Wider window revised

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Wider Window by Raju Mandhyan

Ravi sat by his favorite window, looking out, staring at the branches of a large

tamarind tree. Sitting by the window and hearing the wind whistle through the branches

took away his mind from the pain and bitterness he felt whenever he thought of all the

scolding he’d been receiving from his mother lately. Scolding that oftentimes seemed

unnecessary. Reprimands for the silliest little things; things he never thought would deserve

the ire of anyone, least of all his mother.

His mother was taking a nap as she usually did every afternoon. Didee, his elder

sister, was out running some errands. He was enjoying the quiet and the solitude, balm to

his young aching heart. Their apartment was on the topmost floor of a 3-storey building.

The open windows allowed in the cool and breezy November air. He soon dozed off with his

chin on the windowsill.

“Ravi, Ravi, get up from there, will you!” “Look at you dozing off! Will you ever

learn to do something on your own, or do you always have to be prodded like an animal?

Run down and help your sister up with the groceries!” His mother’s irate yelling rudely

awakened him.

He dashed down the three flights of stairs to meet his sister who was carrying bags

of rice and other groceries. He threw two of the heaviest bags on his shoulder and trudged

up the stairs.

There were tears in his eyes from the sudden, uncalled for insults. His mother

seemed to pick on him all the time; he felt he could not do anything right. But his mother

had not always been that impatient and irritable. Three months ago after a major

operation, she came back looking like a different person – weak, her eyes sunken, her face

gaunt face. But it was not only her looks that had changed; something inside changed too.

Something inside her that screamed all the time. Maybe being stuck in bed gave her no

choice but to run most of the household affairs through her shrill commands.

He dumped the grocery bags on the table and sneaked away to his favorite spot by

the window. Mother, he realized had also been tough on Didee, but not as tough as she was

on him. He was the youngest. And this was his age to play, laugh, and have fun. His friends

played all day long, why couldn’t he?


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Many times he’d contemplated on running away from home. He thought, “A child

like me shouldn’t be burdened so much, a child like me should not have so many

restrictions.” More than anything, Ravi felt that a child like him should be treated with love

and kindness.

Lost in thought, he did not notice when Didee slowly walked up & stood behind him.

“What are you thinking about, Ravi?” asked Didee very gently. He’d almost forgotten

her presence behind him. He quickly wiped his face, turned around, and met the eyes of his

elder sister. Had she read his mind? Did she know that he wanted to run away?

“Oh! Nothing, I was just wondering if I should iron my school clothes now or later”

he lied.

“Let me iron them for you.” Didee offered gently.

“No, I’ll do them myself; Mother might get mad at you for babying me”

In the corner of the room he set up the ironing table and brought out his only white

school shirt. He turned the iron on very high, sprinkled his shirt with water, and started

pressing the back when he heard sounds of laughter from the street below. He shuffled over

to the window and saw his friends playing on the tree. They had lined up on a high branch,

taking turns swinging down to the lower branches, and then landing on the ground with a

big “Whoopee!” It was an amusing sight, and Ravi’s heart went out the window. His eyes

were glued to the scene below he smelled something burning. Before he could turn around,

he suddenly felt someone pinching his ear from behind & drawing him back to reality. It was

his mother.

“You have burned your only white shirt! How careless can you be? Now you will have

nothing to wear to school.” His mother glared at him. “Perhaps it’ll be much better if you

stop going to school altogether.”

The pressure on Ravi’s ear was killing him, and he could not think of anything

sensible to utter in his defense. The shirt and its ugly brown triangular hole mocked him and

told him he has done something utterly wrong.

That night, under the sheets, with tears rolling down his eyes, Ravi could not sleep.

He finally made us his mind--tomorrow he will go away forever. He slowly sneaked out of his

bed to pack his best shorts and shirt. From one of the shoeboxes, he pulled out an old

picture of him & Mother. He put the picture in his shirt pocket.


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Next morning he dressed up and walked towards the door. From the kitchen he

heard his Mother move about. There was also someone in the bathroom, must be Dad, he

thought. His heart was beating fast as he slowly and soundlessly started down the stairs.

He was halfway down when he heard his sister call “Where are you going, Ravi?”

He froze; his heart almost jumped out of his throat. He looked up, and his eyes met

those of his elder sister. He realized that his sister was surely a mind reader. At that very

instant, he knew that she knew. He stared at her for a long time, open mouthed, scared,

speechless. Her face turned soft, and her eyes seemed to mellow. Tears were welling up in

his eyes, but he blurted out “I’ll, I’ll be back soon!” Then he lunged down the last few steps

and ran out into the street.

Shivering & trying to suppress his tears, he had just cleared the first two blocks of

their neighborhood when he saw a silhouette running towards him. The silhouette advanced

with an awkward gait, moving fast and swaying from left to right.

Ravi slowed down and tried to make out the disjointed figure. It was a boy about his

age whose arms and legs were badly twisted, probably from a childhood polio affliction. The

boy came closer and was running towards something behind Ravi. As the boy came closer,

Ravi saw a face covered with tears, twisted in pain, crying out loud. It was as if someone

had given him a thrashing and he was running away from that someone.

Ravi was shocked, and he stood frozen on the spot.

He pondered how someone could have hurt this person when he already seemed to

be suffering so much. How much pain could the boy have suffered to make him want to run

and cry the way he was doing right now? How could his own pain and sorrow be anything

compared to what the boy was probably going through? The boy was crying & running as if

his life was at stake. And, what a life it must be! Twisted arms & legs, barely covered by

tattered, filthy clothes, a dirty face that must have cried many times before.

Ravi slowly looked at his own self. His clothes were clean; his legs were strong, not

oddly shaped. His arms were healthy and brown. His face, though a bit sore from crying,

felt smooth and nice to the touch of his hands.


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He walked to edge of the pavement and sat down. He pulled out the picture of him

and his mother and stared at it for a long time. In the picture, his mother was holding his

hand and smiling down at him with eyes soft and loving. He was looking up at her with

earnestness and with a large smile on his face.

The picture had been taken the same day that he and his mother had been to see

her doctor several months ago. He remembered only parts of the conversation between his

mother and her doctor. The good old Doctor Narayan was describing the after affects of a

major operation to his mother. He was telling her that after such an operation, she may or

may not live. If she lives, she will have to take drugs that can make a person physically and

spiritually weak. A person, he was telling her, also tends to become temperamental and

undergoes sudden and severe mood changes.

Ravi stared at the picture for a long time. Images of the polio-ridden boy running

and crying flashed in his mind. A tender tear rolled down his cheeks and fell upon the

picture. He slowly wiped the picture clean and put it back in his pocket.

When he finally stood up, the sky had turned a bright crispy blue and his

neighborhood seemed to take on a pleasant hue. He turned back towards home with his

head held high & his heart feeling much lighter. As he approached their building, he saw the

tamarind tree, its branches swinging welcoming him home. Under the tree stood his Mother

& Didee.

There seemed to be tears in his mother’s eyes. Didee was smiling and sobbing at the

same time. He ran straight into his mother’s arms, and Didee hugged them both from

behind.

Back at his window that evening, Ravi realized that he had learned something new.

He had learned that the beauty of an open sky must be appreciated from a wider

window, not a narrow one.

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Wider window revised