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Wedding Booklet 1701 8 th Street SW Altoona, Iowa 50009 (515) 967-4818 www.LccAltoona.org Last update: October 2017

Wedding Booklet - Church of The Cross · Wedding Booklet 1701 8th Street SW Altoona, Iowa 50009 (515) 967-4818 ... The fee for an LCC pastor to do an offsite wedding within 30 miles

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Page 1: Wedding Booklet - Church of The Cross · Wedding Booklet 1701 8th Street SW Altoona, Iowa 50009 (515) 967-4818 ... The fee for an LCC pastor to do an offsite wedding within 30 miles

Wedding Booklet

1701 8th Street SW

Altoona, Iowa 50009 (515) 967-4818

www.LccAltoona.org

Last update: October 2017

Page 2: Wedding Booklet - Church of The Cross · Wedding Booklet 1701 8th Street SW Altoona, Iowa 50009 (515) 967-4818 ... The fee for an LCC pastor to do an offsite wedding within 30 miles

Wedding Booklet

2 10/18/2017

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Congratulations ......................................................................... 3

A Word about Weddings ........................................................... 3

Getting Started ........................................................................... 4

Fees ............................................................................................ 4

Music at Your Wedding ............................................................. 6

Sound at Your Wedding ............................................................. 6

Photography and Video at Your Wedding .................................. 6-7

Bridal Worksheets ...................................................................... 8

Order of Service for Christian Marriage ..................................... 9

Suggested Bible Readings .......................................................... 14

Suggested Music Selections …………………………………………………….. 15

Wedding Worksheet .................................................................. 16

Processional Worksheet ............................................................ 17

Expectations of the Wedding Party ........................................... 19

Guidelines for Decorating and Clean Up at your Wedding ......... 20-21

Remarriage, Blended Families and Weddings ............................ 22-24

Wedding Fees Worksheet …………………………………………………………. 25

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CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR APPROACHING WEDDING! We count it a blessing to help you prepare for both your wedding and marriage. We pray that God will bless you both as we work together in planning your wedding day and that your marriage will reflect His love. Please read the following pages thoroughly as they contain information that you will need to know to make your wedding go smoothly.

JUST A WORD ABOUT WEDDINGS… We do weddings through LCC because God loves weddings and we want to help you discover His best for your marriage. Weddings that we do here, will, by their very nature, be Christian in content and format—that means that we bless people in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. The content of the meditation will invite couples to look to Jesus Christ as the source of life and love. The readings included in the wedding ceremony will be selected from the Bible, because we believe it to be God’s inspired Word. We believe that marriage is ultimately a spiritual union between one man and one woman that seeks to express God’s desire for all couples—that the two become “one flesh” (Genesis 2: 24). For more information about our congregation, please visit our website at www.lccaltoona.org.

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GETTING STARTED To schedule a wedding date, complete the Marriage Request Form online at

www.lccaltoona.org/life-events.

A wedding is considered scheduled when a $100 deposit has been made and the date confirmed by a LCC Pastor. Until the deposit is received, the date is not held.

Wedding Fees: o Pastoral Care $175 o Wedding Coordinator $175 o Sound Tech $ 75 o Housekeeping $ 75 o TOTAL FEES $500

Offsite Weddings: The fee for an LCC pastor to do an offsite wedding within 30 miles of Des Moines is $250. For any location beyond 30 miles, the pastor may add mileage to this rate at their discretion.

The remainder of the fees may be paid to the church office or your Wedding Coordinator at any time before your rehearsal. Make checks payable to “Lutheran Church of the Cross”.

Officiants – All weddings held at Lutheran Church of the Cross will be officiated by one of our LCC Pastors.

You will be assigned a Wedding Coordinator two months in advance of your wedding.

