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My Seven Epiphanies:The Annual Henry Lemon Sermon

Given by Beth Conover

In Honor of Henry Lemon:Henry is considered to have been the first oncologist in Nebraska. He founded theUNMC Eppley Institute in 1961 (now celebrating its 50th year), and helped establishUNMC as a major cancer research and treatment center. He warned of the cancer-causing effects of cigarette smoking in the mid 60’s, developed better methods ofadministering chemotherapy, and contributed to a program that improved the teaching ofcancer in medical schools.

Henry was already retired by the time I joined 1st Unitarian in the late 1980’s, but it wasmy pleasure to serve on several committees with him. I particularly remember hissupport of religious education in the church, long after his own children would have beenthe beneficiaries. Henry is survived by his widow, Dixie, a long time member of thechurch, and one of its pillars.

Sermon:Thank you to the religious service committee for inviting me to give this sermon. I hadconsidered an academic exploration of a single topic important to me, but MeganGustafson encouraged me to consider talking about what it has been like to be a life-longUU, and what made me “stay.” I call it “My 7 Epiphanies.”

I was dedicated as a Universalist in 1956 in Wausau, Wisconsin. For many years after,that church epitomized for me what was desirable in a religious home…a warm stonechurch with ivy on the outside walls, stained glass windows, a father figure minister, andorange juice with graham crackers after Sunday School. They even had a choir that worered velvet robes, and a nativity play at Christmas time (I played an angel and got to standnext to Mary).

However, my father soon got a position teaching biology at UW-Oshkosh, and we movedto a town where there was not a Universalist church. This ushered in the era of “thefellowship.” By that time the Unitarians and Universalists had merged, and we were now“UU’s.” Fellowships are lay-lead from top to bottom. While I now see the freedom andflexibility that comes from being a fellowship, at the time all I could see was the burden.My father was perennially the president, and always had a key to the church in his pocketand a sermon in his brief case…just in case the speaker for the week did not show up.We met at the 7th Day Adventist Church since they hold services on Saturdays, andmarveled over the huge baptismal tub in the front of the church. There was not an organ,and I was sometimes pressed into work as a pianist for the hymns or as flute player formusic during the offertory.

My strongest memories as an older child are of being different from my friends…

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I belonged to a fellowship, not a church. We read Dr. Seuss in Sunday School, since wedid not teach much from the Bible, and most of the UUA curricula did not yet exist. Asan aside, Dr. Seuss was known to say, “None of my stories STARTED with a moral, but Iam seditious as hell!”…if he wasn’t a UU…he should have been. Thanks, Sam, forreading those 2 stories which are just as relevant today as they were back then.In junior high we discussed Akenaten the sun god, and other stories from world religions.I was jealous of the fact that my friends got to go to confirmation on Saturdays with lotsof kids their own age, while I was the only kid my age at the fellowship. My friends gotto wear cute little jewelry crosses. Perhaps most importantly, they memorized what theywere told to believe, while my beliefs were always a work in process. It was exhaustingand rather embarrassing to never be quite sure what I believed. When I went off tocollege, I tried attending other churches. I wanted a reassuring and ‘easy’ belief system,but fortunately or unfortunately, other religions just didn’t make sense or work for me.

So, I entered my era of multiple UU churches… In some cases I just visited, and neverreally got to know the congregation. In others I joined and became activelyinvolved…usually because some lovely and interesting people showed interest in me andincluded me in their activities. At one point I even joined the UU church of the largerfellowship…an outpost for UU’s who are in a town where there is no church orfellowship…At this point I realized that I was a UU, for better or worse, regardless ofwhat church I went to. But my religion had not really been tested by life’s events.Which leads me to my first real religious crisis:

Epiphany #1…Why do bad things happen to good people? At that time I was anursing student in Cleveland, Ohio at the University Hospital….taking care of lots ofpatients who were desperately ill. Nothing in my life had really prepared me for theterrible things that happened to people, some of whom were close to my age, and whocertainly did not deserve to suffer or die. Some patients would talk to me about theirpain, the unfairness of the situation, and their sense that God had forsaken them. It wasnot possible to be in this situation and not wonder about why these things happen topeople…and my UU background did not allow me to consol myself and others with thebelief that the suffering was all part of God’s plan, or that an afterlife would await thosewho died. It all came to a head during my surgical rotation…I came upon a patient on agurney in the hallway, waiting for his surgery. He was alone and scared, and I stopped totalk with him. He spoke of his love for his family and how afraid he was that he woulddie and leave them. As it happened, I was scheduled to observe his case, so Iaccompanied him into the OR, holding his hand until he was put to sleep. He died duringsurgery, and I remember crying as I cleaned his body before it was taken to the morgue. Ifelt that my religion had only questions and not answers, and that was cold consolation atthat moment.

