Research for Building Trust

8/6/2019 Research for Building Trust

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Source: http://blog.emergenceconsulting.net/2007/10/building-trust-.html

Building Trust in the Workplace

I'm going to open today's post with a few questions. Are you trusted? Do your employees

believe that you have the best interests of the company and your team at heart when you go aboutyour day? If one of your team members came across information that was potentially damaging,would they share it with you or hide it from you? Do people tell you the truth even when it hurtsto do so?

Trust is one of the noblest of human emotions. It is also one of the most powerful factors youcan cultivate in your work team. But how can we "build trust"? If we don't trust someone, howcan they earn it back?

Trust begins to erode when people perceive that you are not walking your talk. Sometimesthese perceptions reflect reality, and sometimes they don't. Lying to your team will obviously

break down trust, but sometimes the issue is less you than it is the whole organization's culture,and in those cases you may have an even tougher hill to climb.

Here are a few suggestions for building trust in your team:

1) Remember that trust is "built" over time, and can't be fixed with one grand gesture. Focus oncreating many small strides towards a culture of trust.

2) Take the time to put yourself in the shoes of your team. "If I saw what just happened, and Ididn't know what I know as manager, how would I respond? What would I think?" A good doseof empathy can be your barometer to assess how well your efforts are being received.

3) Ask for feedback from your team, and be clear that respectful feedback is welcome, even if you don't agree with it. Make your attitude reflect the maxim "I can't guarantee I'll agree withyou, but it's important that I know what you think."

4) When implementing a decision or program which will be unpopular, be as transparent as possible about the decision making process. When choices are especially hard, involving your team in on the process of deciding will help build trust for a difficult choice.

5) Don't lie about bad news. It tends to come out eventually anyway, and if you smooth thingsover about that coming layoff or budget cut you'll just piss people off later. A response of

"Honestly I don't know. I hope not. I'll tell you as soon as I can." is fair in many situations.

6) Share information regularly. Let people in on the data you get as a manager whenever possible. In the absence of news, people gossip. Sharing real data can build trust. I worked for one leader who regularly shared executive level reports on company finances, and then promptlyasked us to shred the documents at the end of the meeting to maintain confidentiality. He helped

build trust in our team that we were being provided with accurate information on the status of thecompany.


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7 ) If you can't answer a question, just say so. "I can't answer that question right now, but I'll letyou know when I can." Don't lie.

8) Whenever you don't meet a commitment, be up front about it. "I know I said that we'd be ableto get some temp staff in this week to reduce overtime. I have not been able to make that

happen. I'm sorry I wasn't able to meet that commitment to you." The bolder you are about pointing out your own lapses or roadblocks, the higher regard your team will have for you.(Unless those lapses are so frequent that you're simply not effective).

9) Don't play the "I'm the Manager" card. When I managed HR, managers would call me andsay "I'm the manager and people need to listen to me! I'm going to tell them so!" When it comesto trust and respect, those are earned, not demanded. So don't demand trust. Just keep workingaway to earn it.

10) Hold yourself and others accountable. If a team member is promising the moon anddelivering nothing, call them on it. No matter how "trustworthy" you are, if you don't manage

your team well, they'll lose trust in your management ability. You can be the most honest personon earth - but they also need you to be a leader. You can't have one without the other.

Trust is a tricky thing. You can't create it directly; it emerges when the conditions (opencommunication, being accountable, being honest) are right, and when the conditions are not rightit simply won't happen. So focus on creating an environment where trust can grow. It won'thappen overnight, it may take months rather than days, but it is definitely worth having.

Do you need assistance restoring trust in your workplace? Cheri Baker, President of Emergence Consulting, helps organizations restore trust, productivity, and respect to theworkplace. Click here to learn more.

