Exploring P.T.S.D. fianl draft

8/7/2019 Exploring P.T.S.D. fianl draft

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the fu ture. Johnny is playing ball wi th his younger bro ther in the front yard while thesmall of mom·s apple pie invades their nos trils. As the ar oma r eaches their location,that spec ial pet s tands jus t ins ide the doo r w anting ou t to be amo ng the active f amilyas dad is w ashing the s tatio n-w ag o n in the drivew ay. Su ddenly, ou t of nowher e, themail tr u ck tu rns the co rner jus t dow n the blo ck heading tow ard the f amily ho me and Johnny·s entir e fu tu r e f inds itself in the f rig htening embrace of dang er and u npr edictability w ithin a tou r -of-du ty Johnny·s no t yet awar e of. He·s nineteen and can·t seem to let his you ng er br o ther have that o ld ball mitt he used when his team wo n the Y.M.C.A. champio nship when he played fo r the Blue H awks f ive year s ag o.When the mail man dr ops that letter in Johnny·s mail box his f avo rite o ld ball mitt is n·t g o ing to matter anymo r e, believe me! _____________________________________________________________

P art two of the evalu atio n: Af ter all the training and br o ken-heartedness that acco mpanies g o ing to war , Johnny is off to hell in so me rat ho le o n the o ther s ide of the planet. Johnny does n·t speak the lang u ag e of Rat Ho le. Fo r the mos t part Rat Ho le is primitive and backward to ever ything Johnny kno ws and lo ves, and he has to spend twelve mo nths (?) in Rat Ho le while ever yo ne o n his blo ck wants to blo w his brains ou t and kill all of his f riends (bu t when he g ets back ho me, if he g ets back, he·ll jus t have to ´g et o ver itµ). And, Rat Ho le does n·t even have r u nning water; what kind of rat ho le is this anyway? Johnny jus t wants to g o ho me and see Mo m, D ad, and little

br o ther . Fact is, Johnny will never again r elate to his f amily the way he did befo r e thewar . Never !

Most of Johnny¶s psychological/emotional post war personally will not be thesame as the pre-war Johnny. H e has changed tremendously! The variations of his altered state of mind will depend on exactly where he was, how long he wasthere, what he personally saw/experienced, and was Johnny physically disabledto any degree.

Johnny has officially become an alien with a temper issue and spends most of his time alone, even if others are around; he wants to talk with someone whounderstands his new alien language but can¶t seem to find the right person. Now the darkness that was birthed in his heart in Rat Hole starts to fester anddevelops its own personality. At the craziest of times and the darkest of moodsJohnny finds himself missing Rat Hole. He became so traumatically ingrained in



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the Rat Hole culture that he now has difficulty simply making it through the day,often yelling at his little brother for no apparent reason. When mom tries to look for the old Johnny in the war-torn blue eyes of her innocent young son all shesees is that thousand yard stare that says, Sorry Johnny¶s mom, but Johnnydoesn¶t live here anymore. It¶s much like seeing lights on in a home but unable toget anyone to answer the door.

Okay, Johnny (reader), you have this booklet for a reason; it wasn¶t accidental.You, or possibly someone you personally know and love, your spouse maybe, issuffering with P.T.S.D. unnecessarily. H ELP IS AVAILABLE! However, to bestdeal with such a traumatic disorder the sufferer must attempt to reach out forhelp with someone they feel they can trust and open up to emotionally andspiritually; mutual understanding is vital. People can be taught how to cultivatesuch trust and rapport as a relationship is established in a much-needed egg shellenvironment; willingness will go a long way.

It¶s important that you understand the author of this work genuinely knowsthe subject matter being covered within these few pages. To review a book orarticle with the realization that the writer/researcher has traveled the path underreview well before writing about whatever subject under examination, I find

comforting. God forbid folks should write ignorantly of life¶s matters (yet many do). Therefore, here¶s a bit of information that may make you feel more ³athome.´ As much as I¶ve often wished otherwise, I¶ve suffered with P.T.S.D. forover thirty years. As a combat veteran in an infantry unit, I witnessed far morethan anyone should experience in such a brief period of time, horrific eventswrapped in death and napalm. Many of the images and events I encounteredhave haunted me for decades: they still do, but now they are by harnessedunderstanding and wisdom. I was wounded by an rocket-propelled grenade(R.P.G.) on my dad¶s birthday when a rocket made a direct hit on a friendstanding beside me. Excuse the graphics, but it¶s important that you get thispoint, that¶s why they call it ³post-traumatic.´

Ultimately, it is stress and trauma you don¶t have the luxury of appreciating(crazy huh?) until it¶s all over. Oftentimes it isn¶t recognized until years later andmay surface slowly or abruptly. The timing will vary with each individual¶scircumstances. For twenty years I blamed myself for my friend¶s death and as aresult of other operations my survivor¶s guilt chiseled out a gigantic crevicethrough the center of my heart and life; at times it was crippling emotionally andat times took a toll on those around me (collateral damage, I suppose).

