Personally, I think you ought to forget about her that was then, this is now. The kid is OK forget about her. Let it go.

Fiona looked across the kitchen table at Ali, feeling too angry to answer.

Unwisely Ali kept talking. Youve got to realise the kid has her own life now. What do you want to do, disrupt that? I mean, come on . . .

My daughters name is Lorna.

Have you told J.J. about her?

Why would I tell him? Were only business partners.

I thought things were getting kind of cosy there, no?

No, hes looking after his investment and Im looking after mine. We both put a lot of money into the agency.

J.J. left the day-to-day running of the agency to Fiona. He only called in to her office every Friday to collect the rent and to take her out to lunch. She enjoyed the time she spent with him but she never allowed herself to forget that he was married, he had a family and he had a reputation. She was trying to build a life for herself in Dublin. She wasnt looking for trouble.

It had started shortly after Fiona arrived back in Ireland: this nagging need to find her daughter. The bustle of buying an apartment and settling in had kept her in overdrive. When that was finished, she felt empty. That disappointing reunion with her mother hadnt helped to fill the void. Building up her new business was demanding and exhausting. It only kept her busy, it didnt make her happy. She was out walking on Sandymount strand shortly after she moved into her apartment when she caught sight of a little girl who flashed past her on roller skates. A second later it registered: that could be Lorna. Maybe I have just seen my daughter.So, instead of being haunted by Luciano she would be haunted by Lorna. Now, she thought back to that little girl she had seen roller-skating along the tarmac walkway in Sandymount. That child would never know the floodgates she had opened. Fiona knew then she would have to find her daughter. The emptiness and the longing would not go away until she held her child in her arms as she had never been allowed to do. Oblivious of Ali now, Fiona remembered how she had watched that little girl skate out of sight. She remembered sitting down on a bench and staring out to sea. She saw yachts bobbing in the bay. Howth and Sutton basked in sunshine. Redrock glowed pink in the distance. To her right Killiney and Dalkey appeared impossibly cluttered. The old church spire in Dun Laoghaire rose elegantly above the layers of the living and the dead. She remembered that she had sat there for a long time as memories flooded her mind and brought her way back to the maternity hospital in Sligo, making her feel she was sixteen years old again and bereft.

What will they do with my baby, nurse?

You know your baby is going for adoption.

But I want to see her.

No, you cant see her, you know that. Shell be safe and cared for by people who are able to look after her.

Shes my baby. I want her.

Stop talking nonsense. Of course, if you had any sense you wouldnt be in this predicament. You should have thought, missy, you should have thought. Ali snapped her out of her daydream. What do you want a kid for anyway? Its not as if theres room in your life for an ankle biter! You spend all the hours God sends working.

Fiona, fiddling with a corkscrew, thought about skewering her with it.

Ali took a sip of wine. If you could borrow a kid, like you know, for a test drive, I bet youd be glad to give it back after an hour.

You know, Ali, youre a great woman for stating opinions as facts.

Maybe youre right. But I think its not a child you need, its a good man. Why dont we hit the town tonight and get ourselves a couple of blokes?

Silently Fiona vowed never to confide in Ali again. It made the pain worse. Unable to be supportive, Ali changed the subject to complain about the shortage of interesting, handsome, rich men in Dublin. Fiona feigned interest but was still lost in her own thoughts.

I can see youre miles away.

Fiona shrugged I suppose Ive a lot on my mind.

OK. Well, listen, Ill head off and we might get together later and see if we can cheer you up.

Grand, see you later.

(from SECRETS by Helen Soraghan Dwyer)Traducere

"Personal, cred c ar trebui s uite de ei - care a fost atunci, acesta este acum. Copilul este n regul - uita de ea. Lsai-l s plece. '

Fiona privi peste masa din buctrie la Ali, senzaie de prea suprat s rspund.

Nenelept Ali vorbea. "Ai s realizeze copilul are propria ei via acum. Ce vrei s faci, poate perturba asta? Adic, haide. . . '

"Numele fiicei mele este Lorna."

"Ai spus J.J. despre ea? "

"De ce l-a spune? Suntem doar parteneri de afaceri. "

"Am crezut c lucrurile au fost obtinerea fel de confortabil acolo, nu?"

"Nu, el se uit dup investiiei sale i caut dup a mea. Amndoi pus o mulime de bani n ageniei. "

J.J. a prsit conducerea de zi cu zi a ageniei de Fiona. El a chemat numai n biroul ei n fiecare vineri pentru a colecta chiria i s o ia la masa de prnz. Ea sa bucurat de timpul petrecut ea cu el, dar ea nu a permis sa s uitm c el era cstorit, avea o familie i a avut o reputaie. Ea a fost ncercarea de a construi o via pentru ea n Dublin. Nu a fost n cutarea pentru necazuri.