That night I went to the new members’ class that Shaker Heights Unitarian church washolding. The minister noticed that I looked upset, and afterwards asked me how I wasdoing. The story poured out, and he was obviously touched and concerned….andindicated that he did not always have answers to these things, either. He mentioned thatthere was a new book out, When Bad Things Happen to Good People, by Harold

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Kushner, a rabbi whose son had a lethal genetic disease. The minister suggested that wecould read it together, and discuss it weekly, along with anyone else in the congregationwho was interested. We met for several months, and by the end of that time I haddeveloped strong relationships in my new church, and a fledgling sense of how theUnitarian Universalist religion can support us in dealing with the unfair and bad thingsthat happen in life. I have built on this over the years, and it is critical to my work as agenetic counselor, where I speak with patients every day who have had grievous thingshappen to them.

Epiphany # 2… How does feminism fit into my beliefs and being a UnitarianUniversalist?Not long after moving to Omaha and joining 1st Unitarian, I began attending a women’sclass published by the UUA…”Cakes for the Queen of Heaven.” I have always been afeminist, and while I was aware that most of religion is male-dominated, it did not seemto affect me very much since UU churches are fairly enlightened. I did not know what Ihad been missing! The curriculum of “Cakes” (and the subsequently published “Rise Upand Call Her Name”) was stimulating, affirming, and enriched my spiritual life in somany ways. I did not realize how I had internalized the western male-oriented religioustraditions and beliefs...that women have had a diminished role in Christianity andJudaism (although, at least there is the Madonna in Catholicism). Protestantdenominations which I was most familiar with were virtually devoid of reference towomen in their religious tradition.

Whether it was exploring so-called primitive religions that worshiped the earth, ‘witches’who were vilified as casting spells but were often just wise women who practiced healingand midwifery, prominent nuns, or Olympia Browne, one of the first female ministers inthe United States and a Universalist….learning about women’s role in religion helped meexpand my spirituality, and I felt a sense of belonging. I also made new friends, whowere also on the same spiritual journey.

Epiphany #3….What about science vs belief?As a scientist (and daughter of two scientists) it is easy to think that science has all theanswers. To be honest, I have sometimes been rather condescending about people whohave beliefs that guide their life, rather than scholarly consideration of facts. Well, I amhardly going to discard logic, but if there is one thing that I have learned over time, it isthat science does not have all the answers. Sometimes science is wrong…genetics is avery humbling profession, and many things I learned in graduate school have beenproven false. Smart people were just plain WRONG. In addition, there are some thingsthat cannot be determined by science (like is there a God, what about afterlife?). So,belief may be as good a way as any to address these fundamental questions. Whenreligion is centered completely on logic, it begins to feel a bit sterile. There is a joy inexploring spirituality and accepting that some things cannot be seen or proven.

Epiphany # 4… Universalism is really cool. Most of my life I called myself a UU orUnitarian, and did not give much thought to the Universalist component…despite being‘dedicated’ as a Universalist. Historically universalism referred to a belief in universal

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salvation, where a loving god would not create a person knowing that that person wouldbe destined for eternal damnation. This seemed self evident to me…but more recently ithas been used to refer to people’s universal needs to answer the questions of life anddeath, explore spirituality, and receive comfort. A few years ago, Anita Jeck, a memberof 2nd Unitarian, gave a guest sermon titled “Why I am a Universalist” and it struck achord in me. She used the phrase, “Many paths up the same mountain” to describepeople’s search for God and the answer to life’s questions, and since then I have oftenused it in describing my religious beliefs to others. In today’s fractured world, there is agreat need for a religion which recognizes the commonalities among people andreligions, rather than divides us. The Ware lecture at GA this year was given by SusanArmstrong on compassion and the presence of the Golden Rule in nearly all of the worldreligions. Tom Foster sent a link to it via email, and if you have not listened to it, Iwould invite you to do so. Sam’s reading of “The Sneetches” earlier in this service wasalso in the same vein.

