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1 June 2012 THE VOICE OF PENSIONERS AND SUPERANNUANTS OF NSW THE VOICE OF PENSIONERS AND SUPERANNUANTS OF NSW Print Post Approved PP235387100064 ISSN 10353615 June 2012 A new report says that 90,000 Australians are homeless. Some senior hostels seem set to take 85% of the new Clean Energy Supplement, bringing the rent to a total of 92% of the Pension. After six ‘irregular’ deaths in NSW boarding houses, finally some action is being taken by the NSW Government, which is still tossing up whether it will take 25% of the Clean Energy Supplement off pensioners in public housing. The legislation for residential parks is being reviewed, but there is concern that residents’ voices will be drowned out by park owners’ voices. CPSA, after its successful No Flogging the Family Home for a Nursing Home campaign is shifting its focus to affordable and secure housing. 90,000 HOmElESS AND SENIORS HOSTEl RENTS AT 92% OF PENSION IN THIS ISSUE How much will you pay for aged care? Page 10 The Pension and Newstart: poor and poorer Page 12 Are you eating well? Page 12 and much, much more Pensioner Herbert German campaigns against homelessness at Central Station

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Page 1: THE VOICE - June 2012

1 June2012 THEVOICEOFPENSIONERSANDSUPERANNUANTSOFNSW

THE

VOICEOF PENSIONERS AND SUPERANNUANTS OF NSWPrint Post Approved PP235387100064 ISSN 10353615 June 2012

A new report says that 90,000 Australians are homeless. Some senior hostels seem set to take 85% of the new Clean Energy Supplement, bringing the rent to a total of 92% of the Pension. After six ‘irregular’ deaths in NSW boarding houses, finally some action is being taken by the NSW Government, which is still tossing up whether it will take 25% of the Clean Energy Supplement off pensioners in public housing. The legislation for residential parks is being reviewed, but there is concern that residents’ voices will be drowned out by park owners’ voices. CPSA, after its successful No Flogging the Family Home for a Nursing Home campaign is shifting its focus to affordable and secure housing.

90,000HOmElESSANDSENIORS

HOSTElRENTSAT92%OFPENSION

INTHISISSUEHow much will

you pay for aged care?

Page 10

The Pension and Newstart:

poor and poorerPage 12

Are you eating well?

Page 12

and much,much more

Pensioner Herbert German campaigns against homelessness at Central Station

Page 2: THE VOICE - June 2012

2 June2012 THEVOICEOFPENSIONERSANDSUPERANNUANTSOFNSW

CPSAExecutive(as at 2.11.2011)

Grace Selway OAM CPSA President

Bob JayCPSA Secretary

Betty ChamberlainCPSA Treasurer

Bill HollandSenior Vice PresidentAssistant Treasurer

George RayVice President

Sue LatimerAssistant Secretary

Shirley BainsMargaret Craven-ScottJim GraindaMarie Mihell Colin VernonBarbara Wright

THEVOICEOF PENSIONERS AND SUPERANNUANTS OF NSW

Phone: 1800 451 488Fax: (02) 9281 9716Email: [email protected]: Amelia Christie, Antoine Mangion & Paul VersteegePrinter: MPD, Unit E1, 46-62 Maddox Street, Alexandria NSW 2015

All content prepared by the editorial and production team with reference to stories on AAP newswire, unless indicated.

THE VOICECPSA, Level 9, 28 Foveaux StSurry Hills NSW 2010

Disclaimer

No responsibility is accepted for the accuracy of information contained in advertisements or text supplied by other organisations or individuals and/or typographical errors.

CPSA does not support or promote the products or views in paid advertising.

lettersCongratulations on saving the family homeTHE RETIRED Teachers Association congratulates CPSA for its success in saving the family home from being included in the asset test for admission to a nursing home. Alone among all seniors’ organisations, CPSA, through THE VOICE, has been responsible for a consistent campaign against the selling or mortgaging of homes.

Allan West, Honorary Secretary,

NSW Retired Teachers Association

Not wasting our timeOUR GROUP has worked tirelessly for over twelve years to have dental care covered by Medicare. So far we haven’t achieved our goal, but with the announcement of the $345.9 million dollars over three years to reduce the waiting lists, we feel our time hasn’t been wasted.

It was gratifying to see the Illawarra Dental Health Action Group mentioned in Federal Parliament on 9 May, by the Minister for Health, Tanya Plibersek, for the work we have done in bringing the plight of the thousands of people suffering dental problems to the Government’s attention. The Minister for Throsby, Stephen Jones, arranged a meeting for representatives of our group to meet with the Minister for Health last month. She was very receptive to what we had to say and gave us almost an hour of her time. I would like to thank Stephen for arranging the meeting in his office. We were planning a trip to Canberra, but being a group of aged pensioners with limited funds, it saved us both time and money. As a group we intend to stay around for the long haul, that is, until we finally get

what we set out to do, and that is to have Dental included in Medicare.

Alice Scott, Chairperson,Illawarra Dental Health

Action Group

Is climate change like rail services?The best documentary I’ve seen in a long time, starring arch enemies Anna Rose and Nick Minchen excelled in that it forced the two most extreme opposite views to be exchanged and amazingly, both of them did change their views about climate change. So back to the Hunter/Central Coast passenger rail services into Newcastle – we have an identical situation. Group One tells their listeners that the heavy rail is a barrier to development in the Newcastle CBD. They promise that if heavy rail is removed all decrepit buildings in Hunter Street will suddenly become elegant again and all business people

Donations,Bequests,membershipandTHEVOICEsubscriptions

membershipisopentoallwhosupporttheaimsandobjectivesofCPSA

I’d like to renew my Membership or join CPSA as a Member and enclose my individual Membership fee of $12 (Includes a free annual subscription to THE VOICE, valued at $25.00). I agree to be bound by the CPSA Constitution and uphold the Objectives and Policies of CPSA. I support the CPSA Objectives. I have not previously been expelled from CPSA or, if I have been expelled, I have attached a copy of my CPSA Executive exemption. Please send me information about my nearest Branch. I do not wish to join CPSA but would like to subscribe to THE VOICE (1 year—$25.00 incl. GST). I belong to an organisation and would like information about how we can become a Branch or an Affiliate of CPSA. (NB: Branches are covered by CPSA’s $10 million Public Liability Insurance). I wish to make a donation of $______ (All donations above $2 are tax deductible). Please send me information about THE VOICE gift subscriptions. I wish to make a bequest to CPSA in my Will. Please send me information.Name:_____________________________________________________________________________Address:__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________State:_____________Postcode:__________Phone: ______________________________Email:_________________________________________Payment details (for credit card): Visa Mastercard Name on card:__________________________Card Number:___________________Expiry:_________Amount:______________________ Signature:_____________________________________________

Please send to: CPSA, Level 9, 28 Foveaux St, Surry Hills NSW 2010

Letters are personal views only and do not necessarily reflect CPSA policy. Ed.

