Research Paper: Active Listening: An Essential Skill for Coaching

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Name: Claudia Meza BellotaDate: July 20th, 2012Student ID: 265806Email: [email protected]

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Active Listening:

An essential skill for coaching

International Coach Academy - Research Paper

Student name: Claudia Meza

July 20, 2012

© Copyright 2006 International Coach Academy Pty. Ltd.Use is governed by the Terms and Conditions at http://www.icoachacademy.com

Last updated Feb 2006

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TABLE OF CONTENTS

Synopsis --------------------------------------------------------------------------------4

Introduction --------------------------------------------------------------------------------5

Background of Listening ---------------------------------------------------------------6

Significance of Active Listening-------------------------------------------------------- 8

Active Listening Techniques -----------------------------------------------------------10

Skills that Active Listeners Posses-----------------------------------------------------11

Why is it so difficult for people to become Active listeners? ------------------14

Listening Barriers--------------------------------------------------------------------------16

Active Listening and Coaching----------------------------------------------------------16

Conclusion-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------17

References --------------------------------------------------------------------------------18



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Active Listening: An essential skill for coaching

‘If we could all just learn to listen, everything else would fall into place. Listening is the

key to being patient centered’. Ian McWhinney1

Synopsis

The intent of this paper is to discuss the concept of ACTIVE LISTENING and its relevance

not only for achieving effective communication, but also as one of the most important

coaching skills.

In this discussion we will go through the different aspects of listening. We will analyze

the significance of Active Listening, what are the required techniques and skills, and how

to develop them. On the other hand we will also analyze why it is so difficult for people

to really listen, and the barriers that people experience in the process. There will also be

a review of the techniques and skills that active listeners possess. Finally we will review

active listening in relation to the coaching field.

Listening involves hearing the speaker’s words, understanding the message and its

importance to the speaker, and communicating that understanding to the speaker. The

apparent problem is, of all the communication skills, listening is the earliest learned and

the most frequently used, yet it seems to be the least mastered.



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Introduction

Listening is essential for communication. Being a good listener helps you see the world

through the eyes of others, thereby opening your understanding and enhancing your

capacity for empathy which is essential for having a good coaching relationship with our

clients. However as simple as listening to and acknowledging other people may seem,

doing it well, takes sincere effort and lots of practice.

There are different levels of listening, but the focus of this paper will be Active listening,

which requires that we listen not only for the content of the speakers message, but

more importantly, for the intent and feeling of the message as well.

Listening facilitates the development and maintenance of relationships and in coaching

it is critical in order to build trust and create a safe space for our clients. During

sessions, coaches must spend most of the time listening, so it is a skill that must learned

and mastered. It is such a part of our everyday life, and has such an importance in our

career that we should never take it for granted.

Active listening is a way of showing interest and curiosity, and that fosters cohesive

bonds, commitment, and trust. If coaches listen to their clients, they will learn "what are

their triggers for action." When they know what their triggers for action are, they will be

more effective at motivating them. And encourage them when they need encouraging.

This paper is going to examine not only the how important listening is in our everyday

lives but also how critical it is for us coaches to develop good active listening skills.



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http://www.wikihow.com/Develop-Good-Communication-Skills

Background of Listening

Most people don't listen as effectively as they think and probably don't know it. While

most people agree that listening is a very important skill, most people don't feel a strong

need to improve their own skill level.

It is said that listening is the earliest communication skill acquired, the most often used,

but the least mastered.

Typically, researchers separate listeners into three or four specific types or levels. All

systems are slightly different in how they separate listeners but all offer a continuum

from non-listeners to very deep listeners.

Newkirk and Linden (1982) present a system that examines three specific listening

types: time wasters, dissonance reducers and active listeners.

Time wasters’ daydream, which is not bad itself, however they can lose control and

tune all speakers out. Dissonance reducers attempt to deal with the internal conflict

they encounter from new information received, that is inconsistent with their existing

attitudes. Active listeners listen with a greater degree of sensitivity. They must not only

understand the content of the message but also the speaker’s feelings.

Another proposal of classification is the one brought by Hunsaker and Alessandra (1986)

they put listeners in one of four general categories, according to the depth of

concentration and sensitivity on the part of the listener. The four types are: the non-

listener, marginal listener, evaluative listener, and the active listener. As we move from

the first, through the forth the potential for understanding, trust and effective

communication increase:© Copyright 2006 International Coach Academy Pty. Ltd.

Use is governed by the Terms and Conditions at http://www.icoachacademy.comLast updated Feb 2006

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Non-listeners are primarily concerned with doing most of the talking; constantly

interrupting the speaker, rarely interested in what the speaker has to say and usually

has the last word.

