Tips tools-for-helping-gifted-cope-with-trauma-sen ginar 2017

Tips & Tools for Helping Gifted Kids & Teens Cope with Trauma

Tools for Helping Gifted Children and Adults Overcome OE & Cope with TraumabySharon M. Barnes, MSSW, LCSWTherapist For Sensitive And Gifted

2015 Sharon M. Barnes, LCSW PLLC www.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.com Sharon M. Barnes, MSSW, LCSWTherapist For Sensitive and GiftedMSSW Masters of Science in Social Work, SDSULCSW Licensed Clinical Social Worker, Colorado USALocal Counseling/PsychotherapyOnline Distance ConsultationPresentations, PlayShops & RetreatsProfessional Development

Im here to help you:Release your CreativityHeal your PastTransform your PainBecome Fully AliveFind & Fulfill your True Purpose

2015 Sharon M. Barnes, LCSW PLLC www.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.com Housekeeping . . . Slides are available here:

Handouts are available here: www.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.com>Resources>CASIGY Toolbox>

2015 Sharon M. Barnes, LCSW PLLC www.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.com April 20,1999

2015 Sharon M. Barnes, LCSW PLLC www.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.com Why?4

What is Trauma?

2015 Sharon M. Barnes, LCSW PLLC www.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.com Trauma = exposure to life-threatening event or experienceVicarious = experienced through othersAnyone working with people in life-threatening situations is repeatedly exposed to vicarious traumaAnyone watching or hearing news stories of traumatic events can have vicarious traumatization CASIGYs are more vulnerable to this than are others who are less aware, sensitive, reactive. Psychological Trauma

2015 Sharon M. Barnes, LCSW PLLC www.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.com VT: Vicarious TraumatizationVT has Cumulative transformative effect upon the person living or working with survivors of traumatic life events (McCann & Pearlman, 1990)Trauma work has pervasive effects on ourMemory systemPsychological needsWorld viewIdentityAs a result of our exposure to the realities of trauma, we are changed

2015 Sharon M. Barnes, LCSW PLLC www.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.com Whos the MOSTImpacted by Trauma?Highly Sensitive People (Aron, 97)Depth of processingOverstimulated easilyEmotional sensitivitySensory sensitivity15 - 20% of the populationGifted PeopleIQ 130 (2-5% of the population)Many gifted people are highly sensitiveThe higher the IQ of sensitive, gifted people, the greater their sensitivity

2015 Sharon M. Barnes, LCSW PLLC www.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.com You might be a CASIGY!Are you (or your children) ~C - Creative, Complex, CuriousA - Acutely AwareS - Super-SensitiveI - Intense, often Introverted, and/or G - Gifted Y - You? someone You know?

2015 Sharon M. Barnes, LCSW PLLC www.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.com CASIGYsMore perceptive CNSMore reactive CNS

2015 Sharon M. Barnes, LCSW PLLC www.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.com

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Sensational Kids by Lucy Jane Miller, PhD, OTRCNS responses in children with Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD): 5 10 times AS MUCH response5-10 times AS FAST a responseDont have SPD? Consider this . . . . . What if you or your children have 2-3 times AS MUCH a CNS response or 2-3 times AS FAST a CNS response as Neurotypicals?Thats still significant!

2015 Sharon M. Barnes, LCSW PLLC www.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.com Seven Eight Signs of a Normal Response to TraumaHyperarousal / Startle ResponseConstriction of emotion / physical movementFreezing/immobility of thought or movementHypervigilance Intrusive memories/imagery/flashbacksDreaming of the traumatic event/disrupted sleepAppetite DisruptionMood swings (much more than usual)


Source: Jon Betlinski, MDChief Medical Officer, Cascadia Behavioral HealthcareAssistant Professor, Oregon Health & Science University

2015 Sharon M. Barnes, LCSW PLLC www.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.com How is Trauma Response Different in CASIGYs?Heightened perception of life-threatening situation = increased experience of TraumaFASTER Trauma ResponseIncreased INTENSITY of Trauma ResponseLONGER, MORE RECURRENT Trauma ResponseMore PERVASIVE Trauma Response


Overexcitabilities:Having a significantly FASTER or GREATER CNS response is overlaps with Overexcitabilities.Its important to remember that OE originates in our physiologyOE shows itself as Psychomotor, Sensual, Imaginational Intellectual and Emotional OE. OE will likely show up in our Trauma Responses.


