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Ch6 revising, proofreading, and evaluating

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  1. 1. C6-1 HOMEHOME Click here to return to theClick here to return to the Power Point page.Power Point page.
  2. 2. C6-2 Chapter 6Chapter 6 REVISING,REVISING, PROOFREADING,PROOFREADING, AND EVALUATINGAND EVALUATING Business Communication: Process and Product, Mary Ellen Guffey, South-Western.
  3. 3. C6-3 Revising for clarity, conciseness,Revising for clarity, conciseness, and readabilityand readability Keep it simple.Keep it simple. Keep it conversational.Keep it conversational. Remove opening fillers.Remove opening fillers. Eliminate redundancies.Eliminate redundancies. Reduce compound prepositions.Reduce compound prepositions. Purge empty words.Purge empty words. Kick the noun habit.Kick the noun habit. Dump trite business phrases.Dump trite business phrases. Develop parallelism (balanced construction).Develop parallelism (balanced construction). Apply graphic highlighting.Apply graphic highlighting. Measure readability.Measure readability.
  4. 4. C6-4 Keep it simple.Keep it simple. Avoid indirect, pompous language.Avoid indirect, pompous language. Poor:Poor: It would not be inadvisable for you toIt would not be inadvisable for you to affix your signature at this point inaffix your signature at this point in time.time. Improved:Improved: You may sign now.You may sign now.
  5. 5. C6-5 Keep it conversational.Keep it conversational. Formal:Formal: Our Accounting Department takes thisOur Accounting Department takes this opportunity to inform you that we haveopportunity to inform you that we have credited your account for thecredited your account for the aforementioned sum.aforementioned sum. Conversational:Conversational: We're happy to credit your account forWe're happy to credit your account for $100.$100.
  6. 6. C6-6 Remove opening fillers.Remove opening fillers. Wordy:Wordy: There are four new menu itemsThere are four new menu items we must promote.we must promote. Improved:Improved: We must promote four new menuWe must promote four new menu items.items.
  7. 7. C6-7 Eliminate redundancies.Eliminate redundancies. collect togethercollect together contributing factorcontributing factor personal opinionpersonal opinion perfectly clearperfectly clear
  8. 8. C6-8 Reduce compound prepositions.Reduce compound prepositions. at such time, at which timeat such time, at which time whenwhen due to the fact that, inasmuch asdue to the fact that, inasmuch as becausebecause
  9. 9. C6-9 Purge empty words.Purge empty words. As for the field of athletic shoes, theAs for the field of athletic shoes, the degree of profits sagged.degree of profits sagged. This is to inform you that we have aThis is to inform you that we have a toll-free service line.toll-free service line. Not all students who are registered willNot all students who are registered will attend.attend.
  10. 10. C6-10 Purge empty words.Purge empty words. As for the field of athletic shoes, theAs for the field of athletic shoes, the degree of profits sagged.degree of profits sagged. This is to inform you that we have aThis is to inform you that we have a toll-free service line.toll-free service line. Not all students who are registered willNot all students who are registered will attend.attend. registered
  11. 11. C6-11 Kick the noun habit.Kick the noun habit. Wordy:Wordy: We must conduct an investigation of allWe must conduct an investigation of all parking violations before we can giveparking violations before we can give consideration to your fine.consideration to your fine. Improved:Improved: We must investigate all parkingWe must investigate all parking violations before we can consider yourviolations before we can consider your fine.fine.
  12. 12. C6-12 Dump trite "business" phrases.Dump trite "business" phrases. Wordy:Wordy: Pursuant to your request, enclosed pleasePursuant to your request, enclosed please find a job application.find a job application. Improved:Improved: As requested, we have enclosed a jobAs requested, we have enclosed a job application.application.
  13. 13. C6-13 Develop parallelismDevelop parallelism (balanced construction).(balanced construction). Not parallel:Not parallel: We can collect information, storeWe can collect information, store it, and later it can be updated.it, and later it can be updated. Parallel:Parallel: We can collect, store, and updateWe can collect, store, and update information.information.
  14. 14. C6-14 Apply graphic highlighting.Apply graphic highlighting. Letters, such asLetters, such as ((aa)) andand ((bb)) within the text.within the text. Numerals, likeNumerals, like 11,, 22, and, and 33, listed vertically., listed vertically. BulletsBullets Headings and print optionsHeadings and print options CAPITAL LETTERSCAPITAL LETTERS underscoresunderscores boldfaceboldface italicsitalics fontfont sizesize
  15. 15. C6-15 How many kinds of graphicHow many kinds of graphic highlighting do you see inhighlighting do you see in this presentation?this presentation? How do they improveHow do they improve readability?readability?
