Become a More Powerful Person With How to Trust

The Most Powerful Person on Earth!

How You Can Master Your Mindset and Finally Make Things Happen!

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Table of ContentsIntroductionHow This Process WorksThree Key Success PrinciplesWhat Are Beliefs?Perception is RealityFour Major Criteria for SuccessConditioning WorksheetBeliefs – Actions – ResultsMirrors & ReflectionsUgly BeliefsYou Are “Good Enough”Your StoryChanging PerceptionsRe-InterpretationsTricky yet Wonderful MindGiving New Meaning to OldSummaryMore Ideas for YouDistorted Thoughts Worksheet

Copyright Patricia Ogilvie 20143

Copyright © 2014 by PEL

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any

means, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information

storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher.

Published by:ProRisk Press 2014

Box 253, Alberta Beach, Alberta Canada T0E 0A0

Website: http://www.PatriciaOgilvie.com

ISBN 978-0-9780520-1-0


IntroductionThere’s a reason a little girl covers this book.

She is a lot of little girls, some aspects remembered, many forgotten.

She is polite, reserved, obedient, humble, yet unseen. She wore hand me downs and her magnificence was missed.

When it came to money, she was tossed change out of a pocket, whatever was left over was good enough for her.

She cowered. She didn’t want attention because that meant she must have done something wrong. Whenever she did get attention, it was because she didn’t do what her parents wanted her to do. She proved herself right. She must have done something wrong.

She grew up, like all little girls.

And she is the most powerful person in the world. She is in charge of her destiny whether she is aware of it or not. She’s me. She could be in some aspects you. Let’s find out.


How This WorksThis book is really about how to improve some aspect of your life. It could be your wealth, love,

happiness, self worth, and confidence levels. Together we will explore and identify patterns and blocks that may be holding you back. Then we‘l take some actions steps to make changes.

It’s all about exposing the barriers that not only seem to make it logistically impossible to make money as your own boss but could be sapping your energy and motivation in any work environment.

This is the program that’s going to help you get to the bottom of why you keep sabotaging your success and makes you stop and fall victim to all the money you spend for nothing! Or, if you’ve never gotten started in the first place, this is the book that’s going to help you understand why. Everything in these pages is designed to help you attend to what’s going on inside you (your mind, your way of thinking) so that you can get on with the business of improving your income level, your client base, your project scopes and your self-confidence.

But there are a few common and particularly significant barriers that trip people up. Those barriers range from feelings of unworthiness to emotional abuse.

One or more may strike a chord with you, but whichever it is, going through this simple process will get the wheels turning in your head and help you begin thinking about what in your life is holding you back from success.


There are two ways you can look at the lack of success in your life. You can feel put upon and feel sorry for yourself, angry that life isn’t fair, blame others for your situation, or you can see the challenges that lay ahead as an opportunity to shift something about yourself or situation that you don’t like.

Today it’s more important than ever to be, do and have what supports being successful in relationships, communication, finance, and life in general. It’s hard enough without your own mind dragging you down!

“If you think you can do a thing or think you can’t do a thing, you’re right.” – Henry Ford

In this workbook you will find definitions and exercises about belief, how to find the buggers, and the process how to eliminate them.

Remember, whatever you believe about what you’re doing affects your actions.

Your actions affect your results.

To change your results or get different or better results, you need to look at what you believe about what you are doing.


3 Success Principles

How could you miss seeing Opportunities?

This happens over and over again throughout time because most people think of themselves as ordinary and accept ordinary incomes and outcomes. However, the stories you tell yourself could genuinely demonstrate three key success principles:

1. Your opportunities are unlimited.

2. You set your own limitations and you can choose to remove those limitations at any time.

3. There is no limit to your potential. The human brain is perhaps the most amazing organ in your body. Ray Sahelian, M.D. says, "not only does [your brain] help you think, learn, and remember... it also has all the building blocks it needs to cure your body".

The brain is that powerful! In addition to the power to restore health to your physical body your brain controls your success in sales too.


What Are Beliefs?How Many of These Self-Limit ing Thoughts Do You Have?

