Uncle Andy's Digest

UNCLE ANDY’S DIGESTOCTOBER 2010The Most Unusual Digest in AmericaFREE

Call Dan Dumont for your FREE Estimate!

31 Blake St. Lewiston

782-7113

THE BEST THINGSIN LIFE ARE

138 Main Street, South Paris744-0290 • 1 800 686-7633 • www.creaserjewelers.com

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ELECTRICAL SYSTEMS OF MAINEELECTRICAL CONTRACTORS

1200 Minot Ave., Auburn • 783-7126

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783-7039

Uncle Andy’s Digest...with

Jimbo & Travis

OCTOBER 20102

Uncle Andy is wondering how he can remember lyrics to a song he hasn't heard since1986. But then can't remember why he just walked into the kitchen.

Life is too short to worry about what others say or think about you. So have fun and give them something to talk about.

MathematicallySpeaking

Submitted by Jimbo

Rushing to work, I wasdriving too fast and asa result was pulledover by the highwaypatrol. The statetrooper noticed that myshirt had the name of alocal high school on it."I teach math there," Iexplained.

The trooper smiled,and said, "Okay, here'sa problem. A teacher isspeeding down thehighway at 16 m.p.h.over the limit. At $12for every mile, plus $40court costs, plus therise in her insurance,what's her total cost?"

I replied, "Taking thattotal, subtracting thelow salary I receive,multiplying by the num-ber of kids who hatemath, then adding tothat the fact that noneof us would be any-where without teach-ers, I'd say zero."

He handed me backmy license. "Math wasnever my favorite sub-ject," he admitted."Please slow down."

In 1775, representa-tives from the 13 original colonies signeda petition (the OliveBranch Petition) toKing George III as afinal attempt to avoid acomplete break of theU.S. colonies fromEngland. 786-3731

Pelletier’s Karate AcademyI-35 Taylor Hill Road • Lewiston (1-1/2 miles past Marden’s)

Email: [email protected] • www.pelletierskarate.com

MEMBER: NATIONAL ASSOCIATION OF PROFESSIONAL MARTIAL ARTISTS

Free intro to Karate for kids

Wednesday, Oct., 20th4:30-5:15

Call for more information

FREE Womens Self Defense Class

Wednesday, Oct. 27th7:30 - 8:30pm

Call for more info


Jimbo & Travis

OCTOBER 2010 3783-7039

Jimbo has learned that pleasing everyone is too hard, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake.

Why is it after I push ONE for English I still can't understand the person on the other end?

800-561-8506Oxford/Auburn

MODERN WOODMEN OF AMERICA

OCTOBER 2010October 1st thru October 31stPumpkin Land (Chapter 10589). 125 Pigeon Hill Rd (Rt26) Mechanic FallsAdults $6.50. Kids $7.00 (includeshaunted hayride and pumpkin)

Saturday, Oct 2Holy Cross KC Bean Supper (Chapter14346). 607 Lisbon St, Lewiston.4 – 6pm. $4.50/Member. $6/Guest

Tuesday, Oct 5Sam’s (Chapter 8609) Market Place Mall,Lewiston. Noon to 7:00pm. $3.50 perMember. $4.50 per Guest

Tuesday, Oct 12Dairy Queen (Chapter 12907) 661 Minot Ave, Auburn. 4 – 7pm. $4/Member, $4.75/Guest

Wednesday, Oct 20Chick-A-Dee (Chapter 14346) Rt 4, Turner. 4:00pm – 7:00pm. $7.50 per Member, $8.50 per Guest

Sunday, Oct 24KC Breakfast (Chapter 7938) ColumbusDrive, Brunswick. 8:00am – 10:00am.$4/Member $5/Guest, Child / 10 free

Tuesday, Oct 26Dubois Café Breakfast (Chapter 14437)906 Sabattus St, Lewiston. 7:00am – 10:00am. $3.50 per Member, $4.50 per Guest

Wednesday, Oct 27Pizza Hut LUNCH (Chapter 10929). Rt 26 St, Norway. 11:30am – 1:00pm.$5.00 per Member, $6.00 per GuestPlease Note: Dates, Prices and Menu areSubject to Change without Notice

Dates and Prices are subject to changeTickets need to be purchased at the ModernWoodmen District Office, 184 Webster Street,Lewiston for all activities and can only bepicked up the week prior to the activity, Mon - Thurs from 9:00am - 4:00pm (excluding Holidays). FMI call 782-1833.

Auburn Office Activities Saturday, October 23Georgio’s, Minot Ave., Auburn$2.50 off your menu choice

Sunday, October 248:30-10:00am. Crepe Breakfast. St. Louis Parish Hall, Auburn. Adults $2.50 12 & under Free

Thursday, October 285:30-7:00pm. Cooking with WholeGrains-Make your own Dough. Delicious Bread SamplesFirst Congregational Church. 17 E Main St. South Paris.

Wednesday, November 3Maineiacs Hockey Tickets$6 per ticket-limited number availableTickets must be picked up @ MWA67 Minot Ave., Auburn, or you may call Mon-Thur, 9:00am to 5:00pm; at 207-783-8804 or 1-800-561-8506

783-7039


Jimbo & Travis

OCTOBER 20104

Uncle Andy wants to know how the heck does paper beat rock? Stand in front of me and Iʼll throw a rock at you while you protect yourself with a piece of paper.

Why complify things when you can keep them simplicated!

Uncle Andy’s Digestis published by the first

Friday of every month byMaine Mountain Ocean

Group, Inc. with offices at 9 Grove Street, Auburn, ME.

It is distributed free through-out Central Maine and mailed

to subscribers all over theworld. Subscriptions are

$30/year. Send a $30 checkmade out to

Uncle Andy’s Digest to: P.O. Box 3363,

Auburn, ME 04212

Uncle Andy’s

DigestMAILING ADDRESS:

PO Box 3363Auburn, ME 04212

E-MAIL:

[email protected]

PHONE: 207 783-7039FAX: 207 777-3898

www.UncleAndys.com

OCTOBER 2010 Staff

UNCLE ANDYChip & Putting King

JIMBOBanana Curl Master

Travis Dow

Driving the Green

Maggie Joyce

Keeping Score

Marty DowGolf Guru

Michele FarrarBirdie told Her

Affordable Dentures • Flexible Payment Plans • Credit/Debit CardsMost Dental Insurances Accepted

801 Webster Street, Lewiston

[email protected]

Quality Customized Denture WorkFREE CONSULTATIONS

Smile Again Dentures

Joe & Mike Adkins

Poorly fitting or broken dentures repaired on-site, usually same-day service!

Uncle Andy’s Digestis not responsible for

typographical errors that may occurin advertisements.

The Dust Bunnies have taken the Cleaning Fairy hostage and Mr. Clean quit on me afterthe Scrubbing Bubbles accidentally drowned Snuggles in the bath tub!

Mon – Sat 5 am – 2 pm Sunday 7 am – noon

87 Mill St.New Auburn753-0171

(for take-out)

• Unusual Omelettes• Crepes• Breakfast All Day• Extensive Menu

Breakfast & Lunch Specials Daily

Just good cookin’ and plenty of it!

Rolly’s Diner

What a great way to start my 80th birthday… a super

breakfast at Rolly’s!

Loretta Boshey & Monique Jalbert (the Birthday Girl)


Jimbo & Travis

OCTOBER 2010 5783-7039

Jimbo to Uncle Andy: If you can't laugh at yourself...I WILL!

Morning people say: "Early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy, andwise." Night people say: "Anybody who goes to bed the same day they got up is a quitter."

Signs - Theyʼreeverywhere

783-7039


Jimbo & Travis

OCTOBER 20106

My biggest problem is that I believe almost everything I tell myself. – Uncle Andy

My "check engine" light came on the other day. I popped the hood, and looked, the engine is STILL there! Silly light.

Out & About at The Cage’s Annual

Pig RoastI’m so happy

I feel like singing...

ONCE...

TWICE...

THREE TIMES A LADY!

Rodney & Michelle

Norm, Michelle & Rodney

Iʼm happier than a turtle on an

escalator!

FOR YOUTH DEVELOPMENTFOR HEALTHY LIVINGFOR SOCIAL RESPONSIBILITY

AUBURN-LEWISTON YMCA62 TURNER STREET, AUBURN(Next to the county building)

795-4095 • www.alymca.orgLike the Auburn-Lewiston YMCA on Facebook!

OPEN HOUSE WEEK October 11th-16thTry the Y for FREE all week

2 week trial memberships for those new to the Y*

Includes group exercise classes, fitness center, pool usage & gym*Must stop by during open house week

UPCOMING EVENTS & ACTIVITIESOct. 8th Family Fun Night (please pre-register)Oct. 19th Home School Sports Gym Class

(Tuesdays 1:30-2:30pm)Oct. 18th Kids & Family Programing, (ages 18 months & up)

– Register today for Session (2) Starting Nov. 1st.:– Messy play • Tumbling • Little chefs • Storytime movement

Oct. 18th Swim lessons, (ages 6 months & up) Registration for Session (2)begins today. Classes start Nov. 1st– We also offer Adult Lap Swim, Water Exercise, & Family Swims

Oct. 30th Halloween Party - 3-5pm (please pre-register)

YOUTH BASKETBALLRegister today!

• SKILLS & DRILLS: Ages 4-6, starts Oct. 18th

• ROOKIES: Grades K-1, starts Nov. 6th

• BIDDY LEAGUE: Grades 2-6, starts Nov. 6th


Jimbo & Travis

OCTOBER 2010 7783-7039

Often, the only way to comfort the suffering is to understand that you can't understand and just be there.

My house was clean last week. Sorry you missed it.

Affordable! Really!

“Maine’s Most Affordable Senior Living Center”

#433 Rt. 202, PO Box 629, Greene

946-3007www.mainemeadows.com

Three meals a day Plus snacksWeekly housekeeping - 24 hour call buttonsTransportation to doctors appointments & shopping

All for $1,300 per month!

Openings Available Now! Call for a tour

today!!

Open daily 11am – 9pm365 Sabattus St., Lewiston

Mon: 2-14” Pizzas & Pint of Fries $18

Tues: Buy 2 Ham or Salami Italians, get 3rd FREE

Wed: FREE Quart of Fries with purchase of a Jumbo 17” Pizza

Thur: FREE Cup of Friesw/ any 10” Pizza

Fri: Fried Dough… $2

Sat: 2 Cheese Slices & Cup of Fries… $4.49

Sun: Cheese Camzone… $4.25

WEEKLY SPECIALS

777-1911

Brycin Burger3/4 lb. Double

Cheeseburgerw/ OOB Fries

$5.59w/ coupon

Expires 10/30/10

• Plenty of off-streetparking

• Plenty of seatingin our dining room

Hurricane Soups are back!Haddock, Clam & Corn


Pig Roast

Jayce

Michelle, Gerard & Veronica

Norm & Mark

Rachel

On a display of "I love you only" Valentine cards: Now available in multi-packs.

Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most. – Uncle Andy

Oh Lord, help me to keep my big mouth shut until I know what I'm talking about.

Name Calling

On my first day in basictraining, we were linedup in a row, each of usin turn having to shoutour last names.

After the guy next tome had yelled, "Flo-rence," it was my turn.

I had no sooner calledout my name when thetraining instructor wasin my face, demandingto know if I was somekind of smart aleck.

Satisfied that I wasn't,the red-faced TI toldme never to stand nextto that guy again.

~ By Charles W.Nightingale


Jimbo & Travis

OCTOBER 2010 9783-7039 One good thing about being wrong is the joy it brings to others.

On a front door: Everyone on the premises is a vegetarian except the dog. Yearly ExamSubmitted by

Brenda Tarmey

I went to the doctor formy yearly physical.The nurse started withcertain basics.

"How much do youweigh?" she asked.

"135," I said. The nurseput me on the scale. Itturns out my weight is180.

The nurse asked, "Yourheight?"

"5 foot 5," I said.The nurse checkedand saw that I onlymeasure 5' 2".

She then took myblood pressure andtold me that it is veryhigh.

"Of course it's high!" Iscreamed, When Icame in here I was talland slender! Now I'mshort and overweight!"

During a friendly argu-ment, my husbandasked me why I mar-ried him in the firstplace. "I was just stu-pid," I teased. When hesaid he was happy tohear that, I requestedan explanation.

"People get divorcedall the time becausethey fall out of love," hesaid. "But I've neverheard of anybodyfalling out of stupid."

ATTENTION MECHANICS

3 Bay Garagewith lifts for rent

Route 4Turner

Lots of traffic, very busy location.Very reasonable rent.

754-5994

783-7039


Jimbo & Travis

OCTOBER 201010

One good thing about forgetting is that you can no longer worry about what ever it was you forgot.

One half of the world will never understand the other half, and it doesn't matter which half you're in.

Open 7 Days a Week 9am-5pm72 Lisbon St., in Lisbon

New Native Produce Arriving Daily

• Fresh vegetables • Fresh Picked Apples • Cider• Fresh Cheese• Smiling Hill Farms milk...and more!

& Farm Stand Fresh homemade pies, bread &

donuts on the weekends!

EBT Accepted

DR. MICHAEL METAYER, O.D.

Auburn Mall Eye Care550 Center Street, Auburn (inside the Auburn Mall)

(207) 782-5030

Eye Exams & Contact Lenses!

for the whole family

784-367672 Marston Hill Rd., Auburn

How Do I Get Rid of Fleas?

PawsInMotionGrooming.com

CALL THE FLEA FUNERAL SPECIALISTS!

