FWM 2010 09 and 10

SchoolDirectory

� September & October, �010 www.familyworks.org

September & October, �010 �www.familyworks.org

September & October, 2010

APPLE FamilyWorks® 4 Joseph Court, San Rafael, CA 94903 email: [email protected]

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Editorial Information: Lew Tremaine Phone: (415) 492-0720 x231 FAX: (415) 492-1099 email: [email protected]: This major family magazine is published bi-monthly and widely distributed FREE throughout Marin and Sonoma Coun-ties: through home deliveries, distribution to over 200 community locations - stores, public and private schools, medical offices, hospitals, and family-related businesses – and direct mail to thousands of active participants and sponsors of FamilyWorks®. © 2010 APPLE FamilyWorks®, All rights reserved. APPLE FamilyWorks is a nonprofit agency serving families in the Bay Area. No portion of FamilyWorks Magazine may be reproduced without written permission of the publisher. Appearance of articles, editorials, author’s point of view, advertisements or announcements for products and services in FamilyWorks Magazine does not necessarily constitute an endorsement by FamilyWorks® and FamilyWorks® is not responsible for its content or the reactions of readers to its content. FamilyWorks Magazine reserves the right to refuse advertising for any reason. Unsolicited manuscripts and photographs are welcome and should e-mailed to: [email protected]

Executive Director: Mary Jane DeWolf-SmithEditor: Lew TremaineMarketing: Doug SilbersteinArt Director/Website: Christine M. AstinWeb Publisher: Art Severe

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FamilyWorks® Board of Directors:Anjana Berde, PresidentPaul Ricken, Vice PresidentMark Clark, SecretaryMaria Villani, TreasurerVicky SmirnoffAmy Whitelaw

5 APPLE FamilyWorks

Families of the Year Gala

6 Positive Reinforcement A Proactive Intervention ! By Patricia Saunders, MA, MFT

8 School Spotlight Dunham Academy By Amy Logan

APPLE FamilyWorks 11 Parenting Programs

12Counseling Programs

13 Family Interactive Therapy

14 Support for Individuals with Special Needs

15 Tips to Make Halloween More Enjoyable for Your Pets

This seal of approval is a service mark of Independent Charities of America and is used under license.

Content is the responsibility of FamilyWorks.

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FamilyWorks Magazine is published by APPLE FamilyWorks®

16 Can Teaching Self Regulation Help Close the Acheivement Gap? By Anjela Yeager

18 ADHD Diagnosis? Don’t Panic! By Jessica Dore

20 Music Together Announces New Director and Location

22 2010 School Directory

4 Is Attitude Everything? By Mary Jane DeWolf-Smith MA, RN, MFT

Our New LookAPPLE FamilyWorks and FamilyWorks Magazine have redesigned their logos. As always the apple symbolizes health, growth, education, and nurturing. The new design reflects APPLE FamilyWorks’ forward thinking and dedication to strengthening relationships for a lifetime. The new design was chosen after valuable input from focus groups that included executives from Autodesk, Bank of Marin, Marin Sanitary Service Morning Star PR and Sustainable Fairfax, as well as APPLE Familyworks current and past board members, staff, and volunteers.


by Mary Jane DeWolf-Smith, RN, PHN, MA, Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist

Mary Jane DeWolf-Smith is a licensed Marriage & Family Therapist specializing in couples, parenting and co-parenting concerns. She is a renowned family educator. Learn more great parenting skills in her Positive & Peaceful Parenting class. Call (415) 492-0720 to sign up or make an appointment for counseling services.

Avrial (10) runs to her mother as she is picked up from daycare, “Dennis (7) hit me. He is so mean! I hate him.”

How would our attitude change the outcome for Avrial?

ItiseasytoseehowMom’svictimatti-tudecouldleaveAvrialwithlittlehopeinherownstrength,whiletheproactiveattitudebuildskillsandstrength.

Is Attitude Everything?

It’s 7 PM. John (the father) comes home from work exhausted. He plops on the couch and picks up the TV remote. Emily (the mother) enters the house with groceries and the children she just picked up from daycare.

Hopeless/Victim Positive/Proactive

He/she is never any help.

Looks like we’re both exhausted.

I couldjust scream!

How can we share these chores.

Why are thekids so noisy?

We need a transition strategy.

Wecanseehowthevictimapproachcouldcreateapowerstruggle,angryfeelings,andmissthechancetoengagethechildreninbeinghelpful.

Attitude colors our feelings and informs our choice of actions. Our attitude/our automatic thinking effects how we feel and how we act. We all have negative talk and self-talk as hold over from our life experiences. However we can listen to our self-talk and choose the model we are for our children.

Below are scenarios with both the Positive/Proactive Attitude and the Hopeless/victim Attitude.

When we choose to adopt a positive and proactive attitude we assume that there are collaborative solutions. We

don’t expect others to read our minds and protect us, or that problems have instant solutions. The Hopeless/Vic-tim Attitude assumes the worst about self, others and future outcomes.

