Stigma Mag Final 1

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The San Mateo County Youth Commission Talks AbouDepression and Suicide Prevention

Youth Speak Out

About Depression

p. 6

Ready, Set, Heal!

P. 17

Community Resources,

stats and more!

Reflecting on T

Palo Alto Tragedi

p.

131 Things

be HapAbou

p

Summer, 2



The Purpose of the San Mateo

County Youth Commission

• Provide a forum for youth to de-

velop projects and policy recom-

mendations to address issues

that are important to young

people in San Mateo County.

• Provide youth input into policies

and projects occurring in San

Mateo County’s Boards and

Commissions and other govern-

ance structures.

• Disseminate findings and recom-

mendations to the community

and the San Mateo County

Board of Supervisors.

• Collaborate with other youth,

elected officials, and the general

public to address issues of con-

cern to young people.

Who Are We?

The Youth Commission (YC) was established

in 1993 by the San Mateo County Board of Su-

pervisors. 25 – 30 youth ages 14 – 21 serve on

the Youth Commission, and they reside

throughout the County. In the YC, members

have the option of serving on a County Board

or Commission or to work collaboratively on

a countywide policy project. We currently

have youth serving on the Mental Health Board,

the Commission on the Status of Women, and

the Pride Initiative, among others. The YC is

supported by the SMC Health Department,

Health Policy & Planning Unit and the Youth

Development Initiative at Youth & Family En-

richment Services.

2009-2010 Youth Commission MembersExecutive Board:

Co-Chair: Nick Kosturos-Crystal Springs Uplands School-

Policy Track

Co-Chair: James Pollack- Burlingame High School-Peninsula

Partnership Leadership Council and Policy Track

Co-Secretary: John Ha- Mills High School-Policy Track

Co-Secretary: Donald Livingston- Summit Preparatory

Charter High School-Mental Health Board

General Membership-Board and Commission Track:Terry Chan- Mills High School-First 5 Commission

Sylvia Chen- Mills High School-First 5 Commission

Jessica Esquivel- Sequoia High School—The Pride Initiative

and Policy Track

Rebecca Flores-Notre Dame De Namur University-

Commission on the Status of Women

Melissa Sanchez Rodriguez- Burlingame High School—

Juvenile Justice Delinquency Prevention Commission

Stephanie Young- Crystal Springs Uplands School—

Commission on the Status of Women

General Membership- Policy Track:

Andrew Avila- El Camino High School

Kerri Chiu- Mills High School

Marian Cole-Burlingame High School

Jasmine Elmiari- Capuchino High School

Farsam Fraz- Mills High School

Brittney Filimoehala-Egan– Mills High School

Michael Gao- Mills High School

Sharon Godinez-Woodside High School

Kevin Hill- Sequoia High School

Thomas Hunter- Sequoia High School

Ausjerae Elayne Holland- Eastside College Preparatory

School

Kristie Lui- Mills High School

Edwin Man- Mills High School

Heather Ngai- Burlingame High School

Conrad Postel- Capuchino High School

Shannon Tam- Mills High School



Table of Contents

The Numbers——5

In Our Own Words: Youth Talk About

Depression——6

Stress and Schools——7

OnYourMind.net——8

Mental Health Vocabulary—— 9

Submission: Part of My Life——10,11

Under the Surface: Depression in Men,

Depression in Women——12,13

Tragedy at Henry M. Gunn High

School——14

131 Things to be Happy About——15

Hopeful Vs. Hopeless——16

Ready, Set, Heal!——17

Submission: My Poem——18

Stigma and Depression——19

Community Resources—— 20

Magazine Editors:

John Ha and Farsam Fraz

Letter from the EditorsFarsam Fraz & John Ha

As editors from the San Mateo County Youth Commission,

we present to you this magazine to eliminate or reduce

the stigma of depression and suicide by highlighting per-

sonal stories, statistics, and community resources. We at

the youth commission view this topic as one of the most

relevant issue among youth and have chosen this topic

above all others as our policy track project.

With the recent rise of reported suicides, such as the inci-

dents at Gunn High School in Palo Alto, we feel compelled

to raise awareness about this issue and prevent future oc-currences. To accomplish this goal, we have accumulated

information from various sources including notes from

local fishbowls on teen depression, personal testimonies,

guest speakers on suicide prevention, and other reliable

online sources. While we hope this magazine pro-

vides valuable information, please know it should not

replace seeking help from mental health professionals.

We are youth hoping to help other youth.

By reading these articles, we sincerely hope you will attain

a new perspective and become more open to discussingthis important issue with other youth. We strongly believe

this is an essential first step in raising awareness and pre-

venting incidences of suicide. Thank you and enjoy.

— The San Mateo County Youth Commission, 2010 Note to Readers: All articles, with the exception of the

two community submissions, are written by members of

the SMC Youth Commission. This magazine does not claim

to eradicate stigma; rather, this project seeks to encouragedialogue around the issues of teen suicide, depression and

stigma. While many “facts” are cited, this content reflects

YC views and does not address all perspectives. Please

visit NAMI of San Mateo County at: http://

www.namisanmateo.org/advocacy.asp or the Na-

tional Mental Health association at: http://

www.nmha.org/ for more comprehensive informa-

tion.



Contribution for “Talk About It: Break the Stigma”From: Kristin Dempsey; Behavioral Health and Recovery Services (BHRS)

Co-Chair Suicide Prevention Initiative

I was honored to be asked to write anacknowledgement for “Talk About It: Break

the Stigma.” As I read through the newsletter,I was struck by the depth and honesty of thestories addressing very sensitive mental healthissues, as well as by the amazing productionvalues (nice job!). I’m also a bit intimidated,because as I read this, all professional and edu-cated, I am painfully aware of my assumptionsabout youth, and how these assumptions canbe quite dangerous.

