You can use a PERSONAL STATEMENT

to apply to University of California

schools, or . . . apply for a Scholarship.

Your TRANSCRIPT alone . . .

GPA

UNITSCOURSES

Your TRANSCRIPT plus . . .

YourYour Unique Unique andand InterestingInteresting SelfSelf

A way to:

- bring your transcript alive,

- separate yourself from the crowd.

In a Scholarship Essay, you . . . - inspire the college admission officer to pick your name for the “accepted list,”

or to give YOU a financial award for your college education.

Offers an understanding of YOU and your world.

Is an opportunity for you to explain how people and experiences have challenged you and enhanced your ability to succeed .

- www.admissions.ucla.edu

INCLUDE . . . * Discussion of your academic record * Your accomplishments * Other activities.

INCLUDE . . . * Unusual circumstances , challenges, or hardships you have faced . . . ways

in which you have overcome or responded to them.

INCLUDE . . . * STRENGTHS INITIATIVE MOTIVATION

LEADERSHIP SERVICE TO OTHERS SPECIAL POTENTIAL

EXPERIENCE WITH OTHER CULTURES

INCLUDE . . . * Achievements you have made with the opportunities given to you.

NO . . . Wordy or flowery descriptions or unimportant itinerary when

describing experiences.

NO . . . Exclamation points !!!

NO . . . Generalities or unnecessary adverbs and adjectives.

In order to be an effective writer, you must remember to use your own words. I cannot stress this enough: Stop using too many big fancy words in one sentence! It does not make you sound smart; you instead sound like you are trying too hard.

Have you ever been told that you look nice in your sweats when you think you look sloppy? The same idea applies to your writing style. Sometimes it is better to let yourself shine through. It is easier to convey your message when you are comfortable and are familiar with your words, rather than trying to impress the reader with complicated strange wording that you borrowed from a thesaurus.

In saying this, I am not implying that you should use remedial words and phrasing. (ALWAYS USE CORRECT GRAMMAR!) I am stating that you should simply not rely on the thesaurus or make the main focus of your paper these “impressive” words. — Katerina Syrengelas

What is your intended major?

Discuss how your interest in the subject developed and describe any experience you have had in the field — such as volunteer work, internships and employment, participation in student organizations and activities — and what you have gained from your involvement.

Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you.

What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are?

Is there anything you would like us to Is there anything you would like us to know about you or your academic know about you or your academic record that you have not had the record that you have not had the opportunity to describe elsewhere in opportunity to describe elsewhere in this application?this application?

- - Personal circumstances Personal circumstances - Family experiences - Family experiences

- - Opportunities that were or were not available at Opportunities that were or were not available at their school or collegetheir school or college

1) Maximum of 1,000 words in both prompts combined

2) Each response – at least 250 words

3) No special characters

IMPORTANT !!!IMPORTANT !!!4) Copy and paste from a Word document

First - Copy & Paste your essay into the space provided in the application.

Next - Proofread once more to make sure no odd characters or line breaks have appeared.

When submitting a paper application . . . attach a copy of your personal statements.

- Name , date of birth, and the words "Personal Statement” in the upper right corner of each page

Avoid generalities & Be specific!

For example: Do not give a summary . . . Focus on an interesting detail instead.

Make it interesting and meaningful to the reader.

Help them learn more about you, and make your essay more enjoyable and easy to read.

Don’t use humor !!!

Avoid clichés or lines from Movies or Songs. Examples: “Two wrongs don’t make a right.”

“Somewhere over the rainbow”

Do not be cute with font and format options.

(Use Times New Roman & 12 point font.)

Talk to someone if you are having difficulty writing what you want to say.

Do . . . give yourself enough time. (Start early!)

Do . . . make sure to answer the question asked.

Do . . . be yourself !

Do . . . ask for help.

Do . . . proofread.

Don’t . . . use the same story for both prompts.

Don’t . . . use humor.

Don’t . . . procrastinate.