Marginal listeners are at the second level. At this level listening is superficial as they are

hearing the sounds and words but not really listening. They tend to focus on the bottom

line, the fact, rather than the main ideas. The speaker may believe they are being

listened to and understood when in reality they are not at all.

Evaluative listeners actively try to hear what the speaker is saying, but isn’t making an

effort to understand the intent. They tend to be more logical listeners, more concerned

with content than feelings. The evaluative listeners form opinions about the speakers’

words even before the message is complete and risk not understanding the true

meaning of the message.

Active listeners have reached the highest and most effective level of listening ( Hunsaker

and Alesandra, 1986; Newkirk and Linden, 1982). Active listening requires to listen not

only for the content of the speakers message, but more importantly, for the intent and

feeling of the message as well.



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Significance of Active Listening

“So when you are listening to somebody, completely, attentively, then you are

listening not only to the words, but also to the feeling of what is being conveyed, to

the whole of it, not part of it” Jiddu Krishnamurti

Active listening is a structured form of listening and responding that focuses the

attention on the speaker. The listener must take care to attend to the speaker fully, and

then repeats, in the listener’s own words, what he or she thinks the speaker has said.

The listener does not have to agree with the speaker--he or she must simply state what

they think the speaker said. This enables the speaker to find out whether the listener

really understood. If the listener did not, the speaker can explain some more.

Active listening has several benefits. First, it forces people to listen attentively to others.

Second, it avoids misunderstandings, as people have to confirm that they do really

understand what another person has said. Third and which is the most important in the

coaching practice, it tends to open people up, to get them to say more.

The ability to listen actively demonstrates sincerity, and that nothing is being assumed

or taken for granted. Active listening is most often used to improve personal

relationships, reduce misunderstanding and conflicts, strengthen cooperation, and

foster understanding. It is proactive, accountable and professional.



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Active listening requires intense concentration and attention to everything the person is

conveying, both verbally and nonverbally. It requires listeners to empty themselves of

personal concerns, distractions and preconceptions.

There are many opinions on what is "active listening." A search of the term reveals

interpretations of the "activity" as including "interpreting body language" or focusing on

something other than words.

With regards to the coaching field, Active listening involves observing both the client

and oneself. Observing the client includes listening to the client’s words, tone, observing

their body language and every aspect of interpersonal communications that will help to

form the full picture of what they are saying, and what they are not saying. The second

part of active listening depends on a self-aware coach who recognizes his or her own

filters, thoughts and reactions, one who does not allow those to influence the overall

understanding of what the client is saying, and what the client may be thinking, feeling

and/or not saying; in this sense, active listening is a way to demonstrate authenticity.

“Coaching is about expanding people’s capacity to create the desired future. It is

NOT TELLING PEOPLE WHAT TO DO, but ASKING THEM to examine the thinking

behind what they’re doing so it is consistent with their goals. Coaching is about

giving people the gift of your presence, asking questions, listening” Robert

Hargrove. Masterful Coaching Field book ©2000 p52



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Active Listening Techniques

There are several active listening techniques which assist people in utilizing their

listening time to its fullest extent. According to Newkirk and Linden (1982) some of

these techniques are: paraphrasing, reflection, neutral technique, clarifying and

summarization.

1) Paraphrasing: when the listener restate in their own words what the speaker

means. This is valuable in testing the understanding of what the speaker means

and lets them know they are being actively listened.

2) Reflection: is slightly different from paraphrasing; here the listener tells the

speaker what they believe their feelings are rather than the content of the

message. This is particularly important when the speaker expresses strong

feelings.

3) Neutral technique: encourages the speaker to continue talking. A simple nod

of head or a “uh-huh” are usually effective signals that the listener is interested

and listening.

4) Clarifying: is the technique used when the listener needs more information of

a specific nature. It usually takes the form of a question.

5) Summarization: Involves combining the speaker’s thoughts into a concise

statement which focuses on the speakers key points. This is particularly valuable

in a group discussion where several statements from different people need to be

combined.



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Skills that Active Listeners Posses

Hunsaker and Alessandra (1986) discuss three additional, very important skills that only

active listeners possess. They are sensing, attending and responding.

Sensing is the ability to recognize and appreciate the silent messages that the speaker is

sending; that is facial expressions, intonation and body language.

Attending refers to the verbal, vocal and visual messages that the active listener sends

back to the speaker acknowledging the speaker and their message. This also establishes

a receptive listening setting, away from distractions, private without invading the

speakers “personal space.”