Five Guiding Principles If You Feel it You can Heal it (Gray)Emotion is energy- when you block emotion, you block your own energyInstead of blocking or fighting the emotion, allow it to flow through youActing out emotion is a form of blocking it. Feel it; dont act it out. Feel it, then channel it constructively

2015 Sharon M. Barnes, LCSW PLLC www.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.com Five Guiding Principles In abnormal circumstances, abnormal feelings are NORMAL

2015 Sharon M. Barnes, LCSW PLLC www.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.com Five Guiding PrinciplesHealing from trauma is a natural processAllow the process to continue and it will complete itself. Block it, and you will stop or slow it down.

2015 Sharon M. Barnes, LCSW PLLC www.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.com Five Guiding PrinciplesEmotions are like ocean wavesFighting them dis-empowers youLearn to flow with them/ ride themRide it out when youre caught in the Washing Machine http://therapistforsensitiveandgifted.com/washing-machine/


Emotions are like Ocean Wavesnatural phenomenonenergydont ask permissionrespond to the weather, moon & earths movementOur 1st reaction is to When we fight them, Learn to READ themLearn to RIDE them

FIGHT THEMWE LOSE stay SAFEhave FUN2016 Sharon M. Barnes, LCSW, PLLC. www.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.com

Foundation Stone 4: Emotions are like Ocean Waves

2015 Sharon M. Barnes, LCSW PLLC www.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.com Back to nature Emotions Are Like Ocean WavesEver present Dont ask our permissionRespond to the weather, moon, earths movementCan be fun; may be dangerousLearn to respect them & you can be safeLearn to understand them & you can RIDE themDoesnt work well to FIGHT them

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Five Guiding Principals5. ABCs of Vicarious TraumatizationAwarenessOf ones own inner stateDreams, imaginations, associations, body sensations, conscious and preconscious materialOnes own needs, limits, emotions & resourcesRequires time, solitude & quiet for reflectionBalanceInternalLife activities: work, play, restConnectionTo ourselvesTo othersTo something larger than ourselves

2015 Sharon M. Barnes, LCSW PLLC www.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.com Phases of Trauma RecoveryEstablish SafetyRealization I survivedAssess & Mitigate Damage Second disaster/delayed emotional responseDisillusionment ReconstructionThis is often a year or more later


What is the most powerful, yet hidden tool that parents and teachers have that will help CASIGY kids and teens heal from Trauma? Modeling / Monkey-See, Monkey-DoIts the most natural way we all learnIt takes one to know oneYou can't lead someone where you are not willing or able to go The most powerful influence on the child is the unlived life of the parent/teacher (Jung)Implication: Use these tools for yourself FIRSTTHEN you can pass them along

Foundation Stone 3: Monkey-SeeMonkey-Do


Ten Toolsin-One


Source: Jon Betlinski, MDChief Medical Officer, Cascadia Behavioral HealthcareAssistant Professor, Oregon Health & Science University

2015 Sharon M. Barnes, LCSW PLLC www.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.com Trauma Tool #1FirstBestLastUse anywhereUse anytimeBREATHEwww.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted>Resources>CASIGY ToolBox>Relaxation Breathing Exercises

2015 Sharon M. Barnes, LCSW PLLC www.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.com Trauma Tool #2CopingTemporary Distraction (Watch TV, play with pet)Healthy Self-soothingBeware of default methods which are hurtful in the long run- overeating, over-using substances, over-spending, smoking, overworking, etc.Instead, Drink a glass of water, Take a Walk, Catch N Release, Eat an apple, Watch a comedy, Write 5 Gratitudes, etc. Make both above lists to use in a pinchOne list for yourself Another together with your teen or childKeep copies in relevant places.