Sales expert Jack Singer, PhD lists these negative, self-talk phrases as examples of self-limiting thinking:

"What if...“

"I hope I don't...“

"I should have said...“

"The client won't like me if...“

"I always have a problem with...“

"I probably won't be able to close this sale...“

"I can't believe how stupid I was to say that..."


Here are some questions to ask yourself:

Do you believe in the value of your products or service or what you do to earn your income?

Do your products, service or activity provide a benefit to your customers and family?

Do you believe in the value of what you are selling?

Are you doing the best you know how to ensure that your customers (or family) get what they need?

If you answered “yes” to the above questions, then you are proceeding with integrity.

If you are proceeding with integrity, then obviously you are not being dishonest, or sleazy or greasy! Yeah!

You can persuade, convince and sell with your head held high!

Even if you answered “no” turn the page….


Perception Is RealityThis workshop challenges you to do the forensic work of

changing a belief from your personal story.

I remembered the precise moment that I decided that my dad was the most powerful person on earth. He dolled money and he decided if I was worthy of his love. Here’s what else I remembered. Lies! Lies! Lies! Yes, he was powerful, but not over me!

You may believe someone from your past or currently is more powerful in various ways than you are.

If that’s the case, it’s time to look at that belief and decide once and for all if it’s serving you to become successful financially and as a powerful person in your own right.

As long as I thought dad had power over me, my life sucked. Simple as that.

That is until I listened to something inside that didn’t like the thought. No, didn’t like it at all. Even way back then.


4 Criteria for Success1. You must have a clear vision of what you want to accomplish and with whom. And it’s

not just “because” you desire to be in business for yourself. Your vision must be so clear it also includes the solution you have to offer to a hungry market of problem seekers.

2. You must have a support network in place you can consult with and mastermind with. But the caution here is that you must surround yourself with people who are at your level of support, love, confidence and growth. Interesting little story here. A client shared he was going to get marketing support from his friend to help him spread the word about his new business. But his friend was unemployed, in the middle of a divorce, drinking heavily and not such a good choice. You see, you need to be careful who you surround yourself with. Energy is important.

3. Which brings us to this important criterion. You must have a relevant mentor/coach who will tell you the truth. Your mentor will tell you if you’re on the right track and will gently (or not so if necessary) stop you from making a mistake that may impede your business success. Don’t get me wrong. Someone else doesn’t know like you do what will work. However, sometimes looking at a decision or situation from the outside in with fresh eyes can reveal hidden clues to the next step.

4. Finally, you must be persistent and willing to go the full mile to reach success. That means encouragement and a little ass kicking if necessary to take action!


Conditioning Worksheet1. Do you believe in the value of your product, service or the

work you do?

□ Yes □ No

If ‘yes” what is the value of your products, services or work you do? Please describe:

2. Do your products, services or work you do provide a benefit to your customers/family/friends?

□ Yes □ No

If ‘yes” what are the benefits of your products, services or work to do? Please describe:


Conditioning Worksheet3. Do you believe in the value of what you are sell ing?

□ Yes □ No

4. Are you doing the best you knowhow to ensure that your customers and family get what they need?

□ Yes □ No

If ‘no” what could you do better to ensure that your customers or family get what they need? Please describe:


Beliefs – Actions - ResultsSure we can put labels on what separates successful people from those who struggle.

Why is one person able to start a business or being a new job and succeed while others with similar qualifications and abilities fail?

It’s thoughts and beliefs. I t ’s the stories we tel l ourselves over and over. And those stories are the “l i fe decisions” you made about yourself!

Let me explain further.

Put simply, whatever you believe affects your actions. If you believe that a certain action is negative, you will not want to take that action. If, on the other hand, you believe an action to be positive, why then it will be easier to move forward.

Taking action (or not taking action) gives you results of one sort or another.

If you take a closer look at your results, are willing to be brutally honest about how you contribute to them, then you, my friend, are a step closer to discovering limitations to success. In fact, here’s a new belief for you: “I’m willing to look at my beliefs, good and ugly!”


Mirrors & Reflections Life is a mirror: It 's a reflection of what you decided how to think and

believe!

Notice that every time you point out there and either accuse or blame or even positively “point out” something, ONE finger is out there? The rest point BACKto you.