PAWS IN MOTIONGROOMING

dealerworxautosales.com

FREE MaintenanceINSPECTION

on VW & Audi’swith this coupon

Appointment requiredExpires 10/30/10

AUDI & VW SALES & SERVICE

1164 Minot Ave., Auburn • 753-9810

Out & About at L-A Harley for the 9/11 Remembrance Ceremony

An earthquake on Dec. 16, 1811 caused parts of the Mississippi River to flow backwards!


Jimbo & Travis

OCTOBER 2010 11783-7039

AUTOMOTIVE GUIDE

One of the most important things a father can do for his children is to love their mother.

Diamond Snowplows

1175 Minot Ave. • Auburn, ME 04210207-783-8548 • www.morrisontruck.net

Morrison & Sylvester, Inc.


Pig Roast

Tim & Adrian Mercier

Diane & Don Webber

Just callme Jim

I was thinking James, or Jimbo, orJimmy. Jim it is...

783-7039


Jimbo & Travis

OCTOBER 201012One time a windshield wiper will work properly is when it is holding a parking ticket.

One reason why computers can do more work than people is that they never have to stop and answer the phone.

www.emersoThe Back Forty O


Jimbo & Travis

OCTOBER 2010 13783-7039

Our backgrounds and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.

One who looks for a friend without faults will have none.

ontoyota.comOctober Specials

These deals and a whole

lot more!

783-7039


Jimbo & Travis

OCTOBER 201014

Quoting one is plagiarism. Quoting many is research. – Uncle Andy said this back in 1996

Our five senses are incomplete without the sixth - a sense of humor.

On the other hand, you have different fingers.

Quality Service at an Affordable Price!

250 Broad Street in New Auburn • 783-4933 • www.majorauto.netMAJOR AUTOMOTIVENEW

RonAdv. Master Tech

RickOwner

JeremyTechnician

JoshuaTechnician

We are a complete autoservice shop

Don GilksOperations Manager

• Diagnostic Specialists• Tires & Tire Service• Complete A/C Service

• State Inspections• Full Brake Service• Alignments

• Much, muchmore!

OUT ʻN ABOUT WITH MIAMI MIKEDigesters, digesters, digesters…. you are currently reading the newest volume of Uncle AndyʼsDigest. Yes, I know what you are thinking, “Thank you Captain Obvious”. No I am not CaptainObvious, but he is possibly my Uncle, and Iʼm your Miami Mike. Football season is here andTom Brady has made it through at least 1 full game which is twice as much as he played 2 yearsago year, not to mention he is now the highest paid football player in the world… a long wayfrom his college gridiron days. This picture is in front of the University of Louisville Footballstadium. I was in Kentucky for the NBL BMX National Championship and you know I neverleave home without an Uncle Andyʼs Digest andnor should you! I did quite well, winning theRookie 17+ National Championship, but I thinknext year I will stop by Central Maine PowerSports, they will be able to slip something be-tween my thunder thighs that has a few moreponies than I could ever muster on a one speedbicycle and increase my chances for a repeat. IfIʼm feeling my moxie, Iʼll might even run by SureStart and get a remote starter on my new littletoy, and you know it will come in handy for thosecold Miami winter nights. Once again Digest Na-tion I bid you ado…. until the next volume!

Formality

Frequent hand washing in myjob as a medical technologistand the harsh weather com-bined give me very dry skin.

One night as I prepared forbed, I rubbed my hands withpetroleum jelly and coveredthem with an old pair of whitegloves. As I sat in bed readinga book with my gloves on, myhusband finished showeringand came into the room wear-ing a towel.

Drying himself off, he went tothe closet, selected a tie andput it on.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"Well" he replied, "if you aregoing to be formal, so am I."


Jimbo & Travis

OCTOBER 2010 15783-7039

Remember, your relatives had no choice in the matter either.

Reputation is made in a moment: character is built in a lifetime.

Lifetime Warranty • Free EstimatesFree Pickup and Delivery

459 Washington Street in Auburn • 878-9088 • www.rennen.us

VW & AUDI SERVICESee us for

Timing Belt &Brake Specials

Mike Morin’s Auto Center1122 Center St., Auburn • 753-0433

“A proud member of the Napa Auto Care Team.”

Complimentary Coffee & Donuts while you wait • FREE Shuttle Service In L/A

• Expert service & highest quality

• Accurate diagnosis of problems

• Fair & honest quotes

• Great customer service

• Full service garage, no problem too big or too small

• Best of the best 10 years running for automotive service

Top 6 reasons to choose Mike Morin’s

Cobalt blue & silver, air ride seat,GPS, AM/FM stereo, extra

chrome, 2 windshields

2006 Harley-Davidson Ultra ClassicFOR SALE AT MIKE MORIN’S

ONLY $18,500

The Farmer’s

Almanac predicts a very cold winter...

Get your FREE winterization

check here!

Weighing InSubmitted by Jimbo

Our Lamaze class in-cluded a tour of the pe-diatric wing of thehospital. When a newbaby was brought intothe nursery, all thewomen tried to guessits weight, but the guystanding next to mewas the only male toventure a number.

"Looks like 9 pounds,"he offered confidently.

"This must not be yourfirst," I said.

"Oh, yes," he said. "It'smy first."

"Then how would youknow the weight of ababy?" I asked.

He shrugged. "I'm afisherman."

"Knowing others is intelligence; knowingyourself is true wis-dom. Mastering othersis strength; masteringyourself is true power."

– Lao-Tzu

783-7039


Jimbo & Travis

OCTOBER 201016

• Wheel alignment & balancing • Complete brake work • Engine tune-up• Lube-oil-filter • State Inspections • Exhaust systems

FAMILY OWNED & OPERATED FOR 26 YEARS

60 Minot Ave • Auburn, ME 04210782-6666 or 783-2026

CAMERON TIRE & SERVICE, INC.

A PROUD MEMBER OF THENAPA AUTO CARE TEAM

OUR TIRES

Rod & Beth Cameron, owners


Pig Roast

Check out that bicep baby!

Beth & Jessica

John & Jill

That’s Mr. Purcell

to you...

www.laautocompany.com733 Sabattus Street, Lewiston • 777-0047

FREE INSPECTION STICKER*

2004 Audi A6 AllRoad

• 2.7T• 80k • Auto

• Leather• Loaded • AWD

$12,900

2005 Jeep Grand Cherokee

• Limited• AWD• V8

• Leather• 89k• Automatic

$14,488

2005 Volvo XC90

• AWD • Automatic • Leather

• 87k • Tow Package

$14,988

2003 Honda Civic EX

• Sedan• 95k• 5-Speed

• Loaded • Roof• 4-Door

$6,988

2004 Lexus ES330

• Leather• Automatic• 80k

• ABS• Traction Control

$13,988

2005 Ford F150

• Supercab• 4x4 • Tow Package

• Automatic• 97k • Bedliner

$14,988

2006 Honda Civic

• Coupe• Automatic• 93k

• CD • Keyless Entry• 2-Door

$9,988

2003 VW Passat GLX

• 94k • V6• AWD

• Automatic• Leather • Loaded

$8,988

2006 Nissan Altima S

• Automatic • 87k• 29MPG

• 175HP• Cruise Control

$9,988

Servicing All Makes & ModelsMaine State Inspection Station

*Must present ad. Vehicle must meet Maine State Inspection Requirements before receiving sticker.

783-7039


Jimbo & Travis

OCTOBER 201018Revenge has no more quenching effect on emotions, than salt water has on thirst.

AUTOMOTIVE GUIDE

Refusing to have an opinion is a way of having one.

Out & About atRowe Auburn with

the Maineiacs

Mr & Mrs. Anthoine

Where are the rest of my band

members?

84 Littlefield Road • Auburn • 782-4917(off Hotel Road & across from Merrow Road)

AMESSPORTS SHOP

AMESSPORTS SHOP

Sabattus St. Lewiston

754-7873

Starting at $149 Installed

with a remote starter

Lifetime GuaranteeAsk about

starting yourvehicle from your

Smartphone


Jimbo & Travis

OCTOBER 2010 19783-7039 Roses are red. Violets are blue. Most poems rhyme. This one doesn't.

Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before. – Uncle Andy

M & P AUTO SALES

2004 Chevy 2400 HD, Extended Cab, 4WD . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$13,5002002 Ford F350 Superduty, 109k, Auto, 8 ft. Minute Mount Plow . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$12,0002002 Chevy Shortbox, 4WD, Rg. Cab . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$7,5002002 Chevy Silverado, 4X4, Extended Cab . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$8,5002001 GMC 3500, Rack Body, 2WD, No Dump, 42K . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$8,5001999 F350 Superduty, 230K, 7.3 Diesel, Previous Ambulance . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$4,5001994 Chevy Rack Body, 2WD, 6.5 Diesel, 87K . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$8,500

Roosevelt Trail, North Windham • Call Scott Rioux at 892-0932 or 754-4867

$9,5002007 Pontiac Grand Prix

62K, Silver, Sharp Car, Aluminum Wheels,

www.MandPautosales.com

$2,4952002 Dodge Caravan

180K, Runs Good

783-7039


Jimbo & Travis

OCTOBER 201020Seen on the back of a biker's vest: If you can read this, my wife fell off.

Say what you mean, mean what you say, but don't say it mean.

Surround Sound

What the tooth fairydoes with all those

teeth

In England, in the1880's, "Pants" was

considered a dirty word!

2004 JEEP WRANGLERRUBICAN

$15,500

2004 VW PASSAT

$9,995 DUKE & KEVINOne Owner

2006 DODGE RAM 1500

$13,995

Crew Cab, 1-Owner,Southern Truck, never seen snow!

RealDeal

AUTOSALES275 Washington Ave • Auburn

784-5114

2005 SUBARU LEGACY

$8,495/$7,9952005 VW BEETLE

$7,995

One Owner

2001 VW GTi

$5,995

2 to choose from!

www.realdealmaine.com

2006 FORD RANGER XLTExtended Cab, Black, 1 Owner, 80K

October Special

$13,995

2004 VW Passat Wagon 4 Motion, 60K . . .$9,995

2003 VW Jetta Wolsfburg Edition, 60K . . .$7,495

2003 VW Jetta GLS . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$5,995

2002 VW Jetta, 90K . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$4,995

2002 Jeep Grand Cherokee . . . . . . . . . . . .$5,495

2001 VW Jetta, 80K . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$5,995

2001 Nissan Altima GXE, 1 Owner, 80K . .$5,495

2001 Audi A4, 2 to choose from . .$5,995/$5,495

VR6, 5 Speed

2007 VW JETTA

$11,995

Wolfsburg EditionOne Owner

Wagon, 4 Motion, 69K


Jimbo & Travis

OCTOBER 2010 21783-7039 Sign at a crematorium: Urn more. Pay less.

AUTOMOTIVE GUIDE Out & About atRowe Auburn with

the MaineiacsWords can’t

describe having myphoto taken with

George!

Patti Gagne & George OʼConnell

Amanda “Hilton” Flint

Brittney

Anybody seeBrian?

783-7039


Jimbo & Travis

OCTOBER 201022Silence is the only thing that can't be misquoted!

144 Riverside Dr., Auburn

Brad Johnson

Any Make, Any ModelAny Problem…

Fully Warranteed & Certified

Brad’s Precision Auto 333-0364

NO PROBLEM!

$55/hr. LABOR RATE

Sign at animal shelter: Children left unattended will be given a puppy or a kitten.

GOT HEAT?? FREE Pre-winter Checkup With Ad

Steve DuboisOwner

865 Sabattus Street, Lewiston 333-3004liquidsunshinecarwash.com

Full recons available. Call for an appointment

Out & About at L-A Harley for the 9/11 Remembrance Ceremony

Freedom is never more thanone generation away from ex-tinction. We didn't pass it toour children in the blood-stream. It must be fought for,protected, and handed on forthem to do the same, or oneday we will spend our sunsetyears telling our children andour children's children whatit was once like in the UnitedStates where men were free.

– Ronald Reagan

Expert Volvo Repair andComplete Volvo Service!

FOREIGN CAR SERVICE CO.140 Riverside Drive, Auburn • 782-9300

VolvoSpecialist.net • Dave Sheloske, Owner


Jimbo & Travis

OCTOBER 2010 23783-7039

AUTOMOTIVE GUIDE

Smile! It increases your face value.

Complete Auto & Truck Repair• Front End Alignments• Engine Diagnostics• Custom Exhaust• Tires, Batteries

10% OFFwith this ad

Ron Moon,Manager

35 Lewiston Rd. • Gray, ME 04039

• Transmission Flush• State Inspections• Complete Front End Work• Tune-ups

207-657-5000

Now doing

28 Riverside Drive, Auburn • 782-3822CUSTOM UPHOLSTERY

For all your upholstery needs

FREE ESTIMATES

• Boat Seats and Interiors

• Motorcycle Seats

• Convertible Tops

Check

us out!


the Maineiacs

Mr. & Mrs. Gagne

Jake Anderson

On August 27, 1929,Popeye and Olive Oylhad their first kiss inthe comic strip ThimbleTheater when OliveOyl planted a big wetone on Popeye's nose.

A-PLUS AUTO REPAIRWE ARE THERE FOR YOU!

786-052241 Millett Drive, AuburnLocated in the former Hebert’s Auto Building

Call our dad to get your car ready

for winter!!

Cayden & Chance

Radiator Flush Special$75only

for a limitedtime only!

783-7039


Jimbo & Travis

OCTOBER 201024

Somebody once figured out that we have 35 million laws trying to enforce the 10 commandments.

Thought of the day: “Don't insult the alligator till after you cross the river.”

Some days itʼs justsafer to strap in.

The originalcell phone

A toothpick is theobject most often

choked on byAmericans!