Trauma Tool #3ContainmentWrite down or draw the distressing issue/memory/feeling and place the paper in an actual, physical container This then becomes a co-container for the emotion & energy Later , you take them out and face, feel & deal with themThis ACTION puts a temporary fence around overwhelming physical or emotional reactionsThis is NOT repression or suppression unless you leave them there and do not take them out to deal with them.

2015 Sharon M. Barnes, LCSW PLLC www.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.com 1. DONT FEEL!Don't feel sadDon't feel madDon't feel bad Don't feel too glad/happyDont feel ________

2016 Sharon M Barnes, MSSW, PLLC www.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.com


So We Stuff our EmotionsThe Result?


Emotional Volcanoes



Emotional Floods

2015 Sharon M. Barnes, LCSW PLLC www.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.com Have You Had This at Home or School?

Emotional Icebergs



Were Afraid the Dam will BURST


To save the dam, open a flueHOW? Release your emotions in small amountsoften

4. How can I Channel or Express this Wave of Emotion?


Emotions are like Ocean Wavesnatural phenomenonenergydont ask permissionrespond to the weather, moon & earths movementOur 1st reaction is to When we fight them, Learn to READ themLearn to RIDE them

FIGHT THEMWE LOSE stay SAFEhave FUN2016 Sharon M. Barnes, LCSW, PLLC. www.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.com

Foundation Stone 4: Emotions are like Ocean Waves

2015 Sharon M. Barnes, LCSW PLLC www.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.com Back to nature Emotions Are Like Ocean WavesEver present Dont ask our permissionRespond to the weather, moon, earths movementCan be fun; may be dangerousLearn to respect them & you can be safeLearn to understand them & you can RIDE themDoesnt work well to FIGHT them

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2016 Sharon M. Barnes, LCSW, PLLC. www.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.com

1. What's been happening?




3. What SIZE is this Wave of Emotion? How strong or fast is it?


GREEN Flag = Small waves = ALL CLEARYELLOW Flag = Medium waves = CAUTIONRED Flag = Big waves = DANGERBLACK Flag = Tsunami = GET OFF THE BEACHPURPLE Flag = Somethings in the water = BEWAREWhat Color Flag is flying on Your Inner Beach?2016 Sharon M. Barnes, LCSW, PLLC. www.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.com


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Trauma Tool #4: Catch & Release2016 Sharon M. Barnes, LCSW, PLLC. www.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.com

You have to CATCH IT



before you can RELEASE IT! Trauma Tool #4: Catch & Release



Lets DO it! Trauma Tool #4: Catch & Release

2015 Sharon M. Barnes, LCSW PLLC www.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.com Trauma Tool #5The healing process mirrors composting or manure transforming into fertilizer. Heres the recipe:Separate it set it apartStir it thoroughlyAllow the rain or snow to comeLet it sitRepeat #2,3 & 4 ad nauseum ad infinitumHow do you know then its transformed into fertilizer? When it no longer stinks ~

2015 Sharon M. Barnes, LCSW PLLC www.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.com 6 More Trauma ToolsTell the story over and over again in different ways (telling, writing, drawing, clay, Legos, etc.)Identify what physical sensations are being feltIdentify the emotion(s) that are being experienced If your child/teen cant identify the sensation(s) or emotion(s), you may guess for them/to themPhysical holding (if desired/tolerated)Massage, backrub, muscle rubsDraw, color, paint, non-verbally express the emotion and the stress

2015 Sharon M. Barnes, LCSW PLLC www.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.com Transforming TraumatizationAntidotes must address StressDemoralization/meaningHelplessness

