Friendship Development

KNR 253

SK Opinion…

One of the most important things we can do

One of the most critical areas of Leisure Education

Perhaps even more important than Leisure Awareness, Leisure Resources, & Leisure Activity Skills

Not programmed as much as the other areas

Social Interaction Skills(Leisure Ability Model: Stumbo & Peterson, 2009)

Communication skills

Relationship-building skills

Self-presentation skills

Communication Skills: Skills that enable someone to communicate with others (p. 51)

Assertiveness skills Negotiation, disagreement, conflict, &

compromise skills Conversation skills

Introducing self & othersAsking questionsResponding

Communication Skills: Skills that enable someone to communicate with others (p. 51)

Active listening skills & responsive behavior

Receptive skillsReading body language

Expressing feelings & thoughts Information-seeking & information-

giving skills Empathy & perspective-taking skills

Self-Presentation Skills: Social etiquette rules (p. 52)

Politeness, etiquette, manners, taking turns, sharing, etc.

Hygiene, health, & grooming skills Appropriate attire & dressing Responsibility for self care

Relationship-Building Skills: Assist people in locating, maintaining, & developing friendships & other relationships (p. 51-52)

Greeting & initiating…locating leisure partners

Friendship development skills Self-disclosure & privacy issues Cooperative & competitive skills Negotiation & compromise skills Developing & maintaining social networks Reciprocal social support

Expressing care & concern for others

Facilitating Friendships

2006 National Institute on Recreation InclusionSandra Klitzing, Ph.D., CTRS

Friendships in General

ABC’s of FriendshipWhat is a friend?Someone who...

Friendships in General: Definition

Mutual involvement between 2 people that is characterized by affection, satisfaction, enjoyment, openness, respect, and a sense of feeling important to the other.

• Lawhon, 1997

Does 1 size of friendship fit all?

Does 1 size of friendship fit all?

Age

Gender

Ethnicity

Circle of Friends

Best friends Good friends Acquaintances you play

with People who are paid to be in your life

Friendships and People with Disabilities

Suggestions for Friendship Development: Program Ideas

ChildrenWork with parents to arrange play

datesHelp select peers with similar interestsUse staff to facilitate play dates at

home of child with disability• Koegel et al., 2005

Suggestions for Friendship Development: Program Ideas

Teens Include teens with disabilities in existing teen

recreation programs

Collaborate with general recreators or educators to design inclusive teen programs

Design programs that facilitate reverse inclusion

Suggestions for Friendship Development: Program Ideas

Friendship programHow to build friendshipsHow to maintain friendshipsWhy friendships endWhat you can do to reconnect

Suggestions for Friendship Development: Special Events

International Friendship DayFirst Sunday of August

A time to recognize friends

Suggestions for Friendship Development: Activities

Music Videos Art Friendship bracelets Friendship mobile Friendship poem

Suggestions for Friendship Development: Facilitation Techniques Preschool

Turtle technique• Fold arms and use words to say angry

Floor time with adults and peers• Burton & Denham, 1998

Suggestions for Friendship Development: Facilitation Techniques Children

Peer-support committees• Spencer, 1999

Prevent adult interference MAPS Support clusters (formal & informal support)

• Turnbull et al., 2000

Program directories• Searcy, 1996

Suggestions for Friendship Development: Facilitation Techniques Be aware of isolation Design cooperative activities Divide participants into smaller groups Provide for a small area of

participation Choose interactive materials &

equipment Serve as connector & reconnector

Suggestions for Friendship Development: Environmental Clues Bulletin board Posters Others????

Facebook: Implications for Therapeutic Recreation

Sandra Wolf Klitzing, Ph.D., CTRS

ILRTA Central Region Workshop

Urbana, IL

March 10, 2009

More than 175 million active users worldwide Number 1 social network, followed by Myspace & Twitter Each user spends an average of 25 minutes/day Each user has an average of 150-200 friends

Learning Objectives

Explore social networking / Facebook Explore implications for TR

ConnectionPromotionPrograms

• Discuss the importance of social networking on friendships

• Identify skills and precautions our participants need to safely use social network sites

Social Networking Defined

A broad class of websites and services that allow you to connect with friends, family, and colleagues online

Interactive communication in which participants share thoughts, photos, etc. with members of their own personal networks

2004 Started in February Initially only Harvard students Later expanded to any university student

2005 Expanded to high school students

2006 Open to anyone with valid e-mail address Must be 13 years or older

Wikipedia, 2008

Facebook Used To…

Maintain relationships Update others about activities &

whereabouts Share photos Get updates on what friends are doing Coordinate activities “Phatic” communication

No real information Hope you are doing fine

• Dwyer, Hiltz, & Passerini, 2007

Rationale for Programs(Professional)

Leisure Ability ModelRelationship-building skills

• Addresses skills that help people develop and maintain friendships

Nontraditional leisure skills• Computer & internet activities

• Stumbo & Peterson, 2004

Rationale for Programs(Friendship)

What are the benefits of friendship? To you To adolescents and young adults with disabilities

What is a social network? Number Function

What are the social networks of adolescents or young adults with disabilities like? Impact of inclusive education After graduation

Rationale for Programs(Friendship)

“Perhaps more than any other aspect of development, friendships are an expression of a person’s inclusion in the community.”