The next time you are challenged ask yourself: “What are my assump-tions about this situation? What am I thinking? Can I turn a hopeless, blaming or fearful attitude to one of hope? Can I resolve to turn the situation around for the good of all?”

Below are examples of shifting attitudes:

Hopeless/Victim Positive/Proactive

All boys are mean.Dennis needs

guidance.

I just can’t protect her.

We learn from challenges.

She’s so sensitive. Poor thing.

I’ll teach her assertiveness

training.

AFTER SCHOOL END OF THE DAY

While attitude is not really everything, attitude does make a huge difference in the outcome of our everyday lives.


Many Thanks to Families of the Year Sponsors- Benefactors -

• Marin Sanitary Service • Marinscope Community Newspapers • John T. Smith, D.D.S.

- Leaders-• Anna Chandler Photography • Good Earth Natural and Organic Foods

• Marintellect Consulting • Summit State Bank • Westamerica Bank• Union Bank

- Patrons -• Bank of Marin Community Fund • Montecito Plaza • PMB+Helin Donovan

Families of the Year GalaFriday, October 15th, 2010, 6:00 to 9:30 p.m.

The Next Key Center 1399 N. Hamilton Parkway, Novato

Families of the Year Honorees and Honored Agencies The Beltran Family - Golden Gate Regional Center

The Roth-Fennell Family - Marin YMCA

The Arteaga Family - Marin Community Clinic

The Riviore Family - Big Brothers/Big Sisters of the North Bay

Family Friendly Business of the Year Accuchex - Jim and Leslie RuhlandAPPLE FamilyWorks honors four families who are models of resilience and courage, and we honor four non-profit agencies and one business for their outstanding work on behalf of families.


Positive Reinforcement - A Proactive Intervention!

In some families, the lazy days of summer (not that parents have any!) meant that the rules and demands on the kids got a little looser. But now, as everyone heads back into the hectic schedule and pressures of school and a more demanding routine, some parents anticipate with dread what they think is inevitable – struggling to get the kids back into line. “Johnny, finish your homework or there’s no TV for you tonight.” “Suzie, clean your room up or I’ll take your phone away.” “Jimmy, you’re so lazy. Put the trash out or you’re grounded for the weekend.” But, it doesn’t have to be a battle of wills – not if you

Punishment/ Negative Reinforcement

Positive Reinforcement

Isoftenunrelatedtothenegativebehavior,moreseverethannecessary,anddeliveredwhentheparentisinanangrystateofmind.

Focusesonthespecificbehaviorthattheparentwantstoseerepeatedandisdeliveredinacalmstateofmind.

Setsupresistancetochangeand/orhostilecompliance,andtheneedtogeteven.

Assumescooperationandleavesthechildfeelingpositiveabouthim/herselfwithaninterestincontinuingtocooperate.

Focusesthechildontheparentenforcingthepunishmentandthefairnessoftheconsequenceratherthanthebehavior.

Focusesthechildonhis/herbehaviorandthepositiverewardassociatedwithdoingit.

Stopsnegativebehaviorinthemoment.However,thenegativebehaviorreturns,especiallyiftheenforcingparentisn’tpresent.

Actsasamotivatorandresultsinrepetitionofthepositivebehavior,independentoftheparent’spresence.

Stimulatesthepartofthebrain–inbothparentandchild–thatrespondstodangerandignitesthefight/flightresponse.

Stimulatestheexecutivepartofthebrain–inbothparentandchild–whereproblem-solvingandsolution-focusedthinkingtakesplace.

Isoftenharsh,disrespectfulandshaming,whichdamagesthechild’sself-esteem.

Leavesachildfeelingpositiveabouthim/herself,which,inturn,isthebasisofself-confidenceandindependence.

bring in more positive reinforcement.Positive reinforcement is simple: “Catch” your chil-

dren doing something right and let them know. It works because it focuses the child’s attention on his/her positive behaviors rather than distracting them with the possible negative outcomes for NOT doing the right thing. And, positive reinforcement bolsters self-esteem, enabling kids to believe in themselves as capable and terrific people.

To drive this idea home, let’s compare positive rein-forcement with punishment/negative consequences:

Patricia Saunders, MA, MFT is a licensed Marriage & Family Therapist specializing in families, parenting, and co-parenting. She is the Director of Therapeutic Programs at APPLE FamilyWorks. Call (415) 492-0720 to make an appointment for counseling services.

Positive reinforcement is simple: “Catch”

your children doing something

right and let them know.


Following are some tips for using one especially effective positive reinforcer – praise:

Make praise specific: It is important that your child knows specifi-cally what you liked about the behavior. “Good job” is positive, but it doesn’t help with repetition of the behavior because it lacks specificity – what does “good” mean? A more specific praise, “I love the way you put all your clothes in the hamper,” really makes it clear what you liked and what you want your child to repeat.

Keep praise “pure”: This is one that a lot of parents are unaware that they do. The say something great, “I am proud of the ‘A’ you got in geometry. But look at that ‘C’ in English.” Try not to “but” in. When giving praise, let it stand alone so the impact is powerful and believable.