For a better understanding of what P.T.S.D. is we need to examine it based onwhy it¶s called post-traumatic stress disorder. I covered a bit of my story;however, we need to broaden the scope of definition for more clarity.



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STRESS: Everyone experiences stress in their lives, especially in today¶s fast-paced

violent world. It can be stressful simply watching the daily national newsbroadcast. Our world is collectively raging toward a self-destructive future which

subconsciously imposes stress within the family and individual. Stress issomething no one desires to have but almost everyone is stricken with (to somedegree). Here is an official Webster¶s Dictionary definition of stress: A physical,chemical, or emotional factor that causes bodily or mental tension and may be afactor in disease causation. Heart attacks and other failures within the humanbody are attributed to stress. It sounds like stress is a ³bully´ to the body and tothe mental strength of the individual. After defining stress imagine such a factorin a person¶s life becoming traumatized. That¶s some heavy stuff« dangerous inmore ways than one!

As we¶ll examine later, there is a very spiritual side to dissecting P.T.S.D. and"when properly embraced" may bring better understanding and help in soothing

our restless spirit and lifestyle. If the spiritual equation is left out of any P.T.S.D.examination, the whole picture becomes somewhat cloudy and distorted becauseof the huge piece of our puzzle that¶s overlooked. This is one of the major reasonsso many fail to properly cope with and overcome this potentially deadly disorder.

Although the trauma comes before the stress factor in its identify (post-traumatic stress disorder) we need to begin by first examining stress so we canbetter understand that which is being traumatized.

TRAUMA:

The Greek origin of the word trauma actually means ³to wound or pierce.´The official Webster¶s definition is: A disordered psychic or behavioral state



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resulting from severe mental or emotional stress or physical injury: an injury(as a wound) to living tissue caused by an extrinsic agent.

It¶s vital that you understand my next statement ±W ounds leave scars! A scaris a constant reminder of the why and when of the event causing thewound/trauma. Know also that many, possibly most, wounds are not physical butmental/emotional; therefore, the scar is only seen within the woundedindividual¶s heart and life. At times it may become a psychological tennis match,knocking it away yet, at some point, having it come back; a seemingly never-ending cycle which may become threatening or dangerous if not addressedproperly. It can become a very trying and tiring process. Who might you know that seems to be in such a place? You maybe!

Now knowing the meaning of trauma (and stress) let¶s add to these otherevents or occurrences, month after month, which pressed into the mental state of someone struggling daily to stay alive in a foreign, possibly primitiveenvironment (remember Rat Hole?). With every explosion, with every death, withevery passing day, Johnny gets older and further from the sanity he once knew«Johnny has lost his innocence and every mental parameter he once embraced hasbeen challenged "to the max." Is the overall picture of P.T.S.D. becoming more

perceptible? There are still a couple of significant pieces missing from thisuncanny and jumbled portrait; let¶s add another piece to the puzzle.

POST:

As most people know, ³post´ means, after the fact. One the clinical termsmost of us have become familiar with by watching crime dramas on television ispost-mortem, meaning something that happened to someone after their death.Adding post to the traumatic stress and you arrive at only one conclusion« it¶s adisorder; something is not in order. Once extreme trauma has occurred thepotentially "death-blow" of what transpired is absorbed after the fact, thusbecoming post-traumatic Another meaning of post that we don¶t generally hearinjected when discussing P.T.S.D. is to affix to as if to make permanent.

