Tips tools-for-helping-gifted-cope-with-trauma-cagt-2013

Gifted Therapy Denver

Academy of Creative Living

MisFit Magic

Tips & Tools for Helping

Gifted Kids & Teens

Cope with TraumaWritten and Presented by

Sharon M. Barnes, MSSW, LCSW

Creative Transformation Specialist

Phone: 303-997-0346

email to: [email protected]

www.GiftedTherapyDenver.com

mailto:[email protected]

http://www.giftedtherapydenver.com/



MisFit Magic

April 20,1999



MisFit Magic

Why Are Gifted Kids & Teens So

Affected by Trauma?

They’re CASIGYs!

• Creative, Complex, Curious

• Acutely Aware

• Super-Sensitive

• Intense

• Gifted

• You!



MisFit Magic

Creativity• Creativity is not necessarily artistic;

it has many faces:

– Do you have many ideas or see possibilities everywhere?

– Do you think outside the box?

– Is originality or uniqueness important to you?

– Do you invent things, or have ideas to do so?

– Does your life feel like a desert if you're not using &

expressing your creativity?

– Do you have many interests?

– Do you sometimes feel driven by your creativity?



MisFit Magic

Complexity• Do you have a rich inner life?

• Do you think quickly, often on several tracks at once?

• Do your own inner needs often conflict with each other?

• Do you often see through the over-simplicity of other

peoples’ thought processes?

• Are you aware of implications of things that others often

miss?

• Can you also sometimes over-complicate things?



MisFit Magic

Acute Awareness• Aware of, or notice things that other people miss

– Sights

– Sounds

– Sensations

• Aware of implications or ramifications of events

or situations that other people miss

• Quickly or easily over-burdened with sensory

overload or CNS over-stimulation, especially

those who are introverts



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Super-Sensitivity• Are you sensitive to light, sound, touch, textures?

• Do you have heightened senses:

sight, taste, touch, smell, hearing?

• Are you sometimes emotionally sensitive, too?

• Are you highly empathic or compassionate

(unless you're off balance internally)?

• Do you feel deeply the wounds of injustice and

human suffering—yours or others'?

• Do others sometimes tell you that you're TOO

sensitive?



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Intensity• Do you feel things more deeply than most?

• Are you deeply moved by music, art, nature?

• Does your body react strongly to everything?

• Do others tell you often that you over-react?

• Do you need a high level of stimulation?

• Do you also get over-stimulated easily?

• Does it seem that you have only two gears –

off and high speed ahead?



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Introversion• Do you need frequent solitude?

• Do people mistakenly think you’re shy?

• Do you have a few deep friendships?

• Do you do more listening than talking?

• Do you often have 'delayed intelligence'?

• Do your best ideas often come when you're alone?

• Do you get energized by solitary pursuits?

• Do you become deeply humiliated when you’ve made a mistake in public?

• Do you often get drained & exhausted by being around people & need solitude to recharge?



MisFit Magic

Giftedness• Are you a complex person?

• Do you think quickly, often on several tracks at once?

• Do you have a well developed but unusual sense of humor?

• Do you set very high standards for yourself?

• Do you have a pervasive, persistent curiosity?

• Do you have a high level of energy?

• Do you have a strong 'need to know' that's not easily

satisfied?

• Are honesty, integrity, authenticity very important to you-

more so than many people?

• Dr. Annemarie Roeper: “Giftedness is a greater awareness,

a greater sensitivity, and a greater ability to understand and

transform perceptions into intellectual and emotional

experience.”



MisFit Magic

Who do you know? . . . . You?

• C

• A

• S

• I

• G

• Y



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What is Psychological Trauma?

• Trauma = exposure to life-threatening event

or experience

– Vicarious = experienced through others

– Anyone watching or hearing news stories of traumatic

events can have vicarious traumatization

• CASIGYs are more vulnerable to this than

are others who are less

– Aware

– Sensitive

– Intense

– Intelligent



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Vicarious Traumatization

• VT has Cumulative transformative effect

upon the person working with survivors of

traumatic life events (McCann & Pearlman,

1990)

• Trauma Exposure has pervasive effects– Identity

– World view

– Psychological needs

– Memory system

• As a result of our exposure to the realities of

trauma, we are changed



MisFit Magic

Seven Signs of a Normal Response to

Trauma1. Hyperarousal / Startle Response

2. Constriction of emotion / physical movement

3. Freezing/immobility of thought or movement

4. Hypervigilance

5. Intrusive memories/imagery/flashbacks

6. Dreaming of the traumatic event/disrupted

sleep

7. Appetite Disruption

8. Mood swings



MisFit Magic

Tool #1• First

• Best

• Last

• Use anywhere

• Use anytime

BREATHE

Relaxation/De-escalation Breathing1. Put your tongue on roof of your mouth

2. Breathe out to a count of 8

3. Breathe in to a count of 4

4. Hold your breath for a count of 7

5. Repeat this cycle at least 4 times



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OK I’m Breathing, Now What?• Tell the story over and over again