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June2012 www.cpsa.org.au 1800451488 3

who have escaped into the suburbs will sell their remote properties and return to Newcastle. They declare that the rail service is holding up road traffic particularly in Stewart Avenue. They say heavy rail is unsightly and assert that if they replace it with light rail, traffic problems will go away. This group’s apparent motivation is to become wealthier at the expense of the taxpayer and commuters. Group Two says that by returning the seven crossings that were removed, the rail wouldn’t be a barrier. Nobody can explain the connection between the decrepit buildings becoming new and the suburban business people returning as a result of removing the rail. It seems odd that Group One hasn’t noticed that when the rail isn’t running at all (such as during track-work), the delays in Stewart Avenue are unchanged or worse. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. It seems Newcastle rail is just as beautiful as it is anywhere else in the country. It could be much more attractive if the money wasted on trying to get rid of it had been spent on making it more beautiful. The cost of a few crossings and landscaping would be insignificant compared to the cost of removing it and adding in many buses and or light rail. But surely the government has so much money it doesn’t matter? Group Two consists mainly of public transport commuters, small businesses and environmentalists. NBN TV could earn a Logie for itself if it pursued this subject clinically on the same template as the climate change debate.

George Paris,Rathmines, NSW

Smart MetersBEING in the renewable energy industry, I am still amazed that there is so much misinformation about smart meters out there and how 90 per cent of Australians, from my own experience, base their own decisions on this misinformation and do not move forward. Smart meters are simply time-of-use meters. They recognise the different times that power is being used and charge accordingly over a 24 hour period, each and every day, including weekends. Every electricity retailer provides this time of use pricing information on their websites or you can find out by calling them and asking what the charges are at different times of the day. Retired people (who are home for most of the day), consume electricity during peak price times and may not benefit from time-of-use pricing. But as consumers, we can decide how we are charged and the electricity company can change the meter back to the normal charge simply by reprogramming the meter and the issue is solved. Now if the retailer will not do this,`x then change to a retailer that will. Generally it is the distributor, such as Energy Australia (now named Ausgrid), that will reprogram the meter. If you do not ask then nothing will happen. Plus ask for a discount. Most people do not ask.

Con AmvrazisADS Solar

While THE VOICE supports the above recommendations, customers should be aware of possible binding contracts that prevent them from ‘shopping around’. A lack of available retailers in some areas is also a problem. Ed.

letters

By post: THE VOICE, CPSA Level 9, 28 Foveaux StSurry Hills NSW 2010

By email:[email protected]

You must include your name and suburb/town for the letter to be published, though these may be omitted in publication if the letter contains personal information. Letters may be edited for length and clarity.

SendalettertoTHEVOICE

CPSA - who we areCPSA was founded in 1931 in response to pension cuts. CPSA is a non-profit, non-party-political membership association which serves pensioners of all ages, superannuants and low-income retirees. The aim of CPSA is to improve the standard of living and well-being of its Members and constituents.

CPSA Branch welcoming Members

The Foveaux Street Branch meets to discuss CPSA policy and campaigns at 10.15am on the second Friday of the month at CPSA Head Office. If you are interested in participating, please call CPSA on 1800 451 488.

Melva’s contribution recognised by councilBy The Young Witness 28 March, 2012MELVA Cloake is a familiar face to the people of the CPSA Young Branch, and enjoyed a moment in the spotlight after being announced as the joint winner of the Young Shire 2012 Senior of the Year. Mrs Cloake was named as the female winner during Seniors Week celebrations at the Young Town Hall. At the time, Mrs Cloake was at a family engagement in Queensland and knew nothing about the award. She didn’t even know she’d been nominated. “I got a phone call saying congratulations and I was like what for? What did I do?” Mrs Cloake said. “I didn’t know what to say but it is very lovely that people thought enough of me to nominate me,” she said. Over the years Mrs Cloake has held executive positions with Young CPSA but now she’s enjoying the social side of the organisation. “We do a bus trip every month – it’s a nice way to get out of the house, meet new people and have fun,” she said. Mrs Cloake believes interacting organisations like CPSA are essential for senior citizens. “I first moved to Young from the lower mountains in Sydney eight years ago and there was an open day and my husband said at the time let’s go and have a look and we did,” she said. And since that day Mrs Cloake has been involved, even taking on the president’s role. “I would like to thank the person who nominated me, it really is such a privilege to receive this, I definitely didn’t expect it,” she said.Young Shire’s 2012 Female

Senior of the Year, Melva Cloake

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members’page

Crosswordby Hilda Thorburn

THE e-VOICE is available free on the internet. Visit our website, www.cpsa.org.au, and sign up at

THE VOICE - Subscribe

Donations

CPSA is grateful for all donations. Due to lack of space, the following only includes donations above $35 received since the last edition of THE VOICE:

Guildford CPSA $150E. Traynor $50

Across 1. Devices for producing videos, etc (4,9) 8. Bygone cult figure (4,4) 9. Spiritual retreat 10. Winners & losers at Flemington11. Sea levee12. Small chicken14. Beloved by17. Unit of length20. Drain away (3,3)23. Melody24. Wish expressed to departing friends (4,6)25. Now Beijing26. Sundry items27. Memorably

Down

1. NZ lizard-like reptile 2. Hospital inmate 3. Large male kangaroo (3,6) 4. Huge stadium in Italian capital (9,2,4) 5. Streets 6. Egg-laying mammal 7. Glitter13. Carp15. Bring into disrepute16. 17th Greek letter18. Art ..., late 19th cent. style19. Lawman21. Food or seasoning plant22. Initially24. Sweetener

Answers on back page

CPSA Constitution

THE CPSA Constitution with updates from the 2011 AGM is now available on our website. Visit www.cpsa.org.au and click ‘About Us’. If you would like a copy sent to you, call Head Office on 1800 451 488.

Condition of CPSA Membership

According to the NSW Associations Incorporation Act 2009 (Schedule 1, clause 11(1)(a) and Appendix 1 based on Clause 3(1)), it is a condition of your ongoing CPSA membership that you agree to comply with CPSA’s Constitution including Aims & Objectives.