That’s how reflection works. You see, your environment actually reflects an issue you have or set up in your own business.

I’m going to be blunt here. If your business or work sucks, the results are merely suggesting that you have some work to do about your own beliefs about “sucking big time” in making money!

There are no accidents to what is or isn't showing up in your world. But I promise you, if you complain, or accuse, or deny what is happening outside of you, what you really want will take longer to come. You will suffer more, and life will become more and more challenging. That’s a guarantee!


Ugly Beliefs?A belief is a statement about reality that feels true on some gut level. But the

problem occurs when we think our beliefs are accurate statements about our reality.

Ahhhh, you say. But you do have beliefs that have served you well. Oh for sure. I’m not talking about those. I’m talking about those that sift through your life and make you miserable.

You may know intellectually that you are good and good enough, however, underneath, an incident plays itself out, over and over and over.

It reflects in your work. It reflects in your relationships. It reflects in how much money you earn. You may know as an adult you are good enough. You may have successes, you’ve made a difference and yet, underneath you may have a sense that keeps you in resistance to creating bigger and wider successes. You reach a ceiling and you can’t get past it.

Or you may have spent a lot of time suppressing the belief. “I’m not good enough” is a common belief in adults in all vocations – writers, teachers, company owners, mothers, farmers, retailers, the list is all encompassing.


Bottom line: A belief is ugly when it stops you from taking action!

The next section of this book begins as your investigative challenge by asking questions. There will be space after each question to answer by writing or what I highly suggest, answer out loud. I’ll remind you each time.

Yes, out loud works miraculously. You hear your own voice and it resonates energetically into the very core of your cells. Now that’s making a special difference for yourself. That’s the first step to taking your power back!


You Are “Good Enough”First let’s f ind out if you hold the belief, “I ’m not good enough.”

And if you do, are you ready to eliminate this belief? Permanently? Good. And remember, answer out loud.

Do you ever feel like “I’m not good enough”, even a little bit? Please write your answer down and answer out loud.

Do you ever feel l ike “I ’m not good enough” even a l i tt le bit?

Write your answer and say it out loud.

Do you ever feel “I ’m not good enough” when you make a mistake or fai l?

Again, answer out loud and write it down.

If you believe you are good enough, would making a mistake or failing at some project effect you negatively? Probably not.


Do you procrastinate a lot?

Are you worried that what you are putting off won’t be good enough?

Do you procrastinate a lot? Are you worried that what you are putt ing off won’t be good enough?

More evidence.


Your StoryHow to change your belief system from your own personal

story

Another common belief struggling entrepreneurs think about is that “People with money somehow deserve it … and I don’t.”

Yet people try to demystify money by saying that it’s just “a neutral instrument for facilitating the exchange of goods and services.” Like Monopoly money.

Somehow, that’s supposed to help you to let go of the emotional baggage you’ve attached to money and change your mind about whether you should or shouldn’t have more. It won’t. But here’s what will.

What busts this belief actually goes back to something much more basic: take a closer look at the source – your story.


Now I want you to think of a time when you were disappointed, or hurt, or worse, disillusioned about your own power and ability to make a difference in your life.

Take a few moments and remember that incident.

If you need more space than the box provides, simply use a blank piece of paper or the back of this page.

Your Story


Changing PerceptionsMom got annoyed with me because I didn’t do things exactly how she

wanted. Or my dad got angry with me for disobeying his word.

While serious money-related addictions (such as compulsive gambling, hoarding, and over-spending) may require long-term therapy, most of us are dealing with basic, common negative beliefs that can be released just with the process outlined here.

Take your time because this step is very important to eliminate this belief.

My parents said and did these when I didn’t do what they wanted:

The source of the belief is triggered by you interpreting their reactions when you didn’t do what they wanted especially when they wanted you to do something else.


Now look at the events you wrote in the box in the previous page.

Can you see that your conclusion, “I’m not good enough” is a valid interpretation of those events?

Can you SEE that your conclusion, I’m not good enough, is a valid interpretation of those events?

Please answer this out loud or write down your response.

Would you also say that many children who experienced what you did would come to the same conclusion as you did?

Would other chi ldren in your shoes experience the same conclusion of “I ’m not good enough:?

