Copyright © 2008 by Nelson Education Ltd. Ch. 4-1 Chapter 4 Revising and Proofreading Business Messages

Copyright © 2008 by Nelson Education Ltd.Copyright © 2008 by Nelson Education Ltd. Ch. 4-1

Chapter 4Chapter 4

Revising and Proofreading Business Messages


Revising and ProofreadingRevising and Proofreading

Revising: Improving content and sentence structure.

May include adding, cutting, changing.

Proofreading: Correcting grammar, spelling, punctuation, format, and mechanics.


Concise WordingConcise Wording

Look for shorter ways to say what you mean.

Instead of this:We are of the opinion that

Please feel free to

In addition to the above

At this point in time

Due to the fact that

Try this:We think

Please

Also

Now

Because


Long Lead-InsLong Lead-Ins

Instead of this:

This memo is to inform

you that all employees

meet today.

I am writing this letter to say thanks to everyone who voted.

Try this:All employees meet today.

Thanks to everyone who voted.


Try Your SkillTry Your Skill

Make the following sentence shorter and avoid a long lead-in. This e-mail message is to inform you that in all

probability we will finish in two weeks.

We will probably finish in two weeks.



Make the following sentence shorter and avoid a long lead-in. There are many companies who are certain

that these products are absolutely safe.

Many companies are certain that these products are absolutely safe.


Redundant WordsRedundant Words

Avoid repeating ideas when unnecessary. In these examples, the word in italics is not needed.

adequate enoughadvance warningbig in sizeeach and everyexactly identical

new beginningpast historyred in colourrepeat againtrue facts


JargonJargon

Avoid technical terms and special terminology that readers may not understand.


SlangSlang

Avoid slang (informal words with greatly changed meanings).

totally awesome

chill/chill out

excellent

relax


ClichésClichés

Avoid clichés (overused expressions) by using clearer words.

Last but not least, you should work together.

The project was not a piece of cake.

Finally, you should work together.

The project was not easy.



Revise the following sentence to avoid slang, clichés, and redundant words. Last but not least, the accountant repeated

again the true facts.

Finally, the accountant repeated the facts.



Revise the following sentence to avoid slang, clichés, and redundant words. Because of the advance warning, we made a

killing in the stock market .

Because of the warning, we were successful in the stock market.


Precise VerbsPrecise Verbs

Revise your writing to include precise verbs instead of general ones.

Market researchers said that profits would improve.

What more precise verbs could replace said?Market researchers forecasted improved profits.

Market researchers promised improved profits.

Market researchers predicted improved profits.



Revise the following sentence using more precise verbs. The seller said she would contact you.

The seller promised to e-mail [telephone or fax] you.


Concrete NounsConcrete Nouns

Use specific, concrete nouns and not general, abstract nouns.

The man asked for a raise.

Jeff Jones asked for a 10 percent salary increase.

An employee presented a proposal.

Kelly Keeler, production manager, presented a plan to change working hours.


Vivid AdjectivesVivid Adjectives

Use descriptive, dynamic adjectives.

The report was good.

The report was persuasive (or detailed, original, complete, comprehensive).


What to Watch for in Proofreading

What to Watch for in Proofreading

Spelling

Grammar

Punctuation

Names and numbers

Format

Consistency


How to Proofread Routine Documents

How to Proofread Routine Documents

Print a copy, preferably double-spaced, and set it aside.

Allow adequate time. Be prepared to find errors. Read once for meaning and once for

grammar/mechanics. Reduce your reading speed. Use standard proofreading marks.


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