Moot Times - January 2010

8/9/2019 Moot Times - January 2010

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JANUARY 2010 VOL II No. 5

From kindergarten to elementary school to high school toundergraduate degree, and now to law school. We’ve beenin school for a while, yet have you wondered whether youmay need a masters degree to stay competitive? When youapplied for law school, did you explore the possibility ofapplying for a “Combined LLB and MBA Program” or get-ting an MBA sometime down the road?

If the program has caught your eye and may be some-thing you’re interested in, it’s time to revisit the optionagain. Admission to the combined degree program requiresadmission to both the Faculty of Law and the businessschool. The application deadline happens around springtime of each year.

Completion of the program can make you businesssavvy, lets you add three extra letters to the back of yourname and gives more oomph to your resume. Yet, it alsomeans more schooling, fewer paycheques to start, greaterdemands on your time and a need to write the GMAT.With all the hard work involved, it’s natural to think aboutwhether the option is worthwhile for you.!"#$!%&'()&!*"+,("#$%+"-!'".(!(/+%"$0"-"1-)+&#23-)"1)$*)-45"you will probably want to know 1) the average salariesof graduates vis-à-vis costs and 2) the average salaries ofstudents before and after graduation. This will allow youto see the value that a MBA program adds to employmentopportunities and salaries.

Despite the common assumption that the more tu-ition you pay, the more you get from an MBA, the doorsto success may not always require you to go to the mostexpensive or prestigious schools. Here is one of the manyframeworks in which you can evaluate how a program willimpact your future.

67"8$%+%"-!'".(!(/+%Costs would include your invested time, tuition and

$11$)+2!&+9"#$%+%":,&3(".(!(/+%"4-9".("-"3-)*()"!(+:$);"gained, analytical skills, better decision making abilities,understanding of the business world and even enhancedbranding and thus your competitiveness in the job market.

2. Specialized, general, or combined MBABusiness schools today offer specialized MBAs focusing

$!"%1(#&/#"!&#,(%"+,-+"-33$:%"9$2"+$"'(<(3$1"%;&33%")(=2&)('"for different industries or sectors. For example, U of C’s

Haskayne School designed a Global Energy Managementprogram, while Queen’s University offers MBAs for thosewith careers in science and / or technology. Be on the look-out for schools that offer scholarships to those who choosea certain specialization.

3. Reputation of the MBA school

Other than online rankings, you may want to do someinvestigative work by contacting alumni about theirpost-degree success and employers on how their industryperceives degrees from different schools.

Some other factors to would include:4. Curriculum5. Teaching quality6. Cooperative MBA programs7. Distance MBA programs8. Full-time vs part-time MBAs9. Internationalized MBA10. Recruitment possibilities11. Rankings12. International accreditation13. Peer group14. Size of student population15. Competition16. Bilingualism/Linguistic choice

What an MBA has to offer differs depending on yourpersonal background. James Bartlett (2L) who is now work-ing on his MBA-LLB gives his take on what there is to gain.“I get to meet people and establish my network. If youhave an arts background like me, it gives you a whole new

knowledge on the world. If you are thinking about practic-ing corporate law, it makes starting your practice much(-%&()7">$)"(?-413(5"&+"*&<(%"9$2"%$3&'".-#;*)$2!'"$!"/!-!-cial statements, and what stocks and bonds are about.”@3+,$2*,".(!(/+%"$0"-!"AB@"'(1(!'%"$!"9$2)".-#;-

ground and what area of practice you prefer, there seems tobe general consensus from those who have taken an MBAon top of their law degree that an MBA teaches you goodlife knowledge.

If LLB means you are Likely Legally Blessed, anAB@"#$23'"4(-!"A$)("B(!(/+%"@''(' By: Karen Ngan, 2L





President’s MessageBy Wilma Shim

Welcome Back Everyone!I hope you all had a wonderful holiday season. 2010 promises to be an

exciting year for the U of C Law School. The Society of Law Students Executivehas been busy planning incredible events for the month of January so mark yourcalendars!

Jan. 12, 2009 (12-1 p.m., Student Lounge): Scotiabank sponsored lunch and ses-sion with Eugene Ngo, Manager, Professional & Business Banking

Jan. 13, 2009 (12-1 p.m., Student Lounge): Judge Lamoureux Coffee Shop. Snackon some treats and join our Judge in Residence for some “Exam Hangover” dis-cussion.