Keep answering out loud and/or write your response.


You see, just admitting what someone else lied to you about your value, your worth, or anything else about you, reduces its power over you.

Becoming aware of what you told yourself as a lie also reduces its impact.

Some of you are saying, “Yes But! No one else has messed up my life and lives with an atypical family like mine! This sucks!”

You’re kidding, right?

How many people do you know don’t come from conventional families with the original mother, original father, with 1.5 siblings?

Stuff happens to the rich and poor, the smart and the dumber equally. Your case is not different. It just happens to be yours!

Donald Trump appeared to have it all. Yet he filed for bankruptcy. Yet he had something inside that rebuilt his empires.

Remember all those lottery winners? A reported 30 percent blew through their funds in less than a year. They didn’t work for their money. But they didn’t work keeping it either. They had “success ceiling” syndrome up the woo-zoo!


Then there’s Willie Nelson. And how many more “business” people losing their shirts.

Athletes fare no better. According to the Toronto Star, 60 percent of NBA players are broke five years after they retire.

You hear about Mike Tyson. He went from $300 million in the black to $27 million in the red before he told the bankruptcy court he could no longer pay his bills.

So why would you think your story is better or worse? It’s not – it’s yours!

And theirs is theirs!

I don’t know if you read this. 1.5 million personal bankruptcies were filed in the year ending June 30, 2010, up 21 percent over the prior year, according to the Administrative Office of the U.S. Courts.

In Elizabeth Warren’s “The Fragile Middle Class: Americans in Debt,” she says the average age of a bankruptcy filer is 38. Forty-four percent are couples, 30 percent are women, and 26 percent are men.

So guess what? Many people have “messed up” and gone on to thrive. And if all you’re dealing with is feeling like your parents thought you didn’t deserve a new toy or coat or education, that’s the easy beliefs to disable!


Re-InterpretationsCan you accept that “I’m not good enough” is just one of many

interpretations?

If you can accept this premise, then I challenge you to once again, write or answer out loud, does “I’m not good enough” seem like it’s not the truth, but just a truth?

Does “I ’m not good enough” seem like it ’s not the truth, but just a truth?

Again, can you accept that the original interpretation of “I’m not good enough” is just one interpretation out of a possible five or six interpretations, depending on what mind frame, time frame and who witnesses a similar event?

I know you’ll agree with me that any other interpretation was just as valid. Then you would also agree that your parents’ reactions to your story could

have several different interpretations.

Yet, you and I chose “I’m not good enough.”

And that now doesn’t seem all that powerful, now does it?


My cigarette story: At 5 years old, I was caught trying to smoke. I was struck on my mouth as punishment. I saw dad’s behavior, and I gave it a meaning that “I’m not good enough” when in fact, what I saw was his anger and stomping out a cigarette butt as he danced around us shouting.

That’s what I saw. That event had no meaning before I gave it one.

Here’s another example.

Look up from your reading and look at the picture on the wall. Or a book, or an object in the room. What do you see?

You see its color and shape. Now close your eyes. Think of what you just saw. You now see it in your mind’s eye even when your eyes are closed. But do you see the notion, “I’m not good enough”? No. That’s an interpretation only.

We give our power away to situations that we fail to acknowledge as events, no matter how vivid and stressful. But what we end up doing is giving those events a meaning and reminding ourselves for years and years that we actually see and feel the interpretation we gave it!

It’s the same when we attribute a meaning to the event.


Imagine being that kid again and seeing that vision. Does it still seem like you see “I’m not good enough” in the event?

Can you see “I’m not good enough” in the event?

Here’s what I mean by seeing something. What color is it? What shape? Where is it located?

Answer out loud or write in the box below.

What does “I ’m not good enough” look l ike? What color is it? What shape is it? Where is i t located?

So did you really see, “I’m not good enough?”

You saw your mom or dad criticizing you. I saw my dad angry with me and heard his mumbling disappointments. But I didn’t see, “I’m not good enough.” No, I now know that it was an interpretation that I chose to apply to the situation. And it wasn’t the truth! It was a truth – mine for a long while.


Let’s look at another interpretation of your own story. You could have interpreted it as being right. Or you could have interpreted it as being wrong. I know you’re understanding this right now. Congratulations. You’re making the shift right now!

