Wisdom in Being a Good Spouse
Introduction
• Proverbs is a guide from God on how to live life to its fullest potential– Avoiding mistakes and their consequences
• In our last lesson we saw that it includes wisdom in selecting a spouse– Now we will turn to wisdom in being a good
spouse
Why be a good spouse?
• How enjoyable life is often is greatly dependent on how successful our marriage relationship is
• How well we can serve the Lord is affected by our marriage relationship – 1 Pet 3:7
• Proverbs addresses wives and husbands separately on how to be a good spouse– Each has their own roles and functions– Let’s start with wives
How to be a Good Wife
• Prov 31:10-31 – The Ideal Wife– Is trustworthy and dependable – 31:11
• Husband can entrust her with “his” income. Etc
• She doesn’t waste what is entrusted to her, but uses it for the benefit of them both
– Is filled with an enduring love – 31:12• Devoted to doing good for her husband for her
entire life
– Develops practical skills • Such as sewing – 31:13, 21-22
• And cooking – 31:14-15
How to be a Good Wife
• Prov 31:10-31 – The Ideal Wife– Is industrious – 31:16-19, 24
• Answers the question of a working mother– She bought and sold land– She made and sold clothing
• The question isn’t, can a wife/mother work?
• But can she do her work without neglecting other responsibilities as wife and mother?
– 1 Tim 5:14; Titus 2:4-5– Some women can, others can’t– Some jobs can, others can’t– Some periods can, others can’t
How to be a Good Wife
• Prov 31:10-31 – The Ideal Wife– Is compassionate and charitable – 31:20
• Cares for the less fortunate, as well as her family
– Develops a strong character – 31:25• Just as Peter said – 1 Pet 3:3-4
– Speaks with wisdom and kindness – 31:26• Considers what she says and how she says it
• Just as we all should – Eph 4:29
How to be a Good Wife
• Prov 31:10-31 – The Ideal Wife– Sees to the needs of her family – 31:27
• Makes preparation and sacrifice – 31:15, 18
– Is one who fears the Lord – 31:29-30
• Now that we see what a good wife should be– Let’s take a brief look at what she should not be
What a Wife should NOT be
• Contentious, argumentative – Prov 21:9, 19
• Hateful – Prov 30:21-23
• Both attitudes will drive the husband away rather than drawing them closer together
• Now let’s move on to husbands
“The Virtuous Man”
• Some women feel the wife is given an ideal in Prov 31 that is hard to live up to– They complain there is no “virtuous man”
passage
• But recall, Proverbs is addressed to a son – 1:8– The book is to prepare a boy to be a man– 30 ½ chapters describe “the virtuous man”– The “virtuous woman” only gets ½ chapter at
the end• And even that ½ chapter advises the man as well
How to be a Good Husband
• Prov 31:31– Let your wife develop her own abilities
• Let her have the benefits of her labor
• Don’t think of her as an extension of self
• Prov 31:28-29– Be sure to praise her often– Don’t take her for granted
• Prov 31:11– Demonstrate trust in her
• Her faithfulness, her intelligence, her abilities
• No room for jealousy, envy, or suspicion
How to be a Good Husband
• Prov 5:15-21– Be content with your wife’s love– Let your desire be for her only
• Don’t be imagining life with others– That will lead to problems– Matt 5:27-30
• Some say, “There’s no harm in looking”– But the truth is there is great harm in looking
• Prov 11:29– Build a good family relationship or there will be
nothing in the end
Conclusion
• Eccl 9:9– The best you can have in THIS life is to enjoy life
with the woman you love
• So Proverbs – Can help you choose a good mate– Can help you be a good mate– And next we’ll look at what it says about raising
and providing for a family