October 02, 200 7 in Engagement & Motivation | Permalink

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Source: http://www.circlesoflight.com/relate/relate6.shtml

Building Trust in Relationships -Relationship Problems on ControlShare

The element of control in a romantic relationship is an insidious thing, and causes many relationshipproblems. Although, it is widely practiced by both sexes. A relationship which truly comes from theheart cannot survive control issues and it tears away at trust. Weekly I get a variety of emails which ask,"How can I make him/her...". "Making" someone you supposedly love do or be anything isn't part of the


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picture, and in fact isn't love at all. How can you expect your partners to trust one another when is istrying to contol the other. It's an effort to control something that one doesn't find lovable at all.

I also receive a variety of reasons why it's acceptable to want to change a partner's actions or demeanor in some way, for their own good, of course. Since this is a spiritually oriented site,

these reasons are usually explained in terms of the unfortunate partner's lack of awareness of the"truth". I see this perception as spiritual arrogance.

Metaphysically speaking, we are each responsible for our own choices whether we areconsciously aware of these choices or not. If we love "A" about our partner but detest "B", that isour choice. Many years ago Terry Cole Whittacker wrote a book with a charming title, WhatYou Think of Me is None of My Business". We may judge the behavior of another in any waythat we choose to, but spiritual law carries penalties for trying to enforce our opinions on them.At best, our efforts to change the other rarely work. At worst, it will cause a lot of relationship

problems and the partnership may be destroyed.

There is something we can do however, which evades these penalties. It's called an "open-endedtreatment". In this sort of metaphysical treatment we connect with our Higher Power and affirmresolution of the situation. We choose to know that the problem is resolved in whatever way is

best for everyone concerned. What is important here is to truly keep it open-ended. The highestresolution of the situation could after all, include you releasing the need to change the other

person! Perhaps there's a change waiting to happen within you that would serve the situationmuch better.

This kind of metaphysical treatment provides an overview, pulling one out of their prejudicesabout the matter and turns over the power to something objective and caring about the well-beingof all. If you find it difficult to do this, that is your indication that an effort to control is

occurring, and not love. Remember, you didn't choose to love a carbon copy of yourself, but alive human being with distinct needs and wants of their own.

If you really want to lesson problems in your relationship and build trust with your partner thenlet go of a need to control and find ways to be supportive of one another.

Famous Quotes: CHARACTER

"No change of circumstances can repair a defect of character."

--Ralph Waldo Emerson

Source: http://www.buzzle.com/editorials/10-2 7 -2005- 7 9983.asp


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Building Trust in the Workplace: A ValuableTopic for Leadership Training

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Trust is the foundation of all successful interpersonal relationships, both personal and business.Trust is the confidence or belief a person feels toward a particular person or group. Trust is,therefore, one of the primary binding forces in any interpersonal relationship. It permits peopleto overcome doubts and unknowns and enjoy peace of mind. The absence of trust causesconfusion, worry, inaction, and fear. When interpersonal trust is present, a person feels aconfidence that everything will somehow work out. In the workplace, trust is a prerequisite for effective interpersonal communications. Without trust, employees may feel uncertainty, worry,and a sense of insecurity. No relationship, personal or business, can exist for even a shortperiod of time if some element of trust is not present. Trust is an essential leadership training

ingredient that binds any human relationship into an effective, working partnership.

Even though trust is fundamental to human relationships, it is actually misunderstood by manypeople. People use trust, or the lack of it, to explain good and bad relationships with others.Consider the clich phrases: "Dont worry, you can trust me" and "Just trust me." Trust hasbecome both a buzzword and an excuse in our society. Trust is as much abused as it is used intodays business world. It is used to define and explain; yet few leadership training programshave seriously considered what it is and what it is not.

Psychologists are just beginning to learn how trust really works. Research suggests that trusting

relationships are predictable, caring, and faithful. When a managers behavior is consistent over a period of time and another person can reasonably predict that behavior, trust is possible. Bycontrast, it is difficult to trust a person whose actions are inconsistent or unpredictable.