If you have any questions or would like a copy of the Constitution, please call Head Office on 1800 451 488. The Constitution is also available at www.cpsa.org.au.

CPSA MerchandiseBadgesMembership : pin $4.50Membership: magnet $4.50Title Bar* + pendant $9.00Title Bar* $5.00Pendant $4.00(*except Welfare Officer $10.15Asst Soc. Sec.) $16.15CardsMembership card $0.10Waratah card $1.00Card wallet $3.30Certificate (80/90 years/Appreciation) $1.10Emergency medical information book $2.00Leather key ring $5.50Letter opener: silver $10.00Do Not Knock Sticker - single sticker FREE - bulk order $1.00 eachTea caddy spoon $4.40

Please add postage to all items.

CPSA Honour Board

The CPSA Honour Board, generously donated by the Penrith Seniors & Pensioners’ Club, is proudly displayed in Head Office’s reception area.

The Honour Board acknowledges bequests made by CPSA Members.

If you are thinking of making or updating your Will and would like information about making a bequest to CPSA so your name can be added to the Board, please contact Head Office on 1800 451 488.

Whatever the size of the bequest, it all helps fund CPSA’s campaigns. Go to Page 5 to read about another CPSA supporter.

Head Office News

Head Office News is sent to all Branch Secretaries, Presidents and Treasurers with the instruction to read it aloud to the Branch meeting.

Every Branch Member is also entitled to receive a copy.

If you would like a copy, please call Head Office on 1800 451 488.

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June2012 www.cpsa.org.au 1800451488 5

Village Owners pilfer Carbon Compo

IT SEEMS everyone wants their piece of the pie that is the Clean Energy Advance and Supplement. Last month THE VOICE reported on the NSW Government considering whether they should assess the payment when calculating public and community housing rents. This was despite other supplements, such as the Pensioner Supplement, not being assessed for rents. At the time of writing the NSW Government still hadn’t confirmed its position despite its claimed concerns about the effect of carbon pricing on the cost of living, leaving thousands of tenants worried and in a state of uncertainty. It’s now come to light that some hostel-style facilities also seem to want their piece by including the Clean Energy Supplement in their rents. In these facilities, residents pay approximately 85 per cent of their pension in exchange for accommodation and meals but still have to pay electricity, water usage and

all other living expenses. One pensioner living in a seniors hostel on the NSW North Coast recently told CPSA that they were going to be charged $651.20, which is 85 per cent of the single full rate fortnightly pension, including the Pension Supplement and the Clean Energy Supplement of $13. This pensioner’s 85 per cent of total pension rent is charged to cover residential costs and meals, except those killer electricity bills and other living exprenses. As THE VOICE reported

last month, electricity will be the largest contributor to increased costs people will face because of the carbon tax. Somehow, this pensioner (and many others in similar residential settings) are meant to cover this huge jump in power bills with only 15 per cent of the compensation allotted. Many people know and view dimly the fact that people in nursing homes must pay 85 per cent of their pension towards accommodation charges. At least this is a proportion of

the base rate of their Pension, which excludes the Pension Supplement, and they don’t directly pay for electricity. If one compares this pensioner’s situation with that of a nursing home resident, this pensioner is paying 92 per cent of the base rate of their Pension and must still cover other expenses. CPSA contacted the North Coast Seniors Living facility discussed here as well as many others to ask their stance on the matter but all declined to comment or did not return our calls.

CPSACampaigns

I have been a Member of CPSA since 1988 and worked in various Executive roles (Branch, Area Council, Head Office) for over twenty years.

I joined because I wanted to participate in the meetings. I kept coming because I felt I could contribute to the welfare of the aged in my district. I was “aged” at that time, too, (50 years young back then) and I didn’t know of any other aged associations. There are lots of frail aged services now, but back then, there might have been the services but nobody knew about them. The information just wasn’t there. I wanted to help other CPSA Members find out about the services that were available.

I feel that CPSA is the only association where you get an unbiased answer to your questions. Because the Members are more important than favour with the government. Because it’s run by Members and for Members. Because

everything is done with the Members’ interests in mind.

CPSA looks after the interests of those who are unable to look after themselves. Aside from that, there is such a variety of things going on in society which affect pensioners & superannuants, that just aren’t “interesting” to the media. Without CPSA, we wouldn’t be aware of them, let alone be able to oppose (or support) them. CPSA is able to deal with these issues on our behalf and inform us.

I have satisfaction knowing that I’m protected by CPSA: I’m informed of government & other authorities’ proposed changes, I know how they’ll affect me, and I know CPSA is out there campaigning on my (and your) behalf. For example, CPSA is the only organisation protesting the Productivity Commission’s recommendations that we have to sell our homes to pay for

aged care.

Like most pensioners, I don’t have a lot of income to spare, but I use my contacts in the community to encourage new people to join CPSA, and to get other organisations to make donations to CPSA, to keep our work going. I have a will, but it’s out of date and the cost of making or updating a will can be expensive. I’m looking forward to CPSA’s free wills service. I hope to be one of the first CPSA Members to use this service. I’m going to update my will and support CPSA through a bequest. I’ve supported CPSA for almost 25 years through my voluntary work. My bequest will continue that after I’ve gone. I believe in CPSA’s work because CPSA is bigger than any individual, and for that reason I prefer to make my donation anonymous.

Why I support CPSA

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Homelessness high among those on Centrelink payments

IN APRIL, the Australian Institute of Health and Welfare (AIHW) released new findings about homelessness around the country, shedding light on the clients who seek assistance from homelessness services and the services they receive. The report, Specialist Homelessness Services Collection: first results, revealed that over 90,000 people received assistance from homelessness agencies between July and September last year. Of those clients, half were under the age of 25 and eighteen per cent were under ten. The report was the first time AIHW had reported individual children as clients and found that in total, at least one-third of people seeking assistance were either with children or were children themselves.

Large proportions of clients sought assistance for getting into short-term housing (32%), transitional housing (23%) and long-term housing (26%). One-fifth also sought help to prevent an eviction or failure to meet a tenancy agreement. Perhaps unsurprisingly, but no less concerning, the majority of clients were on Centrelink payments, including Newstart allowance (19%), the Parenting Payment (18%) and the Disability Support Pension (15%). The results highlight the difficulty of making ends meet when on a very low income, faced with difficult or dangerous home situations or made worse by complex and costly health conditions. The report notes some small improvement in some aspects, including a small decrease in the number of people who had no dwelling, as well as an increase in the proportion of clients renting

in social housing. Most of all, however, it highlights the diversity of people experiencing homelessness and the significant work that still needs to be done in alleviating the problem. Another study conducted by Anglicare found that only 0.6% of rental properties advertised in Greater Sydney were affordable for those on a Centrelink payment so it’s hardly surprising that with the long wait lists for social housing, many are struggling to find adequate accommodation options.