It’s clear that anything you can see can be described. And by now it should be clear that anything you can’t see can’t be described by any event. It’s an interpretation that can be altered at any time!

Is it clear now that you never really saw “I’m not good enough”?

Is it clear now that you never real ly saw “I’m not good enough”?

Write or answer out loud.Now if you never really saw “I’m not good enough”, what did you really see?

What did you really see in that event?

Here’s what I saw. I saw an angry dad, a cigarette butt, a scared little brother, some smoke and a whole lot of the front of my shirt as I held my head down. That’s what I saw. I never, ever did see, “I’m not good enough”. I only decided that in the moment.


I could have decided anything else – but I didn’t. Now I know. I saw a series of events. Please say this out loud with me. “I saw a series of events!”

I attributed the meaning to the events. The situation had no meaning before I gave it one.

There were consequences to my dad’s behavior. They were unpleasant consequences. But was there any meaning to the behavior?

Let me explain more about meaning.

Imagine you attended a conference on writing. You walked into the room and no one talked to you. What would you think?

What would you think i f you walked into a room and no one talked to you?

Say your answer out loud or write it down. This is the next critical step to eliminating an unworkable belief like “I’m not good enough.”


You may have said, “Oh, they’re preoccupied. Or they didn’t see me. Or some other explanation. But what did you really see?

You saw someone in the room. You saw they were turned away from you. So what?

Your answer is the meaning you gave to the event.

Where does meaning come from? Your mind!

When you give meaning to an event, it’s a fabrication of your mind!So let me ask you this.

If meaning comes from your mind, is there any meaning inherent in your parents’ behavior? Or is there any meaning inherent in any other events for that matter?

So you get rejected writing for a project.

If meaning is in your mind, is there any meaning inherent in your parents’ behavior? Or in any other for that matter?

Please write or answer out loud. Of course the answer is NO!


Tricky Wonderful MindThe Mind is a Tricky and Wonderful Tool

I imagine you thinking, gosh how many times do I have to remind myself about this belief! Well, we’re not done yet!

Think of me as the angel coming in and making damn sure you get the gist, you get the meaning you gave behind the meaning it could have been and ultimately, you’re sick and tired of it!

Let’s go on. So now you know that “I’m not good enough” is an interpretation from the mind.

But what about feelings? You may have interpreted that your parents’ behavior made you feel as if you weren’t good enough.

The same applies here too. Can you really feel “I’m not good enough”? No. Just like you can’t see it, you can’t feel it. Both come from your interpretations of the event and both come from a decision from the mind.

The events had no meaning and events with no meaning can’t make you feel bad.


Here’s another example that should really set this notion in place for you.

I look outside and I see a lot of clouds in the sky. In fact, clouds covered the day and night skies for past week.

How do the clouds cause me to feel? Nothing. Nada. Don’t care.

Now, an extraordinary event occurred during the timing of this writing. We experienced a total lunar eclipse, an event that happens once every 450 years when the sun, earth and moon are all directly aligned. You know it’s happening because the moon turns a bright orange to blood read to dark brown caused by the deflection of sun’s rays through our atmosphere.

The night of the eclipse, the clouds cleared and from my vantage point in northern Canada, we could see the eclipse purely and well. The question is, what did the clouds cause me to feel? In this case, if I thought about it, pure joy.

Now if the clouds had moved in, preventing a visual of the eclipse, how would the clouds then make me feel? I’d probably feel angry and disappointed.

But is it really the clouds that made me feel bad? Or is it the meaning I’m giving the clouds.


Clouds have no meaning either way, good or bad. But give them one meaning and I feel good and then give them another meaning and I feel bad. This comes from my mind.

So back to your story and the original meaning you gave it as “I’m not good enough.” The event is like the clouds. They have no meaning until you give them one.

See what I mean?

This leads us to yet another interesting question.

What did make you feel “I’m not good enough”?

What makes you feel l ike “I ’m not good enough”?

Write your answer or say it out loud.

That’s right. Your mind and its interpretation. You felt “I’m not good enough” because that’s the meaning you had already given to your parents’ behavior.