2015 Sharon M. Barnes, LCSW PLLC www.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.com Transforming Traumatization:1. Address the StressSelf- Care (van der Kolk)Foster a sense of personal controlPursue personally meaningful tasksMake healthy lifestyle choices caffeine, nicotine, sugarvigorous exerciseDaily relaxationSocial supportSelf-NurturingEscape/BalancePatience/Perspective

2015 Sharon M. Barnes, LCSW PLLC www.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.com Transforming Traumatization:2. Transform the loss of meaningIdentify what this traumatic event means to you Infuse another current activity with meaningPractice mindful, intentional self-awareness, Restore spiritual awareness & alivenessIdentify & challenge negative beliefs & assumptions that have come as a result of trauma exposureBuild Community: find or make a safe place to debrief often, AKA share the emotional/spiritual/ mental/physical impact of the trauma

2015 Sharon M. Barnes, LCSW PLLC www.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.com Transforming Traumatization:3. Transform the HelplessnessSometimes it helps to become involved in an activity that responds positively to an issue (related to the trauma) that is important to the traumatized person.In the midst of so much we cannot do, what is one thing we CAN do?Dont just ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive and then go do it, because what the world needs is more people who have come alive. Thurman

2015 Sharon M. Barnes, LCSW PLLC www.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.com CASIGYs have a Mascot*Different*ridiculedexcludedshunnedshamedostracizedbanished into exile

SiggyRevisiting Meaning

2015 Sharon M. Barnes, LCSW PLLC www.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.com Revisiting Meaning

CASIGYS Cycle of Discouragement


2016 Sharon M. Barnes, LCSW, PLLC. www.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.comSomethings wrong with me

2015 Sharon M. Barnes, LCSW PLLC www.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.com listening to, and helping adults, teens and yes, even children who tell me how they feel like MisFits who dont belong. 52

2016 Sharon M. Barnes, LCSW, PLLC. www.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.comIm an Alien

2015 Sharon M. Barnes, LCSW PLLC www.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.com Many tell me they feel like aliens from a different planet. 53

ANTIDOTES TO DISCOURAGEMENT: Cycle of Encouragement


Who AM I?2016 Sharon M. Barnes, LCSW, PLLC. www.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.comFoundation Stone 2: Who am I & Where am I in this picture?


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CASIGYs Youre NOT Defective;

Youre Different by Design! 2016 Sharon M. Barnes, LCSW, PLLC. www.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.comA

6. What is the meaning or significance of this situation?

2015 Sharon M. Barnes, LCSW PLLC www.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.com Theres NOTHING WRONG with YOU!

You are not alone!

Instead of an Indictment of Inferiority or Inadequacy, Trauma is an Engraved Invitation to theHeros JourneyHeroines Journey

2015 Sharon M. Barnes, LCSW PLLC www.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.com The Trauma Survivor Hero & Heroines Journey


MY LIFES GONE UP IN SMOKE!


NOURISH THE (INNER) FIRE


2015 Sharon M. Barnes, LCSW PLLC www.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.com 2016 Sharon M. Barnes, LCSW, PLLC. www.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.com

2015 Sharon M. Barnes, LCSW PLLC www.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.com Dabrowskis Theory of Positive DisintegrationEmotions influence personality developmentIntelligence is not a sufficient condition for human developmentExperience of negative emotions is essential for advanced psychological development. Therefore the goal of therapy is not to eliminate negative emotionsWhen individuals are on the path of development, negative emotions are essential companionsNegative emotions may break apart lower levels of development and thus prepare us for higher levels of developmentTherefore having negative emotions may be a harbinger of further development

6. What is the meaning or significance of this situation? 2016 Sharon M. Barnes, LCSW, PLLC. www.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.com

2015 Sharon M. Barnes, LCSW PLLC www.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.com Jungs Depth Psychology: Most people can stay undeveloped psychically with no particularly negative consequences for themselves .They are unconscious and are perfectly happy being unconscious. They may give lots of other people trouble and pain, but they are not pained themselves because of their unconsciousness. However, some people [often CASIGYs] have a great NEED to develop to a deeper, higher, broader level.They develop symptoms that haunt them unless and until they become more and more conscious and more developed personally. Like those who MUST explore new physical territory , they MUST individuate. Tragically, they most often misinterpret the meaning of their symptoms, AKA neuroses.

