Elizabeth Kenney…

This is Your Life!!!!

With some additional commentary provided

Born Elizabeth Jane ShortOn March 11th, 1945

The oldest of the Short football team…

As she grew older,

Elizabeth assumed a number

of different names to different people:

Elizabeth Jane” to

someJust as long as she didn’t use the upstairs bathroom. THAT was reserved for company.

And JFK, if he ever stopped by

Or the Pope could use it

Oh yes--and Gene

(Not necessarily in that order)

“Elizabeth”to

othersOr when on the phone:“Elizabeth…(long pause)…Mother”

Or even“Lizzie” to this man…

Prisoner3456789

As she grew older,

Betty’s life was filled with the joys of a frivolous and

carefree childhood.She would

cast away her days engaged

in such fun activities like:(Try to notice the distinct Short feature in the picture)

1. Delivering papers.

2. Babysitting for free

3. Changing her brother’s diapers:

And her sister’s diaperAnd her other

brother’s diapers

And her other sister’s diapers

And her other brother’s

And her other sister’s

And so on…

And so on…

And on…

And on…

Later on, Betty entered high school as a

bright woman with a great

sense of style.

Here Betty sports a lovely ensemble sporting the “I-Have-Routes-To-Do-And-It-Is-Dark-When-I-Get-Up” look.

In school, Betty grappled with the important questions that confront all good Catholic school students. Such as:

• Why are there no “things” in biology?•How many “Hail Mary’s” do I have to say if I think I killed Charlie before I left for school?

•If I bring one banana in my purse to church and Peggy brings two, how many bananas do we need to wake up Tom when he falls asleep during the sermon?

•Do Nun’s wear underwear?•When we walk to the front pew on Sunday after delivering papers, why do people look at us sadly and offer us money on their way out?

As Elizabeth grew older, she became a beautiful woman with an active social life.

She went to

proms…

Went toMilitary balls…

And fell in love with…

This rebellious “cowboy” actually led the exciting life as a math major. He and his other “hoodlums” could be found daily at the local Mister Donut drinking coffee late into the early hours of the afternoon talking about math, math theory, and the properties of math, all the while mocking those who still do not understand how the derivative of 4x is 4.

He and his buddies grappled with the tough questions like:

What was the name of Gene Autry’s horse?

What was the Lone Ranger’s real name?

And if Annette the Mousketeer were to walk into Mr. Donut, which of them would she date?

But fall in love she

did. Soon, the two of

them were

engaged and

married.

Her wedding day was

one of the happiest of

her life.Here, Betty shares a warm moment with her father as he asks if Gene can pick up some tires on the way to the church.

He also wanted to know if Franc could come on their honeymoon.

Here is the happy

couple as they march down the

aisle…Gene thinks to himself: “Wait until I tell the guys at Mr. Donut about THIS!”