September 11 – October 9, 2016

The Marriage Project is a city-wide outreach initiative and our church is joining with dozens of other churches in Fort Worth. Each church will do their own 5-week Marriage Project series with Sunday messages and small group discussions.

The goals of The Marriage Project To unify churches in our city. To strengthen marriages. To invite un-churched people to explore the difference that

Christ can make in marriage. To equip Christians to initiate spiritual conversations and to

host Discussion Groups.

We will address 5 common questions about marriage Does Marriage Really Matter? What Do I Do When the Feelings Change? What Should We Do When We Just Can’t Get Along? What is True Love? What is the Secret to Happily Ever After?

Discussion Group and promotional materials are available atwww.tarrantnet.org/marriage-project/

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Facilitator Training1. What is a Marriage Project Discussion Group?

A Marriage Project Discussion Group is for creating honest conversations in a respectful environment that encouraged questions and authenticity. It is not about having a perfect marriage or having all the answers.

A group facilitator will… Invite Questions Create Conversation Share Authentically Encourage Spiritual Growth

2. Who can be a Discussion Group Facilitator?

If you can be hospitable, push play on a video, and ask questions, you can be a group facilitator.

A group facilitator will… Provide simple snacks. Reduce distractions (ambient noise, kids, etc) Consider the video requirements for streaming or downloading. Look at the videos and questions ahead of time. Ask open-ended questions that fuel conversation.

3. Who should I invite to a Marriage Project Discussion Group?

A Marriage Project discussion group is for anyone who has an interest in building a strong marriage. We encourage you to use this opportunity to invite couples who do not have a relationship with Christ, but who want to grow their marriages. Participants can be living together, married, never married, or divorced. Groups will benefit from including a variety of ages, marriage experience, and spiritual backgrounds.

A group facilitator will… Aim for 2-10 participants. Invite couples who are spiritually open and want to grow. Build trust by investing in relationships beforehand. Include a diversity of ages and marriage experience. Tailor the invitation so it is natural.

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Possible invitation language: In September, churches all across Fort Worth are inviting people to explore God’s perspective on marriage in an open and respectful environment. Do you ever ask questions like, “Does marriage really matter?” or “What do you do when feelings change?” or “What is the secret to happily ever after?” I wrestle with these questions, too. So my spouse and I are inviting some friends to do a Discussion Group. We will have conversation around some of these questions in a very respectful environment, and I’d love to have you join us.

4. What happens during a Marriage Project Discussion Group meeting?

A discussion group is flexible in format. You can customize the material to fit your group and your location.

Here are suggested time guidelines… 15 minutes – Snacks and Get Acquainted questions. 10 minutes – Watch the Session Intro video and ask the discussion

questions. This video uses movie clips and quotations to introduce different perspectives on the question to be discussed.

20-30 minutes – Watch the Session Stories video and ask the discussion questions. In this video, Christian couples share their stories relating to the question, and how Christ has made a difference in their marriage.

5-15 minutes – Wrap-up and follow-up. Thank everyone fro their contribution to the discussion, and point out Scriptures for further study. As appropriate, offer invitations to your church for a message on the topic.

5. How can I make this a great experience for everyone?

Keep in mind that you are a facilitator, not a teacher. The goal is not to answer every question, but to have good conversation about marriage. Honest and relevant conversation will keep people coming back.

A group facilitator will… At the first meeting, share the Ground Rules that will foster honest

conversation in a respectful environment. (See Session 1) Encourage discussion, not monologues or teaching. Set the pace by being authentic about your marriage challenges. Share the specific ways that your relationship with Christ impacts

your marriage. Know the marriage resources that your church recommends, if

people ask. (Counselors, marriage enrichment & training, etc.)

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Session 1: Does Marriage Really Matter Anymore?Get AcquaintedShare your names and how long you have been a couple?Where did you go on your first date?What do you hope to get out of this five-week series?

Ground Rules for the Discussion GroupWe will show respect for our spouses, and for each other’s opinions. We aren’t here to fix our spouse or other couples. Plan to learn from others and to work on yourself!

Watch Session 1 – Intro

DiscussWhat stood out to you in the video?

Why do you think fewer people are choosing to get married and more are choosing cohabitation than in previous generations?

What do you think are some of benefits of marriage for couples, for children, and for our community?

Watch Session 1 – Stories

DiscussWhat stood out to you from the stories of Alan & Sarah and Joseph & Trenholm?

