Privacy Management

When and when not to say what is on your mind

Why do we value our privacy?

CPMCommunication Privacy Management Theory

How individuals maintain privacy by setting up

boundary structures to control the risks inherent

in disclosing private information.

Boundary Structures

0Boundary structures are based on two elements:0 Ownership: who has the right to control the information0 Permeability: rules govern who can access the information

that we own

How do we determine what information we disclose to others?0 Culture0 Personality0 The Relationship0 Sex/Gender0 Needs/Motivation

1 Minute Writing:

List the general topics you believe most people keep private

0State of the Relationship0Conflict Issues0Negative Experiences / Failures0Romantic Relationship Experiences (Exes)0Sexual Experiences0Friendships and Family Members0Dangerous Behaviors (drinking, drugs)0Everyday Activities 0Money0Deep Conversations0Religion

What happens when our privacy is violated?

Responses to Privacy Violations

Verbal assertion: communicating in a direct and cooperative manner telling the invader not to do it again asking the invader to respect one’s privacy in the

future

Passive Aggression and Retaliation: trying to retaliate against a person through behaviors such as: making the person feel guilty getting revenge by violating their privacy

Tempered Tolerance: outwardly accepting the privacy violation through responses such as:

grinning and bearing it acting like the incident never happened

Boundary Restructuration: adjusting public boundaries to prevent future privacy violations

putting a lock on a drawer going into another room when talking on the phone

Responses to Privacy Violations

Get into Four Groups0Using the four responses to privacy violations, come

up with two scenarios:0 When your response may be appropriate0 When it would be in appropriate

0Act out a scene for each one.0Group A - Verbal Assertion0Group B - Passive Aggression 0Groups C - Tempered Tolerance0Group D - Boundary Restructuration

Obsessive Relational Intrusion (ORI)

0ORI occurs when someone uses intrusive tactics to try to get closer to someone else.

0Common ORI situations involve unrequited love between:0 Friends0 Exs0 Acquaintances

What does ORI look like?

Obsessive Relational Intrusion

• Common Forms: • Calling and arguing, • Calling and hanging up, • Repeatedly asking for another chance, • Watching from a distance, • Making exaggerated claims of affection

• Severe Forms: • Invading one’s home,• Damaging property, • Causing physical harm

• Problem: The “Playing-Hard-To-Get” Phenomenon.

Why do people engage in ORI?

Four Reasons for Continued Pursuit

cultural scripts the ambiguity of communication rumination a shift in motivation

Responses to ORI

0Passive: waiting for the pursuer to tire of you, lose interest, or give up

0Avoidant: not answering phone calls and staying away from the pursuer

0Aggressive: being mean or rude, threatening to harm the pursuer if she or he doesn’t leave you alone

0 Integrative: communicating disinterest directly, negotiating relationship rules and boundaries

0 Help Seeking: asking others for assistance in preventing ORI behavior

Responses to ORI0Passive0Avoidant0Aggressive0 Integrative 0Help Seeking

0Which response strategy is the most effective?0Which response strategy is the least effective?