Jan. 23, 2009: The highly anticipated Law Formal will be taking place at Belve-

dere and promises to be a not to miss event! Jan. 29, 2009: SLS Ski Trip to Fernie, BC. As of Dec. 22, there are six spots available! Interested individuals should email

Esther Kim at [email protected]. $307 includes 2 nights accommodations at Timberline Lodge, 2 lift passes and bustransportation)

Some other important information:Yearbook: the SLS will be publishing a yearbook this year for all students. Co-Editors Cathy Nguyen and I will needstudents to sit on the yearbook committee. Interested individuals can send their submissions of interest to ([email protected] & [email protected]).Law Show: a friendly reminder to all years to start planning your skits, talents, music videos, etc. This year promisesto be an awesome event. I’m currently looking for my sabre for potentially another Kung Fu Fighting show.CRO position: CDC"E3(#+&$!%":&33".(",(3'"&!"A-)#,7"F,("8,&(0"G(+2)!&!*"H0/#()"&%"&!"#,-)*("$0")2!!&!*"+,("(3(#+&$!%7"The SLS will be selecting the CRO for the 2010 elections in February. Please send letters of interest and a resume [email protected].

Have a great year everyone!

Murray Fraser Hall

New Year’s Resolutions !Law students might be busy people, but few can resist the lure of self-improvement promised by a new year’s resolution.A few brave students volunteered to share their resolutions for this year with us. Whether big or small, whether this is+,("/)%+"+&4("+,(9I<("4-'("+,&%")(%$32+&$!"$)"+,("%(#$!'"J$)"%&?+,K5"$!39"+&4(":&33"+(33":,(+,()"+,(%(")(%$32+&$!%":&33"%+&#;7"Good luck!

Tiffany Butler 1L: To learn Spanish

Emma McAuliffe, 1L: To play more squash

Elisa Frank, 1L: To do 10 chinups

Sarah Thompson, 2L: To be less stressed

Shanelle Sinclair, 2L: To stop eating anything made with-)+&/#&-3"%:((+(!()%"

Erin Farrell, 3L: To cook 10 meals with 10 classmates

Sophia Mapara, 3L: to be on time and get better at foosball



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Life OutsideLaw School

By Shawn Kraft, 2L

What is you life outside law school

like?L",-<(".((!"4-))&('"0$)"/<("9(-)%5"-!'"49":&0("-!'"L",-<("a 6 month old daughter. I try to work out at least fourtimes a week and we get together with friends or family atleast one night of the weekend.

How much time do you devote to this every week?M,(!"L"'$"!$+",-<("(<(!&!*"#3-%%(%5"L"/!&%,":&+,",$4(-work at 6 pm every night. I spend about an hour work-ing out and then the rest of the evening playing with mydaughter and spending time with my wife during theweek. On the weekends, I try and do about 6 hrs of home-work and then the rest of the time is spent as a family and

getting together with friends.

!"#$%#&'%$"'%(')'*$+%,-%"#./)0%&'+1,)+/(/2/$/'+3/)$'&'+$+%outside of law school?I do not get burnt out! I found in my Engineering degree+,-+"+,("/)%+"#$213("9(-)%5"L"%1(!+"-34$%+"-33"$0"49"+&4("doing homework. I understood the material but when it

Calgary Toronto Moscow Almaty Caracas Rio de Janeiro www.mdstudents.ca

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came time for the exam I was burnt out anddidn’t have the energy to solve the prob-lems.

What are the drawbacks, if any?A drawback is that sometimes I feel thatI am not doing enough, or that everyoneelse is working harder than I am. Thisused to leave me feeling guilty for taking

time for other things in my life. However, I have found thatthese feelings went away after I discovered that my gradesimproved when I took time for other activities outside ofschool.

How do you make time in your schedule?L"/!'"+,-+"+&4("4-!-*(4(!+"-!'"0$#2%"-)("+,(";(9%"0$)"4(7"I allocate a certain number of hours per week to get mywork done and I follow it with some minor adjustments-%"L"*$7""L"/!'"+,-+":,(!"L";!$:"+,-+"L"$!39",-<("-"#()+-&!"amount of time to get my work done, it allows me to focusbetter to make sure it gets done in the allotted time.