  16. 16. C6-16 Measure readability.Measure readability. Apply a readability test such asApply a readability test such as Gunning's Fog Index.Gunning's Fog Index.
  17. 17. C6-17 Applying the Fog Index toApplying the Fog Index to Determine ReadabilityDetermine Readability Select the passage.Select the passage. Count the total words.Count the total words. Count the sentences.Count the sentences. Find the average sentence length.Find the average sentence length. Count the number of long words.Count the number of long words. Find the percentage of long words.Find the percentage of long words. Add the results.Add the results. Multiply.Multiply.
  18. 18. C6-18 Select the passage.*Select the passage.* Choose a continuous passage of betweenChoose a continuous passage of between 100 and 130 words.100 and 130 words. *See the Sample Letter in frames C3-25 to C3-27.
  19. 19. C6-19 Count the total words.Count the total words. Count numbers, dates, and abbreviationsCount numbers, dates, and abbreviations separately.separately. Our letter sample has 110 words.Our letter sample has 110 words.
  20. 20. C6-20 Count the sentences.Count the sentences. Count all independent clauses separately.Count all independent clauses separately. For example,For example, He applied and he was hiredHe applied and he was hired counts as two sentences.counts as two sentences. Our sample has seven sentences, markedOur sample has seven sentences, marked with superscript numbers.with superscript numbers.
  21. 21. C6-21 Find the average sentence length.Find the average sentence length. Divide the total number of words byDivide the total number of words by the number of sentences.the number of sentences. 110/7 = 16 words110/7 = 16 words
  22. 22. C6-22 Count the number of long words.Count the number of long words. A word is long if it has three or more syllables.A word is long if it has three or more syllables. Exclude:Exclude: capitalized wordscapitalized words compound words formed from short wordscompound words formed from short words ((neverthelessnevertheless)) verbs made into three syllables by theverbs made into three syllables by the addition of -addition of -eded, or -, or -eses ((located, financeslocated, finances)) In our sample sentence the long words areIn our sample sentence the long words are underlined.underlined.
  23. 23. C6-23 Find the percentage of long words.Find the percentage of long words. Divide the number of long words byDivide the number of long words by the number of total words.the number of total words. 10/110 = .09 or 9 percent10/110 = .09 or 9 percent
  24. 24. C6-24 Add the results.Add the results. Add the average sentence length (16)Add the average sentence length (16) and the percentage of long words (9).and the percentage of long words (9). The result is 25.The result is 25.
  25. 25. C6-25 Multiply.Multiply. Multiply by 0.4Multiply by 0.4 25 x 0.4 = 1025 x 0.4 = 10 The reading level of this letter is 10.The reading level of this letter is 10.
  26. 26. C6-26 Sample LetterSample Letter
  27. 27. C6-27 Dear Mrs. Lawrence: 1 Yes, I can meet with you Thursday, April 3, at 10 a.m. to discuss possible ways to finance the purchase of a new home in San Diego. 2 Before we meet, though, you might like to consider two possible plans. Dear Mrs. Lawrence: 1 Yes, I can meet with you Thursday, April 3, at 10 a.m. to discuss possible ways to finance the purchase of a new home in San Diego. 2 Before we meet, though, you might like to consider two possible plans. Sample Letter
  28. 28. C6-28 3 The first plan finances your purchase with a swing loan, which has a fixed interest rate for a short period of time. 4 A second plan requires you to refinance your present residence. 5 We have located five programs from three different institutions that would do this. 6 Enclosed is a summary of these five plans. 3 The first plan finances your purchase with a swing loan, which has a fixed interest rate for a short period of time. 4 A second plan requires you to refinance your present residence. 5 We have located five programs from three different institutions that would do this. 6 Enclosed is a summary of these five plans. Sample Letter
  29. 29. C6-29 7 I look forward to seeing you Thursday to find a way for you to own a home in San Diego. Sincerely, 7 I look forward to seeing you Thursday to find a way for you to own a home in San Diego. Sincerely, Sample Letter
  30. 30. C6-30 The Complete 3-X-3 Writing ProcessThe Complete 3-X-3 Writing Process PHASE 1PHASE 1 AnalyzeAnalyze AnticipateAnticipate AdaptAdapt
  31. 31. C6-31 The Complete 3-X-3 Writing ProcessThe Complete 3-X-3 Writing Process PHASE 1PHASE 1 AnalyzeAnalyze AnticipateAnticipate AdaptAdapt PHASE 2PHASE 2 ResearchResearc