Caring in a relationship involves actions that express consideration toward the other person.Through effective leadership training , a caring supervisor knows when final exams arescheduled at the local college and asks employees who will be taking the tests how much timeoff will be needed to study. A caring supervisor finds out about a birth, death, anniversary,


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graduation, or sickness and sends a card to the employees home.

Faith is the belief that an employees behavior will be in direct response to the trust placed inthat relationship. Faith can be demonstrated by communicating clear expectations and thentelling the employee, "I know you and I believe you can accomplish this assignment." Managers

who have difficulty demonstrating faith in others typically have difficulty trusting them as well.Trust as a leadership training component can help change this.

Building trust in the workplace is vital for a long-lasting, satisfying, rewarding, and successfulrelationship. Leadership training helps effective managers practice behaviors that promote andbuild trusting relationships. They learn to do this with consistent actions each day. In return theyobtain the benefits of high-trust employee relations. These benefits include higher morale,increased initiative, improved honesty, and better productivity. All are important aspects of aprofitable and rewarding business experience.

Its not uncommon for people to use the word "trust" to describe a feeling they have regardingsome interpersonal relationships. Trust does not magically appear in a relationship withoutcertain elements preceding it over time. And once trust has been breeched it is difficult andsometimes impossible to establish once again.

Three steps pave the path before enduring trust begins. The first step is effectivecommunications. When we communicate effectively with another person we have anopportunity to move that relationship to the second step, which is real understanding. That iswhen two people have communicated to the point of honest and deep understanding. This canlead to the third step in the relationship of mutual respect. A respecting relationship demandsthat each person contribute enough respect that it can be reciprocated back from the other

person. Unilateral respect in relationships is temporary and superficial. Mutual respect that canlead to trust is much deeper and must come from communicated understanding. Once arelationship has experienced mutual respect it is possible for the participants to experienceenduring relational trust. This is a feeling that binds people together over time and through trials.

The four steps are dependent upon the actions or integrity of the individuals involved. Integrity isnot only keeping agreements, but it is also "walking the talk." If, for example, a personcommunicates deceitfully, how much understanding will there be? And how much respect willthe other person have? Ultimately trust will be lacking.

Enduring trust is a leadership training process that takes time and effort. It is clearly the essenceof what fuels meaningful relationships.

Test your Trust

Answer the following five statements on a scale of 1 to 5, where 1 is not true and 5 is completelytrue.


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1. My actions each day demonstrate that I trust my employees.2. My employees can trust me with sensitive or private information.3. I would never betray a trust with an employee.4. I keep confidences and would never share confidential information inappropriately.5. I am able to trust my employees.

Tally your scores from the five items. A total score of 20 to 25 would indicate that you and your employees probably share an atmosphere of trust. A score of 15-19 would indicate that trust ispresent, but not in abundance. A score of 14 or less probably means that some additionalleadership training efforts in building trust would be appropriate.

To learn how leadership training programs and building trust in the workplace can help your organization, contact a CMOE representative at (801)569-3444

Dr. Richard L. Williams has conducted more than 6,000 workshops to more than 250,000managers and executives.

He specializes in building trust in the workplace, leadership training and development,performance coaching, and quality improvement.

http://www.yourromanceguide.com/articles/relationships/trust-in-your-relationship.php

Trust In Your Relationship

Trust means to believe. I trust you, means I have no doubt in my mind about your honesty,integrity and credibility. No relationship can survive without trust. How to develop and keep thetrust in a relationship forever, because as soon as the trust breaks, the relationship breaks. Trustis the foundation on which a relationship is built. If you dont trust a person, howsoever you maylove him/her, your relationship will not survive, because you have no trust in him/her.

Let us examine this little more. To begin with, every relationship begins with trust in each other.Without the initial trust, the relationship will not move in the beginning itself. In the beginning,one believes without much proof about the others character. It is love and some assessment of how trustworthy the person is. As the relationship grows, fissures start forming because of doubts about whether the other person can be trusted? Was he/she trustworthy from the

beginning or was I fooled? Or is he/she changing now? This kind of doubtful thinking causestremendous strain in a relationship and with the breaking of trust, the relationship breaks.