What advice do you have for students who want a lifeoutside law school?As I mentioned above, I found that my grades actually im-proved after I started limiting how much schoolwork I did,and actually gave other aspects of my life equal priority. I/!'"+,-+":,(!"/!-3"(?-4%"#$4("L",-<("+,("(!()*9"+$"%+2'9and write them with a fresh mind. This works for me.



Janet Shaikh

Where: Singapore

Why: To have a chance to see South EastAsia.

Budget (Accomodations/tuition): $2000same as U of C tuition

Describe the courses/exams/schedule:Intensive classes for 3 weeks, 3 times a w

for 3 hours a day. Weekend take homeexams.

How much traveling did you do? We treled for 2 1/2 months total over the 4 mperiod we were there.

Budget for traveling expenses: $5000

Best place you visited: Thailand, VietnaIndonesia, Malaysia, Cambodia, and Lao

Tips for anyone interested in going on

exchange? The intensive classes are greathose interested in traveling.

Any other information you would like tshare? Tons. Just come ask me!

4&/)%5#&&'22%#)6%7,80%9#:%;,)

Where: Groningen, The Netherlands

Why: International law in Den Hague! The ICJ, ICC, HCCH, EU Parlia-ment are all based in The Netherlands and the Dutchspeak excellent English! Plus, who doesn’t love Wind-mills, Tulips, Clogs, Gouda (pronounced Who-da!) und ashmoke und a pancake??

Budget (Accommodations/tuition): Accommodationsare approx. 350-450 Euro/month; Tuition: UofC Tuition!

Describe the courses/exams/schedule: Excellent courseofferings ~ lots of international courses which focus onsupranational institutions such as the EU, WTO and UN.Also great courses on Comparative Private InternationalLaw. Classes are either A, B or AB - so with an all ‘A’%#,('23("&+":$23'".("+(#,!&#-339"1$%%&.3("+$".("/!&%,('"by November! But be sure to check exam dates whenselecting courses.

How much traveling did you do? Every second weekend we went on 4day weekend somewhere in Europe! Before school started we saw Rome,Florence, Sienna, the Chianti Region, Mount Vesuvius and Naples (PS: Na-ples is a DUMP!); During the semester we went to Brussels, Ypres, Berlin,Munich (Oktoberfest), Paris, Barcelona, Edinburgh and Vienna (ChristmasMarkets)! We also had a look around Amsterdam and saw the TragicallyHip and Paul McCartney play live in concert. We also saw Team Canada atthe World Cup Speed Skating Championships in Heerenveen, NL!

Budget for traveling expenses: Lots. Each weekend was a grand...

B(%+"13-#("9$2"<&%&+('N"G$4(5"L+-39"O"+,("/)%+"%+$17"F,("8$3&%(245"0$$'"-!'"

red wine was amazing. Although, seeing FC Barca as well as the Scot’s beatthe Aussie in Rugby at Murray Stadium were highlights, there is some-thing about Rome.

Tips for anyone interested in going on exchange? DO IT. YOU WOULD BECRAZY NOT TO GO ON EXCHANGE!!! SERIOUSLY, IT WAS THE BESTPART OF LAW SCHOOL!!!

Any other information you would like to share? If you plan to travel withluggage, avoid RyanAir. Try not to be too offended by the awful Germancustomer service. If a Dutch person is in need of assistance, please helpthem ~ we owe them!

Around the Worlin a Semester !



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Where: Oslo, Norway

Why: University of Oslo has Public International Law programThere were lots of courses I was interested in taking that wereavailable at the U of C (some described below) in this programAlso, the opportunity to travel in Europe was a huge plus.

Budget (Accomodations/tuition): about $10,000 - 14,000

Describe the courses/exams/schedule: I took Public Internatial Law, International Constitutional Law and Democracy, andsat in on Human Rights: Institutions and Procedures. I generahad 10-12 hours of class per week (2-4 hrs of class per course p

:((;K7"A9"/)%+"(?-4":-%"P$<"QR+,"-!'"49"3-%+"(?-4":-%"S(16th.

How much traveling did you do? I visited Germany my seconweekend into exchange, traveled to Stavanger, Norway the neweekend and Rome/Amsterdam during the last week of Sep-tember. In October, I visited Copenhagen, Paris and Amsterda-!'"4-'("-"/!-3"+)&1"+$"B()3&!"&!"S(#(4.()7

Budget for traveling expenses: $1,000-$2,000

Best place you visited: Rome & Berlin, partly because I was abto experience and spend more than just a weekend in both cit

Rome was still hot & sunny when I visited - which is perfectfor wandering (and getting lost in) the streets on your way tomarble fountains and the ancient ruins. I went to Berlin whileChristmas Markts were up - meaning more to do in the eveninand being able to enjoy the Christmas stalls and gorgeous lighset up!