• Identify what physical sensations are being felt

• Identify the emotion(s) that are being

experienced

• If the child/teen can’t identify the sensation(s) or

emotion(s), you guess for them

• Physical holding (if desired/tolerated)

• Massage, backrub, muscle rubs

• Draw, color, paint, non-verbally express the

emotion and stress



MisFit Magic

Guiding Principles 1. In abnormal circumstances, abnormal

feelings are normal

2. Extraordinary events call for extraordinary

responses on our part

3. When You Feel it, You can Heal it

1. Emotion is energy- you can’t block it without negative

consequences

2. Don’t block or fight the emotion; allow it to flow

through you

1. Acting out emotion is a form of blocking it.

2. Feel it; don’t act it out.

3. Feel it, channel it constructively

4. Feel it, then release it—let it go



MisFit Magic

More Guiding Principles

4. Healing from trauma is a natural process

1. allow the process to continue and it will complete

itself. Block it, and you will stop or slow it down.

2. The process mirrors composting or manure

transforming into fertilizer

5. Emotions are much like ocean waves

– Fighting them dis-empowers you

– Learn to flow with them/ ride them

– Ride it out when you’re caught in the “Washing

Machine”



MisFit Magic

More Guiding Principles6. Coping

– Healthy Self-soothing

• Beware of ‘default’ methods which are hurtful in the long

run- eating, substances, spending, smoking,

– Temporary Distraction

– Make a list together with your teen or child to use in a pinch

7. Containment– Puts a ‘temporary fence’ around overwhelming physical or

emotional reactions

– Is not repression or suppression

– Writing or drawing the “issue” and then putting the paper into

an actual physical container can help us contain our emotions

– Later , you take them out and face, feel & deal with them



MisFit Magic

ABC’s of VT• Awareness

– One’s own inner state

• Dreams, imaginations, associations, body sensations,

conscious and preconscious material

– One’s own needs, limits, emotions & resources

– Allowing this requires time, solitude & quiet for reflection

• Balance

– Internal

– Life activities: work, play, rest

• Connection

– To ourselves

– To others

– To something larger than ourselves



MisFit Magic

Transforming VT• Antidotes must address

– Stress

– Demoralization/lossof meaning

– Helplessness

• Help your child or teen to become involved in

an activity that responds positively to an issue

related to the trauma that is important to them.

• “Don’t just ask what the world needs. Ask what

makes you come alive and then go do it,

because what the world needs is more people

who have come alive.” Thurman



MisFit Magic

1. Address the Stress

• Self- Care (van der Kolk)

– Foster a sense of personal control (Serenity Prayer)

– Pursue personally meaningful tasks

– Make healthy lifestyle choices

• ↓caffeine, nicotine, sugar

• ↑moderate to vigorous exercise

• Daily relaxation

– Social support

• Self-Nurturing

• Escape/Balance

• Patience/Perspective



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2. Transform

the Loss of Meaning

1. Identify what this traumatic event means to you

2. Infuse another current activity with meaning

1. Practice intentional self-awareness

2. Restore spiritual awareness & aliveness

3. Identify & challenge negative beliefs &

assumptions that have come as a result of

trauma exposure

4. Build Community: find or make a safe place to

debrief often, AKA take time and share with

others the emotional/spiritual/physical impact of

the trauma



MisFit Magic

When to Refer to a Professional

• When your child or teen has done all of this

but is not getting relief

• When they are not able to do these things

and are in distress

• When you see warning signs of trouble

• Warning Signs

– Trauma related symptoms continue

– Unable to participate normally in home or school

activities or relationships

– Unable to take things out of “containment” and deal

with them



MisFit Magic

Bonus Tip• What is the most powerful, yet hidden tool that

parents and teachers have to help CASIGY kids and teens deal with trauma response?

• It’s the most natural way we all learn

• It takes one to know one

• You can't lead someone

– where you are not willing

– or able to go

• The most powerful influence on the child is the unlived life of the parent/teacher (Jung)

• Use these tools for yourself first, then pass them along to the CASIGY kids or teens you care about



MisFit Magic

Your Turn . . . .

• How has Trauma impacted you?

• What one thing would you like to ask

your Wiser Self about Transforming

your Trauma Response?

