LYNNE R. DORFMANAND

ROSE CAPPELLI

Success For All Writers with Mentor Texts

2012 PSU York Summer Institute

from Mentor Texts: Teaching Writing Through Children’s Literature

Mentor texts become our coaches and our partners as we bring the joy of writing to our students. They help students envision the kind of writer they can become; they help teachers move the whole writer,

rather than each individual piece of writing, forward. Writers can imitate the mentor text and continue to find new ways to grow.

Authority Lists

Lynne’s List:HorsesDogsHumpback WhalesPoetryCare of house

plantsLetter writing

Rose’s List:Playing the violinGolfMotherhoodGardeningBirdsTeaching children

how to read

Redefining a list for specificity: Horses

Grooming a horseCaring for the equipmentDressage movesJumps for a hunter courseDivisions of a horse showOpen jumpingOlympic competitionsEnglish vs. WesternJudging a horse showThoroughbred racing

Turn and Talk

How Do Authors Reveal Their Characters?

Physical description

The character’s actions

What the character says

What other characters say about him/her

How they change

Gestures to Enhance Memoir, Realistic Fiction, Personal Narratives, and Vignettes

From “Mrs. Buell” in Hey World, Here I Am! By Jean Little

In winter she wore the same sweater every day, a man’s gray one, too big, with the sleeves pushed up. They kept slipping down and she’d shove them back a million times a day. Yet she never rolled up the cuffs to make them shorter. (p. 44)

Her going had left a hole in my life. Because I knew, for the first time, that nothing was safe – not even the everyday, taken-for-granted background of my being. Like Mrs. Buell, pushing up her sweater sleeves and giving me my change. (p. 46)

From The Watsons Go to Birmingham – 1963 by Christopher Paul Curtis

Me and Joey cracked up. Byron kind of chuckled and Momma put her hand over her mouth. She did this whenever she was going to give a smile because she had a great big gap between her front teeth. If Momma thought something was funny, first you’d see her trying to hide the gap, then, if the smile got to be too strong, you’d see the gap for a hot second before momma’s hand would come up to cover it, then she’d crack up, too. (p. 4)

“And Mrs. Watson,” said Dad, “you can’t possibly deny that this is your child. You can tell this boy has got a ton of Sands blood in him, look at those ears!”Poor Byron. If he’d have known how far his ears stuck out to the side I bet he never would have gotten that butter!Momma put her hand over her mouth and said, “Lord, don’t blame that on my side of the family, someone switched this child at the hospital!” (p. 98)

Notebook Entries: Gesture Use

He touched his chin as thinking.

Little Johnny threw his hands in the air. “Daddy.”

He pressed his hair back with both hands. “My dad is going to kill me.”

She shoved her hands deep into her pockets and slouched, as if trying to hide.

She held her palm out to him. “Whatever.”

She stared at her feet. As if her fingers had a mind of their own, they played with her coat zipper.

In “The Irishman” by L. Dorfman

“What’s a tea cozy?” I whispered to April. I stole a quick glance. She was leaning slightly forward, her thin hair - the color of winter wheat - hanging limp and damp around her shoulders. She shrugged her shoulders – one small movement – and continued to sit still and silent on the crooked wooden chair. Perhaps she didn’t want to shift her weight on a fragile chair that was destined to be broken and discarded. But everything about April was understated. She was definitely my polar opposite, and I loved hanging out with her.

Reflection Questions

How did the description of character help your readers (peer response group/teacher) to visualize him or her?

How did your snapshot of the character help create a certain mood for the story or essay?

What strategies did you use to create a strong, clear description of the character?

How can you use “show, not tell” strategy here?

Where would you use this strategy again?

When I introduce leads to young writers, I ask them to think about fishing, to imagine the writer as an angler and the reader as a fish. Writers cast out their first line of words in hopes of hooking the reader and reeling him into the text.

Stephanie Harvey, Nonfiction Matters: Reading, Writing, and Research in Grades 3-8

It’s important that they [students] get a sense of the range of options available for writing an introduction.

Portalupi and Fletcher, Nonfiction Craft Lessons

The Importance of Introductions

…the ending is as important as the beginning. The ending is the part that will echo in the ear of the reader when he or she is finished.