Boarding house crackdown announced

BOARDING house operators in NSW have been told to clean up their act. In light of the deaths of six residents of a boarding house in Sydney’s inner west between June 2009 and July 2010, an overhaul of boarding houses across the

state has been announced. The coroner described residents as being “uncared for, poorly treated medically and neglected’’, spurring the NSW Government to address the highly unregulated system. Under the proposed changes, put forward by Minister for Ageing and Disability Services Andrew Constance, residents will be given greater occupancy rights. These will include the right to clean premises and to notice of eviction. These are just some of the things that are lacking under the current system which does not specify how properties should be maintained. Due to outdated legislation in place, it is perfectly legal for one shower to cater for 25 residents and for basic maintenance to not be undertaken. Currently, 600 of the state’s 630 boarding houses are unlicensed. They cater to thousands of people on

CPSACampaigns

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low incomes, with many housing people with mental and intellectual disabilities. The announced changes will require all boarding houses to register with Fair Trading. Under the changes, all staff will also be required to undergo periodic criminal record checks and Government workers will also be given enhanced powers to monitor the welfare of residents. Operators who do not meet the new standards will face penalties of up to $11,000 for individuals or $22,000 for corporations. At present the fine for mistreating or neglecting a resident is $500. CPSA welcomes the move and the additional protection for residents it will provide.

Postcard to protect vulnerable residents

PEOPLE who live in residential parks can rent but most own a van or a manufactured home. All however, rent the land that they’re on. The Residential Parks Act is currently under review so there’s a rare opportunity to let the Government know what changes are necessary in order to protect the rights of people who live in residential parks. Submissions have been lodged to the review and NSW Fair Trading received over 800 from individual residents, groups, the residential parks industry and Local Councils. The Government knows what people are saying but often only listen to those who are the loudest. At the moment, the residential parks industry is coming through loud and clear. The industry’s interests and those of residents are not always aligned and so residents need

your support. Residents have told CPSA’s Park and Village Service (PAVS) that the three most important issues are:• Reversing the onus of proof

in rent increase matters. It is currently almost impossible for residents to prove that a rent increase is excessive. Residents don’t have access to essential information such as the park owner’s outgoings and costs.

• Removing the “principal place of residence” test.

A resident who signs a residential site agreement at the start of their tenancy should be covered by all of the rights provided by the Residential Parks Act until such time as the agreement is ended. In the case of deceased estates, all of the rights of the resident should be passed on to the inheritor, along with the obligations.

• Ensuring park operators are suitably educated and licensed. Training park operators would improve communication and reduce misunderstandings between operators and residents.If park operators were required to be licensed, having something tangible to lose would encourage compliance with the law and standards in parks would improve.

Other important issues relating to residential parks are detailed in PAVS’s submission to the review, and also in recent issues of Outasite and Outasite Lite. These publications can be found in the PAVS section of our website at www.cpsa.org.au/pavs or obtained by phoning PAVS on 1800 177 688. If you live in a residential park, or care about those who do, please sign and send the enclosed postcard to your NSW MP. If you don’t know

who that is, call CPSA Head Office on 1800 451 488 for assistance.

Authorities remain slack on lonely deaths

CPSA WAS contacted by a Member who lives in public housing in Abbottsford in Sydney’s Inner West. He hadn’t seen his neighbour for some time. He describes his neighbour as a “hermit”, so he didn’t immediately twig there might be something wrong. But after a while he did, because his neighbour’s balcony door and kitchen window had remained open overnight for a few days. He decided to sound the alarm and rang 000 on a Saturday in April. 000 put him through to Burwood police station, where he was told that police needed permission from family or Housing NSW to go into his neighbour’s apartment. He tried to contact Housing NSW, but it was the weekend. He could not contact anyone. On the following Monday, he rang Housing NSW in Burwood, but he says they refused to put him through to the relevant manager. He sent them a fax instead. At around 5pm that Monday, while nothing was happening, he decided to ring Housing NSW in Ashfield, where he got a better response: they alerted police and the fire brigade. They discovered that the tenant was dead. They also discovered that the power to the unit and also the phone had been cut off. It is obvious that, despite a number of the lonely death stories breaking over the past few years, the authorities still haven’t got their act together to prevent recurrences of

people lying dead in their house for prolonged periods of time. In this case, power and phone had been cut off, sure signs that there might be something wrong. And where was Housing NSW in all this? Shouldn’t there be a seven-day-a-week, 24 hour hotline for this? Shouldn’t 000 offer a better response than just putting the notifier through to a police station?

Attention pensioners and seniors: carbon tax compo entitlement

THERE seems to be some confusion around what’s happening with the carbon tax compensation so we thought we had better set the record straight. Pensioners will receive a lump sum payment by the end of June (the exact date varies between pensioners). They will begin receiving the regular Clean Energy Supplement with their fortnightly pension in March 2013. Eligible self-funded retirees, like pensioners, will receive a Clean Energy Advance payment of $250 for singles or $190 for each member of a couple. This advance will be paid along with the quarterly Seniors Supplement directly into people’s bank accounts. Those that have registered will receive this advance payment on 25 June. The trouble is, there are about 9,000 self-funded retirees who have not given their bank account details to Centrelink. For self-funded retirees who do not have a Commonwealth Seniors Health Care Card, a Low Income Supplement

CPSACampaigns

Continued page 10

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CPSAmemberBenefit

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CPSAConference2012CPSA Conference and Annual General Meeting

CPSA Conference (including the Annual General Meeting) is coming up again! It will be held at the Salvation Army, 140 Elizabeth St, Sydney on 30 & 31 October 2012. The deadline for agenda items is Friday 24 August 2012.

Every Member is invited (and encouraged) to attend Conference as an Observer. (A Delegate is able to speak and vote on motions. An Observer is not able to speak or vote on motions.) There will be guest speakers, policy discussion and the CPSA AGM. Members will be able to meet with other Members from all over NSW.

Meals and refreshments are included and transport by CountryLink rail and bus services is free for all non-Sydney Conference attendees. (In addition, Delegates’ accommodation can be reimbursed up to $110 per person per night.)