How do you manage to build the trust in the earlier period is most important. The beginning can be very dangerous. What may arouse suspicion should be avoided at all the costs. If you have asuspicious partner, you need to be more careful. Small things such as if you are going out, informwhere you are going and to meet whom? If there is a change in your mood, talk to your partner


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and talk about the reasons. If you are facing career problems, rather than hiding them, tell aboutthem to your partner and seek support. Many a times, you will behave differently when you facecareer issues and that may make your partner think about all types of possibilities. Be open abouteverything. Your words and body language should be synchronous at all the times. Inform abouteverything and if not fully possible assure your partner that things are going differently and you

are under pressure. Be open. Seek trust and you will get it.

http://psychcentral.com/lib/2008/trust-and-vulnerability-in-relationships/

Trust and Vulnerability in Relationships B y Jane Collingwood

A willingness to be vulnerable is a significant feature of lasting relationships ones in which partners are allies, not foes.

The need to form a mutually protective alliance is innate, according to psychoanalyst JohnBowlby. This need persists throughout life; the search to be both cared for and caregiver underlies falling in love.

Long-lasting couples manage to keep this vulnerability alive. Each persons awareness of theimportance of partnership underlies his or her attentiveness to the other. This protective love

focuses on the partnership and the ability to put the other first. As parents, they instinctivelysoothe their childrens tears, and in the same way, they are responsive to each other.

Such deep caring comes easily at a relationships beginning. Lust and novelty keep us attentivelyglued to each other when we fall in love. Its in the next phase, when routines and irritations setin, that protective love is tested. Deep connectedness feeling our partners triumphs andsetbacks as our own is a hallmark of the early stages of love. We are careful with our wordsand behavior and take care not to wound the other.

Remaining this attuned to a partner takes energy and commitment. Barriers may still stand in theway, though:

y Busyness . Our busy lives mean we have to make an effort to take the time to talk and catch up.Such moments are essential for keeping empathetically tuned in to one s partner. You need tomotivate yourself to go out together, just the two of you, to focus on each other after a long dayat work. This is the choice that long-lasting couples make. In a successful partnership, Idevelops into we, , and independence into interdependence.

y F ear of dependence on another . Growing up means becoming strong and standing on our owntwo feet, which implies independence. We can be reluctant to admit we miss our partner whenthey re not there. B ut obeying a rigid script of independent adulthood doesn t allow a close


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relationship to grow. We can take note of our need for our partner, our disappointment andloneliness when they are away, and give ourselves permission to miss them.

Prolonged stress tests protective love. Taking the long view using memories of past happinessas insurance for the future can help. Recalling our original commitment and promises to each

other can help love endure the inevitable rough patches.

When John Bowlbys attachment theory was extended to adult romantic relationships, psychologists found that partners in relationships classed as secure tend to show low anxiety and avoidance. In other words, they are relaxed about opening up to each other. Researchsuggests these partnerships allow people to cope better with stress, including the stress of havinga child.

Securely attached people tend to have positive views of their relationships, often reporting agreat deal of satisfaction in their relationships. They feel comfortable both with intimacy andwith independence, seeking to balance the two. When they do feel anxious, they try to reduce

their anxiety by seeking physical or psychological closeness to their partner. During difficultsituations they seek support, comfort, and assistance from their partner. A secure partner thenresponds positively, reaffirming a sense of normality and reducing anxiety. This expression of love puts into practice the key elements of a secure partnership: consistency, attunement to theother, and availability when needed.

Thinking about the concept of attachment in your relationship can add new meaning and helpyou develop a deeper, lasting bond. We all need someone we can rely on in order to maintain asense of wellbeing. Knowing your partner is encouraging and rooting for you frees you toconcentrate elsewhere. Secure and supported, you are able to produce, enjoy and be open to newexperiences.

