Verses UndoneASmallCollectionofPoems

Copyright©2017JamilaMikhail

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Love of a Soldier

IlookintohiseyesBeforeonelastgoodbyeAnotherkissonthelips

Andthat'sit

Nowyou'releavingYou'releaving

Iwon'tseeyouforayearIdon'tevenknowifyou'llcomebackhere

OneyearinIraqAndI'mnotsureyou'llcomeback

NomatterhowmanytimesIwishyouluckIstillmissyousomuch

EverydayIthinkaboutyouAndI'msureyouthinkaboutmetooIfellinlovewithatravellingsoldierAfteryougotherewillbenoother

WillIeverseeyouagain?Willyoucomehomeintheend?EverydayIliveinuncertainty

Despitethatyoutellmenottoworry

WillIhavetocarryyourcoffin?Tothecemetery,tobeburiedandforgotten

You'llbeoneofthemanyButyou'llalwaysbeapartofme

IwillalwaysrememberyouNomatterwhattheworldputsmethrough

YouaremyheroAndIwillalwaysloveyouso

The Secret

IhaveneverseenyourfaceIsitreallyapieceofsuchdisgrace?I'veonlyseenyoufrombehind,Whatisthissecretyoutrytohide?

ButthesecretsthatyouhideseemmorelikeliesbeingcoveredupSuchasthis

KeepingyourmouthshutBecausesomanythingsjustdon'tworkoutwhenyou'renotaroundWedon'tseemtoclicklikeweusedtoandit'sdrivingusfurtherapart

IthurtsmeintheheartRosesarered,violetsareblueIdidmybestatlovingyouThisfilthylittlesecret

Doyoutrustmeenoughtokeepit?YourlifeisabeautifuldenialOnwhichyoushallstandtrialBehindyourbeautifuleyes

Tellme,Whatisthissecretyoutrytohide?

Once Loved

ItmakesmesadtoseeyoulikethisItangersmethatyouhavetodothistoyourself

I'msickandtiredofhavingtowatchyoupassinfrontofthehouseAlmostunabletowalkastraightline

AllIseemtoseearethescarsonyourarmsAndthemarksaroundyourneck

YourdiscolouredlipsYourpalewhiteskin

ItkillsmetoseeyoudothisIdon'twanttoattendyourfuneral

ButitseemslikeI'llbeholdingyourlittlehandinyourcoffinsoonTearscomedownmycheekseverytimeIthinkofyou

I'veseenthemiraclesyoucouldmakeAndnowallIcanseeisallthepainyouhavetotake

ItmakesmesicktoseeyoulikethisYoursmileusedtotellmethatyouweredoingsowell

NowthetrackmarksonyourarmshaveanotherstorytotellIusedtoseeyoureyesshineinthesunlightNowyouneverleavethedarknessHowcouldyougobacktothis?

DestinywascallingyournameYouhadthewholeworldatyourfeet,waitingforyouNowyou'rebacktochasingdelusionswithfishingnets

You'resoclosetobreathingyourlastbreath,

Ican'tseemtoletyougobutourfriendshipwassomethingIwon'tsoonforgetYouweregreat

PleasanttobearoundIhopetheonesontheothersidetakeyouintotheirarms

AndgiveyoualltheloveyoucouldeverhavebeyondthisworldI'msadtoseethatyouhavetoendlikethisButIguessnowthere'snothingmoreIcansay

BecauseIdon'tknowwhenit'sgoingtobeyourlastday

ButuntilthenI'llmakesuretotellthegirlontheothersideofthemirrorThatIoncelovedher

I Hate

Ihateitwhenyou'rehereIhateitwhenyou'regone

IhatethewayIneedyouwhenyou'renotaroundIhatethewayIneedyouwhenIdon'tknowwhereyouare

IhateitwhenyousayyoulovemeIhateitbecauseIknowyoudon'treallymeanitIhateitwhenyousayyou'llalwaysbethereforme