Don’t . . . make up hardships.

No matter what college system you decide on, you can apply for free money to attend.

Using the writing skills you have learned today . . . you can apply for scholarships that will help you pay for any college you wish to attend.

Communicate effectively through the written word.

The topics for scholarship essays vary widely from college to college and scholarship to scholarship.

- Some colleges have pre-selected topics.

- Others give some leeway and allow you to choose your own specific topic within a specified, broader range.

General TipsGeneral Tips for writing for writing

your your Scholarship Scholarship

EssayEssay

Tip #1

FOLLOW DIRECTIONS

Many students fail to follow simple directions such as margins, spacing, or style.

Use only white paper for essays.

Colored paper is pretty, but often judges prefer white paper . . . It’s much more professional.

Tip #2STAY ON TOPIC

Always answer any questions asked for the essay.(Do not write about topics the essay does not ask for.)

Some essays will want to know about your favorite book,

movie, or hobby to see what you enjoy doing besides studying. (Describe an intelligent activity!)

Another question that may be asked is . . . “What was the most difficult time in your life and why & how you grew as a person from this experience?” (This does not mean that you have to tell a tragedy.)

Other types of questions may ask about . . . personality traits, extracurricular activities, and your dreams.

Remember . . .

The purpose of these essays is to see how well you can express yourself in words on paper.

Focus on . . .

keeping all that yousay in your “personal statement” or “essay” positiveinspiring and education oriented.

http://www.universityofcalifornia.edu/

http://www.californiacolleges.edu

www.universityofcalifornia.edu/apply

www.scholarships.com

www.admissions.ucla.edu

Let’s Practice . . . Can you think of . . .

An accomplishment or a special experience and describe what you have learned and how you have grown from this,

or

A challenge . . . and ways in which you have overcome or responded to it.

Learning to cope from a loss,

Learning to prevail through having patience and persistence,

Learning how to work with others effectively in school, volunteer work or your job.

“Because my mother is a single parent, she has had to make a lot of sacrifices to keep me and my

brother in a private school. It means that we have to go without a lot of things, which is sometimes

embarrassing. But even though everyone in my school knows that we are poor, no one is willing to

give me a break. This is especially true of my English teacher, Sister Magdalena. Because she

didn't like me, and she is not comfortable with poor people, she gave me a C in English when I really

should have gotten a B.”

OR

How you overcame the obstacle, not what a terrible obstacle it was.Show your resiliency

“I want to study engineering because a recent US News and World Report article

said that engineering is the fastest-growing industry in the nation and the best place to study engineering is UCLA. With a degree

in engineering, I will be able to buy a house for my mom.”

OR

What a r e your mot iva t ions?

money vs.

a l ove of l ea r ning

“My father divorced us when I was in seventh grade. At that time, I was going through what my mother called my

"difficult stage" because my world revolved around school, friends and boys, and "family" was often put on the back

burner. I was unprepared for the resulting family crisis; my father, the man who nurtured my passion for art, literature

and my love of languages, would no longer be a part of my life. At the time, I thought that I could not go on. Now I realize that my father's rejection, while extremely painful, gave me a resiliency and strength of character that I did

not previously know I possessed.”

introductory paragraph. You're the judge

OR

Descriptive , Quiet Confidence, Honest,Resolves her Crises

andWhat she learned from it

http://www.universityofcalifornia.edu/admissions/undergrad_adm/apply/how_apply/personal_statement.html

How to Access Resources

http://californiacolleges.edu/admissions/california-independent-colleges/personal-essay.asp

http://www.admissions.ucla.edu/prospect/PerStmt.htm

http://students.berkeley.edu/apa/personalstatement/blunders.html

http://www.ucgateways.org/

http://www.quintcareers.com/college_application_essay.html

http://www.fastweb.com/

Please go to the:

Harbor College Website Harbor College Website ((lahc.edulahc.edu))

“Student Services” “EOPS” “EOPS Student

Information”

. . . for this presentation.