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I feel it important to take a moment and speak to the terrible atrocity that is the most recent

school shooting that took place in Ohio just days ago. The pain these families, students, and community will endure as a result of a senseless and brutal act is incomprehensible. Our thoughts and prayers are with these people as they begin to pick up the pieces and grieve their immeasurable loss.

In the weeks that follow this atrocity we will no doubt be bombarded with the thousands of experts who wish to weigh in on the topic. They will give their analysis and with perfect clarity give us what only hindsight grants those with 20/20 vision.  Invariably, we will hear about how this senseless attack could have been prevented, how the school could have done a better job, the psycho-social composite of the perpetrator and the “duh” everyone should have seen this coming.

I guess what disturbs me most about the eager commentators quick with their professional expertise, is that really at the end of the day, the idea of a senseless crime is just that senseless. As humans we want to find the defect that can explain why

some deviate from the norm.  We want to make sense of suffering, or people we feel are different, that we will stop at nothing until we can deduce a satisfactory explanation that somehow reassures us that there is still hope for humanity.

A few weeks ago, the adoption community was rocked by a psychiatrist’s public analysis of the Founder of Media Matters, David Brock. In his Fox News interview, Dr. Albow, a psychiatrist, conjectured about Mr. Brock’s “defect” or what made him strange or different than normal people.  In a short list of possible reasons that could attribute to Mr. Brock’s dysfunction, the fact that Mr. Brock was adopted was included.    Aside from the fact that Dr. Albow inadvertently outraged an entire community, and offended millions of people who identify with being an adoptee, the psychiatrist’s conjecture provided nothing more than empty words.  By attacking a growing number of people, Dr. Albow is now no different than the very man he tried to psycho analyze.

So at the end of the day, let’s be careful; slow to speak and quick to listen. Our trying to make sense of the senseless or explaining why people are the way they are offer very little to build upon and to learn from.  Regardless of our life circumstances and history, each of us has the capacity for good and for evil. May we all strive to do good.

A word from our founderBy Anthea Ramirez, Chief Sharer

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BIRTHMOTHER MINISTRIES: AN ORGANIZATION THAT SEEKS TO

SUPPORT WOMEN

Every day, 8,458 women in the United States discover they are pregnant, although they did not plan to be. An overwhelming number of those women are alone, abandoned and without hope. They believe they have only two options: parent the baby or terminate the pregnancy.

Women like Anna. When the 23-year-old told her boyfriend about her pregnancy, he immediately made an appointment for her at an abortion clinic. Anna was scared and confused. But with no family nearby and few close friends, she didn’t know where to turn for help.

Fortunately, Anna called Birthmother Ministries’ helpline (1-877-77 BIRTH) and was matched right away with Jill, a trained, compassionate Birthmothers Friend. Jill came alongside Anna during the following months with unconditional acceptance, a listening ear, practical help, and valuable information.

“I don’t know what I would have done without Jill,” said Anna. “She loved me. She listened and stuck with me.” Anna was surprised to learn through Jill about the many options available to her, including five different adoption avenues to consider. Eventually, Anna placed her child

in an open adoption. Anna cited the one-on-one relationship with Jill as the single most important factor in allowing her to choose life and carry her pregnancy to term. She and Jill remain steadfast friends.

Birthmothers, headquartered in Vienna, VA, is a faith-based nonprofit organization founded by northern Virginia real estate broker and developer Jim Wright. He and his wife vicariously experienced a birth mom’s battle with

isolation and opposition during pregnancy when they adopted the 14-year-old high school freshman’s baby. That’s how Wright identified the overwhelming need for personal, loving support for birth moms, and launched the ministry. It’s the personal, one-on-one Friend

relationship that makes Birthmothers’ ministry to women so distinctive. Volunteers are screened and carefully trained to walk with a woman (and in some cases, a man) who faces an unplanned pregnancy, through delivery and afterwards, providing confidential support regardless of decisions made by birth parents. Acceptance and staying power are two central tenets adopted by every Birthmothers Friend and underscored by the ministry’s motto, “A Friend loves at all times” (Proverbs 17:17).

(continued on page 4)

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LIKE IT TO WIN IT

GIVEAWAY!Like our Facebook page at www.facebook.com/adoptionshare between March 1st-7th for a chance to win a copy of Carol Lozier’s new book, "The Adoptive and Foster Parent Guide: How to Heal Your Child's Trauma and Loss".  Increase your chances by following us on Twitter @adoptionshare and subscribing to our newsletter found at www.adoption-share.com.