Ihateitbecausewebothknowyou'renot

IhatethatIloveyouIhatethatIdo

IhatethatnomatterwhatIcan'thateyouIhatethewayyoucomfortme

IhatethewayitneverlastsIhatethethingsyousaytome

IhatethewayIcan'thelpbutbelievethemIhatethewayyouhurtme

IhatethewayIhurtmyselfIhatethewaytheblamealwaysendsuponme

IhatethethingsyoudotomeIhatethehappinessthatcomeswiththem

IhatemissingyouIhateitwhenyouignoreme

IhatethatIcan'ttellyouhowIfeelIhatethatyouhavebetterthingstodo

IhatethatI'myourlastpriorityIhatethatIfeelthisway

IhatethatIhavetolivelikethisIhatethatI'llhavetoreplaceyou

Ihatemakingdecisionsbecauseyoucan'tstepupIhatethewayyoumakemesmile

IhatethewayyoualwayshelpmewhenI'mindenial

Ihatethatyouthenhavetogoaway

IhatethatIhavetomissyouIhatethatIhavetoloveyou

IhatethatitfeelslikeyouwereneverhereIjusthateeverything

Ijusthateitall

From Life To Death

MybonestrembleMyheartbeatsfasterIcannotbreathe

Ifeelmytemperaturerise

AcrimeoffateThebreathoflife

LikehandsaroundmyneckThere'snothingIcando

CollapsetothefloorEverythingyouthoughtyouknew

LifeisslippingawayYouarenomore

MyheartfallstopiecesI'moutofbreath

MyeyesfillwithwaterThestruggleisover

DusttodustAshestoashesFromlifetodeathIwillnotforget

Calling All Scumbags

SittinginmydarkplacealoneIwonderwhatwentwrongNooneseemstoknow

Thereasonyouhavenosoul

StickakniferightthroughyourthroatAndletsomeoneelsetakeoathJustmakesureyougettherefirstForwhateverthatit'sworth

CallingallscumbagsBrokenpromisesandfilthylittleliesLetthefireigniteinyoureyesAndyoursicktwistedsmile

I'mcallingallscumbags

YoutookthebreathrightoutofmeYouleftawholewheremyheartshouldbe

I'msickandtiredofbeingangryIwantyoutodrowninmymisery

SadnessandhateTwoemotionsyoucan'treplace

IjustwishIcouldslapyouinthefaceForallthetimesyoufeltwithoutatrace

CallingallscumbagsBrokenpromisesandfilthylittleliesLetthefireigniteinyoureyesAndyoursicktwistedsmile

I'mcallingallscumbags

ToocowardlytoadmititYouworthlesspieceofshitGoandslityourwrist

You'reonescumbagIwillnotmiss

Nowit'sallcomingclearThatIdon'tneedyouhereAndinthisworldaroundmeI'mgladyoudisappeared

CallingallscumbagsBrokenpromisesandfilthylittleliesLetthefireigniteinyoureyesAndyoursicktwistedsmile

I'mcallingallscumbags

RemorseshouldhaveshownButohnoyourheartismadeofstoneBeneaththeteethhearthegroanYoucandieandrotalone

LetthesaltenterthewoundYourendiscomingsoon

Youdon'tknowwhatIcandoNoyoudon'thaveaclue

CallingallscumbagsBrokenpromisesandfilthylittleliesLetthefireigniteinyoureyesAndyoursicktwistedsmile

I'mcallingallscumbags

Nowdon'ttrytohideNowthattheworldismine

WheneverythingyouarefallsbehindIwantyoutochokewhenyouswallowyourpride

LightthefireandwalkawayOnedayyouwillpay

Untilthendon'tmakethepaingoawayNoyouscumbagmakeitstay

CallingallscumbagsBrokenpromisesandfilthylittleliesLetthefireigniteinyoureyesAndyoursicktwistedsmile

I'mcallingallscumbags

Thistimeyouwon'tbeheardYougreedylittlebastard

YouwillgetwhatyoudeserveYougreedylittlebastard

Youwillgetwhatyoudeserve

Murderous Poem

TheonlythingthatwouldmaketodayanyworstWouldbedrivingawayinahearseMyangerboilsdeepinsidemyveins

HowdoIgetitoutwithoutcausingpain?

InsidemybasementIwillhideTomakeupthismindofmine

OnwhetherIshouldputabulletinmygunOrjustforgetaboutthisandrun

MyinnerdemonsIshallseekSomymindcanhavepeaceAtlastyouwillbegoneforeverAndIshallsleepmuch,muchbetter

BesidemybedmyshotgunIwillkeepSoI'msafeatnightwhenIsleepAndifmyhouse,Ifindyouinside

Thecoroner'svanwillbeyournextride

Insanity

InsanityCrawlingintomeIntomyhead

I'mwishingIwasdeadThoughtsfillmybrainDrivingmeinsaneIdeasofsuicideAndwaystodieCorruptingmymindI'mgoinginsane

Ican'tsetthingsstraight

Shackles of Love

SomanythoughtskeepspinningaroundmyheadThegood,thebadandtheunknownThislonelinessandthisdesolation

Istheequivalentofsittinginmyheadallalone

SometimesIwishthatyoucouldjustleaveJustleaveandleavemealone

OthertimesI'dsewoursoulstogether

AllthatisleftofyounowarethescarsonmyheartIswearIwilltearitallapart!Icarvedyournameintomyarm

PromisingyouthatIwouldneverdoyouanyharm

IcarvedyournameintomysoulPromisingyouthatIwouldneverletyougo

Butyou'retheonethatletgoYouweretheonlygoodinme

NowlivingwithmyselfisallIhave.Doyouknowwhatitslike

Tolookatyourself,paralyzed?Thissoulisjustnogood

SoIcanbegyoutosavemeforallthatIam.Orbegyoutosavemeforthefuckofit.

