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Fam i ly Looking after you and yoursFAMILY MATTERS

KIDS’ PUZZLES!

WORDSEARCH

ALFREDANNE

CHARLESEDWARD

ELIZABETHGEORGEHENRY

JAMES

JOHN

MARY

RICHARD

VICTORIA

WILLIAM

Can you find all these names in the grid?

SPOT THE DIFFERENCE Can you spot the six differences between the pictures below?

ELIZABETHL

DBADRAWDEO

RBICHARLES

AJRLHBWTFY

HAOYEINTHR

CMTXLGYXKN

IECLLERRHE

RSIJOPNOAH

HAVEUPJNEM

MDERFLAXAG

EDRAHCIRHM

LBBJAMESAD

IAIROTCIVE

ZDCLYXLJER

ARHHELLOUF

BAABIGEPPL

EWRWNYRNJA

TDLTTXRONX

HEEFHKHAEA

LOSYRNEHMG

Solutions

CHILDREN’Sbook of the week

PRODUCTof the week

THE GIRL WHO SAVED CHRISTMAS by Matt Haig (Canongate Books, hardback £12.99, ebook £6.17)HHHH�HLAST year, Matt Haig wowed young readers – and, let’s face it, grown-ups too – with the origins story of Santa in A Boy Called Christmas.

A magical tale of how 11-year-old Nikolas, with only an old turnip for a toy, ended up in Elfhelm, the elf village, and became the jolly fella with the belly laugh.

This year, Father Christmas, the rounded, red-clad chap Nikolas is now, is back, but needs some help.

A year after he delivered presents that first Christmas Eve, there’s not enough hope in the air (in the form of Northern Lights) to power his sleigh – and Elfhelm is under attack from trolls. So Christmas, against his wishes, is canned.

Meanwhile, in Victorian London, chimney sweep Amelia Wishart, the first child FC delivered presents to, ends up in Creepers Workhouse, and starts to lose all hope of seeing Christmas again.

A year later, and with Elfhelm rebuilt, everything seems to be going to plan. But there’s not quite enough hope to power Father Christmas to Amelia’s house and when he gets there, she’s not to be found.

While back in Elfhelm, the newly appointed troll correspondent Noosh and her son Little Mim have gone missing.

And so, with the help of a couple of very famous Victorian characters, a little disguise and his trusty reindeer, Father Christmas sets out to save Amelia, so she, in turn, can save Christmas.

Funny, heartfelt, pacey and with brilliant illustrations (again) from Chris Mould that bring Amelia and co to life, Haig’s book is a homage to Charles Dickens that may well endure as long as the work of that great man himself.

KIDS will love cosying up in these cute slippers. Dinosaur fans will enjoy stepping back in time in these triceratops slippers (£12 from the National History Museum shop/ nhmshop.co.uk). Or young animal lovers can patter around in fun hedgehog footwear (£7, flyingtiger.com).

jane costello

We shouldn’t have to apologise for talking about our kids at work...

Texting and social media has had a huge effect on how young people communicate, both in the digital and actual world

Mark Leigh, left, and his book, How To Talk Teen, above

Translating how your teen talksIF TODAY’S TEENAGE SLANG LEAVES YOU UTTERLY CONFUZZLED, A NEW GUIDE CAN HELP YOU TRANSLATE, PROMISES AUTHOR MARK LEIGH. LISA SALMON FINDS OUT MORE

TEEN talk is so bad it’s sick. As a rough translation, that means it’s great. If you’re a teenager.

If you’re a parent, on the other hand, it is quite literally bad – a foreign language that leaves mums and dads ‘riding the struggle bus’, as their teen-talking kids might put it.

And that, of course, is part of the reason it exists, explains author and father-of-two-teenagers, Mark Leigh.

“It is about using terms your parents don’t know, but it’s primarily about laziness and just making things as short as possible,” he says.

TOTES AWESOMEAS A regular customer at Starbies (the ‘affectionate’ teen nickname for the coffee shop chain Starbucks), Mark heard so much indecipherable teenage slang that he decided an entertaining explanatory guide was needed.