Registration forms will be circulated to all Branches, Area Councils and Affiliates. If you would like to register as an Observer, please contact CPSA Head Office on 1800 451 488. The deadline for registration is Monday 3 September 2012.

Many Branches are starting to think about who their Conference Delegates will be this year. Conference Delegates must be chosen by the Branch to represent the Branch. Most Branches do this by a simple ballot at a Branch meeting.

Everyone who is interested in going to Conference should nominate. Don’t let your Branch Executive or Committee decide this for you!

The number of Delegates a Branch can send depends on the number of Branch Members:

1 - 75 Members = 2 Delegates76 - 125 Members = 3 Delegates126 - 175 Members = 4 Delegates176 - 225 Members = 5 Delegates etc.

Are you interested in coming to Conference but don’t belong to a Branch, or haven’t been elected as a Delegate for your Branch? Why not consider representing another Branch instead? Lots of our Branches find the distance too great or Members’ health not up to the travel. Many of them would be delighted to have someone represent them. If you’re interested in representing another Branch, call Head Office for more information. There is no cost to your home Branch and costs to your other Branch are kept to a minimum.

On arriving in NSW from Queensland I made enquiries andfound that Engadine had a CPSA Branch for senior citizens. I immediately joined and the following week was invited to attend their Christmas luncheon. I happened to mention that I had helped organise bus trips and that all profits were donated to local charities at the end of each year.

Come Engadines’ AGM at the beginning of February I was roped in to be their travel organiser. Over the following years this led to me holding many Executive positions at the Branch. The next step was to be elected to the Area Council. Further on, the late Syd Doleman, asked me if I would be willing to stand for the CPSA Executive. In duecourse I was elected and once again have held many roles

under this hat.

Why do I love being on the CPSA Executive? My main reason is that I am fighting for a better future for all my fellow pensioners and superannuants. The CPSA Executive is a team of persons (with various ideas and opinions) working for everyone in ‘Branch land’.

With the assistance of our dedicated staff many things have been achieved over the years. Campaigns are ongoing and any help that is given either individually or as a Branch is most welcome.

Betty Chamberlain

In accordance with CPSA Constitution Rule 8.3.2 this announcement serves as the required notice in THE VOICE calling for nominations of candidates for election to CPSA Executive. Nominations must be:• submitted on the official form• signed by proposer, seconder and nominee• accompanied by a Curriculum Vitae• received before the deadline (outlined on the form) by the CPSA Returning Officer at 9 Gillis St, Dubbo NSW 2830

Nomination forms will be circulated to all Branches and Area Councils. If you would like a copy of the nomination form, please contact Head Office on 1800 451 488.

Why I joined the Executive?

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will be introduced for those who do not receive adequate assistance through the tax system or through Clean Energy payments. This will be a new annual $300 payment available from 1 July 2012. A person can receive one payment in an income year, based on their individual circumstances in the previous income year. To be eligible, people must earn less than $30,000 a year (or $45,000 a year for couples). Thresholds are higher for those with dependent children. To get extra assistance as soon as possible, details must be updated with Centrelink by calling 132 300.

How much is aged care going to cost you from 1 July 2014?

FIRST up, the Government has been talking about keeping people in their homes. This means that in future it should be easier to get what is now called a Community Aged Care Package, which is nursing home level care delivered in somebody’s own home. From 1 July 2014, these packages will be called Home Care Packages. This may confuse some people who are used to Home Care being delivered by or through the NSW Home Care Service. It is important to understand that this care will also be delivered as Federal Home Care Packages, attracting the same types and levels of fees and charges as nursing home level of care delivered in somebody’s own home. From 1 July 2014, you can be asked to make three types of contributions, depending on whether you receive home care or nursing home care.

It’s important to realise that everyone receiving care before 1 July 2014 will continue unchanged with their current arrangements.

Care at home – Age Pensioners For the new Home Care Packages, there are two fees. There is a basic fee, set at a maximum of 17.5 per cent of the single full rate Age Pension (excluding the Pension Supplement and the Clean Energy Supplement), or $60 a week ($3,135 a year). This is a maximum, and many people are not being asked to pay the maximum, because 17.5 per cent out of full rate pensioners’ budgets is simply not affordable. Currently, the average basic fee is $1,800 a year, or about $35 a week. On top of the basic fee, there can be a means-tested care fee. Full rate pensioners and pensioners with a total income up to $23,543 a year do not pay a care fee. The full rate single pension is currently $19,634. The basic fee is not covered by a lifetime maximum. However, single part-pensioners on a total income of more than $23,543 a year will be asked to pay a care fee of 50 cents for every dollar they receive over $23,543, but they cannot be asked to pay more than $5,000 a year, or $96 a week. This means that single part pensioners on incomes of $33,454 and over will be paying the maximum contribution, unless the actual cost of their care is less than $5,000 a year. No one will be asked to pay more than the cost of their care, and there is also a lifetime maximum of $60,000 for care fees, whether incurred as part of a Home Care Package or during a stay in a nursing

home, or a combination of both. For pensioner couples, it’s a similar story. The basic fee applies in the same way it applies to singles. The means-tested care fee applies at a rate of 25 cents for every dollar of the couple’s combined total income over $36,499 a year with a maximum of $5,000 a year (or $96 a week) combined. That annual maximum is reached at an annual combined income of $56,499. Self-funded retirees who miss out on a part pension because of the assets test are subject to the same arrangements as Age Pensioners.

Care at home – self-funded retirees Self-funded retirees who miss out on a part pension because of the income test will pay:• a basic fee of $3,135 as a

maximum;• a care fee of $5,000 a year

plus 50 cents for every dollar of income above the income level at which the Age Pension cuts out, but an annual maximum of $10,000 a year and a lifetime maximum of $60,000 apply.

Nursing home care There are three types of fees and charges for nursing home care:• the basic fee;• the accommodation fee;• the care fee.

Nursing home care – basic fee Everyone receiving care in a nursing home will be up for a basic fee of 85 per cent of the basic Age Pension. That’s currently $15,364 a year, or $295 a week. The increase from 84 to 85 per cent is justified by the Government by the expected increase in

the cost of living as a result of the carbon tax. Pensioners and self-funded retirees with incomes over $23,543 for singles and $23,075 for members of couples will be paying 50 cents for every dollar of income above those levels. They will also be paying:• 17.5 percent of the value

of their assets between $40,500 and $144,500

• 1% of the value of assets between $144,500 and $353,500;

• 2% of the value of assets above $353,500.