1600 Main St. Rt 26 in Oxford

739-2300

Your one-stop Jewelry Store

Exceptional Quality Jewelry u Maine GemstonesLayaway Options Available u Instant Approval Financing

SATURDAY, OCT. 23RD

9AM - 3PM

7th Annual

Jewelers

ALL in stock Seiko & Pulsar watches

Additional 15% OFFalready 30% off

Take40% OFFALL in stock

Luminox watches

$3 watch battery replacementsONE DAY ONLYFREE jewelry cleaning

DiamondCut

TRIP GIVEAWAYS

Aubrey, our lil greeter

Open HouseDeeply discounted

merchandise to make room for new inventory

On-site Jewelry repairs & appraisals!

DiamondCutJewelers.com


Jimbo & Travis

OCTOBER 2010 25783-7039

Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today...

"Education is a wonderful thing. If you couldn't sign your name you'd have to pay cash."– Rita Mae Brown

"A journey is a person initself; no two are alike.And all plans, safe-guards, policing, and co-ercion are fruitless. Wefind that after years ofstruggle that we do nottake a trip; a trip takesus."

– John Steinbeck

Sometimes I think I understand everything, and then I regain consciousness.

• Brake Service • Custom Exhaust • Shocks & Struts • Used Car Sales • Tires • Tune-ups • Rust Repair & Body Work • Engine Overhauls • Transmission Overhauls • Custom Paint • Motorcycle Tanks & Fenders

• Restorations & Rebuilds

304 Lisbon Road • Lisbon

353-6100

Classic Car Rebuilds, Restorations & Service

Bring your classic car to...

THE SHOPTHE SHOP

Come see the Donkeys at Benoit’s! And I don’t mean thepeople... I mean real

life donkeys!!

• Pick your own apples

• Hand picked bags available too

• Freshly made donuts & pies

every Saturday & Sunday

• Come see the donkeys

• Cider

• And much, much more!

Corner of Ferry & Cotton Road

Lewiston

783-0875

Open 7 Days a

Week 9am-5pm

Dr. Curious

A four-year-old was atthe pediatrician for acheck up. As the doctorlooked in her ears, heasked, "Do you think I'llfind Big Bird in here?"

The little girl stayedsilent.

Next, the doctor took atongue depressor andlooked down herthroat. He asked, "Doyou think I'll find theCookie Monster downthere?"

Again, the little girl wassilent.

Then the doctor put astethoscope to herchest. As he listened toher heartbeat, heasked, "Do you think I'llhear Barney in there?"

"Oh, no!" the little girlreplied. "Jesus is in myheart. Barney's on myunderpants."

I read this article thatsaid the typical symp-toms of stress are eat-ing too much, impulsebuying, and driving toofast. Are they kidding?That's my idea of aperfect day!

783-7039


Jimbo & Travis

OCTOBER 201026

625 WashingtonStreet, Auburn

www.soundeffectsmaine.com

Winter’s Coming!Think Sound Effects…Now taking appointments

for remote starters.

777-3339

“A farmer called his pig Ball Point. Well, it wasn't it's real name, just a pen name.”

“If all else fails, stop using all else.”

“You're not shy: you're conversationally selective."


Pig RoastThanks to

everyone who helped make the

11th annual pig roast a huge success! Come

check out our live music every

weekend!!

Great job,Denis!

Denis & Audrey

Vinnie

Jim Greene

Jim, a walking library & juke box hero

845 Washington St., Northbound in Auburn • 782-5500

GET THE MOST OUT OF YOUR VEHICLEKeep it running smoothly & in tip-top shape

Collision Repair & Complete Restorations Available!

Your complete auto sHopEngine Work • Brakes • Suspension

782-5500782-5500


Jimbo & Travis

OCTOBER 2010 27783-7039 “A job at the nursery can lead to a budding career.”

EXPERIENCED QUALITY SERVICE

Bob & Bonnie Merrill, owners

HORSEPOWER AUTOCARE, INC.44 Roosevelt Trail, Rt. 302 • Windham • 892-9420 • 1-800-339-9420

Monday - Friday 8am-5pm • www.horsepowerautocare.com

QUALITY REPAIRS SINCE 1979CARS • LT. TRUCKS • SUVs – We service them all

We perform manufacturer’s vehicle maintenance and scheduled services

• Transmission Flushes

• Shocks, struts

• Brakes, exhaust

• Chassis, alignment

• Engine performance

• State Inspection

• Fuel systems

• And more!

Maineʼs AAAApproved

Repair Facilitysince 1990!

Don't bother me; I'm living happily ever after.

CHECK OUT www.secondchanceboxer.com

9 South Main Street Mechanic Falls, ME • (207) 345-8711 • 1-800-339-0414

AUTOS • HOMEOWNERS

MOTORCYCLES • BUSINESS

THE CUMMINGS AGENCY, INC. INSURANCE

Jeffrey R. Cummings • Nora W. Cummings

Nes

sie

Port

er

Boo

Dog gonnit…

We want your business!

Most

Offers

Come

with a

Hook

This is

Ours.

23 Cross Street, Auburn • 786-4333

Expert Custom Framing

Quality Personal Service

at affordable prices!

CUSTOM FRAMING FOR: Prints, Pictures,

Needlework, Diplomas, Sports Memorabilia

Bring your next framing job to D&R Framing and get

FREE Glass* *Regular glass - up to24”x30” • A $22 Value!

Gram & Dan Williams


Pig Roast

Awww....Shucks!

My daughter is above me and I sure am glad she

tagged along!

783-7039


Jimbo & Travis

OCTOBER 201028“Those who follow the crowd usually get lost in it.”

It's not so much about "Why this?" as "What's next?"

...or meet my 5

brothers!

Out & About at The Cage’s Annual Pig Roast

Uncle Andy, call me...

Allen

Aaron

PamDebbie

Denis

Kimmy

Bonney

www.donovansauto.com946-7515 • 1-800-811-8856

To view the complete inventory of 50 vehicles, visit our website


Jimbo & Travis

OCTOBER 2010 29783-7039 Without the rich heart, wealth is an ugly beggar. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

It's easier to go down a hill than up, but the view is much better at the top. – Arnold Bennet

Jeremy Marchessault,a member of the team atAustin Associates, receivedhis Certified Public Ac-countant (CPA) designationfrom the Maine Society ofCertified Public Account-ants. Maine requires thatapplicants attain a Bache-lor’s Degree++ or earn aMaster’s Degree, pass allfour written parts of theCertified Public Accountingexam and demonstrate twoyears of experience in pub-lic accounting.

Austin Associates worksclosely with clients frommany industries, some ofwhich include: agriculture,tourism, medical, construc-tion and non-profit. JeremyMarchessault, CPA, is re-sponsible for financialstatements, tax planningand tax preparation forpartnerships, individuals,corporations and S-corpo-rations in multiple indus-tries.

Marchessault, an Auburnresident, joined the firm in2005 and has managed aprogressive comprehensivetechnology plan to movethe IT infrastructure of thefirm into a competitive po-sition for the future. Jeremyis a native of Auburn and agraduate of the Universityof Maine. Now acceptingnew clients, Jeremy may bereached at 783-9111.

783-7039


Jimbo & Travis

OCTOBER 201030

Do right. Do your best. Treat others as you would want to be treated. – Lou Holtz

“A baby sitter is a teenager acting like an adult while the adults are out acting like teenagers.”


Pig Roast

I just have to say that

Matt and the Barnburners rocked

the house!

JessicaHines

THURSDAYSLine Dancing Lessons 6pmKaraoke 8pmBeer Pong Sign-ups 9pm

FRIDAYSLADIES NightDrink SpecialsDJ & Live Local Entertainment

SATURDAYSDJ & your favorites in Tribute Bands,Comedy Acts & More!

ENTERTAINMENT LINE-UP

Action-packedThursdays

with DJ B-Set at 9:30pm

Every Friday night!

150 Center St. Auburn • 784-7785 • ClubTexas.info

FRIDAYS & SATURDAYSALWAYS A DJ IN THE PUB !

Fri. Oct. 1st HOTTER THAN HELL - Kiss Tribute BandSat. Oct. 2nd Land Slide - 70s & 80s classic rock

Mechanical bullSat. Oct. 9th Frank Santos Jr (see more info below)Fri. Oct. 15th Marble Socket & GuestsSat. Oct. 16th Twyce Shy - Hair Band RockFri. Oct. 22nd The Grumps & GuestsSat. Oct. 23rd Tickle - Modern Dance, Pop & R&B musicFri. Oct. 29th Halloween Party w/local rock bands (see below)Sat. Oct. 30th Halloween Party with Strict 9 & DJ B-Set

Saturday, October 9thFrank Santos Jr

R-Rated Hypnotist

Doors open at 7pmShow starts at 8pm

$10 ppCall Club Texas at 784-7785 or stop by to book your reservation and

purchase tickets

H a l l o w e e n P a r t yFriday, October 29th & Saturday, October 30thCash Prizes • Drink Specials • Costume Contests

DJ B-Set in the pub both nights!

Who do

you want to be

for Halloween?

Friday, Oct. 29th • Local bands: Steve vs. the Volcano, Sinfist, Blood Red Thrust & Ascent to Power

Vendors: Artistic Creations, Studio 2, Professional Piercers of Maine& Captive Elements Art House

783-7039


Jimbo & Travis

OCTOBER 201032

“The cynic and the optimist both think they are observing reality.”

“A guy goes into a second hand shop to buy one for his watch.”

Trick or Treat

DiamondCutJewelers

Mon-Fri 9-6; Sat. 9-3 • diamondcutjewelers.com

1600 Main St. Rt 26 in Oxford • 739-2300

HUGE GOLDBUYING EVENT!

3 DAYS ONLYTHURSDAY, FRIDAY & SATURDAY

OCTOBER 7TH, 8TH & 9TH

GOT GOLD?GET CASH

IMMEDIATELY

GOT GOLD?GET CASH

IMMEDIATELYThe highest prices paid!

Stop in with your unused gold and walk out very happy!

9am to 6pmBACK BY POPULAR DEMAND


Jimbo & Travis

OCTOBER 2010 33783-7039 “Those who wish to sing always find a song.”

“I smile because I have no idea what's going on.” – Uncle Andy

Uncle Andy, you’re #2 in my book!


Pig Roast

Just kickin’back with my

peeps...

Bobby Raymond

The original name for the butterfly was 'flutterby'!

04 Audi A4, Automatic, 56K . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$13,49504 Suzuki XL7, 89k . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$7,99504 Hyundai Elantra GLS, 88K . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$5,29503 Saab 9-3 Convertible, 5-Spd, Leather, 88K, 1-Owner . . . . . . . . . . . . .$6,995 02 Nissan Xterra XE, V6, Power Everything, 4X4 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$7,49502 Hyundai Accent . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$2,99502 Chevy Cavalier, 76K . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$4,49501 Volvo S60 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$5,99501 VW Jetta GLS VR6 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$4,99501 Audi A4, 1.8T, Auto, 18” Wheels . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$5,99501 Audi A4 Sport, 2.8L, 5-Speed, New Timing Belt, 96K . . . . . . . . . . . .6,99501 Audi A4 Wagon, 5-Speed, Leather, Loaded, AWD . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$5,49501 Audi A6 Wagon, 3rd Row Seat . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$5,99501 BMW 330xi AWD, Leather, 87K . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$10,99501 Saab 9-3, Leather, Loaded . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$4,49501 Ford Focus, 4-Door, 108K . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$4,49501 Nissan Xterra . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$5,99501 Ford F250, Low Miles . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Call for price00 Jeep Cherokee . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$5,99599 Saab 9-3 Convertible, 108K . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$3,99599 GMC Sierra, Extended Cab . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$6,29599 Audi A4, Blue . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$5,29599 Audi A4 1.8T, parts car . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Call for price99 Audi A4 2.8T Wagon, parts car . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Call for price

2004 Chevy Trailblazer

Tim Bellmore

Scott McFarren & Tim Bellmore

1298 Sabattus St. Lewiston

Other Inventory

786-7744INDEPENDENTAuto

98 Audi A4 2.8T, V6 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$5,49598 Audi A4, Loaded . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$3,99597 Acura CL Coupe . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$1,99597 Audi A6 Quattro Wagon, Auto . . . . . . . . . . . . .$2,99597 Audi A6 Wagon, parts car . . . . . . . . . . . .Call for priceVolvo 17” Gunmetal Gray Rims . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$500Mille Miglia 18” Rims . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$500New Wheel & Tire Packages . . . . . . . . . . .Call for pricing

$8,495

2004 Chevy Crew Cab

Leather, Loaded

2004 Volvo XC90

AWD, Navigation, 3rd Row

2005 Audi Ultra Sport

RARE, 75K, Auto

$15,995

$12,995 $14,500

WINTER BLOWOUT!

4X4

with special pricing securedfor fans of Uncle Andy’s Digest

Go Cruisin’ on the Caribbean

For more information or to reserve your space contact:

784-2916 or 1-800-879-3823 or email: [email protected] Center Street, Auburn

Radiance of the Seas is a classy, savvy lady. It incorporates the best features of its predecessors: the variety of activity and entertainment options of the Voyager class(like rock climbing), the sleek profile of the Sovereign class, and the global itineraries and wealth of windows, glass doors and canopies of the Vision class.

Cruise itinerary:Feb. 27 Air from Portland to Tampa – transfer to hotel for pre-night Feb. 28 Transfer to ship – Ship departs port at 5 pm Mar. 1 Day at sea Mar. 2 Costa Maya from 8 am to 6 pm Mar. 3 Cozumel from 7 am to 5 pm Mar. 4 Day at sea Mar. 5 Back in Tampa at 7 am

February 27 to March 5, 2011

aboard the Radiance of the Seas

Check out the great pricing we got just for our friends...