Responding is when the listener gets feedback on the accuracy of the speaker’s content

and feelings, tries to gather more information, attempts to make the speaker feel

understood and encourages the speaker to understand themselves, their problems and

concerns better.

How to Develop Active Listening Skills

There are some basic points that people can focus to learn in order to stimulate better

understanding and become active listeners:

1) Turning off the internal voice.-

Everyone has an internal voice that chatters away throughout everyday

experiences, listeners must keep those moments of listening to their inner

voice to a time when they are alone or relaxing. When they need to learn to



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develop their active listening skills they will need to concentrate on how they

are listening to the other person.

2) Body Language.-

While active listening, it remains essential that all vocal nuances as well as

changes in the intonation of the speaker's voice are captured. Often as part

of a defense to the revelation of information truth, a speaker will leave clues

that require examination in order to respond accordingly. Similarly body-

language provides a way of uniting the speaker and listener. It is necessary to

learn how to read and respond to it.

It is also important to learn how to avoid bad body language. Listeners

should maintain eye-contact to show they are giving their full undivided

attention. They should always analyze, through self-reflection and self-

awareness, their use of body language as they actively listen. Postural echo

will help speakers feel at ease therefore an increased communication flow

will be promoted.

3) Affirmative Nods.-

Listeners need to confirm that they’re following the flow of conversation by

placing nods of confirmation at the appropriate cues in the conversation.

Developing active listening skills utilizes this body language to great effect

allowing speakers to continue talking without disrupting their

communication flow. This is a key to developing active listening skills.© Copyright 2006 International Coach Academy Pty. Ltd.


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4) Paraphrasing to show understanding.-

Paraphrasing remains an essential part of developing active listening skills.

When paraphrasing listeners are basically summarizing what the other

person has just said. This active feedback loop has the effect of reconfirming

to the listener that the listener has understood everything they’ve said and in

its unique context. Developing active listening skills however should not be

seen as a chance to second-guess speaker’s next words. Everybody would

agree that it’s regarded as downright rude to guess the next words the

speaker will mention. As another negative side to developing listening skills it

also shows that listeners are trying to speed-up the conversation. Listeners

always need to remember to speak as less as possible, putting themselves in

a controlling position. They must ensure that they are giving the speaker the

greatest opportunities to develop their own thoughts as well as ideas.

5) Expressing a natural state of empathy.-

Showing a genuine sense of empathy helps individuals feel not only relaxed

as well as comfortable, but also that listeners really care. Through the

presentation of an active genuine expression of empathy to the speaker the

listener will win their heart and mind. Facial expression as well as gentle

words helps show that they feel concern over their discourse. Developing

active listening skills requires listener to analyze their position within the

conversation. It remains essential that they understand how they “come © Copyright 2006 International Coach Academy Pty. Ltd.


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across” as they listen. At first it may feel stifled but as active listening skills

are developed, they’ll soon find that the marriage between using hearing as

well as body language become almost natural.

It takes a lot of concentration and determination to be an active listener. Old habits are

hard to break, and if listening habits are as bad as many peoples are, then there's a lot

of habit-breaking to do!

Active Listeners must be deliberate and remind themselves frequently that their goal is

to truly hear what the other person is saying. They need to set aside all other thoughts

and behaviors and concentrate on the message

Why is it so difficult for people become Active listeners?

Active listening is not an easy skill to acquire. It may require changes in basic attitudes.

To be effective at all in active listening, people must have a sincere interest in the

speaker. Developing an attitude of sincere interest in the speaker is thus no easy task. It

can be developed only by being willing to risk seeing the world from the speaker’s point

of view.

Active listening carries a strong element of personal risk. If listeners manage to

accomplish what it is being described here: deeply sense the feeling of another person,

understand the meaning his experiences have for him, to see the world as he sees it;

listeners risk being changed themselves. It is threatening for the listener to give up, even

momentarily, what they believe and start thinking in someone else’s terms. It takes a © Copyright 2006 International Coach Academy Pty. Ltd.


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great deal of inner security and courage to be able to risk them in understanding

another.

People are so accustomed to viewing themselves in certain ways (seeing and hearing

only what they want to see and hear) that it is extremely difficult to free from the need

to see things in these ways. To do this may sometimes be unpleasant, but it is far more

difficult than unpleasant.

Carl Rogers stated that the natural tendency to evaluate from the listener’s own frame

of reference, and approve or disapprove of what another person is saying, is the major

barrier to successful interpersonal communication. He felt this was particularly the case

when the topic was linked to strong emotions.

One of the reasons people are not good at listening is because they do not listen.

Listening skills start with paying attention.