The disorder aspect of exploring P.T.S.D. is much like your personal andunique DNA having an alien substance added to it causing the original DNA to bealtered. This alien substance lead to a personality trait or mood manifesting itself in a strange and unusual manner. If something is not mechanically proper in yourautomobile it may run fine for a while, possibly years; however, sooner or laterthere will be a malfunction of some type. The same with a computer or electronicdevice. As a writer (among other things) I spend a lot of time at my keyboard.Almost always I can tell from the slightest keystroke if something hascontaminated my computer. In some manner, somewhere within all those

gigabytes and graphics there is a disorder. At times a simple defragging (thecomputer type not the grenade type) will straighten everything out; at other timesit has meant unplugging everything, keyboard, monitor, speakers, mouse, etc.and taking it to some supposed gigabyte genius that I don¶t even know andtrusting him to electronically operate on ³my little baby.´ Then, after a week or soit¶s back home where I always freak out about putting all the cables back into theright place. I hate that! I know this all sounds elementary; however, it¶s a simpleway of explaining a complex issue. Another example: We used to play pin-ball



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machines back when they were more primitive and with the slightest touch or jarthey would ³tilt´ - completely shut down and black out.

A very simple explanation of post-traumatic stress disorder could go asfollows: Something that was never intended for the overall human compositionhas been added to it and now runs silently within its psychological circuitry, andthe human machine has no idea that the slightest nudge or pressure from outsideitself may cause it to tilt or shut down. It¶s not the fault of the machine, or in thiscase the person suffering; it¶s the fault of the alien or outside additive to theoriginal mental DNA of the individual. It¶s an easy formula to grasp as to how itgets started and the ingredients involved, however, the therapy and long termhealing may consist of multiple methods over an extended period of time.Although the change in Johnny is permanent (remember the scars?) there areways of dealing with it and becoming victorious over it. I¶ll give you a good, soundformula for coping and healing in the upcoming pages.

W HAT TO EXPECT & WHEN:

The surfacing of any symptoms of P.T.S.D. will likely vary from one person tothe next. There are several reasons for different levels of recognition andreaction. What type of environmental and cultural upbringing did the personhave in the early years? What was the age of the individual when the incident(s)occurred? Was there a degree of difficulty and stress in their life prior to thetraumatic experience? How long was the traumatizing event and how severe wasthe impression left behind (that alien factor added to the mental DNA)? Theanswer to some (if not all) of these questions will have to do with how theP.T.S.D. is first revealed within the individual¶s life and may have a lot to do withthe healing process once the issues begin to be addressed.

Although severely stressful at the time of impact and immediately thereafter,a traumatically challenging single encounter is almost always easier to deal withthan the long, drawn out, hostile and sub-human existence of month after monthof deadly conflict. War is savage and brings the human spirit closer to animalisticbehavior and moment-by-moment survival tactics than anything else on PlanetEarth. Finally, how was the person received after the alien factor was introduced?The receptivity and attitude of others can have significant influence in shapingaftercare and especially with the healing process. The period of readjustmentback into the normal circulation of society and family after the ground zero moment may vary depending on how those closest to the traumatized personrespond. The healing timeframe should have no set boundaries, it will take time.Understanding and communication are the major keys when dealing with

P.T.S.D. In general, there are no immediate remedies or quick fixes.

Personally, I had been home from Vietnam for more than fifteen years beforeI genuinely realized I suffered with P.T.S.D. One reason for such a lengthy periodbefore confrontation was my hiding out in an outlaw culture and staying high on



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drugs for five years, in and out of jail, living so hard I actually skipped a birthday somewhere in my twenties. I never faced reality and never let anyone inside my personal world. My friends felt I had a death-wish, but there was a bigger pictureregarding my life that I hadn¶t discovered yet; the future proved to be quite aneye-opener in many ways.

Part three of the evaluation: Once the trau mati c stressful encounter has ended and life has resu med under the basi c, hu m-dru m, day-to-day worl d of civilized so cietyJohnny will, for the most part, appear nor mal ; even Johnny thinks he·s fine and portrays all the ch aracter traits and emotions of co-wor kers, friends, and family. After several mont h s, maybe even a year, h is peers and h is inner cir cle of friends h ave al most for g otten Jo h nny·s trip to Rat Hole. During a casual trip to t h e store wit h friends during a 4t h of July h oli day Jo h nny h as a flas h back. As Jo h nny steps fro m t h eauto mobile to enter t h e store a ki d at a h ouse nearby sets off a series of h i gh

explosive firewor ks. Instantly Jo h nny returns to Rat Hole! Wit h a loo k of h orror,Jo h nny cries out wit h everyt h ing wit h in h i m« INCOMING, and beg ins s h oving h i mself under a veh i cle nearby.