Tips for anyone interested in going on exchange? Make sureyou end up choosing a place where you’ll enjoy your courses much as the places you intend on visiting. Going on exchangeis a great opportunity to take advantage of programs that maynot be offered at the U of C and could give you ideas on place

to travel that you had not intended to travel (for me, this wasBerlin!).

Any other information you would like to share? Some of mybest memories from exchange were from times I was placed oof my comfort zone - so don’t be afraid to get uncomfortable!

Laura Coward

Where: University of Auckland (New Zealand)

Why: Hiking with no bears, bungee, warm weather andof course for school.

Budget (Accomodations/tuition): $3,500/semester forresidence in the middle of downtown Auckland andUniversity of Calgary tuition.

Describe the courses/exams/schedule: Took a fullcourse load with two paper courses and two courseswith exams. My schedule was focused towards themiddle of the week to travel on the weekends.

How much traveling did you do? Almost every otherweekend with longer trip for my mid-semester (whichwas two weeks) and another longer trip between theend of classes and the beginning of exams (which wasanother two weeks). I also started in July and endedin November so I was able to travel for a month afterschool.

Budget for traveling expenses: Depends on how muchyou travel and how close you stick to the country youare studying in.

Best place you visited: Hard to pick but if I had to say,Borneo. In New Zealand, the Abel Tasman

Tips for anyone interested in going on exchange? Doit! It was one of the best experiences of my life. I wish Icould go back.

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Ms. Smarr T. Pants RantsClickity Clack

I would like to know who the genius is that designed the library? Now, I can appreciate that we are pretty lucky to havethis wonderful facility in our midst, for our study/research/napping pleasure, I really can appreciate that."T$:(<()5"+,()("&%"U2%+"$!("V-:"+,-+"4-;(%"4("#)-W97"M,$"12+%"-"%+-&)#-%("+,)$2*,"+,("4&''3("$0"-!"$+,():&%("%&3(!+"

space. And tiles it?L+I%")(-339"!&#("+,-+"9$2"3-'&(%":(-)"%2#,"*)(-+"%,$(%7"@!'":,(!"&+I%":-)45"L"-3%$"(!U$9"+,("V&119XV$1%7"B2+"+,("!$&%(5"

+,(",$))$)Y"M&+,"49".-#;"+2)!('5"L"#-!"+(33":,-+"&%"#$4&!*"'$:!"+,$%("%+-&)%7"M$4-!"$)"4-!Z"C,20V()"$)"%$4(.$'9":,$"walks like they know where they are are going and is about to turf any SNAIL in that path of destiny. An unnamed manwith a wheelie-bag headed for mooting greatness.T((3%"$)"V&1XV$1%5"(<()9$!("0)$4"+,(".-%(4(!+"+$"+,("4(WW-!&!("*(+%"+)(-+('"+$"+,("%-4("-2'&.3("-%%-23+7"83-#;5"#3-#;5"

#3-#;7">3&15"V&15"V&17"L"'$!I+":-!+"+$"%$2!'"2!*)-+(023"0$)"+,("1)&<&3(*("$0".(&!*"-.3("+$"#)-4"+,(":,$3("+,)(("9(-)%"$0"3-:"into one mezzanine to the exclusion of others…wait, is that a property right? Or the excellent and most helpful folks who;((1"+,("13-#(")2!!&!*"-!'",(31"2%"-33"!$+"0-&3"$2)")(%(-)#,"+-%;%7"P$5"!$7"L+I%"$!39"+,("V$$)"+)(-+4(!+"+,-+"L"+)239"'(%1&%(7"F,("1)(#-)&$2%39"%3&11()9"%2)0-#("132%"$!("F&449I%"%1&33"-!'"-":,$3("'$W(!"/)%+"9(-)"%#&(!#("%+2'(!+%":$23'".("'$:!7"F,(")$#;",-)'"%2)0-#("+,-+"4-;(%"(<(!"%;-+("%,$(%"%$2!'"3&;("-"V&11&!*"(3(1,-!+"&%"-11)$-#,&!*7"[(%5"L"3$<("49"3&.)-)95".2+"+,$%("%+-&)%5"$,"+,$%("%+-&)%7"""""""""""""""LI'"3&;("+$"/!'"+,("1()%$!":,$"%-&'"\:,9"'$!I+":(".2&3'"-"%+-&)#-%("-!'",-<("-!"open sort of concept to exude transparency so that each and every patron may announce their arrival to the mezzaninelevel.” To that person, I give the pleasure of sitting at that one table that is so close to the stairs it feels that you have tomake eye contact with every person who comes down (and mentally note: SNAIL: scowl, colleague: smile) and trying to

