Unit 4 SeminarUnit 4 Seminar

Body Language and Body Language and Nonverbal Communication Nonverbal Communication

Importance of Nonverbal Importance of Nonverbal CommunicationCommunication

Up to 85% Up to 85% of communication of communication is nonverbal!is nonverbal!

What you NOTICE can What you NOTICE can greatlygreatly help help you understand the other person and you understand the other person and navigate discussion accordinglynavigate discussion accordingly

OBSERVATION SKILLS ARE IMPORTANT, BECAUSE…

Verbals can be contrasted by nonverbals Verbals can be contrasted by nonverbals (incongruency)(incongruency) which which reveal reveal the the other other person’s person’s truetrue feelingsfeelings……

… …or supported by nonverbals or supported by nonverbals (congruency) (congruency) which accentuate the person’s feelingswhich accentuate the person’s feelings

Observation cObservation can an help you help you bridge bridge individual, cultural, and/or gender individual, cultural, and/or gender differencesdifferences

Nonverbal communication cues Nonverbal communication cues can play five roles: can play five roles:

RepetitionRepetition: they can repeat the message the person is : they can repeat the message the person is making verbally making verbally

ContradictionContradiction: they can contradict a message the : they can contradict a message the individual is trying to convey individual is trying to convey

Substitution:Substitution: they can substitute for a verbal message. they can substitute for a verbal message. For example, a person's eyes can often convey a far more For example, a person's eyes can often convey a far more vivid message than words and often do vivid message than words and often do

ComplementingComplementing: they may add to or complement a verbal : they may add to or complement a verbal message. A boss who pats a person on the back in addition message. A boss who pats a person on the back in addition to giving praise can increase the impact of the message to giving praise can increase the impact of the message

Accenting: Accenting: they may accent or underline a verbal they may accent or underline a verbal message. Pounding the table, for example, can underline a message. Pounding the table, for example, can underline a message. message.

Nonverbal communication and Nonverbal communication and body language in relationships body language in relationships It takes more than words to create fulfilling, It takes more than words to create fulfilling,

strong relationships. Nonverbal communication strong relationships. Nonverbal communication has a huge impact on the quality of our has a huge impact on the quality of our relationships. Nonverbal communication skills relationships. Nonverbal communication skills improve relationships by helping you:improve relationships by helping you:

Accurately read other people, including the Accurately read other people, including the emotions they’re feeling and the unspoken emotions they’re feeling and the unspoken messages they’re sending. messages they’re sending.

Create trust and transparency in relationships by Create trust and transparency in relationships by sending nonverbal signals that match up with your sending nonverbal signals that match up with your words. words.

Respond with nonverbal cues that show others Respond with nonverbal cues that show others that you understand, notice, and care. that you understand, notice, and care.

For discussionFor discussion When  you picture people you talk to When  you picture people you talk to

on the telephone, through email or in on the telephone, through email or in newsgroups (such as in your Kaplan newsgroups (such as in your Kaplan class) before meeting them face to class) before meeting them face to face, does your expectation of how face, does your expectation of how they will look usually turn out to be they will look usually turn out to be accurate? accurate?

Types of nonverbal Types of nonverbal communication and body communication and body

language language Facial expressions Facial expressions Body movements and posture Body movements and posture Gestures Gestures Eye contact Eye contact Touch Touch SpaceSpace Voice Voice

It’s not what you say, it’s It’s not what you say, it’s howhow you say it you say it

IntensityIntensity. A reflection of the amount of energy . A reflection of the amount of energy you project is considered your intensity. Again, you project is considered your intensity. Again, this has as much to do with what feels good to this has as much to do with what feels good to the other person as what you personally prefer. the other person as what you personally prefer.

Timing and paceTiming and pace. Your ability to be a good . Your ability to be a good listener and communicate interest and listener and communicate interest and involvement is impacted by timing and pace. involvement is impacted by timing and pace.