This doesn’t happen everyday!Pricing starts at:

Inside cabin $1224 per person Oceanview cabin $1324 per person Balcony $1414 per person

Prices are based on double occupancy. 3rd & 4th person available upon request

Pricing includes:• Roundtrip air from Portland to Tampa • Pre-night Tampa • 5 night cruise on board the beautiful Radiance of the Seas • Shipboard gratuities • All port charges and taxes • All transfers

SHIP HIGHLIGHTS:Rock-climbing wall • Many restaurants • Themed bars and lounges • Casino RoyaleSM

The Colony Club, a unique British colonial-style lounge with self-leveling pool tablesAfrican safari-themed Solarium • Indoor/outdoor country club with golf simulatorAdventure Ocean® youth facilities • Day Spa and Fitness Center • Sports court withbasketball/volleyball court


Jimbo & Travis

OCTOBER 2010 35783-7039

Can laundry breed? It sure seems that way.

Too Bad! is my new life motto. Don't like me? Too Bad! Want something from me? Too Bad!Mad at me? Too Bad! I think I'll keep it. Don't like it? TOO BAD!

5 North Main Street, Mechanic Falls • 345-3782

Plenty of parking out back Handicap ramp to bar & deck

Air conditioned • Darts Pool • Free Wi-Fi

Now 2 courtesy vans at Big Daddy’s!FREE Pick-up and drop off available

within a 10 mile radius

SaturdaySpecial3pm - 8pm

All Canned Beer$1.00

Miller High Life

16 oz. Draft

$1.00 All day -

Everyday!

Watch football games right

here on our Big Screen TV!

Check out our new food menu!

Linda • Delicious home cooked meals

• Hot soups & chowders

• Everything made from scratch

• Incredible crepes

• Fresh bakedpies & DessertsTurkey

dinner everyThursday!

Biscuits & gravy!Yummy!

Gina

1485 Lisbon Street • Lewiston(next to Tire Warehouse) • 786-0667

Benefit Bash for the DempseyChallenge spon-

sored by KRY Autoat Lost Valley

Karen & Kurt Youland

Tim Luttrell

69 Sabattus St., Lewiston • 783-3287Hours: Mon.-Sat. 10am-1am • Sun Noon-1am

9pm-MidnightTuesday & Thursday Specials!

Any Domestic

$200

WellDrinks

$400

Jello Shots Always $1

Don’t forget!


Jimbo & Travis

OCTOBER 2010 37783-7039

"I took my parents back to the airport today. They're flying home tomorrow." – Margaret Smith

I'm lost. I've gone to Look for myself. If I should return before I get back, please ask me to wait. – Uncle Andy

“Worry is like a rocking chair; no matter how much you rock, you get nowhere.”

845 Main Street, Lewiston • 689-2345

www.centralmainepowersports.com

WE’VE TAKEN ON

TRUCKLOADSOF INVENTORY ATA GREAT PRICE -AND IT’S TIME TO

PASS THE SAVINGS

ON TO YOU!

Trick or Treat

Nose prints are used

to identify dogs, just

like humans use

fingerprints!

783-7039


Jimbo & Travis

OCTOBER 201038"You just can't beat the person who won't give up." – Babe Ruth

“We cannot avoid growing old, but we can avoid growing cold.”

COMMUNITY CREDIT UNION

Our Online Tools and Services for the Entire Family

Go to www.CommunityCreditUnion.com

• Convenient Access To Your Account- Home Banking - CUe-Statements - Bill Payer

• Promotional Information- Notices right to your inbox on our latest promotions and events

• Wealth of Educational Information

Enter to Win our Special Giveaway for October

Join our email list in the month of October and we’ll enter you to WIN a $50 GiftCertificate to a local restaurant plus 2 tickets to the Lewiston MAINEiacs!

Go to our website and click on Join Our Email List!

Member eligibility required. Some restrictions may apply

3 websites for K-12students

website for youngadults 18-30

website for consumers 18-60

website for Baby Boomers 40-60

3rd Grade Assignment

My daughter's third-grade teacher had as-signed the children towrite a story titled "MyBiggest Surprise." Notuntil the end of theschool year did we seeMarina's work. It read:"I got up this morningand I ran into Mommyand Daddy's bed andhopped in. But it wasn'tMommy at all. It wasMrs. Del Campo!"

What her essay neg-lected to say was thatwe had called Mrs. DelCampo late at night tostay with our childrenwhile I took my wife tothe hospital to have ourthird child.

And what were youthinking?

Tanning Salon& Wel lne s s Cen t e r

81 Manley Road, Auburn

784-8900

For ThoseWho Likeit HOT!

Hot Stu f f

We’veMoved!!Check out our new location!

81 Manley Rd., AuburnNew services coming soon, too!

Call FMI


Jimbo & Travis

OCTOBER 2010 39783-7039

“Everyone is on this low-fat craze now; the Mayo Clinic just changed its name to the Balsamic Vinaigrette Clinic.”

No one would ever have crossed the ocean if he could have gotten off the ship in the storm. – Charles Kettering

• Guitar • Piano • Bass• Voice • Banjo • Mandolin• Violin • Music theory • Brass & woodwinds

We also sell and service all types of instruments

134 Main Street, Auburnwww.mainstreetmusiclessons.com

Main St. Music Lessons& Instrument Repair

376-3376

Main St. Music Lessons& Instrument RepairAuthorized

Service Center

Mention this ad and yourfirst drum lesson is FREE**with your first month of lessons

DICK DEMERS SCHOOL OF DRUMMING25 Mary Street, Lewiston • 786-6861 • [email protected]

Now accepting studentsLearn to play

THE RIGHT WAY

Student of the Month

Zack Albertw/ Dick Demers

Fresh ProduceBlackie’s Farm

Open Year Round

966 Minot Ave. • Auburn • 786-0005

996 Sabattus St. • Lewiston • 783-7020

Hours: 6am - 8pm

Rose accompanied her

husband Tom to his an-

nual checkup.

While Tom was getting

dressed, the doctor

came out and said to

Rose, “I donʼt like the

way he looks.”

“Neither do I,” she said.

“But heʼs handy around

the house.”

A Bowl Full of CherriesIn 2000, two Swiss set new world records for cherry pit spitting. Conchita Kohler set the new women's record

of 62 feet, 4 inches, while Thomas Steinhauser set the men's mark with a launch of 82 feet, 9 inches.

L to R: Candice Lamontagne, Mel Cote,Darcy Ames & Hannah Greene

336 Center St. • Auburn • 777-1611

Coming Soon! Full Service SpaNew Services:

Facials & Skincare ProductsMassage Services

Body Treatments • Body Waxing

NOW HIRINGAesthetician • Massage Therapist

Nail Technician • Stylist

783-7039


Jimbo & Travis

OCTOBER 201040

“It is good to be saved and know it, but it is better to be saved and show it.”

Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip. – Will Rogers

"The Insomniac," by Eliza Wake

This Month’s Specials

2 Large 1-Topping Fresh

Dough Pizzas$17.76

Large Chicken Tender Sub w/ Cheese

$4.99

Breakfast Sandwich$1.87

Bacon, Ham or Sausage on an English Muffin


the Maineiacs

Bill SchurmanThe Maineiacs Governor

Al Harvey & Brian Morrison

Hang on a second, let me ask

my agent...

Danny Auger

Coolest FanAward

Hey look, here come theMAINEiacs!


Jimbo & Travis

OCTOBER 2010 41783-7039

Everyone who got where he is had to begin where he was. – Richard L Evans

"Never fear shadows. They simply mean there's a light shining somewhere nearby." – Ruth Renkel

K+L GREEN CLEAN, INC577-8725

"Helping the environment one job at a time"

Go Green! All Natural Cleaning Products

ATTENTION BUSINESS & COMMERCIAL PROPERTY OWNERS

OWNERS: KRISTIE MORIN & LAUREN SIMPSON

We’re budget friendly and offer free estimates!

www.KandLGreenClean.com

Be Clean & Be

GREEN!

Marine Fish •Coral •

Supplies •

Pumpkins aren’t the only things that come in

orange, ya know…

Happy Halloween!Happy Halloween!

272 South Main St. Auburn • www.deepseacreations.com • 1-888-782-4372 • 782-4372

Marine Fish •Coral •

Supplies •

740 Minot Avenue, Auburn • 783-2981Hours: Mon-Sun 5am-9pm • www.mygeorgios.com

Within Auburn city limits

$20 min. order

To any Lewiston business

$30 min. order

We’ll deliver anything we have in our store! Milk,soda, breakfast sandwiches,

pizza, sandwiches!

ANYTHING!!

No delivery charge for the month of October!

WE DELIVER!

*full menu price

Family Cleaning

Unexpected guestswere on the way, andmy mother, an impec-cable housekeeper,rushed around straight-ening up. She put myfather and brother towork cleaning theguest bathroom.

Later, when she wentto inspect it, she wassurprised that theonce-cluttered roomhad been tidied up soquickly. Then she sawthe note on the closedshower curtains.

It read, "Thank you fornot looking in the bath-tub."

Restricted

As Bill grew old, physi-cians greatly restrictedhis activities, and itirked him enormously.A nurse had been hiredto tend to his needs ashe had now been con-fined to total bed rest.

"Nurse, I would like todo some reading," Billsaid.

"Fine," the nursereplied, "What kind ofreading would youlike? A magazine, abook?"

"Well with the way thedoctors have limitedmy activities," hereplied, "Why don't youjust bring me a postagestamp."

783-7039


Jimbo & Travis

OCTOBER 201042“The dead batteries were given out free of charge.”

"How does one become a butterfly? You must want to fly so much that you are willing togive up being a caterpillar." – Trina Paulus

Decisions, Decisions...

What to be for Halloween

Anything you can imagine right atDrapeau’s Costumes of Maine in

Lisbon Falls. Call them at 353-2216

The Little Mermaid

The Fairy Godmother

Tootsie Rolls were thefirst wrapped pennycandy in America.


Jimbo & Travis

OCTOBER 2010 43783-7039

Actual Church Bulletin Bloopers: A song fest was hell at the Methodist church Wednesday.

You Know youʼre getting older when... You don't remember when your wild oats turned to shredded wheat.

5 Pigeon Hill Road �Route 26 and 11�, Mechanic Falls • 998-5577

DAILY SPECIALSBreakfast & Lunch

& Bakery

�Home of the Double Yolker�

Open 7 Days 6am-2pm

Finish a full-sizeomelette and have

your picture put onour wall of fame!

Handicap accessible • Breakfastserved all day • Superb serviceComfortable family atmosphere

You Know youʼre getting older when... You get into a heated argument about pension plans.

Mechanic Falls Redemption20 Maple Street • Mechanic Falls345-3765 • Open 7 days 9am-5pm Richard Conway, owner

We’re across from the car wash, just down from Future Foods.

And definitely worth the trip!

Earn

with $20 or more in bottles

20% MORE

10% MOREEarn

with any amount of bottles with this coupon

CHECK OUT

OUR NEW

LOCATION!Expires 10/31/10





Little Bo Peep

Cat Woman

Good Witch vs.Bad Witch

Halloween candy salesaverage about 2 billiondollars annually in the

United States.

783-7039


Jimbo & Travis

OCTOBER 201044

You Know youʼre getting older when... You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.

You Know youʼre getting older when... The waiter asks how you'd like your steak...and you say "pureed".

IntroductoryPrice $1,650

Suggested List $2,173.35

• 1/2” (12mm) recommended cut capacity• 1 1/8” (30mm) maximum cut• Auto pilot restart for expanded metal• Front panel LEDs indicate status conditions• Storage compartment for convenience• True Guard roll bar provides easy transport• Multi-voltage allows operation from 208 to 480 Volts• Duty Cycle 40% @ 60A• Weighs 43 lbs• 60 Amp drag tip• 20-60 Amps adjustable

22 Albison Way, Auburn

784-5788 or 1-800-377-9433

Skydiving101

Submitted by Jimbo

Uncle Andy, a new sky-diver and his instructorwere high in the airwhen Uncle Andy wasgetting ready to jump.Just before he wasready to leap histeacher gave him somefinal instructions.

"Listen carefully! Youjump...count to 3...andpull your rip cord! Ifthat doesn't work, pullthe cord on your re-serve chute! There willbe a truck down thereto pick you up!"

Uncle Andy took adeep breath andplunged into the openair. After free falling hecounted to 3 and pulledhis ripcord. Nothinghappened. He pulledthe cord on his reservechute, and nothinghappened. Totally dis-gusted, he said...

"I'll bet that stupidtruck's not down thereeither!"

Halloween was broughtto North America byimmigrants from Eu-rope who would cele-brate the harvestaround a bonfire, shareghost stories, sing,dance and tell fortunes.


Jimbo & Travis

OCTOBER 2010 45783-7039

You Know youʼre getting older when... The end of your tiedoesn't come anywhere near the top of your pants.

The first tiered wedding cake was made by a London baker who duplicated the spires of a nearby church. The church name was - St. Brides!

120 Center Street, Auburn

784-9900www.AuburnGoinPostal.com

We can ship anything... Anywhere!(well, almost anything)

• UPS, FedEx & DHL shipping• Packaging Services• eBay• Mailboxes and more!

PAYROLLMANAGEMENT, INC.

SIMPLICITY g FLEXIBILITY g EASE

783-6880 or 800-734-6880 • www.payrollmgt.com

Your local option for outsourcing your payroll...

Check us out for all your payroll needs!