read yet another rambling SCC case.My solution? I think I’d like to see a slipper rule instituted. Not unlike the hideous “bowling shoe” phenomenon, one

would simply turn in their outdoor footwear in exchange for some ridiculously warm, fuzzy slippers, which have ofcourse somehow been magically deemed hygienic. It would be silent, comfortable and most importantly, way less annoy-ing.





3,2,1...

])$/3(%Y

Name: Vickie Hockley

Hometown: Calgary

Undergrad Studies: English – I learned how to speak good Pre-law school employment/volunteer experience: legalassistant, law summer student, Nancy Greene ski coach, acouple of summers in golf course pro shops, volunteeringwith public library and elementary school programs forkids, Habitat for Humanity work, U of C’s ‘Into the Streets’program

Exam Rituals?-sleep in as long as possible everyday-stay away from the library-eat wellX%+2'9"(0/#&(!+39"-!'"+-;("3$+%"$0".)(-;%

What do you do to keep sane?-ski, yoga, gym-non-law related activities like napping

If you could be any place right now, where would you be?X*$3/!*"-+"S(%()+"M&33$:"&!"]-34"C1)&!*%

What’s the scariest thing you have ever done?-going off of jumps going 120 km/hr during downhill raceson water-injected courses (think shear ice) – I cried beforemy race at Lake Louise and actually thought I was going todie at Apex Mountain

Person you look up to and why?My Dad – his ability to balance a successful work life withraising a large family and maintaining a light-hearted andgood natured sense of humour.

One thing people in lawschool don’t know aboutyou?I had ladies size 8 shoeswhen I was 8 years old

Best/Worst New Years?B(%+N":-+#,&!*"/)(:$);%"

on the beach in MauiWorst- going to a beachthemed party in a bikiniand ending up walking toa friend’s house in -20Cweather

Name: Anjli Patel

Hometown: Stirling, Ontario (a small town about an houfrom Kingston)

Undergrad Studies: Biomedical Computing

Pre-law school employment/volunteer experience: I alwtook courses over the summer so the school year would less demanding, or had a research position. I used to vo

unteer at Toronto Fashion Week as a model dresser.

E?-4"G&+2-3%Z"">$)"/)%+"%(4(%+()"$0"/)%+"9(-)5"L".$2*,+"three Crave cupcakes in advance of exams and had half cupcake after I wrote each exam. Yes, only half. Consideing I have no self control when it comes to food, I have nidea how I didn’t inhale all three immediately after buyithem!

What do you do to keep sane? Do you really have to askShop online! = D

If you could be any place right now, where would you bAlthough sometimes they drive me crazy, with my famil

What’s the scariest thing you have ever done? Basicallyanything that involves heights. Every time I’ve been in tCN Tower I think, ‘This time is going to be different!’ Buevery time I’m practically crawling back to the elevator.

Person you look up to and why? My parents, for immiging to Canada almost 30 years ago with next to nothing aworking hard to become successful.

One thing people in law school don’t know about you?

a neat freak. My house is always presentable!

Best/Worst New Years? They’ve all been good, but my lmeal of the decade was pretty awesome. My family and

ate at Lee in Toronto and I met Iron Chef Susur Lee!



Name: Bergis Mostaghim Hometown: Calgary Undergrad Studies: Political Science Pre-law school employment/volunteer experi-ence: I worked at Shell before and during lawschool (no not the gas station, not that there isanything wrong with working at the gas station).I was also a teacher’s assistant when I was doingmy Masters and I worked with Zeddy at Zellersfor a number of years. I have volunteered atnumerous places but my favorite was at my locallibrary teaching children how to read. Exam Rituals? I really wish I could say I had agreat exam ritual that helped me get all A’s, sadlythat is not the case. I would probably say myexam ritual consists of overeating, undersleep-ing, and constant worry.

