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EMOTIONAL RESTORATION RESTORING EMOTIONAL

BALANCE MATTHEW 6:14-15

MARK 11:25

THE FIVE LANGUAGES OF APOLOGYFIVE ELEMENTS OF APOLOGY 

Expressing Regret - "I am sorry"Accepting Responsibility - "I was

wrong"Making Restitution - "What can I do

to make it right?"Genuinely Repenting - "I'll try not to

do that again"Requesting Forgiveness - "Will you

please forgive me?"

LEARNING TO FORGIVE If the person who offended you does not come back to

apologize, then, according to Jesus, confront the offender. If he repents, forgive him.

 If the person does not apologize, release that person Don't allow the other person's refusal to apologize to keep

you from apologizing. Be willing to apologize and admit your failures, regardless

what the other person does.

SOMEONE WHO HAS BEEN HURT VERY DEEPLY OR OFTEN MAY NOT

BE EMOTIONALLY, SPIRITUALLY, OR PHYSICALLY ABLE TO GENUINELY

EXTEND FORGIVENESS RIGHT NOW. THEY MAY NEED TIME FOR

EMOTIONAL OR PHYSICAL HEALING TO BUILD THE CAPACITY TO

FORGIVE.

FORGIVENESS GIVES RENEWED LIFE TO RELATIONSHIPS.

UNFORGIVENESS CAUSES EXTENDED PAIN.

WHEN WE COMMIT ACTIONS OR SPEAK WORDS THAT ARE

DETRIMENTAL TO ANOTHER, THE CONSEQUENCES OF THOSE

ACTIONS AND WORDS ARE NEVER FULLY REMOVED, EVEN WITH

GENUINE FORGIVENESS. FORGIVENESS DOES NOT REMOVE

ALL PAINFUL EMOTIONS. NOR DOES IT REMOVE THE MEMORY OF

THE EVENT.

KEY INSIGHTS "When one's sense of right is violated, that

person will experience anger. He or she will feel wronged and resentful at the person who has violated their trust.

The wrongful act stands as a barrier between the two people, and the relationship is fractured. They cannot, even if they desired, live as though the wrong had not been committed. 

Something inside the offended calls for justice. It is these human realities that serve as the basis of all judicial systems.“

"Genuine forgiveness removes the barrier that was created by the offense and opens the door to restoring trust over time.“

"What most people are looking for in an apology is sincerity.“

"An apology has more impact when it's specific. Be specific about what you are sorry about. Demonstrate by language that you understand how and how much you have hurt the person.

DO NOT FOLLOW WITH, "BUT…"! "ANYTIME WE VERBALLY SHIFT

THE BLAME TO THE OTHER PERSON, WE HAVE MOVED FROM

AN APOLOGY TO AN ATTACK. ATTACKS NEVER LEAD TO

FORGIVENESS AND RECONCILIATION." "ANYTIME AN APOLOGY IS FOLLOWED BY AN

EXCUSE FOR THE OFFENSE, THE EXCUSE CANCELS OUT THE

APOLOGY

"DON'T DEMAND FORGIVENESS. YOU CANNOT EXPECT IT. WHEN WE DEMAND FORGIVENESS,

WE FAIL TO UNDERSTAND THE NATURE OF FORGIVENESS. FORGIVENESS IS ESSENTIALLY A CHOICE TO LIFT THE PENALTY AND TO LET

THE PERSON BACK INTO OUR LIVES." "FORGIVENESS IS ALWAYS TO BE REQUESTED

BUT NEVER DEMANDED." "…WHEN YOU REQUEST TO BE FORGIVEN, YOU ARE MAKING A

HUGE REQUEST. IT WILL BE COSTLY TO THE PERSON YOU HAVE OFFENDED. WHEN THEY FORGIVE YOU, THEY MUST GIVE UP THEIR

DESIRE FOR JUSTICE. THEY MUST RELINQUISH THEIR HURT AND ANGER, THEIR FEELING OF

EMBARRASSMENT OR HUMILIATION. THEY MUST GIVE UP THEIR FEELINGS OF REJECTION AND BETRAYAL. SOMETIMES, THEY MUST LIVE WITH THE CONSEQUENCES OF YOUR WRONG

BEHAVIOR."

FINAL THOUGHTS

"Forgiveness and trust are not to be equated. Because forgiveness is a decision, it can be extended immediately when one perceives he has heard a sincere apology.

However, trust is not a decision-it is rather an emotion. Trust is that gut-level confidence that you will do what you say

you will do." "Trust is that emotional sense that I can relax with you and don't have to be suspicious. I can let down my

emotional guard because you will not knowingly hurt me.“

"Forgiveness does not remove the memory of the event." "If we have chosen

to forgive, we take the memory to God along with the hurt feelings, acknowledge to Him what we are thinking and feeling,

but thank Him that by His grace the offense has been forgiven. Then we ask God for the power to do something kind

and loving for that person today. We choose to focus on the future and not

allow our minds to be obsessed with past failures that are now forgiven."

RECEIVE THAT WORD!!!!!