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Emotional Healing TheMissingLinkinHolis4cHealthCare

WithStevenHorne,authorofTheHeart’sKeytoHealth,HappinessandSuccess

A Pizza Story 

HowIgotinterestedinemo4onalhealing

My Introduction to Emotional Healing 

  “Evilworksindarkness,andthatwhichisindarknessinus,worksforevil;butnothingthatisbroughtintothelightcanbeevil,forallthingsaremadepureinthelight;therefore,whateverisbroughtintothelightisgoodandworksinusforgood.”

Dominant Views of Emotions 

Physical  Emo4onsaretheresultof

chemicalmessengerslikehormonesandneurotransmiOers

  ImbalancesareoPengene4c

  Drugs(orherbsandnutri4onalsupplements)whichalterthesechemicalswill“fix”emo4ons

Mental  Emo4onsareacrea4onof

themind

  Posi4vethinkingleadstoposi4vefeelings

  Ifyouarefeeling“bad”youneedtochangeyourthoughts

Decartes’ Error 

  Cogitoergosum(Ithink,thereforeIam)

  ThinkinghasbecomesupremeinWesternculture

  Ithasbecomesosupremethatmanypeoplethinkthatthinkingiseverything,i.e.,wecreateourlifesolelyfromourthoughts

  Thetruthisthatfeelingisjustasimportantasthinking

Your Real Motivations 

  Thinkaboutthethingsyouwantinlife:  Prosperity

  Goodrela4onships

  Health

  Success

  Whydoyouwantthesethings?

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Your Inner Motivation 

  Youwanttofeelgood!

  Thatis,youwantto:  Behappy  Loveandbeloved  Experiencejoyandsa4sfac4on  Havepeace

  Thismeansthatyourheart,notyourheadistherealmo4vatorinyourlife

  Andthisistrueforeveryone,nomaOerhow“logical”theymaybe!

As a Man Thinketh… 

  ThispassagefromtheOldTestamentisoPencitedtojus4fytheideathatwecreateourlifewithourthoughts(i.e.,ourhead)

  Itreallysays,“Ashe[aman]thinkethinhisheart,soishe.”

  Howdoestheheart“think”?

The Heart “Brain” 

  Hearttransplantrecipientshaveacquiredmemories,likesanddislikesandfeelingsforpeoplefromthedonorsoftheirnewhearts

  Thisprovesthatotherpartsofthebodyhavememoryandnotjustthebrain

  Italsoprovesthattheheart“thinks,”buttheheartthinksinfeelingsandimages,notwords

Our Three “Minds” 

  Thegutsarethe“brain”ofthephysicalworldandcontaineveryneurotransmiOerfoundinthemind

  Theheartisthe“brain”ofouremo4onalworld–itis60%nervecellsandhousesmemoriesjustlikethebrain

  So,it’snotjustourbrainthat“thinks”

Positive Thinking Model 

Thismodelsuggeststhateverythinginourlifearisesfromtheworldofthought.Thoughtscreatefeelingsandfeelingsmo4vateac4ons.

A Different View 

  Theemo4onalworldisaco‐equalpartnerwiththementalandemo4onalaspectsofournature

  Thoughtsaffectfeelings,butfeelingsaffectthoughts

  Thebodyaffectsfeelings,too,butfeelingsalsoaffectthebody

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The Three “Worlds”  of Our Existence 

Wearebeingswithathree‐foldnatureasrepresentedbythethree“chambers”of

ourbody.