Nursing home care – accommodation fee For those whose income and assets make them ineligible for a full-rate pension, an accommodation fee will be charged, the full cost of which must reflect the cost of accommodation provided. The government’s modeling assumes that the maximum accommodation charge will be the same as the government subsidy to nursing homes for accommodation, which is an estimated $52 per day or $19,235 per year. People will have a choice as to how they pay for accommodation costs. For example, residents will be able to choose between an accommodation bond (without retention amounts – retention amounts will be abolished under these reforms), and a periodic payment. Residents will be given a cooling-off period to decide how they pay for their accommodation costs. Residential aged care providers will also have to insure any bonds held. Nursing homes will be able to charge more than this according to the quality of

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accommodation provided, following approval from the Aged Care Financing Authority (ACFA). However, ACFA will be looking at the quality of the building and its fit-out; it won’t be looking at the quality of care provided. Please note that a swanky nursing home is not necessarily a good place to live. Also, those people who can’t pay the full $52 accommodation fee are unlikely to be able to go into a nursing home that charges more than $52. Nursing homes that charge more than $52 a day will only be reimbursed up to $52 a day by the Government, so the nursing home’s preference will be for somebody that can afford to pay the full $52 and then some.

Nursing home care – care fee For those whose means extend beyond the full cost of accommodation, a care fee

will apply. The care fee will therefore kick in at the income level (calculated by adding real and deemed income) where the accommodation fee has been fully paid. It will be charged at 50 cents for every dollar over that limit. As in home care, this care fee cannot exceed the cost of care. The nursing home care fee is subject to an annual maximum of $25,000 and a lifetime maximum of $60,000.

Budget Breakdown

THE FEDERAL Budget has come and gone. Despite fierce campaigning, there was no increase in Newstart, which means that recipients, including the approximately 90,000 people over 50 who are long-term unemployed, continue on 65 per cent of the single Age Pension (or 72 per cent of a couple’s combined Age Pension). Spare a thought for long-

term unemployed people aged over 50: they have very low prospects of finding a job and will somehow have to get to pension age, which is 67 for some. CPSA welcomes the aged care measures announced by the Government. However, this is aged care funding reform, not reform of the appalling residential aged care sector. Increasing the number of community aged care packages is great, but ordinary homes are generally not designed for the frail aged. Without housing reform, the frail aged will still end up on the island of misery called a nursing home, with no prospect of improvements in the quality of care. Anyone thinking that aged care advocates are blinkered and misrepresentative when they criticise Australia’s nursing homes for providing poor care should read the diary of an elderly woman

who visited her husband daily to protect him from the “care” meted out to him and other residents. The diary, A Fly on the Wall, is 38 pages long and sums up precisely why nursing homes should be drastically overhauled and replaced by real “care”: http://www.agedcarecrisis.com/pdf/A-Fly-On-The-Wall.pdf . The increase in the tax rate for high income earners’ superannuation contributions is as an important first step in making superannuation more equitable. Superannuation tax rates should be set as a percentage of income tax rates, in line with the recommendations of the Henry Tax Review of a few years ago. The accelerated introduction of the National Disability Insurance Scheme (NDIS) and the support given by the Coalition is great news. The NDIS measures

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announced on Budget night represent a modest start, but is an ambitious step to systematically addressing the glaring inequities faced by people with disabilities, their families and their carers. The Government’s public dental health measures, particularly the immediate cash injection to reduce public dental health waiting lists, are welcomed. CPSA urges the Government to make the design and implementation of a universal dental care scheme the top priority for the remainder of this term. Given the current state of political play, readers of THE VOICE are reminded that the previous Government abolished the Commonwealth Dental Program, contributing to the blown-out waiting lists of today. Pensioners and Commonwealth Seniors Health Card holders who travel overseas should note that the Pension Supplement

and Seniors Allowance will not be available for time spent overseas in excess of six weeks (down from thirteen weeks). The Disability Support Pension cuts out altogether after six weeks overseas until you return to Australia.

Dole is too low, say Australians

MOST Australians believe the Newstart Allowance for the unemployed is not enough. That’s the findings of a recent survey conducted by The Australia Institute. Five hundred Australians were asked how much money a single adult needs to keep up with the current cost of living. People indicated that, on average, $454 per week is required. This is much more than the Age Pension, and nearly double the current Newstart amount. Respondents indicated that a single unemployed adult should receive $329 per week, $84 more than what

they actually get. It is becoming increasingly well known that Newstart has fallen so low that it traps people in poverty. People on the Pension are certainly doing it tough, but with Newstart increases only being indexed to CPI, it is far from keeping up with rising living costs. Unlike the Pension, male total average weekly earnings are not taken into account. The Government seems to have heard the public outcry for a rise, announcing a supplementary allowance for those on Centrelink allowances. This is to be paid as a lump sum, twice a year. The trouble is that it only amounts to an extra $4 a week. This is a slap in the face, particularly when a one-way bus ticket to a job interview can easily cost more than that. The only consolation is that this is at least a recognition that the payment is not enough. The supplement

amount will be $210 a year for singles and $175 for members of a couple. There is, however, some good news for newly unemployed people. The Budget announcement included fairer liquid asset tests, so people will no longer have to use all their savings before being able to access Centrelink benefits. The liquid asset test was almost doubled to $5,000 for singles and $10,000 for families.

Pensioners face malnutrition risk, says study, and what to do about it

NEW research suggests that one third of older Australians receiving home care are at risk of being malnourished, while one in five is underweight. The study assessed people aged 65 plus, living at home, over a three month period and found that older Australians are struggling to afford healthy food. Most were pensioners,

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reinforcing the well-known notion that it is extremely difficult to live adequately on the current payment rates. Not getting enough nutrients in your diet increases your chances of early admission to a nursing home or hospital, said dietician, Georgie Rist, who led the Melbourne-based study. So what can you do about it? Well, the key thing to do is to eat as much fresh fruit and vegetables as possible. And if the price tags on these are

too much of a stretch, frozen varieties can be almost as good. Another key aspect to maintaining a healthy lifestyle for both mental and physical health is physical activity. It has been known to reduce the risk of osteoporosis, stave off dementia, depression and anxiety while increasing self-esteem. Thirty minutes of exercise such as walking or cleaning on most days is what’s recommended and it doesn’t have to be done in a block but

can be broken up throughout the day. Sedentary levels increase with age, with 57 per cent of those over 75 not doing enough physical activity. The Heart Foundation run a couple of programs to engage older people in physical activity. One great initiative is their walking program. It’s free, social and caters to a variety of fitness levels. To see if your area already has a walking group, or to set one up, call the Heart Foundation.

