Building the Marriage God Wants You to Have

ByTerry L. Ledford, Ph.D.

2 Chronicles 7:14

• If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and heal their land.

Today’s New International Version

2 Chronicles 7:14

• If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and heal their land.

Today’s New International Version

2 Chronicles 7:14

• If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and heal their land.

Today’s New International Version

2 Chronicles 7:14

• If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and heal their land.

Today’s New International Version

2 Chronicles 7:14

• If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and heal their land.

Today’s New International Version

2 Chronicles 7:14

• If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and heal their land.

Today’s New International Version

Myths That Deceive Us We have been poisoned by fairy tales. Anais Nin

Our Fairy Tales

Myths That Deceive Us • Love conquers all.• When you find the right person,

everything will be wonderful forever.

• If you love me, you won’t want me to change.

• If you love me, you’ll know what I think, feel and what I need.

• And, they lived happily ever after.• Others?

• We have a picture of the perfect partner, but we marry an imperfect person. Then we have two options. Tear up the picture and accept the person, or tear up the person and accept the picture.

J. Grant Howard, Jr.

The Chemistry of Love

The Chemistry of Conflict

The Work of Marriage

The Work of Marriage

Review your relationship history

• Imagine your relationship in stages.Examples: dating period marriage before children after birth of first child your events etc.

• What was your emotional intimacy like during each stage.

When was your relationship the best?• Doesn’t have to be the same time

period.• What kind of activities did you do?• What behaviors did you do toward each

other?• What were the feelings you had for

each other?• How were your perceptions of the other

different at that time?• How did the relationship make you feel?

What did you do then?•Listening Sharing Feelings•Play Respect•Compliments Kindness•Gratitude Gestures•Time Importance•Touch Comfort•Acts of Kindness Mutual Purpose •Gifts Sexual Interest

Understanding the Other Gender

Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus by John Gray, Ph.D.

•1. Single vs multiple focus of attention•2. Relationships vs mission•3. Share vs. Fix a Problem•4. Crock Pot vs. Microwave•5. Main Course vs. Dessert

Marriage Makes Us Work On Our Stuff