Thesethreeworldshavebeencalledmanybymanynames:body,mindandspirit

doing,thinkingandbeingphysical,mentalandspiritual

child,parentandadultid,super‐egoandegobody,headandheart

Feelings are the Mind‐Body Connection 

  Wedonotactonthinkingalone,somethinghastomoveusemo4onallybeforewetakeac4on

  Likewise,thebodycommunicatesitswell‐being(orlackthereof)tousthroughfeelings,notwords

A New Look at the Heart 

  Theheartdoesn’tmechanically“pump”theblood

  Itgeneratesanelectromagne4cpulsethathelpscarrythebloodthroughoutthebody

  Thiselectromagne4cpulsebroadcastsawaveofenergyintotheenvironment

The Empathetic Heart 

  Heartcells“entrain”oneachother(whichmeanstheytrytosynchronizetheirbea4ngwiththeelectromagne4cpulsesofotherheartcells

  Thishappensbetweenpeople

  Wecallitempathyorcompassionwhentwopeople’sheartsmakeaconnec4on

Heart to Heart Communication 

  Wehaveothertermstodescribeheart‐to‐heartcommunica4on:  Beingintunewitheachother

  Beingonthesamewavelength

  Beinginthesamegroove

  Havingagoodvibewithsomeone

  Being“inlove”

Pain and Pleasure Are Teachers 

  Whilewelikepleasureanddislikepain,bothareimportantforourhealthandwell‐being

  Weneedpaintowarnuswhensomethingisinjuringthebody

  So,althoughitisunpleasantpainisnot“bad”or“evil”

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There Are No Negative Emotions 

  Likepain,theso‐called“nega4ve”emo4onsaremessagesthatsomethingis“wrong”

  Don’tconfusethemessageandthemessenger

  Thefactthatyouarefeelingapainfulemo4ondoesn’tmeansomethingiswrongwithYOU

Listening to Our Heart 

  Whenwechosetoacknowledgeandacceptafeeling,weare“listening”toourheart

  Whenwetrytodenyafeelingormakeitgoaway,wearenotlisteningtothewisdomofourheart

  Weneedtogivetheheart(andourbody)equalstatuswiththemind

What We’ve Heard Since Childhood 

  Don’tbeacry‐baby(i.e.,don’tbesad)

  Don’tbechicken(i.e.,don’tbeafraid)

  Don’tyoutakethattonewithme(i.e.,don’tbeangryorfrustrated)

  Wipethatstupidgrinoffyourface(i.e.,don’tevenbehappy)

  Inshort,we’vebeentoldourfeelingsdon’tmaOer,aren’timportantandshouldbesuppressed

Feelings Buried Alive Never Die 

  The4tleofthisbookbyCarolTrumansaysitclearly–feelingsthatareburiedandnotacknowledgeddonotgoaway

  Instead,theygetboOledupinsidecrea4ng“stuckenergy”inthebody

  ThingsinlifewilloPen“trigger”thisstuckenergyandcauseustobehaveinwaysthatmaymakeusfeelashamedorguiltyandtryevenhardertoburyourfeelings

How to Suppress Emotions 

  Allemo4onsexpressthemselvesinMOTION,thatisinmovementandvocaliza4onofthebody

  Toburyanemo4on,youhavetotenseyourmusclesandholdyourbreath

  Children’sbodiestendtoberelaxedandtheybreatheproperlyfromtheirdiaphragm

  Mostadultsareshallowbreathersandholdalotoftensionintheirbodies

Your “Damned” Emotions 

  Whenyoudamn(condemn)anemo4onyoufeel,youdamitupinside

  Thiscreatesareservoirofthatemo4onthatisbuiltupinside,longingforrelease

  Thelargerthereservoir,themoreafraidweareofexperiencingthatemo4on

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Venting Emotions 

  Thereisasecond“nega4ve”waywecandealwithourfeelings—ven4ng

  Expressinganemo4onisnot“ven4ng”

  Ven4ngisplacingtheresponsibilityforhowwefeelonotherpeople

  Thismeanswehaveplacedtheabilityforustofindhappinessoutsideofourselves

The Illusion 

  Whenweventouremo4onswearetryingtochangetheoutsideworldinordertotrytochangehowwefeel

  Webelievethatifotherpeopleandsitua4onsdonotchange,wecannotbehappy

  Thisisanillusionthatallowsustoavoidhavingtoconfrontourownfeelings

The Truth 

  Thetruthis,thathowwefeelismo4va4ngourchoicesinrela4onshipsandeveryotheraspectofourlives