Let praise plant seeds: Children take in everything you say about them and it sinks deep into their psyche. Take some time to identify the qualities that you would like to see in your child as an adult. If, for example, you would like your child to be a helpful, creative, patient, and thoughtful adult, then, when you praise him/her, tuck in a little “idea” for their future:

• “Thank you for feeding the dog.That was really helpful of you.”

• “You are really good at drawing! You are a very creative kid!”

• “You waited so quietly in line this morning. You are very patient.” • “Thank you for sharing your sandwich with your sister. You are so thoughtful.”

Reinforce quickly and consistently: Delays in rewarding the posi-tive behavior will have no effect. This means that you have to put in the extra time to observe our child, but it will pay off in the future. To avoid confusion about which behaviors you value, it is critical that parents reinforce immediately and that they are consistent about what constitutes appropriate behavior.

It is important to note that positive reinforcement is not just about praise. A reinforcer can be anything that makes the behavior’s rate increase. No two kids are alike and what works with one child will not necessarily impact another. Therefore, it will be important to personalize the reinforcers to the child’s temperament, age, and the situation.

Positive reinforcement is a tried and tested method that works throughout our lives! Positive reinforcement inspires, motivates, and enhances self-esteem. Everyone needs to hear they’re on track and doing well, so spread it around. And, speaking of positive reinforcement, I just caught you doing something right…you read this article from beginning to end!! Congratulations!!

Treat people as

if they were what

they ought to

be and you help

them become

what they are

capable of being.Johann Wolfing von Goethe


New Head of School Sees Bright FutureDespite State Budget Crisis

In the Bay area, concerned parents have an alternative. Dunham Acad-emy, located in North San Rafael, draws students from Marin as well as Napa, Alameda, San Francisco, Con-tra Costa and Sonoma counties. The school’s enrollment has increased by 400% and newly appointed head of school Mike Orlando sees bigger things to come.

Orlando notes that California already has among the lowest state funding for gifted students in the country. “Often the assumption is that gifted kids don’t need any extra help, but that’s a myth,” says Orlando, “In fact, children whose so-cial/emotional needs are not met – as is very often the case for gifted kids in school environments not set up for

them – frequently underachieve ac-ademically.”

And, s ince there has never been a fed-

eral law requiring special programs for gifted kids, they tend to be overlooked. “Of the three million K-12 students identified as gifted nationwide, 80 percent do not receive instruction geared to their needs and interests, resulting in a dropout rate of 5 to 20 percent,” wrote Educa-tion Week ‘s Walt Gardner recently. “This constitutes an appalling waste of talent.”

“Parents who are aware their child is gifted usually also realize they need a more challenging and indi-vidualized curriculum to meet their potential,” says Orlando, a Sausalito resident who officially began his position as Dunham’s new Head of School on Aug. 21.

“The research shows gifted chil-dren thrive, both socially and aca-demically, when they are grouped together with their cognitive and age peers,” says Victoria Talkington,

By Amy Logan

As programs for Gifted and Talented Education (GATE) across California fall victim to the state budget crisis, many parents of gifted children worry that their children will become bored in traditional classrooms.

Parents who are aware their child is gifted usually also realize they need a more challenging and individualized curriculum to meet their potential.


What To Do If You Suspect Your Child Is Gifted Get them tested. Using multiple sources to test for giftedness is the best solution. Public schools are supposed to test based on parent request or teacher recommendation, but parents often must do a lot of persuading to make this happen, says Bryan Peariso, teacher at Marin County’s only school for the gifted, Dunham Academy. “The test may or may not prove useful to shed light on giftedness, but it might be worth it for people who can’t afford to pay a private psychologist to do a testing session. Otherwise, public schools often don’t test until about the third grade. That can be a long time to wait for many gifted children.” On the other hand, private schools for the gifted often test kids as young as four.

Learn as much as you can about giftedness:

http://www.hoagiesgifted.org/table_of_contents.htm

http://www.gifteddevelopment.com/

http://www.davidsongifted.org/

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Giftedness

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gifted_education

Encourage your gifted child. Teach them that it is okay if they feel different.

Investigate educational opportunities: In the Bay area, your options for gifted education are:

Grades Pre-/K-8: Dunham Academy (San Rafael); Nueva School (Hillsborough); Synapse Institute (Palo Alto); Baywood Learning Center (Oakland)

Grades K-3: Helios New School (Palo Alto)

Grades 6-8: Odyssey School for the Gifted (San Mateo)

Grades 9-12: online high schools:Laureate School for the Gifted and Talented; The Education Program for Gifted Youth (EPGY) at Stanford University

Home schooling

GATE programs in public schools, which have been drastically cut.

Feed their hunger for knowledge and stimulation.Support them outside of school:

Take them places – museums, lectures, the park, zoo, etc., whatever fits their interest.

Sign them up for extracurricular activities – art, music, sports, dance, chess club, math circle, etc.

Play challenging board games with the family – chess, Scrabble, Boggle, 25 Words or Less, Cranium, Mastermind, etc. New ones come out all the time.