100 Manley Road, Auburn

TIMEMan of

the YearRob Mainville

Lewiston MAINEiacslove it here in L/ASee the exclusive photo shoot from

Uncle Andy’s Digest

Ernie “Frenchie” Gagne & “Top Dollar Dave” Gervais

So, you say your name is Top DollarDave, is that with one or two “L’s”?

Out & About at Rowe Auburn with

the Maineiacs

783-7039


Jimbo & Travis

OCTOBER 201046

"Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it." -- Dennis P. Kimbro

Then give to the world the best you have, and the best will come back to you. – Madeline Bridges

The wedding cake dates back to ancient Rome, when couples shared cakes of wheat flourwith their guest as a symbol of their unity.

MONDAY: Two eggs, Sausage,Homefries, Toast.............$3.75

TUESDAY: Two eggs, CornbeefHash, Toast.....................$3.75

WEDNESDAY: Three Blueberry Pancakes ........................$3.75

THURSDAY: French Toast .....$3.75

FRIDAY: Two Item Omelette..$3.75

SATURDAY: Two Golden pancakes w/Sausage ......$3.75

SUNDAY: French Crepes .......$3.75

Prices do not include tax.

Fresh steakcut and ground daily.

Open Mon-Fri 5 am to 8 pm Sat & Sun 6 am to 8 pm

5 Washington St.,

Auburn

783-4304 Phone Orders Are Welcome

$1OFF

Any Purchase

of $500

or more1 coupon per order

✁Expires 10/31/10

You asked… we listened! A new

brand of coffee!

BREAKFAST SPECIALS“All breakfast specials include coffee.”

Daily Breakfast Specials served until 11am





The Wizard of Oz

50ʼs Poodle Girl

Batman & Robin

Chocolate candy barstop the list as the most

popular candy for trick-or-treaters

with Snickers as #1. 120 CENTER STREET PLAZA • AUBURN • 786-0715 • www.gippers.com

VOTED #1 Casual Restaurant & Best Burgers in L/A area

We show every NFL game in HD

on our 15 plasma TV’s!

Watch every Patriots game in HD

on our 71” plasma!!

Book our 80-seat Private FunctionRoom for your parties & functions


Jimbo & Travis

OCTOBER 2010 47783-7039

Make visible what without you, might perhaps never have been seen. – Robert Bresson

“Time is fun when you're having flies.” – Kermit the Frog





Crazy Scotsmen

Dead Bride

Southern Belle &Civil War soldier

Halloween is the sec-ond most commercially

successful holiday, with Christmas being

the first.

Assisted Home CareFor more information visit us at:

550 College St., Lewiston783-7375

We cover Gray, New Gloucester, Turner, Augusta, Windham, Brunswick, Topsham, Bath, Mechanic Falls, Norway, Bowdoinham, Pownal and surrounding areas.

• More privacy - you get personal care inyour own home.

• Convenience - continuity of care.

• Comfort - being in your own home.

• Shorter Recovery Time - people recoupbetter at home.

• Nursing care by qualified caregivers.

Assisted Home Care

CNA’sWANTED NOW!

GREAT PAY! GREAT WORKING CONDITIONS!

Home Care Means...

783-7039


Jimbo & Travis

OCTOBER 201048

“You can be on the right track and still get hit by a train!”

“I can see how astronomers figure out the distance of the stars and their size and tempera-tures and all that, but what really gets me is how they find out what their names are!”

HEAVY DUTY & EQUIPMENT ROADSIDE ASSISTANCE AVAILABLE

We work on all equipment… not just ours!

RATES:• $50/hour on light duty cars & trucks• $65/hour on heavy duty trucks, trailers & equipment• $75/hour on roadside assistance (includes mileage)

• Servicing all makes & models ofheavy equipment & trucks

• Licensed Inspection Station• Hydraulic Hoses made on-site• Light Duty/Heavy Duty Trailers• We Machine Rotors & Drums for

Light Duty

Maine Heavy Equipment Service20 Highland Spring Road, Lewiston

333-3707 • www.MaineHeavy.com

Light/Heavy Duty Trucks,Tractors, Trailer,

All Plow Equipment Repairs & Service

“Dependable, quality service at an affordable price!”

Colorful AnalysisSubmitted by Jimbo

Little Johnny had beenbringing his drawingshome from kindergartenevery day since hestarted a month ago.Each day his mother ad-mired the pictures andhung them on the refrig-erator. One thing startedbothering her. LittleJohnny only used blackand browns for hisdrawings. Fearing aproblem and not want-ing it to get worse, shedecided to take him to achild psychologist.

The psychologist deli-cately went to work. Hegave Little Johnny a bat-tery of psychologicaltests. He chatted withLittle Johnny. Everythingseemed perfectly nor-mal. Every day for twoweeks, the tests contin-ued. Yet everyday, LittleJohnny continued tobring home drawings inonly blacks and browns.

Frustrated at not beingable to get to the root ofthe problem and fearfulthat something was ter-ribly wrong, the childpsychologist decided togive Little Johnny somepaper and a box ofcrayons and observewhat happened.

Little Johnny opened thebox of crayons and said,"Oh, Boy! A new box ofcrayons! At school weonly have old boxes.The only ones left inmine are black andbrown!"


Jimbo & Travis

OCTOBER 2010 49783-7039

“The more you have, the less likely it is to be enough.”

One must care about a world one will never see. – Bertrand Russell

CALL US FOR YOUR

FREE QUOTE!

NO JOB TOO BIG OR TOO SMALL

RESIDENTIAL &COMMERCIAL

Locally owned and operated since 1970!

Competitive Pricing on

RESIDENTIALPROJECTS

City of Auburn

Gardiner Bridge Reconstruction

Lewiston Economic Growth Council,Lincoln St. Building Demolition

City of LewistonCurb InstallationLewiston High School

Culinary Arts Building

CELEBRATING 40 YEARS

IN BUSINESS!

Call early for your plowing, sanding, & snow removal quotes!

RESIDENTIAL &COMMERCIALCompetitive

Pricing!

St. Laurent & Sons Excavation, Inc.20 Highland Spring Road, Lewiston • 784-7944

www.stlaurentandson.com

v Site Workv Water, Sewer

& Septicv New Driveway

Installationv Demolitionv Retaining Wallsv Drainage v Concrete

Foundations & Floors

Smart PillsSubmitted by Gene Couillard

A somewhat advancedsociety has figuredhow to package basicknowledge in pill form.

A student, needingsome learning, goes tothe pharmacy and askswhat kind of knowledgepills are available.

The pharmacist says,"Here's a pill for Eng-lish literature."

The student takes thepill and swallows it andhas new knowledgeabout English litera-ture! "What else do youhave?" asks the stu-dent.

"Well, I have pills forart history, biology, andworld history," repliesthe pharmacist.

The student asks forthese, swallows them,and has new knowl-edge about those sub-jects. Then the studentasks, "Do you have apill for math?"

The pharmacist says,"Wait just a moment,"and goes back into thestoreroom. He bringsback a whopper of apill and plunks it on thecounter.

"I have to take thathuge pill for math?" in-quires the student.

The pharmacist replies,"Well, you know... mathalways was a little hardto swallow."

783-7039


Jimbo & Travis

OCTOBER 201050

Uncle Andy is wondering if Purple People Eaters are purple and eat purple or it they eat purple people.

While walking to the lake with my fishing pole and bait box, someone asked me if I wasgoing fishing. I said "Nope, just taking my worms for a walk."





The Cat in theHat with Thing 1

& Thing 2

Beauty & The Beast

Big Bad Wolf


Jimbo & Travis

OCTOBER 2010 51783-7039

it's been a really good day..I'm going to bed before someone screws it up.

Travis doesn't understand why the letters on the keyboard spell QWERTYUIOPASDFGHJKLZX-CVBNM when it is really supposed to be ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ?

The Little Place with the Great Taste

Rt. 100 • New GloucesterHours: Mon-Fri 8am-10pm • Sat-Sun 7am - 10pm 926-3434 Breakfast Served until 11am

Come check out our new 50”Plasma TV in the Dining Room!

Enjoy our new Appetizers, Beers &

Homemade Roasted Peanutsfor Sports Events

Prizes for all participants

Also

Pumpkin Carving Contest

Stop by on Halloween… Treats for trick-or-treaters!at New Gloucester





Walk like an Egyptian

Monk & Lady

Grim Reaper

There really are so-called vampire bats,but they're not fromTransylvania. They livein Central and SouthAmerica and feed onthe blood of cattle,horses and birds.

SCHOONER’S ANNUAL CRAFT FAIRThe most eagerly anticipated event of the season forcrafters and knitters alike is upon us! On Saturday, Octo-ber 23rd from 10am to 3pm the Schooner Estate’s CraftGroup will host the second annual "Schooner Craft Fair" inthe Village Green at 200 Stetson Rd. in Auburn (off Cen-ter St), and is open to the public

The needlecraft group made up of 15 or so women fromSchooner Estates have been knitting preemie baby hatsfor the area hospitals birthing units for over 20 years. Theyrecently took up making Afghans and lap blankets for theHospice house next door and knitted pet blankets for theAndroscoggin Animal Shelter, as well as hand-sewn dollsfor the children's ward at both hospitals. The ladies have been working on lots of crafts to sell on that day. (Hand knit hats,mittens, scarves, baby bibs, teddy bears with sweaters, Christmas stockings and quilts). There will also be tables with handmade greeting cards and Christmas decorations, quilted handbags, pictured cards, scented candles and lots more.

THE PUBLIC IS INVITED TO THIS EVENT!Anyone interested in having a table at this event should contact Mark Prevost at 513-5055. All proceeds from this day are col-lected and given to Camp Sunshine, by the Tenants Council.

Did you know: Pumpkins also come in white, blue and green. Great for unique monster carvings!

JenDaniel

782-9009 • 20 Coburn Street, Auburn (Off Center St., across from D’Angelos)Open Monday-Saturday • www.panachehairandnailstudio.com

• Cuts, Styles• Colors & Highlights• Perms• Extensions• Manicures • Pedicures• Artificial Nails• Facials • Massage• Reflexology• Waxing• Eyelash Tinting• Arbonne Make-up

Christine

Cindy

Elizabeth

Lynn

Our Services

Join now before the holiday rush!

Aesthetician

Opportunity to succeed in asuccessful, professional salon

Now Seeking Professionals for BoothRental Opportunities

Emily

Michelle

Manicure & Pedicurist

WE’RE BACK ON COURSE!

165 High Street, Auburn • 782-7796 • Open Tuesday - Sunday • www.villageinnmaine.com

The Vallee family: Norm, Connie, Belinda & Mick

Join us forfantastic food

& service!!

Voted L/A’s Best Seafood Chowder

2004 - 2007

Come see our completely renovated restaurant

If you think we’re only about seafood…

It’s like coming home for dinner.

Steaks & Prime Rib Pasta Dishes Ham & Turkey

Delicious Appetizers SandwichesChicken

Think again! We have something for everyone!Like one of these menu items…

783-7039


Jimbo & Travis

OCTOBER 201054

"The more that you read, the more things you will know. The more that you learn, the more places you'll go." – Dr. Suess

Today is just one of those days when I feel like the hydrant in a world full of dogs!

HARRIS BROTHERS

HARRISBROS.

Call us!No Separating Required!

743-3891PO Box 2002 • Norway, Maine 04268

SERVING: NORWAY • WEST PARISMINOT • MCFALLS • OXFORD

Ann’s Flowers Visit our web site for

many other options!

14 Millett Drive, Auburn 782-3457 • www.annsflower.com

Make their day… treat them to an autumn bouquet!





Zout Flapper

Zout Flapper 2

Halloween is on October 31st, the last day of the Celtic calendar. It was originally a paganholiday, honoring the dead. Halloween was referred to as All Hallows Eve and dates back

to over 2000 years ago.


Jimbo & Travis

OCTOBER 2010 55783-7039

MORE Silly Laws! Tennessee: Itʼs illegal to drive a car while you are asleep.

MORE Silly Laws! Carmel, CA: Itʼs against the law for a woman to take a bath in a business office.

The name "pumpkin" comes from the Greek word "pepon," meaning a large melon.

Mon-Tues. 7:30-4:00 Wed-Fri 7:30-10:00

Sat. 11:00-10:00

Hol ly Mi reau l t , Owner

Check us out onFacebook!

84 Court St, Auburn 333-3041

www.hollysown.com

Deli DownstairsDining Room Upstairs

Live EntertainmentSat. Oct. 2nd - Brian Patricks

Fri. Oct. 8th - Mike Krapovicki

Fri. Oct. 15th - Jesse May & Steve Bailey

Sat. Oct. 23rd - Okbari Belly Dancers

Sat. Oct. 30th

Halloween PartyDance • Party • Costumes • FUN, FUN, FUN!

The ancient Celtsthought that spirits andghosts roamed thecountryside on Halloween night. Theybegan wearing masksand costumes to avoidbeing recognized ashuman.





Scotsman

Witch

Witch 2

783-7039


Jimbo & Travis

OCTOBER 201056

If you see a spider on Halloween, it is the spirit of a loved one watching over you.

Bobbing for apples is thought to have originated from the roman harvest festival that honors Pamona, the goddess of fruit trees.

SHEILA’SHAIR SALON

$2 OFFMen’s Cuts

or1/2 Price

Styling ProductCoupon good Oct. 1 - Oct. 30, 2010

✂

✂

Hours: Tues. - Fri. 9am-7pm • Sat. 9-25 South Main Street, Mechanic Falls

345-3819

FREE100 min.

Tanning Pkg with all chemical services

$60 or moreWe use ABBA products so

no animal testing!Coupon good Oct. 1 - Oct. 30, 2010

✂✂

Working at an airlineticket counter, I pulledup a passenger'sreservation thatshowed his name as"Cole, Pheven."

