

Prompt: “Analyze similarities and differences between Jay-Z’s and Kanye West’s styles and lyrics.”

Put it into a question: _______________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________

Both Jay-Z and Kanye West rap about how great they are and they have styles that integrate female vocalists. However, while Jay-Z likes to wear New York gear, Kanye is more fashionable.

Both Jay-Z and Kanye West rap about how great they are. For both artists, their rap lyrics frequently discuss their own wealth, success with women, and ability to rap better than other MC’s. This is evident in some of their music. In Jay-Z’s “Big Pimpin,” he rhymes, “Parts with nothin, y'all be frontin/Me give my heart to a woman?/Not for nothin, never happen/I'll be forever mackin.” Here, Jay-Z describes that he is so great, he could never be wed to a single girl. In fact, he’ll forever be flirting with other people. Similarly, Kanye also likes to talk about how much women like him and how great he is. In “Monster,” ‘ye writes, “ain’t nobody as cold as this, do the rap and attract triple double no assists.” Kanye, like Jay, is very proud of himself and uses cultural

frameworks to discuss how great he is. In this sense, Kanye and Jay both like to rap about their amazingness.

In addition to their common lyrics about how great they are, Kanye and Jay-Z also have styles that integrate female vocalists. In many of their songs, they have female colleagues make cameos to sing the chorus or guest verses. An amazing example of this is Kanye West’s “Monster,” in which Nicki Minaj raps one of her most famous verses, calling herself a “bad b*tch that came from Sri Lanka.” Amazingly, she rhymes that with “Willy Wonka” and gets away with it. In the same way, Jay-Z has plenty of experience partnering with female vocalists. Alicia Keys brought herself back to fame with her cameo in “Empire State of Mind,” and in high school Mr. Routhier would dance to “Can I get a…” in which female rapper Amil would ask “can you bounce with me, bounce with me?” Perhaps a reason to integrate female vocalists is because both of these men are in steady relationships, Kanye with one of the Kardashians and Jay with Beyonce, and so perhaps their girlfriends tell them they should have females in their songs.

In terms of style, Kanye and Jay-Z are different. Kanye likes to wear really fashionable gear. There is even a blog website called “dresslikekanyewest.tumblr.com,” which chronicles everything that the rap icon wears. Unlike ‘Ye, Jay-Z likes to wear New York-based gear and does not spend much effort on fashion. Perhaps a reason for this difference is that Jay-Z and Kanye West come from different backgrounds. Kanye grew up in nice parts of Atlanta and Chicago and attended college at the Academy of Art in Chicago, so his fashion sense is naturally awesome. On the other hand, Jay-Z did not go to fashion school – he dropped out of high school in Trenton, NJ. As a result of these different backgrounds, the two probably have different fashion sensibilities.

Your grade for this essay:_______/19

Strengths? Areas of growth?

Zoom in – the Thesis Statement

“I said you need to strive to be better than everyone else. I didn't say you needed to be better than everyone else. But you gotta try. That's what character is. It's in the try.” – Coach Taylor, FNL

The introduction should be three-four sentences long. The first and second sentences establish the global context and briefly introduces the time, place, and topic. The purpose here is to shoot for elevation points – establishing a global context and making rich explanations for your arguments.

The third and fourth sentences make up your thesis statement. In AP World History, two-sentence thesis statements are actually encouraged! First, identify whether you are going to argue that the two topics are OVERALL more similar or more different, and then specifically preview your two strongest similarities/differences. In the third sentence you preview your one-two strongest differences/similarities. Especially analytical thesis statements will include insight in them beyond description – “because,” “due to,” or “most significant” are some common phrases that mark these exceptional thesis statements.

First two sentences—briefly establish the global context (time, place, topic). From 1900-1950, global conflict such as world wars as well as the crisis of capitalism

paved the way for revolutions against established authorities. Exploitation by imperialists sowed the seeds of rebellion in regions like China and Russia, thus sparking revolutions in those regions.

Third/Fouth Sentences—Thesis Statement—Previews two strongest similarities and two strongest differences.

…Overall, the goals and outcomes of the Chinese Revolution of 1911 and the Russian Revolution of 1917 are more different than similar in that the Chinese Revolution sought democracy while the Russian Revolution sought communism, and the Russians relied on a vanguard of urban proletarians while the Chinese relied on the peasant masses. Despite these differences, due to the challenges of establishing communism, both revolutions created a totalitarian dictatorship with collective farming and state-run industrialization.

Is this introduction SAPE?Specific? (includes dates, regions, and the topic?):Addresses all parts of the prompt (both regions, both sims and differences, all required topics):Previews your body paragraphs, at least three strong sims and differencesEvaluates - takes a stand on whether they are more sim/more diff, why they are more similar or more different, and/or what the most signif cause of sim. or diff is

S?