References

Bowlby, John. Attachment . 1983: Basic Books.

Overview of attachment theory

Hazan C. and Shaver P. (198 7 ). Romantic love conceptualized as an attachment process. J ournal of Personality and Social Psychology , Vol. 52, pp. 511-24.

Mikulincer M. and Florian V. (1995). Appraisal of and Coping with a Real-Life Stressful

Situation: The Contribution of Attachment Styles. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin ,Vol. 21, pp. 406-14.

Simpson J.A., Rholes W.S., and Nelligan J.S. (1992). Support seeking and support giving withincouples in an anxiety provoking situation: The role of attachment styles. J ournal of Personalityand Social Psychology , Vol. 62, pp. 434-46.

Sable, Pat. Attachment and Adult Psychotherapy . 2001: Jason Aronson.


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http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/Johnston8.html

Confidence and inner trust are one and the same in the emotional state. Confidence is your ability to cope and depend upon yourself to create a reality that is dependable. If you don't haveconfidence, you will create a reality that you cannot depend upon.

ie: You may have faith and trust in others, but if you don't have it in yourself, you are lost.

Trust and acceptance - which go hand in hand, are the most powerful tools you have, the most potent energy available to you.

When you have confidence - or, trust, within you, it produces a positive energy that stills doubt,worry, fear and negative expectations. It has a profound effect on you and others.

Positive energy is more powerful than negative energy.

Just think what would happen, if you trusted all your choices and accepted all your decisions -you would be successful in just about everything you do.

If you don't trust yourself, you don't trust others.

If you don't trust yourself, it shows up in others. In other words, you attract people and situationsthat you cannot trust.

ie: Others accept when you know what you are and do is valuable.

The reason you don't trust in yourself and your power, the reason you don't accept your talents,

gifts and abilities like imagination , free will, self love, is because you learned not to trust, not toaccept.

The reason you don't trust yourself is because it's a learned emotion, but the actions of othersshould not affect you.

Now - you must change it. Transmute it, reverse it. Go the opposite - and choose to trust,decide to accept. This is how you get trust and acceptance into your life again.

If you do not trust and accept yourself and your power, you will not share with your human self the elements that produce oneness and success, you will not let it in.

It's an issue of lack of self value, lack of self worth and lack of self esteem .

You will never allow yourself to be, do, or have what you truly need and desire in life, unlessyou value yourself.

The biggest mistake you can make is trying to earn worth.


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Saying; "Someday, I will be worthy". If you spend your life trying to attain it, you will fail.

The human must recognize and understand its worth and value, the importance of its existence inorder to use and create with the power that is activated within.

You cannot expect humans to stay together, if life is a continual stream of broken promises.

This includes the inner and outer human too.

If you don't heal this breach of confidence or inner trust, it leads to what is called shamed based behavior .

Shame cuts you off from all that is real - shame is a learned emotion and when reinforced andinternalized, you no longer feel shame, you are shame.

You are not allowed to make mistakes, you are a mistake. You are not forgivable not only for

what you have done, but for who you are.

Eventually, you decide that you are defective, flawed, or the evil one and in time this destructiveenergy will do you in.

ie: People die of shamed based behavior all the time.

It's so important to see this crisis of confidence or inner trust within you and to end it.

U nification, thy name is trust!

Trust is a unity factor. It unites the human and spirit, power and control, thought,

emotion, action and energy. It affects the whole of your being, it causes miracles to happen.

Instead of searching for trust and acceptance from others, tell yourself you already have it, thenuse it, become it.

You have the power to do something special for yourself. What will it be?

The simple solution, is to accept that you are value in this moment and stop judgement. Youmust accept the choice, thought, emotion, action, even if a little at first. Accept - this is the way

to accept.

It is valuing your personal abilities and what they can give to you - not others.

Trust is like a two edged sword.

