OVERCOMING SHYNESS &

INTIMIDATION

OVERCOMING SHYNESS & INTIMIDATIONPart 1 : Understanding Your Shyness Definition: Shyness is a state of being nervous or timid in the company of people.

1. Think about the root of your shyness:

Contd.Shyness doesn’t necessarily mean being an

introvert or not liking yourself. It means for some reason you get embarrassed

when the spotlight (attention) is on you.

Roots of Shyness

Shyness is generally symptoms of a larger problem;Weak Self-imageLack of belief in complementsPreoccupied with what people will say about your

performanceYou are labelled as shy by others

2. Accept your shyness

Contd.

The 1st step in overcoming a problem is accepting that you have a problem

Accept that you are shy & be comfortable with it

The more you resist it consciously or unconsciously, the longer it prevails

3. Figure out your triggersWhat or which situations triggers your shyness most. Do you become shy; In front of new audience? When learning a new skill? When venturing into a new situation? When surrounded by people you know & admire? When u don’t know anyone somewhere? Etc.

Definitely you do not feel shy in all situations. You may be okay around family & friends b’cos you know them better. So try hard to see strangers as family & friends

Meaning it may not be you who is shy but situations make u shy.

4. Make a list of situations that make you feel anxiousAnxiety is a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease about something with an uncertain outcome.

List them from the things that make you feel the least anxious to those that that cause you the most anxiety

Anxiety SituationsFor example, ‘talking in front of people’ may be a trigger but u can be more specific;Talking in front of those who have

authorityTalking to those u find attractiveTalking to those who are olderTalking to those who are more educated

than youTalking to ladies/guys, etc.

5. Conquer the listOnce the list is completed, start

working through them.Start dealing with the easy

situations to boost your confidence

Take it at your own pace, no rushTry a few times on each one even

if you are successful before you move to the next on the list

Don’t worry about the setbacks

Part 2: Conquering your mindAlways know that your are the ruler of your mind. Place your attention on others (esp. people you are familiar with)- Concentrate on compassion. Felling sympathetic or even empathetic helps boost your confidence Visualize success – Keep your focus on the crown, the praise &

recommendations Practice good posture – It has the tendency to boost your

confidence. Your body emulates your feeling. Research shows that good posture makes us feel authoritative, confident & reduces stress.

Practice speaking clearly to yourself – Loving hearing yourself or your own voice (eg. Record yourself). Practice makes habits

Don’t compare yourself to others – Develop your own self esteem Identify your social values & strengths and take advantage of

them. SWOT

Part 3: Conquering Social Situations1. Get informed –

- read wide & often- Ask questions- Know your environment

Contd.2. Think of conversations in stagesStage 1: Simple opening line, small talk at its finestStage 2: Introductions. Shd be self explanatoryStage 3: Find some common ground, a topic you can both discuss but pick your strengthsStage 4: Closing – summing up & exchanging information

Contd.3. Start the conversation

4. Look & act approachable - Keep your smiles visible- Have a friendly atitude- Keep your arms uncrossed- Be polite at all times

5. Smile & make eye contact

Part 4: Challenging YourselfSet goals for yourself - Focus on small, daily accomplishment - Gradually become more daringFind your comfortable zones – place,

topic, environment, etc.Practice placing yourself in the not-so-

comfortable zonesIntroduce yourself to one new person

each dayPut yourself out there