Johnny's experience above is an example of what has come to be known as a"trigger." The P.T.S.D. sufferer seems perfectly normal right up until the momentsome unexpected disruption inserted into a casual scenario results in a flashingback to a former experience from the sufferer's past. Those unfamiliar withP.T.S.D. would certainly qualify such a response as "abnormal." Yet, to thesufferer of post-traumatic stress it is a justifiable reaction based on a traumatic

event/experience.Those around the P.T.S.D. victim may witness tell-tale signs which indicate

things aren¶t going well in the sufferer¶s life. Maybe they seem more distant thanusual, agitated for no reason, or they cry at unusual moments. In reality thingshave been chiseled onto their consciousness that were never intended to be there:people, scenes, thoughts, smells, even entire events or periods of time. Althoughtime has passed and the mental impressions seared upon the individual appear tohave lapsed into yesterday, the fact is that they are just beneath the surface of consciousness awaiting some trigger to bring them to the forefront of thoughtand reaction. Certainly time brings a greater degree of healing as life¶s activitiesare piled atop the stressful/traumatic events. Without understanding P.T.S.D. the

stress and hectic pace of future activities may serve as the very triggers that areattempting to be avoided. If tremendous pressure from the individual¶s lifestyleaccumulates psychologically/socially the mind¶s impulses may resort backward toa response imposed upon it under the past periods of stress/trauma; a type of flashback.





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dad. He said, ³My back yard looked like there had just been a tank battle.´ I neverlooked at him in the same manner after that day. I knew that he knew« we wereone« we were brothers-in-arms. From that day forward whenever we met, my heart saluted as a surge of patriotism pulsated throughout my body. GeorgePatton was my hero and he had served with him. Wow! Scenery may serve as atrigger.

Sudden flashes of light, automobile backfires or any sudden loud noises,various landscapes, foreign faces or dialects, specific odors and, at times,authority figures have the ability to trigger something within the mind of PTSDsufferers. It really depends on the traumatic environment and length of time inthat environment as to what may serve as a trigger in a specific individual. Thespecifics will vary from one personality to another. However, communication isthe second best thing (knowledge being the first) to getting the initial grip oncoping with and overcoming the struggle. As tough as it may seem to talk about itthat¶s exactly what you need to do. If your close-knit peers and family are awareof such trigger potentials in your life they will rally to help. They can¶t assist withthings they know nothing about. Communicate!

I¶ve always loved my southern heritage; even in Vietnam I stood out because Iwas from the South. Living in Tennessee for sixteen years after being in VietnamI was forever impressed with the Tennessee Mountains but there was oneparticular thing I had to deal with on an ongoing basis, however, they remindedme of the Central Highlands. As we often drove together to various destinationsthroughout the state my wife noticed times when I would become less talkativeand would stare into the beautiful mountains as if they were beckoning to me.They were! More than once I awakened in the Central Highlands and lookeddown from our perimeter to see the clouds; a breathtaking view I didn¶t want toforget. I explained everything to my wife and many times during those invasivemoments she would simply reach over and rub me on the shoulder; that was

enough. She understood because we communicated.Triggers will vary from individual to individual based on the trauma

environment and into the type of personality the stressful event(s) wereembedded. Anything that embodied the event or experience such as secondary smoke or neighboring smells/odors may be the initial step in pulling the trigger.Regarding a tragedy such as September 11, 2001 (known as 9/11 to Americans)any crashing, familiar sound, unexpected sighting of an emergency vehicle or aparticular uniform corresponding to that event, for example, could serve as a





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surface again under more extreme or prolonged trigger-type occurrences. Hereagain communication is the key factor in the over-coming process.

The alien, however, within the combat soldier is another story all-together.This alien resurrection will need a close-knit communication channel with whichto share and feel a sense of brotherhood, an inner circle of like minds collectively overcoming and re-grouping for life¶s next-day operations: to work, to keep anappointment, to travel, or spend some quality time with those you love, whatevertomorrow may bring.

Personally, I still walk my domestic perimeter at night making sure all thedoors are locked and taking a final look out the window before ³sack time.´ Morethan once we have traveled through mountains where trees are being cleared forsome industrial reason and I calmly look at my wife and tell her, "That looks likethere was a recent air strike." No coma, no breakdown or frantic screaming, just athought impressed deep within my mental corridors of long ago. An air strike wasawesome; how could I forget it.

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Exploring P.T.S.D. fianl draft