Sounds that convey understandingSounds that convey understanding. Sounds . Sounds such as “ahhh, ummm, ohhh,” uttered with such as “ahhh, ummm, ohhh,” uttered with congruent eye and facial gestures, communicate congruent eye and facial gestures, communicate understanding and emotional connection. More understanding and emotional connection. More than words, these sounds are the language of than words, these sounds are the language of interest, understanding and compassion. interest, understanding and compassion.

For discussionFor discussion How are nonverbal cues displayed in How are nonverbal cues displayed in

computer mediated communication computer mediated communication (emails and newsgroups)? (emails and newsgroups)? 

What To Observe What To Observe In The Other Person’s In The Other Person’s

NonverbalNonverbal Communication Communication

Notice Notice Body Body LanguageLanguage

How to Use Body Language How to Use Body Language EffectivelyEffectively

USEUSE::• MirroringMirroring

• assume posture and movements of other personassume posture and movements of other person• PacingPacing: :

• start with mirroring, then move to more positive start with mirroring, then move to more positive posture/movementposture/movement

OBSERVE:OBSERVE:• When mWhen movement ovement is is synchronsynchronousous

• mirroring one another’s movementsmirroring one another’s movements• When mWhen movement ovement is is complementarcomplementaryy: :

• harmonious movementsharmonious movements• When mWhen movement ovement is is dissynchrondissynchronousous

• differing movements that might show conflictdiffering movements that might show conflict

Notice Facial ExpressionNotice Facial Expression• incongruent smilingincongruent smiling• look of confusion or being lostlook of confusion or being lost• expressionless or flat affectexpressionless or flat affect• affect demonstrating various moods or emotionsaffect demonstrating various moods or emotions• blood flow changes blood flow changes (e.g.(e.g. blushing or growing blushing or growing palepale))

• avoiding eye contact, inconsistent eye avoiding eye contact, inconsistent eye contact, or intense staringcontact, or intense staring

• ggrimacingrimacing, , frowningfrowning• eyes welling upeyes welling up• tightening of lipstightening of lips• agreement, understanding, connection, agreement, understanding, connection, excitementexcitement

Notice Eye MovementsNotice Eye Movements Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP)

suggests that there is a link between suggests that there is a link between the way our eyes move and the way we thinkthe way our eyes move and the way we think

In NLP, eye movements are known as eye accessing In NLP, eye movements are known as eye accessing cues—they enable us to access certain informationcues—they enable us to access certain information

Noticing eye movements can help us to understand Noticing eye movements can help us to understand how a person relates to the world—i.e. visually, how a person relates to the world—i.e. visually, auditorily, or kinesthetically—and communicate with auditorily, or kinesthetically—and communicate with them according to THEIR representational systemsthem according to THEIR representational systems

Eye Accessing CuesEye Accessing Cues Looking up, or defocusing, usually represents Looking up, or defocusing, usually represents

visual accessing visual accessing

Looking sideways usually represents auditory Looking sideways usually represents auditory accessingaccessing

Looking down to the right (your left as you face the Looking down to the right (your left as you face the person) usually person) usually represents kinesthetic accessingrepresents kinesthetic accessing

Looking down to the left (your right as you face the Looking down to the left (your right as you face the person) usually represents an internal dialogueperson) usually represents an internal dialogue

Applying accessing cuesApplying accessing cues For those visually accessing, respond in terms of For those visually accessing, respond in terms of

SEEINGSEEING ““This is how you see it…”This is how you see it…” ““I see what you mean”I see what you mean”

For those auditorily accessing, respond in terms of For those auditorily accessing, respond in terms of HEARINGHEARING

““It sounds like you aren’t happy with that grade”It sounds like you aren’t happy with that grade” ““I hear what you’re saying”I hear what you’re saying”

For those kinesthetically accessing, respond in For those kinesthetically accessing, respond in terms of FEELINGterms of FEELING

““That must feel awful”That must feel awful” ““I feel happy for you”I feel happy for you”

For discussionFor discussion What do nonverbal cues such as What do nonverbal cues such as

typos, slang, spelling errors, typos, slang, spelling errors, incomplete sentences, and poor incomplete sentences, and poor sentence structure communicate to sentence structure communicate to the receiver about the sender? the receiver about the sender?