IknowmylifewillendButIwon'tgivethislifeawayagain

Youbrokemytrust,shatteredmyexistence

SoliftupmysleevesandseethepatternofmycutsMyfleshisallIhave.Thislifeisnotenough!

YoucansaythatI'msocleverWhatever

I'mdonewiththesesendeavours

I'mneedingnoone'shelp,

I'mneedingonlyyouSometimesIcanstillfeelyourpresence

Itstilllingershere.SomedaysIgetsolonely

Thatthelonelinesswon'tleavemealoneSometimesithurtssobadthatIcan'tbreatheIcanonlytellmyselfthatyoustillloveme

ButIdon'tbelievemyownliesLikeIbelievedyours

Don'tyoumissthewaywewere?Wepromisedone-anotherthatwe'dloveeachotherforever

Foreverdidn'tlastverylongIguessthatintheenditdidn'treallymatterItdidn'tevenmatternomatterhowhardItriedYouslippedaway,andIdon'tknowwhy

EverytimeItrytolivewithoutyouIfeeldeadButIcan'tbreathewhenI'mwithyouSowhatarewereallydoinghere?

YouhesitatedAndnowIwishthatyouwouldjustgoaway

JustleavemehereforeverinthedarkWasthislovejustawasteoftime?

Iguessyou'llnevergettoseemyfaceagainAllthemiraclesyoutraced

Ican'texplainwhatitslikeTowonderifI'llevercrossyourmind

IlovedyousomuchithurtForwhateverthatitwasworth

Thiscan'tbeheaven,itfeelslikeI'mhellLookingoutthewindowintotheblowingsnowIneverthoughtthathellcouldbesocold

Justanotherhelplessplea,IbegyouIwillloveyou,forever

TheendJustdon'tleavemehereagain

I'veseenmyworldchangeAndhadtowatchitgobacktowhereitcame

IguessIwasjustanalternativeJustanotheroptionuntilthepastcamebackNowI'minsecondplaceforasecondchance

I'mtiredtochasingdelusionsAllIneedissomeonetobelieveinYoubroughtmebacktolife

Onlytoletmedie

Theysaythatthehigheryouare,thefartheryoufallYouseemedtoogoodtobetrueAndIguessyouweretoo

Butwhypullmeupandthentearmedown?IgaveyouallIhad

IgaveyouallIhadtogiveIguessIdiditallfornothingbecausenowthatyou'regoneaway

Youdidn'tevensaygoodbyetomeHopeislost

NowallIcandoisdrownawayinmyownmisery

IkeeptellingmyselfthatonedayyouwillburnThatonedayyouwillgetwhatyoudeserve

SomepeopleneverlearnSometimesIjustwanttomakeyouhurt

LikethewayIhurtIknowitssickbutitmakesmefeelbetter

SometimesIwishIhadneverevermetyouatallButallIcansaynowis

Don'tputyourlifeinsomeone'shandsthatboundtostealitawayWeweresupposedtoburntheworldtogether

ButyouwerethefireAndI'mtheonewhoburned

AllI'veeversaidwasthetruthAndyesIreallylovedyou

YoumustnotforgetthatIhurttooYousaidsuchsweetwordsUnlikeanythingIhadeverheard

ButIguessitwasjustacover-upforcorruptionandshameYouburneddownmyperfectlittleworld.

IneverthoughtIwascrazyUntilyoushowedup

IneverthoughtIcouldlove,neverthoughtIcouldtrust

YouprovedittomeonlytoproveittoyourselfThatyou'realwaysbetterthaneveryoneelse

ThedayscangoonforeverAndIwillneverleaveyourside

NothingcouldeverbringmebacktolifeSosaveyourlastgoodbyes

IusedtofeelsolovedNowI'mjustscrewedup

Youshouldn'tblameyourselfbecauseIguessIdeserveditAlthoughIneverthoughtI'dbelieveit

Thesesmillionsofmemoriesmakeupmymillionsofshattereddreams

IguessthateventhebrightestlightwillfadeawaytoblackIguessmylovejustwasn'tenoughForgivemeifIdonotunderstand