Your Wedding Coordinator will:

Be available to you throughout the planning process

Arrange your Ceremony Planning Meeting

Oversee your Rehearsal

Attend / Assist at your Wedding

PREMARITAL COUNSELING: Premarital counseling is an opportunity for couples to continue to grow in their relationship with one another and with God. It gives couples great insight into their relationship (both strengths and areas of growth) and provides tools to help make their marriage strong. Couples getting married at LCC complete an online assessment ($35.00 per person), attend pre-marriage workshops, and meet personally with an LCC pastor. Premarriage workshops are a requirement for all weddings held at LCC. Other than the online assessment fee, the cost of the workshops and pastoral meeting is included in the fees for the wedding.

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The Pastor officiating the ceremony will contact the couple to set up the individual counseling two months prior to the ceremony.

You will be required to have your marriage license. Bring the license to the rehearsal and give to the

Wedding Coordinator at your rehearsal. Polk County Marriage Licenses: 286-3781

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MUSIC AT YOUR WEDDING LCC has pre-recorded “Wedding Music” CD’s with traditional wedding songs. You may use those, or you may provide your own music. If you provide your own music, we prefer it to be on a CD or MP3 format, and provided to the Wedding Coordinator one week in advance. All music selections must be approved by either the wedding coordinator or the pastor.

Vocalists and Pianists – Optional, additional fees apply

LCC has many talented vocalists and pianists who would be happy to help with your wedding. The fee for a Pianist is $125, and for a vocalist is $75. Contact the church office for a current list of musicians: 515-967-4818, or [email protected].

SOUND AT YOUR WEDDING All LCC weddings require an LCC authorized and trained Sound Technician. This will automatically be provided, and is included in the Wedding Fees. Lance Demers, Worship Technology Coordinator, will schedule this person for you.

PHOTOGRAPHY & VIDEOGRAPHY AT YOUR WEDDING

Photography

Photography is an important part of every wedding; however it can be disruptive if not handled properly. Please pass on this page of guidelines to your photographer (Professional or Non-professional)

1. Saturday weddings scheduled at 3:00 pm

Photographs are allowed in the Worship Center from 12:00 pm – 2:30 PM

Outdoor photography is allowed at any time.

Photographs in the Worship Center after the wedding are not possible because of a late afternoon worship gathering. (If you require the sanctuary after the ceremony, you must schedule your wedding earlier in the day. The Worship Center must be clear by 4 pm).

2. Weddings at other times will arrange photography with their Wedding Coordinator.

3. Photography at all LCC Wedding Ceremonies

Flash photography is not allowed during the ceremony.

Photographers are allowed to stand in the back or the side of the sanctuary.

Photographers are allowed to use the balcony.

Photographers ARE NOT ALLOWED in the stage/altar area or the front of the church during the ceremony.

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Video Recording at your Wedding Outside videographers ARE allowed. LCC does not provide video recording of Wedding Services.

Video Presentations at your Wedding * – Optional, additional fees apply

This is not a required part of the wedding program. This is a service that is available to you should you choose to use it. We can project video onto the projection screen at the front of the Worship Center. The bride and groom are responsible to put the presentation together and it must be in MP4 format on a Jump Drive. The presentation needs to be tested in the Worship Center at least 1 week prior to the wedding. The fee for this service is $25. Contact the church office at 515-967-4818 or [email protected]. * Please note: These presentations take place either before the wedding while people are being seated or after the wedding while people are being ushered out.

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BRIDAL WORKSHEETS The following sheets are used for your Ceremony Planning Meeting. Your Wedding Service Coordinator will set up your meeting at least 60 days prior to your wedding. The Coordinators are here to help you through the planning process, if you have questions or would like to meet with your Coordinator earlier, please call them directly. We ask that you read these sheets, fill out any arrangements you have already made, and bring them to your meeting. Please note: The use of wagons to haul children down the center aisle can be dangerous. Wagons have no backs and children have often fallen out when suddenly jerked forward. The sloped floor tends to increase the speed at which they travel and those pulling the wagon may not be mature enough to handle the task. Please consider finding another way to involve little ones in the ceremony.