Improving your nonverbal Improving your nonverbal communication skills communication skills

Video cameraVideo camera – Videotape a conversation between you – Videotape a conversation between you and a partner. Set the camera to record both of you at the and a partner. Set the camera to record both of you at the same time, so you can observe the nonverbal back-and-same time, so you can observe the nonverbal back-and-forth. When you watch the recording, focus on any forth. When you watch the recording, focus on any discrepancies between your verbal and nonverbal discrepancies between your verbal and nonverbal communication. communication.

Digital cameraDigital camera – Ask someone to take a series of photos – Ask someone to take a series of photos of you while you’re talking to someone else. As you look of you while you’re talking to someone else. As you look through the photos, focus on you and the other person’s through the photos, focus on you and the other person’s body language, facial expressions, and gestures. body language, facial expressions, and gestures.

Audio recorderAudio recorder – Record a conversation between you and – Record a conversation between you and a friend or family member. As you listen to the recording a friend or family member. As you listen to the recording afterwards, concentrate on the way things are said, rather afterwards, concentrate on the way things are said, rather than the words. Pay attention to tone, timing, pace, and than the words. Pay attention to tone, timing, pace, and other sounds. other sounds.

Tips for successful nonverbal Tips for successful nonverbal communication: communication:

Take a time out if you’re feeling overwhelmed by stress.Take a time out if you’re feeling overwhelmed by stress. Stress Stress compromises your ability to communicate. When you’re stressed out, compromises your ability to communicate. When you’re stressed out, you’re more likely to misread other people, send off confusing or off-you’re more likely to misread other people, send off confusing or off-putting nonverbal signals, and lapse into unhealthy knee-jerk patterns putting nonverbal signals, and lapse into unhealthy knee-jerk patterns of behavior. Take a moment to calm down before you jump back into of behavior. Take a moment to calm down before you jump back into the conversation. Once you’ve regained your emotional equilibrium, the conversation. Once you’ve regained your emotional equilibrium, you’ll be better equipped to deal with the situation in a positive way. you’ll be better equipped to deal with the situation in a positive way.

Pay attention to inconsistencies.Pay attention to inconsistencies. Nonverbal communication should Nonverbal communication should reinforce what is being said. If you get the feeling that someone isn’t reinforce what is being said. If you get the feeling that someone isn’t being honest or that something is “off,” you may be picking up on a being honest or that something is “off,” you may be picking up on a mismatch between verbal and nonverbal cues. Is the person is saying mismatch between verbal and nonverbal cues. Is the person is saying one thing, and their body language something else? For example, are one thing, and their body language something else? For example, are they telling you “yes” while shaking their head no? they telling you “yes” while shaking their head no?

Look at nonverbal communication signals as a group.Look at nonverbal communication signals as a group. Don’t read Don’t read too much into a single gesture or nonverbal cue. Consider all of the too much into a single gesture or nonverbal cue. Consider all of the nonverbal signals you are sending and receiving, from eye contact to nonverbal signals you are sending and receiving, from eye contact to tone of voice and body language. Are your nonverbal cues consistent—tone of voice and body language. Are your nonverbal cues consistent—or inconsistent—with what you are trying to communicate?or inconsistent—with what you are trying to communicate?

SOMESOMECULTURAL CULTURAL DIFFERENCESDIFFERENCES

Eye Contact and GazeEye Contact and GazeWestern cultures:Western cultures:

Direct eye contact seen as positiveDirect eye contact seen as positive Differs for some racesDiffers for some races

African American—more eye contact when talking, less when African American—more eye contact when talking, less when listeninglistening

Anglo Americans—often the oppositeAnglo Americans—often the opposite Prolonged eye contact may be seen as sexual interestProlonged eye contact may be seen as sexual interest

Arabic cultures:Arabic cultures: Prolonged eye contact is commonProlonged eye contact is common

Shows interestShows interest Helps them understand truthfulnessHelps them understand truthfulness

Japan, African, Latin American, & Caribbean cultures:Japan, African, Latin American, & Caribbean cultures: Avoid eye contact to show respectAvoid eye contact to show respect