  Therefore,inordertochangethecircumstancesofourlifewehavetochangehowwefeel

  Un4lwedo,wecon4nuetobeaOractedtothesamenega4vepaOernsinourchoices

Primary Emotional “Colors” 

  Red=Angeroraggression

  Blue=Grieforsadness

  Yellow=Fearoranxiety

  White=Emo4onalbalance,whichisequalaccesstoallemo4ons

The Three Choices 

  Therearethreethingswecandowithanyemo4on

  Wecan“suppress”it,whichmeansweavoidexpressingitandperhapsevendenythatwefeelit

  Wecan“vent”it,whichmeansmaketheoutsideworldresponsibleforwhatwefeel

  Wecanlistentoitandlearnhowtochangeourchoicessoweareguidedbacktohappiness

Three “Shadow” Emotions 

  Suppressingoneofouremo4onscausesourpersonalitytobe“colored”ablendoftheothertwoemo4ons

  Green=Depression,discouragementandjealousy

  Orange=Hardnessandinsensi4vity

  Purple=Compulsion,addic4onandrecklessness

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Destructive Anger 

Ven4ngAnger  Tryingtocontrolother

peoplethroughviolence,threatofviolence,beliOlingcomments,threats,in4mida4onormanipula4oninthebeliefthatifotherschangeyouwillbehappy

  Thisisafailuretoloveothers

SuppressingAnger  Allowingotherpeopleto

controlyoufortheirbenefit,inthebeliefthatifyougivethemwhattheywanttheywillloveyouandwanttodothingstomakeyouhappy

  Thisisfailuretoloveyourself

Constructive Anger 

  Isyourrightandpowertoprotectyourselffromphysicalharmandemo4onalabuse

  Isyourrightandpowertosay“No”tothingsthatdonotcontributetoyourphysical,mentaloremo4onalwell‐being

  Isthepowertocontrolyourownlife(will‐power)

Destructive Grief 

Ven4ngGrief  Ven4nggriefisengagingina

“pityparty”tryingtomakeotherpeoplefeelsorryforyousotheywillofferyousupportandsympathythinkingthiswill“fillup”theemp4nessinside

  Ven4nggriefismakingyourselfavic4moflife

SuppressingGrief  Suppressinggriefisdeciding

thatyoucannotriskopeningyourhearttoothersforfearofsufferingheartacheorloss,whichmakesyoucold,unsympathe4canduncaring

  Suppressinggriefpreventsyoufromexperiencingpleasureandcrea4ngcloserela4onships

Constructive Grief 

  Isacknowledgingyourlossesandallowingyourselftofeelthepainofthem

  Itallowsyouto“letgo”ofthingsyoulose,andopenuptoallownewthingstotaketheirplace

  Italsoallowsyoutobecompassionate,caringandempathe4cwithothers

Destructive Fear 

  Ven4ngfearmeansbeingafraidtomakeyourownchoicesinlifebecauseyoumightmakeamistake,soyousurrendercontrolofyourlifetovarious“experts”andauthorityfigures

  Ven4ngfearmakesyoua“sheep”–ablindfollower

SuppressingFear  Suppressingfearmeans

avoidingconfron4ngdifficultchoices,whichmakesyoubecomereckless,impulsiveandpronetoaddic4onsandcompulsions

  Suppressingfearcausesyoutoengageinself‐defea4ngandpoten4allyself‐destruc4vebehaviors

Constructive Fear 

  Meansyouacknowledgeyourfears,consideryourchoicesinyourlifeandmakethebestchoicepossible

  Itgivesyouthecouragetoactinthefaceofdifficultyanddanger

  Itcreatesself‐confidenceandself‐esteem.

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Practical Application 

  Weneedtofindourwaybacktoourheartandallowourhearttobecomeanequalpartnerwithourmindandbody

  Weneedtostarthonoringfeelings(inourselvesandothers)andnotmakepeoplefeelbadforhowtheyfeel

Awareness is the Key  

“Howlongwillittakemetosolvemyproblem?”thediscipleasked

“Notonesecondlongerthanittakesyoutounderstandit,”themasterreplied

What is Awareness? 