Aceasta a nceput la scurt timp dup ce Fiona ajuns napoi n Irlanda: aceast nevoie ciclitoare pentru a gsi fiica ei.Agitaia de cumpararea unui apartament i stabilindu-se n a pstrat-o n overdrive. Cnd a fost terminat, ea a simtit gol. Aceast reuniune dezamgitor cu mama ei nu a ajutat pentru a umple golul. Construirea noua ei afacere a fost solicitant i obositoare. Ea doar tinut ocupat ei, ea nu a fcut-o fericit. Ea a fost la plimbare pe Sandymount Strand la scurt timp dup ce sa mutat n apartamentul ei, atunci cnd ea zri o feti care fulger salvat-o pe patine cu rotile. O secund mai trziu a nregistrat: care ar putea fi Lorna. Poate c tocmai am vzut fiica mea.

Deci, n loc s fie bntuit de Luciano ea ar fi bntuit de Lorna. Acum, ea a crezut napoi la faptul c fetia a vzut roller-skating de-a lungul cii de evacuare asfalt din Sandymount. Acest copil nu va ti niciodat porile ea a deschis. Fiona tia atunci ea ar trebui s gseasc fiica ei.Golul i dorina nu va pleca pn cnd ea a avut loc copilul n brae ca ea nu a fost permis s fac.

Oblivious de Ali acum, Fiona amintit cum ea a privit fetia patina de vedere. i aminti aezat pe o banc i cu ochii la mare. Ea a vzut iahturi bobbing n golful. Howth i Sutton basked n soare. Redrock strluceau roz n deprtare. Pentru a dreapta ei Killiney i Dalkey aprut imposibil de aglomerat.Vechi turnul bisericii n Dun Laoghaire crescut elegant peste straturile de vii i cei mori. i aminti c a stat acolo mult timp ca amintirile inundate mintea ei i a adus drumul napoi spre maternitatea din Sligo, fcnd o s se simt ea a fost aisprezece ani din nou i lipsit.

"Ce vor face cu copilul meu, sor?"

"tii copilul se ntmpl pentru adoptare."

"Dar vreau s o vd."

"Nu, nu o putei vedea, tii asta. Va fi n siguran i ngrijit de oameni care sunt capabili s aib grij de ei. "

"E copilul meu. Am vrea. "

"Nu mai vorbi prostii. Desigur, dac ai avea nici un sens, nu ar fi n aceast situaie dificil. Trebuia s te gndeti, domnioar, trebuie s fi crezut. "

Ali ei rupt din vis cu ochii deschii ei. "Ce vrei un copil pentru oricum? Nu e ca i cum nu e loc n viaa ta pentru un escroc glezna! Ai petrece toate orele Dumnezeu trimite de lucru. "

Fiona, se ine de fleacuri cu un tirbuon, gndit skewering ei cu ea.

Ali a luat o nghiitur de vin. "Dac ai putea mprumuta un copil, ca stii, pentru un test drive, pun pariu c ar fi bucuros s-l dea napoi dup o or."

"tii, Ali, eti o femeie mare pentru preciznd opiniile ca fapte."

"Poate c ai dreptate. Dar cred c nu e un copil care avei nevoie, e un om bun. De ce nu ne-am lovit oraul n seara asta i a obine noi o pereche de baieti? "

Tcere Fiona a promis niciodat s aib ncredere n Ali din nou. Ea a fcut durerea mai ru. Imposibil s fie de susinere, Ali a schimbat subiectul s se plng de lipsa de interesante frumos, oameni, bogai n Dublin. Fiona simulat interes, dar a fost nc pierdut n propriile gnduri.

"Eu pot vedea c eti de mile departare."

Fiona ridic din umeri "Cred c am multe pe cap."

'BINE. Ei bine, ascult, voi capul si se am putea obine mpreun mai trziu i s vedem dac putem s te nveseleasc. "

"Grand, ne vedem mai trziu."