6. What is the meaning or significance of this situation? 2016 Sharon M. Barnes, LCSW, PLLC. www.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.com


Something . . . comes to our aid from the depths of our unconscious nature. It is the task of the conscious mind to understand these hints. If this does not happen, the process of individuation will nevertheless continue. The only difference is that we become its victims and are dragged along by fate towards that inescapable goal which we might have reached walking upright, if only we had taken the trouble and been patient enough to understand in time the meaning of [that which crosses] our path. -Carl Jung2016 Sharon M. Barnes, LCSW, PLLC. www.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.com

6. What is the meaning or significance of this situation?

2015 Sharon M. Barnes, LCSW PLLC www.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.com Three Ways to Tell: When to Get Professional HelpWhen you, your child or teen has done all of this but is not getting reliefWhen your or they are not able to do these things and continue to be in distress When you see warning signs of troubleWarning SignsTrauma related symptoms continue or increaseYou or your child are unable to participate normally in home , work or school activities or relationshipsWhen you or your child are unable to take things out of containment and deal with themSuicidal thoughts, threats or attempts

2015 Sharon M. Barnes, LCSW PLLC www.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.com Sources Allen, Pat: Art is a Way of KnowingAron, Elaine, PhD: The Highly Sensitive PersonBadenoch, Bonnie: Being a Brain-Wise Therapist: A Practical Guide to Interpersonal NeurobiologyBarnes, Sharon:. Blog post: http://therapistforsensitiveandgifted.com/foggy-days-groggy-nights/Gray, John, If You Can Feel It, You Can Heal It. Hadamard, Jacques: The Psychology of Invention in the Mathematical FieldMcCann,Lisa & Pearlman, Laurie: Psychological Trauma and the Adult Survivor; Theory, Therapy and TransformationMcNiff, Shaun: Art Heals, How Creativity Cures the SoulPearlman, Laurie Anne & Saakvitne, Karen: Transforming the Pain, A Workbook on Vicarious TraumatizationPearlman, Laurie Anne & Saakvitne, Karen: Trauma and The TherapistPinkola-Estes, Clarissa, Women Who Run With the WolvesVan Dernoot Lipsky, Laura & Burk, Connie: Trauma StewardshipWood, Sam: Transforming Compassion Fatigue

2015 Sharon M. Barnes, LCSW PLLC www.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.com Your Turn . . . .What trauma have you experienced?How has Trauma impacted you?What one question would you like to ask your Wiser Self about transforming your Trauma Response? Jot these down briefly if you like

2015 Sharon M. Barnes, LCSW PLLC www.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.com The significant problems we have cannot be solved at the same level of thinking with which we developed them. We must learn to see the world anew - Albert Einstein Combinatory play seems to be the essential feature in productive thought- Albert Einstein We need new images if we are to change; images of other possibilities. Pat Allen: Art is a Way of KnowingCreative Handwork = making something the represents our pain Sharon BarnesContemplative Handwork = connecting our outer & inner eyes, ears & heart while contemplating our creation. Sharon BarnesExploring New Territory: Hands-on Learning

2015 Sharon M. Barnes, LCSW PLLC www.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.com 71

Creative Expression:Creative Handwork is any activity involving repetitive movements with the hands that induces or promotes a meditative state of mind. It includes mundane household tasks such as sweeping, mopping, raking, ironing, and also creative pursuits such as whittling, sanding, sewing, knitting, crocheting, writing, painting, drawing, sawing, you name it. Physical exercise involving repetitive motion can induce a similar mental state, but doesnt have the benefit of producing a tangible result. Benefits of Creative Handwork:

Induces alpha brain wavesIncreases creativity

Promotes healing of mind, body, soul and spirit

Increases endorphins which decreases physical & emotional pain

Increases self awareness and self development

Promotes soulfulness and spirituality

Increases life balance unless you overdo it

Becomes metaphors for learning life lessons

Bridges right and left brains

Bridges mind and body

Bridges conscious and non-conscious minds

Increases fun, joyfulness

Improves problem solving skills

Promotes a sense of humor

Increases perspective and ability to bounce back from mistakes

Good practice taking risks

Increases passion

Increases desire

Decreases blood pressure, heart rate, respiratory rate

Creates a container into which we can release our emotions

Increases energy

Contemplative HandworkTakes Creative Handwork to the next level: It involves approaching Creative Handwork with a meditative, reflective state of mind; listening with the inner ear and the heart while 1)doing the activity, and 2) observing it afterwards. It is akin to Jungs Active Imagination, Einsteins Combinatory Play & Allens Art as a Way of Knowing and Art as a Spiritual Path.

Creative Exploration IBypasses the inner censor/critic to access deeper awareness and higher creativityUtilizes Inductive ReasoningImproves problem-solving skillsIncreases imagination Imagination is more important than knowledge -EinsteinDoes not require unusual artistic ability or creativity


Tool: Creative HandworkMaking something with our hands that visually and symbolically represents the traumaIs practice for exploration in new territoryBridges mind, body, soul and spiritBridges conscious and unconscious mindPromotes soulfulness and spirituality It makes a container external to the body to hold this psychic energy We engage in a creative process We facilitate the flow of emotion and energy through us We are healed in body/mind/soul/spirit as we create Creative Exploration II


Creative Exploration IIITool: Contemplative HandworkAs we continue to work with our creation, it becomes transformed our EXPERIENCE and its MEANING in our lives become transformed.As we reflect, contemplate or meditate on what we have created, we are set free. (Estes & McNiff)


Creative Exploration IVBloom's Taxonomy: top levelAncient Wisdom-Chinese proverbTell me and I'll forgetShow me and I'll rememberInvolve me and I'll understandInvolves Five StepsConnectIdentifyCreateContemplateCrystallize


1. Connect

Connect Body, Mind, Soul, Spirit, SelfHow?Get ride of distractionsGather materialsSet a timerGet comfortableDo Belly Breathing

2015 Sharon M. Barnes, LCSW PLLC www.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.com 2. IdentifyIdentify one traumaHow are you feeling in relation to it body & emotions?How big/what kind/what color are the waves? What thoughts run through your head about all of this?Write it down; Set this aside

2015 Sharon M. Barnes, LCSW PLLC www.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.com 3. CreateThere is no right or wrong approach to useYou may use or alter any item any way you wishPay attention to what attracts you or jumps out at youPrepare with deep breathing & relaxationSee with third eye; listen with inner earProceed with action: make something that represents or symbolizes the feelings, emotions, image(s), sound(s) or idea(s) that you perceiveYou are the judge of what and when is enough


4. ContemplateStop, look & listenWhat colors, shapes & textures do you see?Give it a voice: What does it say to you?Activate Your Imagination:Have an imaginary conversation with your creationFocus this conversation on the current dilemmaFollow the conversation (in your imagination) wherever it leads you


5. CrystallizeWhat does this process show you about The impact of trauma on you? your life?yourself?What does this tell you about what you can do to transform your trauma?Make a record: write or draw what you have perceived.Share something from this if you like


Heaven And Earth2002Pamela & Randy CopusRiver Of Stars2000iTunes 10.6.1.72002Rays Of Light2002Pamela & Randy CopusRiver Of Stars2000iTunes 10.6.1.72002Heaven And Earth2002Pamela & Randy CopusRiver Of Stars2000iTunes 10.6.1.72002

Education

Tips tools-for-helping-gifted-cope-with-trauma-sen ginar 2017