So he researched (with the help of his children, aged 18 and 19) and wrote How To Talk Teen, a “totes awesome” dictionary of teen slang.

“Eavesdropping on teenagers’ conversations, I was just thinking ‘What are they talking about?’ I wanted to know what they meant,” Mark explains.

Not only is teen slang often unintelligible, it can also be utterly confusing, even if you think you know what particular phrases mean.

Take ‘poppin tags’, for example. If a teen says they’re off to pop tags they may simply mean they’re going shopping. But if they’re using its alternative interpretation, they could get arrested – it also means shoplifting.

“If you think you’re poppin tags going shopping, that’s good, but if your teen thinks it’s shoplifting, that’s probably not so good,” warns Mark.

Some of the slang does mean what it says – like the slightly convoluted ‘re-uninvite’.

This is when someone invites a person to a party, changes their mind and tells them they’re not invited any more, then has a change of heart and invites them

again, and then finally decides that they don’t want them to come.

“So they’re re-uninvited,” says Mark with a laugh. “There really is a name for it, which is just wonderful.”

SYLLABLE OVERLOADA GREAT example of teenagers’ utter lack of spoken effort is the term ‘BT dubs’.

Clearly the phrase ‘by the way’ is far too long for teens to bother typing or saying out loud – but, unbelievably, even the by the way acronym ‘BTW’ is excessively lengthy for this age group. That final ‘W’ is three whole syllables and, quite frankly, saying all three is a waste of precious teen time.So the troublesome ‘W’ is

shortened to the easier, single-syllable slang ‘dubs’. Sorted.

“How much effort does it really take to say ‘W’?! It’s so lazy it’s unbelievable,” says Mark.

In a similar lazy vein, a teenager might use the bizarre phrase, ‘Om, nom, nom,’ when tasty food is

mentioned. Apparently this onomatopoeic gem originates from the Cookie Monster in TV’s Sesame Street, who made the sound when munching his favourite cookies.

For today’s teen it’s simply much easier to say than, ‘This is particularly appetising’.

“It’s like an evolution of the teen grunt, but I’m sure next year it’ll just be, ‘Om’ because they’ll get bored of saying the rest,” Mark observes.

WHY TXT SPK?A MAJOR contributory factor to teen speak is text and social media, and young people’s need to get their meaning across with the minimum amount of typing (and effort).

“They want to convey the most

information in as short a space as possible, both because they may have a limited amount of characters and also because they just can’t be bothered to type much,” says Mark.

Part of the motivation for using teen slang is also for young people to show their peers they know the words, and to prove they’re cool.

“A lot of it is middle class suburban kids trying to look cool talking about their ‘hood’ and trying to get one over on their peers, especially if they’re using acronyms,” Mark points out.

One such acronym is HFFA, meaning ‘hot from far away’ – the closer a person

gets to you, the more unattractive they become.

Mark suggests the plethora of TV channels and US shows now available means American slang is more widely used today, and circulated widely via social media, so it rapidly becomes accepted parlance.

“It’s a combination of all these things coming together, and it’s only going to get better or worse, depending on how you look at it,” warns Mark.

■ How To Talk Teen by Mark Leigh is

published in hardback by Little, Brown, priced £9.99.

How much effort does it really take to say ‘W’?! It’s so lazy it’s unbelievable...

Author Mark Leigh discussing the teen term ‘BT dubs’ – a shortened version of ‘BTW’ which itself is short for ‘by the way’

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IF YOU watch a lot of American TV shows, you’ll know that there’s an unspoken rule in any office: nobody can discuss non work-related matters unless they’re standing at the water cooler.

In reality, even in the most draconian of companies – where chit-chat is frowned upon unless it’s about year-end statistics – discussion between colleagues about whatever else is going on in their lives is fairly inevitable.

But while all of us are happy to thrash out whether the last series of The Fall was any good or if Janice in accounts is having an affair, one subject is apparently more controversial than most: our kids. At least, it

is if you happen to be female.Studies have found that many

women shy away from talking too much about their children at work for fear that it can reflect negatively on them.