"I'd like to be certainour information is cor-rect," I said to him."What is your firstname?"

"It's Stephen," hereplied. "I hope thereservation agent got itright. I told him it'sspelled with a ph."

Mother: "Why are youhome from school soearly?"

Son: "I was the onlyone who could answera question."

Mother: "Oh, really?What was the ques-tion?"

Son: "Who threw theeraser at the principal?"

Our minister an-nounced that admis-sion to a church socialevent would be six dol-lars per person. "How-ever, if you're over 65,"he said, "the price willbe only $5.50."Fromthe back of the congre-gation, a woman'svoice rang out, "Do youreally think I'd give youthat information foronly 50 cents?"

Movie Fact:“Halloween” was madein only 21 days in 1978

on a very limited budget.


Jimbo & Travis

OCTOBER 2010 57783-7039 Silence is golden but duct tape is silver, It's going to be a duct tape kind of day.

Uncle Andy to Jimbo: Let's just start with the assumption that I am right and go on from there.

Are You Experienced?Take a psychedelic journey through the rock & roll years

of 1967-1971, when music mattered!

Saturday, Oct. 30th

FULL BAR

StrobeLightsvivid colors!

Join us at the Franco American Heritage Center’s newly-renovated Heritage Hall on thelower level. It will be vibrating with the sights,

sounds & smell of the golden age of rock!

Guys - dig out your bell bottoms & paisely shirts!Ladies - find your miniskirts & go-go boots!

Doors Open at 8pmShow starts at 9pm

Songs like: White Rabbit,My Generation, Sympathyfor the Devil, Crimson &Clover, plus many, many

more classics!

Baby Boomers!

Ticketsonly $12

Groove to music by Flashback*Al l - s t a r l oca l mus i c i ans :

(l to r) Arthur Melendy, Todd Corey, Remo Lefebvre,

Steve Grenier, Nate Telow, Randy Donovan

Franco American Heritage Center

46 Cedar St., Lewiston • 689-2000

Calendar of Events

www.FrancoAmericanHeritage.org

Oct. 5 Celtic Tuesday with Outside TrackOct. 8 Mauro Bertoli - piano concertOct. 9 Medieval FeastOct. 10 Lenny Breau TributeOct. 19 Celtic Tuesday w/ AnnaliviaOct. 23 7th Annual Gala & BenefitOct. 30 Rock & Roll Flashback ‘67-’71 (see above)Oct. 31 Fiddle-icious

See our website for more info!

*Flashback is a pseudonym for this bunch of all-star musicians

Dance Party



Dan Carroll

Chris Bain & friend

Jeff Hebert

783-7039


Jimbo & Travis

OCTOBER 201058

Travis has gone over to the dark side. Don't worry... he brought a flashlight.

Can someone please show me the shortcut to Friday?

960 Main Street, Oxford • 539-4149500 feet North of the New Balance Factory Outlet Store

Largest Indoor Flea Market in the Area!

Open7 Days a Week8 AM - 5 PM

Featuring

131Vendors

Come to Oxford’s only original indoor flea market!

Open 7 days a week year-round for your shopping!

We honor:M/C, DEBIT, ATM, VISA,

Am. Express & Discover cards

VISIT

“THE BOOK NOOK”

Collectibles • Coins • Glassware • Sports Cards • Furniture • BEANIE BABIES

Advertising Items • Jewelry • Cassettes • DVDs • CD’s • Videos • Antiques & Lots More!

Always

Buying

Regular Paperbacks$1/each

$3.50 each for most Hardcover Books

Selective Hard Covers $2

20% OFFall Audio Books (books on tape & CD)

Over 55,000 Pre-Read Books

& Cookbooks

Pre-Read Books arriving daily

Large Selectionof FentonGlassware!

20% - 50% OFF

START YOURCHRISTMASSHOPPING

EARLY!



Pat Henry

Christine Henry

Many people still believe that gargoyleswere created by medieval architects and stone carvers toward off evil spirits.


Jimbo & Travis

OCTOBER 2010 59783-7039

Jimbo to Uncle Andy: Just because there is a hole in your head and the sun shinesthrough...doesn't mean your bright!

Uncle Andy doesn't mind going to work, it's the 8 hours until he leave that bothers him.

The New England School of Metalwork

Hosted by MAINE OXY22 Albison Way • Auburn

Charity Car Show5th Annual

Saturday, Oct. 9Columbus Day Weekend

ALL PROCEEDS donated toPine Tree Society

Event Schedule7am Registration Begins8am Gates Open to the Public9am Live demo’s start & run

throughout the day11:30am-12:30pm - Judging of Cars12noon 50/50 Drawing1pm Trophies Presented

$10 Registration FeeFREE ADMISSION for spectators

Tour the New England School of Metalwork Mobile Training Center, and you can even laydown a weld bead. The Blacksmithing School will be conducting demonstrations as well.

The Pine Tree Society helps people inMaine with disabilities lead richer, moresocially connected lives. Too often, peoplewith disabilities feel left out, even isolated.With the help of Pine Tree Society, they’renot alone. Pine Tree Society shares a spiritof innovation and desire to discover newways to break downbarriers that manyfind insurmount-able. It started as abold new idea in1936 and continuesevery day. Whetherit’s a child discover-ing her first bestfriend at Pine TreeCamp, or an adultfinding his voicewith customized as-sistive technology, Pine Tree Societychanges lives. For more information,please call

(207) 443-3341

We anticipate over 100 cars and we will have manyevents and vendor demonstrations to make the day a

yearly event for you and your family.

FMI Call 207-784-5788

Diane Bryantis announcing theopening of her salon,DIANE & FRIENDS FAMILY HAIR DESIGN at75 Crest Ave in Auburn,off of Hotel Rd. If youwere told she retired,she did indeed retire...from JC Penney...andhas been at Hair Con-nections in Auburn forthe past year. Accord-ing to Diane, "It will bea long time before I'mready to retire!" Shewent on to say, "I lookforward to catching upwith old FRIENDS andis always looking for-ward to making newFRIENDS to help themlook and feel great!"The salon is for the en-tire FAMILY, offeringcuts, colors, perms,shampoo sets & wax-ing. The hours of oper-ation are Tues 9-7,Wed 9-3, Thur 1-8, Fri9-5, Sat 8:30-3. Dianecan be reached by call-ing 376-4276.

The Ouija Board endedup outselling the gameof Monopoly in its firstfull year at Salem. Overtwo million copies of theOuija Board wereshipped.

783-7039


Jimbo & Travis

OCTOBER 201060

Uncle Andy has the ability to say out loud what other people are thinking! And usually monopolizes most conversations...

Your children weren't made to like you. That's what grandchildren are for.

We Give You A R


Jimbo & Travis

OCTOBER 2010 61783-7039

Grant me the patience of a saint and the nerves of a cast iron skillet...and pray that I don't whack somebody on the back of the head with the skillet!

Last week the "trick candle" warehouse burned down... 37 times.

v Preventive Dentistry - Cleaning and Checkupsv Cosmetic Dentistry - Veneers, Bonding, Bleachingv Crowns, Bridges, Dentures (Complete or Partial)v Extractionsv Periodontics - Treatment of Gum Diseasev Root Canal Therapyv Surgical Placement / Restoration of Dental Implants

27 Millett Drive, Auburn • 784-1577TaylorBrookDental.com

Now Accepting New Patients

TAYLOR BROOKDENTAL ASSOCIATES

Reason To Smile

783-7039


Jimbo & Travis

OCTOBER 201062Chinese Lesson 7: I think you need a facelift = Chin Tu Fat

I just want to win the lottery one time, I promise I won't waste it like a lot of people do!

SIGNS: Nothing's impossible for those who don't have to do it.

97 Ash St., Lewiston • 783-0668

LIVE BANDSFree Wi fi

Upcoming EntertainmentThursdaysOpen Blues

Fri. Oct. 1st Paper StreetSat. Oct. 2nd Veggies by DayFri. Oct. 8th RuckusSat. Oct. 9th Black Cat RoadFri. Oct. 15th Matt & the BarnburnersSat. Oct. 16th TBA (Call)Fri. Oct. 22nd Delta KnightsSat. Oct. 23rd TBA (Call)Fri. Oct. 29th Thunder Road

Sat. Oct. 30th Spawn of Man Fri. Nov. 5th Veggies by Day

HalloweenParty

Oct. 30th

ONE PAYS! TWO PLAY!Pay just one green fee and a friend plays free. Or, pay for two green fees and two play free.

www.springmeadowsgolf.com

Monday Night ScramblesMake your own team or sign up as a single

Call the club for more information

GOLF CLUB ATCOLE FARMS

2 for 1Must present this coupon to receive onefree green fee for each paid green fee.

Cart fee mandatory for each player. Maynot be combined with other offers. Goodfor 18 holes, Mon. thru Thurs. all day, Fri.thru Sun. after 1 p.m. excluding holidays,

tournaments and twilight play.

Route 100 in Gray • Just minutes from Turnpike Exit 63For tee times contact Ben Morey at 657-2586

Senior LeagueEVERY TUESDAY

MORNINGCall the club

for more information

Benefit Bash for the Dempsey

Challenge sponsoredby KRY Autoat Lost Valley

Mary Dempsey

Gary

Hi MOM!


Jimbo & Travis

OCTOBER 2010 63783-7039

After all these years, Uncle Andy finally figured out the Rubik's cube. If he could just figure out how to make the stickers stay on again heʼd be happy.

Q: If I had 10 fish and 5 drowned, then 3 of them came back to life and we sold 2, howmany fish are left? A: STOP COUNTING FISH CANT DROWN!

111 Sabattus Street,Lewiston • 782-4104

Lunch with our Favorite Firefighters

Hug your favorite

firefighter!

Remember October is Fire Prevention Month

My favorite firefighter is right

over there on page 62on the back of

that bus!

CRAFT FAIROAK HILL HIGH SCHOOLAll proceeds to benefit

the Class of 2013

The 8th Annual HolidayCraft Fair at Oak HillHigh School, SaturdayNovember 6, 20109:00am – 2:00pm

Table rentals are $25for a 10 foot space, 6foot long tables areavailable.Please call 375-4950extension 130 to re-serve your spot!

FREE ADMISSION

Donations of crafts arewelcome

Great holiday gifts!

RefreshmentsChoose your own raffleitem50/50 Raffle and more.

ITALIAN PASTADIET

IT REALLY WORKS!

1. You walk pasta dabakery.

2. You walka pasta dacandy store.

3. You walka pasta daIce Cream shop.

4. You walka pasta datable and fridge.

You will lose weight!

783-7039


Jimbo & Travis

OCTOBER 201064

Chinese Lesson 6: I bumped into a coffee table = Ai Bang Mai Ni

The more you study, the more you know, the more you know, the more you forget, so why study?

MELANSON CONSTRUCTION, INC.84 No Name Pond Road, Lewiston, ME • 784-5899

784-5899

PAVING Call for

FREE Estimates

• Residential and

Commercial Paving

• Sweeping

• Seal Coating

WE’VE GOT HANDGUNS! HUGE SELECTION!FREE Bottle ofPepper Spray

with any handgun purchase!

Rt. 4 • Turner, MEJust past Twitchell’s Airport

[email protected]

Call Matt, Drew or Chris at 225-3432

Chris Jordan, owner 577-0210

Just a small sampleof our inventory



Florian’sFlorian’s~ Market ~~ Market ~

L/A’S LARGEST SELECTION OF BEER!

Call for commercial & residential bottle pickup

Huge selection of Fall Brews & Ciders! If you can get it in Maine, you can get it here!!Also: Kegs, growlers & mini kegs

301 Main St., Auburn 783-9098 / Open 7 Days a WeekFind us on Facebook & Foursquare

Walk-in Beer Cave • 30 door cooler

We have wine &

liquor, too!

Great pizza selection! Try our Taco & BLT Pizza!Check out our daily specials


Jimbo & Travis

OCTOBER 2010 65783-7039

I'm not getting old I'm increasing in value.

Jimbo believes everything happens for a reason... heʼs not sure yet what the reason is but believes there is one!



Mike Belanger

Dave Baab

Donna

Shop Local!Use our advertisers!!

Upcoming events: March of Dimes Auction, Ladies Night & Men’s Night • Call for details!

783-7039


Jimbo & Travis

OCTOBER 201066

Uncle Andy decided to take the road less traveled and got lost. Maybe that's why no one goes that way?

M is for Mom, not Maid!

A Maine Tradition

You Can Count On!

Portland-Lewiston Road, Gray • 657-4714 • www.ColeFarms.comJUST ONE MILE NORTH OFF EXIT 63 OF MAINE TURNPIKE

BREAKFAST BUFFET

SATURDAY & SUNDAY Now open from 7am-11am

Adults .............$6.75

6 & under .......$3.75

DAILY SPECIALS

WEEKDAY LUNCH SPECIALS

Monday - Maine Fried Shrimp

Tuesday - Fish & Chips

Wednesday - Steak Sub

Thursday - Grilled Reuben Sandwich

Friday - Fried Haddock Sandwich

Served from 10:30-3:30

Monday (until 10/17) 2 Crab Rolls . .$7.95w/Salad & Chips

Beginning 10/18 - Turkey Dinner . . . .$9.25w/potato, peas, squash, stuffing, gravy & rolls

Tuesday - Yankee Pot Roast . . . .$7.95w/Carrots, Potato & Gravy, Rolls

Wednesday - Chicken Pot Pie . . .$6.95w/Potato & Rolls

Thursday - (until 10/20) 2 Lobster Rollsw/Salad & Chips . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$12.95

Beginning 10/21 New England Boiled Dinner . . . . . .$9.25w/corned beef, potato, cabbage, carrots, turnip,beets & rolls

Friday - Lasagna . . . . . . . . . . . .$8.75w/Salad & Rolls

Sunday - Roast Pork . . . . . . . . .$8.75w/Potato, Choice of Salad, Coleslaw or Vegetable & Rolls

Hours:Monday-Thursday 6am – 9pm;

Friday 6am – 9:30pm; Saturday 6am – 9:30pm; Sunday 6am – 9pm

Jessica Field of Auburn

Friday & SaturdayAfter 4:00 PM

Prime Rib Au Jusw/Potato, Choice of Salad, Coleslaw

or Vegetable & Rolls

Friday, Saturday & Sunday

Fried or Baked Stuffed Haddock

Come to Cole Farms and try our delicious

homemade pies, cupcakes,muffins, puddings, custards,

apple crisps and more!