And you knew for sure what happened. I knew for sure. My dad became angry with me, slapped me on my mouth and then begged my silence and forgiveness. That’s what really happened.

But I gave it meaning. And what did it have to do with my not being good enough? Absolutely nothing!

What if I had decided to interpret it as “Gosh, dad’s got unreasonable expectations of us as kids learning and exploring and that’s why he was annoyed with us.” It’s got nothing to do with whether I’m good enough or not.

Truth is if I were a child who was thinking smarter, I would have experienced that event totally different and not because I wasn’t good enough.

Now the final step in processing and eliminating an unworkable belief like “I’m not good enough.”


Give New Meaning to Old Imagine your original scene and give it another meaning. Does

i t st i l l feel as if your parents’ behavior and comments are making you feel that “I ’m not good enough”?

Rewrite the scene and answer the question out loud.

Does it still feel that “I’m not good enough”? Probably not. And if you didn’t feel that then, would you have now? No


We form beliefs to give meaning to events that have no real meaning.

We then think we observe the meaning in the events themselves. And we remind ourselves over and over of the meaning in an old meaningless event.

It’s only in our minds. It was never a fact.

Knowing this gives permission for the meaning to disappear.


SummaryThe first place is investigating our beliefs that hold us back.

What are they and where did they come from?

Then it’s up to us to let them go and move ahead with the successes in our lives that are important to us.

We have to learn to make different interpretations about our careers, our relationships, our loves.

We form beliefs. That’s life. But we can create the ones we want and let go of the ones we don’t. Beliefs determine our life and now you know which beliefs will make your life work well and which suck!

You have tools and you have choice. That’s how to eliminate unworkable beliefs. Now say this out loud.

I create my Beliefs. My Beliefs determine what I do and how I feel. Therefore, I create my l i fe and I can change it. I take my power back and mold my l i fe as I deem! (and so it is)


More Ideas For YouMore Ideas To Begin Your Journey

1. Get yourself an accountability partner. You can have all the skill support and invest in all the practical aspects of building your business. But if you don’t have accountability, encouragement or emotional support, you will stall and quit when you don’t really have to.

2. Practice staying focused. Get centered, maintain your own space and pace allows you to create clarity to attract your ideal clients and keep growing your base.

If you need to, manage your moods and have support to determine which work and which destroy your success. You emotions tell all – listen to them and respond appropriately. How do you manage a mood? Give it space! Allow yourself to totally feel it!

4. Get ready to feel more comfortable and confident that you are expressing your real talents. That also means, you discover your authentic USP and core value you have to offer to your client. What’s the best part about your?! Share it! Because, after all that’s said, written and done, who’s the most powerful person on earth? You Are!


Distorted ThoughtsDistorted Thoughts Reality Check

Worksheet

Thought Distortion Reality Check

“People don’t want to speak with me.”

1. All or nothing thinking2. Overgeneralization3. Mental filter

I’ve spoken with many people over the years and lots speak with me!

“If only I was better at my job, prospects would keep their appointments with me.”

4. Discounting the positive

5. Jumping to conclusions

6. Magnification7. Emotional reasoning8. Should statements9. Labeling10. Personalization and

blame

Personalization and emergency and will probably reschedule.


Distorted ThoughtsDistorted Thoughts Reality Check

Worksheet

Thought Distortion Reality Check

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If You Are Hesitating A Little..Well, I can tell you right now, you will be surprised how simple the process could be.

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Patricia



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About Patricia OgilvieFor more than a decade, Patricia Ogilvie, Certified

Business Coach, has helped hundreds of small business owners transform their ideas, services and products into viable online businesses.

What she found was there are a lot of people, maybe you’re one of them, who put added pressure and stress onto themselves when building deeper and relevant business relationships.

That’s what business is all about -- building relationships! But why does it have to be stressful?

Patricia guides you from the inside out by teaching unique, simple tools to unlock your fears, frustrations and release your subconscious limiting beliefs that could be getting in the way of your business success. Then you get to work on the marketing content with a pure, clear vision and intent.

For business success strategies and support to take your power back, visit Patricia Ogilvie at www.patriciaogilvie.com

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Become a More Powerful Person With How to Trust