Additionally, I am disappointed in my-self. I was a part of the “Me” generation wayback in the Reagan-Youth 80’s. At least that’s

what I was told. We were amused with theassumptions made about us as youth by theolder generations. I remember organizingdemonstrations against apartheid or for repro-ductive rights in the middle of the night, andmusing how somehow we were viewed as partof a self-interested, self-focused mass of un-grateful youth, all collectively “out for numberone.” Whatever. We weren’t going to be soout of touch with our kids. So, how doesthis happen, that as we age, we get youth soincredibly wrong? Ask almost any adult, and no

one can fully explain how we lose touch. Weare good at judging, though. We might notknow how we’ve moved away from the youth-ful perspective or what has caused the worldto change, exactly, but we like to make allkinds of pronouncements about the inferiorityof those coming up.

Without lamenting further, I can onlysay that for whatever reason, we don’t get it.One possible solution: adults need to judgeless and really listen. How do you know if weare listening? The conversations and practices

change. You know, skate parks get built, andhealth programs have Facebook pages.

And yes, we really rely on the youthleaders, such as those on the Youth Commis-sion, to tell us what’s up, and help us get intouch with our unhelpful, counter-productiveassumptions. So in honor of the “kids” whotalked with us over the last year, let me ad-dress a couple of brilliant nuggets I neverwould have got if I didn’t listen to some pow-

erful messages from youth.

“ I think a lot of the discussion was based on

how to help friends who may be suicidal/

depressed, but there was not a lot of talkabout what to do if you are feeling suicidal/

depressed.”

This is from feedback from Summit High 10th graders attending a session on suicide organ-ized by Youth Commissioner DonaldLivingston. Until I read this feedback, I waseasing into the subject, you know, not wantingto upset anyone, by being gentle and indirect. Iwas powerfully moved by the words I receivedfrom the youth: BE REAL. I now have an op-

portunity to change my act; open up, be direct,stop sugar-coating the painful realities we allface.

Similarly, I might have assumed thatsome youth don’t want to privilege adults withopportunities to help them deal with Suicidal-ity, but I discovered through listening that re-luctance comes not from youthful resistance,but from overly intense efforts on the part of adults to get teens to talk. A member of ElCentro’s Youth Advisory Board informed usthat youth “get defensive…you have to work up

to [talking about suicide]…don’t accuse them of [being suicidal].” Feeling accused and under at-tack keeps most of us from saying how wefeel, even if what we need to say is criticallyimportant.

There is more we are learning every-day from our youth leaders, and the youththey inspire. I congratulate the members of the San Mateo Youth Commission for beingthose talented leaders who are willing to takethe risk of speaking out. I challenge my adultpeers to also risk, move out of their comfort

zone and open up to listening. We have so

much to learn from each other.



By: Sharon

Godinez &

Marian

Cole

• Suicide is the 3rd leading cause of death for children and youth aged 10-19

(National Center for Youth Statistics, 2005).

• Among high school students in the United States, females were more

likely to report having considered, planned, and attempted suicide compared

to males (Center for Disease Control, 2007).

• Still, there are 4 completed male suicides for every 1 completed

female suicide (http://www.save.org/index.cfm?fuseaction=home.viewpage&page_id=705d5df4-055b-

f1ec-3f66462866fcb4e6).

• About 20 percent of teens will experience depression before they reach

adulthood (http//www.teendepression.org/articles5.html).

• As many as 8.3 percent of teens suffer from depression for at least a year,

compared to about 5.3 percent of adults (http//www.teendepression.org/

articles5.html).

• Teen depression can affect a teen regardless of gender, social background,

income level, race, school, or other social factors (http//

www.teendepression.org/articles5.html).

• 30 % of teens with untreated depression are more likely to develop a sub-

stance abuse problem or engage in risky sexual behaviors, leading to higher

rates of pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases.

Want to talk? Please call the 24 hr confidential hotline: 1-800-273-TALK or visit the youth website: www.onyourmind.net



In Our Own Words:

Youth Talk about

Depression!

Quotes compiled by Nick Kosturos

The following statements are from real youth at a local

high school in San Mateo County. They bravely share

their experiences with depression in order to raise

awareness about how real this issue is for many teens.

“When you are depressed there

is nothing you can do to

make yourself happy,” you

feel “miserable” and “alone.”

Young people are dealing with depression by using

“drugs, alcohol, cutting.”

When I was depressed, “I didn’t care [about anything] and was crumpled up inside.”

“I have tried cutting and got obsessed with it. Feeling the small pain makes me feel better.”

Youth can help their peers with depression by “not

forcing answers” and just “listening.”

The community can help

youth with depression

by “being aware of

the warning signs

of depression and

raising AWAR-

NESS.”

Many youth don’t talk about depression because they’re “fearful of being

labeled crazy or psycho.”

I am not talking about this issue with adults, because

“I can’t trust them, they think you’re sad not de-

pressed.”

“I want to help [my friends] who are depressed but don’t know how.”




Kerri Chiu & James Pollack

“Stress” is a word prevalent in the lives of high school students in

San Mateo County, heard in the halls when talking about SATs, dates

to prom, and final exams. Stress is an ever-present factor in every

student’s life.

Both school and one’s personal life have grown to be large con-

tributors to the stress of students. We’ve all felt the strain of study-

ng for that next test or have been pressured by our parents and

peers to get into a top college. However, this stress can take a sig-

nificant toll: if left unchecked, stress can lead to anxiety, depression,

nsomnia, changes in weight, and a decreased quality of life.

Of a sample of 5000 Bay Area youth, 54% of high school females

and 32% of high school males reported three or more symptoms of

stress in the past month (Galloway, 2009). Many youth report that

some of the most common stress triggers include grades , parental

pressure, friends, relationships, college, finding a job, standardized

testing or other stressors–everyone can feel the pressure to per-

form.

Persistent stress, as previously mentioned, can lead to depres-

sion and other serious consequences beyond the mental health

realm. There are many theories as to the correlation between

stress and depression. The prevailing theory is that stress can lead to

the destruction of neuron connections in the hippocampus (a part of

the brain). This atrophy can result in increased symptoms of depres-

sion (Bear). This connection means that stress can cause physical

changes, leading to depression over time if left unchecked.