Epiphany #5....No one is going to tell you the answers. To be a UU is to be on alifelong and personal search for meaning. This was SO frustrating for me as a child andadolescent, and I despaired of ever being able to explain to myself, much less others,what I believe. I have become tolerant of the fact that I will never know all the answers.Most of the time I am proud of the fact that I ‘own’ my religious beliefs…that they havecome over long periods of confusion, contemplation, search, and frustration. In fact, ithas been the most difficult times that have lead to my greatest spiritual growth.

When I was growing up, I remember hearing the phrase, “Revelation is ongoing,” as away of differentiating UU’s from other religions. It did not make a lot of sense then, butpart of that was because I did not realize how lucky I was to belong to a religion wherethe answers were always being explored, rather than being predetermined and a donedeal. It is not the end result but the process that matters. By now I have becomeaccustomed to tweaking my beliefs every now and then…sometimes a lot, sometimes alittle. It may be a sermon (Kate’s talk on why people need to belong to groups and viewthose groups better than all others, or Ron’s recent sermon where he said, “the more weknow, the more we know we need to know”), or something I read, or a conversation withanother church member…these thoughts all get pondered and then discarded or added tothe mix.

Epiphany # 6….It isn’t the bricks and mortar that makes the UU religion importantto me…although I find this church building to be particularly attractive…or eventhe religious views…it is the social community. There have been times when I wastempted to stop coming to church…sometimes when I did not particularly enjoy theminister, was annoyed with a particular aspect of church life, or felt that the church wasdemanding too much of my time in a desperately busy life. However, that was alwaysbalanced out by the friendships and personal kindnesses of other church members. I canrecall Barb Ross coming over for an hour to hold David when he was a colicky baby andjust never seemed to stop crying. What a gift! Her soothing presence made me feel thatperhaps I would get through this. Many of the people I admire most in my life are churchmembers…I am constantly inspired by them.

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I am always reminded that the demands of this church are NOTHING compared to thoseof the fellowship I grew up in! This, despite my recent tenure on two challenging andtime consuming committees…GTF and The Survey Squad. You do not know how luckyyou are to have a minister, music directors and an organist, and funds for a RE director...

Finally, it reminds me of how important it is to have groups like YRUU, which helps kidsfind a social home in the church, and the membership committee, which meets andgreets, and helps adults feel welcomed into the church community.

Conclusion:So that is my religious journey thus far. Unitarian Universalism has grown with me,starting as a religious background that I had just because my parents believed it and thatwas what I was used to. It has survived the most of challenges I have given it:1) How does it help me deal with an unfair world where bad things happen?2) How does it reconcile feminism and religion?3) Are the answers to be found in both belief and science?4) Universalism is still a relevant religion for today’s world!5) WHY can’t anyone give me all the answers…do I ALWAYS have to do all the workfor myself? Yes, Beth…learn to live with it, and be proud of your personal belief system.6) It isn’t the building, or the jewelry (although I am wearing my ‘Tree of Life” pendantthat my parents commissioned from an art professor, to make up for the fact that I did nothave the little cross pendant that all my friends wore), or even the minister…Universalism and Unitarianism happens to resonate with my view of the world, butMOST IMPORTANTLY it is also a host to a lot of people I care for and who care forme…fellow travelers on the road to wherever we may go.7) You will notice that I mentioned 7 epiphanies, and have only spoken on 6…well the7th is yet to be….as they say, “Revelation is ongoing”!

INTRODUCTION TO CLOSING HYMN #52…In SweetFields of Autumn.I chose the two hymns today because I grew up with them and they are easy to sing. In afellowship where you never know how many people will show up, you don’t want one ofthose creative hymns that have a difficult tempo or melody! This is my one of myparents’ favorite hymns…they preferred hymns about nature. It is a little early in theseason, but fall IS coming….

LAST READING:As a baby boomer, I felt compelled to end with words from the Beatles…not that I everquite understood the song, “I am a Walrus”…but I do get this stanza:

“I am heAs you are heAs you are meAnd we are all together….”

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