“I said you need to strive to be better than everyone else. I didn't say you needed to be better than everyone else. But you gotta try. That's what character is. It's in the try.” – Coach Taylor, FNL

A?P?E?

The Revolutionary incidents in China in 1911 and Russia in 1917 were very different in that the Russians wanted a communist state while the Chinese wanted independence from imperialists and a nationalist government, but both relied on the people’s support to succeed.

S?A?P?E?

Both the Chinese and the Russian Revolutions installed communist leaders, but the Russian Revolution lasted only a few years, while the Chinese lasted decades. Both revolutions used violence to obtain their aims and fought unpopular governments with peasant support.

S?A?P?E?

Write your own: Analyze similarities and differences between the Routhier Standard and the College Board Comparative Essay Rubric

S?A?P?E?

“I said you need to strive to be better than everyone else. I didn't say you needed to be better than everyone else. But you gotta try. That's what character is. It's in the try.” – Coach Taylor, FNL

Zoom in – Causation Analysis

Relevant thinking skills – Comparison, Causation, Contextualization

Why do similarities and differences occur? Why are you a homework-doer, but your friend isn’t? Why can you sit still in class, but your friend can’t? Why can you talk to girls who you think are cute and are looking at you in that cute way, but your friend looks down at the ground and is convinced that they must be looking at the person behind him? Explaining these differences is hard and complex. The explanation is NOT “He wanted to do his homework, while I didn’t want to.” Rather, analyzing causation of similarities and differences lies in much deeper, personal roots. In AP World History, we write causation analyses about REASONS that similarities and differences occur. These reasons can often be found in _________________________, _______________________________, and ________________ _______________________________________________.

Circle the causation analysis in the paragraph below, and then list – what do you think makes a GOOD Causation Analysis?

Both Ancient Mesopotamia and Ancient Egypt developed writing systems in their societies. In Mesopotamia, cuneiform was a language that used symbols to capture ideas and records. It was often used on stone. The Epic of Gilgamesh is one favorite story that used cuneiform. Similarly, in Egypt, hieroglyphics were used to show stories of pharaohs and Gods, and it was written on papyrus, an early

type of paper, and on the walls of pyramids. A reason that both of these societies developed writing systems was their location in river valleys. Egypt was located in the Nile River, while Mesopotamia was located along the Tigris and Euphrates. This location allowed for the growth of civilization after the Njeolithic Revolution, and therefore records needed to be kept of financial exchanges, deaths, and histories. As a result, both societies devised writing systems, demonstrating their complexity as early civilizations.

Strengths? What are the cFs for effective analysis?

“I said you need to strive to be better than everyone else. I didn't say you needed to be better than everyone else. But you gotta try. That's what character is. It's in the try.” – Coach Taylor, FNL

From the essay writing Bible:

This is probably the most difficult section of the entire essay, and requires the highest level of thought. You need to explain why history occurred similarly/differently for these topics.

Sample Causation Analysis – Mexican, Chinese, Russian Revolutions

The reason that both Mexico and China sought land redistribution is because of the past history of the two regions. In previous empires, like the Spanish in Mexico and the Qing in China, certain privileges were given to landlords. As a result, Mexican and Chinese revolutionaries sought to correct this injustice.

Thoroughly discusses the Reasons why the direct comparison history occurred (2 pts.)

Causation analysis must include a valid claim about reason for sim/diff, an illustrative detail clarifying the claim, and a justification connecting the causation analysis BACK to the comparison in question. Explanation must make clear sense and be 3-4 sentences long (2 pts.)

_____/2

Thoroughly discusses the Reasons why the direct comparison history occurred (2 pts.)

Causation analysis must include a valid claim about reason for sim/diff, an illustrative detail clarifying the claim, and a justification connecting the causation analysis BACK to the comparison in question. Explanation must make clear sense and be 3-4 sentences long (2 pts.)

_____/2

Thoroughly discusses the Reasons why the direct comparison history occurred (2 pts.)

Causation analysis must include a valid claim about reason for sim/diff, an illustrative detail clarifying the claim, and a justification connecting the causation analysis BACK to the comparison in question. Explanation must make clear sense and be 3-4 sentences long (2 pts.)

_____/2

A reason why both Mexican and Russian revolutionaries wanted to overthrow absolute rulers could be because the peasants gained awareness of notions of natural rights. Prior to the Mexican revolutions, there was the Latin American Independence Movements in which Enlightened thinkers like Simon Bolivar

CRITERIA FOR SUCCESS:1) Remain historically focused—don’t get too focused on human nature (there was slavery

because people are bad and are always mean to each other)2) Use KEY VOCABULARY. “The reasons why this happened; this happened because; This

was due to”3) Use illustrative detail to prove your claim about WHY this happened. It’s never just

because “Europeans wanted to conquer.” What FACTS about Europeans GEOGRAPHY, CULTURE, or HISTORY explain their actions?