Be sure to use resources mentioned throughout this magazine

to your advantage if you start to experience signs of stress, depres-

sion or suicide. Keep in mind that you are not alone—all students

feel stress. For example of the 2,200 Stanford students surveyed in

2007-2008, nearly 12% said they had thought of suicide (Stanford

Task Force). Stress is not something felt only by those who attend

high school or college; each of us face our own unique challenges

inside and outside of school. We must be aware of our personal

stress triggers in order to adopt healthy coping mechanisms.

It is important to use resources at your school and community

to deal with your stress in a healthier way. Talking to a trusted adul

such as a teacher, college counselor, staff, administrator, or your

guardians can help with stress in a constructive way.

Adults often say that high school is the best time of your life but

it can be hard to think so given the high levels of stress we all ex-

perience. But remember, it doesn’t have to be as stressful as it is.

There is always a place to go for support, and resources are listed in

the back of this magazine.

Good Ways to Relieve Stress!

• Go for a walk/exercise

• Call a good friend

• Play with a pet

• Meditation & yoga

• Listen to music

Sources:

-M. F. Bear and W. C. Abraham. Long-term depression in hippocampus.Annu Rev Neurosci. 1996; 19: 437–462. doi: 10.1146/

annurev.ne.19.030196.002253.

-Galloway, Mollie K., Connor, Jerusha O., and Pope, Denise. 2009. Stan-

ford Survey of Adolescent School Experiences. Presentation at Challenge

Success May Conference, Stanford, CA.




Q&A

from

What is OnYour-Mind.net?

OnYourMind.net pro-

vides a safe and anony-

mous place for teens to

get information and sup-

port from other teens.

You can talk about any-

thing that’s on your mind,

including relationships,

school, depression, stress,

suicide, friends, parents,

cutting, identity, and

health. You can also sub-

mit a question to be an-

swered on our Q&A page,

or connect to resources

for additional information

and support.

Q: I think my friend is depressed, but I don’t know

what to do. What should I say to him?

A: If you believe your friend is depressed, then you probably have

some good reasons. Maybe he has started to withdraw from social

activities or hobbies that he used to enjoy. Maybe you have noticed

changes in his eating or sleeping habits. Whatever the reasons, you

should try to ask your friend about it. Just tell him that you have no-

ticed some changes and you are concerned. You could tell him thedifferent things you have observed that have caused you to

worry. Let your friend know that you want to talk to him about

whatever it is that is bothering him. Let him know that you are here

for him and you are willing to listen to anything he wants to talk

about. You could also suggest that he try talking to a school counselor

about what’s going on and offer to go with him to the counselor’s of-

fice if he wants you to. Also, tell him how he can reach a local crisis

line if he’s interested (1-800-SUICIDE or a youth hotline at 1-800-

843-5200). Keep being a good friend to him and looking out for him. If things don’t improve or you get really concerned, you might want to

talk to a school counselor or other trusted adult yourself.

Q: What are the warning signs of suicide?

A: Warning signs include cutting/self injury, writing a will or giving things

away, saying “goodbye” or “I love you,” threats of suicide, drug/alcohol

abuse, drastic changes in mood, and depression. Symptoms of depression

can include: changes in eating/sleeping habits, isolation, withdrawal, feel-

ings of helplessness, hopelessness, worthlessness or despair, feeling

lonely, and no longer getting enjoyment from activities that you used to

enjoy. Please remember that none of these things mean someone is suici-

dal. But the more warning signs that are present, the more at risk that

person may be; don’t hesitate to talk about it!




By: Kristie Lui

Mental Health Disorders and the Actors that Portray Them

• Bipolar Disorder (also known as manic depression) is a

mental disorder that causes extreme mood, energy, think-

ing, and behavioral swings. Worse than a typical mood

swing, one with a bipolar disorder can instantly switch from an unnatural ecstasy to an extremely un-

healthy depression.

Jessica Stroup in TV show 90210 , Kirk Douglas in movie Lust for Life

• Depression affects how you feel, the way you think and how you act. Often those diagnosed with de-

pression lose interest in activities that were once enjoyable to them, and feel distressed for extended peri-

ods of time. It can affect their body, mood, thoughts, and behavior as well as their eating habits, how they

feel and think, their ability to work and study, and how they interact with people.

James Stewart in movie It’s a Wonderful Life, Isabelle Adjani in movie Camille Claudel, Sean Penn in

movie The Assassination of Richard Nixon

• Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) is an anxiety disorder characterized by chronic, unwanted

thoughts and/or repetitive actions possibly due to deep feelings of doubt. Those with OCD may also be ob-

sessed with germs or dirt, and wash their hands repetitively.

Tony Shalhoub in TV show Monk , Nicholas Cage in movie Matchstick Men, Leonardo DiCaprio in movie The

Aviator

• Post-Traumatic Stress Disord er (PTSD) is an anxiety disorder that can develop after exposure to a terrifying event in which

grave physical danger is presented. Events that may trigger PTSD include violent personal assaults, natural or human-caused disas-

ters, accidents, or military combat.

Tom Hanks in movie Saving Private Ryan , Robert De Niro in mov ie The Deer Hunter

• Schizophrenia is a mental disorder that makes it difficult for one to differentiate between real and

unreal experiences, think logically, have typical emotional responses, and behave “normally” in social

situations. A person diagnosed with schizophrenia is capable of having one or more of these symptoms.

Contrary to popular beliefs, schizophrenia does not refer to the illness in which one has multiple person-

alities.

Russell Crowe in movie A Beautiful Mind, Jake Gyllenhaal in movie Donnie Darko, Jamie Fox in

movie The Soloist

Please Note: The definitions and actors provided reflect the perspectives of the author. For more de-

tailed information, please visit the Mental Health Association of San Mateo County at:

www.mhasmc.org.