1. Trusting yourself enough to be, do and have the things you want in life, to create thereality you desire.


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2. Trusting yourself not to do the things that create pain and suffering. Self sacrifice, self sabotage, self punishment. To say no, if it doesn't seem appropriate or right to you, regardless of who and what it is.

If you cannot trust that what you think, say, feel and do is enough, then don't waste your

time. Just continue to be a very humanly human - be like everyone else. This may seem harsh but most do not understand the devastating damage that this lack of trust in yourself has onyou and your life.

Ask yourself;

"What does the issue of trust mean to you? What aspect of self lacks in trust?"

Know this and focus on that specific area - resolve the issue of trust in the aspectlacking. This is so important.

And remember, don't try to do it all at once. Trust and accept, even a little at first andyou will feel the difference that this makes in your life.

It's the little things that brings the big things!

http://www.witi.com/growth/2004/trustyourself.php

WITI PERSONAL GROWTH

Learn To Trust Yourself

B y Jane Herman

Easy to say, not always so easy to do. The good news is, even if you have nottrusted your own wisdom and judgment in the past you can learn how to do sonow.

When you learn to trust yourself and your ability to make smart decisions, youfeel confident, self-sufficient, and empowered. You are no longer anxious whenfacing critical decisions and can stop doubting and second-guessing the

decisions you have already made. Here are the essential steps for learning to trust yourself.


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1. Accept that there is no one right answer For any problem or question there are as many answers as there are people in the world.Therefore, it is important to let go of the notion that there is one right answer that you mustsomehow find. Each of us experiences the world in our own way and makes judgments based onour own unique perceptions, experiences, assumptions, frameworks, filters, and processing

ability. The best you can hope for is to find YOUR right answer.

2. Recognize that you will never have 100% of the information you would like to have tomake your decision Each time you have to make a decision, you need data/facts/information. But there is so muchinformation - how do you find it all? The bottom line is that you will not be able to find and

process ALL of the information relevant to any decision you need to make. So the real question becomes, "How much information is enough?"

People differ widely in how comfortable they are with expressing information they are not "sure"of. In the ultimate sense, we are never really "sure" of anything. Therefore, only you can make

the judgment as to when you are comfortable putting forth something as "fact". Some people feelcomfortable making decisions when they believe they have 7 0% of the information; some wantto believe they have at least 95%. What is your level of comfort? The higher the percentage, themore time your decision will take and the more likely you are to be overtaken by events - that is,things will happen in spite of you because you are not reacting quickly enough. Each time youface a new decision, consciously consider your comfort requirements AND your time constraintsfor making the decision. These factors will help you answer the question "How much isenough?"

3. Try on a new framework: you don't need to HAVE all the answers, you just need to beable to FIND the answers

Many people feel anxious when faced with having to make a decision because they believe, "Ishould know the answer." In addition, they feel sure that, "Everyone else already knows theanswer." You take a step toward empowerment if you are willing to accept a new framework:"The answers are out there somewhere, and I can find them. I don't need to have all the answers.I just need to learn the tools and the skills to find them." Of all the skills you will need to find theanswers, communication skills are the most critical.

4. Learn to communicate clearly To make good decisions you need clear and accurate information. To get good information, youneed to learn great communication skills so that you can:

y Clearly ask for the information you needy Hear and understand the information others give youy Articulate your final decision in a way others can hear, understand, and respond to

Classes, workshops, books, and articles are all potential vehicles for improving your communicationskills. Pick the ones that provide practical tools and techniques, not just theory. As a minimum you needto learn: what to listen for and how to listen, how to "hear behind the words," verbal and non-verbalcommunication techniques, and how personal communication styles effect communication.


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5 . Learn how to use the inputs of others wisely Most of us seek the inputs of others when we are facing an important decision. Collaborationwith others can help you develop good decision-making skills or hurt you, depending on howyou go about it.

