Title: Star Trek-Infinity: Ghosts of the Past (MISC)

Author: Charles Rando (trando@worldnet.att.net)

Series: MISC

Rating: [PG]

Part: NEW 1/2

Disclaimer: Star Trek and all related characters are property of Paramount Pictures. Peter David owns the Selelvian race (see his book "Strike Zone") I'd like to think that the characters I've created and the story are mine! :-)

Summary: With Captain Rando off the ship, Commander Witherell returns home to visit family on Betazed. Meanwhile, Lorin tries to figure out once and for all what's been bothering Lieutenant Williams.

Go to part two

Return to the fourth season archive

There was a picture.

It was the highlight of current Federation technology. A two-dimensional snapshot of an actual holo-video. A moment frozen in time that could become unfrozen by just pressing a button on the bottom of the frame.

It is a picture of people. Happy, smiling faces a truly memorable moment. One that almost seems fake when you place it among real life scenes that aren't quite so happy.

It's a happy picture of a family that isn't always happy.

But it was still a happy memory and it was still a family.

CHAPTER ONE

Lieutenant Phil Williams sat by himself in the crowded Middle Ground. There was something about being alone in a room full of people it made you feel even more alone.

He looked down at the planet Betazed through the large windows that enclosed the room. A whole world full of telepaths. People who could read your mind in a second people who knew you better than you knew yourself.

He wished he was one of them.

Williams finished the last of his Tarkalian ale and set the glass down on the table. And he stared. He didn't even notice when Lorin stepped up beside him.

"Can I get you anything else, Phil?" she asked, very patiently for a woman who had almost a dozen people waiting for her.

"Sanity some piece of mind," Williams grumbled. It was an old game Lorin would ask if he wanted anything, he would ask for something she couldn't possibly give. Then Lorin would tell Doctor Thakur what had happened, and Thakur would get on his back about setting up a counseling session. It was an old game that got older each time it was played. "To be left alone."

Lorin shrugged. "You know, Evan once told me that people don't come down here to be alone. They come here to be with other people you could be alone in your quarters if you really wanted."

"I could be," Williams replied, "but then I wouldn't be able to bask in the knowledge that I was alone, would I? I wouldn't be able to see all these happy people around me I wouldn't be able to notice how separated I am from them. And that would cheat me out of something else to be depressed about."

"So you want to feel separated, do you?" Lorin asked. "All right then, switch places with me. You can be an orphan from a planet no one has ever heard of or seen with no memory of her past who hops around from spaceport to spaceport so that she doesn't get too attached to people who may or may not hurt her sometime in the future. You can get involved with a man who's not exactly the best guy in the world, seeing as he's a bureaucrat in a huge, interstellar dominion, but you find that you can't help yourself because when you're with him, something happens and you don't want to be anywhere else. You want to live alone, Phil? Try my life no family no friends except for the ones I've made here no home. How's that sound? You still want to switch?"

"In a heartbeat," Williams muttered, pushing the chair back before pushing himself to his feet. "Having your life would certainly eliminate many problems I have right now." He kept himself from making eye contact with her as he left the room he kept himself from making eye contact with anyone as he left the room. The less connections he had, the better.

Lorin watched him go and decided that this time instead of going to Doctor Thakur, she'd was going to take matters into her own hands somehow find out what was wrong. Phil Williams needed help, and he needed it soon.

*******************

"Admiral Daubar," Commander Kevin Witherell greeted as the old friend of his superior stepped off the transporter pad.

"Commander," Daubar replied. Her tone wasn't brusque in fact, it wasn't much of anything. And considering recent events, Witherell found that slightly odd.

"How's Charlie?" the Admiral continued, breaking the brief bit of silence that had suddenly coated the tiny transporter room. Even the transporter operator was working hard to find something to do just to make the situation seem less awkward.

"He's doing as well as he can be," Witherell replied. It wasn't that much of a lie, he supposed. True, the Captain thought that the death of Sonja Kassal had been faked and he had run off with Captain Reitz to track down whoever would attempt such a masquerade while he himself was deceiving his superior officers by saying he had actually left the ship to attend Sonja's funeral but as long as Daubar didn't ask any questions that pertained to THAT, it was a good enough answer.

Daubar nodded and began to head towards the transporter room door. "So when will he be back from the funeral?" she asked. She didn't notice Witherell blanch visibly behind her.

"To be honest, sir, he wasn't sure," Witherell replied, still trying to keep his answers as honest as possible. He didn't want to lie to Admiral Daubar but at the same time, he couldn't go around spreading word of what his Captain was really doing. "He just said he had a lot of stuff to take care of before he came back."

"I can imagine," Daubar said stoically, and Witherell wondered if she was buying the story. "I remember Sonja from my last year of the Academy," she went on. "I remember seeing her and Charlie together almost all the time you couldn't see one without the other when they were outside of class." She chuckled to herself, reliving an old memory. "I remember he had this thing for bumping into her in a crowded hallway trying to push her into the wall. She'd push back it would cause quite a ruckus. And at every orchestra rehearsal, she was all he could talk about. He really cared a great deal for her back then."