The following article was a voluntary response to a request made by the San Mateo County

Youth Commission for youth to share their experiences with mental health issues. The goal of

this individual was to share her personal story, in order to provide hope and inspiration. We at

the Youth Commission are grateful for her courage to share such a personal story.

My name is Tanairi and I am seventeen years old. The story of my life

may or may not help other youth understand that even in the most difficultsituations you are not alone. I hope to get my point across by telling you a part

of the experiences in my life and how I got through dealing with them.

I may be different than others in the case that I have a beautiful baby

girl who is seventeen months old. I can say that from the start she has always

been my motivation to not give up on myself and to find ways to fix my prob-

lems because I know that if I did not take the steps to help myself, there would

be no way I could have taken care of my daughter. My life is no longer about me,

but about her. Honestly that has been the most difficult part because I was used

to being a regular teenager who was able to go out whenever I wanted and now

I can’t. I don’t ever regret having my baby and yes she was planned. She is the

strength within me that I could not have found alone.

I am an alcoholic and it is a disease that can get out of hand and con-

trol your life if you do not do something about it on time; you have to be willing

to give up this habit. I grew up around alcohol, drugs, gangs, and violence. I do not blame all these things for the fact

that I have been locked up several times or that my life seems unmanageable. I believe that the things I have gone

through were all up to me because I could have broken a bad cycle in my family but instead I chose to continue living

that way. I used to watch my mom and dad fight and argue and I would shake with fear because I did not know what

would happen next. My dad would leave the house whenever he felt like it and would not come back for two or even

three days. He cheated on my mom a lot and the fights got really bad so my mom had to kick him out. I remember

feeling scared, alone, and as if my feelings did not matter because all the drama was between them and that they had

forgotten I was even there. My dad was also very hard on me and made me feel as if I wasn’t worth anything; he wante

me to live up to his standards. I was not able to be myself because I was so used to putting others before me and keep

ing my head down. My dad left when I was about nine or ten and even though I had bad experiences with him, I missed

him and would beg him to come home. I was missing the male figure in my life. And I had no one to comfort me be-

cause my mom was hurt as well. We were alone, just her and I.

Everyday at school I had a hard time getting through the day because I had so much hate and anger bottled u

inside. I hung out with people who I thought were my family, but they were a bunch of gang members. I was really into

gangs, mainly because I had a sister and cousins who were gang members, so it was normal to me. My friends at schoo

made me feel good about myself because we went around doing stupid things that helped me get my anger out. I start

drinking at age twelve and I loved the way it made me feel because I didn’t have to feel any pain or anger because the

alcohol made me feel as if I was everything that I was not. All the pain my dad caused me from saying I wasn’t good

enough affected me a lot because I became very self conscious and started believing that maybe I actually wasn’t good

enough. I got into a lot of fights because it was a way in which I was able to get my anger out. I started getting sus-

pended, having to go to Saturday school, having half days at school, and I even got so out of control that my mom hadto send me to Vacaville to live with my sister because she did not know how to deal with me. But it got worse there

because I was into more alcohol, fights, gangs, and became less involved with school. These were my negative ways of

coping with my life, and it was not getting any better.

For some reason, I did not have many girl friends. I was always around guys because they seemed like less

drama and more fun. Since my dad left me I had always looked for comfort in other guys acting like they cared for me

because they were the closest thing I had to feeling a man’s “love.” They were gang members and they couldn’t have

cared less about me because I was just a “home girl.” This was just the way my life was, and I continued to do worse

things and it was easy for me because nobody was there to stop me.




Part of My LifePart of My Life lthough my mom loved me, she was drowning in her own stress and I did not want to bother her. I felt that as long as she

ayed out of my way, I was going to be fine. In high school, I was having so much fun because I would drink all day, every-

ay and I was fine. I would get to class wasted or sometimes just not even go at all.

I met my boyfriend when I was in 10th grade and I thought he was the best thing that ever happened to me, and I

ill feel that way, but it’s not a good thing. He is the reason why I am on probation. He is a gang member and an alcoholic,o I became more addicted to these things by being around him. At the beginning it seemed like endless love, and we would

o anything for each other. We stole a car and left San Mateo County, not knowing that we would get caught and arrested

e next day. I’m thankful we got caught though, because we had no money, clothes, gas, or place to go. I was charged with

felony; it was my first charge. We were in Solano County and I got transferred to my county where I managed to stay out

f jail for only a month. I got locked up again in my county, and while I was in jail, I found out I was three months pregnant.

couldn’t believe this was happening. My boyfriend was locked up in camp for almost 9 months, but I was doing well. I was

aying out of trouble, not drinking, and staying healthy, but only because I was pregnant.

When my boyfriend got out and I had the baby we did really well, but he had changed so much. He be-

ame more possessive of me and really jealous. We started fighting more and more and neighbors would hear us

nd the cops were always at my house or his house. I even got arrested for hitting him at school. His parents did

ot like me because they thought I was trying to take their son away or that I was trying to get him into trouble. So

a young girl, I was always getting blamed for things and I would believe I was wrong. His parents decided to takey baby away or at least tried because I would drink or get locked up; they made it seem as if my boyfriend was an

ngel. When I was in the hall, I talked to the staff and they gave me a number to the Insights Program. I got out and

alled right away because I was tired of so many things happening to me and I didn’t know how to deal with my

roblems. Alcohol was only temporary relief.