Read as a family. Model reading. Read aloud to the kids. Expose them to great books. Have them read to you. Get them a library card and go regularly.

Support writing at home: in a journal, to a pen pal, to grandma and grandpa, stories to be made into a book, etc.

Watch and discuss interesting and/or educational movies and TV. Netflix has all kinds of interesting videos. Watch shows on history, science, even math.

SchoolSpotlight

Chairman of Dunham Academy’s Board of Trustees. Dunham also provides other ben-efits designed for gifted children including customized, self-paced curriculum, small classes (12 students max), no “busy work” and fully integrated “units of inquiry” that explore a specific theme and incorporate learning across subject disciplines through-out the year.

“As our new Head of School, Mike brings to the table a solid background in best practices for gifted education and, at the same time, he connects quickly with gifted children,” says

Talkington. “We have the best of both worlds.”

Orlando is serving in his seventh year with Summer Institute for the Gifted, where he is site director at the UC Berkeley Campus program. He was a member of the Board of Trustees of the Aurora School in Oakland and served for six years as a sixth grade humani-ties teacher at the Presidio Hill School in San Francisco. Most recently, he has been both an academic tutor and the founding officer of a youth-inspired non-profit that finances the construction of schools in Kenya.

For information call 415-491-4700 or e-mail to [email protected]

10 September & October, �010 www.familyworks.org

John T. Smith, DDS915 Sir Francis Drake Blvd., San Anselmo

(Across from Red Hill Shopping Center)

415-453-1666

Family Dental CareNEED A LOAN NOW?Tired of hearing ‘No” from the banks?

WE CAN HELP YOU!1-866-807-1363Bad Credit Welcomed

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September & October, �010 11www.familyworks.org

Child-Centered Co-ParentingParents who are living apart learn how to raise their children harmoniously, keep children “out of the middle” and safely in each of their lives. Parents attend separate classes and learn to:

• Deal with each other respectfully

• Increase cooperation

• Make co-parenting decisions calmly

• Divide child-rearing tasks equitably

• Manage constantly shifting schedules

• Stop tantrums and dawdling

• Design consequences that work

• End rudeness & backtalk

Seven Tuesday evenings: Sept. 14 - Oct. 26, 2010Earn a certificate of completion at graduation.

P o s i t i v e& P e a c e f u l ParentingLearn Keys to Increasing:• Cooperation • Self-esteem • Responsibilty• Communication • Respect • Discipline

Viewing Life Today• Being a Proactive Parent • Identifying Your Universal Principles

Growing Great Kids• Understanding How Kids Work • Ensuring Goodness of Fit• Making Work Fun

Listening and Talking• Listening Effectively• Decreasing Impulsive Behavior

Problem Solving that Gets Results• Using the Magical “When...Then”• Designing Charts that Get Results• Revamping “Time Out”

Feeling More Confident• Being Positive and Persistent• Sharing Successes• Setting Positive Consequences

Four Tuesday evenings:Oct. 5-26, 2010Earn a certificate of completion at graduation.

Parenting Programs

www.familyworks.org 415-492-0720

Therapy and Life Skills Center

ExploringMotherhoodFor Expectant & New Mothers (and infants birth to 9 months).Spanish speaking group: Tuesdays, 10 a.m. to noon at Marin Community Clinic in Novato.English and Spanish speaking groups Thursdays 10 AM to Noon at Marin Community Clinic in San Rafael. • Share experiences, ideas, and support

• Learn about pregnancy and new parenthood

• Learn how to increase infant health & happiness

• Learn ways to manage change and decrease stress

• Reduce anxiety and depression

Free!

1� September & October, �010 www.familyworks.org


Family Therapy and CouplesCounseling Concerns, hopes and dreams, as well as practical and effective relationship tools are explored. The result is increased understanding and empathy, more cooperation and more fun in family life through:

• Managing Child Behavior• Resolving Hurts and Conflicts• Dealing with Anxiety, Depression and Addictions• Sharing Child Rearing • Planning for Play• Managing Anger• Creating Cooperative Responsible Children

AssessmentUsing temperament profiles and developmental assessments, parents and children will learn positive skills and design behavior plans that maximize each child’s potential. Therapists consult with teachers and parents, developing behavioral interventions that work at home, play and school. Therapists are available to make home-visits, school observations and attend IEP meetings. Mental health screenings for anxiety, depression, AD/HD, etc. are available.

IndividualUtilizing a variety of theoretical approaches, FamilyWorks’ therapists help individuals to develop healthy life skills and increase their social-emotional well being. We are skilled in helping with a broad range of relationship and psychological issues, including:• Life Stage Transitions• Anxiety• Abuse• Depression• Anger & Conflict• Improved Self-Esteem• Grief & Loss• Stress

Therapy with ChildrenWith a wide variety of child-centered expressive arts, includingspecialized sand-tray materials, children bring their thoughts and emotions to the surface allowing the child to build self-esteem and enhance emotional regulation.