Another program on offer is the Heart Moves program which offers fitness classes run by trained and licensed leaders. These are often held in community halls and involve doing exercises that mirror activities in daily life to music. There are supported options available and exercises can be done while seated. There is usually a fee involved in this program, around $5 to $10 a class. Again, contact the Heart Foundation on 1300 362 787 to find out more.

HealthInfo

IT IS one of the biggest health issues within our community, but one we rarely talk about. Millions of Australians are living with incontinence but most people are reluctant to discuss the problem with anyone, including their GP. That is why events such as World Continence Week, June 24-30, which aim to raise awareness and prompt conversation about the issue, are so important. The significance of informing older Australians of the facts - and dispelling the myths - about bowel and bladder control cannot be overstated, especially for those aged over 75, with more than 40 per cent of this age group affected by incontinence. While it is true that ageing causes changes to the lower urinary tract, this does not necessarily lead to incontinence. Despite common belief, incontinence is not a natural part of ageing and can be prevented, cured or better managed. It is vital to understand and treat the underlying health issues that are causing incontinence.

More than 70 per cent of people affected by incontinence are women, with the life stages of pregnancy and menopause a major contributing factor. Men commonly experience incontinence as poor bladder control as a result of prostate-related problems and surgery. Given a quarter of the population lives with continence problems, and the enormous social and financial costs associated with this, bladder and bowel health can no longer be ignored. The Continence Foundation of Australia is the national peak body for continence promotion, management and advocacy. Its main priorities are raising community awareness about bladder and bowel health and the prevention of incontinence. With this in mind, the Continence Foundation is launching its Healthy Bladder and Bowel Habits campaign during World Continence Week.

The theme highlights the need for people to make bladder and bowel health a priority, to both manage and prevent continence problems. Under the slogan, Improve Your Bottom Line, Australians are being asked to adopt these five healthy habits to maintain or improve bladder and bowel control: Eat well: consume at least 30g of fibre daily;Drink well: limit caffeine, alcohol and fizzy drinks and consume 1.5-2litres of liquids daily (unless advisedotherwise by your doctor);Exercise regularly: aim to exercise for 30 minutes most days;Keep your pelvic floor toned: make sure your fitness routine includes pelvic floor safe exercises (learn moreat pelvicfloorfirst.org.au); andPractise good toilet habits: go when you need to and completely empty your bladder and bowel. There are many challenges

associated with incontinence and the need to prioritise continued funding into the prevention, treatment and management of this frequently dismissed condition. This is particularly important given the projected increase in the prevalence of incontinence – 6.5 million people by 2030 – and the growth of our ageingpopulation. The National Continence Helpline (freecallTM) 1800 33 00 66 is an Australian Government initiative managed by the C o n t i n e n c e Foundation of Australia. It is staffed by continence nurses who can provide information about bladder and bowel management, free resources and referrals to specialist clinics. For more information about any World Continence Week activities or resources, or for a Healthy Bladder and Bowel brochure, go to www.continence.org.au

Improve Your Bottom LineWorld Continence Week June 24-30

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HealthInfo

Sixty is the average age of women diagnosed with breast cancer in Australia. This may come as a surprise because so many media stories on breast cancer focus on the experiences of younger women, such as Belinda Emmett, Jane McGrath and Kylie Minogue. In fact, women under fifty are in the minority when it comes to breast cancer diagnoses. We know that, as well as being a woman, increasing age is one of the greatest risk factors for developing breast cancer. With our ageing population, more Australian women will experience breast cancer as part of growing older. In fact, statistics show that one in nine Australian women will be diagnosed with breast cancer in their lifetime. Every year 14,000 Australian women are diagnosed with breast cancer and just over half of all new breast cancer diagnosis are in women between 50 and 69 years of age. The good news is that survival rates are very good, and the majority of women go on to live long and fulfilling lives following their breast cancer diagnosis. Breast Cancer Network Australia (BCNA) is the peak national organisation for Australians personally affected by breast cancer. BCNA is connected with over 67,000 Australians around the country through our Beacon magazine, where women share stories of their and their families experience with breast cancer, practical tips that helped them through, with a strong focus on the positive elements of their journey with breast cancer. BCNA works to ensure

that women diagnosed with breast cancer, and their families, receive the very best information, treatment, care and support possible. While BCNA provides information to women, they also hear from women with breast cancer about the issues affecting them. Maxine Morand, BCNA CEO and breast cancer survivor, said BCNA is always listening to its members on issues that are important to them. “Through our events, online forum and various programs including our review and survey group, BCNA receives feedback from our members on the issues that follow a breast cancer diagnosis,” Maxine explained. “For example, we often hear from women that they are unprepared for the financial costs of breast cancer. There can be high out-of-pocket expenses even for women who have comprehensive private health insurance. Other issues raised include a lack of support for women’s emotional wellbeing, and that of their families. Women living in rural and regional areas often tell us about additional challenges facing them.” Last year, BCNA developed a special resource on sexual wellbeing after breast cancer in response to feedback from members, including many older women, that the issue was often overlooked by health professionals. Maxine Morand said BCNA knows from speaking to members that women with breast cancer want access to advice and information that is reliable and easy to

understand. “We know that women want more information, whether it be advice on how to talk to family and friends about breast cancer or information on how to take out travel insurance after breast cancer,’ she said. “BCNA has developed a wide range of free resources for women, from information kits through to an online network where women can swap information and support each other on their journey.” BCNA provides practical support to women with breast cancer through the My Journey Kit, a free, comprehensive information resource developed by women for women who are newly diagnosed with breast cancer. It contains useful and practical information and tips, and directs women to

many services and support networks they may need on their journey. BCNA also produces the My Care Kit, which includes a free post-surgery Berlei bra for women who have recently had breast cancer surgery; and Hope & Hurdles, an information resource for women with secondary breast cancer (where a woman’s breast cancer has spread to other parts of her body). BCNA members also receive a free quarterly magazine called The Beacon which includes information on research, treatment, support options, events and personal stories from women affected by breast cancer. For more information, to sign up to receive the Beacon, or to make a donation to support the work of Breast Cancer Network Australia visit www.bcna.org.au or call (freecall) 1800 500 258.

