Wisdom in Being a Good Spouse

Introduction

• Proverbs is a guide from God on how to live life to its fullest potential– Avoiding mistakes and their consequences

• In our last lesson we saw that it includes wisdom in selecting a spouse– Now we will turn to wisdom in being a good

spouse

Why be a good spouse?

• How enjoyable life is often is greatly dependent on how successful our marriage relationship is

• How well we can serve the Lord is affected by our marriage relationship – 1 Pet 3:7

• Proverbs addresses wives and husbands separately on how to be a good spouse– Each has their own roles and functions– Let’s start with wives

How to be a Good Wife

• Prov 31:10-31 – The Ideal Wife– Is trustworthy and dependable – 31:11

• Husband can entrust her with “his” income. Etc

• She doesn’t waste what is entrusted to her, but uses it for the benefit of them both

– Is filled with an enduring love – 31:12• Devoted to doing good for her husband for her

entire life

– Develops practical skills • Such as sewing – 31:13, 21-22

• And cooking – 31:14-15

How to be a Good Wife

• Prov 31:10-31 – The Ideal Wife– Is industrious – 31:16-19, 24

• Answers the question of a working mother– She bought and sold land– She made and sold clothing

• The question isn’t, can a wife/mother work?

• But can she do her work without neglecting other responsibilities as wife and mother?

– 1 Tim 5:14; Titus 2:4-5– Some women can, others can’t– Some jobs can, others can’t– Some periods can, others can’t

How to be a Good Wife

• Prov 31:10-31 – The Ideal Wife– Is compassionate and charitable – 31:20

• Cares for the less fortunate, as well as her family

– Develops a strong character – 31:25• Just as Peter said – 1 Pet 3:3-4

– Speaks with wisdom and kindness – 31:26• Considers what she says and how she says it

• Just as we all should – Eph 4:29

How to be a Good Wife

• Prov 31:10-31 – The Ideal Wife– Sees to the needs of her family – 31:27

• Makes preparation and sacrifice – 31:15, 18

– Is one who fears the Lord – 31:29-30

• Now that we see what a good wife should be– Let’s take a brief look at what she should not be

What a Wife should NOT be

• Contentious, argumentative – Prov 21:9, 19

• Hateful – Prov 30:21-23

• Both attitudes will drive the husband away rather than drawing them closer together

• Now let’s move on to husbands

“The Virtuous Man”

• Some women feel the wife is given an ideal in Prov 31 that is hard to live up to– They complain there is no “virtuous man”

passage

• But recall, Proverbs is addressed to a son – 1:8– The book is to prepare a boy to be a man– 30 ½ chapters describe “the virtuous man”– The “virtuous woman” only gets ½ chapter at

the end• And even that ½ chapter advises the man as well

How to be a Good Husband

• Prov 31:31– Let your wife develop her own abilities

• Let her have the benefits of her labor

• Don’t think of her as an extension of self

• Prov 31:28-29– Be sure to praise her often– Don’t take her for granted

• Prov 31:11– Demonstrate trust in her

• Her faithfulness, her intelligence, her abilities

• No room for jealousy, envy, or suspicion

How to be a Good Husband

• Prov 5:15-21– Be content with your wife’s love– Let your desire be for her only

• Don’t be imagining life with others– That will lead to problems– Matt 5:27-30

• Some say, “There’s no harm in looking”– But the truth is there is great harm in looking

• Prov 11:29– Build a good family relationship or there will be

nothing in the end

Conclusion

• Eccl 9:9– The best you can have in THIS life is to enjoy life

with the woman you love

• So Proverbs – Can help you choose a good mate– Can help you be a good mate– And next we’ll look at what it says about raising

and providing for a family