(de la SECRETS pe Helen Soraghan Dwyer) Gaura de viermede Costel Macovei

Cnd a nceput totul, nimeni nu cred c-i mai aduce aminte, dar asta e cu totul alta poveste. Nimeni nu ar fi bnuit c oraul nostru avea s devin cunoscut n lumea-ntreag nu datorit cureniei sau arhitecturii ci tocmai acestui insolit aspect. Statuile.Da, cineva avusese nstrunica idee s comande nite opere de art ieftine pn la dumping dac pot spune - cu care s mascheze imobilismul arhitectonic i gurile lsate de incultur i delsare. Lumea se mulumea s treac strada pe la col, pe zebr, fr s priveasc n stnga sau n dreapta, fr s comenteze, fr s apostrofeze, fr s mai ntrebe. Comunitatea se lsase n seama consiliului i acesta lua toate deciziile legate de urbe i citadini. Aa c atunci cnd prin diferite coluri sau piee aprur statuile mult lume nici nu realiz schimbarea, pur i simplu nu le bga n seam. Oare cum am putea sa-l numim? Oraul fr memorie, sau oraul cu memoria scurt sau oraul cu locuitori fr amintiri sau poate c avei dumneavoastr alte idei despre cum poate fi numit. Cert e c pn nu au nceput s se succead dispariiile i s se creeze vlva legat de aceste dispariii nimeni nu observ statuile.Da. Cineva din consiliu venise ntro zi cu propunerea de a achiziiona nite lucrri ieftine dar cu impact pentru a le plasa n diverse puncte alese pe baze statistice pentru a aduce un plus de ceva n viaa monoton a oraului. A fost cutat artistul, de fapt acest lucru nici nu a fost prea greu, pentru c la preurile propuse de Consiliu nu au fost prea multe nume care s liciteze proiectele. De fapt au fost doar dou nume cel puin aa susin legendele urbane i graffiti-urile pasajelor subterane. Cine au fost cei doi artiti nu se mai tie pentru c din pcate Consiliu nu a nregistrat nimic o coinciden stranie ai putea spune dar chiar aa s-a ntmplat. In diverse coluri ale oraului au fost amplasate postamentele aferente fiecrei sculpturi i astfel la intersecia strzilor Providenei cu ntmplrii a aprut un postament ciudat n form de limb ce susinea dou buze topite ntr-un O mare de tipar. O limb care nu ofenseaz, nu oripileaz i nici nu dezgust dar n acelai timp nici nu ofer prea multe informaii legate de buzele ramase ntr-o mirare continua. In piaeta Revoluiei a aprut o ureche imens crescut parc din pavaj dar de al crei postament era legat inseparabil tot canalul auditiv ca un pat i dac intrai prin pavilion ajungeai n acest canal auditiv transparent. La coltul strzii Opalescente cu strada Furtunii apruse un cub ca un zar numai ca nsemnele punctelor erau de fapt nite guri negre fr adncime, consisten sau temporalitate. Urma apoi o fntn artezian invers, dou palme care se ntretiau ca yin i yang, un obiectiv decamera foto imens care putea zoom-a apropiindu-se amenintor de cer, o gur de canal pus vertical, un cort, o scorbur ntr-un postament ncrustat cu inimioare, o fa de mas care vlurea obsesiv i ostentativ i mai erau nite lucrri periferice nu mai puin ciudate : o biciclet rsturnat, o borcan de miere cu capacul czut, o lantern, un fluier de arbitru i o umbrel cu dantel. Toat aceast niruire nu a fost fcut dect s v dea o idee despre ciudeniile acceptate de consilieri n contul acelor sume mizere de criz. Nimeni i nimic nu ar fi avut ceva de spus dac nu s-ar fi observat c n unele seri dinspre ureche se auzeau melodii jalnice sau de-a dreptul imunde, rar de tot cte o not suav i de cele mai multe ori curgea un amestec lptos de vulgar i incoerent. Dinspre limba aceea rou-vineie se mai auzeau cteodat vaiete sau strigate mirate i culmea, din ora ncepur s dispar complet cinii i pisicile vagaboande, ceretorii i au fost i hoteluri care au reclamat dispariia unor clieni da clieni care nchiriau camera, despachetau totul i apoi dispreau. Camerele de bagaje ale hotelurilor se umpleau ncet dar sigur de bagaje abandonate i tot mai mult lume venea n ora, se caza dup care disprea. Cazul a ajuns la urechile reporterilor, ziarele au preluat tirea i uite aa bulgrele avalanei odat pornit nu a mai putut fi oprit. Camere de control, care de televiziune, lume puhoi, interviuri, curioi, nebunie. Viaa cenuie a oraului a fost dat peste cap. Si nimic nu a mai fost ca nainte. Nimeni nu a putut spune ce se ntmpla de fapt. Nimeni nu a elucidat vreodat misterul (asta pn cnd Firus a intrat pe fir) i statuile i-au vzut mai departe de viaa lor pentru c nimeni nu s-a gndit s le dezafecteze. Din toat aceast afacere singurele care au avut de suferit au fost hotelurile. Fluxul de turiti a rmas constant. Oameni care se cazau, despachetau i dispreau pur i simplu. Tot mai mult lume credea c devenisem oraul sinucigailor, dar nimeni nu avea curajul s o declare public. La marginea oraului au nceput s apar una dup alta cldiri cu obiecte abandonate. Si ncet, ncet, oraul i-a schimbat forma, partea noua cu cldirile alocate obiectelor abandonate a crescut (cernd tot mai mult for de munc pentru a nregistra, cataloga i stoca obiectele abandonate) i din vechiul ora aproape c n-au mai rmas vizibile dect operele de arta sau obiectele statui care i vedeau n continuare de datoria lorLimba aceea rmas ntre buzele deschise a continu mirare, urechea muzical, fntna arteziana invers, zarul cu gurile negre palmele dispuse n yin i yangTraducere

