Pastorale January 2015

2 | PASTORALE | JANUARY2015 WWW.PASTORALEMAGAZINE.COM

04 ON THE COVER

06 LETTER FROM THE EDITOR

08 HOMETOWN HEROES

12 MUSIC FEATURE - EARNESTLY EARNEST

16 MUSIC ARTICLE -AMERICAN FOOTBALL ...

22 MUSIC ARTICLE - DECLASSIFIED

24 COVER MUSIC FEATURE - THE DODOS

32 MUSIC REVIEWS

34 BEAUTY ARTICLE - NEWYEAR HAIR

36 BEAUTY ARTICLE- DO YOU WANNA GO VIRGIN...

38 FASHION EDITORIAL - WHISPERS IN WINTER LIGHT

52 FASHION EDITORIAL - THE KING OF THE CITY

66 FASHION EDITORIAL - I’M LOOKING THROUGH...

76 FASHION ARTICLE -FASHION FIT.

78 FASHION EDITORIAL - INTO THE WOODS

86 HOROSCOPE

88 IN THE NEXT ISSUE...


LOGAN KROEBER AND MERIC LONGFROM THE DODOS

AT PAULIFORNIA STUDIOSPHOTOGRAPH BY PAULIFORNIA

6 | PASTORALE | JANUARY 2015 WWW.PASTORALEMAGAZINE.COM

Pastorale is an online-only magazine, produced with the intent to unify music, fashion and lifestyle into a congruent publication. As individuals, we all possess a variety of diverse tastes; it is our purpose to mirror these variances and to incite reflection and intellect. We are not a men’s magazine. We are not a women’s magazine. We are a human magazine. Our articles are not fluff. We aspire to produce an experience for our readers, to compel thought provoking opinions and to inspire creativity in all. Collaboration is what makes this special. We are you.

ATTN: BANDS AND MUSICIANS

WE’RE DOINGMUSIC/ ALBUM REVIEWS

IN A VERY FUN WAY. IF YOU’D LIKE TOBE REVIEWED, SEND TO

[email protected]

publisherPAULIFORNIA

editor in chiefPAUL RIVERA

managing editorJACKIE SUEHR

fashion directorSASHA GOLDENBERGER

music directorPAUL RIVERA

creative directorPAUL RIVERA

editorial contributorsCOREY MANSKE, JACKIE SUEHR,

AYLA HENDERSON, PAUL RIVERA, THAO TIET,

MAREN GALINDO, KELSEY LOECHNER

photographic contributorsPAULIFORNIA, COLIN SOKOL

RYLE WATSON, HOLLY PENDERGRAST

GABRIEL ERVIN, ASHLEY BAIRD

Hey Everyone,

So do you actually read this part? I hope so cause this is a lot of work too! Haha. First off thanks for an awesome 2014. So amazing to see the support we’re starting to get. We are working so hard to make this something you love to read monthly. We see that about 20k of you a month read our magazine. Why so quiet? We want to know you! Say what’s up on our social media. Tell us what you like. Tell us what you hate! Even if you want to keep quiet and not say “Hi”, thanks for reading and checking us out. It means a lot to me personally. No joke.

With new endeavors you hear about “growing pangs” or “pains” depending on who you talk to. We are totally experiencing this right now as we grow. We’re so happy to announce we have two more staffers coming aboard for our next issue. Rickie Bocanegra and Maren Galindo who will be our beauty editors for our beauty section which we want to be awesome for you guys and has been lacking as of late. Mainly cause we get and do the articles near last, so they haven’t been receiving that special attention we want to give to them. We’re happy that we have Maren and Rickie cause we know that the beauty section is in capable hands. Also, the pains we’re feeling with growth is this whole music review thing. We found out a couple things. 1. That bands are truly scared to have their music honestly reviewed which means they either know they are lacking in skill or just too chickenshit to hear anything that might be potentially negative. And, 2. That asking 10 people to listen to several albums and EPs, and having them write a quick review (for free since we’re still a small magazine) is hard to do. We had a plethora of people wanting to do reviews but not many fol-low through which is totally understandable, and we’re not upset at all about it. We actually get it, and want to thank the people who participated again for the time they put in. So this month’s kick- off music reviews are going to just be a taste of what we want to do until we can get organized or even find someone to run it. We don’t want to do things half-assed. You deserve the best.

With that being said we’ve got some sweet covers set in motion and we’re always working hard to get you good content. So cheers to a New Year, and thank you for being a part of our little experi-ment Pastorale Magazine.

Love and Emo, Editor - in - ChiefPaul Rivera

Filename: Pastorale

Date: May 27, 2014

Creative Director: Zander Vera

Publications: Pastorale

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‘Couch Guitar Straps’ have been around for several years and are known for making one of the best Guitar straps around, using original stock vinyl from vintage cars, and using all cruelty-free (meaning vegan) materials. They truly have found a niche market with a wider audience than other manufacturers of the same types of products. Not only are they masters of guitar straps they also make wallets, belts, drum stick bags, grooming kits, camera straps, and pick holders. They do everything inside their little workshop in Signal Hill, Cal-ifornia. Each member of the team having a specific duty and each member seeming to be a key player in the making of all Couch products. We always knew Couch Guitar Straps would be a hometown hero, now seems like a per-fect time right? After dodging a dog bite or two from their dog Pinocchio, and being warned that their bird Chirper was almost guaranteed to bite me, I had the chance of sitting down with Dan Perkins the founder and head honcho in his office to talk about their business.

Pastorale: When did Couch Guitar Straps initially start?

Dan Perkins: We say since 1999 on our stuff, and we really did start in 1999. It was definitely a hobby and a craft around that time. I think I showed you. We made a dark red seat belt guitar strap with a picture of the Virgin of Guadalupe sewn on to the front of it. We actually sold them on Fourth and Junipero (streets in Long Beach, California). I’m trying to think of the name of the store - Songbird is there now. It was originally a long time ago when Portfolio (Long Beach Coffee Shop) was one of the first places there. It was called Siren. We did a lot of religious iconography like that. Monica, the owner of the store, we made one or two for our friends and she said, “Make some more. I’ ll sell them in my store.” Maybe we sold 10 or 20 in her store, and that was the start of Couch in 1999.

Pastorale: That’s awesome. I think some of your earlier designs, you had that - You call it the racer stripe right?

Dan Perkins: Yeah, the ‘Racer X’.

Pastorale: “Racer X’, does that have to do with like the old Fender racer stripe on the old Fender guitars?

Dan Perkins: It does. It has to do with that sort of classic thing. You see it on old surfboards in the 60s and Adidas through the 70s, 80s, and 90s, and vintage racing cars, vintage music gear, vintage jackets, you know the old bowling bags…it was sort of something that we or at that time I saw that always timelessly looked good. It looked good in different generations and with different subsets of people that had different style perspectives, and that was always the idea from the beginning was to settle on things that looked good but were more classic and less ephemeral.

Pastorale: Yeah, it kind of reminded me of the whole early 90s Nirvana grunge era where everybody started going back to those old 60s guitars and moding them and making them kind of unique.

Dan Perkins: Absolutely, and there was definitely a nod to Fender, without a doubt. Those are the main guitars that I always played.

Pastorale: Isn’t that funny? Just a stripe, one stripe and we all kind of think of Fender from that era.

Dan Perkins: Yeah, and quite literally. I had a Telecaster and I was looking for a strap for it and I couldn’t find one, so I really designed it to go with my Telecaster at that time.

Pastorale: And as a guitarist, I think that’s probably one of the reasons you probably started. It always seemed like there was this dilemma where as a guitarist you have very few choices for guitar straps.

Dan Perkins: Yeah, it was kind of easy game, really, because I was like, God, I’m not really a designer. I’m a musician, but (speaking of most of the big brand guitar straps) the designs are so ...

Pastorale: Poor?

Dan Perkins: At least poor from my perspective of what I was looking for. Other people kind of liked them, but from my point of view, they were missing so much. Like if I just go for something that I think looks good without trying to stretch myself or change the way the world looks, just take some things that I like and bring it into this world. Hopefully if I like it, hopefully other people will like it. Really at the beginning, it really was something for a couple friends. I thought well, to get them made, I’m like, well we’re going to have at least a few dozen made. It’s going to cost me a little bit of money and I didn’t have any money to - but if I do a decent job, I can sell some to friends and maybe a couple in a couple stores and get my money back and I’ ll have the strap that I wanted. I wouldn’t have been able to get if I only wanted one, because no one’s going to give me one. And that’s how it kind of got going.

Pastorale: You guys are doing something that is special and unique in the guitar strap world. One is your straps are made a little longer. So you’re given more comfort.

Dan Perkins: Yes.

Pastorale: Which, again, it comes through the whole search for that perfect guitar strap. There’s a million different guitars, a million different body shapes. It’s cool that you guys hint at the fact that Couch Guitar Straps are kind of built by musicians for musicians, you know? So you understand what it’s like playing shows, rehearsing, touring, etc. You know firsthand the struggle for a good fitting guitar strap.

Dan Perkins: It wasn’t really available. I mean based on what I was looking for. You’d kind of get black, you know? When we first started like early, early 2000s, latest of the 1990s, there were a couple of companies that were kind of doing it, or they looked good, but the straps didn’t last. I got a strap and I think it was $40 at that time. It was a lot of money, especially 15 years ago, and it was really cool, but after about 6 months, when I played guitar, I was in a band, it wasn’t even a vegan strap. It was a leather strap, but the leather ripped. It was starting to fall apart. That was the thing. Like I found some straps that worked all right. There was a couple that looked pretty cool, but they’re expensive and they didn’t last. They weren’t really built by guitar players. They were built by fashion designers that had good perspective, but just didn’t get it.

Pastorale: Speaking of which, you’re reminding me of when I was in high school, we’d buy an additional guitar strap, and we would actually sew on more length just to have the guitar lower. Kinda funny. Another thing that I think people would appreciate is that you guys also use vinyl. You showed me some amazing vinyl from old cars.

Dan Perkins: Old cars and old furniture, yeah.

Pastorale: Stuff you can’t really duplicate now. No one’s doing that vinyl with these really cool textures and multi-colors.