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ORDER OF SERVICE FOR CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE Prelude This is music played as guests are being seated before the service. Immediate family members are seated. The Unity Candle individual candles may be lit at this time. Groom and Pastor take their place in front of worship center. Processional Processional music begins, and the wedding party comes to the altar and stands in front of the pastor. The guests are invited to stand before the bride makes her entrance. The father of the bride may accompany the bride to the front of the altar. The Welcome The Pastor welcomes guests to this wedding service. Guests are encouraged to turn off cell phones, and reminded that flash photography is not permitted during the service. Any announcements the couple would like the Pastor to make would be shared with guests at this time. The Invocation P: We gather this day, knowing that God shows up for weddings. And so we give our

attention to the Triune God: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, as He is here with us today to bless this marriage.

The Opening Prayer P: Let us pray: We give you great thanks today for bringing ______________ & _______________ together in love. We also thank you for all their family and friends who have gathered with them to celebrate today. We ask that we would be attentive to your presence here, that we may be filled with the joy and love and peace that only you can bring. Bless this wedding. We pray this in Jesus’ name, Amen. Bible Passages: _______________________________________ _______________________________________ One or more passages from the Bible may be read. Music may be inserted between the Bible passages, after the passages, or after the sermon.

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Sermon The Call to Marriage: P: The Lord God in his goodness created us male and female, and by the gift of marriage founded human community in a joy that begins now and is brought to perfection in the life to come. Because of sin, our age-old rebellion, the gladness of marriage can be overcast and the gift of the family can become a burden. But because God, who established marriage, continues still to bless it with his abundant and ever-present support, we can be sustained in our weariness and have our joy restored. _________________ and _________________, if it is your intention to share with each other your joys and sorrows and all that the years will bring, with your promises bind yourselves to each other as husband and wife. The bride hands her flowers to her matron/maid of honor. The couple faces one another and joins hands. Exchange of Vows The Pastor leads the bride and groom separately through the vows. VOW #1: I take you ________________, to be my wife/husband, from this day forward, to join with you and share all that is to come, and I promise to be faithful to you until death parts us. VOW #2: I, ______________, take you, _____________, to be my wife/husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death parts us, according to God’s holy ordinance, and thereto I pledge you my love. Exchanging of Rings The Pastor leads the couple separately as they exchange rings: I give you this ring as a sign of my love and faithfulness. Announcement of Marriage The couple joins hands. The Pastor places his hand over theirs and says: P: ___________________ & ___________________, by their promises before God and in the presence of this congregation, have bound themselves to one another as husband and wife. Blessed be the Father and the Son and Holy Spirit now and forever. Those whom God has joined together let no one put asunder. Amen. Lighting of the Unity Candle The couple may light a unity candle at this time. The Wedding License is signed. A song may be sung or played during this time.

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The Blessing P: The Lord God, who created our first parents and established them in marriage, establish and sustain you, that you may find delight in each other and grow in holy love until your life’s end. Closing Prayers Let us pray: Lord God, You are good and You are faithful and Your love endures forever. We thank You for the joy which _____________ & _____________ have found in each other. Pour down Your grace upon them that they may fulfill the vows they have made this day and reflect Your steadfast love in their life-long faithfulness to each other. Use us gathered here today to support their life together; and from Your great source of strength give them power and patience, affection and understanding, courage, and love toward you, toward each other, and toward the world, that they may continue together in mutual growth according to your will in Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen. The Lord’s Prayer Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be Thy name. Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread; and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespassed against us. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. For Thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, forever and ever. Amen. The Benediction P: And now may the Lord bless you and keep you. May the Lord make His face shine on you and be gracious to you. May the Lord look upon you with favor, and give you His peace. Amen. Presentation of Couple P: It is indeed my privilege to introduce to you for the very first time: _____________________________________________________________. The couple may kiss after the presentation. Recessional Music begins, the couple and wedding party exit the worship space.

Postlude Other music may be played as the guests exit the worship space.