• Guralnick, Conner & Hammond, 1995 as quoted inDattilo, 1999

Rationale for Programs(Social Capital)

Resources accumulated through relationships with others

Coleman, 1988

Bridging social capitalLoose connections between people who can give information or new perspectivesTypically not emotional support

Bonding social capitalFound in tight-knit, emotionally close relationships, such as family & close friends

Putnam, 2000

Rationale for Programs(Social Capital)

Maintained social capital Allows people to keep in touch with social

networks after changes• Graduate, move, life changes

Research and Facebook Strong bridging and maintained social capital Weaker bonding social capital

• Ellison, Steinfield, & Lampe, 2007

People with Disabilities and Social Networking Removes problems of transportation &

physical access Removes communication barriers Decreases isolation Affords communication between people with

the same disability Keeps in touch with friends Builds confidence in social aspects due to

interaction not being in person

People with Disabilities and Social Networking “I can reveal as much or as little about my

cerebral palsy as I choose: although I don’t hide my disability, many times it doesn’t even come up and I can be me without my disability taking center stage. People get to know me based on my words, thoughts, ideas, opinions and wit. They don’t get hung up on their misperceptions or assumptions about what my disability is or isn’t, which allows us to get right to the task or topic at hand.”

• disaboom

Senior Friendships: What Can We Learn From the Red Hat Society®?

Midwest Symposium on Therapeutic Recreation and Adapted Physical Education

Lake Geneva, WI

April 28, 2008

Rationale for Presentation

Leisure Ability ModelRelationship-building skills

• Addresses skills that help people develop and maintain friendships

• Healthy relationships contribute to quality of life

• Stumbo & Peterson, 2004

Rationale for Presentation

Number of people who are older35 million over 65 years

• US Census, 2000

137% increase by 2050• Baby boomers

• US Census, 2001

Increase in TR jobs working with seniors

• Occupational Outlook Handbook, 2007

What Is a Friend?

Are the benefits of friendship similar for seniors?

Are the effects of loss similar for seniors?

Benefits of Senior Friendships Physical health

Immune system Cardiovascular

Mental health Social health

Companionship Social support

Life satisfaction Optimism Maintain identity

Decrease loneliness

Increase feelings of usefulness

Provides socialization into old age

Helps adjust to losses

And more…

Benefits of Senior Friendships

Friendship identity is strongest predictor of well-beingEven if family is largest percentage of

social support network

Why???

• Siebert, Mutran, Reitzes, 1999

If no friends…

Women are more vulnerable to lonelinessMore likely to withdraw

• Martina & Stevens, 2006

Women are more depressedImportance of same-sex BFF

• Antonucci, Lansford, & Akiyama, 2001

Friendlessness is a risk factor for disease and death

• Frazier, 2007; Siebert, Mutran, & Reitzes, 1999

Red Hat Society®

Red Hat Society®

Started 1998

Warning Jenny Joseph

Now a huge “disorganization” Women over 50

Red Hat Society®

Mission:Use age as license to be silly and build

relationships with women• Yarnal, Kerstetter, Chick, & Hutchinson, 2005

Say goodbye to burdens, responsibilities & obligations for awhile

Gain higher visibility for women in age group & reshape how they are viewed in today’s culture

• www.redhatsociety.com/

Red Hat Society®

Central Tenets No rules

• EXCEPT• Over 50 “full regalia”

• (red hats/purple outfit)

• Under 50 • (pink hats/lavender outfits)

• No men No jobs No responsibilities No penalties

Red Hat Society®

Members need to enjoyBeing with other womenPlaying dress-upDoing “girl things”Deepening laugh lines

• Cooper, 2004

Ruby RedHat’s Top Ten Rules For Living, Plus One

1. Accept reality, live in the here & now No what-ifs or regrets Don’t try to control life & others

2. Accentuate the positive Look at the good in self, others, situations Have gratitude for all the good in life

3. Nurture yourself When you need a break, take one Take long walks, curl up with a book

4. Indulge your sense of humor Have a broad grin and a belly laugh Develop laugh lines rather than frown lines Be silly

Ruby RedHat’s Top Ten Rules For Living, Plus One

5. Play! Girls just wanna have fun Have a slumber party or any party

6. Dress up! Shop in thrift shops The more glitz & boas the better Clothes don’t have to be “age-appropriate” It’s easier to act silly when you dress silly

7. Cultivate an openness to new things Learn to be satisfied with who you are Challenge yourself to learn and grow Try almost anything