Living longer after breast cancerBy Breast Cancer Network Australia

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INCOmESECURITY

CentrelinkAge Pension 13 23 00

DSP/Carer benefits 13 27 17Family Assistance 13 61 50

Welfare Rights CentreInfo on Government pensions

and other benefits(02) 9211 53001800 226 028

National Information Centre on Retirement InvestmentsAnything for the small investor and people wondering about

super or how to invest1800 020 110

Financial Ombudsman Services

Complaints about banking, insurance, super, financial

planning 1300 780 808

Industry Fund FinancialPlanning

1300 138 848

Australian Taxation OfficeSuper/Lost super 13 10 20

Personal tax 13 28 61

British Pensions inAustralia

Assistance in claiming the British Pension(02) 9521 79641300 308 353

No Interest Loans Scheme1800 509 994

RIGHTS

Australian Human Rights Commission

Complaints about discrimination and

harassment 1300 369 711

Commonwealth Ombudsman

Complaints about Federal Government departments and

agencies 1300 362 072

NSW Ombudsman’s Office Complaints about NSW Government agencies

1800 451 524

NSW Trustee and Guardian1300 360 466

Guardianship TribunalFinancial management orders

for people with decision-making disabilities

1800 463 928

Seniors Information Service13 12 44

Consumer Trader & Tenancy Tribunal

Tenancy, trader and consumer disputes13 32 20

Energy & Water Ombudsman (EWON)

Complaints about all NSW electricity/gas retailers and Sydney and Hunter Water

1800 246 545

TelecommunicationsIndustry Ombudsman

Phone and internet complaints 1800 062 058

GOODSANDSERVICE

Telstra Pensioner DiscountFor basic plans only

1800 353 652

NSW Seniors CardDiscounts on goods and services 1300 364 758

NSW Companion CardFree event admission for

companions of eligible people with a disability 1800 893 044

IPART Energy ComparisonCalculator 1300 136 888

HEAlTHANDCARE

Commonwealth CareLinkInfo about aged and

community care 1800 052 222

Office of Hearing ServicesSubsidised hearing aids

1800 500 726

Dementia Helpline1800 100 500

Single-gender Ward Hotline For patients who wish

to be placed in a single-gender ward after 24hrs

hospitalisation1800 700 830

VisionCare NSWSubsidised spectacles

(02) 9344 4122 1800 806 851

Home Care Service NSWDomestic assistance, respite

and personal care 1800 044 043

Rape Crisis Centre24hours/7days 1800 424 017

Health Care Complaints Commission

NSW only (02) 9219 74441800 043 159

Carers NSWInformation, support

1800 242 636Emergency respite

1800 059 059

Aged care information lineResidential and community

aged care information1800 200 422

Aged Care Complaints Scheme

Complaints about residential and community aged care

1800 550 552

LifelineMental health support,

suicide prevention 13 11 14

Beyond BlueDepression and anxiety

information 1300 224 636

Public Dental Health Services

Call NSW Health for details(02) 9391 90001800 639 398

Medicare Enhanced Primary Care Dental Scheme

Call Medicare for details132 011

People with DisabilitiesAdvice for people with a

disability(02) 9370 31001800 422 016

Exit AustraliaInformation about euthanasia

1300 103 948

Dying with Dignity NSW(02) 9212 4782

Australian Men’s Shed

Association 1300 550 009

HOUSING

CPSA’s Older Persons Tenants’ Service (OPTS)

Individual advocacy(02) 9566 11201800 13 13 10

CPSA’s Park and Village Service (PAVS)

Individual advocacy for caravan parks and

manufactured homes villages(02) 9566 10101800 177 688

NSW Department of Housing

Info and applications1300 468 746

Tenants Advice LineMondays 3-6pm1800 251 101

lEGAl

The Aged-care Rights Service including Older Persons’ Legal ServiceAged care and retirement

village advocacy and information and legal advice

for older people.(02) 9281 36001800 424 079

Law AccessReferrals for legal help

1300 888 529

The Law SocietySolicitor and legal firm referrals

(02) 9926 03001800 422 713

Community Justice Centres Dispute resolution services

for minor matters 1800 990 777

Domestic Violence Advocacy Service

1800 200 526

Family Relationship Centres Relationship and separation information 1800 050 321

Office of the Legal Services Commissioner

Complaints about lawyers and conveyancers 1800 242 958

CPSAInformationDirectory

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Giggle Page

CrosswordSolutionsCrosswordonpage4

Penguins’ Day OutA truck driver is driving 200 penguins to Taronga Zoo when his truck breaks down on the motorway. The driver gets out and is looking at the engine when a second truck driver stops in front of him and asks if he needs help.

The penguins’ driver explains that he is taking the penguins to the zoo and asks if the other driver would take the penguins there. He agrees.

Some hours later, the second truck driver drives past the broken down truck, which is still waiting on the motorway. The penguins are still on the second driver’s truck and look happy.

“I thought I asked you to take those penguins to the zoo,” shouted the first driver. The second replied, “I did, but I had some money left, so we’re going to the cinema now.”

Old is when...

You don’t care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don’t have to go along.

You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of the police.

Bus Baby

A woman got on a bus, holding a baby. The bus driver said, “That’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen.” In a huff, the woman slammed her fare into the fare box and took a seat near the rear of the bus.

The man seated next to her said: “He’s a public servant and shouldn’t say things to insult passengers.”

“You’re right,” she said. “I think I’ll go back up there and give him a piece of my mind.”

“That’s a good idea,” the man said. “Here, let me hold your monkey.”

Key TroubleSeveral days ago as I left a meeting at a hotel; I desperately gave myself a personal pat down.

I was looking for my keys. Nope, they were not in my pockets. A quick search in the meeting room revealed nothing.

Suddenly I realised I must have left them in the car. Frantically, I headed for the parking lot.

My wife has scolded me many times for leaving the keys in the ignition.. My theory is that the ignition is the best place not to lose them.Her theory is that the car will be stolen. As I burst through the door, I came to a terrifying conclusion.

Her theory was right. The parking lot was empty.

I immediately called the police. I gave them my location, confessed that I had left my keys in the car, and that it had been stolen.

Then I made the most difficult call of all, “Honey,” I stammered; I always call her “honey” in times like these.

“I left my keys in the car, and it has been stolen.”

There was a period of silence. I thought the call had been dropped, but then I heard her voice.

“Idiot”, she barked, “I dropped you off!”

Now it was my time to be silent. Embarrassed, I said, “Well, come and get me.”

She retorted, “I will, as soon as I convince this policeman I have not stolen your car.”