Dan Perkins: Yeah, and at that time, we didn’t really know that it was vintage per se, or even old. We were just going to these old vinyl stores and we might find a pattern that we really liked, like the one that you were talking about, like the 80s Mercedes is one that comes to mind. I was like, “Wow! 1960s star kind of psychedelic pattern is so cool”, and I would get some, and make a sample or two and then I would go back to the store, the upholstery shop, and go, “I want to get that.” They would say, “That doesn’t exist. You bought the last of it. We don’t have that. That’s vintage. It’s dead stock.” I’m like, “Oh.” Then you see it somewhere else, and you get the last of it, but we didn’t know we were necessarily getting vintage stuff. At first, we were just getting what we liked. What we found out is most of the patterns or even just the colors that we liked were from different eras, so you have to go get the vintage - just by virtue of what we liked, taste-wise, ended up being a vintage. Around that time, people really into the zeitgeist gave the idea of up-cycling and recycling in the production process and re-purposing stuff.

Pastorale: Yeah, you guys were doing this before the whole movement became a trend.

Dan Perkins: We were. We really were. In the mid-2000s, I remember, we were interviewed for a magazine in Orange County. It was their green issue. The first time I ever heard of the term. “What do you even mean?” She said, “You’re up-cycling and you’re re-purposing.” And I was like, “Oh! We are!” But it was really more like …

Pastorale: Unintentional?

Dan Perkins: Yeah. An aesthetic thing, and we liked the vintage idea once we realized that it was an aesthetic thing. Once we realized that a lot of the patterns

HOMETOWN HEROES are Small Businesses, Hand Crafted Artisans,

Do It Yourselfers, and Inspirers. Trailblazing their ownpaths in their community by actually doing

something special with their hands, hearts and/ or minds.

HAVE A SEATwith COUCH GUITAR STRAPS.S T O R Y A N D P H O T O S B Y P A U L I F O R N I A

continued on page 10

HOMETOWN HEROES are Small Businesses, Hand Crafted Artisans,

Do It Yourselfers, and Inspirers. Trailblazing their ownpaths in their community by actually doing

something special with their hands, hearts and/ or minds.


and colors we liked belonged to specific cars, it was even more interesting. Once the sort of concept, the idea of re-purposing kind of came into being something that people think about when they make stuff and when they buy stuff and when they look for stuff, we were right there at the beginning and we really were excited about that idea, and we are positioned in a space where we had already spent years based on doing that without even knowing we were doing it. So we were really in a spot to really leverage that and get creative and think of new ways to do it more different or in a larger way than a lot of people, a lot of crafters, could do. We sort of like became super crafters (laughs).

Pastorale: It’s true, and on top of that, you guys also have a cruelty-free mantra which is very appealing. I mean, back in high school, a lot of my straight-edged friends were like, “I can’t find any vegan guitar straps anywhere.” Again, the search for that perfect guitar strap, and a lot of times we were hand-making our own jerry-rigged versions. And like you said, they didn’t last though (laughs). If you’re playing a show, you’re rocking out, you’re trusting your $1000 guitar on your shoulders, it’s kind of important to have something that can hold up and stay strong, but at the same time maintains the values you have as an individual. I think that’s what you guys are capturing.

Dan Perkins: Yeah. You touched on a couple of things, but we always have made - everything we’ve done has been vegan. It’s one thing to say you’re going to make vegan guitar straps, but it’s also one of the reasons we went for six years probably to the mid-2000s before we really had a design or were able to make them in a quantity that we could sell them to a few of our friends, or a couple to a few music stores, because I had to spend years designing a vegan guitar strap that lasted. The standard was, it needed to last as long or longer than the average, or better than average, leather-end guitar strap. It took a long time. We had a lot of custom-made, extremely specialized machinery that basically was created to make vegan guitar straps. You could definitely say, the world’s most sophisticated machinery to make vegan products. No one has anything more - no one’s committed more time and focus and knowledge needed to doing that. Again, it was just sort of what we want to do. I didn’t think there was going to be that much demand for it. I figured there was going to be at least someone in Germany might want one, and someone in San Francisco might want one, but I didn’t know. I didn’t really have an idea that there was going to be that kind of interest. It was really cool and at the end, after spending years of designing this vegan yet functional design.

Pastorale: Yeah, functional is a great word to put it.

Dan Perkins: Again, that was sort of the thing. We always had an aesthetic. The aesthetic I designed was always easy. For us, it was like, “Whoa.” We like that pattern or this looks good. Anyone can go around and look and go, “Well that looks good,” or “I’d make that.” It’s kind of the same way like, you know I can go around and listen to bands, but if I was in a band, my band would sound like this and this. But it’s another thing to go figure out function and how do you construct that? How do you actually make that work? Any 16-year old kid can tell me what is a good band, as if I don’t know by listening, but show me by playing is - that’s where the process takes years of little journeys. You have to perform. You have to make it work. You have to put it in a store and hopefully, it lasts, and we spent years. We’re still doing it. It’s still a major struggle. What are the materials that are best? What’s the selling process that’s best? What’s the best tension? How do you strengthen it and the functional aspect is really the challenge here.

Pastorale: Yeah and I mean, I think your work has proven itself. Just

today, I was just like, “I’m going to double-check the website, see if there’s anything I kind of need to know when coming”, because I’ve already been a supporter of you guys. I was blown away. Brian May (Queen) has your strap. Donny Harrison (George Harrison’s son), then Carrie Brownstein (Sleater-Kinney). It’s just cool to see Brian May, that’s gigantic. I mean it’s Queen! Brian May and his father hand-made his guitar because no guitar was good enough! And look he’s using your straps.

Dan Perkins: Yeah, we actually need to update the website. It’s been on our to-do list the whole month, we just haven’t gotten to it, because obviously the busiest time of the year is now.

Pastorale: It just goes to show that you guys found something that works, and that works for a lot of people. A lot of those people happen to be professional musicians or just the people who are like you and I who have our bands on the side. We have our day jobs, but we still play music, you know?

Dan Perkins: It’s definitely on our pictures, whether it be product descriptions on our site, or mailers, there are some pretty amazing professional musicians that use our straps. But for photo time, it’s really important, I think, to give equal billing to some of them we don’t know, or our friends. That’s on the product description and what we’re looking for is a good picture as far as what we’ ll use. Is it authentic? Is that someone we’d be a fan of or would like to know, or do we understand what they’re doing? Especially, if it’s a different way than we thought. One of the best joys of making something creative is when somebody uses it in a different way than you intended it. It looks good. Anytime we can see a photo of someone, I love to put them up, whether it’s a super mega rock star, like a good local band, or someone that we’ve never met that’s one of our customers. It’s fun to give people equal billing with rock stars.

Pastorale: That’s really cool. I think that many people appreciate that. I think one thing that attracted me to your company is its authenticity. It’s just you guys. There’s no fluff. It’s just you guys doing what you do, and it just happens to be really awesome.

Dan Perkins: We’re lucky. We definitely would not be who we are without everyone that works here. The authenticity is what makes Couch. As far as who works here, most people I knew before Couch, or I know them outside of Couch before they came here, and I respect all of them. It’s like musicians and people with perspectives, and I’ve seen them play. I know that they can have a view either on how something looks, how something works, how it plays. It definitely gives us an authenticity. When someone calls on the phone, someone here answers the phone that understands music or understands guitars, or they understand culture in a way that represents our company. We try to only make sure that people that have our perspective or challenge our perspective or within that sphere are part of it, people that are here. The other side of that is like when I was making Couch. I was a musician. I couldn’t get a job other than being a caterer at weddings or something. I just didn’t want to quit the one thing. I’ve been playing music for so long. I’ve seen so many people and so many bands where they’re like, “If I don’t make it by next year, I’m going to quit.” I’m just like, “Dude, quit now. Just save yourself the year. Like what are you?” I wanted to make a job where I could keep playing, and I needed to play, and I didn’t have to be embarrassed about my day job or night job or whatever. I also wanted to get good experience doing stuff. I hope, like as far as the people that work here, my goal for everyone that works here is that they can play music and they can be a little bit free-er to play, related to have to deal with society when you’re getting home from band practice or a show or a tour. You don’t have this crappy job or embarrassing. Not even a crappy job, maybe a job that you’ve been working at too long, doing that thing that, you know?

Pastorale: Right.

Dan Perkins: Long story short, I think we’re really lucky to have who we do that works here. That, I think, really is what creates our authenticity is the people that make up the company, which is amazing for me, because I’m just like, “Whoa! I just used to sew and craft in my garage for years.” I can’t say never imagined it. I did imagine it. I just can’t believe that what I imagined is like…

Pastorale: Everything seems to be falling into place.

Dan Perkins: Yeah! It’s insane!

Pastorale: That’s awesome.

Dan Perkins: Mind-blowing. I’m so lucky and it’s just fun, you know (laughs)?

Make sure to check out Couch Guitar Straps athttps://www.couchguitarstraps.com

JANUARY 2015 | PASTORALE | 11


Kevin Earnest, a singer/songwriter pursuing his dream in Los Angeles has a few simple components to his work that we here at Pastorale Magazine respect. Hard work, dedication to your craft, and enjoying what you do! After years of searching for the right place for his music

he has nestled in and made a home right where he belongs. Kevin is creating music that speaks to his genuine self that audiences can appreciate and connect to. Currently recording, and playing live shows in support of his album ‘You Feel Like Home’, Kevin sat down with us to chat about the things that have lead him to where he belongs.

Pastorale Magazine: How did your start with music begin?

Kevin Earnest: I did choirs and things like that in my mom’s church really young, and begged my parents for a guitar and they thought it would just be a fad. They were like we’re not getting this guitar. You like one thing one minute, like first you want Nintendo, and then you want Sega type of thing. So, I went out, borrowed my mom’s lawn mower and went door to door in my neighborhood Washington Square in Santa Ana and saved up for a guitar for three months. I just mowed everybody’s yards. I bought my first guitar from a pawn shop in Garden Grove and taught myself how to play.

Pastorale: That’s a great story to have. So you bought your own guitar…what did you buy?

Kevin: The model was called a Prelude. It was an acoustic guitar. It was really crappy, but it was enough to get me where I was going … or where I wanted to go anyway.

Pastorale: You started playing at around 13 years old?

Kevin: Yes.

Pastorale: Then did you play on your own, work your way into bands, try to start a band right away?

Kevin: What interested me about the guitar so much is that it was really easy to put vocals to. I just immediately went into songwriting. I never took a lesson. I’ve still never taken a lesson or anything in my life, just because I just want to write songs. I just want to construct. There was a lot of kids growing up that would be shredders. I just wanted to sing. That’s all I wanted to do. I would jam with kids around 13 or 14. It was just a garage thing, and nobody really wanted to make it serious. I was always so serious as a kid, and started finally playing in bands around 15. Nothing that would last more than 4 or 5 months. Just insert genre here. I just wanted to play music. It was interesting. There was so much punk going on at that time. I loved classical music as a kid, and the Beach Boys.