Witherell nodded. "He still does," he said, before realizing his slip up. Quickly, he added, "There are just some people that touch your life in such a way that you can never really forget them it still feels like they're there, even after they're gone."

"I know the feeling," Daubar said as the two officers stopped outside a turbolift. They paused for a few seconds until the doors opened and they were able to step onto the car. "Deck 12, section three," Daubar ordered. She had been to the ship enough times in the past to know where her assigned guest quarters would be.

"I suppose you're wondering why I'm here, Commander," Daubar said after a few moments.

Witherell glanced at her. "Well, the thought did cross my mind, sir. Starbase 106 is a day's travel from here at high warp."

"It's because sometimes someone touches you in a way that you can never really forget them," Daubar explained. "When Sonja almost died over a year ago, I wasn't able to give Charlie my condolences. I wasn't able to take time away from my duties as a Starfleet officer to perform my duties as a friend. This time, I will not make the same mistake."

"That's very gracious of you, Admiral," Witherell said.

Daubar shrugged. "So many admirals in Starfleet have this reputation of being pompous windbags who seem to forget the people serving under them once they get the big desk. I don't want to be that kind of admiral."

The conversation ended as the turbolift slowed to a stop and the doors opened. Daubar adjusted the duffel she had been carrying from the transporter room a few changes of clothes, Witherell figured, before stepping out of the lift.

"I thank you for greeting me, Commander," she said. "If you're free for dinner tonight, I would appreciate the company."

Witherell smiled. "Of course, Admiral. 1900 hours?"

"Sounds delightful. See you then." And as if sensing the conversation was over, the turbolift doors slid shut.

Witherell stood in the lift, it waiting for him to direct it someplace. He didn't feel like going back to the bridge just yet there was something he wanted to see first.

"Deck four," he ordered.

The lift began to climb the shaft, but Witherell didn't notice. All he could think about were the words he had said to Daubar before the words she had echoed the words about someone touching your life in a special way.

He sighed. "Computer, cancel deck four," he decided. "Deck one."

CHAPTER TWO

There's the picture again.

In the center of the picture stand three people. Two of them look like they've lived long and full lives and are happy with where they are now. The man between them is younger looking, but his eyes show experience that the other two lack. This man has seen things the others have not seen he has been places the others have not been.

The picture doesn't show it, but that right there is the source of the conflict.

A hand picks the picture up presses the button and the video sequence rewinds a bit and begins.

"..ile!" a recorded voice commands, the first few sounds cut off because the person doing the recording started it a little too late. There is much bustling going on and no one is smiling.

"Smile!" the voice says again, this time with a bit of impatience. The family focuses its black eyes on the cameras and each person manages to squeak out a smile that lasts a little under a second.

Long enough for a memory.

"Good," a woman's voice says, but it isn't very clear through the video who's speaking. "Now that that's over with, we can get on with our farewells." One of the people begins to move off-screen.

"Moth-" a voice begins, but it is cut off by the finger depressing the stop button. The video sequence resets to the second-long smile.

One happy memory at least.

The picture is set back down on the table and someone walks away from it, slipping out of the room without a sound.

*********

"Phil? Where are you going?"

Lieutenant Williams tried not to notice as his cousin fell in step beside him. The slender half-Trill brushed her bangs out of her eyes as she hurried to match his speed. But Phil still wouldn't stop. Marianne felt anger build up inside her, but as usual, V'gel was quick to temper it. Without V'gel's presence, Marianne would've grabbed her cousin by the arm and thrown him against the corridor wall to get an answer out of him.

As it was, she just decided to keep up with him staying silent the whole time. If he wasn't going to speak, then neither would she.

Finally, Williams told her, "I'm just going to the holodeck," in a voice dripping of exasperation.

"The holodeck?" V'gel repeated. She glanced at the bag her cousin was carrying. "Sounds like fun."

"Yeah," Williams said without conviction.

"So what are you going to do there?" V'gel asked after a few moments of uncomfortable silence.

"Run a program," Williams said. It was an honest answer and one that could be expected. But coming from Phil, it seemed so dead.

V'gel had been trying for many months now to reach her cousin. She knew that something had gone wrong something was bothering him she had picked up clues along the way to know that it was something to do with her. He thought she'd changed somehow but HOW exactly, she wasn't exactly sure. She had her hunches, but she didn't want to pry into Phil's life without good reason. He had always been a private man and the least she could do was respect him.

Even though sometimes his attitude made it so difficult to do.

She sighed, stopping in the corridor and letting Phil walk away from her. "Maybe we can do dinner tonight?" she called. "Neddek is running a diagnostic, and."

"Maybe," Williams replied, before turning a corridor and disappearing.

V'gel sighed again. She knew that answer she had gotten it many times before.

She'd be eating dinner alone tonight.

CHAPTER THREE

"That was delicious, Commander," Daubar said as she placed her spoon in the empty bowl in front of her. "I so rarely get to enjoy a Betazoid recipe."

Witherell smiled. "I figured it would be appropriate," he said. He stood and began collecting the dirty dishes from the table.