Wormhole

Costel Macovei

When it started, and I do not think anyone remembers, but that's another story. Nobody would have guessed that our city would become known in the whole world, not just because of the cleanliness or architecture but this unusual aspect. The statues.

Yes, someone had the clever idea to order some artwork - to dumping cheap if I may say - that mask architectural immobility and holes left by ignorance and neglect. The world is content to cross the street on the corner, the zebra, without looking left or right, without comment, without the apostrophe, not to ask. The Community Council and he leaves it to make all decisions related to city and urban dwellers. So when the different parts or markets statues appeared many people do not even make change simply not put into consideration. How may we call it? City of memory, short memory or city or town with people without memories or maybe you have your ideas about how it can be called. The fact is that until I began to succeed and create buzz disappearances linked to these disappearances no one noticed statues.

Yup. Someone from the council came one day with the proposal to purchase some cheap but works with impact to place them at various points chosen on a statistical basis to bring something extra monotonous city life. It was searched artist fact this was not too hard, because the prices proposed by the Council were not too many names to bid projects. In fact there were only two names - at least that urban legends subways and graffiti. Who were the two artists nobody knows because unfortunately Council did not record anything - a strange coincidence you might say - but even so it happened. In various parts of the city were located and thus the bases of each sculpture at the intersection of Providence with a pedestal strange chance appeared in the form of language which claimed two lips melted into a A great pattern. A language that does not offend, not horrified and disgusted but not while they do not provide much information on the lips left a wonder continue. In the square Revolution was a huge ear increased if the pavement but whose base was inseparably linked all the ear canal as a bed and if in the flag reaches the auditory channel transparent. At the street corner opalescent Storm appeared as a dice cube only insignia points were actually black holes without depth, consistency and temporality. Then followed a reverse fountain, two palms which overlapped as yin and yang, a huge lens camera that can zoom the approaching threatening sky, a manhole placed vertically, a tent, a hollow in a pedestal inlaid with hearts, a tablecloth and ostentatious obsessive waves and there were some peripheral works no less strange: a bicycle overturned a honey jar with the lid down, a flashlight, a referee whistle and an umbrella with lace. The entire sequence was not made only to give you an idea supported by advisors oddities account those miserable amounts of stress. Nothing and no one had anything to say that would not have noticed that on some evenings from ear could hear songs or downright pathetic filthy, very rarely one note suave and often flowed a mixture milky vulgar and incoherent. From red-purple tongue that could be heard wailing and cries sometimes amazed ... and ironically, the city began to disappear completely stray dogs and cats, and there were beggars who complained hotels disappearance of customers ... give customers renting the room, unpacked everything and then disappeared. Storage rooms of the hotels are filled slowly but surely abandoned luggage and more people came into the city, then stay away. The case reached the ears of reporters, newspapers picked up the story and look like lump rush once started could not be stopped. Control room, where the television world flood, interviews, curious, crazy. Life gray city was turned upside down. And nothing was as before. Nobody could tell what was really happening. Nobody has ever elucidated the mystery (that until Firus entered on the line) and statues have seen on their lives because no one thought to decommission. From all this business which suffered only were hotels. The flow of tourists has remained constant. People who cazau unpack and simply disappeared. More and more people believed that the city had become suicidal, but no one had the courage to declare publicly. On the periphery began to appear one after the other buildings abandoned objects. And slowly, the city changed its shape, the new buildings abandoned objects allocated increased (demanding more and more manpower to record, catalog and store objects abandoned) and the old town almost never remaining visible than works of art or objects statues which still saw their duty ...

Language that remaining open lips continues surprising musical ear, reverse fountain, palms dice with black holes arranged in yin and yang ...