What do you do to keep sane? Well sanity to me means being happy so shopping, sleeping, dancing, reading, traveling andhanging with friends/family (not necessarily in that order) all keep me sane. If you could be any place right now, where would you be? Living in a beach house in Maui, eating fresh pineapple andhoping I never have to see snow again! What’s the scariest thing you have ever done? When I was in Hawaii, I snorkeled and learned how to surf which weren’tscary but what was scary was that I could have been eaten by sharks. Oh and I once went on the drop of doom (it’s a ridefor those of you have never been to fantasy land in West Ed) which was scary because I am afraid of heights. Person you look up to and why? This might sound corny but I really look up to my mom who I think really epitomizesa strong, smart, and compassionate woman who also happens to be a fantastic mother! Oh I also think Nelson Mandelamight possibly be a saint.

H!("+,&!*"1($13("&!"3-:"%#,$$3"'$!I+";!$:"-.$2+"9$2Z"L":-%"&!".-!'"#-417"F,-+I%")&*,+"L"13-9('"+,("V2+("&!".-!'"#-41"%$"when people make that joke “this one time at band camp...” not so funny when you were actually in band camp! Best/Worst New Years? I don’t think I have ever had a bad New Years, I mean I might have fallen asleep before the count-down but I wouldn’t consider that bad, just kind of lame. The best New Years are the ones that I get to spend with thepeople I love, regardless of where or what we were doing.

Moot Times is published by:

Meghan Waters( [email protected])

Esther Kim([email protected])

Vhari Storwick([email protected])

Orlagh O’Kelly([email protected])

and

Anjili Patel([email protected])

If you would like to contribute or have any questions or comments please contact any of the publishers or email [email protected].



Work/Life BalanceDear K + AYou ask, We answer, Everyone wins @ life. Submit your ques-

tions to “[email protected]” (K=I) [The views of Ido not necessarily represent those of K]

>?%%%%%%%%%%%%%%!"@%/+)A$%<%B&/$/)0%$"/+%C,)$"D%!"'&'%6/6%"'%0,DDLN""""""""""""""F,&%"4$!+,"L":&33".("/33&!*"

in for K. “I” referring to both me and myname. The real truth about K is a sordidand sorry tale that I will gladly share withyou. Thanks to the wonders of the Internetand the evils of Facebook, a photograph ofa woman who looks exactly like K recentlyemerged and K hasn’t been the same eversince. His narcissistic urge to stare at his

)(V(#+&$!"&!"+,("4&))$)"0$)"^"%+)-&*,+",$2)%"every morning have been replaced by an$<()1$:()&!*"'(%&)("+$"/!-339"/!'",&%"perfect double and he has dedicated himselfentirely to the endeavour. It’s pretty weird...

K: I hoped the day wouldn’t comewhere I’d have to tell you this... but K isManbearpig.

>?%%%%%%%%%%%%%%EAC%/)%*&+$%@'#&%2#BF%"#.'%6,)'%GHH%$"'%&'#6/)0+F%C#6'%C@%,B)%;GIJF%#)6%0')'&#22@%*)6%2#B%+:",,2%1&'$$@%'#+@K%E%6,%"#.'%,)'%L8'+$/,)%$",80"?%

Why are all the decisions written by1',12'%B",+'%*&+$%)#C'+%('0/)%B/$"%MD%E%think this is a Charter violation.

A: Stupid question, easy answer.The reason dates back four hundred and/0+9"9(-)%5":,(!"(<()9+,&!*":-%"/!("&!"+,("legal system. Back then, the law applied toeverybody, damages were usually in theneighbourhood of a king’s ransom, and#$2!#&3"2%('"+$",-<("+$"/*,+"/)(X.)(-+,&!*"dragons before they were taken seriouslyin court (especially intellectual propertylawyers). Then something terrible hap-pened. A seedy underground world ofcounterfeit judgments began to surface,changing judge’s decisions to the exact op-posite of what they said, making witchcraftlegal, and substituting the word “wench”

for “fair maiden”, for example. It was out ofcontrol. The chief justices of the time calleda grand council round table to discuss whatthey could do, and the most supreme chief

justice, Justice Oliver Clothesoff, came up:&+,"+,("%$32+&$!N"+,("&!0-4$2%"])(/?"_7"From thereafter, all true decisions were rec-ognized by looking for the J in front of theperson’s name who wrote it. I can’t believeyou haven’t learned this from professorLevy yet.