When I started going to counseling with the Insights Program, I was really shy and thought to myself: how am I

oing to talk to a stranger about my life and my issues? The more I went to counseling, I found out it wasn’t a bad place,

nd I became a stronger person. I started opening up more and started to trust my therapist. I began to feel better about

e way I felt and she was able to understand me. Her understanding was so important to me because I’ve always had trou-

e with people listening to what I have to say and how I feel about things. My thoughts and feelings became valid and that

eant a lot. I was able to talk to her about my life from childhood to the relationship with my boyfriend and everything in

etween. I was just starting to work on myself when I got locked up again because of my boyfriend. I got sent to a girl’s

amp for six months and have been working on myself a lot there; I have made many changes thanks to the Insights Pro-

ram, the support I have here, and my therapist. She helped me feel like it was possible to get out of a bad situation. There

re healthier ways of dealing with a bad situation—you can do something to change it because you don’t have to live a cer-

in way forever. Be strong, believe and trust. I’m doing it and now many people are proud of me and I am really proud of

yself. The one person that I dedicate all my hard work to is my daughter because I know that if I hadn’t had her, I proba-

y wouldn’t have cared less about changing my life. My baby is my life, world and every reason. Even if you don’t have a

hild, know that someone does care about you—and if you don’t believe that, think about your life and the important

hanges you can make in your life. You are worth it!!

“There are healthier ways of dealing

with a bad situation—you can do some-

thing to change it because you don’t

have to live a certain way forever. Be

strong, believe and trust.”



“Under the

It is a common belief that men are impervious to de-

pression, but this could not be further from the truth;

men definitely suffer from depression as well as women.

While depression affects both men and women, there

are differences in the way that men and women are so-

cialized to cope with the symptoms of depression. It is

important to understand these differences in order to

best support men and women dealing with depression.

For men, the ways in which depression is triggered and

manifested often coincide with conventional male roles

and stereotypes. For example, men can become dejected

when they fail to earn a lot of money, because many

males feel that it is their role to be the provider of the

family. Also, some men that become depressed are con-

cerned that they might seem emotionally weak which can

threaten their sense of masculinity. This also compounds

the problem, because men may be reluctant to admit

that they need help.

Even if the source of depression is not directly from

masculine insecurity, it is stereotypical and socially ex-

pected for men to appear “tough” and “non-emotional.”

This is important because men will be less likely to ap-

propriately address their depression for fear of seeming

weak. It has been found that between men and women,

men are less likely to go to a doctor to treat their men-

tal illness. Untreated depression has tragic results: even

though more women attempt suicide, four times as many

men successfully commit suicide. Many of these men had

never sought mental health services. In addition, the rate

of suicide among men is increasing. The reasons for this

go beyond not seeking help to expose other issues as

well. Men are less likely to attempt suicide, but the suc-

cess rate is extremely high compared to women because

of their propensity to use firearms.

Furthermore men use their own methods to deal with

their depression and may use or increase use of alcohol

or drugs which can compound the problem once again.

Suicide is the eighth highest cause of death among mal

in the United States (US Dept. of Health and Human

Services 1). Stigma is the shame or disgrace attached t

something that is regarded as socially unacceptable.

Stigma around males and depression is especially perva

sive, and this perceived stigma can amplify the symptom

men are already experiencing and decrease the chance

that they will reach out for support.

If you know of a male that seems to be consistently

depressed then it is extremely important to be proact

and help them identify resources. In conclusion, as a

community we have a responsibility to educate men an

women about gender and the symptoms of depression

This increased awareness may in turn help decrease t

stigma of mental health.

Citation:

http://www.surgeongeneral.gov/library/calltoaction/

fact1.htm

By Conrad Postal




Surface"

"Like, OMG, I totally hate my life!!!! He didn't call me

back!!!" Is this what a “typical” girl sounds like to you?

Such categorizing of perceived female behaviors, especially

for teenage females, creates stereotypes about "mood

swings" in women, which can make female emotions too

volatile to be taken seriously. Women are often stereo-

typed as the more emotional of the two genders, there-

fore leading many people to believe that they are more

likely to be depressed than men. Also, many people think

that women are more likely to commit suicide than men,

which is an immense misinterpretation; recent statistics

prove that men actually commit suicide four times more

than women do. Even so, women do in-

deed attempt suicide three times more than men do, but in

different ways than men do. In order to prevent suicide in

females, you need to have the background knowledge on

the differences between male and female suicide.

To begin, the reason that any person may at-

tempt suicide is often due to a seemingly endless feeling of

hopelessness caused by work issues, relationship issues,

and many other situations that seem as if they will never

improve. Often, females are not taken seriously when they

experience these feelings and are considering suicide. This

is because society finds women to be always overly emo-

tional, and thus assumes that women will eventually “get

over their problem.” This stereotypical view of women can

lead to society’s ignoring the warning signs of female sui-

cide. Unlike men, women are not expected to be stoic

about their feelings, but intense depression among women

is often ignored due to the general stereotype of women

as overly emotional.

Also, the methods that women use to commit

suicide are generally more premeditated than those of

men. This may indicate that women are less likely to com-

mit an impulsive type of suicide such as stepping in front of

a train or jumping off of a bridge. Women committing sui-

cide are apt to use methods such as a substance overdose

(the number one method of female suicide), or even self-

injury. Such methods of suicide can lead to a higher chance

of attempted suicide instead of committed suicide; women

are more likely to survive suicide because these attempted

methods are slower and give the victim a chance to be

taken to the hospital for treatment or for the method to

be unsuccessful. Nevertheless, it is best to stop an at-

tempted suicide long before it ever happens.

If you are worried that a female friend of yours is

contemplating suicide, then you should never hesitate totalk to her in private about whether or not she is thinking

about suicide. One of the worst myths about suicide is

that asking a person if they want to commit suicide will

make them think more about suicide if they were not al-

ready. If your friend seems abnormally down and possibly

suicidal, it would be best to talk to her about it. Don't just

write it off that she is being a moody teenage girl who is

worrying about "petty" problems; if you are worried, then

it is likely something might be wrong. If you are close

enough to be friends, then you should not be afraid to let

your friend know what you are thinking; it could save herlife. A simple talk can show her that other people do care

and notice her feelings, and that could prevent her from

committing suicide, regardless of whether or not she is

considering it.

Note: The information contained here reflects the perspectives

of the author. For more detailed information, please visit the

Mental Health Association of San Mateo County at:

www.mhasmc.org.