Rick & Cheryl Bretton


Jimbo & Travis

OCTOBER 2010 67783-7039 A husband is the only one of your children that does not grow up and move away!

A wise man once said, "Ask a woman."

CAN'T GET ENOUGH OF THE DIGEST!

I love everything about

Uncle Andy's, the one liners, the stories, the pic-tures with the captions and all the ads too....I find out

about a lot of new businesses by reading the mag. I can't get

enough of it!

Frick and Frack

Knowing they like to use pen names

in Uncle Andy’s we cameup with our own pen

names....

Out & About at Rainbow CreditUnion’s Auburn

location

Rosie

Deb

“Notice! Take lettuce from top of stack, or heads will roll!”

Joe Willisof Auburn

Jennifer Jacobs of Stylz Salon & sister of GregLambert with Linda of Gregory’s Hair & Nails

What a great cut-a-thon... If you couldn’t be there you

can still help Greg’s cause! Please call 344-9391 for ways to donate.

Out & About at Gregory’s Hair & Nails Lungs& Roses Cystic Fibrosis Cut-a-thon

money raised to benefit Greg Lambert, who is in needof a lung transplant

10/30/10

Remote Car StartersStereos • Speakers • AmpsAuto/Truck/SUV AccessoriesCar AlarmsLeather Seats and Heated SeatsNavigation SystemsWindow TintingSatellite Radio • Mobile VideoBluetooth Hands FreeGPS Systems

1009 Center St. Auburn • 333-3390 • Fax 333-3000

WINTER IS COMING!

Remote Car Starters starting at $159.00

Monday - Thursday 8-6Friday 8-5

Saturday 9-2

Ray Berube, ownerWe have over 40 quality pre-owned vehicles available now!

Find us on Facebook

FREE T-ShirtFREE Sweatshirt

with $100 purchase

with $300 purchase

with this ad / or mention Uncle Andy’s Digest Expires 10/31/10

✃ ✁

783-7039


Jimbo & Travis

OCTOBER 201070If you know someone in your life that's being a poop, flush ʻem!

Some people live life in the fast lane - I live in oncoming traffic.

CALL FOR NEXT NRA PISTOL COURSE DATES!

Hours:

9-5 Mon-Fri • 9-1 Sat

John Reid, Owner

We Buy, Sell & TradeFull Line Gun Smith Service

Buying small & large firearm collections

J.T. REID’S GUNS86 Court St., Auburn • 777-3579

Jamie Pelletier, Manager

Checkus out!

784-822185 Center Street, Auburn

EAT IN OR TAKE OUT!The PerfectPlace

to Dine anytime

of the day!Open

Sun. - Thur. 10:30am - 10pmFri. & sat. 10:30am - 11pm



Penny & Jim Myrick

Barry Richardson

Deb Bugel

David Bugel

A Paul Mitchell Color Salon D’Avanti SalonD’Avanti SalonD’Avanti SalonD’Avanti Salon782-0202

Hours: Tues - Fri. 10-6 • Saturday 10-4 (closed Sun. & Mon.) • Appointments Appreciated • Walk-Ins Welcomein the Lewiston Mall • www.davanti-salon.com

OCTOBER IS BREAST CANCERAWARENESS MONTH

We are giving away one free pink hair extension in October with a $5 or more donation to Breast cancer

100% of the proceeds goes to breast cancer


Jimbo & Travis

OCTOBER 2010 71783-7039

I know karate, kung fu, tae kwon do, jujitsu, and 27 other dangerous words.

Did You Know: The origin of the term bridal shower comes from English brides who used to buy "bride ale" for their wedding guests.

Did You Know: The 2001 Federal Tax cut added 14,368 pages to the U.S. Tax Code.

ATTENTION LANDLORDS & PROPERTY MANAGERS

*All reports are verified by a licensed Private Investigator

MID MAINE DRUG SCREENING & INVESTIGATIONSFull Service Drug Testing Company & Private Investigator

577-6000 • www.MMDRUGSCREENING.com

A La CartePricing

Available

Complete Tenant Screenings

$19per screening

Includes:• Instant National Criminal History Check• Social Security Verification• Instant Eviction Check• Sex Offender Registry Check

We also perform Pre-employment screenings,Paternity tests, Drug Screenings & PrivateInvestigations



Connie King

One day a salesmanstopped by the Jam-mer Jones farm,knocked, and Jam-mer's wife Franniecame to the door.

"Is your husbandhome, Ma'am?" heasked.

"Sure is. He's over atthe cow barn."

"Well, I got somethingto show him, Ma'am.Will I have any difficultyfinding him?"

"Shouldn't have anydifficulties... He's theone with the beard andmustache."

71 East Ave., Lewiston783-3321

www.cassiels.com We sell a full line of Bare Escentuals Mineral Makeup

New Herbal Body WrapsNew Pumpkin Sugar ScrubNew After Sun TreatmentNew Autumn PackageNew Harvest Package

Fabulous Fall Packages

• Hair • Massage • Body waxing • Electrology• Facials • Manicures• Pedicures • Bridal Packages• Spa Packages

Permanent Make-up

783-7039


Jimbo & Travis

OCTOBER 201072Women burn fat more slowly than men, by a rate of about 50 calories a day.

Women's hearts beat faster than men's.

ELECTRICAL SYSTEMS OF MAINE

ELECTRICAL CONTRACTORS1200 Minot Ave., Auburn

783-7126www.electricalsystemsofmaine.com

INDUSTRIAL & COMMERCIALELECTRICAL SPECIALISTS

‹ Electrical Installations,Service & Maintenance

ThermalImaging• Reduce Risk

• Decrease machinery &system downtime• Improve safety

‹

Control & Automation Systems• Software/Hardware Development

• Troubleshooting • Drafting

‹

ElectricalEngineering

Estimating and project management

‹

Back-up Generators

Custom Control Panels

Design & Fabrication

‹

Call about our FREE Energy Audits & Estimates

Trick or Treat

On October 6, 1683,13 families fromKrefeld, Germanyfounded Germantown,Pennsylvania. Themonth from September15 to October 15 celebrates the historyand culture of German-Americans.


Jimbo & Travis

OCTOBER 2010 73783-7039

Three-hundred-million cells die in the human body every minute.

The largest human organ is the skin, with a surface area of about 25 square feet.

20 Main St. Lisbon Falls

353-2216

Halloween CostumeRentals and Sales

• 50 different genres of costumes• Plus sizes• Kids costumes• Hand-made costumes• Make-up, wigs & accessories

If you can think of it, we probably have it!

Costumes of MaineDrapeau’s

RESERVE YOUR COSTUME NOW!

www.CostumesofMaine.comCostumes may vary from this advertisement

TOASTED TURKEY PESTO SANDWICH!

www.LuiggisPizzeria.com Brian & JacobGrandsons of Beverly at Luiggi’s

Turkey, pesto, mayo, cheese, onion& peppers on toasted Italian bread

$2.99

Try our new

Only

NEW!

Recycling

My friend's father is alocksmith in a resorttown. Once he saw agroup of beach goerspark near his shop anddump trash from theircar on his property.

As soon as they wereout of sight and walk-ing toward the beach,the locksmith pickedthe lock on their cardoor, put the garbageback inside and re-locked the car.

783-7039


Jimbo & Travis

OCTOBER 201074Did you know the yellow-orange flowers that bloom from a pumpkin vine are edible?

Did you know 90% of a pumpkin is made up of water?

In the late 19th century, millions of human mummies were used as fuel for locomotives inEgypt where wood and coal was scarce, but mummies were plentiful.

376-3303Located inside DaVinci’s Eatery

150 Mill St. • Lewiston • Mon-Fri 7:30-2pm

~ Order here & take it to go ~~ Eat in our café area ~

~ Call ahead for takeout orders ~

• Hot & Cold Sandwiches• Soups • Salads• Espresso Drinks • Gelato• Dessert Items & More

Albert Kaechele, Sr.of Auburn

I love looking at and reading everything

in Uncle Andy's Digest! It's the best

mag around!

Lori Lavoie with her daughterGrace Lynn Lavoie

Out & About at Madison Ave Salon

Mommy says I'm still too young

for foils



Will someone come up and sing

with me...

Thank you, Dan. But I was hoping

for Celeste!

Thanks, Chad. Think we can get

Uncle Andy to join us, too?

Chad Porter

Celeste Onofrio


Jimbo & Travis

OCTOBER 2010 75783-7039

Trick-or-treating is thought to have its origins in a European custom called souling where people would beg for "soul cakes."

Legendary magician Harry Houdini died in Detroit from a ruptured appendix on Halloween in 1926.

LEWISTON541 Lisbon Street, Lewiston • 784-4029 92 Pleasant Street, Brunswick • 725-2797

For All Your Commercial & Personal Insurance Needs

BILODEAU INSURANCE AGENCY2 locations to serve your needs

BRUNSWICK

JOIN US!October 9, 2010

Where: Elm StreetSchool, Mechanic FallsStarts @ 11:00am Ends @ 1:30pm Check-in time: 10-11am

Contact: Hillary GrovesPhone: 207-713-6142 E-mail: [email protected]

Anyone who would like toparticipate can register inperson at the walk! Pleaseknow that walk donationsare accepted until December31st, 2010.

The Out of the Darkness Community Walks are 3-5 milewalks taking place in over 200communities across the countrythis fall, with the proceeds bene-fitting the American Foundationfor Suicide Prevention (AFSP).By walking in the Out of theDarkness Community Walks,you will be walking with thousands of other walkers nationwide to raise money forAFSP's vital research and edu-cation programs to prevent suicide and save lives, increasenational awareness about depression and suicide and provide support for survivors ofsuicide loss. In deciding to walkyou are taking us a step closerto making suicide prevention anational priority.

In lovingmemory

of DakotaCunneen

Suicide affects everyone. Please help!

Millions of People, One common goal: SUICIDE PREVENTION

Owen GardinerGrandson of Reggie and Cathy Emery

of Reggies Sales and Service

Yep. Just picked up this bad boy over

at Reggie’s!

Help whoever you can, whenever you can, where ever you

are, with whatever you’ve got.

Paul “Barn Rat” Bernatfound at Dadʼs Place in Mechanic Falls

Courage is the art of being the only one who knows you're scared to death. – Earl Wilson

783-7039


Jimbo & Travis

OCTOBER 201076

"Toss your faded dreams not into a trash bin but into a drawer where you are likely to rummage some bright morning."

"My quest for cosmic understanding is a book I have picked up and put down many times,each time failing to insert a bookmark."

at Gregory’s Salon, 600 Center St., Auburn (Shaw’s Plaza) 786-0112

Give Back with Gregory’s!!!Come in for your service in

October wearing PINK and we’lldonate 10% of the service cost

to the Cancer Society

Join Gregory’s in making a difference in our community each month

FIRESIDE STOVE SHOPAND FIREPLACE CENTERWOOD • PELLET • GAS STOVES & FURNACES

Vermont Castings Sale

Up to $250 OFFLimited Time Offer

$1500 tax credit ends 12/31/10

1-800-224-9249 • www.firesidestoveshop.com1220 CENTER ST. • AUBURN • Near Lake Auburn on Rte. 4

784-9249

Out & About with the Rockin’

RedhattersSubmitted by

Barbara Beaucage

My five-year-olddaughter was asked byher teacher what herfather does, and shereplied, "Whatever myMom tells him to."


Jimbo & Travis

OCTOBER 2010 77783-7039 Bald eagles have 7,000 feathers.

"I enjoy many silent moments with my cat, a conversation always resumed exactly where left off."

Ray The Electrician LLCRESIDENTIAL & COMMERCIAL

Office: 225-3360 • Cell: [email protected]

Fully Insured • All Electrical Service Work• Houses• Cottages• Dormitories• Campgrounds• Schools

• Phone Cable• Camera Security• House Alarms• Lead Certified

Renovator

“My Prices Won’tShock You”

Financing Available • Some Restrictions Apply

PLUS:• Install all sizes of generators, from portable to

stand-by generators• Install permanent line poles for new housing developments

We answer any emergency call 24 hours a day / 7 days a weekLicensed in Maine, New Hampshire, Massachusetts and Vermont

Divine InstructionSubmitted by Jimbo

A golfer, now into hisgolden years, had alifelong ambition toplay one hole at Peb-ble Beach, Californiathe way the pros do it.The pros drive the ballout over the water ontothe green that is on aspit of land that juts outoff the coast.

It was something hehad tried hundreds oftimes without success.His ball always fellshort, into the ocean.Because of this henever used a new ballon this particular hole.He always picked outone that had a cut or anick.

Recently he went toPebble Beach to tryagain. When he cameto the fateful hole, heteed up an old cut balland said a silentprayer.

Before he hit it how-ever, a powerful voicefrom above said,"WAIT...REPLACETHAT OLD BALL WITHA BRAND-NEWBALL."

