Peculiar Stories Mora Fields

8/6/2019 Peculiar Stories Mora Fields

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PeculiarStories

Mora Fields

Illustrated byMolly Aurora Koester

O Street PublishingEugene, Oregon


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Contents

Hello . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1

Swinging . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 3Birdhouse . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 13

Being Somebody Else . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 21

Intergalactic Beans . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 31

Train . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 37

Dogsense. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 41

Tea Demons . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 47

Absent-Minded . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 55

ought Machine . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 63

Breathing Underwater . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 75

What You Can Learn from Your Cat . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 79

Magic. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 87


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1

Peculiar Stories

HELLO, ladies and gentlemen of the world.I havent had a chance to meet most of you yet since

I wont turn ten for another five months and I haventreally been much of anywhere so far. I do know almost

everybody in this town, though, and quite a few dogs. ButI guess thats just a drop in the bucket, since I recently

found out that there are almost seven billion people wholive here on Earth. I figured if I wrote down these stories,

at least you could get to know about me and Uncle E andJasmin and, okay, even Sy, and then you could decide if youeven wantedto meet us or not. With seven billion people

to meet, it might save you some time.

Another reason Im writing these stories down is so Iwont forget them. Uncle E says that kids are smart whentheyre little and they get dumber as they grow up. I dont

know if that s true, but if it is, then someday I can just readthese stories and remember what I used to know.

Some people dont believe much of what Uncle E says,

and I cant really blame themhe does say some pretty


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2 Peculiar Stories

strange things. But since he is about my favorite bean onthis entire planet, I dont mind if he is a little unusual.

Uncle E lives three blocks away in a yellow house that

has a big back yard like a jungle, with the trees and vinesall tangled up together. When you climb a tree, you canscoot along one branch and onto the branch of another

tree, and climb down that one. He usually has vegetablesin his garden, most of which Ive gotten to like if they are

cooked correctly, which not everyone knows how to do.And theres a big swing in his back yard. He put it up just

for me, to make sureI would come over a lot, so even if Ididnt want to visit him I could just come by and swing.

is works pretty good because sometimes I really just

want to hang out with Uncle E but I can act like I cameover to swing, in case hes busy or doesnt feel talkative like

he sometimes gets.

I could tell you what we look like, and the kinds ofthings we do, but that will probably get told along the way,so Ill just tell these stories instead. eyre stories about

me and Uncle E, who Jasmin sometimes says isjust a little

peculiar. So I guess they are kind of peculiar stories.


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3

Swinging

Did I mention that Uncle E is my uncle because he ismy real dads brother?

He put up the swing for my seven and a-halfth birthday.I didnt even know it was my half-birthday, but he measuredit right to the very single day. He invited me and Jasmin

and Sy over to his house after school, and we ate chocolatecaramel cake that had seven whole candles and one half-

a-candle, and drank pink lemonade. en we went out to

the maple tree in his backyard. It has a big trunk and giantleafy branches, but they start too high up for me to climb;besides, the grownups made it off-limits because kidsmight fall out. ere was a long piece of canvas hanging

down from the biggest branch all the way to the ground,which I wondered what the heck it was. en Uncle E

said Vwah-lah! and pulled the canvas off, and it landedright on Sys head. He had to crash around to get out,like my cat Fred trying to get out of a paper bag after she

somehow got in by mistake. Jasmin and I laughed so hardI almost wet my pants, which I havent since I was five.


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4 Peculiar Stories

But fortunately I didnt, and then when I came back tonormal I saw a wooden swing seat hanging down on two

thick ropes.

Not any little-kid swing, either. e ropes had knots

to rest your hands on, long ropes so the swing could goreally high. ere was a sanded wood seat, smooth but not

too shiny. I jumped on right away and everybody pushedme, and I pumped myself, too, and then everybody took

turns swinging because it was big enough for grownupstoo. Uncle E had raked up a big pile of dry leaves in frontof the swing so you could jump out and land in them and

roll around, too, if you felt like it, and listen to them popand crunch. We all did that, even Sy.

Sy, who I mentioned before, is my stepdad. He gotmarried to Jasmin, who is my mom, and moved into our

house when I started second grade. I dont hate him like

I used to, even though he tells the dumbest jokes in theuniverse, because at least he is good at skateboarding. Heshowed me some really good moves, and now the little

kids try to copy me.

I already told you how Uncle E made the swing for me

so I could come over any time I wanted and swing. Butalso he taught me some stuff about swinging I didnt know

before.

I do know how to pump and get going really high, and

I know to hold on tight when youre really flying, because


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Swinging 5

when youre at the very highest part, the ropes get realloose, and the whole swing gives a little skip when it stops

going forward but doesnt start going backward yet, whichis kind of cool. Anyhow, I can also jump out at just theright second, which is when the swing is on its way back,

and just at the right split second you fly out frontwards,and I can land on my feet. I can swing standing up, too.

e first time I came over to swing, Uncle E tested me

out on all these things and said I passed and I could swingwithout someone watching me all the time, and he went inthe house. But after a few minutes he came out again and

sat down next to where I was swinging and said he forgotto test me on one last thing.

I have to test your vision, he said, looking up at mevery serious, which is how I knew he wasnt kidding. Its

no good swinging if you cant see right.

I can see right, I said, kind of huffy. I dont wear glassesor contacts or anything. I see just fine, which he knows

perfectly well.

Oh good, he said, like that was the right answer. And

then he leaned against the tree and his head went backand forth, back and forth, while he watched me swing. e

next time I looked he was sitting on the ground with hisknees up, and I could see he had a raggedy hole in one ofthe knees of his jeans.


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So, he said, what does it look like when youre

swinging?