"Well, I am very glad you convinced me to let you do the meal preparation," Daubar told him. "I don't think I've ever had that what was it called again?"

"Cream of Hetallan fruit soup," Witherell answered. "It's a recipe that's been in my family for generations. My mother passed it on to me."

"Well," Daubar remarked, "you're going to have to ask her if I can have the recipe while we're here."

Witherell didn't respond at first. Then he let out a weak laugh, but that was it. He quickly began piling the bowls into the replicator.

"Commander?" Daubar asked, turning her head to look at Witherell. The view of his back told her nothing, but she had a feeling that something was wrong. "You've become quiet is everything all right?"

Witherell turned and their eyes met. "For the most part yes, sir," he replied.

Daubar raised her eyebrow, and then raised herself from the seat. "Which tells me that not everything is all right." She mentally reviewed their conversation in her head, and it struck her. "Commander, I may be an admiral now, but at one point I was a captain. I know how to run a ship."

Daubar's remarks brought a look of honest confusion to Witherell's face. "Excuse me, sir?"

"I'm just saying that I am still capable of running a starship, if need be," she went on.

"Sir?" Witherell asked. He still had no clue what she was talking about.

Daubar chuckled. "For once, it would make things so much easier if you just read my mind," she said. "Apparently, I'm better at it then you are. You have permission to take shore leave on the planet, Commander. Visit your family, see some old friends I can take care of the Infinity while you and Charlie are gone."

"Oh," Witherell replied, still slightly startled. The Admiral HAD managed to read his mind somehow. "Thank you, sir," he said, activating the replicator and stepping away from it. The dirty dishes and leftover food were dissolved back into their molecular components. "But I don't know if I should really leave the ship my duty is here."

"When was the last time you were home, Commander?" Daubar asked, cutting him off in mid-sentence.

Witherell sighed. "It's been years, sir I left after the battle of Wolf 359. I felt that Starfleet needed me."

"And there's no telling when you'll have the chance to come back," Daubar added. "I'm an admiral, and I rarely get to see Earth. So don't look a gift horse in the mouth, Commander. I can take care of the ship while you're gone."

Witherell wasn't sure what to do surely his duty was to Starfleet and to the ship but by her very presence here, Daubar exemplified that there are sometimes when other duties become more important. "All right," he decided. "I'll go, sir."

"Good," Daubar said with a smile. "Then I'd better leave so you can get packed. We have no idea when Charlie will get back, so the sooner you get down there, the more time you'll have."

"Yes sir," Witherell replied. "Thank you, sir."

"Just one thing, Commander," Daubar added as they walked down the horseshoe ramp to the command center of the bridge.

"Sir?"

"Make sure you tell your parents that Admiral Daubar sends her greetings," Daubar told him. "Otherwise, I tell Charlie not to let you off-ship for a year."

"Yes sir," Witherell replied.

Witherell stood, still not exactly sure what had just transpired. The Admiral had just given him permission to leave the ship to go home. It suddenly dawned on him that he WOULD be going home for the first time in years, and that he hadn't even contacted anyone yet.

Daubar was right time was of the essence.

*****************

Lorin stood outside of holodeck one, gritting her teeth in frustration as the computer failed one more time to tell her what she needed to know. According to V'gel, Phil had gone to use the holodeck over three hours ago, and he was still in there. The only problem was that he had encrypted the holodeck display so that no one could see just what program he was using. And it wasn't like she could use a security override to force the computer to tell her civilian bartenders just didn't have those perks. She contemplated going to find Remley and convincing him to help, but it wasn't something she liked to do. She only went for help as an absolute last result after all, she had lived on her own for most of her life that she could remember she should be able to figure out of to decrypt a computer. Well, one last time couldn't hurt.

"Excuse me," she heard a woman's voice from behind her say. "Can I help you?"

Lorin turned to see a young-looking, blonde haired admiral watching her closely and she found herself going quite speechless. Admirals had that effect on her.

The blonde woman stepped closer and peered at the tiny console next to the holdeck's doors. "It looks to me like whoever is using this program wants to keep it private. That's usually what such decryption programs are for," the Admiral said. "Whoever it is you're looking for, I'm sure you can wait until they finish their program and then ask them what they were running. You'll probably learn a lot more that way rather than snooping outside trying to break encryption codes."

Lorin's mouth opened and closed, but no words came out. All she could concentrate on were the pips on the woman's collar the same pips on the collar of her senior thesis advisor the man who had ripped her Starfleet career from her. It didn't matter that Reignor had been a Bolian male and this was clearly a human feeling standing before her she still felt like she was less than a meter tall and less than a decade old.

"Yes yes, ma'am," Lorin finally managed to get out. "I'm I'm sorry, ma'am." She took a step backward, bumped against the holodeck doors and then shimmied as far away from this admiral as she could before running off down the corridor.

Daubar watched her go. She had no idea who this woman was and what she was doing on the ship, but she had a feeling something wasn't right. Daubar decided she was going to keep a close eye on her, though just in case and then she'd mention it to Captain Rando when he returned. No one was going to snoop around on this ship while she was in charge. She took a deep breath it was good to be back on a starship

Even if it was for just a short time.