  Awarenessistheabilitywehavetoobservewithoutanalysis,judgmentorexplana4on

  Withawareness,itispossibletodetachfromyourownthoughts,feelingsandchoicesandobservethemobjec4vely

  Awarenessbringsunderstanding

Stopping the Monkey Chatter  

  Toreachastateofawarenessyouhavetolearnhowtostoptheflowofwordsinyourbrain

  Wordsarelabelsandlabelsarejudgments

  Youhavetobeabletoobserveandexperiencethingswithoutprejudice(pre‐judgment)

4 Steps to Finding Sacred Silence 

1.  Getthebodyrelaxedandcomfortable

2.  Breathedeeply

3.  Createasinglepointoffocusforthemind

4.  Taketheposi4onofapassiveobserver

Feeling your Feelings 

  Canonlybedoneinthepresentmoment

  Willhelpyoulearntoengageawarenessveryrapidly

  Willhelpyouunderstandyourselfandfindgreaterhappinessinyourlife

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How Do You Feel? 

  Isthemostimportantques4oninemo4onalhealingwork

  Emo4onalhealingisabouthelpingpeopleacknowledgeandaccepttheirfeelings

  Youcannotdothiswithanyemo4onyouhavenotfacedinsideyourself

Our “Story” 

  Ourmindlikestocreatea“story”aboutourselvesthatwecantelltoothers

  Thestoryhelpsdefineoursenseofselfandexplainourlifeexperiences

  Thestorycanalsobecomeawaytododgefeelingouremo4ons

Listen “Past” the Story 

  Whentryingtohelppeopleheal,listen“past”thestoryandtrytounderstandhowwhateverhappenedmadethemfeel

  Ask,“Andhowdidthatmakeyoufeel?”

  Feedbackthefeelingsyouareseeingandhearing

Thinking versus Feeling 

Thinking  Wordsandlabels

  Logicandreasoning

  Judgmentandanalysis

  Stories

  Involveswhat’sinyourhead

Feeling  Sensa4onsinthebody–

par4cularlyinthechestandbelly

  Vocaltonesandbodylanguage

  Aredifficulttoputintowords

  Involveswhat’sinyourheart

I Feel… 

1.  …likeyoudon’tcareaboutmeatall

2.  …veryhurtbywhatyousaid

3.  …sadandlonely

4.  …beatup

5.  …tense

6.  …likeyouareanidiot

7.  …likegivingup

8.  …nervous

9.  …pressureinmychest

10.  …alumpinmythroat

11.  …scaredoflife

12.  …thatIwillneverbeabletosucceed

I Feel… 

1.  …likeyoudon’tcareaboutmeatall(thinking)

2.  …veryhurtbywhatyousaid(feeling)

3.  …sadandlonely(feeling)

4.  …beatup(thinkingwithsomefeeling)

5.  …tense(feeling)

6.  …likeyouareanidiot(thinking)

7.  …likegivingup(thinking)

8.  …nervous(feeling)

9.  …pressureinmychest(feeling)

10.  …alumpinmythroat(feeling)

11.  …scaredoflife(feelingwithsomethinking)

12.  …thatIwillneverbeabletosucceed(thinking)

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Upcoming Emotional Healing Class 

  July28‐SessionOne:AngerandDepression

  August18–SessionTwo:GriefandHardness

  September1–SessionThree:FearandCompulsion

  September8–SessionFour:Prac4calTools

  Costis$147andincludesacopyoftheHeart’sKeybook

  Registeratwww.treelite.comorcall800‐416‐2887

Other Classes 

  FlowerEssenceClasswithIsadoraTavens  Sept13,Sept27,Oct4,Oct11

  WillbedoingaRayidIridologyclassthisfallorwinter

  Willbeofferingclassesandworkshopsaroundthecountry