Facial ExpressionsFacial ExpressionsMany Asian cultures:Many Asian cultures:

Suppress facial expression Suppress facial expression as much as possibleas much as possible

Many Mediterranean culturesMany Mediterranean culturesExaggerate grief or sadnessExaggerate grief or sadness

Most American menMost American men Hide grief and sorrowHide grief and sorrow

TouchTouchWestern CulturesWestern Cultures

Handshake is commonHandshake is common Hugs, kisses for those of opposite gender, familyHugs, kisses for those of opposite gender, family Some differences between African American & Anglo AmericansSome differences between African American & Anglo Americans

Islamic/Hindu culturesIslamic/Hindu cultures Typically don’t touch with left handTypically don’t touch with left hand Generally don’t touch between genders; with same sexes is appropriateGenerally don’t touch between genders; with same sexes is appropriate Common to see two men or two women holding hands (friendship)Common to see two men or two women holding hands (friendship)

Many Asian culturesMany Asian cultures Don’t touch the head because it houses the soulDon’t touch the head because it houses the soul

Latino, Middle-Eastern, & Jewish culturesLatino, Middle-Eastern, & Jewish cultures Touch is okay—emotion encouragedTouch is okay—emotion encouraged Opposite-sex handshakes acceptable; usually same-sexOpposite-sex handshakes acceptable; usually same-sex

English, German, Scandinavian, Chinese & Japanese culturesEnglish, German, Scandinavian, Chinese & Japanese cultures Do not subscribe to overt displays of affectionDo not subscribe to overt displays of affection

PosturePosture BowingBowing

Not done, criticized, or affected in USNot done, criticized, or affected in US Shows rank in JapanShows rank in Japan

SlouchingSlouching Rude in most Northern European areasRude in most Northern European areas

Hands in pocketHands in pocket Disrespectful in TurkeyDisrespectful in Turkey

Sitting with legs crossedSitting with legs crossed Offensive in Ghana, TurkeyOffensive in Ghana, Turkey

Showing the soles of feetShowing the soles of feet Distasteful in Thailand, Saudi ArabiaDistasteful in Thailand, Saudi Arabia

Personal SpacePersonal Space In this picture we see a woman's In this picture we see a woman's

reactions as her personal space is reactions as her personal space is invaded by three other people. What invaded by three other people. What will happen? will happen?

a.a. She will ask them to sit somewhere else

b. b. She will stare at the space "invaders" defiantly, but she will not move

c. She will leave, saying nothing to c. She will leave, saying nothing to the three people who invaded her the three people who invaded her personal spacepersonal space

Appearance and Self-ImageAppearance and Self-Image This man comes from a culture This man comes from a culture

where HEAVIER women are seen as where HEAVIER women are seen as more attractive. Can you guess more attractive. Can you guess where he comes from? where he comes from?

a. Jamaicaa. Jamaicab. New Guineab. New Guineac. Ivory Coast c. Ivory Coast

While traveling in another country, While traveling in another country, this American woman stayed with a this American woman stayed with a local family. She was honored by local family. She was honored by being served the 'best part' of the being served the 'best part' of the dinner: a bowl of solid, coagulated dinner: a bowl of solid, coagulated chicken blood. Can you guess the chicken blood. Can you guess the country she was visiting? country she was visiting?

a. Greenlanda. Greenlandb. Vietnamb. Vietnamc. Uruguay c. Uruguay

Can you guess the meaning of this Can you guess the meaning of this Japanese gesture? Japanese gesture?

a. I'm scared like a bunnya. I'm scared like a bunnyb. I've been hearing things about youb. I've been hearing things about youc. I'm angry c. I'm angry

In this picture, an experienced flight In this picture, an experienced flight attendant demonstrates a facial attendant demonstrates a facial expression she uses at work. Is she expression she uses at work. Is she performing genuine warmth, or is it performing genuine warmth, or is it concealed irritation? concealed irritation?

a. Genuine Warmtha. Genuine Warmthb. Concealed Irritation b. Concealed Irritation