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Birthmother Ministries continued...

The facts underscore the overwhelming relational needs pregnant women and their partners face: 83% of women who struggle after an abortion say they would have changed their decision if they had had support from a partner, family member or special person during pregnancy, according to The Elliot Institute. “If we are to encourage women not to have an abortion,” says Ruth B. Graham, daughter of evangelist Billy Graham and former Birthmothers Advisory Board member, “then we need to be there for them.”

“Birthmothers exists to provide that

missing link,” says President Jim Wright, who along with his wife Cindy helps women and families face the challenges of an unplanned pregnancy, decisions about

parenting, and developing an adoption plan. “We equip God’s people to be Jesus’ hands and feet to women in need … to be the kind of Friend Jesus is.” A Friend who loves at all times.

Founder of Birth Mothers,Jim Wright with his wife Cindy

Image courtesy of Master Isolated Images

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If you weren’t able to participate or submit a question for our chat with Carol Lozier, please check out the transcript HERE.

Questions addressed within the hour long chat included:

• Our child was a conceived in rape, his mother wanted a closed adoption...  We just can't picture ourselves telling him one the truth about his conception.  What would you recommend?

• Our child was adopted at 2 days old.  How will she ever feel loss?  We are the only parents she has ever known.   

• I adopted my daughter from China.  We don't know anything about her family...How can we fill in these huge missing pieces of her life? 

• My husband and I have had several miscarriages and two failed adoptions.  I have found that it is hard to let myself grieve for a child that was never truly mine, yet the pain is just as strong. How can my husband and I move past these recent failed adoptions?

Carol Lozier is a therapist who specializes in working with adoptive families and children.  She has written a book that was recently released, "The Adoptive and Foster Parent Guide: How to Heal Your Child's Trauma and Loss".  For more information visit there website HERE, or her blog HERE

Recap of February’s Chat Regarding: Trauma and Loss in Adoption

by Carol Lozier

Check out our feature in

The Washington TimesWe were thrilled to be in The Washington Times at the beginning of

February. Click HERE to read the full article!

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Mark Your Calendars! Live Chat Event: March 28, 2012 at 9:00 PM EST

This month we are pleased to have guest Lori Wolf, President of OTIS Organization of Teratology Information Specialists.  Teratology is the study of teratogen which are any substances that can harm an unborn fetus when used during pregnancy.  Examples of teratogens include alcohol, smoking, street drugs, prescription drugs, over the counter medications, and some environmental agents.  Teratogens can cause birth defects, premature delivery, low birth weight, mental retardation, and or learning and behavioral problems.  The greater the exposure of a teratogen the greater the risk of negative side effects.  Join us on March 28, 2012 at 9PM EST to chat with Genetic counselor, and president of OTIS Lori Wolf.  You can submit your questions pre-chat prior to info@adoption-share.com or post to our Facebook page www.facebook.com/adoptionshare. This is a great chat for adoptive parents and adoption professionals!  

Meet The Newest Member of the Adoption-Share Team!

Jessica Zakhari comes to us from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania! Jessica’s connection to adoption is personal. She and her twin sister were adopted from India and upon learning her birth story, has hoped to one day become an adoptive parent herself.

Jessica graduated with highest honors from Albright College in 2007 where she received a bachelor's degree in Latin American Studies and Spanish. She completed her master's degree in TESOL in 2011 from La Salle University.

Passionate for young women and families, Jessica also serves on the committee of the regional director of YoungLives, a ministry that provides outreach and support to teen moms in the city. In addition to teaching, Jessica spends time reading, trying new recipes, and hanging out with her nephew. 

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What is Adoption-Share?

Adoption-Share.com is an online networking platform and support group. This independent adoption resource was created by an adoption social worker who recognized a need for free exchange of information and resources relating to the adoption process. Adoption-Share is not like most adoption websites and it is the ONLY online community exclusively for networking crisis pregnancy centers, licensed agencies, home study approved adoptive parents and birth parents. Let our online family enhance your knowledge, expand your network and help you achieve your adoption goals efficiently and effectively. For more info, visit us online: www.adoption-share.com

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