I started pumping and got going pretty good. Okay,I said, I see the ground, and its got clumps of grass withteeny white flowers. eres a pile of leaves in front of the

swing. e vegetable garden has broccoli, and the radishes

are coming up, and there are lots of weeds. I was goingabout as high as the swing could go now, so I told him,I can even see into Fishs yardhes out there picking


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Swinging 7

berries, Uncle E, and now hes waving at me. And then Ihad to take a break from talking and wave back at Uncle

Es neighbor, Fish, who doesnt look like a Fish at all butjust got that nickname somehow. And then theres the skyand some clouds, I finished up. And I see you down there

on the ground.

No, no, no, he said, and he moaned and held his headlike he all of a sudden got a headache. He stood back up

again and came around in front of where I was swinging.I dont mean tell me whatthings you see, I want to know

what the things are doing. Is everything just there, looking

just the same whether youre coming forward or goingbackward, if youre high or if youre low?

I thought about that a minute and then I said yeah, helooked pretty much the same to me whether I was going

forward or backward.

What about how big I am? Am I the same size when youre all the way forward as when youre all the way

back?

Well, no. I mean you really are the same size but

you dont look the same size. You look smaller when I gobackward and then you look bigger when I come forward.

at was pretty true, cause he was wearing his red T-shirtthat said You Are Here on the front in kind of medium-size letters, and I could read it better when I was closer

because it looked bigger.


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8 Peculiar Stories

Now were getting somewhere, he said, and rubbed hishands together like he was getting warm at a fire. Okay.

Now swing some more, and watch how things change sizewhen youre closer or farther away.

So I did that for a while, and it did start seeming likethings actually got bigger and smaller instead of me just

getting closer and farther. If you try it youll probably seewhat I mean. It was kind of cool, but of course I know

that really things dont change size. It was an illusion, likewhen people in the desert think they see pools of water inthe sand, but they arent really there. ey are mirages. We

read a story about mirages at school. I mentioned that toUncle E just in case he didnt know, about how the sizes

changing were just illusions.

Hmmmmm, he said. Uncle E says hmm like hes

humming, so its almost like a little tune. But let me just

ask you this. When youre swinging, are you sitting still orare you moving?

at seemed like a pretty dumb question, but I just gave

a plain answer, Im moving.

But how do you know? he asked me. Now his eyebrowswere raised way up so they made a peak in the middle of

his forehead and he was leaning his head over to one side,with his curly brown hair all sticking out to that side. Ikinda wanted to laugh, but I didnt.


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Swinging 9

Well, that question seemed even dumber, since it waspretty plain that I was going forward and backward on the

swing. But I dont like to make Uncle E feel bad, especiallysince some people say he is a little peculiar, so I tried tothink about how I knew that I was moving. Sometimes its

hard to explain things in words when its just so simple foreveryone to see, but I thought of some things.

I feel the air going by when Im swinging, I said. And

I see different things when Im all the way forward or allthe way backward. And things get bigger when I get closerto them.

Aha! he yelled. ats exactly it! Dont you feel the wind

sometimes when youre standing still? e wind just blowsitself! When things come towards you, they get bigger,dont they? And then they go past you and disappear, so

sometimes you see them and sometimes you dont. Maybe

you are the one thats staying in one place and everythingelse is moving. What about that? What about that? UncleE was hopping around and combing his fingers through

his curly brown beard, like he was dancing the bezerka.

Well that was about the dumbest thing yet, but I couldnt

think of any more ideas to show him how wrong he was.en I thought of this: Sometimes Im in front of the tree

trunk and sometimes Im behind it. And trees dont move.

I felt sorry for him then because I knew he would have toadmit about how silly he was being. He is usually not that

dumb.


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10 Peculiar Stories

He was rubbing his beard slower now, and thinking,and I figured he was going to give up, but then he said,

You know that computer game you have? e one withthe race cars? You know how it looks like youre going pastall the scenery and buildings and trees, and you pass other

cars and other cars pass you? Here comes a riveror abig building, andzooooomyoure past it? But really,

youre just sitting there in your chair, youre not moving

at all. First the building is in front of you, then its gone.e scenery is getting bigger and smaller, giving you the

illusion youre moving. But actually youre just sitting therein your chair playing a computer game, right?

I guess, I said, kind of quiet.

We all think trees dont move. But how about if youpretend youre on a different planet, maybe Jupiter, where

possibly, maybe, trees do move? What if you just temporarily

pretend you dont know whether things move or not, andyou only pay attention to what it actually looks like andfeels like when you swing? You feel the air blowing. ings

get bigger and smaller. e tree trunk is in front of youand suddenly it disappears. What if you notice, one moretime, if it seems like everything else is moving and you are

staying still?

Okay, I said, mostly just to not hurt his feelings.

But partly I was wondering if what he was talking aboutmade any sense at all, or if he was actually bonkers like Sy

sometimes says, but hes only kidding.


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Swinging 11

I was all the way slowed down now. He fuzzed my hair,which is when he rubs the top of my head in fast circles,

and then its hard to comb out afterwards. Im goinginside now, he said. You swing some more and see what

you think. And he left.

So here is what I did. I swang a long time and pretended

all the stuff moved and I stayed in the same place. enI imagined I was playing the racecar computer game,

with the scenery moving and me just sitting in the chair.I pretended things like trees could actually move, and I

watched them getting bigger and smaller. And when Uncle

E finally came out again, I just said this:

I dont know.

And for some reason Uncle E yelled, YES! and twirled

around and threw some armfuls of leaves from the leaf pileup in the air so they floated all around. And then he pushed

me on the swing for a while till it started to get dark.

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Peculiar Stories Mora Fields