Coaches must be aware of their own filters, judgments, reactions, and thoughts; and

acknowledge the presence of these potential distracters; then consciously choose to set

them; this allows a focus wholly on the client. Client-centered psychology contends this

is done by listening without judgment or bias, filtering the client’s words with

unconditional positive regard, with belief that the client knows his/herself best, is critical

to establishing trust (Silsbee, 2004; Wilkinsky, 2006).



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Listening Barriers

Listening barriers may be psychological (e.g. emotions) or physical (e.g. noise and visual

distraction). Cultural differences including speakers' accents, vocabulary, and

misunderstandings due to cultural assumptions often obstruct the listening process.

There is also a human natural tendency to evaluate and judge. Sometimes people get

so busy criticizing what the other person is saying that they don’t hear them.

Frequently, the listener's personal interpretations, attitudes, biases, and prejudices

lead to ineffective communication.

Active Listening and Coaching

One of the ICF’s Core Competencies for coaching is Active Listening which in the

coaching environment is defined as: “the ability to focus completely on what the client is

saying and is not saying, to understand the meaning of what is said in the context of the

client's desires, and to support client self-expression”.

But why is Active listening such an important skill that coach should have? Active

listening is an important way to bring about changes in people. Despite the popular

notion that listening is a passive approach, clinical and research evidence clearly shows

that sensitive listening is a most effective agent for individual personality change and

group development.

Coaching is about supporting the client to move from where they are to where they

want to be; and since listening brings about changes in people’s attitudes toward



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themselves and others; it also brings about changes in their basic values and personal

philosophy.

People who have been listened to in this new and special way become more emotionally

mature, more open to their experiences, less defensive, more democratic, and less

authoritarian.

When people are listened to sensitively, they tend to listen to themselves with more

care and to make clear exactly what they are feeling and thinking.

Besides providing more information than any other activity, listening builds deep,

positive relationships and tends to alter constructively the attitudes of the listener.

The proper use of active listening results in getting clients to open up and building trust.

In the coaching context, benefits include increased client confidence which allows them

to be themselves and it improves the outcomes of the coaching relation.

Conclusion

Active listening is a specific communication skill. It shows the other person, both

verbally and nonverbally that the listener is truly interested.

Active listening is more than just paying attention, active listening is a specific

communication skill, based on the work of psychologist Carl Rogers, which involves

giving free and undivided attention to the speaker.

In the coaching field Active listening is a dynamic commitment to understanding how

clients feel and how they see the world. It means putting aside coaches own prejudices



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and beliefs, anxieties and self-interest, so that they can step behind their client’s eyes

and envision their perspective.

ICF-certified coaches must learn and master the practice of Active Listening in order to

gain complete learning and understanding about their client(s). Active listening allows

the client to vent the situation and then move on to the next appropriate steps.

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Newkirk, W., Linden, R., (1982). Improving communication through active

listening. Emergency medical services.

Hunsaker, P., & Allessandra, A., (1986). The art of managing people. New York:

Simon & Schuster Inc.

Robert Hargrove., (2000) Masterful Coaching Field book

Wilkinsky, W. (2006). Lectures: The Art and Science of Organizational Coaching.

Silsbee, D. K. (2004). The Mindful Coach: Seven Roles for Helping People Grow.

Marshall, NC, Ivy River Press.

Institute of Coaching. (2011). Executive coaching handbook. Retrieved from

http://www.instituteofcoaching.org/images/pdfs/ExecutiveCoachingHandbook.pdf

International Coach Federation web site: http://www.coachfederation.org/

James Manktelow & Amy Carlson. Active Listening: Hear what people are really saying

http://www.mindtools.com/CommSkll/ActiveListening.htm



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Kiel, F., Rimmer, E., Williams, K., & Doyle, M. (1996). Coaching at the top. Consulting

Psychology Journal: Practice and Research, 48, 67–77.

Soika, Tina (2004) Better listening: It's an active process, Hearing Journal: September 2004 - Volume 57 - Issue 9 - p 40-41 http://journals.lww.com/thehearingjournal/Fulltext/2004/09000

Rogers & Farson, ACTIVE LISTENING Communicating in Business Today R.G. Newman,

M.A. Danzinger, M. Cohen (eds) D.C. Heath & Company, 1987

Drollinger, T., Comer, L. B., & Warrington, P. T. (2006). Development and validation

of the active empathetic listening scale. Psychology and Marketing, 23, 161-180. Sdf

Mackay H. The good listener. Better relationships through better communication.

(Previously published as Why don’t people listen?) Sydney: Pan Macmillan, 1994.



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Research Paper: Active Listening: An Essential Skill for Coaching