By: Jasmine Elmiari


“One of the worst myths about sui-

cide is that asking a person if they

want to commit suicide will make

them think more about suicide if

they were not already.”



Q: What is the best way to deal

with someone who is suici-

dal? What should I do if I think

my friend is suicidal?

A: The best thing to do to help a suicidal

person is to TALK to them about it. Be up-

front, honest, and straightforward about the

topic. Don’t be afraid to say the word

“suicide” or to ask them if they are suici-

dal. Talking about suicide doesn’t hurt the

person! Many times suicidal people want

someone to talk to, but they are afraid or

don’t know who to turn to. So, talk to the

person and let him/her know that you are

here and willing to talk about anything, in-

cluding suicide. If they don’t want to talk to

you about it, you can refer them to a crisis

hotline and that way they can talk to some-

body anonymously. Or you can call a localcrisis hotline and get some resources for

your friend. You can ask the people at the

hotline to give you some referrals to differ-

ent counseling options or support groups. It

might make things easier for your friend if

you do some of the work for him/her. Fi-

nally, if you are worried about someone be-

ing suicidal, you need to tell a trusted adult!

You can tell a parent or family member, a

teacher, counselor, or any other adult that

you trust and can talk to. It’s a lot of stress

worrying about someone being suicidal and it

is too much for one person to handle. Telling

an adult not only helps your friend, but it can

also relieve some of your stress, too.

Tragedy at Gunn

High School

In the month of October, 2009, a student attend-ing Gunn High School in Palo Alto decided to take his ownlife at the Charleston Road Caltrain crossing. This incidentmarked the fourth time a Gunn High School student de-cided to commit suicide within the last year. Palo Altopolice have also prevented between eight to ten possibleattempts in the same area.

This recent increase in suicides has especially af-fected students attending Gunn High School. One GunnHigh School Student said, “I didn’t know him, but a lot of the kids are taking it pretty hard. The mood at school ispretty down.” The school administration is trying to ad-

dress the issue of student depression by encouraging stu-dents to seek out available resources and discuss theirstress, depression, and mental health with school counsel-ors or other trusted adults.

Gunn High School principal, Noreen Likins, ad-vised the community: “Breaking the code of silence sooften observed by teens, even when they know friends arewrestling with difficult issues, can be the very best, mostsupportive thing they can do for their peers." The mediaand police have stopped publicizing the Caltrain areawhere the suicides and suicide attempts have occurred inorder to prevent repeat incidents from occurring and al-low the community to recover from its losses. This is why

it is so important for youth to keep talking about mentalhealth—silence doesn’t stop suicide.

The suicides at Gunn High School have affectedthe entire Bay Area community and have forced schooladministrators to take a second look at their available pro-grams and services. Let all those personally affected by thistragic set of events know that the hearts and minds of theentire Bay Area community are with them.

“Breaking the code of silence so of-

ten observed by teens, even when

they know friends are wrestling with

difficult issues, can be the very best,

most supportive thing they can do

for their peers.”


By: Nick Kosturos



By: Edwin Man and Shannon Tam

1.The smell/feel of

fresh laundry2.The extra bounce inyour step from new socks

3.The smell of the air after itrains

4.Stepping on crunchyAutumn leaves

5.Popping Bubble Wrap

6.Free Things

7.Being warm on acold day

8.Fuzzy blankets

9.Puns

10.The perfect pair of

pants

11.Adorable pictures of animals

12.Witty re-marks

13.Chocolate

14.Fast internet

15.The smell of

Jasmine tea

16.Jokes betweenfriends

17.Toy Stores

18.Doodling

19.Accomplishing adifficult task

20.That song that you

can’t help but sing

along with

21.The aroma of freshly baked cookies

22.The city at night

23.Calm walks at dusk

24.Cheesy jokes/pick up lines

25.Laughing till your

stomach hurts

26.Receiving packages inthe mail

27.A good book that keeps

you up for hours

28.Clam ChowderBread Bowls

29.The first snip of construc-tion paper

30.Fake mustaches

31.Making a swish in

basketball

32.The Eiffel Tower

33.Comfortable sweatpants

34.The soft fuzz inside anew sweatshirt

35.Beating an old miletime

36.Hot soup on a cold

day

37.Laying on cool grass inthe summer

38.Old songs that you stillknow the lyrics to

39.Reminiscing aboutgood times

40.The extraordinary feats ordinary peopleaccomplish together

41.The little things that

make your day

42.Splashing in

puddles

43.Your favorite food

44.Classic Disney movies

45.Blowing a big bub-ble

46.British accents

47.Brinners (Breakfast forDinner)

48.Getting a good deal when purchasing some-thing

49.Watermelons

50.Getting money afterrecycling

51.Beaches

52.Singing

53.Poodles

54.Cheesecake

55.Olympics

56.Redecorating

57.Cashmere scarves

58.Twitter Tweets

59.Pixar

60.Open Houses

61.Good smelling

shampoo

62.Pudding

63.Cartwheels

64.Dinosaur shaped

chicken nuggets

65.Puddles (again!)

66.Cool bandages

67.Altoids

68.Roman numerals

69.Jelly rolls

70.Old Cartoons

71.New carpet

72.Hardwood floors

73.The first Goldfishingredient (smiles)

74.Light up shoes

75.Velcro

76.Verdant Grass

77.Quadratic Formula

78.Periodic Table ofElements

79.Noble Gases

80.Pig-Latin

81.Jazz-Age

82.Root beer floats

83.Martinelli’sApple Cider

84.Weenie Dogs

85.Treble clef

86.Light sabers

87.Origami

88.Animal crackers

89.Intricate architecture

90.Blisterfield- The

awkward moment of

trying to get past someone

when you continue to

move in the same direc-

tion.