Pastorale: I was just going to ask you, what were you listening to at this time?

Kevin: Pop. Like Stevie Wonder and Beach Boys. Everything was vocally central. I was obsessed about vocalists, Michael Jackson, things like that. Yeah, I was an angsty teenager and felt the need to rebel, but I didn’t want to rebel musically. I felt like punk was too jagged for me. It wasn’t soft enough, but I pretended. I was in punk bands. I remember doing guitar in a ska band. It was still a lot of fun. I didn’t want to pursue that genre. Obviously, to each their own. There’s still great punk bands, that I look back, that I listened to fondly, Operation Ivy and things like that. I love that band, a really good band. It just wasn’t me. Growing up in the same area, those bands were something you couldn’t get away from. Even if you were locked away in your room listening to something completely different, those big-name bands at that period down in Orange County was what was going on, what the kids were chattering about.

Pastorale: Moving into established bands. Can you tell our readers a little bit about your history as far as bands, even if they weren’t really in the genre that you were ultimately wanting to pursue?

Kevin: I loved Sunny Day Real Estate growing up, and I wanted to be in a band like that, but that is not me. I don’t have the cool vocal sound that that guy has. He’s intricate, unique, and I’m more edgier pop, I guess, but I started playing with high school friends, and we were I guess at that point considered indie bands, and we’d do the Orange County thing, and play The Hub and Chain Reaction and all of that. It was still fun, but it felt like I wasn’t being me. I like three and a half minute songs. Like I said I love Michael Jackson, Stevie Wonder, and Ray Charles. Soulful things with movement, and the indie rock at that time definitely wasn’t that. I dedicated a lot of time, recorded a lot of demos. Late teens, early 20s, and it just didn’t seem right. I played in bands till about my mid-20s and then just decided to go solo and do something completely different. At that time, I had only played guitar, and I felt that I really need to challenge myself and figure out a different way to write

music that I could be happy making, and so the piano was just the natural choice. Which by the way, I really wish I would have started with piano. I started playing the piano and these songs just flew, and they just came out of me, and it just seemed simple and easy and fun again. I got this particular keyboard with some OK sounds, but it allowed me to orchestrate and think of different instruments and different instrumentation. I just felt more in control, and I could make beautiful things and it didn’t matter.

Pastorale: And songwriting was really the focal point of that?

Kevin: Yes. All I wanted to do was just write what I wanted, and basically my first solo record ever was a compilation of every band’s “no”.

Pastorale: That’s funny. You are referring to your first album ‘These Years Have Been’?

Kevin: Yes.

Pastorale: I think one of the biggest things that people would notice as far as vocals go, when I listen to the two different time periods in your life of music is vocally, specifically, you’re very different between those bands that you would play in and your solo work, your voice was actually different. I don’t know if that was because you were allowed to do what you wanted to do, and you were singing the songs that you wanted to sing, but vocally, it was completely different. Would you agree with that?

Kevin: I would definitely agree with that. When you work with a band you want to make everybody feel like they’re contributing and they have their ideas. I think that when I was really young I had a vision and I tried to see that vision through, and had a lot of negative feedback with the members of ... I mean we were so young. My early twenties was kind of in around wanting to make everybody happy. It was never really any up tempo stuff and I could only sing within that realm. If there’s a half time thing I couldn’t be doing vocal runs.

Pastorale: Right, which you were fully capable of doing actually. It may have been a little hidden surprise for people later on.

Kevin: Even for me... I was just uncomfortable in my own skin and kind of afraid to try those types of things. When I did do that stuff, that first solo record, I wasn’t even worried about releasing it. I wasn’t worried about anybody hearing it. I made it very personal. I made it more conceptual of telling a story from start to finish. I finished tracking it and moved to Seattle right after that. I didn’t take a single instrument with me.

Pastorale: You didn’t take any instruments with you when you relocated?

Kevin: No. I chased love and wanted to experience something new. At that time, my dad went through several surgeries. He ended up getting a heart transplant. He was in critical care for a year and a half. It was trying times that I wanted to ... I was in a long distance relationship and it ended up working out.

Pastorale: Your wife?

Kevin: Yeah.

Pastorale: So you put this out and then you sort of go on a little bit of a journey that really isn’t about music. You’re able to make something of your own and then...

Kevin: It was like a release. I felt really ... accomplished isn’t the word, I just felt satisfied. Like I said, it was a compilation of everybody’s “no’s”. It wasn’t like an I told you so because I don’t have a platinum record anywhere. It just felt good to get it done and see it through, and do it myself and realize that you can meet goals without relying on people. You don’t necessarily need people to hold your hand or make you feel, that false sense of comfort-having a full group of guys in a room. You can write songs yourself and sometimes your ideas aren’t as bad your insecurities tell you they are.

Pastorale: Then you go to Seattle. You pursue personal life, love life….how do you end up making your sophomore album?

Kevin: I didn’t bring anything, and then I eventually started meeting musicians out there, and I played a little out there. It was just circumstantial. My magazine wasn’t doing well. It was around the time of the economic collapse. Katie said if you want to pursue your dreams, we’ ll move to Los Angeles.



Pastorale: It’s nice to have that kind of support in your life. So you were plugging along, doing a day job. This was life. Was it at the back of your mind that you wanted to create ‘You Feel Like Home’?

Kevin: No, it was at the forefront. Thirty days into no guitar I was freaking out. I needed to do music, and I’ve got to figure out how to make it work up here.

Pastorale: How did that album end up coming together? Was it another DIY album? Who produced that album?

Kevin: James Killington. I loved working with him. He introduced me to Antoine Arvizu at The Compound. That was awesome.

Pastorale: Is that where that album was recorded? The Compound?

Kevin: Yes.

Pastorale: How was your experience at the compound?

Kevin: I loved it. It was great. I had to relax at first. He’s very intense and he knows what he wants to get out of you and what type of sound he’s looking for. His sound, the way he does things so dialed in and so pro that it’s just amazing to hear on the playback. The second I let my personality come out, we ended up just making each other laugh and cracking jokes, which I ... from the first time I met him, like to the third or fourth time, I would have never thought we’d be making silly voices. He may not want everybody to know that, but he’s got a silly side. It was great. He ended up being a good friend of mine. I talk to him a lot and I still work with him every now and then. It’s always a positive experience with him.

Pastorale: Did recording at that location shape that record?

Kevin: I think we all knew what we wanted. Together, I think Antoine definitely got it and James just knew it needed to be recorded there. I had a deposit in at another studio and he was like let me call my friend and we drove right down there. That was it. Sometimes you just know.

Pastorale: It clicks.

Kevin: Yeah.

Pastorale: That album had quite a bit of momentum behind it. Explain a little bit of that ride for you and what that looks like now moving forward writing songs, recording again. Are you recording right now?

Kevin: I am recording. That album was basically the internship that will lead into a profession. It’s opened up so many doors for me. It was kind of a nice thing to pass along to people. Especially living in LA. I would always have it with me and give it to people and gain momentum that way. It got me a ton of meetings. It’s allowed me the ability to recruit members to play with me. A lot of positive things were said about it. A lot of people responded positively. I have really good sales with no marketing, which that’s unheard of and that’s great.

Pastorale: How do you think that happened?

Kevin: Me harassing people to check it out.

Pastorale: It was your personal work?

Kevin: Yes and no. I don’t want to take away from someone accidentally stumbling upon it and wanting to buy it. That would just be rude. I really did. I spent my life savings on recording it and after that I didn’t have any money for marketing so I would just do whatever I could. I hit up every blogger, magazine, or anything and just every day…. eight hours…find a new blog, send them a link. Email it to every single person I knew with full permission of passing on for free. It was just get it out, get it out. I’m not going to say it caught wildfire but it did enough to help me move forward in a good direction.

Pastorale: Where is that direction now?

Kevin: I’ve got 20 to 25 tracks that I want to start recording …and kind of pick the best from them. I signed with a great manager. She’s kept me really busy. I’ve been working with other publishing companies and writing things for other people and doing things ... been hired specifically to record for film. That’s been really nice.

Pastorale: Do you like that work?

Kevin: Yeah I love it. It’s really ... anything around music I’m completely happy with. When you’re young and you start you only see it one way. If it’s writing a jingle and that’s how I’m spending my day…. I’m not in a cubicle!


Pastorale: So that writing process, is it different than writing for your own album?

Kevin: One hundred percent.

Pastorale: Sitting down and writing with what is essentially an assignment?

Kevin: With an assignment, I’ ll get a song out in a day. I’ ll write it, track it here, and send it out.

Pastorale: So you can take time, set it aside, and accomplish that?

Kevin: There’s zero pressure and expectation for me to be hard on myself. When someone says, this is what I need. Get it done by the end of the day. You need to submit it to a song supervisor for them to make a decision. There’s no time to second guess it. What’s the worst thing that could happen? They’re going to say no and then I spent a day working on something that I could probably turn into something real. Then I’ ll kick it around for a year and be hard on myself and finally be happy with it.

Pastorale: So for your own stuff you’re a little more critical and hard on yourself?

Kevin: Yes. I’ ll rewrite choruses all the time. I’ ll listen to it back and vocals need work here. Very difficult but I think that’s good. I don’t think you should do a first draft on anything and pat yourself on the back, things can always get better.

Pastorale: Amen! It’s an exercise, for your brain!

Kevin: Yeah.

Pastorale: Both sides!

Kevin: I can’t stand ego. I cannot stand it. People that display ... There’s a difference between confidence and ego but people that are like, “Oh well that’s good. Let’s

move on.” Hey, let’s think about this. Let’s make it the best we can. Let’s make songwriting more of an art form than just whatever.

Pastorale: You have a unique dichotomy going on with you where you do this DIY part and it’s your blood, sweat, and tears and your down in the streets handing out your CD and making sure people hear it. Then, you’re also able to accept the fact that you have this ability to do this thing and you can accomplish an assignment for somebody. For some artists you are either one or the other.

Kevin: I think I just got comfortable in my own skin because like I said, in the late 90’s and early 2000’s, I just wanted to be like Sunny Day Real Estate. That’s something that I’m not. I’m not capable of it. There’s only one Sunny Day Real Estate. I know my limits and I still try to push my boundaries. I’m so comfortable with that, that I can feel good writing a song in a day and still having it be what I am. No matter what they ask, there are large hints of me in it. Either they like it or they don’t. Lyrically and with the syllables in the song, I stress about that on my own. Everything has to be perfect. If it’s an assignment, I have to get it done and I just let it go. A lot of that

is the ego. Just drop the ego. Be comfortable. You try ... I try.