I: The only real Charter violationyou need concern yourself with is the factthat my answers in this column may be

edited without my consent – and that’sAFTER I agreed to pick up K’s slack....Now let me tell you all about A’s deepdark secret: <edited out>

Q: After two and a half yearsof law school, I’ve realized I don’twant to be a lawyer any more. What:#)%E%6,%B/$"%C@%6'0&''%/)+$'#6D

I: You really only have 2 options.(1) Rejuvenate a fad from days gone by; or(2) Become a viral video youtube sensation.

Unless you can think of a new and inventiveuse for pogs, and/or video tape yourselfusing a broomstick as a lightsaber whilekicking it with T-Pain, I’d stick to the lawtalking stuff.

A: It depends on whether you’rea man or a woman. Because if you’re awoman, you can do nothing. But if you’rea man, you can’t, and that’s why you neversee a man doing anything that makes himhappy. But I think I’ve developed two ways0$)"4(!"+$"*(+"-)$2!'"+,&%7"F,("/)%+"&%"4-))9-ing rich. But then your marriage is the thingthat makes you unhappy. You never run intoa girl at a bar and ask her what she does, and

she says she’s independently rich and thatshe likes your smile. That never ever hap-pens. You have to fake ambition to get one ofthese warlocks, and after you’re married for-"9(-)"$)"+:$"-!'"%,("/!'%"$2+"9$2",-<("!$"goals and no talent, then the rest of your lifeis just living in opposite wings of your man-sion and she looks at you like this is all yourfault. So maybe that won’t work. The secondis moving to Bountiful B.C., and marrying 32women. This really is the only viable optionI’ve thought of for a man to have himself asugar mama. One stays at home, with you,and the other 31 are out working. Me, I don’tknow if I could do it - I mean it’s a whole

different way of life altogether. Moving toBountiful and marrying 32 cheeseburgers,however?... now there’s something I’d do ina heartbeat.

Q: What’s the deal with closed-book exams in law school?

I: Eventually teaching law becomesas haggard and boring as it is to have tolearn the stuff – closed-book exams are thebotox of law school. Profs are sometimes indenial about the fact that there isn’t anythingthat they can teach us that isn’t already inthe CANS and textbooks in a far more clearand concise manner. And while it may seem

tempting from a theoretical perspective tostrip us of our notes so that we can spend 3hours writing a tight exam on the philoso-phy about bankruptcy law, in the end thenovelty wears out, leaving you with a saggyexam full of nothing but a syllabus re-word-ed into full sentences and possible relief ofthe headaches that would have ensued whenmarking exams that could at least serve as a1-3(")(V(#+&$!"$0"+,("$1(!X.$$;"1)-#+&#("$0"law.

A: Whatever “I” said.Q: This is my last term of law

school, and quite possibly my last term in+:",,2%#2$,0'$"'&K%!"#$A+%2/-'%2/N'%,8$+/6'%of school?

A: You spend 5 years planningyour costume for Creation Entertainment’sBattlestar Galactica Convention at the Bur-.-!;"@&)1$)+"A-))&$++"T$+(35"$!39"+$"/!'"$2+they day before that the event is cancelled.And then 40 years later you die.

I: You know how every Starbuckshas that one guy who is like always there?That guy who starts off his day pulling aventi cup off the pile, writing his name onit, and the staff just know what to make for,&4":&+,"(<()9")(/337"P$5",("'$(%!I+",-<("a laptop to take advantage of the 2 hoursa day of free wireless he would get with aregistered Starbucks card, he’s just there3(-/!*"+,)$2*,":,-+(<()"!(:%1-1()%"-!'"magazines he can get his hands on doing the

occasional crossword or sudoku wheneverthe mood strikes. Real life is kind of likethat except without the tasty beverages,feigned politeness, imagined respect, andpeople actually knowing your name. Insteadyou get about 4 decades of back-breaking,soul-crushing labour, wallpaper that hauntsyour dreams, and the occasional Tom Clancynovel even though you hate Tom Clancy.Why Tom Clancy? He’s the only author theycarry at that pharmacy you go to to buyyourself birthday cards. In short: ENJOY!Oh yeah: blah blah blah BSG blah. Anyways,this is “Better than K” signing off!



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Documents

Moot Times - January 2010