91.Volunteering

92.Presents

93.Summer nights

94.Hanging out with apet

95.Walking on the beach

96.Staying up allnight with friends

97.Watching fire works

98.Your favorite song onthe radio

99.Vacations

100.Post-It notes

101.Last day of school

102.Dancing

103.Wearing PJs all day

104.Dinnerwith friends 105.Movie nights

with family/friends

106.Hot bubble bath

107.Handwritten letters

108.Funny catch-phrases

109.Snowball fights

110.Stargazing

111.Making fun apple

store videos

112.Bubbles

113.Playgrounds

114.Pretty fonts

115.The Big Dipper

116.Clean bed sheets

117.Being organized

118.Being healthy and fit

119.Big fluffy comforters

120.Having no worries

121. The Smell of good

food

122.Clean house/room

123.Dancing slow mo- tion

124.Interpretive dance

125. Finding awaterfall on along hike

126.Falling in

love

127.Music that makes

you dance

128.Being invited to abirthday party

129.Singing along to

songs you know

130.Blasting music in

your car

131.Life


“Life is full of beauty. Notice it.

Notice the bumble bee, the

small child, and the smiling

faces. Smell the rain, and feel

the wind. Live your life to the

fullest potential, and fight for

your dreams.”



Keep in mind: “this will pass.”

There is a silver lining and

brighter days ahead. Sometimes

a change in mindset can make all

the difference.

Keep in mind: Despair can be

contagious. You may think

there’s “nothing to gain but all to

lose.” You may think about ways

to hurt yourself.

Feels: like you have support from family

and friends that care. You can talk to

close friends and feel trust. You have

hope that things will work out.

Feel: — alone— You can feel iso-

lated, hopeless and rejected. You

may have a hard time concentrat-

ing.

Actions: Even getting out of bed may feel

tough. You may start to estrange your-

self . You may feel lost in your thoughts.

There may be changes in appetite and

sleeping patterns. You may take less

interest in things you once enjoyed.

Actions: To progressively do things you

enjoy. You might enjoy going out with

friends and spending time with other people

in general. Practice de-escalation techniques.

Take long walks in the park or on the beach.

Listen to soothing music. Write poems or

create some art. Take yoga classes or do

activities to express your feelings in a posi-

tive way .

Carries: Its not uncommon for

people to carry drugs and/or

alcohol (to numb the pain) and

possible tools of self injury.

Carries: friend’s and family’s phone numbers on

hand if anything comes up. A personal journal for

processing thoughts. Also has running shoes, a

yoga mat, camera, or something on hand to have a

healthy form of stress release. Strives to have a

mental list of personal goals and things to look

forward to.

Do not stand alone: Stress and depression is not

something you need to go through on your own. Make

an effort to let your friends and family know what is

going on. While it can be difficult to admit how serious

things have gotten, support from the ones you love can

really make the difference. Trust them, and they might

just surprise you.

So when you’re feeling down, your head and heart might be feeling lots of different things. “Others

might notice slight changes in your behavior.” Please remember you are not alone! Use this diagram to

help identify some warnings signs for depression.

If these thoughts or behav-

iors sound familiar pleasecall the confidential crisis

hotline: 1-800-273-TALK.

Also see the list of resources

at the end of this magazine.

You are not alone!

By: Jessica Esquivel &

Brittany Filimoehala-Egan

VS.




By: Heather Ngai

Both families and friends are affected if someone they love takes his or her own

life. The healing process can be long and painful because a loss takes away both energyand joy from a person. For a long time, families and friends grieve over the tragedy. Dur-

ing this time period, people’s behaviors change and the world to them appears upside

down. Family and friends experience different stages when dealing with a suicide, and eve-

ryone experiences loss differently.

The initial reaction to death is shock (http://www.bbc.co.uk/politics97/diana/

cycle.html). Family and friends are caught off guard not expecting to lose a loved one.

They cry for days and stay in shock for however long it may take. This stage is the most

numbing for many, and they are not able to grasp the ideas that someone close to them is

gone. Feelings of abandonment, betrayal, and rejection accompany the stage of shock.Parents are often not able believe that they weren’t able to see the death of their child

coming.

Suicide is preventable and “what ifs” constantly race through the minds of parents,

family, and friends. Parents often agonize that they have let their child down. Blame for

the loss may be put on a third party such as a therapist, counselor, school, friends, etc…

who did or didn’t know of the risk, or didn't act. Being blindsided by suicide generates

anxiety, fear and a sense of vulnerability.

The next stage of the grieving

process is denial and anger

(http://www.deathwithoutfear.com/grief-cycle.htm).

Family members and friends are not able

to accept that their loved one is gone.

Parents especially believe that they are dreaming and that all the events are just a mem-

ory and will fade away. The pain is surreal and the sadness is overwhelming and confusing.

One way people deal with the pain is by yelling and hitting objects in order to feel in con-

trol (http://www.asbestos.com/support/anger.php)

The last stage of the “grieving cycle” is changes in emotions (http://

www.bbc.co.uk/politics97/diana/cycle.html). Some include helplessness and worthlessness,

which is dangerous because these feelings may remain or get worse. It is important toseek out help from friends and family, to talk about these changing emotions. Please refer

to the Community Resources (p. 20) for safe places to express your feelings and take care

of yourself!

“Parents especially believe that they are

dreaming and that all the events are just a

memory and will fade away. The pain issurreal and the sadness is overwhelming

and confusing.”




My Poem

I sit

Listen

Wonder…

Door closed

Window open

Music blasting

Broken mirror

Sleeve up

Contemplating…

My life wasn’t always so complicated. Just always out of place. Time

and time again I tried ignoring the many names she yelled at me. The

ways in which she pushed me so far away even when I wanted to be

so close to her. But my sister never understood. She was too deep in

her world to acknowledge the love I had for her.

No more tears

No more scars

Only smiles…

At the window

Across the quad.

Phone ringing…

“Hello?”

“Promise you won’t hurt yourself”

“There’s no one that cares anyway”

“I care, you’re like a sister to me, I don’t want anything to happen to

you”

“I love you too bro”

No more tears

Scars disappeared

It’s been ten years

My smile never fades

As long as he’s near.