Therapy with TeensFamilyWorks’ skilled therapists work with adolescents to support their journey to adulthood. Using various forms of expressive arts therapy, interactive play/exercises and outdoor activities, teens find new ways to resolve problems, build greater self-esteem and enhance their social skills in ways that support their healthy growth and development.

www.familyworks.org 415-492-0720Adjustable Fees

Therapy Programs

September & October, �010 1�www.familyworks.org


Therapy and Life Skills CenterFamily Interactive Therapy

F. I.T Services:When Family members want to improve communication and learn problem solving skills, Family Interactive Therapy at FamilyWorks, offers a unique program.

Family Meeting

Individual Counseling

Initially the parents share concerns with their therapist, followed by an opportunity for the entire family to set and meet their goals. Then, individual family members may be interviewed. An action plan is designed to meet the needs of each individual and the entire family.

Families may choose to benefit from the one way mirror option, in which child development assessments are made and family members can practice the skills they are learning with the assistance of a FamilyWorks Therapist. Parents may receive guidance through an ear bud as the therapist observes interactions through the one-way mirror.

One-way Mirror Option


Support for Individuals with Developmental Disabilities

Independent Living Skills

Parenting Support Services



CPR & First Aid Classes

• Parenting and Co-Parenting

• Childbirth Education

• Child Development and Family Planning

• Behavior Management and Stress Reduction

• Early Intervention in Postpartum Depression

• Positive and Peaceful Discipline

• Family Health Promotion and Hygiene

• Injury Prevention, Nutrition, and Exercise

• Household Management, and Transportation

• Financial Management and Budgeting

• Development of Social Support Systems

• Linkage with Others Services

• Academic Growth

• Behavior Management

• Stress Reduction Skills

• Injury Prevention

• Nutrition

• Health Promotion and Exercise

• Hygiene and Self-care

• Housekeeping

• Transportation Skills

• Community Access

• Employment Readiness

• Financial Management and Budgeting

• Development of Social Support Systems

Saturday, July 17

CPR - 9:30 AM to 1:00 PMFirst Aid - 1:15 to 4 PM

Learn infant, child and adult choke-saving and CPR and how to apply these skills in emergencies. You will have

hands-on practice, receive a CPR skill book and a National Safety Council Certification upon completion.


Companion animals aren’t used to the door-bell-ringing, costumed creatures and general hus-tle-and-bustle that come into our homes at this time of year.

“For your pet’s comfort and safety, the best thing that you can do is to make sure that they have a stress-free holiday,” according to Adam Goldfarb, director of the “Pets at Risk” program for the Humane Society of the United States. “The noises, smells and people can be overwhelming for many pets on Halloween, so create a safe haven in one room of your home where they can quietly relax.”

To help keep pets safe and happy this Halloween, the HSUS recommends the following tips:

Keep your pets safely indoors, away from trick-or-treaters and other Halloween activities.

Make sure that all of your pets are wearing tags with cur-rent ID. Opening the door repeatedly for trick-or-treaters creates plenty of escape opportunities.

Keep candy out of your pets’ reach. Chocolate and other ingredients can be toxic to them.

Most pets are happiest wearing nothing but their birthday suit, but if you do choose a costume for your pet, forgo masks and make sure costumes are comfortable and do not pose a risk for injury.

Decorations can be dangerous, so be sure to keep them safely away from pets. Candle flames can set fire to a pet’s fur. Hanging or dangling decorations can be an entanglement or choking hazard to some animals.

Use fake cobwebs sparingly, if at all. Pets can choke on fake cobwebs set up indoors. Outdoors, fake webs may be a hazard to birds and wildlife.

When going out trick-or-treating, leave your dog at home. Dogs can be easily excited by the Halloween commotion and a dog bite or lost dog will quickly end the evening’s fun.

Tips To make Halloween More Enjoyable For Your Pets

Don’t forget about wildlife on Halloween, either. Noc-turnal animals, such as raccoons, opossums and foxes will be out looking for food. If you come across a wild animal

While Halloween can be a good time for children and adults alike, the Humane Society of the United States is reminding pet ownersthat this hauntingholiday may be tooscary for your pet.

continued on page 23


A key finding in that study shows that at-risk children who can self-regulate have higher reading, math and vocabulary achievement.

The study was conducted by then-Oregon State University graduate student Michaella Sektnan, who did the research as her master’s thesis working with Megan McClelland, an associate professor at OSU and a nationally recognized leader in the areas of self-regulation and early childhood development. Sektnan is now a faculty research assistant for OSU Extension Family and Com-munity Health.

In her paper to be published in a fall edition of Early Childhood Research Quarterly, Sektnan used data on 1,298 children from birth through the first grade from the National Institute of Child Health and Human Develop-

Can Teaching Self Regulation Help Close the Achievement Gap?

ment (NICHD) Study of Early Child Care and Youth Development. “Fam-ily risk” in the data was defined by ethnic minority status, low maternal education, low family income and chronic depressive symptoms in the mother.

“We know that these risk fac-tors can lead to a gap in academic achievement,” Sektnan said. “The relationship to risks such as poverty, ethnic status, and maternal education has been well-documented. What we wanted to know was, controlling for these factors, does self-regulation make a difference?”