4) Look back at the evidence you have given, and tie it to the comparison in question

“I said you need to strive to be better than everyone else. I didn't say you needed to be better than everyone else. But you gotta try. That's what character is. It's in the try.” – Coach Taylor, FNL

and his comrades revolted against the exploiting viceroys. The past history of Latin America thus gave motivation and cause for a revolution because they knew that their ancestors have revolted before and been successful.

Thoroughly discusses the Reasons why the direct comparison history occurred (2 pts.)

Causation analysis must include a valid claim about reason for sim/diff, an illustrative detail clarifying the claim, and a justification connecting the causation analysis BACK to the comparison in question. Explanation must make clear sense and be 3-4 sentences long (2 pts.)

_____/2

Thoroughly discusses the Reasons why the direct comparison history occurred (2 pts.)

Causation analysis must include a valid claim about reason for sim/diff, an illustrative detail clarifying the claim, and a justification connecting the causation analysis BACK to the comparison in question. Explanation must make clear sense and be 3-4 sentences long (2 pts.)

_____/2

Thoroughly discusses the Reasons why the direct comparison history occurred (2 pts.)

Causation analysis must include a valid claim about reason for sim/diff, an illustrative detail clarifying the claim, and a justification connecting the causation analysis BACK to the comparison in question. Explanation must make clear sense and be 3-4 sentences long (2 pts.)

_____/2

Summarizer – use your favorite karaoke song’s first initial to describe the main elements of comparative causation analysis:

Element Standard Point (1)

Point (1)

Is this introduction SAPE?Specific? (includes dates, regions, and the topic?):Addresses all parts of the prompt (both regions, both sims and differences):Previews your body paragraphs, at least three strong sims and differencesEvaluates - takes a stand on whether they are more sim/more diff, why they are more similar or more different, and/or what the most signif cause of sim. or diff is ____/4 ____/4

Evidence Paragraph – Category 1 (Social, Political, Economic, etc.)

Begins with a topic sentence, and supports topic sentence with a Direct Comparison between the topics of the essay – perhaps beginning with the word “Both,” or “While” or “Unlike” _______ _______

Includes at least 2, and preferably 3, examples of concrete, relevant and specific details that illustrate the direct comparison. Evidence should be SPECIFIC and CLEAR – so clear I can see it, and that it would make sense to someone who does not know world history (2 pts.)

_____/2 _____/2

Thoroughly discusses the Reasons why the direct comparison history occurred (2 pts.)

Causation analysis must include a claim about reason for sim/diff, an illustrative detail clarifying the claim, and a justification connecting the causation analysis BACK to the comparison in question.

_____/2 _____/2

Evidence Paragraph – Category 2 (Social, Political,

Begins with a topic sentence, and supports topic sentence with a Direct Comparison between the topics of the essay – perhaps beginning with the word “Both,” or “While” or “Unlike” _______ _______

Includes at least 2, and preferably 3, examples of concrete, relevant and specific details that illustrate the direct comparison. Evidence should be SPECIFIC and CLEAR – so clear I can see it, and that it would make sense to someone who does not know world history (2 pts.)

_____/2 _____/2

“I said you need to strive to be better than everyone else. I didn't say you needed to be better than everyone else. But you gotta try. That's what character is. It's in the try.” – Coach Taylor, FNL

Economic, etc.)

Thoroughly discusses the Reasons why the direct comparison history occurred (2 pts.)

Causation analysis must include a claim about reason for sim/diff, an illustrative detail clarifying the claim, and a justification connecting the causation analysis BACK to the comparison in question.

_____/2 _____/2

Evidence Paragraph – Category 3 (Social, Political, Economic, etc.)

Begins with a topic sentence, and supports topic sentence with a Direct Comparison between the topics of the essay – perhaps beginning with the word “Both,” or “While” or “Unlike” _______ _______

Includes at least 2, and preferably 3, examples of concrete, relevant and specific details that illustrate the direct comparison. Evidence should be SPECIFIC and CLEAR – so clear I can see it, and that it would make sense to someone who does not know world history (2 pts.)

_____/2 _____/2

Thoroughly discusses the Reasons why the direct comparison history occurred (2 pts.)

Causation analysis must include a claim about reason for sim/diff, an illustrative detail clarifying the claim, and a justification connecting the causation analysis BACK to the comparison in question.

_____/2 _____/2

Elevation Point

An extra “elevation” point can be earned for several reasons: an especially thoughtful essay, an essay demonstrating brilliant style or flair, an essay with extremely specific details and examples, an essay that utilizes uniquely original details and examples, one making impressively perceptive predictions or connections, etc.

_______ _______

TOTAL ____/20___/20