“There’s no one that cares anyway”

“I care, you’re like a sister to me, I don’t want anything to happen to

you”

“I love you too bro”

No more tears

Scars disappeared

It’s been ten years

My smile never fades

As long as he’s near.

My life at home was no tragedy. The only trouble I had was with my

older sister. Three years older than me, she never wanted anything to

do with me. I often thought my life was worthless if my own family

member didn’t want me around. I even thought once or twice about

ending the depressive state I was in, but then I met someone very

special. He listened to me, helped me get my life on track, even made

me smile once in awhile. When things would get tough I would turn

to him, he always knew what to say.

Now, I don’t contemplate cutting or hurting myself in any way. In-

stead I think about the many books I can read, the many movies I can

watch with my sister who now realizes her mistake, the conversation

I will have with him at the end of the day. A new addiction to my

family, my dear friend has become my brother. One I can always

count on to get me through the day.

The poem was a voluntary response to a request made

by the San Mateo County Youth Commission to share

one’s life struggles in the form of personal statements.

We at the Youth Commission are humbled by his/her

willingness to share this personal poem to help other

youth. Our sincerest thanks.




Stigma and Depression

Because stigma around depression labels

people as weak or antisocial, young people struggling

with depression often feel embarrassed or forgotten.There are many reasons why in today’s society peo-

ple feel ashamed to have a mental illness, and there

are many reasons why society must recognize that

depression is common among youth and needs to be

talked about!

One major reason why young people strug-

gling with depression feel ashamed is stereotypes.

Stereotypes have been around throughout history.

Stereotyping is the act of grouping a certain “type” of

thing together, as if they are all the same. One stereo-

type that is often believed in is that all people suffer-

ing from depression or any other mental illness are

“crazy.” Some may feel ashamed if they believe

themselves to be a part of this stereotype regarding

depression. One may also be afraid that other people,

including one’s friends and family, might stereotype

him or her negatively.

Not only do people who suffer from depres-

sion not want to admit to others that they have a men-tal illness, but they may also not want to admit it to

themselves. One might try to deny that they have

depression, and try to convince themselves that they

are healthy, just like their friends and family seem to

be. This is dangerous because people who are de-

pressed should confidently seek professional or

medical help: people with depression are not “crazy”

and it is important to take care of oneself and get

help! When one finally tells other people that they

are depressed, that they are not just having a badmonth or year, it can be very liberating. This is be-

cause when one is hiding his or her emotions, one

tries hard to act cheerful around other people, and

this is a draining process that doesn’t benefit the per-

son struggling with

depression.

Stereotypes about mental health are spread

through a variety of ways. Some of which include the

media and “jokes.” In today’s culture, media con-

sumes much of our daily time, whether we are watch-

ing TV, reading the paper, or surfing the web. There-

fore the media influences one’s beliefs and values. In

many TV shows, or web sites online, mental illnesses

are portrayed in a negative way, by making them

appear overly-dramatic or comical. For example,

remember when Brittany Spears shaved her head,

and the media was giving her a really hard time?

Well, because the media exaggerated Spear’s strug-

gles, it allowed a negative stereotype regarding de-

pression to be further emphasized throughout society.

When the general public watches these types of pro-

grams, and they see a person condemned for their

emotional state, it encourages society to look down

on those with mental illnesses. When someone is

ignorant about mental health, they may believe ru-

mors to be facts and act accordingly—this is what

creates and perpetuates stereotypes in society.

If we can eliminate stereotypes from today’s

modern culture, maybe incorrect, ignorant and nega-

tive views (stigma) can be completely eliminated as

well. There are a few ways people can combat these

common stereotypes. For example, when a stereo-

typical joke is being told around you, you can just

walk away or even better, stand up to that stereotype.

All of these efforts will benefit those living with de-

pression—it is important to encourage people to talk about their emotions and seek help if necessary. “Be

the change you wish to see in the world!”




-Anger Management and Domestic Abuse Therapy

Center: 650-375-0049

430 Peninsula Ave., #7, San Mateo 94401

-Community Overcoming Relationship Abuse

(CORA): 650-312-8515

Teen Hotline: 650-259-8136

36-37th Ave., San Mateo 94401 www.corasupport.org

-Family and Children Services: 650-326-6576

375 Cambridge Ave., Palo Alto 94301

www.fcservices.org

-Family Service Agency: 650-403-4300

24-2nd Ave., San Mateo 94401

www.familyserviceagency.org

-Jewish Family and Children’s Services:

650-688-3030

200 Channing Ave., Palo Alto 94301

www.jfcs.org

-Kara (Grief Counseling for children and adults):

650-321-5272

457 Kingsley Ave., Palo Alto 94301www.kara-grief.org

-Kitty Petty ADD/LD Institute (Information and re-

ferral for those with learning differences):

408-972-9774

6268 Snell Ave., San Jose 95123

www.kpinst.org

-Mental Health Association of San Mateo County:

650-368-3345

2686 Spring St., Redwood City 94063

www.mhasmc.org

-Mental Research Institute (Offers mental health

services, including clinical services for Spanish-

speaking clients): 650-321-3055

555 Middlefield Rd., Palo Alto 94301

www.mri.org

-Morris Center for Adult Survivors of Child Abuse

(ASCA):

[email protected]

P.O. Box 14477, San Francisco 94114

www.ascasupport.org

-National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI):

650-638-0800

1650 Borel Pl., #130, San Mateo 94402

www.namisanmateo.org

-Oak Tree Bereavement Center (Grief counseling for

teens and adults): 415-806-7169

1500 Perez Dr., Pacifica, 94044 www.oaktreebereavement.org

-Puente de la Costa Sur: 650-879-1691

620 North St., Pescadero 94060

www.mypuente.org

-San Mateo County Health System:

www.smhealth.org

Mental Health Access Team: 800-686-0101

Youth Case Management Services: 650-573-3504

-Substance Abuse and Mental Health Service Admini-

stration: www.samhsa.gov

Community Resources!

Documents

Stigma Mag Final 1