It turns out the answer to that ques-tion is yes. Controlling for these risk factors, by identifying them for each of the families in the study and pay-ing particular attention to the results of at risk children, Sektnan found that children whose parents and teachers reported that they had strong

A new study adds to the mounting evidence that self-regulation – or children’s ability to control their behavior and impulses – is directly related to academic performance and help young, at risk and disadvantaged students close the academic achievement gap between themselves and upper middle class students.

By Angela Yeager

Self-regulationEducationBegins at Homeby Lew Tremaine

As parents and early educators digest the notion that children who know how to regulate their emotions do better aca-demicly, an obvious conclusion is that teaching self-regulation skills should be part of the pre-school and kindergar-ten curicula. And surely, the results of the Sektnan/McClelland Study make a strong case for self-regulation educa-tion in early childhood settiings.

But it is as important to recognize that children of parents who lack self-regulation skills are at a great disad-vantage when it comes to learning to control their emotions.

The truth is, success in any social en-deavor - especially parenting - hinges on one’s ability to stay calm in a heated or uncomfortable moment. Hence, self-regulation is the cornerstone of many parenting classes.

Early childhood educators, while addressing the regulation skills of the children in their care, would do well to look for resources that provide the parents they serve with opportunities to learn the same skills. Just like math and reading, home support for practice of regulation skils is vital to mastery.

Parents of young children who are prone to melt-downs or who freeze up in stressful situations would do well to consider their own coping skills.

APPLE FamilyWorks offers con-sultation to preschools on a variety of behavior issues through its ACTT program. The agency also offers a class for parents, Positive and Peaceful Parenting, which focuses on teach-ing self-regulation skills to parents so they can teach them to their children. Please see page 11 and 12 of this is-sue for more information or call (415) 492-0720 with questions.


self-regulation in preschool and kin-dergarten did significantly better on math, reading and vocabulary at the end of first grade.

“For all outcomes, higher self-regulation was related to higher read-ing, math and vocabulary, regardless of which risk factor was present,” Sektnan said. “This builds on the increasing body of knowledge about the need to develop self-regulation skills in young children.”

To give an example, McClelland points to the test scores of the chil-dren in this national survey. At-risk children with stronger self-regula-tion in kindergarten scored 15 points higher on a standardized math test in first grade, 11 points higher on an early reading test, and nearly seven points higher on a vocabulary test than at-risk children with weaker self-regulation.

“These were pretty impressive in-creases in children’s achievement,” McClelland said. “I’m a proponent of building self-regulation in children but even for me, these results were surprising. The discrepancy between these children, tested at a very young age, and their academic scores com-pared to their peers who were not as able to regulate their behavior was larger than we anticipated.”

McClelland, who has developed simple games such as the Head-to-

Toes task to measure self-regulation and predict academic achievement, said it is obvious that in the case of at-risk chil-dren, merely focusing on self-regulation skills won’t be enough.

“Obviously, these issues – poverty, educational status, maternal depression – are extremely serious and must be ad-dressed,” she said.

In addition to the above social factors, individual temperament traits are also an important consideration and should be addressed when assessing a young student’s true self-regulation skills and academic readiness. Children who are assessed in the higher ranges for the temperament traits of activity, intensity and persistence are at risk of having their self-regulation skills or academic readi-ness underestimated. This is particularly true in situations where the learning en-vironment is not a good fit for children with these temperament traits.

Temperament is often overlooked in academic assessment and was not spe-cifically factored or controlled for in the Sektnan/McClelland Study. However, some temperament related traits were observed to assess the children’s regula-tion skills. Ability to focus (distractibil-ity), and ability to stay on task (persis-tence) were used as measurements. Also, considered was inhibitory control. These factors were observed and reported at 54 months-old by both parents and teachers using subscales from the Child Behavior

Questionaire (CBQ;Rothbart, Ahadi, Hershey, &Fisher, 2001).

“We now know that we can also help children be successful by teach-ing them how to self-regulate,” Mc-Clelland concluded

McClelland added that the data is clearer now than ever: a child that can listen, pay attention, follow in-structions, and persist on a task, even if faced with what seems to be giant hurdles at a very young age, will achieve greater success in school.

“Self-regulation is not just about compliance or being obedient,” Mc-Clelland said. “It’s about a very basic, but very necessary skill: being able to listen and pay attention, think, and then act. The message to parents may be to put down the flash cards and see if another approach, like playing a simple game of ‘Simon Says’ works better.”

Alan Acock of OSU and Freder-

ick Morrison of the University of Michigan assisted on this study, which included funding support from the National Institute of Child and Hu-man Development and the National Science Foundation.

Temperament discussion added by FamilyWorks’ Magazine Editor, Lew Tremaine.

It is obvious that in the case of at-risk children, merely focusing on self-regulation skills won’t be enough...poverty, educational status, maternal

depression – are extremely serious and must be addressed.