What do you think of Trenholm’s statement that there are aspects of “oneness” that cannot be experienced until you are married?

How do you react to Alan’s image of the wedding ring as a magnifying glass that makes your problems bigger?

What inspires you or challenges you from these stories?

Scriptures for further study and discussion… Genesis 1:26-27; 2:18; Ephesians 5:21-33

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Session 2: What Do I Do When the Feelings Change?

Get AcquaintedShare one of your favorite places to go for a date night.

Watch Session 2 – Intro

DiscussWhat stood out to you in the video?

Were you surprised that 40% of married couples describe themselves as unhappy?

What do you think is a major factor in the “loss of love” in married couples?

Do you think there is a difference between romantic feelings and emotional intimacy? If so, how would you describe the difference?

What do you understand true intimacy in marriage to be?

Watch Session 2 – Stories

DiscussWhat stood out to you from these couples’ stories?

Why do you think of Graham’s statement that “your feelings are real but they are not trustworthy”?

Do you think he is right that “what you feed your mind will lead your heart”? What effect do you think that images, movies, media have on our feelings toward our spouses?

What do you think of Sarah’s statement that “love is not a feeling, it is a commitment”?

What difference do you think it makes for couples if they share a common spiritual purpose for their marriage? What does that look like?

Scriptures for further study and discussion… Genesis 2:18-25; James 3:14-18; 1 Peter 3:1-1

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Session 3: What Should We Do When We Can’t Get Along?Get AcquaintedWhat would you say was the predominant model of conflict resolution that you observed in your family as you were growing up? Would you say that you saw your parents “Clam Up,” or “Blow Up,” or Speak Up”?

Watch the video Session 3 – Intro

DiscussWhat stood out to you in the video?

What do you think of the statistic that 69% of marriage conflict never gets resolved?

What do you think are the most common areas of marriage conflict?

Do you think there is a central cause of most marriage conflict? If so, what is it?

Watch Session 3 – Stories

DiscussWhat stood out to you in Robert & Jessica’s story?

What helpful principles of conflict resolution did you hear in their story?

What questions does their story raise for you?

If you have participated in marriage counseling or some other marriage enrichment program, what benefits have you experienced?

What does Robert say is the difference that Jesus makes in how they approach conflict?

What do you think it looks like to make Jesus Christ the foundation of a marriage?

Scriptures for further study and discussion… Colossians 3:12-19; 1 Peter 4:8; Ephesians 4:25-27, 31-32.

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Session 4: What is True Love?Get AcquaintedWhat is one of your favorite love stories (from a movie, play, or book)?

Watch Session 4 – Intro

DiscussWhat stood out to you from the video?

How would you say that our popular entertainment media portray “true love”?

What do you think true love in a marriage will look like?

Watch Session 4 – Stories

DiscussWhat stands out to you from Graham and Stacey’s story?

What do you think were the parts of their story that illustrate aspects of true love?

How necessary do you think confession and forgiveness are in marriage? Would you say that confession and forgiveness create true love or reveal true love?

What do you think of Stacey’s statement “To have the marriage we have today, I would go through this pain all over again”?

How do you think a relationship with Christ makes true love possible in marriage?

Scriptures for further study and discussion… 1 Corinthians 13; 1 John 4:7-19

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Session 5: What’s the Secret to Happily Ever After?Get AcquaintedWho has been a great model for you of a marriage that endures? What do you see in their marriage that inspires you?

Watch Session 4 – Intro

DiscussWhat stood out to you from the video?

What do you think of the statistic that although 90% of people will get married, only 30% will find “enduring love”?

What do you think are some of essential elements of a love that lasts?

Watch Session 4 – Stories

DiscussWhat stood out to you from these couples’ stories?

How would you say that faith in God has made a practical difference in your marriage?

What do you think of Krystalynn’s image of the “triangle” – that as we commit to growing closer to God we find that we are growing closer to each other?

God

Wife Husband

What do you think of Brett’s statement, “I never fully understood the grace that was defined when Jesus died on the cross, until God gave me my marriage back.”

How has experiencing your spouse’s love helped you understand God?

How has experiencing God’s love helped you understand marriage?

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Scriptures for further study and discussion… Malachi 2:14-16; Matthew 19:3-9.

Summary Questions

How has this marriage series helped you and your spouse grow?

What do you think is your next step to continue to develop your relationship with your spouse?

How has this marriage series help you grow closer to God?

What do you think is your next step to continue to develop your relationship with Christ?

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