When faced with a decision, many people will call up several of their friends and familymembers, solicit opinions from each, count the "votes" pro and con, and go with the majorityopinion. If you use this process, you are not truly learning to synthesize various sources of information and arrive at your own conclusions - you are simply learning to be a scorekeeper.

On the other hand, there is an advantage to be gained by seeking the advice of others. As a singleindividual you see things from your own perspective, constrained by your own blind spots,worldview, and experiences. Since you can't see or know everything by yourself, you can seemore clearly by using the eyes, ears and minds of many people. By partnering with other peoplewho each bring their own unique perspective, what emerges is a combined intellect and an abilityto see things from a new and different perspective. The collective wisdom of the group opens

your mind to new possibilities. Creativity, inspiration and solutions come from many mindsworking together.

The trick is to use the inputs and opinions of others as additional "facts" to be considered in your decision, not as final answers in themselves or votes that you add up to make your decision.

6. Lean to accept responsibility for you decisions Making your own decisions and accepting full responsibility for them and their consequencescan make you feel frightened, empowered, joyful, or any of a number of other powerfulemotions. However, one thing is for sure. You can never fine-tune your decision-making skills if you don't accept this responsibility. You need to experience both the process of making the

decision and the process of directly experiencing the results of your decision so that you canlearn the relationship between the two. If you deny your part in the decision or blame others for the decision, the only experience you get is one of observing the results of someone else'sdecision. If you try to escape or hide from the consequences of your decision, again you miss thekey experience of getting the feedback you need so that you can make better, smarter decisionsin the future.

7. Learn to trust your intuition and your body We often think that making decisions is strictly a mental process. But we also have access toother sources of personal wisdom though our intuition and the reactions of our bodies. Have youever had the experience of meeting someone who made the hair on the back of your neck standon end? Learn to tune into your intuition and your body reactions. You want to make sure your decisions "feel right" as well as sound right.

8. Keep your filters updated None of us can make decisions independent of who we are, our beliefs, assumptions,frameworks, and personal worldview. All of these serve as filters that effect the quality of our decisions. However, we can work to make sure that these filters are current and up-to-date withwho we are at the moment.


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Frequently we operate from assumptions, beliefs, and frameworks that were appropriate for when we younger but no longer serve us well. Often we unconsciously take them on from our

parents or other close friends and family members without questioning whether they are right for us. As an adult you have the power to re-examine and re-choose your underlying assumptionsand beliefs and find new, more empowering, frameworks.

9 . Trust the record Once you have the experience of making and experiencing the results of many life decisions,then you begin to trust your own record. You begin to understand what factors result in your making a good decision and what factors cause you to make a poor decision. As a simpleexample, you may come to realize that you typically make poor decisions when you are tired or emotionally overwrought. With each new decision you have a new opportunity to observe theresults, and to gain insight and feedback that will help you make a better decision the next timearound.

10. Often it's OK to take the path of least resistance

We often fall into the trap of believing that good decisions are always difficult or complex. Wesurround ourselves with "shoulds" - "I should think this, I should do this." Sometimes justchoosing the path or direction that is the most obvious or effortless is the right way to go.

11. Learn how to insulate yourself from the potential negative effects of your decisions Before you make a decision, try to think through the possible consequences. What can gowrong? What is likely to happen if something does go wrong? When and how will I know if something is starting to go wrong? Identify potential pitfalls and be prepared with alternative

plans and strategies.

It's Your Decision

Your decisions shape your world. Do you want to create your own world or live in a worlddefined and constructed by others? Who knows best what you want and need and what is rightfor you? Learn to love and embrace your power to make your own decisions. It is how you makeyour presence felt in the world.