Onedaywe'llbelyingintheearthSidebyside

Butuntiltheendthere'sonlyonethingyoushouldknowJet'aimeraisjusqu'àlafindumonde

Until the End of Time

I'llbelonggoneandrottinginhellBeforeyousay"Iloveyou"tosomeoneelseIpromisedI'dloveyouuntilmydeathAndevenafterthanIwon'tbedoneyet

SoifyoudiebeforeIdoSomebodybettertellthecoronerhe'llhavetwoAroundmyneckI'llwearahangman'snooseBecauseIneverwanttobeawayfromyou

ThemomentIsawyourprettyfaceIknewitwasyouandnooneelse

InthatsamemomentwesealedourfateIpromisedtoneverleaveyoubyyourself

SoboyyoubetternevertellmegoodbyeBecauseIwon'tleaveyouevenwhenIdieIwanttohaveyourbodyburiednexttomineIwanttobewithyouuntiltheendoftime

Promise

IfIttakesforeverI’llfindyounomatterwhatTheendsoftheearth

The Complete Unknown

There'soneplacethatI'llnevercallmyhomeAndthat'stheverybottomofyoursoulInmylifeyouleftanemptyhole

IguesstherearesomethingsI'lljustneverknow

WhoamItotaketheblame?You'retheonewithalltheshameThisisjustlikeaburntoutflameIguessthingswillneverbethesame

IlearnedthethingsyounevershowedmeBecameallthethingsyou'dneverbe

MaybeonedayyouwillseeAllthispainandcatastrophe

Itookthechancesyou'dhaveblownYou'retheonewholeftmeallaloneSomanyofourstorieswillremainuntoldAndyouremainthecompleteunknown

Dear Father

IaddressthislettertomydearfatherThecompleteunknown

Iguessit'sbetterthatyoujustdon'tbotherAllyourtruthswillbeleftalone

I'mthedaughteryoucan'thidePrayforyourlifebeforeyouprayformine

I'mjusttheforgottenchildTheoneyouleftbehind

SomanyyearshavebeenignoredYou'vebeengonewithoutatraceI'mgettingtoknowingthat

You'rejustanamewithoutaface

AfatherwithoutasonIslikeabulletwithoutagun

Butwhataboutafatherwithouthisdaughter?Iguessyoucan'tspellmanslaughterwithoutlaughter

YouweremeantomakeithurtMakeitalldisappearintothedirtAllthethingsIhadtogothroughAndit'sallbecauseofyou

Doyoufeelanyshame?BecauseIfeelalotofpain

TakethetimetotakemybreathIwillendwhereIbegan

Ifyou'reouttheresomewhereIdon'tknowifyoucareItseemslikeyoudon't

Soyouremainthecompleteunknown

Allwehad,goneforeverThingsthatyousaidwouldneverbeLivingwithoutyoudon'tbotherme

Yourstruly,Yourdaughter

The Red

There'snothingthat'sgonnastopmeThere'snothingthat'sgonnastopme

InsanityInsanity

MyblooddripsonthefloorIt'sred

BackwhereIwasbeforeIt'sallinmyheadThoughtsofsuicide

HidingallthetearsIkeepinside

InsanityInsanity

CrawlingintomeIntomyheadAllIseeisred

IjustwishIwasdeadIt'sallredIt'sallredAllIseeisredIt'sallinmyhead

Red

ThecalmBeforethestormThoughtsOfsuicide

SomanywaystodieForgetaboutme

Youdon'tmeananythingtome

InsanityInsanity

CrawlingintomeIntomyheadAllIseeisred

IjustwishIwasdead

It'sallredIt'sallredAllIseeisredIt'sallinmyhead

Red

YourdrivingmeinsaneYourdrivingmeinsaneCorruptingmymindCorruptingmymindLookinside

It'sallredIt'sallred

InsidemyheadYoucan'tstopme

LookattheredComingdownmyarm

AllthescarsAllthescars

Fromwhenyoubrokemyheart

InsanityInsanity

CrawlingintomeIntomyheadAllIseeisred

IjustwishIwasdeadIt'sallredIt'sallredAllIseeisredIt'sallinmyhead

Red

TheredcreepingintomeThered

IsallthatIseeGiveintotheredGiveintotheredGiveintothered

My Best Friend

WhenIthinkofyouIhaveasmileonmyfaceYouaremybestfriend

InnermostInnermost is a collection of both free verse and fixed verse poetry written over a period of half a decade about every emotion felt inside the human heart. These poems will transport you to a whole other world within the innermost depths of the human soul.

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