• Write these down if you like (this is for

you; you will not have to share them

unless you wish to)



MisFit Magic

• “The significant problems we have cannot be

solved at the same level of thinking with which we

developed them. We must learn to see the world

anew” - Albert Einstein

• “Combinatory play seems to be the essential

feature in productive thought”- Albert Einstein

• Synthesizing information, perceptions &

materials imaginatively & visually; later

finding words to express it

• “We need new images if we are to change; images

of other possibilities. ” Pat Allen: Art is a Way of

Knowing

Exploring New Territory: Hands-on Learning



MisFit Magic

Creative Handwork• Creative Handwork

• Is making something that expresses your deep

experience which is aching to be expressed but

has no words; only images

• Aids in discovering or recovering Creativity

• Aids in emotional & spiritual healing

• Is not about aesthetics, but is about expression of

the Soul

• Builds a bridge to your Unconscious, home of your

Still, Small Voice.

• For some is a creative, spiritual practice



MisFit Magic

Contemplative Handwork

• Contemplative Handwork • You see with the Third eye and listen with the Inner Ear,

• Deep inner wisdom comes back to you over that bridge

that you have built.

• As you work physically and/or imaginatively with these

images, the images transform, move and shift.

• This transforms your energy,

• This in turn moves and shifts your ideas and your

imagination about your life situation

• It can transform your image of who you are.

• It can also transform the meaning of the events or

experiences connected to the images



MisFit Magic

Creative Exploration

Making something with our hands that represents

the trauma we’ve experienced:

• Is practice for exploration in new territory

• Bridges mind and body and spirit

• Bridges “right’ and “left” brain/ uses the whole

brain

• Bridges conscious and conscious mind

• Promotes soulfulness and spirituality

• Helps us learn beyond “thinking”



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Creative Exploration II

• Bypasses the inner censor/critic to access

deeper awareness and higher creativity

• Utilizes Inductive Reasoning

• Improves problem-solving skills

• Increases imagination • “Imagination is more important than knowledge” -

Einstein

• Does not require unusual artistic ability or

creativity



MisFit Magic

Creative Exploration III

• Bloom's Taxonomy:

• Ancient Wisdom-

Chinese proverb• Tell me and I'll forget

• Show me and I'll

remember

• Involve me and I'll

understand

• Involves Three Steps• Create

• Contemplate

• Crystallize



MisFit Magic

I. Create

• There is no right or wrong approach to use

• Prepare with deep breathing & relaxation

• See with third eye; listen with inner ear

• Proceed with action: make something that

represents or symbolizes the image(s), sound(s)

or idea(s) that you perceive

• You are the judge of what and when is “right” or

“enough”



MisFit Magic

Let’s Do It!• Find where you wrote your question or notes

about your trauma or dilemma

• Get one or more blank card(s)

• Get one or more writing/drawing instrument(s)

• Using your non-dominant hand draw the first

image that comes to mind

• We’ll take a couple of minutes for this



MisFit Magic

II. Contemplate

• Stop, look & listen• What colors, shapes & textures do you see?

• Give it a voice: What does it say to you?

• Activate Your Imagination:

• Have an imaginary conversation with

your creation

• Focus this conversation on the trauma

(or a current dilemma, or whatever)

• Follow the conversation (in your

imagination) wherever it leads you



MisFit Magic

III. Crystallize

• What does this process show you

about • The impact of trauma exposure on

• you,

• your life,

• your Self?

• Does it speak to what you can do to

transform your trauma exposure?

• Make a record: write or draw what you

have perceived.



MisFit Magic

Coming Soon:

Different By Design! Webinar

Different By Design! Seven Weeks to

Explore in Depth ~ How You Can Find

the Magic in Being a CASIGY MisFit!

• Creative Coping Tools

• Creative Healing Tools

• Creative Transformation

• Creative Contribution

Details are on your “Feedback Page”



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Be sure to turn in your

“Feedback Page”

to be entered in the

drawing for a

FREE GIFT!



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Key Resources Used• McCann,Lisa & Pearlman, Laurie: Psychological Trauma and the Adult

Survivor; Theory, Therapy and Transformation

• Pearlman, Laurie Anne & Saakvitne, Karen: Transforming the Pain, A

Workbook on Vicarious Traumatization

• Pearlman, Laurie Anne & Saakvitne, Karen: Trauma and The Therapist

• Van Dernoot Lipsky, Laura & Burk, Connie: Trauma Stewardship

• Badenoch, Bonnie: Being a Brain-Wise Therapist: A Practical Guide to

Interpersonal Neurobiology

• Hadamard, Jacques: The Psychology of Invention in the Mathematical

Field

• McNiff, Shaun: Art Heals; How Creativity Cures the Soul

• Allen, Pat: Art is a Way of Knowing

• Barnes, Sharon: http://sharonmbarnes.wordpress.com. Blog post:

“Foggy Days and Groggy Nights” -11/9/2012

http://sharonmbarnes.wordpress.com/

Education

Tips tools-for-helping-gifted-cope-with-trauma-cagt-2013