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“Resolving Conflict” Moving From Conflict To Collaboration
Facilitator
Willie Johnson Performance
Improvement and
Training Consultant
Conflict Resolution
What concerns me is not the way
things are, but rather the way
people think things are…
Epicteus
What Is Conflict?
• Positive or Negative
Communication
• Fact Of Life
• State of being that occurrs over a prolonged period during which issues are not addressed – thereby adding to dissonance.
The Challenge“When Dealing With Conflict”
Seek win-win relationships -
Thru A Collaborative Process
All Roads Can Lead To
Conflict:
Differences in needs, Differences in perceiving
objectives and values. Motives, words, actions
Diversity and Miscommunication.
Differing expectations of Unwillingness to work
outcomes - favorable through issues,
versus unfavorable collaborate or
Personality Type compromise
Conflict Communication Skills• Reflection (Ack. Behavior)
• I-Statements (Show Empathy)
• Diplomatic Disagreement
• Gentle Confrontation
• Firm Confrontation
Understanding - Demand For Action
Five Popular Approaches To
Conflict Resolution
• Avoid
• Force
• Accommodate
• Compromise
• Collaborate
Avoid
• Avoid - sidestepping, ignoring
or postponing.
Avoiding Conflict Successfully Use when something else is more important.
Down Side to Avoiding Conflict Could appear indecisive
Matter remains temporarily unresolved
Force
• Force - making the other person do
what you want.
How to Force Successfully Be clear and direct
Down Side to Using Force Causes Resentment
Lowers Morale
Accommodate• Accommodate - meeting the other
persons needs, giving in to their desires.
Accommodating Successfully Ask questions
Accommodate graciously
Down Side to AccommodatingPushover
Doormat
Compromise• Compromise - trading something
you want for something they want,
finding the middle ground.
Compromising SuccessfullyWhat are you & the other person willing to give up?
Down Side to Compromising Doesn’t expose underlying issues
Principles and ethics cannot be compromised
Collaborate• Collaboration - Reaching a mutually beneficial
agreement, and finding creative solutions that
meet everyone’s needs.
Collaborating Successfully Identify and clarify issues
Restate the problem
Find out what each side wants
Generate possible solutions
Anticipate possible problems.
“6” Key Actions To Moving From
Conflict To Collaboration
• Establish mutual involvement.
• Focus – situation, issue, behavior - Not person
• Seek to understand the other person’s view.
• Present you perspective of the problem and its impact
• Decide on an appropriate plan of action.
• Express your appreciation for the other person
Moving From Conflict To
Collaboration: “ Key Action #1”
Establish Mutual
Involvement.• Briefly describe the
problem.
• State your positive
intentions
Moving From Conflict To
Collaboration: “ Key Action #2”
Seek To Understand The Other Person’s Point Of View.
– Ask questions to bring out critical issues.
– Listen until you completely understand
– Check your understanding
Moving From Conflict To
Collaboration: “ Key Action #3”
Present your perspective of
the problem and its
impact.
– Describe the problem and
it’s impact from your
perspective (be objective
& non-judgmental / ID
your feelings, desires &
needs)
Moving From Conflict To
Collaboration: “ Key Action #4”
Decide On An Appropriate Plan Of Action
– Agree on the issues to be addressed
– Share responsibility for implementing your plan
– Document agreed-upon actions/follow-up times
Moving From Conflict To
Collaboration: “ Key Action #5”
Express Your Appreciation
For The Other Person’s
Efforts
– Thank the other person
– Summarize what you have
learned
Strategies To Avoid
• Minimization
•
• Blame
•
• Unloading
• Manipulation
Coping Strategies
Don’t waste energy with skeptics
who won’t listen.
Agree To Disagree, Agreeably
(No-Deal is form of Win-Win).
Brainstorm with others and
develop a new way of coping
with the situation.
What do you do if you still can’t
resolve your conflict?
Attitude: Your “MOST”
Priceless Possession• Managing Yourself
– Play Your Winners
• Managing Stress
– Accentuate The Positive
• Building Support
– Network - Network
• Thinking Powerfully
– Collaboration is the
“key” to lasting
relationships
Addendum
Relationship
Building
How Do You Maintain Positive Relationships?
• Become A Friendlier Person
• Win People To Your Way
Of Thinking
• Be A Leader
Relationship Building
(1) Become A Friendlier Person• Don’t criticize,
condemn, or complain
• Arouse in others an
eager want.
• Be a good listener
(Seek first to
understand – then to be
understood)
• Make others feel
important. (Be sincere)
Relationship Building
(2) Win people to your way of thinking
• Show respect for others
opinions.
• Try “honestly” to see
things from other’s point
of view.
• Be sympathetic with
others ideas & desires.
• Throw down a
challenge.
Relationship Building
(3) Be A Leader• Ask questions instead
of giving direct orders
• Praise even the
slightest improvement
• Give others a fine
reputation to live up to
• Use encouragement &
make others feel happy
about doing things you
suggest.
What ripples out from
You?