NPEA 2013Rebecca JosephRebecca CullenJessie Royce Hill

COMMUNICATING THEIR STORIES:

STRATEGIES FOR HELPING STUDENTS

WRITE POWERFUL COLLEGE ESSAYS

Take control over the highest ranked non-academic aspect of the application

Realize the package of essays counts…not just oneShare their voiceExpress who they really areShow (not tell) stories that belong only to them and

help them jump off the pageChallenge stereotypesReflect on their growth and development, including

accomplishments and serviceSeek to understand what the admission offi cer is

looking forRJ

ESSAYS = OPPORTUNITY

HOW IMPORTANT ARE THE ESSAYS?

1. Grades2. Rigor of Coursework, School3. Test Scores4. Essays*5. Recommendations-Teacher and/or

Counselor6. Activities-Sustained consistency,

development, leadership, and initiative7. Special skills, talents, awards,

community service and passions JRH

ContextValuesIntellectual curiosity, a playful mind, or a

sense of humorCommitment/Depth of InterestsInteraction with and/or perception by othersSpecial talents and qualities Realistic self-appraisal

JRH

WHAT DO ADMISSIONS OFFICERS LOOK FOR IN ESSAYS?

1)Understand the landscape2)Create a master chart to highlight patterns

3)Read successful sample essays4)Write a resume5)Brainstorm their core qualities and unique stories

6)Use the “Into, Through, and Beyond” method

RC

STEPS TO SUCCESS

1)The Common Application: New Prompts! One Long (250-650 words)

Some students have a background or story that is so central to their identity that they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.

Recount an incident or time when you experienced failure. How did it affect you, and what lessons did you learn?

Reflect on a time when you challenged a belief or idea. What prompted you to act? Would you make the same decision again?

Describe a place or environment where you are perfectly content. What do you do or experience there, and why is it meaningful to you?

Discuss an accomplishment or event, formal or informal, that marked your transition from childhood to adulthood within your culture, community, or family.

Additional Information, and Supplemental

2)Large Public Universities3)Private College Specifi c Applications4)Other Systems (Universal Application, etc.) RJ

UNDERSTAND THE LANDSCAPE

1)Major Deadlines and Needs (by application type)

2)Core Essays (color code all similar or overlapping essays)

3)Supplemental Essays (color code similar types i.e. “Why are you a good match for us?” or “How will you add to the diversity of our campus?”

RJ

CREATE A MASTER CHART: PATTERNS

Essays that worked: Connecticut Collegehttp://www.conncoll.edu/admission/essays-that-worked.htm

University of Chicago, Elon, and Tufts have great additional essay prompts

Essays from other students in your programsRC

READ SAMPLE ESSAYS AND PROMPTS

YALE ESSAYS

5 short takes-175 characters1 long essay-500 words1 short Why Yale-500 characters

JRH

Academic: Current school, honors, AP courses, test scores (if strong), summer programs

Activities: Colleges look for consistency, development, leadership, and initiative. Describe the level of activity and any awards and honors received. Include leadership positions held.

Include Sports, Service, Volunteer Work, Jobs or

Employment, Internships as appropriate.

RC

WRITE A RESUME

Brainstorming Exercises:Write a letter to future roommateWrite a “Where I’m From” poem modeled on George Lyon’s original

Write three responses to the old common application short essay activities prompt