Portalupi and Fletcher, Nonfiction Craft Lessons

Your ending should be made to stick! Etched in their minds and hearts. Unforgettable.

Frank Murphy, children’s author

The Importance of Endings

It was a hot summer afternoon that was perfect for relaxing in the sun. So I spread out a blanket in my backyard and lay down to catch some rays. I removed my shiny silver watch but carefully placed it on the blanket next to my head (I wanted to be sure not to stay out in the sun too long). Suddenly, I felt something dive-bomb my head while a flurry of feathers brushed my face. It was gone in a second, but so was my watch. What would a bird want with a watch, I wondered?

An anecdote from Rose’s Notebook…

Possible nonfiction topics:

How Birds Build Nests

How to Attract Birds

Nesting Materials

Once I went to my uncle’s house. All my cousins were there. They were lifting a canoe and there was a snake. It was black and had a yellow stripe down its back. Charlie got bit. We had fun except for Charlie.

Andrew, Grade 2

Possible topics:

Snakes

First aid for snake bites

Leads: A Great, First SentenceSome Additional Examples

Foreshadowing:If only Billy had known that he was tall enough to ride the “Rolling Thunder.” Why did

he always talk before he thought things out?

Short, Choppy Statement:No. No. I’ll never do that again!

Name Statement:I, Lyddie Jones, will never, ever take my younger brother to an amusement park with

mybest friends.

Thoughtshot:“Why am I afraid to tell my sister how I feel?” Billy thought to himself.

Personification:The old cars moaned and groaned as they were pulled up the wooden track by invisiblehands.

Creepy Statement:The track rose up like a dark spirit across the blue sky, turning my insides to

mush.

Weather:A soft rain spattered against the car windows as we drove down the New Jersey

Turnpike.But there was a ray of hope – poking between dark clouds with golden spokes.

Quote (what people say):My mother always said that Lyddie should have been born the boy. Lyddie, who

was alwaysdaring, courageous, and full of life.

Controversial Statement:Amusement parks! They should really be called torture chambers!

a circus on a rocket ship to Mars

camping near a river climbing a mountain

a ski vacation in Colorado arriving at Ellis Island

at the seashore sailing on the Titanic

a deserted island an apartment in Seattle

scuba diving near a coral reef at a holiday party

From Lilly’s Purple Plastic Purse by Kevin Henkes

Lilly ran and skipped and hopped all the way home,

she was so happy. And she really did want to be a

teacher when she grew up…

From Shortcut by Donald Crews

We walked home without a word. We didn’t tell

Bigmama. We didn’t tell Mama. We didn’t tell

anyone. We didn’t talk about what had happened for

a very long time. And we didn’t take the shortcut

again.

From Crab Moon by Ruth Horowitz

Slowly and grandly the crab pulled herself forward.

Stepping and pausing, Daniel’s feet felt their way

into the bay. He followed until she disappeared.

Then he gave the water one last, long look and

whispered to the horseshoe crab, “See you next

summer.”

Similes from Owl Moon by Jane Yolen

The trees stood still as giant statues.

Somewhere behind us a train whistle blew, long and low, like a sad, sad song.

And when their voices faded away it was as quiet as a dream.

…and the snow below it was whiter than the milk in a cereal bowl.

Then the owl pumped his great wings and lifted off the branch like a shadow without sound.

Blank, Blank, Blanking Craft

1. Invite writers to search their stories for sentences that have a verb in it.

2. Brainstorm a list such as run, write, love, sneeze, read, dance, swim, dream, ski, trudge

 3. Ask students to rewrite the sentence using _____,

_____, ____ing.  *Sometimes, your writers will choose to replace their

verb for a stronger one first.

Verbs that have more than one syllable can be altered to make it sound more fun and more rhythmic.

For example the word “tackle” could be reconstructed to read: “I was tack, tack, tackling the running back all day long!”

Rationale for Use

It adds song and poetry to any piece.

It also adds emphasis.

Think about a sentence that reads: “I was missing my mom while at camp.”

Revise to read: “I was miss, miss, missing my mom while at camp.”