Pastorale: So you are about to go on stage in just a little bit. How you feel before shows?

Kevin: I feel good. I’m at a point now where I’m playing with great musicians. They know the compositions and it’s just a lot of fun. I’m just happy with what I’m doing. If they don’t like it, they don’t like it. I don’t need to be so harsh about it. I don’t start or end a show thinking, “Oh if I just did this, if I just did that.” I am focused on performing for friends that come out and for the people there. I always have a good time. It hasn’t killed me yet.

Visit Kevin’s Facebook page for information on where to pur-chase his music and see him live at https://www.facebook.com/itskevinearnest and his website http://kevinearnest.com/ for oth-er details.



Like many of you who know of and have heard the band American Football not only do you think of the band itself, but many great bands of the real true “Indie / Emo music” days (forgive my “old man” jab there). When I first heard the band American Football it was because of their label Polyvinyl Recording Co. Poly-vinyl released a series called “CD Single Series” which consisted of some great bands. Simple packaging, all the same type of covers (blue and baby blue) with the name of the band(s) on the front in the same simple font. And the cost for these EPs were cheap, so it was a great way to find new bands or hear really cool rare singles of bands you already knew about. The band Braid did a split with Burning Airlines and each band covered a ‘80s song of their choosing. Braid covered Burt Bacharach-penned, Naked Eyes song ‘Always Something There to Remind Me’, while Burning Airlines covered Echo and the Bunnymen’s ‘Back of Love’. The single sold for $2. The bands Paris, Texas, Calvin Krime, and Sean Na Na all had singles in this series, and of course the one that started it all 001-American Football sold for $3. Everyone got the three song EP because it was Mike Kinsella’s new project. Mike Kinsella was (is) a god to the Indie/ Emo scene because of bands he was in- Cap’n Jazz’ and Joan of Arc. Naturally, anything he touched was bound to be gold. $3 and you couldn’t go wrong with at least trying American Football out.

Before I start writing and worshipping the band American Football, this re-union tour brought back some fond memories. None of which recent reunion tours have done for me. In the last few years I’ve seen reunions of some of my favorites like Sunny Day Real Estate, Far, and Mineral. I’ve even missed out on some great ones too like Gorilla Biscuits, Sense Field, The Promise Ring, Texas is the Rea-son, and Jimmy Eat World (Clarity Tour). Each show, or even announcement of a show didn’t give me the stir of nostalgia that American Football did (ok ok Mineral

was close). I immediately remembered what it was like talking with my buddies Joey and Ben about music and how we use to spend our last penny (some-times literally) at the record stores. We would frequent our favorite stores (for us it was Vinyl Solution in Huntington Beach, CA). We didn’t just go to look at records, but it was a chance to see what was happening for the weekend cause of all the flyers and posters that bands and their street teams would put up. We’d almost go record shopping out of sheer habit rather than to pur-chase. I remember going on my own sometimes and randomly running into a friend or someone that was just an acquaintance from shows. That usual-ly ended up with us taking a trip down south to a local hang out Taco Loco. There was this sense of community. A simple record store shopping trip could last a good 8 hours depending on who you ran into. Record stores were our coffee shops where instead of the injec-tion of caffeine, we were injected with

the music and all that comes with it. We were all addicts. Another reason we had that magnetic draw to record stores was we also wanted to see if any of our ‘zines’ (aka Fan-Zine) were sold. My friends and I all had our own, and each of ours were as emotional as can be. Mine had some horrible poetry about girls, and photos I took of bands at shows with my point and shoot. I also did music reviews and live show reviews, all hand-written of course and taped together and photocopied in black and white. Joey’s was all poetry, and even to this day his writing is humbling. I’ ll never live down my poor grammar and spelling from back then. I still get shit for it. But not anymore, I have an editor and spell check! Anyway... so these zines meant the world to us, cause we literally hand-made these things and assembled them at our local Kinkos. We didn’t care for the possibly of money being made off these. It was if people read them or not. I think it cost me $1.50 to make these and I sold them for like $3 so there was nothing in them financially, BUT those things were and are so special to me. To this day I can’t believe how honest I was and how much of my heart I poured out into writing and making those little booklets all for some kid who’s got an extra couple bucks to read and maybe feel what I was feeling at the time. Yeah we were known as emo kids, we wrote stuff that was sappy, heartfelt and honest. It was one of the most pure times of my life. You may laugh but the whole “ fan-zine” thing is why



this magazine started up. I loved doing those zines and always wanted to do one a little more professional (not hand-written) since I now have the capabilities to do so. I have to admit, Pastorale has become something I love and I’m so happy that you are reading this.

So I promise this all ties in together, this isn’t just a long rant of an aging hipster. Polyvinyl Records didn’t start out as a record store. It was a fan-zine that blew up. It wanted to distribute local music from the Illinois area. First by selling and distributing their zine “Polyvinyl Press” and by swapping with other zine writers (which was very common, we all swapped zines).As things naturally progressed they became a label which has brought us tons and tons of great bands that have molded us musically, and for some of us mentally and spiritually.

Which brings us back to American Football. When the three song EP came out it was a shocker. Many of us didn’t hear of really technical guitar work that was played clean. Some call it math rock, some call it something altogether. American Football became the staple of this new form of music but also melded well with the Indie/ Emo scene cause Mike’s lyrics were still heavy and heartfelt. Many of my friends at the time were blown away cause none of us could play guitar like that (then haha). What really made it hard for many of us is we wanted to see them live. Rumors started to circulate through fan-zines and AOL chat rooms that this wasn’t a band, that it was a studio project and that we’d never (especially on the west coast) see a show.

Then came the full length album (1999). HOLY MOTHER OF GOD! That album was amazing from start to finish. Surely American Football would tour now! Yes! THEY DID!!! Like 4 shows. All in Illinois and NY. “DAMN IT!” the west coast said. 19 year old Paul’s heart was broken again. Not by his high school girlfriend, but by his new love American Football. I think around the 2000s we all gave up and just figured American Football would always be that band who teased us but left us with a very special and very small discography. American Football is in thousands of thousands of people’s top 5 lists of best bands of all times.

About 15 years later rumors had circulated that American Football was going to do a reunion tour. Instantly we all took to the internet searching for answers. I found it! Holy shit Batman!!! It’s true! Two official shows after 15 years!!! One in Chicago and one in New York. Instantly I started looking for plane tickets (no joke). Then a friend who’s always “ in the know” let me know that “a little birdy” said they were doing west coast shows. I was glued to Polyvinyl and American Football’s Facebook pages until they released those dates. When they did I marked my calen-dars and set alarms on all my devices and tickets where bought.

In between buying these tickets and the show, I saw the band Mineral’s re-union. I was a bit troubled after the show cause honestly... Mineral didn’t really do it

for me. It was good don’t get me wrong, but it wasn’t the Mineral I expected to see. I expected it to be like the Far reunion which consisted of old friends, screaming lyrics like we were a 12 year old girl at a One Direction concert. Anyway, Miner-al brought the emo. We all got mellow, sang along to some old songs, and went home. I built Mineral up in my head as if they were god’s personal gift to music. It was my fault for building them up so much. I guess I was also a little bummed on their management (oh yeah Amanda I’m talking about you). I wanted to give them the cover of the magazine, pay them, and basically work around their schedule to make it happen. And because we are a new magazine she treated us like we were a piece of crap. They were here for 4 days. I told her I’d drive wherever. Do whatever it took. Anyway, some people are just too cool. Haha. (I totally didn’t mean to have that portion in here but I like it!).

I wanted to ask American Foot-ball to be a part of the magazine but I chickened out and it was too late. I figured if Mineral was too cool for us then surely American Football will be cause they’re a step above (You heard it here first! Pastorale starting an emo war. American Football vs. Mineral. Haha just kidding). Anyway, I kinda wanted to keep American Football to myself cause this was a special show to me. So I didn’t do anything regarding trying to get an interview, shoot them, etc. Then Jackie our Managing Editor said, “oh yeah I got you a press pass for the American Football show cause the Dodo’s are opening” which happen to be our Jan cover!!!! What an awesome small world! So usually how it works at shows is like this (bigger shows). You’ ll hear the term “First three-No Flash” which means I get to go to the very front pit and shoot each band (for the night) for the first 3 songs but I can’t use flash. Man how freaking cool was that, that the band I waited 15 years to see I was able to not only shoot but be right at the stage without hundreds of people pushing into me.

Long story short the show was great. They played all the songs I wanted to hear. I’m bad with song titles but you know which ones... “The trumpet one”, the one about “X-Men”, it blew Mineral’s show out of the water (No offense Mineral. Yes offense Amanda.) They played so well, yes not flawlessly, but well enough. Lyrics were on point. It was like they were touring right after they finished their full length in 99’. Seriously so amazing. I was surprised to see how many younger peo-ple were at the show too! There were kids in their early 20s at the show who were just as excited. That means the band they were basically raised on was playing a re-union show. It was awesome! Mike was humble and kinda goofy. The crowd yelled random things at them in between songs like “Took you guys long enough”, and stuff like that. Mike and the whole band laughed. It was cool to see them perform cause they looked just as surprised at the turnout as we were surprised they were playing. Mike said into the mic... “I’m not going to say anything cause you guys are funnier than I am”, it was an awesome vibe. Just a little banter between songs. When the drummer stood up to play trumpet (you know for that one trumpet song) the crowd went nuts, and by this time my camera was away in my bag and I’m back in the crowd with the rest of the fans. You could see the smiles on their faces how shocking it was the positive response they received.

So guys in American Football if you ever read this or not. You did right by us at least giving us this tour. You guys rule. I’ ll always like Mineral as a band but if you ever fight them I’ve got your back.

Check out their stuff at www.polyvinylrecords.com

(All jokes and comments about the band Mineral were just for fun. I, in fact, am a huge fan of the band and so glad they did a reunion tour as well. Their man-agement Amanda can sit on an egg.)




Happy 2015!! Have you made a New Year’s resolution yet? Even if you don’t believe in resolutions, now is the perfect time to change how you listen to music. Next time you hear something you haven’t heard before, just LISTEN without finding out who it is. Don’t concern yourself with categorizing what you’re hearing as ‘country’ or ‘metal’ or ‘alternative’ or whatever. Focus on LIS-TENING then ask yourself one simple question: “Do I like this, or not?” When you discover something you do like, it’s interesting to note the elements that really crystalize that for you. Chances are, many of the same elements you’re fond of can be found in many different songs regardless of genre.