RC

CORE QUALITIES AND UNIQUE STORIES

Dear Roommate ,I l ov e mak ing l i s t s . A se r i es o f l i s t s se r v e as deco r a t i ons o f my wa l l s , l o cke r s and n o tebook s—sp eck les o f o rgan i za t i on i n a l i f e s t y l e cha r ac te r i zed b y o rgan i zed chaos . O n e o f my mos t recen t l i s t - mak ing t ask s beg an a t two i n t h e morn in g , w i th my t r y i ng t o w r i t e abou t some pa r t o f my p e r son a l i t y t ha t I wan ted t o sha re . I b egan l i s t i n g sma l l t h i n gs abou t my se l f , an d f ou nd my s e l f i n s p i red t o c rea te a l a rg e l i s t o f t i ny th i ng s tha t defi n e many pa r t s o f who I am.The fi r s t one on the l i s t g oes w i th ou t say ing .I hav e p rob lems f a l l i ng as leep .The p ron un c ia t i on an d spe l l i n g o f my n ames se r v es a conv er s a t i on s ta r te r wh erev e r I g o .I mov e my l i p s wh en I an t i c i pa te o the r p eop le t a l k i ng .I hav e the ab i l i t y t o c rea te and d ev e lop d iff e ren t f on t s i n my han dwr i t i ng .The fi r s t t h i ng s I l ook f o r i n someone ’ s room a re th e b ook s they keep .I ' v e been s l eep in g w i th a 2 - f oo t s tu ff ed b ea r f o r n in e y ea r s .A l l I wan t i s t o be ab le t o b uy a key ch a in w i th my n ame a l read y on i t .I ' v e been t o l d t ha t I hav e a s i l l y s ens e o f hu mor.I hav e enoug h j ou rn a l s t o fi l l an en t i re book s he l f.I l ov e d ocu men ta r i es .O n e o f my f av o r i t e wo rds i s “ub un tu , ” wh i ch means h uman i t y i n X hosa .When I was th i r t een , I t r i ed w r i t i n g an au tob iog r ap hy compr i sed o f poems .I am mos t compat ib l e w i th peop le who I t h i nk a re mos t l i ke me .I f ee l l i ke a f ou r- s ta r ch e f wh en I make s a l ads .I 'm an E N T J .My f av o r i t e co l o r s a re co r a l and ce r u l ean .I f I cou ld h av e any su per p ower , I wou ld h av e the ab i l i t y t o be i n two p laces a t once . I ea t i ce c ream w i th a f o r k .I ’m obs essed w i th th e g ame Banan ag r ams™.I d r i nk o r ang e j u i ce r i g h t a f t e r I b r ush my tee th —ju s t f o r t h e sou r t a s te .Sca r y mov ies a re the wo r s t .

RJ

LETTER TO FUTURE ROOMMATE

Dear Roommate :

Fo r a ma jo r i t y o f my l i fe , I have shared the same room w i th my two younger b ro the rs , so I am confi den t you w i l l become fami l y i n no t ime .   Based on my exper t i se , I have deve loped fo l l ow ing gu ide l i nes to ge t us off to a smooth and sound f reshmen year :

1 .   A l l non -Dodgers pos te rs w i l l be removed a t you r expense , and G ian ts pos te rs w i l l be bu rned on you r bed .2 .   The use o f anyone e l se ’s too thbrush i s f rowned upon .3 .   I f you need to bo rrow my lap top , ask - don ’ t j u s t take i t .4 .   I f you need to bo rrow my underwear , don ’ t ask - j u s t take i t .

My fi f th and mos t impor tan t recommendat ion i s p lay wha tever mus ic you want .

Rock , re l i g ious , rena i ssance romant i c , rap - wha tever , I ’ l l l i s ten to i t .   I n fac t my f r i end f rom back home and I a r range rock and rap in to mashups , so I can hand le bo th . Even i f the song you dec ide to p lay i s j u s t good , I know i t can be g rea t .   Maybe we ’ l l d rop a bea t , add some power cho rds , o r back i t up w i th a D i sney soundt rack .   Don ’ t wo rry i f ou r songs a re comp le te ly d iff e ren t gen res - the more d ive rse the t racks , the be t te r the mashup . I f you have an idea fo r someth ing new, we can compose and pe r fo rm i t t ogether.

I guaran tee I w i l l t h ink tha t whatever you do w i th you r t ime i s awesome.   I f you ’ re pa r t o f a book c lub and I ’m pa r t o f an a cappe l l a g roup , we ’ l l s i ng s to r ies .   I f I ’m b roadcas t ing on KZSU 90 .1 and you ’ re a member o f the Ch inese Dance c lub , I ’ l l do p lay-by-p lay o f you r moves .

I wou ld l ove to v i s i t you wherever you l i ve , and you ’ re we lcome to v i s i t me . I have l i ved in New Yo rk , Connect i cu t , Po land , Connect i cu t aga in , and Los Ange les , and I have v i s i ted over th i r t y coun t r i es .   Tha t i s , un less you fa i l t o fo l l ow ru le number one .