From Love That Dog by Sharon Creech

Some of the tiger sounds are still in my ears like drums beat-beat-beating. p.9

My brain was pop-pop-poppingwhen I was looking at those poems. p. 35

We think maybe you did because you were smile-smile-smiling all over the place. p. 82 

Examples from Notebooks

I opened the huge box, and a yellow lab jumped out. All Christmas day I was love, love, loving my new puppy.

We dash, dash, dashed across the yard on our new bikes.

I laugh, laugh, laughed until my face was wet with tears.

Mr. Smith was teach, teach, teaching us about subtraction all week!

My grandfather remembers long agoThe coal mining town of Freeland, Pennsylvania.He remembers the blackness of his father’s hands and face.He remembers his mother waiting, waiting for the husband who never returned, buried with a dozen other miners…trapped.

He remembers waiting for the news.No one would be coming home today, or the next day, or the day after that – not ever.He remembers his mothers sobs and then it was finished.

He remembers selling supplies to miners on Saturdays and even Sundays.There would be food on the table over prayer.

Grandfather by Lynne Dorfman

“Easter in March –It will be cold!”I think to myselfas I envision Annie’s Easter outfitin my head.A coat will be just right.

I find the perfect fabric –a twill of royal bluewith a soft silk blend for the lining.Slowly, the coat takes shapeas the fabric glides effortlessly through my sewing machine.The finished product fits her perfectly!

The Coat by Rose Cappelli

Easter morning dawnssunny, clear –and hot!A sultry eighty-five degrees!Much too hot for a three-year-old in a coat.As I approach she gives me ayou’ve-got-to-be-kidding look.But before she can protest,we line up to take a picture.Click! The coat will live on.

A poem engages the reader in a whirlwind of sounds, emotions, and wonderings.

Poetry blends emotions with appeal to the senses and an acquired wisdom about the world and how things work.

Reading poems aloud helps students make reading/writing connections.

Poetry improves vocabulary and fluency, deepens comprehension, and enhances thinking skills.

Why Poetry?

Poetry helps students make personal connections to their lives.

Poetry can be used effectively for both small and whole group instruction.

Poetry can be used at any time of the day and across the curriculum.

When we write, we become visible, we are players in the game of life.

From Don Murray…

things I don’t know things I don’t do noisy things quiet things scary things things that drive me crazy

Some Ideas for List Poems

things I can’t understand spring things things that melt my heart things that are happening in the world

at this very minute childhood games and/or toys things I like to eat things I don’t like to eat

Fluency – phrasingSight vocabulary developmentPhonemic awarenessDecoding strategies – word familiesVocabulary developmentVisualization and inferencesSynthesis of ideas – drawing conclusions

SignsPossibilities for Reading Connections

Scaffold (Noun-Verb, Main Idea)

Conventions

Word choice

Alliteration

SignsPossibilities for Writing Connections

Red squirrels packingHound dog trackingLeaf fires cracklingFarmers stacking

Chill wind teasingKitten half-sneezingRadiator wheezingPond water freezing

From Snowsong Whistling by Karen E. Lotz

Swooping bats,hissing cats…

Trick or treat –Pounding feet

Clacking bones,muffled moans…

From Pumpkin Eye by Denise Fleming

Spring

Tulips blooming,Dogwoods budding,Daffodils glowing -Spring is beautiful!

My Busy Garden

Nesting bluebirds,Chirping chickadees,Hovering hummingbirds-My busy garden!

Some samples from Rose’s Notebook…

Ice skatesSharp, sturdy, fleece-lined

Relative of rollerblades and ballet slippersWho love children, leaps and twirls, and figure eightsWho fear falling, getting dull, and growing too small

Who need to be laced up tight, sharpened, and polishedWho give fun on ice to both young and old

Who like to see children passing pucks, dancing, and racing

Resident of snowy lands everywhereMetal artist

Ice Skatesby Mickeelah P., Grade 5

Poetry will breathe life into all writing if we honor it with our voices and time.

-Lester Laminack

from Mentor Texts: Teaching Writing Through Children’s Literature

Mentor texts serve to show, not just tell, students how to write well. They, along with the teacher, provide wonderful examples that help students grow into successful writers through supportive partnerships.