Honestly, the industry term ‘genre’ supports pigeonholing and close-mind-edness. Certainly, those classifications seemed more relevant when all of us were wandering around, thumbing through albums, CDs and tapes in actual record stores. Back then it was necessary to label sections so we’d all know where to find AC/DC’s ‘Back in Black.’ Making a beeline for our favor-ite section felt like Christmas morning every single time. And to stumble across an album we didn’t even know one of our favorite bands put out…[screams]…was indescribable! Thanks to technology, that experience is nearly extinct. Today there are search engines built into every corner of the Internet and most of the time all your dreams can be answered just by typ-ing the first five letters of that which you seek.

Music has also shifted and evolved in ways that blur the bound-aries between different genres. Think back to 1986 when Aerosmith joined forces with Run-D.M.C. to create ‘Walk This Way.’ You could walk into a record store and find it in the RAP section and in the ROCK section. Although the collaboration was tech-nically rap and rock, everyone rec-ognized it stylistically as something completely new. I didn’t know where the heck to find that delicious, must-have single when I walked into Sam Goody. These days you just click on the iTunes store and type ‘a-e-r-o’ or ‘w-a-l-k [space] t’ and there it is at your fingertips ready to leap into your phone. Yikes! Was that rock? Was that rap? Was that the dreaded rap-rock? Who knows!! My point is, even back then we actually liked the music for what it was, not for how it was la-beled, which makes me wonder why music was labeled in the first place and why we continue to do so.

Sure I like my stuff organized, but sometimes it seems all that categorization is unnecessary. For example, what if someone asked me what I was hungry for and I knew I was craving pizza? I could answer, “Italian food.” Or I could simply say, “Pizza!” Technically, pizza is an Italian dish in the same way AC/DC is a rock band. If I really wanted to hear some AC/DC, why would I say I was feeling like some rock music? Granted, different foods have different ingredients, which make it very similar to different types of music. But today, there’s more cross-over than ever which really has an impact on being able to fit things into a neat little box. Rice is a staple in much of Asian cuisine but you’ll also taste it in your burrito from Chipotle and in your chimichanga at El Torito. The violin is a traditional instrument in both classical and country music, though you’ll hear plenty of it in songs by the Dave Matthews Band or right there driving the last minute of ‘Baba O’Riley’ by the Who. Are the Who strictly a rock band? Not with a monster violin solo in one of their biggest hit singles, they’re not! What musical genre is the Dave Matthews

Band? I don’t know and I don’t care. I like ‘Baba O’Riley’ by the Who. I like the Dave Matthews Band. I like burritos and chimichangas with rice. I like what I like and I don’t waste my time trying to categorize, explain or classify why.

Music is an art form which behaves like an organism. It grows, spreads, re-produces, adapts and evolves. That is a beautiful thing, but it has forced market-ing folks to come up with the stupidest, most ridiculous list of music genres and sub-genres. Need proof? No problem. Seriously, if you can specifically explain to me the musical differentiation between handbag house, cosmic disco and laptronica without using the Internet in anyway, I’ll buy you lunch.

Ok, now let’s take it one step further. How on Earth can someone claim to be a huge fan of the electronica subgenre – get this – moombahcore? What does that even mean? Believe it or not, that’s an actual musical style that gained popularity in Washington, D.C. around 2009. It’s also the most meaningless description of music I’ve ever heard. Why not just Google Knife Party, listen to their music and determine if you dig it or not? I did. I listened. I dug it. I bought it and I think it’s fucking idiotic to call them moombahcore. Someone actually took the time to coin that term to de-scribe a specific stylistic adaptation of electronic music. To me, it seems like a more fitting name for a Star Wars character, a roller coaster, or at least an obscure punch line.

I just don’t understand why we need genres anymore. Maybe it’s be-cause I’ve played in bands for years and classifying the musical styles of each has never been easy for me. Through the years, people have asked my least favorite question countless times: “What kind of music is your band?” Could I simply answer ‘rock’? Sure, I suppose. But there’s a gigantic difference between rock bands Nick-elback and Linkin Park, so that answer wouldn’t be very helpful. Further-more, I’ve never been in a band that sounded much like either of those bands which would only make things more confusing. After being contin-ually pelted by the decidedly reason-able inquiry, I found that it was much easier to give a ‘sounds-like’ compari-son than trying to fit everything into a neat little box or under a bold head-ing. So, I began describing our sound using three or four bands other people (including fans) used to describe us. After analyzing my answer, I quickly realized NONE of those bands would

be classified the same way, much less said in the same sentence. There was no way for me to offer a genre-specific answer when the bands other people used to describe us didn’t fit into one genre themselves.

At the end of the day it seems there are really only two types of music: the music you LIKE, and the music you DON’T LIKE. If you really like Anthrax and James Taylor, does it really matter that one is a thrash metal band and the other is a folk rock artist? It doesn’t. It can’t. If you like it, you like it. If you don’t, you don’t. But think about it and ask around. If I’m wrong, I am willing to accept that fact as long as someone can explain what makes genre so important. While having this discussion and formulating your response, be sure to listen to a mix-ture of music you truly enjoy. If you do that, I believe it will be easy to see genre evaporate right before your eyes…and ears. Abracadabra! Alacazaam! Poof!

“Music is an art form which behaves like an

organism. It grows, spreads, reproduces, adapts and evolves. That is a beautiful

thing, but it has forced marketing folks tocome up with the

stupidest, most ridiculous list of music

genres andsub-genres.”


It may surprise you to be reading about The Dodos for the first time right now after I tell you that they are about to release their sixth (yes sixth) album, have been playing together for almost a decade, have already toured the world, and have played with names that I won’t name because for one it will be fun to look into it yourself, and two, this gal feels it’s time for The Dodos to receive a dose of good old fashioned credit of their own. The thing is, they will probably be the first ones to have a hard time taking that compliment because that’s just the type of guys they are. If I spared you the detail of how polite and humble they are I fear you may miss the point. The Dodos, consisting of Meric Long (vocals and guitar) and Logan Kroeber (drums) were such an awesome experi-ence for our Editor in Chief Paul Rivera and myself. Cover stories can be stress-ful things, and as our readers you know we sometimes run into snags and bumpy roads that can make putting together a cover story a no-fun experience rather quickly. Meric and Logan couldn’t have made this any easier and frankly, that was a refreshing thing to experience. I needed it. It reminded me of how much I love being a fan of artists who simply create and share their music because it’s what they love to do, and “the buzz” (read more below about the dreaded “buzz” hahaha) which can sometimes be a deal breaker for us here at Pastorale Magazine, can sometimes give credit where it’s due, and in this case I am happy to say that whether this is your first time hearing of The Dodos, or you are a fan like I am, we are more than thrilled to have them as our January 2015 cover.

I sat down with the two members of The Dodos and we discussed record-ing, touring, and their upcoming full- length ‘Individ’. We started off with dis-cussing musicianship and their signature sound.

Pastorale Magazine: Both of you have unique ways of approaching your instruments, so I’d like to start with talking a little bit about that. You (Meric) choose the finger picking style of playing guitar which essentially means you don’t use a pick. Did you learn to play guitar that way, or was that a preference that you manifested after getting your own personal style together?

Meric Long: I didn’t know that style, I played guitar in bands and as a teenager and then for years after that. Then, I saw somebody playing the finger style, acoustic, steel string. That blew my mind and I was like, “I want to do that.” I tried to teach myself how to play in that style and then that’s how it arrived at this band, this incarnation of it.

Pastorale Magazine: For you (Logan), your drum kit itself is a little bit different than the usual drum kit, it doesn’t have a bass drum.

Logan Kroeber: It does now.

Pastorale Magazine: It does!? Nice. So even with that change, your style of playing still has a tendency to be a little bit different than the usual, can you explain a little bit about the origin of that, and how you have a tendency play on the edge or ledge of the drums? I call it playing on the lip…. It’s a different style of playing that’s kind of unique.

Logan: It started because of when playing with Meric in the very beginning, he didn’t need a lot of regular rock drum kit playing on his songs. It was a much more minimal affair. After we played a few shows and built it up to a couple of drums, it grew to include what it needed most for whatever songs we were working on. Now it has a little bit of everything, it has a kick drum, it has a high hat, and it has some of the other, weirder stuff that we’ve had in the past. I don’t know, it’s weird. For some songs I play it like a drum kit and then some of the new stuff that we do, it’s sort of back to more minimal based rhythms. Sometimes it feels really weird to have all this stuff on stage and for a few songs I’ ll just be playing a few things and not be playing any high hat or kick drum and I’ve had people come up to me at shows and really trip out on that. “You didn’t touch the kick drum for three songs.” Yeah, I know, but what am I supposed to do? I need it for these other songs!

Pastorale Magazine: The two unique styles you both have work really well together because it allows for almost a lack of distraction. For what content you have, which is pretty strong content sometimes, especially lyrically. I find it works really well, and I always was curious as to whether or not it was something that you came together with, or if it was brought out in the two of you later. It’s definitely complimentary. Is that lack of distraction intentional?

Meric: It’s not intentional in terms of allowing for the content to shine through, it’s more intentional ... well, for several reasons. I think putting limitations on the set up, just putting limitations in general, is a really good way to inspire something. Plus personally speaking, I need limitations because I get overwhelmed with a lot- with too many options. Especially with the drums, starting with one drum and then adding each drum slowly, it’s very much like ... we’re not going to add something until it’s really necessary, or it fits-in because that way you feel like you’re not just immediately going into too many options and then you don’t know what to do with those.

Pastorale Magazine: You’re kind of weeding out the fluff?

Meric: Yeah, it’s like the fluff is building from just a small granule. You see every process of it becoming a fluff, instead of just getting a fluff and being like, “I don’t know what to do with this.” Practically speaking and just in terms of what my brain can handle, that’s one reason, but then also sonically, I think we recorded the first record with John Askew in Portland. He was really stoked on ... and then we were really new to this so we didn’t really know what we were doing, but John made a lot of comments about sonically, what it does, having so few elements, especially cymbals which I’m glad you picked up on.

Logan: I always think about that too.

Meric: Yeah, as a recording engineer, he hates cymbals. When we recorded that record, he kept being like, “Oh man, this is awesome, there’s no cymbals, it sounds great.” Especially when you’re playing cymbals in the mix, it just immediately covers everything. John had a huge part in that. Like I said, when we recorded the first two records we were like, “I don’t know. Just make it sound good.” I think him being a person of experience and having worked on other records, he really highlighted the things that ….

