Welcome

Lisa Schaefer, MSE

Counselor,

Fac i l i tator

N ICC BCS

WHAT IS YOUR SELF TALK?

“THERE IS NOTHING

EITHER GOOD OR BAD, BUT

THINKING MAKES IT SO….”

Shakespeare’s Hamlet

The most harmful stress in our

lives exists in our minds!

Identify the “Inhibiters”

6,000 Thoughts a Day – What are you saying to yourself

that increases or decreases your stress?

Holmes Rahe Stress Scale

In 1967, psychiatrists Thomas Holmes and Richard Rahe

decided to study whether or not stress contributes to

illness. They surveyed more than 5,000 medical patients and

asked them to say whether they had experience any of a

series of 43 life events in the previous two years.

Each event, called a Life Change Unit (LCU), had a different

"weight" for stress. The more events the patient added up,

the higher the score. The higher the score, and the larger

the weight of each event, the more likely the patient was to

become ill.

What Causes Distress?

Stress comes from your beliefs about events.

People with high levels of “stress” believe that

they are victims of circumstance

A + B = C “Activating Event” + “Belief” = “Consequence”

The thing we blame + what we tell ourselves = Distress

Albert Ellis – Rational Emotive

Therapy/Cognitive Therapy

What are Irrational Beliefs?

Scripts we have in our

head about how we

believe life “should” be

for us and others

Ideas, feelings, beliefs,

attitude with which we

were raised

Lifelong messages sent to

us either formally or

informally by society,

culture, community, race

Irrational Beliefs About Others =

Distress No one cares about anyone else – EVERYONE is so

Rude

All Men/Women are dishonest and shouldn’t be

trusted

All people are out for themselves

They Aren’t Doing It Right

Irrational Beliefs of Yourself

(Self Defeating) = Distress

I should never burden others with my problems or fears

I am uncreative, untalented

I am so stupid when it comes to……

I am the ugliest, most unattractive, unappealing fat slob in the world…..

I CAN’T ________FAIL_____________

Don’t let what you CAN’T DO get in the way of what you CAN DO!

12 Irrational Beliefs

What irrational Belief do I want to Dispute and surrender?

Why is this Belief inaccurate?

Does any evidence exist for the truth of my Belief?

What is the worst that could happen if I don't get what I think

I must have (or do get what I think I mustn't have)?

What good things could I make happen if I don't get what I

think I must have (or do get what I think I mustn't have)?

1. The idea that it is a dire necessity for adults to be loved by

significant others for almost everything they do--

Instead of their concentrating on their own self-respect, on

winning approval for practical purposes, and on loving rather

than on being loved.

2. The idea that certain acts are awful or wicked, and that

people who perform such acts should be severely damned --

Instead of the idea that certain acts are self-defeating or

antisocial, and that people who perform such acts are behaving

stupidly, ignorantly, or neurotically, and would be better helped

to change. People's poor behaviors do not make them rotten

individuals.

3. The idea that it is horrible when things are not the way we

like them to be--

Instead of the idea that it is too bad, that we would better try

to change or control bad conditions so that they become more

satisfactory, and, if that is not possible, we had better

temporarily accept and gracefully lump their existence.

4. The idea that human misery is invariably externally caused

and is forced on us by outside people and events

Instead of the idea that neurosis is largely caused by the view

that we take of unfortunate conditions.

5. The idea that if something is or may be dangerous or

fearsome we should be terribly upset and endlessly obsess

about it--

Instead of the idea that one would better frankly face it and

render it non-dangerous and, when that is not possible,

accept the inevitable.

6. The idea that it is easier to avoid than to face life

difficulties and self-responsibilities

Instead of the idea that the so-called easy way is usually much

harder in the long run.

7. The idea that we absolutely need something other or

stronger or greater than ourself on which to rely --

Instead of the idea that it is better to take the risks of

thinking and acting less dependently.