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ORDER OF SERVICE FOR CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE (sequential version) The following should help you with the printing of your Wedding Bulletin. This will be discussed in detail with your Coordinator. You can consult with the Coordinator about both the scripture readings and music choices. The readings and music are usually included in your bulletin. Prelude Choice of music: Circle one and list title below: Pianist Personal CD LCC CD ________________________________________________________

Processional Please see “Processional Worksheet” _______________________________________________________ Welcome Invocation and Opening Prayer Reading of Scriptures (See page 9)

Reader _____________________

1. ______________________ 2. ______________________ Solo (Optional)

Choice of music: Circle one and list title below Pianist/Vocalist CD ________________________________________________________

Sermon Call to Marriage Exchange of Vows Exchange of Rings Announcement of Marriage

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Solo Choice of music during the lighting of the Unity Candle Circle one and list title below: Pianist/Vocalist CD

_______________________________________________________ Lighting of the Unity Candle (Delivery of flowers to parents and if desired, the parents come forward for the blessing)

Blessing for the Marriage Closing Prayers The Lord's Prayer Benediction Presentation of Couple Married name: ______________________________________________________ Recessional Choice of music Circle one and list title below: Pianist CD _______________________________________________________ Postlude Choice of music Circle one and list title below: Pianist CD _______________________________________________________

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Suggested Bible Readings for Weddings Old Testament Reference Theme Genesis 1:26-28 Male and female, he created them Genesis 2:20-24 Creation of woman Genesis 9:8-17 God’s covenant with Noah Joshua 24:15 “As for me and my house” Ruth 1:16-17 Where you go, I will go Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 For everything there is a season Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 Two are better than one Psalm 121 I lift my eyes to the hills Proverbs 3:1-6, 13-18 Let not loyalty and faithfulness forsake you Proverbs 31:10-12, 25-31 A good wife is more precious than jewels Isaiah 30:21 This is the way, walk in it Isaiah 54:10-14 My steadfast love will not depart from you Hosea 2:19-20 I will betroth you to me forever New Testament Reference Theme Matthew 5:1-10 The Beatitudes Matthew 5:13-16 You are the light of the world Matthew 6:19-21 Where your treasure is, Matthew 7:24-29 A wise man built his house upon a rock Matthew 22:36-40 The greatest commandment Mark 10:6-9 What God has joined, let no man put John 2:1-12 Jesus’ first miracle at the wedding in Cana John 15:1-8 I am the vine and you are the branches John 15:9-17 Love one another as I have loved you Romans 12:9-12 Let love be genuine 1 Corinthians 13:4-13 The greatest of these is love Ephesians 3:14-19 May you be grounded and rooted in love Ephesians 5:21-33 Wives be subject to your husbands, husbands love

your wives Colossians 3:12-17 Put on love, which binds everything together in

harmony 1 John 4:7-8, 12 Let us love one another Revelation 19:5-9 The marriage of the Lamb

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SUGGESTED WEDDING SERVICE MUSIC

These songs are simply suggestions. Feel free to pick music that is meaningful to you. Remember that your wedding is a worship service; therefore pick music that is honoring and reflective of God’s vision for love and marriage.

Processionals/Recessionals

Air or Hornpipe from Water Music Handel Bridal Chorus (Here Comes the Bride) Wagner Canon in D Pachelbel Finale from Water Music Handel Jesu, Joy of Man’s Desiring Bach Ode to Joy Beethoven Spring (The Four Seasons) Vivaldi Trumpet Tune Purcell Trumpet Voluntary Clarke Wedding March Mendelssohn Wedding March/Marriage of Figaro Mozart

Congregational Songs

(You may choose to have the congregation sing a hymn or song during your wedding service as a way of giving thanks to God and asking God’s blessing on your marriage.) Joyful, Joyful, We Adore Thee Borning Cry All Creatures of Our God and King Great is Thy Faithfulness

Solos

Ave Maria Schubert How Beautiful How He Loves David Crowder I Will Be Here Steven Curtis Chapman The Lord’s Prayer Malotte The Prayer Charlotte Church/Josh Groban