8. Express your creativity Try silly ideas Create outfits with flair Think outside the “hatbox”

Ruby RedHat’s Top Ten Rules For Living, Plus One

9. Exercise compassion Help each other face challenges Cry with others

10. Have courage Face your own challenges or whatever comes

your way

11. Make up for sobriety of your youth Make up for all the duties you performed There is an awful lot of quirky stuff left to do Instead of buying staples, buy toys for yourself

• Cooper, 2004

Red Hat Society®

Play can be seen in chapter names:The Grateful RedAbove BoredWell-Red LadiesB.O.M.B. (Bodacious Ozark Mountain

Babes)O.H.M.Y! (Outrageous Hats, Misguided

Youths)Barely Beyond Pink

Red Hat Society®

Play can be seen in activities:Pajama partiesGlamour shotsChick flicksThrift shop scavenger huntHigh teaSenior promLongest chorus line

What are the key components of the Red Hat Society’s® success?

How can we use the Red Hat Society® as a model to help design programs or interventions to facilitate

friendships for our senior clients?

What We Can Do

Find a Red Hat chapter for our clients Start a Red Hat chapter for our clients

www.redhatsociety.com/ Apply concepts to our existing friendship

programs Apply concepts to new friendship programs Infuse fun and friendship in all our

interactions with clients Infuse fun and play in our own lives

Webkinz: Make-believe, Virtual, and Real-life FriendsMidwest Symposium on Therapeutic Recreation and

Adapted Physical Education

St. Louis, MO

April 16, 2009

Who were your childhood friends?

Real-life Friends

PreschoolForm preferences as early as toddlers73% have 1 mutual friendPrefer peers who are similar in age,

sex, and raceBased on proximity and playing

together• Lindsey, 2002: Yugar & Shapiro, 2001

Real-life Friends

Grade School Most have mutual friends Most friends are same-sex Choose peers from classroom,

neighborhood, or recreation activities Based on qualities like keeping promises

and secrets and telling the truth Involved in sleepovers

• Yugar & Shapiro, 2001; Rotenberg & Morgan, 1995: Graham et al., 1998

Real-life Friends

Grade School: BoysPlay in larger groupsFew demands for intimacyConcern about mastery, status,

autonomyIncrease in cross-race mutual friends

• Graham et al., 1998; Meurling et al., 1999

Real-life Friends

Grade School: GirlsSpend much time with friendsConcern about relationship issues and

emotional closenessDependency in relationshipsExclusive & intimate friendshipsSmall friendship networks

• Graham et al., 1996; Meurling et al., 1999

Real-life Friends Help To…..

Provide a context for social learning Serve as resources for emotional

support and security Function as precursor for later

relationships• Yugar & Shapiro, 2001

Real-life Friends Help To…..

Develop social competenceInitiate interactionsLearn give and takeLearn to set up rulesLearn to lead and followLearn how different situations call for

different behaviorsMaintain ongoing relationshipSolve conflicts with other children

• Rose & Asher, 2000

Make-believe Friends

Imaginary companions or friendsInvisible character

Impersonation

Personified object

Make-believe Friends Help To…

Stimulate creativity and imagination Feel less lonely Have a confidant to tell secrets to Figure difference between right and

wrong• Brott, 2009

Develop language skills• Wikipedia, 2009

Make-believe Friends Help To…

Learn to talk to people Learn to get along with others

• Maschke, 2006

Virtual Friends

What are virtual friends?

Did you have virtual friends when you were a child?

Do you have a virtual friend now?

Do you know of children that have virtual friends?

What are friendships like for children with disabilities?

Friends and Children with Disabilities

Rarely engaged in social interaction with peers in school or classes

Had no consistent friends Were alone on playground during free time Had infrequent contact with peers in

extracurricular or recreation activities Were not invited for play dates, birthday

parties, or sleep overs• Koegel et al., 2005

Friends and Children with Disabilities

Often more helping relationships than friendships

Girls more frequently than boys “work with” a classmate who has a disability

• Turnbull et al., 2000

Webkinz Outcomes

Encourage reading Encourage writing Learn about saving & spending money Learn responsibility by caring for pet Learn 21st century technology skills Increase ability to get along with others Place to socialize with friends in a fun &

safe environment

Webkinz Outcomes

Virtual friends Make-believe friends Real-life friends

Talk about Webkinz were part of interactions with real friends in and out of online environment

• Spires, Lee, & Lester, 2008

Group Work

What do you currently do to facilitate friendship with your child clients?

How might you use Webkinz as an intervention to facilitate friendships?

Will Webkinz work better with certain populations?

Computer games & Webkinz previously used:

Children with autism• Altshuler, 2009

Children with fetal alcohol syndrome• Padgett, Strickland, & Coles, 2006

Hospitalized children• Webkinz Foundation