Writing Sample Corrections.pdf

Embed Size (px)

Citation preview

  • 8/10/2019 Writing Sample Corrections.pdf

    1/3

  • 8/10/2019 Writing Sample Corrections.pdf

    2/3

    channels. This situation is an excellent example for researching the

    communication between mass media and its audience. Whereas some can

    argue that the methods of propaganda in this case were clear. The

    influence was strong and we can see that it affected the public as a

    whole during the recent months. From December of 2013 to autumn of 2014,

    the relationship between Ukraine and Russia has become much stressed,

    thanks to the pervasive influence of mass media.

    It is important to analyze broadcast information because bad or

    misleading reporting can have grave consequences. If a person evaluates

    information improperly, he begins to judge incorrectly, panic, or even

    take radical positions. So, what types of methods are the most

    influential for news journalists?

    Lets focus on the first group of these methods. This group concentrates

    on the surface, the person speaking about such actions. For example,

    when news is delivered by a famous person or persons who have seen the

    event, or effects of, with their own eyes, we believe those words more

    than some government official or random person. This method is effective

    and dangerous for the audience. Article writers use this illusion to

    give authority to an anonymous source of information.

    The second group consists of methods that characterize how a journalist

    shows the data. There are the humdrum narratives and the emotional

    Commented [AM9]: I would spell the word te

    out here and delete the since you are talking ab

    than one Russian television channel.

    Commented [AM10]: If this is past tense, mayb

    However, some have argued that the methods o

    propaganda in this case were clear.

    If this is present tense, maybe try: However, som

    argue that the methods of propaganda in this cas

    (quite) clear.

    You can ask me more about this if you dont unde

    Commented [AM11]: I think it is past tense be

    this sentence!

    The influence was so strong that we have seen haffected the public as a whole during the recent m

    Commented [AM12]: This part of the sentence

    awkward.

    You can try: have been very tense thanks to the

    influence of mass media.

    Or maybe: has becomemore tense thanks to the

    influence of mass media. I think I would use this

    Tense for this sentence mean the same thing as st

    Commented [AM13]: will begin

    Commented [AM14]: No need for these)

    Commented [AM15]: This group concentrate

    surface, otherwise known as the person speaking

    such actions

    Commented [AM16]: You can use well-known

    want here. But famous is okay!

    Commented [AM17]: who saw the event or e

    that event with their own eyes, we believe those

    more than some government official or random p

    Commented [AM18]: but

    Commented [AM19]: These methods are

  • 8/10/2019 Writing Sample Corrections.pdf

    3/3

    resonance.

    The humdrum narrative means that the journalist talks about deaths,

    terrorist acts, and war as if they were ordinary events. Over time,

    television viewers are accustomed to the simple tone of the anchor and

    are desensitized to violent events and death.

    Commented [AM20]: become