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WEDDING WORKSHEET

Rehearsal Date: __________________________ Time:____________________

Wedding Date: __________________________ Time:____________________

Presiding Pastor: __________________________ Phone:___________________

Wedding Coordinator: __________________________ Phone:___________________

Sound Technician: __________________________ Phone:___________________

Video: __________________________ Phone:___________________

Pianist: __________________________ Phone:___________________

Vocalists: __________________________

# of Guests: __________________________

Bride's Parents: __________________________

Groom's Parents: __________________________

Maid of Honor: __________________________

# of Bridal Attendants: __________________________

Best Man: __________________________

# of Groomsmen: __________________________

Flower Girl: __________________________

Ring Bearer: __________________________

Personal Attendants: __________________________

Lead Usher: __________________________

# of Ushers: __________________________

Candle Lighters: __________________________

Guest Book Attendants: __________________________

Corsage Pinning: __________________________ Removing Personal Items: __________________________

Photographer: __________________________ Phone:___________________

Florist: __________________________ Phone:___________________

Transportation: __________________________ Phone:___________________

Programs __________________________

Bubbles, Birdseed etc? __________________________

Candelabra: __________________________ Bride and Groom ushering __________________________

or

Receiving Line Order: __________________________

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PROCESSIONAL WORKSHEET The “Processional” is the wedding party walking into the sanctuary. This part of your service often involves the seating of the parents, grandparents or other special people in your lives. Your Wedding Coordinator can help you plan the Processional. Order of Processional

1. Seating of Grandparents: Music: _________________________________________________

_______________________ Ushered by: _____________________ _______________________ Ushered by: _____________________

2. Seating of Grandparents: Music:__________________________________________________

_________________________ Ushered by: ____________________ _________________________ Ushered by: ____________________

3. Seating of Parents: Music:__________________________________________________

_________________________ Ushered by: ____________________ _________________________ Ushered by: ____________________

4. Seating of Parents: Music:__________________________________________________

_________________________ Ushered by: ____________________ _________________________ Ushered by: ____________________ (The groom usually seats the parents and then remains standing at the front of the

Worship Center.)

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5. Lighting of the “Mother’s Candles”. These are the 2 candles that are used to light your Unity candle. This is usually done by the Mothers of the Bride and Groom. This does not have to be part of your ceremony.

_______________________ and ____________________________

6. Bridal Attendants and Groomsmen: Music: __________________________________________________

7. Ring Bearer and Flower Girl 8. Bride: Music: ____________________________________________

Ushered by: _______________________________________

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EXPECTATIONS OF THE WEDDING PARTY This is a celebration and you should expect to have a great time! However, we do have a few simple expectations that you and your wedding party will need to be aware of.

1. Our property is here for you to use. We have plenty of rooms and bathrooms for the bridal party to get dressed. We even have a stand up mirror for the women! We encourage you to bring snacks/drinks for the wedding party—we ask that these be kept in Cross Café / Fellowship Center and cleaned up before the ceremony.

2. You are welcome to “explore” our property. Please keep children and others

away from the “band” area and the PA system in the worship area.

3. Our property is alcohol/drug free. We do not allow alcohol or drugs in the building or the parking lot. If it is suspected that someone is under the influence; they will be asked to leave the building (Brides and Grooms included). Pastors reserve the right to not conduct a wedding ceremony if a member of the wedding party, bride or groom is under the influence.

4. Our property is a public place and the doors will not be locked during your

ceremony. Please do not leave valuables lying around (including purses & gifts).

5. Pictures and videotaping during the ceremony should be discreet and without flash.

6. Remember, this is a time when family and friends come together because they care about you and want to support your life together. Relax and enjoy their company!