Jane Herman is The Personal and B usiness Success Coach. She specializes in working with people in theprocess of redesigning their lives, their careers, or their businesses. She helps them bring their visioninto focus and achieve their goals.

http://www.refresher.com/mindfulnetwork/articlelive/articles/186/1/Trust-Yourself/Page1.html

Trust Yourself y B y Mike Robbins y Published 07/13/2009


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y Personal Development y Rating:

M ike Robbins

Mike Robbins is an expert in success, teamwork, and the power of appreciation. As aformer professional baseball player and Internet advertising sales executive, as wellas a life-long student of personal development, Mike brings a varied and impressive

background to the clients with whom he works. Through his keynotes, seminars,writing, and consulting, Mike empowers individuals, teams, and organizations to bemore productive, appreciative, and successful. He is the author of the audio program,

T he Power of Appreciation , a contributing author of Chicken Soup for the Single Parents Soul ,and the author of the new best selling book, Focus on the Good Stuff (Hardcover, Jossey-Bass/Wiley). Mike has been featured in Forbes, on the Oprah and Friends radio network, and on

NBC. He is a member of the National Speakers Association (NSA) and is a Certified SpeakingProfessional (CSP), NSAs highest earned designation. Mike lives in the San Francisco Bay Areawith his wife Michelle and their young daughters Samantha and Annarose. Visithttp://www.focusonthegoodstuff.com/ for additional information.

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H ow well do you trust yourself, I mean really trust yourself?

For most of us, myself included, self-trust is tough. We have a tendency to second-guess ourselves, notlisten to our gut, or hang onto negative memories from the past when we've made mistakes or baddecisions. These things and others make it difficult for us to trust ourselves and thus create challenges inour relationships, our work, and our lives.

Lack of self-trust, while debilitating in many ways, is quite common. There's nothing wrong with us fornot trusting ourselves...it isn't something we've been specifically encouraged or trained to do. Like withappreciation, authenticity, or many other important aspects of our life and growth, the first step in ourprocess of expansion is to notice and tell the truth about why it can be difficult. In the case of self-trust,once we're able to honestly acknowledge our challenge with it (and have some compassion about it), wecan start to consciously choose to trust ourselves in a more real way.

What makes it difficult or challenging for you to fully trust yourself? Take a moment to consider this. Themore aware of this we can be, with empathy, the more likely we are to move beyond it and let go of our

story about why we can't trust ourselves.

Here are a few things you can do to enhance your ability to trust yourself:

Listen to your inner wisdom . We all have inner wisdom. Some of us refer to this as our intuition, otherscall it our gut, and still others relate to it as our high consciousness. Whether you call it one or all of these things (or something else), I believe that we're all very intuitive and that we each have a deep


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sense of what is true and right for us in most situations. As we practice listening to this inner wisdom(through meditation, prayer, quiet time, breath, conscious thought, and more), we begin to trustourselves on a deeper level.

Be willing to take risks, go for it, and make mistakes . So often we don't try things because we think we

might fail. I love Michael Jordan's quote about this, he said, I missed 100% of the shots I never took.While it can be scary for us to take risks in life, one of the greatest ways we can build our capacity forself-trust is to go for it...even if we fail. As we build up our ability to take risks, we also grow our capacityfor courage, which in turn expands our ability to trust ourselves.

F orgive yourself! This is a life-long process and is vital as it relates to self-trust. One of the main reasonswe don't trust ourselves is that we haven't forgiven ourselves for mistakes we've made, pain we'vecaused, or regrets we have. These demons from our past haunt us and we use them as evidence tonot go for things and not trust ourselves. As we enhance our capacity to forgive ourselves, we heal fromthe past and breathe new life into our experience. This creates a genuine sense of enthusiasm for boththe present moment and for our future. And, as we're able to forgive ourselves, we can let go of ourattachment to being perfect and having to do everything just right...which then allows us to trustourselves more freely.

Think of something important in your life right now a decision you've been on the fence about becauseyou're worried about making the wrong choice (i.e. not trusting yourself). Given what we've beendiscussing here, if you fully trusted yourself in this moment, what would you do in regards to thisimportant issue? I bet if you listen to your inner wisdom, allow yourself to take a risk, and know that youcan forgive yourself no matter what happens the answer to the question what should I do? in thissituation is quite clear.

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