Logan: He helped shape the band and shape the sound, for sure. He needs to get a lot of credit for that.

Pastorale Magazine: A little bit about acclaim. Each album that has come out has consistently had, for those who pay attention to this kind of stuff, an amount of acclaim. Some albums were recorded close together in time, like your fifth album, ‘Carrier’ and then your upcoming album ‘Individ’ set to be released in January 2015, and then some past albums were further apart in time. Some were recorded in different locations completely, right? Pacific Northwest and then Northern California?

Meric: Yeah.

Pastorale Magazine: To continue, each work has had this “buzz”. Does that buzz get to you? When moving into a process for a new album, and now that you guys have a lot of experience under toe… does that buzz get to you? Because every single album seems to have had an inertia behind it as far as critical acclaim goes. Then you go back in, make another album, there’s a lot of critical acclaim to it again! Do you ignore the buzz? Do you care about the buzz?

Meric: I like ... that you see it that way. That’s not how we see it.

Pastorale Magazine: Tell me how you guys see it.continued on page 29


Meric: I realize that our perspective is probably somewhat skewed from how it really is, but in terms of ... It doesn’t feel that way, it feels like we’ve had-with each record there’s been some good and some bad. ‘Visitor’ in 2008 was our breakthrough record, we went from not having a record label, to having a record label and then touring in Europe and Australia and all these awesome things came our way, so that was definitely like, okay, that was a big thing for us. After that, each record has sort of been ... I don’t know, how would you describe it (asking Logan)?

Logan: It’s been a constant throughout that I personally have either denied its existence (the buzz) or tackled it head on, or it has then mutated as albums have gone on, like the type of buzz for lack of a better word that I have to think about going - like doing ‘Time to Die’ after ‘Visitor’, after the breakout record. At the time, it was just, “I don’t care about that, we’re just going to make this record,” where I know now deep down inside, it was like I was suppressing so much nervous energy about it, but I remember doing interviews at the time where I was just like, “No, we didn’t think about it at all.”

Pastorale Magazine: Right, no pressure! Hahaha. It’s JUST a follow up to a breakthrough album right?

Logan: The next one, it was just like, “Oh, now that we’ve gotten that out of the way,” we had a breakthrough, and now now we’re going to make another one, it’s like we don’t have to worry about it at all. Which I know was more denial. Then we had a whole bunch of crazy stuff happen in our lives and we put out ‘Carrier’ and on one side, it’s like there’s less expectation for this, but on the other, from a personal perspective, we want to continue to succeed with the music we put out. Are people going to accept it the same way that they have? We’re about to put out our sixth record and I still feel like I’m battling that same demon. It shows up in different forms. I’m very excited about coming out with this new record, but the next record I could look back on this one and see that I was lying to myself again.

Pastorale Magazine: And why not take it one step at a time?

Meric: Instead of trying to accurately show on a graph the trajectory of our career through each record, I think to answer your question, does the buzz or whatever get to you, it doesn’t ... it’s there, it’s definitely there. It’s like Logan said, I have had the exact same relationship to it, on those records that he said, I was definitely suppressing it. Maybe back then it was getting to me more, but there’s always a thing there, whether it’s buzz or whether it’s pressure and just in terms of embracing it now, I really like the fact that there’s this thing there. It’s something that you probably want to deny when you’re an artist, but once you embrace it, it’s part of our relationship to our fans, to the world, in relation to past records and all that, that’s a weird living organism that is part of our band.

Logan: That is why I was just cracking up. I was literally picturing “the buzz” factor as a dog. We’re living our life and the dog is outside and it wants to come in and we’re just like, “No, stay outside.” Or it’s like all of a sudden we’re playing with the dog, it’s fun, but it’s always running around, nipping at your heels….. or trying to.

Meric: One way of dealing with that was the reason why we recorded these records so quickly.

Pastorale Magazine: Really? Expand on that a little bit.

Meric: I just wanted to know what it was like to fucking make a record without the dog anywhere nearby. This isn’t a defensive thing, not because it was driving me nuts, but you can’t ... the dog is always there, so you have to actually force a vacuum, which in this case was having finished a record, having it not even out yet and then working on another record within that little timespace, which is the vacuum. You’re always responding to what the last record did, how you feel about it as well as how other people feel about it. If the record is not even out, you don’t even know. You’re just working on something that’s coming out in what feels like 20 years from now.

Logan: You know when you’re throwing the tennis ball with the dog and you fake it out? Meric faked out the dog and it ran to ‘Carrier’. Little did the dog know that we could record ‘Individ’ while it was dealing with that record.

Meric: We faked out the dog and while the dog was away, we played Butts Up

(group laughter).

Pastorale Magazine: So it gave you a time of psychological peace, in order to move into this record?

Meric: Yeah.

Pastorale Magazine: It’s nice then to have a time period where everybody’s still talking over here about this album, and you’re over here pouring your energy into a new project already…

Meric: Yeah, for sure. It does suck to be working, unless you’re good at that sort of thing, unless you feed off that and that’s like your whatever, your artistic endeavor is to feed off of that dialogue, or that conversation. I know myself at least and I’m guessing for Logan that we are not those kind of artists. We are musicians and we just want to play music and the dog is just something that we’ve gotten used to.

Pastorale Magazine: Let’s talk about touring. Do you enjoy touring?

Logan: Love touring. Too much is bad. Like anything, too much of it can be bad.

Pastorale Magazine: You have had a wide range of artists that come in over five albums to tour with you. Share a bit about these people and tell our readers about what may be in store for touring in support for the upcoming ‘Individ’.

Meric: Talking about people in the past and giving them credit, I mean they all ... we did not plan it at all this way, but for every single record cycle, we’ve had a different

tour member. I don’t even think I realized that until the last year, and yeah it wasn’t intentional. It was just for one reason or another, there’s a lot of options as to what another person can bring to what we’re already doing, so I feel like it changes. The first guy, Joe (Joe Haener), who toured with us when we did ‘Visitor’, he had such a good stage presence and brought so much energy to the whole thing. He was barely playing an instrument. He was playing a vibraphone that you could probably never even hear, and he was playing a toy piano, but he would just bang the shit out of all of it and it got the message across of the sort of agro side of the band. God, I’ ll just go through them because now you’ve got me thinking about it. When we did ‘Time to Die’, we got really excited about the idea of expanding on the vibraphone because it seemed like the perfect instrument for this band because it’s both percussive and it has harmony and melody to it. It’s literally the physical representation of this band. It’s something you hit and it makes a tone. We got all excited about that, but we needed to find someone who could play it, so then we got Keaton (Keaton Snyder). Then we got rid of the vibraphone, and we got all super excited about electric guitar.

Pastorale Magazine: Everybody was sad over the vibraphone loss.

Logan: Some people were.

Meric: I don’t know. We were sad, but not at the time. Then we just got all into electric guitar, and I put in bunch of overdubs, and we needed to find somebody to do that part, and then he passed away (referring to guitarist Christopher Reimer).We would have continued to make music with him, but he passed away so then we did this other record and it was the same sort of thing when we got Joe. For this next record, we don’t know. We don’t know, I don’t want to say anything yet.

Pastorale Magazine: I respect that. How much do these artists coming in during these touring times, effect what you go back and record?

Meric: Probably the biggest influence of somebody coming into this band was definitely with Chris, who toured with us for ‘No Color’, and then we did ‘Carrier’. I can’t stress enough, as a musician and as a person, he was the first person that we played with that really inspired us, me as a guitarist, I want to rip that guy off. That was a big one. After that, this last record was ... well, Joe (guitarist Joe Haege), we’re not - yeah, Joe wasn’t even ... The next record will be the reaction to Joe, who we’ve been touring with.

Pastorale Magazine: So the next record is ‘Individ’, I’ll go ahead and ask the cheesy question. Is there a meaning behind the name?

“I would definitely prefer them to come to a show first. I feel like that’s the best version rather than

hearing it on the Vampire Diaries”

-Meric



Meric: There is a meaning, I don’t know what the word actually means, I think if you look it up, it says indivisible, but that wasn’t the intention with the word, it was more just the phonetics of the word, and it was basically a way to describe this idea of resilience which is a very strong theme of the record and I kept going back to it in terms of song writing and just ideas. That was the prevailing theme of the record, just trying to think of a word that could convey that to me. Individ… it just sounded like that.

Pastorale Magazine: Where did you record it and who with?

Meric: Going back to one thing you said earlier which I think is funny, you said that some of our records are recorded closer together than others. We recorded it at Tiny Telephone in San Francisco, with the same people at the same studio as who we did ‘Carrier’ with, our previous record. Our first record ‘Beware of the Maniacs’ was recorded very close to ‘Visitor’, and ‘Carrier’ was recorded very close to this new one ‘Individ’. I really see a link, those two couples of records are very closely linked in terms of their relationship to each other. Both ‘Beware of the Maniacs’ and ‘Carrier’ were us going to a new studio, working with a new person, learning how to work together. By the end of that record, being like, “Oh okay, this sounds cool, let’s go back and do another.” Being excited about all that work that we put into making that record, it’s the same sort of thing. ‘Visitor’ to ‘Beware’ is ‘Individ’ to ‘Carrier’. When we finished ‘Carrier’ it was like we had such a good time in the same way that we had a good time with the first time. I literally just wanted to continue what we were doing, we just didn’t have songs to do it.

Pastorale Magazine: That’s where you spent the time in between, was coming up with more material?

Meric: Yeah, there wasn’t even that much time though. It was really just song ideas. Some stuff I had mapped out, but we rehearsed it very little ... a lot of it happened in the studio.

Pastorale Magazine: Do you enjoy recording more or playing live in support of the albums?

Logan: Right now?

Pastorale Magazine: Yes!

Logan: Right now I better start enjoying playing out more. We got the tour booked.

Pastorale Magazine: You sure do!

Logan: I would love to go back in the studio. We were just in there. As a favor, Meric was singing for another artist at Tiny Telephone and we were in there with all the people that we saw when we’re recording there and it was sad to leave. It’s like, “Aww, we should just hang out here and make music all day. Like we have done many times before.”

Pastorale Magazine: Other than our magazine of course, where do you guys want people to find out about your music?

Logan: You mean ideally?

Pastorale Magazine: Yes. What is best for you guys? You want them to go to your website? Do you want them to go to a show and buy it?

Logan: There’s a romantic ideal and there’s a real ideal, which I think would probably be they would come to the show and buy the record.