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GUIDELINES FOR DECORATING / CLEAN UP AT YOUR WEDDING Please give copies of this sheet to your Personal Attendants and Parents We understand weddings to be a time of worship, so decorations should be kept to a minimum and appropriate to a worship service. What makes a wedding special is not the decoration but the fact that you desire God’s blessing on your life together. Spend your time and energy on what is important: the marriage relationship and the people you have invited to your ceremony. Seek the Lord in your marriage and the wedding planning will be much easier for you and the people involved in your ceremony. 1. Worship is at the heart of congregational life, therefore the worship services at

Lutheran Church of the Cross take priority over every other event. The latest wedding on Saturday afternoons is at 3:00 p.m. Any weddings scheduled at this time will need to arrange photographs to be taken before the wedding. Please do not plan on decorating the sanctuary or setting up items in the church before noon on Saturday unless you receive specific permission through your wedding coordinator. We often have other events on Saturday mornings.

2. Prior to your ceremony, all items – snacks, flower boxes, purses, curling irons etc. will

need to be removed from the church building (your wedding coordinator can help with special items that will be needed after the ceremony or items that need to go into limos). Taking care of this prior to the ceremony also enables you and your “helpers” to go straight to the reception after the wedding. Assigning someone other than yourself this task will make your day easier.

3. The altar/chancel area (the front of the church) – Decorations on the altar table are

welcome. Flowers/Plants may also be placed on the short pedestal area by the handrails. Please do not move anything in the chancel area or on the altar without first asking your wedding coordinator.

4. Candelabra – The church owns candelabra and candles, you are welcome to use them

at no charge. If you choose to rent candelabra you must also provide protection (ie.-plexiglass) to protect the carpet from wax drippings.

5. Aisle runners – These are strongly discouraged. Their use dates back to a time when

church buildings had dirt floors. They can be a hazard – it is difficult to keep them from wrinkling (even with T-pins). Removing them after the processional and before guests are ushered out can also be awkward.

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6. Pew decorations –If you choose to use pew decorations, please do not use candles, tape, adhesive or metal that will scratch or damage the wood.

7. After the wedding ceremony, all of your decorations must be removed from the

church building. The Worship Center must be cleared no later than 4:15 pm, and the atrium no later than 4:45 pm. We do not have room to store anything that you might choose to bring to the church building. Rental items must be taken with you.

8. Sparkle spray – Please do not use. 9. Birdseed (there are other alternatives such as bubbles) – Please do not bring birdseed

into the church building unless it is packaged in separate bags for each guest. If you choose to use birdseed you will need to assign someone to sweep it off the sidewalks after you leave. The birdseed can make the sidewalks slippery for others using the church building.

Please take time to go over this list prior to your rehearsal and make sure you have arranged helpers and transportation. This will just help you on your special day to concentrate on your marriage and not on the “little things”. If you have any questions, please contact your wedding coordinator.

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Re-Marriage, Blended Families and Weddings

What is a blended family? This is a household consisting of a husband, wife and stepchildren. Here at LCC we realize that every family faces challenges and will face more in the days to come. Blended families have an extra challenge – they bring together different histories. Bringing those histories together in successful harmony can be complicated. Sometimes these complications will not come to light until after the wedding ceremony.

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance” (James 1:2-3).

This verse doesn’t say “if”, but rather “when”. We will all face trials when many personalities are brought together under one roof. There are tools available to help you be better prepared when facing the delicate issues that often make blended families a struggle. We hope the following will be of use to you as you prepare for your wedding and for your life together.

One other part of the blended family process involves “Co-Parenting”. A good definition of this is: “When two biological parents are involved in the raising of their children from 2 separate homes.”

“Unlike other families, stepfamilies often have other adults making decisions for the children. In the best cases, the children might have loving adults who are deeply invested in their lives as co-parents. But if your children's other parent is hostile and bitter, living an immoral lifestyle, adamantly opposed to Christianity, or just downright unstable, their presence can create all kinds of difficulties.