This stems from a concern that colleagues would conclude a woman is more committed to her kids than her job (sorry, but wouldn’t it be odd if this wasn’t the case for either parent?)

However, if a man does the same, they’re simply seen as a ‘caring father’.

This is reflected in a poll run recently by the Fawcett society, which found that 46% of those who responded believed a

woman becomes less committed to her job after having a baby, while the corresponding figure for men was just 11%.

Which is depressing but not at all surprising.

Actually, it’s a shame, because even if children have nothing whatsoever to do with your job, they’re still the biggest part of the lives of many of us outside work.

Talking about them isn’t just natural, it also provides a common bond between you and your colleagues.

Within reason, obviously. I’m not suggesting you should bore

everyone senseless about how you think your daughter has it in her to be an Olympic gymnast, or chew the ear off the work experience lad about the trials of 11-plus entrance exams.

However, why should anyone apologise about discussing the most important people in their lives?

What’s more interesting and valid – the fact that David in marketing is having a leg day tomorrow at the gym? Or that Alicia, the PA, has been approached by a guy on Tinder

asking if she’d consider trying Nutella in the bedroom? (OK, bad

example – that possibly does count as more interesting).

The point is, we parents are quite prepared to talk about all of these and more. But in return it hardly seems unreasonable that we’re indulged in a little

potty training chat.Or perhaps it’s just a

good job that these days I’m self-employed.

■ Jane’s latest novel, Summer Nights at the Moonlight Hotel, is out now, priced £7.99.

If water cooler gossip is OK then talking about our kids should be too

Family matters■ Parenting column bySasha Brown, family caremanager at CommunityFamily Care, Staunton

WITH the festive period creeping up onus, many families will be travelling tovisit friends and relatives.

For some parents travelling in the carwith children can be a stressful event ifthey are constantly distracted, trying tostop fights, preventing the removal ofseatbelts, or trying to keep children en-ter tained.

If the thought of that car journey fillsyou with dread then here are somesimple tips that could make it easier.

Plan aheadPrepare your child in advance for thejourney. Talk to them about safety andhow the driver needs to be able to con-centrate as well as reminding them aboutneeding to wear a seatbelt.

Remember to set a good example bywearing your own seatbelt.

Bored children are more likely to mis-behave so plan some activities that yourchild can do in the car to keep themoccupied and out of mischief.

This could be engaging them in gamessuch as I-spy and counting games orkeeping a few toys in the car.

Engaging them with questions aboutwhat they see/hear gives them briefamounts of your attention whilst alsopromoting development.

RulesSetting simple rules can help remindyour child what is expected of themwhilst you are travelling in the car. Forexample, ‘Keep your seatbelt on’, ‘Speakin your quiet voice’, or ‘Keep your handsand feet to yourself ’, are all good remind-ers of what behaviour you would like tosee whilst in the car.

Remember to go through the rules withyour child before your journey and agreeon a reward for following the rules.

PraiseRewards are a good way of encouragingyour child to behave well while travellingand can reinforce the behaviour that youwant to see from them.

Rewards needn’t be expensive orfood-based: a special activity at the end ofthe journey or extra quality time withmum/dad can be more effective rewardsthan sweets.

Give your child praise each time theyare behaving as you want them to.

ConsequencesBefore you set off, discuss the con-sequences with your child of what willhappen if they do not follow the rules.

Consequences could involve: not receiv-ing the reward, removal of a toy or priv-ilege at the other end of the journey, orstopping the car for time out.

If your child is whining, shouting, orpulling faces, simply tell them that youare not going to respond to them untilthey use their quiet/nice voice and onlygive them attention when they are dis-playing the behaviour you want to see.

This can always be backed up with aconsequence if the behaviour continues.

ReviewAfter the trip remember to review it withyour child and give them lots of praise forall of the good behaviour.

If they didn’t follow a rule, encouragethem to remember it for the next journey.

Plan ahead forfestive journeys