Meric: Which one? The romantic or the …

Logan: That’s the more realistic. The romantic would be that your friend would make you a copy and you would go on a road trip or something like that. The realness is winning out. Come to the show and get the record.

Meric: Yeah, I would definitely prefer them to come to a show first. I feel like that’s the best version rather than hearing it on the Vampire Diaries (group laughter).

The Dodos album ‘Individ’ is set to release January 27th 2015. Visit their website http://www.dodosmusic.net/ for info on where, when, and how to snag up ‘Individ’ as well as their other five albums that you need to get your hands on! Tour dates have been set so look em’ up and snag a ticket, and experience some Dodos live because really, you shouldn’t miss it. I personally got to hear a version of Chris Isaak’s “Wicked Game” at their show at Alex’s Bar in Long Beach that was worth the ticket alone.

On another note, I would like to give a personal nod to Brendan Bourke from Canvas Media who truly made this story stress free for me, and who should be in charge of workshops to educate others in his field. Thank you!



This month is the start but also just a taste of what we’ll be doing with music reviews. We want a handful of judges so you get a variety of people’s reviews so it’s not just one grumpy music snob. We also wanted to do something different, fun, that wouldn’t take up too much of your time (and the reviewer’s time) to read. So the task at hand for the reviewer is to give a 5-words-or-less description of the record they just listened to. It could be mean, could be funny, and could be anything they want. Just honest, quick and to the point. So this month we’re only starting with three records provided by local artists. As we grow we’ll get into bigger releases but we thought of just starting simple. Enjoy this. We’re happy with this start and can’t wait to develop it more into something that’ll be exciting for all involved.

Formed in 2010 by Bryce Schlange, Austin Full-mer, and Wyatt Fullmer. Randsburg makes warm, engaging music with often self-deprecating lyrics and a story on top. Joined by keys player James Ransom, Randsburg has been building a following and reputation by putting on fun shows that draw fun people.

Big Monsta is a blues/rock trio from Hunting-ton Beach, California. With drummer Mike Willson and bassist Adrian Sanchez, they’ve been nominated for “Best New Artist” at the 2014 OC Music Awards.

Formerly of The Meanest Boys, and hailing from Long Beach, CA. William Alexander describes his music as “bedroom pop”.

Randsburg - A note to my folks Big Monsta - Crooked Vol. 1 William Alexander - Girls’ Basketball

YOLI RAMAZZINA ROCKIN’,

TOE-TAPPIN’, MELODIOUS,

CRESCENDOS, MELLOW.

RAY HARKINSRELAXED.NOT BAD,

NOT INCREDIBLE.

SAM FLOYDWARM

HEARTFELTREFLECTIVEPOIGNANTSTIRRING.

PARKER MACYOKAY.

WHATEVER.REALLY?I GUESS.

MICHAEL JAME S KENDRICKNAMED AFTER “LIVING” GHOST TOWN.

BILL BENNETTMATURE,

HARMONIES,DRAMATIC, SONGS.

YOLI RAMAZZINA CHILLAXING,

GUITAR-DRIVEN,HEAD-BOBBIN’,

AGGRESSIVE,BLUESY.

RAY HARKINSHIGH ENERGY.

SKATE VIDEO MUSIC.

SAM FLOYDSCATTERED

BLUESYGOOD LICKSPROMISING.

PARKER MACYI RELEASED IT.

LOVE IT.

MICHAEL JAME S KENDRICKGETTING MORE RIGHT THAN WRONG.

BILL BENNETTTIGHT,

CONCISE,ALIVE,

KICKASS.

YOLI RAMAZZINA GROOVY,

FLOWY,ETHEREAL,

MUSHROOMS,AWESOME.

RAY HARKINSDREAM-Y,

GARAGE-Y, LOW-FI POP.

SOLID.

SAM FLOYD PSYCHEDELICDRONE ROCK

MELLOWINNOCUOUS.

PARKER MACYVERY MEDIOCRE

BACKGROUND NOISE.

MICHAEL JAME S KENDRICKSPOOKY HIPSTER RIVER BAPTISM NOSTALGIA.

BILL BENNETTDELIBERATE,

THOUGHTFUL,SOMBER,

CRAFTED.


YOLI RAMAZZINA - Yoli is a music lover and a retired KXLU deejay. She is also a certified yoga instructor and a columnist for elephantjournal.com. In her free time she enjoys practicing yoga, reading, writing, gardening, listening to music, drinking good beer (especially sour ales), and most of all spending time with her family and their two rescued pups.

RAY HARKINS - Ray Harkins lives for music. He has worked with record labels like Century Media Records, No Sleep Records & 6131 Records. He currently works with peta2, heading up their partnership department as well as the host of 100 Words Or Less: The Podcast. He previously sang for the hardcore bands Taken & Mikoto as well as ran a successful independent music festival called Sound and Fury in Santa Barbara, CA. His music reviews have also been nationally published in Alternative Press and Outburn.

SAM FLOYD - LATE thirties from Orange County CA. I cut my teeth on Depeche Mode, The Cure, Duran Duran, Oingo Boingo, INXS, U2, and the like. Still enjoy my 80’s New Wave flashbacks. These days, Indie rock and Alternative rock is what makes my ears happy. Current “must haves” are Nine Inch Nails, The Black Keys, Black Rebel Motorcycle Club, Delta Spirit, J Rod-dy Walston & The Business.

PARKER MACY - I am Parker Macy. I own Creme Tangerine Records, an independent record shop & label in Costa Mesa. I’m going to be honest here so please don’t get upset with me if I don’t like your music. You probably wouldn’t like mine either.

MICHAEL JAMES KENDRICK - Born Scottish. Raised on Dad’s Merle Haggard, Mum’s Beatles and sister’s Iron Maiden mixed with the Chart Show and Top of The Pops. I run a small too cool for you record label in Long Beach. Design graphics for entertainment industry during the day. Co-host an internet radio program entitled Universal Export. Been a fan of music and vinyl record collector for 20+ years.

BILL BENNETT - By day I am President of Sweet Relief Musicians Fund, a non-profit that assists career musicians who are struggling due to illness or disability. By night I run Secret Chief Culture which throws the occasional show in Orange County. Bottom line is that I am obsessive about music and have been that way since I can remember.

REVIEWER BIOS


beauty

New Year, New do!Put this on your New Years Resolution! Try 3 new dos in just 3 steps!

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THE MODERN CHIGNON:1) Take an inch section on each side of your hair and twist the two sections

into one low ponytail.2.) Create a hole above your elastic band and pull your ponytail through it

from the outside going in leaving you with an inside out ponytail.3.) Now roll up what’s left of your ponytail and tuck it inside your chignon

securing it with some bobby pins! (Add a headband or a cute clip to spice this look up!)

THE MESSY UP-DO:1.) Section your hair into 3 braided ponytails.2.) Loosen up your braids by pulling it apart to expand and thicken the

braid for a fuller messier look.3.)Wrap each braid up and secure it with bobby pins as you go. (Criss cross

them, wrap it up in an oval shape, be creative!)

THE BRAIDED PONY:

1.) Take a 2 inch section of hair on the side that you want your braid on and braid it all the way down securing it with an elastic tie.

2.) Pull the rest of your hair either to the center of your head or to the side, depending on your preference and create a ponytail.

3.) Take the braided section and wrap it around your ponytail securing with bobby pins. (Curl your hair prior for a messier ponytail look!)

EXTRA TIPS!-Prep your hair with a styling product that will help hold and give your hair body. Any type of mousse usually works best.

-Dirty hair will behave better than clean hair. Don’t ever wash your hair right before attempting an updo style.

-Tease the crown area for some extra lift. Volume can turn a normal hairstyle into a fabulous one. A little teasing never hurt nobody.

-Bobby pins are your best friend.

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I am a natural blonde, the shade that you’ll often hear described as “dirty”, “mousey”, or “dishwater” blonde. In middle school, I was one of the many girls who were discovering their magnetic attraction toward the strange and unusual. Those unexplored dirt roads of our soul and spirit that, partnered with life experiences, were going to mold us into our future selves. At twelve years old, I was given permission to color my hair with Kool- Aid. It was so liberating to try something new, and it motivated me to step outside the fashion box. At 15 years old I was able to dye my hair for the first time and I never stopped. As a teenager, we want to express ourselves any way we can. It has nothing to do with age or trying to appear younger. How ironic that the young color their hair to appear more mature, as the adults color theirs to appear younger.

Something happens when you become an adult. You look in the mirror one day and there it is: grey hair. Instant melancholia sets in. You are not young. You are old. Must Dye Hair! But why? Why does that emotion show its ugly head without consulting with us first? Growing old overnight wasn’t on my calendar this week. If there’s just one or two, no sweat. Maybe we’ll just pluck those suckers out. What if there’s more than a few? You got it. It’s time to call your hair-stylist.

The fact that most of the women I know have experienced this, myself included, makes me want to punch stuff. How are we supposed to be the best version of ourselves when we are so worried about looking old? As a professional hair stylist I am extremely conflicted by this. Beauty, style and fashion have been my true loves since I was a tween and as I grow wiser in my mid-thir-ties, my perspectives on those topics are evolving and changing. It’s not a new thing, hiding age cosmetically. The Egyptians were applying henna to hide their grey and using hair extensions in 3000 B.C., which means we are simply products of our history. I love the beauty industry and I am thankful for the color it brings the world. The purpose is not to change, but to empower the woman (or man) that primarily covers grey to protect herself from the judgment of others.

I have been contemplating “going natural” for the last five years and could never get past

two inches of regrowth. It’s not the prettiest process, and some simply don’t have the option due to a work or school dress code. The “whys” varied between seeking a creative outlet, maintaining a professional appearance while looking for work, and what other people would think of my grey hair. My conclusion is this: It doesn’t matter what other people think! Do what makes you happy! We are so fortunate to be living in a time where society has begun to embrace individuality, take advantage and step outside your comfort zone a little. If you have ever considered chopping off those tinted locks to expose the raw, naturally beautiful you, I welcome you to join me in my Go Virgin journey. As Michael Jackson once sang, “You are not alone”.

“How are wesupposed to be

the bestversion of

ourselves when we are so

worried aboutlooking old?”


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Vest: Calvin KleinShirt: Feathers

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Shoes: John Galliano

JANUARY2015 | PASTORALE | 71



The first day of January tends to be the starting point, or in other words ending point, for countless people. Every year the holiday fren-zy knocks people off their regular day-to-day schedule. Which in turn, leads most of us to choose the first day of January to be the best time to start fresh. Procrastination ends and newfound resolutions come about, urging change and transformations for the better. It is said that the num-ber one New Year’s resolution is to lose weight or stay fit and healthy. We’re here to share with those of you who have this same resolution in mind, that there are ways to make a statement while crushing your 2015 goals.