By Jessica Dore

Don’t Panic!As parents, we love

our kids so much that

we dread that fateful

call— the teacher calling

to report that your

child is misbehaving,

underachieving or that

they should be tested for

ADHD. Don’t panic. Dr.

Lara Honos-Webb, author

of The Gift of ADHD (2nd

Ed.) knows just how to

handle the situation.

Be Aware of Your Child’s EnvironmentExplore contexts that are explanations for the behavior, like ex-ternal stressors. Consider any relevant changes in your family in terms of finances, physical and mental health issues, or other significant factors. Also take into account nutritional factors: too much sugar and skipping breakfast are both linked to dif-ficulty concentrating.

Seek SolutionsAsk the teacher, “What are we going to do to support her?” Children need to learn how to learn and every stumbling block in education is not brain dysfunction. Your child may simply need repetition, practice of basic skills, and coaching to excel in school.

Consider That Your ChildMay Not be the ProblemSometimes our children’s learning style and profile of strengths and weaknesses mean that they need accommoda-tions. While changing schools may not be an option, you can still protect your child’s passion and motivation by encourag-ing her to pursue those things that draw their attention.

ADHD Diagnosis? by Jessica Dore


Dr. Lara Honos-Webb is a licensed clinical psychologist based in California who specializes in the treatment of ADHD. Her work has been featured in Newsweek, Wall Street Journal, Publisher’s Weekly and many newspapers across the country. She is the author of The Gift of ADHD, The Gift of ADHD Activity Book, Listening to Depression and more than twenty-five scholarly articles.

Be a Good ListenerWhen a child has a conflict with a teacher or class-mates, our first approach should be to listen to the child’s complaints. Consider that some teachers may not be the best fit for your child, and likewise for classmates. Bullying does happen, and it has proven long-term consequences. Ask your child how she sees the problem, listen, and take it seriously.

Define Abnormal“In active boys, it is completely normal for them to display some rambunctious behavior,” says Dr. Ho-nos-Webb. There are tons of creative ways to channel physical energy, and allowing productive release of such energy can alleviate or even eliminate many so-called problems.

Look Within“Your child receives emotional nourishment from her parents, so if you are having trouble, she may be taking in your emotional pain,” says Dr. Honos-Webb.

Be an OptimistA child’s strengths can be a resource for patch-ing up a weakness. Focus on the positive attri-butes commonly found in children with ADHD: Creativity, emotional sensitivity, exuberance, interpersonal intuition, and connection to nature. Creating a list of your child’s many gifts before returning a teacher’s phone call, or going into a parent-teacher meeting may help you maintain a positive outlook.

Translate “Symptoms” into “Needs”Be an advocate for your child’s unique needs. For example, hyperactivity is a need for physical activity. “When your child’s teacher points to a problem, think about ways to translate it into a specific need that can be met with support from you and the school,” says Dr. Honos-Webb.

Remember: The Call From theTeacher is Not a DiagnosisThere are many factors that may contribute to your child’s difficulty concentrating or disruptive behavior in class. Contrary to increasingly popular belief, ADHD should be the last possible explanation explored, not the first.

�0 September & October, �010 www.familyworks.org

Music Together of Marin Announces New Co-Directors and Locations

Beth Crespan, has announced that her popular early-child-hood music educa-tion program, Music Together of Marin, has a new co-direc-tor, Meredith Heller. Together, Crespan

and Heller will be growing the busi-ness in new directions. “Working together as a team will allow us to collaborate creatively to bring more energy to the program’s offerings and reach even more families,” says Crespan, founder and director of the Marin music program.

In addition to locations in San An-selmo, Ross, Corte Madera and Mill Valley, this fall, Crespan and Heller

In addition to locations in San Anselmo, Ross, Corte Madera and Mill Valley, this fall, Crespan and Heller will be opening three new Marin locations in Central San Rafael, Terra Linda, and Tiburon. The public is invited to attend free demonstration classes the week of September 6th.

will be opening three new Marin loca-tions in Central San Rafael, Terra Linda, and Tiburon. The public is invited to attend free demonstration classes the week of September 6th.

Music Together is a family music education program for infants, toddlers, preschoolers and their families and care-givers. “The goal is to share music with families so they can bring the music back home,” says Crespan. Music Together classes are forty-five minutes long and include an artistically conceived flow of songs, nursery rhymes, instrumental jam sessions, finger-plays, and move-ment activities. The combination and types of activities are research-based and support children to develop the ability to naturally sing in tune and keep a beat. Class activities evolve from the child’s

(Infant - 4.5 years)

®

415.456.6630

September & October, �010 �1www.familyworks.org

world and include vocal play, rhythm play, animal sounds, and a good bit of genuine, silly fun. “I’m always inspired and learning new ways to

engage families with the won-derful collec-tions of Music Together songs and activities,” says Crespan. “I feel as enthu-siastic today as

I did in the beginning teaching this program.”

Children and adults sing and dance together in mixed-ages classes, play-ing percussive and tonal instruments (including bells, sticks, shakers), and experimenting with props such as scarves, streamers and parachutes. Teachers model live music making by playing a range of instruments in class, from guitars to violins to flutes. Music Together of Marin’s families often form an intimate community in class, and many stay to-gether through the program’s three-year cycle of nine rotating collections of original and tra-ditional music.

