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4 Truths About Resolving Conflict in Your Business
“Harnessing Conflictto ImproveYour Business”
Trish Blake-Jones
April 6th, 2016
Photo:www.integra-leadership.com
4 Truths…
① You cannot ignore conflict② Conflict arises from unmet
expectations③ Conflict has level of “cares” or
values④ Other person not necessarily evil
Emotions in Conflict
SuzanneGiesemann.com
Emotions in Conflict (cont’d)
Say things we don’t mean Mean things we don’t say Emotions: confuse, hypnotize,
energize, freeze us in fear We’re stuck
Emotions in Conflict (cont’d)
ANGER
WorrySadness Uncertainty
ShameDisappointment Jealousy
Vulnerability
Conflict goes with usBusiness Personal/Family
www.familybusinessmatters.consulting
Approaches to Conflict
Compromise
Compete Collaborate
Avoid Accommodate
Importance of GOAL
Importance of RELATIONSHIP
Chart: Thomas & Kilman
I’d rather ignore the whole thing but…
Truth #1
You cannot ignore conflict
Photo: www.underwatersculpture.com
Common conflict coping mechanisms…
Side-step issue, don’t talk about it
Avoid other party Triangulate: get others on your
side Retaliate, Undermine, Give up
When conflict festers…Employees take control of
broken processes, Voids get filled – you lose
power to control the outcomeConflict spirals
When conflict festers…
Morale sinks Productivity sabotaged Clients/Customers leave Revenue
Truth #2 Conflict
arises from unmet expectations
So…?
We can be curiousWe can consider our intentionDistributive vs. Integrative
bargaining“Pie” could be bigger than we
thought
Truth #3 Conflict has levels of
“cares”or values
Values/Cares in Conflict
NegotiableNeeds
Wants
Truth #4 Intentions of other party
are not (usually) evil
www.glogster.com
YOUR Intention
Be the leader in your conflict Move into your conflict, in
order to move through Follow your intuition
Difficult People & ConflictPersonality Disorders 15% of population: 1 in 7 peopleBorderline Personality Disorder
Narcissistic Personality DisorderDon’t recognize they are high-
conflict
High-Conflict People (HCP)
All-or-nothing thinking
Preoccupation with blaming others
Unmanaged emotions
Draw in many other people
Drain energy, time and resources
Prolonged, unresolved conflict
High-Conflict People (HCP)
How to respond?Don’t take it personally – it’s not
youUse resources: HR, manager, 3rd
partyBook: “It’s All Your Fault at Work”
Bill Eddy, LCSW, ESQ.
High Conflict People
There aresome people you’ve justgot to love
from adistance.
Sonya TeclaiThe Goodvibe.co
Group development & conflict
Forming Storming Norming Performi
ng
Bruce W. Tuckman model
Reducing Conflict in business:
Crystal clear work processesTeam roles defined, refined
(frequently)Clear lines of reportingPolicies communicated and
followed
Reducing Conflict in business:Consistent recognition & reward
programsModel resolution culture –
transparency, integrity, openness
Get support if conflict averse
Modeling resolution…
Pick the “right” time and approach
Have intention to resolveBe the leader in your conflict
How to engage? One-to-one Letter/note Not texting Third-party support
…Consider APOLOGIZING
Assumes responsibility for 50% +Surprise tacticCan be deeply effectiveShifts dialogue immediately
Conflict as Learning
“Conflict is inevitable,but combat
is optional.” Max Lucado
http://blog.kevineikenberry.com
Got Conflict?BLAKE-JONESMEDIATION LLC1534 Monroe AvenueROCHESTER NY
[email protected]@TrishMediates585-943-1770