Whitman Pioneer Spring 2012 Issue 3 Backpage

Feb

092012

PAGe

8

Valentines’ Day Personalities

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Dear Autumn Knutson,

Comic by erika Zinser

The season for love is right around the corner and I thought this could be my big chance to tell you how I feel about you. So without further ado, Autumn, if I ever talked to you I would say: “You are the chicken of my chimichanga. You are my cherries and red wine, flowers and sunshine. If I could paint you a rainbow, I would only use your favorite colors: purple, baby yellow and orange. I would use that pick-up line I’ve been practicing in my head, “Autumn, I’m falling for you” (get it?). But alas, my sweet Persephone, I know that you will disappear as winter approaches, and the world grows cold without your warm presence and smile. I will patiently hold onto your love and memory until the day when you come back to me with your gentle, beckoning breezes and your precious pomegranates. We can dance together in the light of day, and even though I would prefer to dance in the refuge of the darkness at night because I pale in comparison to your dancing, I shall put that aside, just as I put aside doing my homework to write this for you. I would say,“I wish I could take your clothes off so I could see how angels hide their wings.” And although I love your eyes, I love mine more, for

without mine I couldn’t see yours. My friends are annoyed with me because I keep borrowing their hearts since you stole mine, but I would take you over them any day. If I were a stoplight, Autumn, I’d turn red every time you passed by, just so I could stare at you a bit longer. Me without you is like a nerd without braces, a shoe without laces and asentence-withoutspaces. If I got a nickel for every girl I saw that was as pretty as you, I’d be broke. But I’m not broke, Autumn, I’ve been working three part-time jobs all year, so that I can buy you that Valentine’s present (it’s a surprise). Writing this I realize that there is little point since words fall far short of you,my dear, so I will end it here.

With love,Your future husband

P.S. If there is one thing about you that I am disappointed in, it’s that your number isn’t in my cell phone yet.

Creator : DragonArtdragonartz.wordpress.com

http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-sa/3.0/us/

Creator : DragonArt

dragonartz.wordpress.com






Creator : DragonArt

dragonartz.wordpress.com




These pairs can range from adorable and cute to way too over the top, and the reason so many people hate this damn holiday in the first place. They do all the typi-cal agenda items: breakfast in bed, sweet cards, flowers, dinner date and movie. Oh god, it’s like a cheesy romantic comedy. Get me out of here!!

This fellow could not be more obvious that he has no one to love on Val-entine’s Day. Moping around with a pout and a downturned head, he is the embodiment of loneliness it-self, treating this day as a mourn-ing ceremony rather than a com-mercial holiday filled with candy. No amounts of Adele or tequila can bring him any comfort.

We all know those people who use Valentine’s Day as an excuse to try to get in on dat V-Day action. Just

because the emphasis is on love this day, it does not mean Cupid is ready to shoot around arrows

with condoms attached. The male version preys on

the lonely single girl who is just looking for reassurance.

Nothing is more refreshing than interacting with a person who is confident and doesn’t let the romantic drags of this day bring them down. However, this person likes to be involved in many “anti-Valentine’s” activi-

ties, which makes the dreary pain of this day even worse.

You can recognize this person if she is in a long dis-tance relationship and spends all day skyping with her sweet boo. Another tell-tale sign is tons of mail-

ordered flowers and balloons. It looks like her room was decorated by the Hallmark people

themselves. The best thing to do is avoid these people, or else they will inces-

santly talk to you about their loving cutie pie, which is enough sugar to make you want to puke.

These folks are cheery and give out loads of

chocolate and valentines to everybody!! Gotta love the people who don’t believe that the tasty as-pects of Valentine’s Day are limited to romantic couples.

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lurkbook lurkbook

Nicole StateSchool Smith







Matt Whitman Johnson






I thought something smelled . . . just realized I’m next to the garbage

Bike ride to Waitsburg, time for a shower

Anthro prof just called me “301,” what the what? Totes naming my first-born after my bio prof

Dudes no homeworkkkkkkk over the weekend OH YEAH BABY

YES only two essays to write and 300 pages to read this weekend! MAMA’S GOIN’ OUT TONIGHT

Had to print out like 60 pages for psych, felt like a jillion pounds haha

Had to print out like 60 pages for psych; double-sided and four pages per side and I still cried a little thinking about all the trees I just murdered :’(

Headin’ over to the Tri-cities for the day, who’s with me? HUMANE SOCIETY PETTING SESH WHO’S WITH

ME??

(no statuses about grades)Got a 98 on my Psychology test!

I think I may have just eaten a whole box of goldfish crackers . . .

I think I may have just eaten a whole box of gold-fish crackers . . .

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Whitman Pioneer Spring 2012 Issue 3 Backpage