At the same time, children often are fiercely loyal to their birth parents, even a parent who has caused damage in the child's life. If they sense you've rejected their other parent, you might as well be rejecting them. That's a hurt that's not easily healed.” (This article first appeared in Fall 2004, Vol. 17, No. 1, Page 28 issue of Christian Parenting Today. Used by permission of Christianity Today International, Carol Stream, Illinois 60188)

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To help as prepare for your wedding and look at the issues of blended families, here are some other things you may want to consider: Early in remarriage biological parents need to remain primary caregivers and disciplinarians. Handing off the children to the new stepparent sabotages his or her ability to build a relationship.

Early in remarriage parents should empower stepparents by communicating to the children their expectation of obedience. Later, even if you disagree with what the stepparent has done in your absence, support his or her position with the children. Then take your disagreement behind closed doors and work out a unified plan and consequences for the next offense.

Stepparents need to grow into their relationship with stepchildren. Be friendly at first and support the house rules. Seek to be mutually suitable with your stepchildren and enjoy the relationship you have now.

Encourage and insist that children maintain regular, consistent contact with the parent living in the other home. Do your best to have a functional co-parent relationship.

Let children set the pace for their relationship with the stepparent. Consider each child individually. Give and expect affection, nurturance, and emotional sharing only to the degree children appear open to it.

Parents should consider the stepparent’s input into child rearing. It is easy for parents who are used to having complete control over their children to discount the stepparent’s perspective. Keep in mind that, as outsiders, stepparents can see things your blind spots prevent you from seeing. Listen and consider their input.

Stepparents need to learn to be a nonjudgmental sounding board for parents. When parents get frustrated with their own children, they may confide in the stepparent. However, stepparents who begin to agree and add their own frustration may find their spouse reversing position to defend the child. The parent-child bond is a protective one. Stepparents would do well to listen and affirm without criticizing the child. “I can see you are angry at Jane for lying to us. What do you suggest we do?”

Finally, but most important, effective parent-stepparent teams begin with healthy marriages. Take time to nurture your relationship, date on a regular basis, learn to communicate and resolve conflict, and enjoy a healthy sexual relationship. Make your marriage a priority!

(Ron L. Deal, http://www.sucessfulstepfamilies.com Ron L. Deal is Founder and President of Successful Stepfamilies and author of The Smart Stepfamily: Seven Steps to a Healthy Family )

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Resources available to strengthen and encourage the development of Blended Families:

All of the resources listed below are available to order online at www.christianbook.com and www.focusonthefamily.org

“The Smart Step-Family, Seven Steps to a Healthy Family” – by Ron L. Deal “Blended Families” – by Maxine Marsolini “Winning the Heart of Your Stepchild” – by Dr. Bob Barnes “Helping Children Survive Divorce” – by Archibald Hart

At this time LCC does not offer professional counseling in the specific area of “Blended Families”, however we encourage you to consider this option if you have any concerns at all. If you would like to explore this option, your officiating Pastor or your Wedding Service Coordinator can refer you.

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Wedding Fees Worksheet

(Please return this form with your payment)

All wedding fees are paid directly to Lutheran Church of the Cross in advance of the day of your rehearsal.

Checks /cash may be mailed to Laurel Swanson, Church Administrator, 1701 8th St SW, Altoona, IA, 50009.

Basic Wedding Package: $500

Includes: o Pastoral Care $ 175.00 o Wedding Coordinator $ 175.00 o Sound Tech $ 75.00 o Housekeeping $ 75.00

Optional Fees (please check any that apply to your wedding): Amount due:

Lutheran Church of the Cross Vocalist @ $75 $_________

Lutheran Church of the Cross Pianist @ $125 $_________

Video Presentation (DVD shown on screen) @ $25 $_________

Offsite Wedding $250

Base Wedding Package: $ ______

Optional Fees: $ ______

Less Deposit Paid (if applicable) -$ ______

Total amount payable to LCC $________

Bride Name: ______________________________________________

Groom Name: ______________________________________________

Wedding Date: ________________________________________

For Office Use: Deposit (if applicable) Amount $______________ Payment Received: Amount $______________ Date Received: _____/ ________/ _______