More recently than ever, the fitness craze has become a fight-ing force in the fashion world. Fabulous news, fashion mavens, sporty elements are being in-corporated into street-style looks. Yes, fitness meshed with fashion and personally loving every second of it. Yoga pants became the new jeans, backless tees that show off those funky sports bras are a must have, and choosing between sneakers or designer pumps has naturally become a tough task. The way fitness attire has transformed into every-day wear is actually quite genius. Fitness-chic conveys a message that you live a healthy lifestyle but can still look trendy while doing it. Those metallic leather tights you wore to 7 PM yoga are way too voguish to be left at the studio. Throw on a tunic, a pair of heels, and you’re ready for a night on the town!

If there’s anything that fashionistas are eager to get their hands on, besides their favorite designers, it’s those new workout classes and the outfits that come with them. Whether it is the yoga class, boot camp

session, or the new popular barre workout, they’re not just throwing on any old duds (so long grungy sweatpants!). While Lululemon introduces their “&go Here to There line”, Tory Burch launches her upscale acces-sory collection with Fitbit Flex for a new refreshing flair to the fitness phenomena. Fitness has become the IT look on the runway and there are no signs of stopping anytime soon. Sequined sports jerseys and ca-sual baseball tees make those trips to the gym a bit more enjoyable.

High-end designers are creating pieces that look just like casual wear which are extremely ver-satile. Tops with amaz-ing mesh cutouts, pants with two-toned duel fabric, that even the gal who chooses not to work out loves the multiple functionality. Slouchy scoop-back tunics and those sleek performance jackets double as street chic when leaving spin class. Sure, running shoes are intended to get you through your

workout, but the bold patterns and color combinations team up as fash-ion-forward kicks too! Such an exciting thing when that dance class top looks even better under a killer leather jacket.

“Look good, feel good,” they say, and fashion-forward workout gear helps give us that extra push to keep those self-improving promises to ourselves. It is proven that when you feel confident in your workout gear, you work out harder. To top it off, no time is wasted when transitioning between work and play. That being said, those New Year’s resolutions ‘ain’t got nothing on you this year.

PHOTOGRAPHER - GABRIEL ERVIN • MODEL - SUZY POINTS


CAPRICORN (December 22 – January 19)LADIES: Nothing is ever good enough for Princess Capricorn now is it?

Your friends threw you a surprise early party and your drunk ass decided to complain about the size of the fire for 45 minutes. Claiming that it was too big and that Eddie Murphy’s dad would agree... WHAT? Go to bed Capri, you’re drunk!

GUYS: How did walking thru the “BK Lounge” drive thru in your PJ’s during 50 degree weather work out for you last night? Not so great? Really, how come? Was it because BK was closed and you were talking to a giant burger for 50 minutes or was it because you realized about 51 minutes into it that you don’t actually own PJ’s and you sleep naked? Ya...maybe lay off shrooms for a bit huh.

AQUARIUS (January 20 – February 18)LADIES: You finally went out on a Saturday night. Good for you! Other

than eating IHOP at 3am and waking up in Buena Park, how are you feeling about yourself? You are either sober or black out Betty. We gotta get you off that Wine & Whiskey and introduce you to some club soda and counseling...

GUYS: Dude, buddy, my man... did you drunk pack for your NYE to Colorado? All you brought was 2 pairs of whitie tighties, ONE sock, a fleece vest, 3 pairs of board shorts, and your scrapbook album from 6th grade... I mean where do you think you are going, Disneyland Resort with your badminton team? Get it together man...

PISCES (February 19 – March 20)LADIES: Honey, when you overhear your friends saying you seem a little

“spoiled” they don’t mean it in the way you think…spoiled as in what have you been rolling in? Your mouth is saying it’s Chanel No5 but all other signs point to curry, minced meats and bubblegum toothpaste...return that bottle of odor-fume back to the goblin on 2nd street you bought it from and call it a day.

GUYS: Are those ponytails in your armpits or are you smuggling Pomeranians? Oh it’s hair, like YOUR hair? Alright, alright, we appreciate you but you have two choices: Braid it, or begin your ascent to the wild mountains of Mesopotamia where I am sure many others like you have gone to live out their days in abnormally hairy acceptance.

ARIES (March 21 – April 19)LADIES: I don’t want to alarm you but there are tarantulas on your face…

little higher, ya right there. Oooohh, those are your eyelashes? Hmm that’s...an interesting new look. May I make a suggestion...next time you are shopping for mascara steer clear of very large arachnid stores...just a suggestion, put the beasties down Macaulay.

GUYS: I mean it’s almost too obvious right? Oh you have no clue what I’m talking about...that makes sense. Listen, your roommates know that you are the one that leaves the kitchen, living room, and patio looking like Katrina hit. Well not exactly you, the blackout drunk you... I mean you are an entirely different dude. We named you Steve, and you have your own Instagram. It’s fucking hilarious!!

TAURUS (April 20 – May 20)LADIES: Whoever told you that popcorn shrimp is a fast way to shed a

few is not your friend! I know you’re thinking “Hey, shrimp = fish, fish = good, so yum yum in my tum tum” your Regina George for a friend is a liar, but good news we aren’t so kick that bottom feeder to the curb, and also stop eating popcorn shrimp. #yourfriendisadick

GUYS: We are trying really hard not to judge but…that beard…no, just no. I mean, forgive us for the quote but it fits perfect...”Now, you’re telling me you were so ingrained with white trash DNA, your facial hair actually grows in on its own all white trashy like that?” #Joe Dirt

GEMINI (May 21 – June 21)LADIES: OOooo baby I love your ways…everyday yaya...that’s the song

right? What song you ask? Well, it’s the one you sang (in full soprano mode) on your ex, ex, ex, ex... boyfriend’s voicemail. Who “coincidentally” was getting married that next night, and you just so happen to have his new work cell number and a bottle of Jack...good call crazy.

GUYS: Do you ever think of what it would be like to be a girl for a day? Ya, we thought so because you have been acting like one for about 6 months now... Dude, she left you... get over it. She’s not worth it...what the fuck else do we gotta say? There’s only so many girls that your friends can introduce you to that you end up crying on... come on man!

CANCER (June 22 – July 22)LADIES: WHOA!! You dodged a bullet didn’t you... that “hot guy from

the art store” what did he say he was again? A certified love machine...he was certified alright certifiably insane. Lock him up and melt, remold & melt the key again. If his beanie was anymore slanted on HALF his head he would look like Abu from Aladdin...and if he wasn’t aware, he lives in Southern California...so why do his pants always look like he’s ready for a flood...oooo and don’t get me started on those socks!

GUYS: So you’re telling me that you took a girl to a stunning rendition of Wicked at the LA Theater and you got upset that she didn’t smuggle sandwiches in...really? She was already hiding 3 mini bottles of 99 Bananas in her bra, and a half gallon of vodka in the inside of her thigh for you, what more do you want?

LEO (July 23 – August 22)LADIES: Have you ever just turned up your favorite Dean Martin song

and drove down PCH, one arm out the window, with your eyes closed? Shit, not now when you’re the one driving, damn! I meant when someone else is driving. It will help you with all the stress. Fuck, now I need to go on a drive, I swear, you’re going to kill me one of these days.

GUYS: When is the last time you watched Tropic Thunder? Every night since it came out…ya we thought you would say that. Since we can’t face you eye to eye because our retinas are singed because the image of you dancing like Tom Cruise in Topic “Torture” are burned into our corneas…Please stop watching it...Love your friends and family.

VIRGO (August 23 – September 22)LADIES: Are you a fan of history, because you sure as hell are a fan of

repeating it. If the dog bites don’t try to pet it again right? Then why are you messing with that seaweed smellin’, flannel wearing, bar rat that you met in the bathroom at your favorite speak-sleazy on New Year’s? Oh he’s changed? Girl, he barely changes his underwear... don’t even start.

GUYS: You might as well start calling yourself Sega because you have been hedgin’ your hog all over the damn place! The owner of the corner store literally calls you 3, 2, 3 (3 pack of cigars, 2 bottles of wine, and a Trojan 3 pack)...maybe a night (or 12) off would be a good thing. Your roommates are really sick of pretending to like these girls...but they’ve created a rolodex of excuses of where you “went so early” that are so good Seinfeld himself would be impressed…so there’s that.

LIBRA (September 23 – October 22)LADIES: You are so balanced its annoying, seriously! You carry so much

at one time people are starting to wonder if you really came from Seattle or are really that Russian crazed trapeze artist that escaped from the latest AHS season. But keep that shit up lady, if anyone deserves a night off, 3 bottles of Pinot and a bucket of See’s candy it’s you!

GUYS: Congrats on ending your longest relationship! You finally threw away that Enchilada you tried to cook in the new skillet at 3am that you set & most definitely forgot….for 3 months. We would shake your hand but we noticed you didn’t wear gloves…you nasty.

SCORPIO (October 23 – November 21)LADIES: We have got to admit, that boy you have been seeing that

you met on Tinder is one nice slice of beefcake. But did he or did he not “accidentally” end up with a pair of your undies in his shorts pocket? Remember his excuse? “I thought they were my friend’s” WHAT!! Take that wool off from over your eyes and replace it with a huge red flag!! RUN!

GUYS: I think you have been watching too many episodes of Law & Order because when you stumbled into the house at 4am you had a 2 hour negotiation with the toaster oven on whether or not it should like Whole Wheat bread instead of Whole Grain. Seriously, what the heck were you on? … and give me some, k thanks...

SAGITTARIUS (November 22 –December 21)LADIES: Oh hey, I didn’t see you there. You look…different...um did you

get drunk and try to perm your hair again? Well good news is you’re single so you don’t have to worry about the BF trippin’, but the bad news is you’re single…and this is most definitely why...

GUY: When’s the last time you washed your hair? Like actually washed it, ocean water doesn’t count, and dude you stink. You smell like a combination of some sort of rancid fungus and the Situation from Jersey Shore…buy some soap...for real.

BY AYLA HENDERSONTHUG LIFE.


IN THE NEXT ISSUE...

CELEBRITY MUSIC AND FASHION INTERVIEW WITH

MEITAL DOHANMUSIC FEATURE

KISSING COUSINSSUPER SEXY FASHION EDITORIALS

AND (OF COURSE) ALOT MORE.

Documents

Pastorale January 2015