Families take home recorded CDs and songbooks so they can become familiar with the music used in class. Music Together collections feature a global array of instruments, tonalities and rhythms in each 25-song record-ing. “It’s a fantastic vocabulary of music to share with children,” says Crespan.

A former p r e s c h o o l teacher, per-former, and early child-hood music s p e c i a l i s t , Crespan was Marin’s first

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Music Together teacher and director. She started her program with a single class in Mill Valley in 1998. Thirteen years later, her program has evolved to serve over 400 Marin families in four locations throughout Marin includ-ing a Music Together Studio in San Anselmo.

Heller, a performing singer/song-writer, poet, holistic body-worker, and educator, is a new and passionate certified Music Together teacher. She

has master’s degrees in education and writing and served as Poet-in-Resi-dence in the alternative high schools in Boulder, CO for five years. “Teaching Music Together allows me to engage all the best parts of myself, share the joy of music, and work with children, which is a gift in my life,” says Heller.

To register visit www.MusicTogeth-erofMarin.com for more information or call (415) 456-6630.

�� September & October, �010 www.familyworks.org

The German Language School of Marin We provide students with affordable, yet highly qualified instruction about the language, customs, history and culture of German speaking countries. Classes are given on Saturdays from 9:30 am - 12:00 noon and are open to anyone interested in learning German. www.germanschoolmarin.com

Lycée Français La PérouseThe only full French immersion school from PK through 12th grade in San Francisco and Marin (Corte Madera). A strong English program complements the authentic curriculum established by the French Ministry of Education. Our college preparatory school is ideal for engaged and active learners, ready to become multi-lingual world citizens. Open House: Nov 9. www.lelycee.org.

Marin Country Day School is a warm, inclusive, diverse community guided by core values of respect, responsibility and compassion. Children develop into excellent learners and good people through a broad-based, highly participatory curriculum. The vibrant spirit of all involved engage to make MCDS a

good place for children. Primary points of entry are at kindergarten and grade 6. www.mcds.org.

Marin Waldorf SchoolPre-K through 8th grade. Our curriculum provides a rigorous academic education including foreign languages, arts, music, movement,

2010 School Directory

September & October, �010 ��www.familyworks.org

2010 School Directoryand community festivals. Our program fosters critical thinking, emotional and social intelligence, and physical activity. Marin County’s only accredited Waldorf School. Open House November 6th 10am – noon. (415) 479-8190 x 102. www.marinwaldorf.org

The Mountain Schoolprovides quality, play-based care for preschoolers and Kindergartners in a cozy setting with dedicated, highly qualified teachers. Imaginative play, practical tasks, and rain-or-shine outdoor time alternate with stories, songs, and wholesome snacks. After these happy days “just being kids” our children, we’re told, go home singing! www.themountainschool.net

San Domenico SchoolParents: Have you ever felt forced to choose between a competitive

SAN DOMENICO

while out trick-or-treating, your best bet is to keep your distance (and keep your pets away from wild animals, too). And though bats are classically associ-ated with Halloween, those in colder climates will most likely be hibernating at this time of year.

Paying heed to the tips above, we can all work together to keep our be-loved pets and our wild neighbors safe this Halloween.

The Humane Society of the United States is the nation’s largest animal protection organization — backed by 11 million Americans, or one of every 28. For more than a half-century, The HSUS has been fighting for the protec-tion of all animals through advocacy, education and hands-on programs. Celebrating animals and confronting cruelty — On the web at www.humane-society.org.

Halloween and Petscontinued from page 15

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school and a supportive one? At San Domenico School we don’t see a necessary distinction between high-achieving students and happy, well-balanced children. Find out more by touring our beautiful San Anselmo campus. Call 415-298-1905 or go to www.sandomenico.org/visit

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date: 09-1015 client: Good Earth Organic & Natural Foods job number: GE315409 title: Color Logo Reversed description: 4/C size: vendor: proofread: notes: Penumbra Semibold Flare font converted to paths USE ON BLACK OR COLOR ONLY

creative dir: Tom Foerstel designer: Darcy Joslin production: Darcy Joslin phone: 208.287.4475 email: [email protected]

foerstel249 South 16th StreetBoise, Idaho 83702208.345.6656foerstel.com

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NATURAL & ORGANIC FOODS

October isGMO Education

MonthJoin Good Earth in Celebratingthe first everNON-GMO Day andNON-GMO MonthGood Earth is proud to announce its participation in 10.10.10, a day to celebrate a consumer’s right to choose non-GMO, raise awareness about the issue, and promote products that are Non-GMO Project Verified.

“Good Earth is very concerned with health issues associated with consuming a diet containing GMO foods. We support the Non-GMO Project in its commitment to helping ensure we can to grow foods free from GMO contamination.”

– Mark Squire, Good Earth President and Non-GMO Project Board Member

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FWM 2010 09 and 10