8. The idea that we should be thoroughly competent,

intelligent, and achieving in all possible respects --

Instead of the idea that we would better do rather than

always need to do well, and accept ourself as a quite

imperfect creature, who has general human limitations and

specific fallibilities.

9. The idea that because something once strongly affected our

life, it should indefinitely affect it --

Instead of the idea that we can learn from our past

experiences but not be overly-attached to or prejudiced by

them.

10. The idea that we must have certain and perfect control

over things --

Instead of the idea that the world is full of improbability and

chance and that we can still enjoy life despite this.

11. The idea that human happiness can be achieved by inertia

and inaction --

Instead of the idea that we tend to be happiest when we are

vitally absorbed in creative pursuits, or when we are devoting

ourselves to people or projects outside ourselves.

12. The idea that we have virtually no control over our

emotions and that we cannot help feeling disturbed about

things --

Instead of the idea that we have real control over our

destructive emotions if we choose to work at changing the

“musturbatory” hypotheses which we often employ to create

them.

Mistakes are Learning

Opportunities

Rethink Failing… Failures are Learning

Opportunities – If you haven’t failed,

you haven’t learned!

Steps to Change –

Worksheet/Journal

A - I associate the stress in my life with _________

B - I believe the things should be ________(what you believe is the cause of the distress ___________

C – consequences “I feel stressed, I get depressed, and it makes the stress worse because ___________

When you evaluate it

you have the following

choices:

Remain in the situation

and change nothing

Get out of the situation

causing the stress

Change my belief about

the situation

Change how I react to it

Don’t Set Out to Change

Others – Set Out to change

how you react!

You don’t have to be Great to Get Started….

Once you Change your Thinking –

Techniques to Assist Reducing

Stress

Laughter

Sleep

Meditation

Escape

Eat Healthy

Exercise

Find time for Fun

Make a list of things you enjoy doing

Assertiveness – Learn to say no

Stop Worrying, Catastrophizing, Trying to Change things

out of your control – the serenity prayer

Gratitude Journal

Self Affirmations

http://youtu.be/qR3rK0kZFkg

Pep Talks –

http://youtu.be/l-gQLqv9f4o

Networking Opportunity

Your Name, What is one thing that you want to practice

yourself to help reduce your stress? What is one thing you

will share with your colleagues regarding stress?

Creating a Growth

Plan to HELP Success

What is Your Plan for Success?

What are your Goals?

Financial?

Career?

Personal Development?

Health/Fitness?

Education?

Attitude?

Family?

FIND A MENTOR

Financial:

http://youtu.be/16QCEWn-Ang

Dave Ramsey Approach to Wealth

Step #1: Save $1000 as emergency fund

Step #2: Use the Snowball Effect The point of the debt snowball is simply this: You need some quick wins in order to stay pumped up about getting out of debt! Paying off debt is not always about math. It’s about motivation. Personal finance is 20% head knowledge and 80% behavior. When you start knocking off the easier debts, you will see results and you will stay motivated to dump your debt

Step #3: Save 3 to 6 months of expense

Step #4: Invest 15% of household income in Roth & Pre tax Retirement

Step #5: Save for College

Step #6: Pay off house early

Tony Robbins – 6 Steps to

Emotional Mastery .

1) Identify What You’re Really Feeling

2) Acknowledge And Appreciate Your Emotions, Knowing They Support You

3) Get Curious About The Message This Emotion Is Offering You

Empowering Questions to find the empowering meaning in any negative emotion or

situation:

a) What else could this mean?

b) What can I learn from this?

c) How do I want to feel?

d) What would I have to believe to feel that way right now?

e) What am I willing to do about it right now?

4) Get Confident

5) Get Certain You Can Handle This Not Only Today, But In The Future As Well

.6) Get Excited And Take Action

http://youtu.be/OSCw6FKocYw

Change Your Obstacles into

Opportunities

http://youtu.be/6P2nPI6CTlc