RJ

LETTER TO FUTURE ROOMMATE

W h e r e I ' m Fr o m

I a m f r o m c l o t h e s p i n s , f r o m C l o r o x a n d c a r b o n - t e t r a c h l o r i d e .

I a m f r o m t h e d i r t u n d e r t h e b a c k p o r c h .( B l a c k , g l i s t e n i n g ,

i t t a s t e d l i k e b e e t s . ) I a m f r o m t h e f o r s y t h i a b u s h

t h e D u t c h e l m w h o s e l o n g - g o n e l i m b s I r e m e m b e r

a s i f t h e y w e r e m y o w n .

I ' m f r o m f u d g e a n d e y e g l a s s e s , f r o m I m o g e n e a n d A l a f a i r .

I ' m f r o m t h e k n o w - i t - a l l s a n d t h e p a s s - i t - o n s ,

f r o m P e r k u p ! a n d P i p e d o w n ! I ' m f r o m H e r e s t o r e t h m y s o u l w i t h a c o t t o n b a l l l a m b

a n d t e n v e r s e s I c a n s a y m y s e l f .

I ' m f r o m A r t e m u s a n d B i l l i e ' s B r a n c h , f r i e d c o r n a n d s t r o n g c o ff e e .

F r o m t h e fi n g e r m y g r a n d f a t h e r l o s t t o t h e a u g e r ,

t h e e y e m y f a t h e r s h u t t o k e e p h i s s i g h t .

U n d e r m y b e d w a s a d r e s s b o x s p i l l i n g o l d p i c t u r e s ,

a s i f t o f l o s t f a c e s t o d r i f t b e n e a t h m y d r e a m s .

I a m f r o m t h o s e m o m e n t s - - s n a p p e d b e f o r e I b u d d e d - -

l e a f - f a l l f r o m t h e f a m i l y t r e e .

RJ

GEORGE LYON’S “WHERE I’M FROM”

List the activities you chose to describe

Write down the traits you believe you show explicitly or implicitly to a college

Examples: empathetic, resilient, determined, collaborative, creative, insightful, analytic, etc.

Which traits you listed or didn’t list might lead to a long essay? What topics might you write about?

Examples: Innovative….creating a peer mentoring program for a local elementary school; resilient…living in two worlds (urban neighborhood and elite private school)

RC

THREE RESPONSES TO OLD COMMON APPLICATION SHORT

ESSAY PROMPT

Into• Lead the reader into the story• Start with a hook• Consider cutting first paragraph(s) from first draft

Through• Use 1/3, 2/3 method: if starting with a life or family challenge, move quickly into who student is now; if

writing about someone who influenced, make sure 2/3 of essay is about the student not the person of influence

• Use first person• Show don’t tell

Beyond• Connect to who student is now and who student wants to be• Evoke core qualities, convey morals

RJ

INTO, THROUGH, AND BEYOND

Mission of the Jack Kent Cooke Foundation:Advancing the education of exceptional students with financial need

Scholarships: middle/high school, undergraduate (college and transfer), graduate arts

Grants: organizations serving high-achieving students with financial need

We hold a 3-day college planning weekend during the summer between junior and senior years of high school.

Dr. Joseph has run essay workshops the past four summers.

The essays that result take draft after draft but are worth the wait.

RC/RJ/SG

ONE JKCF SCHOLAR’S PROCESS

Students need to remember that admission offi cers:

Can smell “enhanced” essays. Often say essays make or break an ult imate decision for students

applying to “match colleges.”

Students need to remember that they:

Can create amazing essays and control this process Have two to fi ve minutes to grab the attention of an essay reader. Need weeks, not days, to write eff ective college essays. Must ult imately submit what pleases them. Cannot manufacture essays; essays convey truth, unique stories,

and writ ing skil ls. Should see the fi rst new prompt as a gift.

RC/RJ/JRH

FINAL THOUGHTS

Dr. Rebecca Joseph: rjoseph@allcollegeessays.org and rjoseph@calstatela.edu. She has an iPhone/iPad App-All College Application Essays that lists every major application essay students have to write.

Rebecca Cullen: rcullen@jkcf.orgJessie Royce Hill: jessie.hill@yale.edu

CONTACT US