He complied, withsome slight misgiving,despite the fact that theLord seemed to be im-plying that He wasgoing to let him finallyachieve his lifelongambition.

(continued on next page)

783-7039


Jimbo & Travis

OCTOBER 201078

The bald eagle became the National emblem in 1782 when the great seal of the United States was adopted.

In Tokyo, a bicycle is faster than a car for most trips of less than 50 minutes.

ROLL TOWELS - ALL TYPESBathroom Tissue, Trash Liners, Plates, Cups, Napkins, ETC. • Cleaning Chemicals & Janitorial Supplies

wiper & paper

Spend $50 or more

Get $10 OFF any order!

✃Please mention Uncle Andy’s

Digest

No

Minimum

Order

NEXT DAY DELIVERY IN L/A AREA!Stop waiting in line at the Big Box stores for your paper and janitorial supplies! Just

call in your order...it’s that SIMPLE!!

120 Mill St., Auburn • 784-5779 or 1-800-439-WIPE • GoodmanWiper.com

Saturday mail delivery in Canada was eliminated by Canada Post on February 1, 1969.

Wood Pellets$199 a ton!

PREMIUM WOOD PELLETSMADE IN MAINE

BRYANT ENERGYCall for more information

33 Elm Street, Mechanic Falls

345-4301 or 1-800-698-0032

As he stepped up tothe tee once more, thevoice came downagain: "WAIT...STEPBACK... TAKE APRACTICE SWING."

So he stepped backand took a practiceswing.

The voice boomed outagain, "TAKE AN-OTHER PRACTICESWING."

He did. Silence fol-lowed.

Then the voice spokeout again: "PUT BACKTHE OLD BALL."

(continued from previous page)

Out & About with the Rockin’

RedhattersSubmitted by Barbara Beaucage


Jimbo & Travis

OCTOBER 2010 79783-7039

There are 18 different animal shapes in the Animal Crackers cookie zoo.Although Bob The Screenprinter is being considered to be the 19th.

Located on Rt. 115 in North Windham • 892-8220

Every day 20 banks are robbed. The average take is $2,500.

Your body is creating and killing 15 million red blood cells per second!

Hours: Mon - Sat 11am - 10pm • Sun 12 - 8pm

RESTAURANT 892-9922

Maggie & Dave Garry, Owners

All witches, vampires and other ghostly goblins

are welcome here!

907 Roosevelt Trail, Windham

✹ Easy on the pocketbook✹ Great for the whole family✹ Full menu always available

Casual Dining in a Relaxed Atmosphere

Trick or treat,Smell my feet,

Take me to Thatcher’s for something good

to eat!

Out & About at Gregory’s Hair & NailsLungs & Roses Cystic

Fibrosis Cut-a-thonmoney raised to benefit Greg Lambert, who is inneed of a lung transplant

Kathy & Terry

It takes a real pro to use these giant scissors,

Terry...

...oh, cut it out Kathy!

Linda & Terry

Thank you to everyone who

came out to support the cut-a-thon, checkout our ad on page 76

to see how we’re giving back this

month.

The next full moon onHalloween night will be

October 31, 2020.

783-7039


Jimbo & Travis

OCTOBER 201080Tourists visiting Iceland should know that tipping at a restaurant is considered an insult!

Tablecloths were originally meant to be served as towels with which dinner guests could wipe their hands and faces after eating!

86% of Americans decorate their

homes for Halloween.

NOWOPEN!

• Casual Dining & Classic New England Fare

• Tender & Juicy Steaks• Mouthwatering Burgers• Certified Angus Beef• Splendid Seafood• Full Bar• TVs • Eat in or Take out

www.wildseasonsinc.com

333-3053 • Open 7 Days a WeekBreakfast & lunch served 7am-4pm • Dinner served 4-9pm

Lounge hours: 11am - 11pm

Serving Breakfast, Lunch & Dinner

Check out our Bar

• Mon.-Thurs. $2 domestic draftsHappy Hour 4pm-7pm

1/2 price appetizers• 29 Bottled beers & 10 beers on tap

• Wine, mixed drinks & liquor

Featuring Sam Adams

Seasonal Brews All Month

Long

Sunday & Monday NFL FOOTBALL

Friday NightKARAOKE

Tuesday Night: Sports & Music Trivia

Inside theLewiston Mall


Jimbo & Travis

OCTOBER 2010 81783-7039

1 Garfield Road, Auburn • 344-6622

OPEN HOUSESat. Oct. 16th & Sun. Oct. 17th

BBQ on Saturday!

See details onour website

ridebackwoods.com

Giveaways!

Big Sale!

Out & About at Gregory’s Hair & NailsLungs & Roses Cystic

Fibrosis Cut-a-thonmoney raised to benefit Greg Lambert, who is inneed of a lung transplant

Cori with Terri Hamof Turner

It always feels good to know

you’ve helped someone!

Nuria with Megan

I never would have guessed that help-ing people could be so

much fun!

Halloween is the thirdbiggest party day of theyear behind New Yearʼsand Super Bowl Sunday, respectively.

Snow plowing

783-7039


Jimbo & Travis

OCTOBER 201082

A car uses 1.6 ounces of gas idling for one minute. Half an ounce is used to start the average automobile!

A Boeing 747 airliner holds 57,285 gallons of fuel.

OVER 20 YEARS OF BUILDING EXPERIENCECall 753-9887 or 576-8528 Fully Insured • Many References Available

Best prices with the highest quality workmanship.

Think Decks, Garages, & Sunrooms, too!

Our creative team can help raise the value of your home.With our affordable prices, you might be pleasantly

surprised by the outcome, and may never wantto sell your home.

“The Difference is in the Details”

Improve the comfort and beauty ofyour home by creating OPEN SPACES.

Out & About with the Rockin’ Redhatters

Submitted by Barbara Beaucage


Pix from the pastThe last couple of months we’veshared some blast from the past

photos as we celebrating our15th anniversary. They were

such a big hit we decided to dojust a few more...

Brad & CindySloat

15 years ago, UncleAndy told Brad to justwear a pair of darkshades and no onewould be able to tellwho he was. Cindysaid that was ridiculousand chose not to wearany dark shades. Weknow that is Cindy. Wethink that might beBrad, but canʼt be100% sure...

Rick & AlinaBurke

Of the pumpkins marketed domestically,99% of them are usedas Jack-o-lanterns at

Halloween.

New Auburn Social Club7 Second Street, Auburn

Plus: Pool • Darts • Shuffle BowlingOutdoorHorseshoesall the time

FMI Contact Leroy Walker 577-2694 • email: [email protected]

Saturday, Oct. 30th

halloween party

$5OFFWelcome to the team!

14 Highland Spring Plaza, Suite A • Highland Spring Road, LewistonHours: Tues. Wed. & Thu. 6am - 8pm

Fri. 6am - 3pm • Sat. 8am - 1pm786-4311Jacinta Labbe

(formerly of Sarah Jeanne’s)

Any Chemical Servicewith Jacintaexpires 10/31/10

Jacinta specializes in color, cuts, & perms. She welcomes

all former & new clients.Call today to book your appointment

14 Highland Spring Plaza, Suite A • Highland Spring Road, Lewiston

Hours: Tues. Wed. & Thu. 6am - 8pmFri. 6am - 3pm • Sat. 8am - 1pm

786-4311

N Licensed AestheticianN Licensed Massage TherapistN Full range of skin care

including Glycolic Peels

N All waxing services including Brazilian Wax

N Tinting - eyelashes & browsN Mens & Womens Cuts

N Children’s cutsN Colors N Foils N PermsN ManicuresN Pedicures

Ann Dumais Paula Tantillo Pauline Guimond Kim Galgovitch Lisa Olmstead

Sue Poulin Kelly Giambra Lysa Ronan Valerie Kelshaw

We are a full service salon

CelebratingFall

Hot & Cold Buffet-Style CateringProfessional service at an affordable price

Try Dad’s Place for your next event!

There’s NO PLACE like...

345-9009

Call Diana or Larry for more info and pricing

Holiday Parties • Company Christmas Parties

From 10 people to 300…No job too small

or too big!

Platters

Buffet

Holiday CateringHoliday Catering

Dad’s PlaceDad’s Placewww.dadsplace.infoCatering Division


Jimbo & Travis

OCTOBER 2010 85783-7039

A lightning bolt generates temperatures five times hotter than those found at the sun's surface!

The Philadelphia mint produces 26 million pennies per day!

516 Sabattus Street • Lewiston • 784-1993www.lewistonpaint.com

A New Room in Every Can

Hours: M-F 7am-5pmSat. 7:30am-1pm

For a smooth, rich finish of exceptional beauty, depend on Manor Hall® premium interior latex paints. The washable, durable finish makes Manor Hall ideal for walls, ceilings, doors and trim.Highly Scrubbable • Provides A Rich Finish • Excellent Coverage

$6 OFFper gallon

with this adLimit 4 gallons

Expires 10/31/10

"We're a paint store, not a paint department"

Now Accepting Snow Plowing, Snow Removal & Sanding Accounts

Also Offering: Excavating • Demolition • Yard MaintenanceHouse Lots • Commercial/Residential Site Work & More!

1331 Sabattus Street, Lewiston • 782-3617 • [email protected]

Est. 1945 CALL US TODAY FOR YOUR FREE ESTIMATE!

Water Damage

A mother was watchingher four year-old sonplaying outside in asmall plastic pool half-filled with water. Hewas happily walkingback and forth acrossthe pool, making bigsplashes.

Suddenly, the little boystopped, stepped outof the pool, and beganto scoop water out ofthe pool with a pail.

"Why are you pouringthe water out, dear?"asked the mother.

"Because my teachersaid Jesus walked onwater, and this waterdoesn't work," hereplied.

Driving Distance

As the boss was leav-ing the office to playgolf, he instructed hissecretary to tell allcallers that he wasaway from his desk.

Shortly after he left, amember of his four-some called to find outwhich course theywere playing that day.The loyal girl wouldonly reply that her bosswas away from hisdesk.

"Just tell me," thegolfer persisted, "is hefive miles away fromhis desk, twenty milesaway from his desk, orthirty miles away fromhis desk?"

783-7039


Jimbo & Travis

OCTOBER 201086

It is estimated that 4 million "junk" telephone calls, phone solicitations by persons or programmed machine are made every day in the United States!

A violin contains about 70 separate pieces of wood!

We love our advertisers!

Thanks for choosing us!!

JASON HALL922 Sabattus Street Lewiston • 777-7005

(Corner of Sabattus & Garcelon Streets - Across from Val’s Rootbeer)

STILL LOOKING FOR ME?

CCURATE CCOUNTING

& Tax Services, P.A.• Income Tax Returns • Sales & Use Tax • Payroll Taxes • Accounting Systems

Out & About at Rowe Auburn with the Maineiacs

Lewiston High School ROTC

Honey, Uncle Andy is here and he is a major meathead.Let’s act like we don’t

see him...





Bridget CallierThe Hairem owner

According to the U.S. Census there is an esti-mated 106 million potential treat-or-treat stops.


Jimbo & Travis

OCTOBER 2010 87783-7039 Almost half the newspapers in the world are published in the United States and Canada.

It takes glass one million years to decompose, which means it never wears out and can be recycled an infinite amount of times.

Plummer CompositesFiberglass Boat Repair

207-650-6485

“We can make your boat new again”

Structural toScratches

Blister RepairBottom Painting

Gel-coating &PaintingDetailing

Forest fires move faster uphill than downhill.

120 Center Street Plaza, AuburnMon - Fri 9:30 AM - 6:00 PM

Sat 10 AM - 3:00 PM

783-4226Vision at a Value

Now accepting most major insurances

Visit us on Facebook *Basic prescription, some limitations may apply, see associate for details

CLOSEOUT SALE!!Complete

Frame & SingleVision Lens

Must present coupon • While supplies last. • Restrictions may apply. See associate for details. • Expires 10/31/10 UA

$35Only





Jann PolandPerkins

Associate Broker/REALTOR15 years later she still

says, “I love referrals.”

When Jeff & NoraCummings startmissing their dogs,they can always pickup a copy of UncleAndyʼs Digest to seethem. Thatʼs becausetheyʼve featured theirdogs in the advertise-ment theyʼve had in theʻDigest for 15 straightyears. We certainly ap-preciate their supportand are very happy tokeep the dogs nearbyfor them.

What is a vampire's favorite sport?

Casketball

783-7039


Jimbo & Travis

OCTOBER 201088

One ragweed plant can release as many as one billion grains of pollen!

A group of geese on the ground is a gaggle, a group of geese in the air is a skein.

Do not neglectyour Septic System

For proper maintenance,it should be pumped periodically.

Liquid Waste Pumping • Portable sanitation facilities

ServiceRentalSales

We carry risers, covers,baffle replacements, septic additives.

CALL US TODAY TO SET UP AN APPOINTMENT

G.A. DOWNINGCO., INC.

111 Woodman Hill RDMinot, ME 04258

207.782.4508800.924.4500

CHRISBAIN

Determined.

376.3007

East Coast Mortgage Group, LLC

316 Center St. • Auburn

866.579.ECMG

GARYBAIN

Leadership.

East Coast Mortgage Group, LLC

316 Center St. • Auburn

866.579.ECMG

376.3007

I have an uncle down atWall Street. He used tohave a corner on the mar-ket. Now he has a marketon the corner.

Q:

Wha

t is

a va

mpi

re's

favo

rite

holid

ay?

A:

Fan

gsgi

ving

"If you want happiness for an hour --

take a nap. If you want happiness for a

day -- go fishing. If you want happiness

for a month -- get married. If you want

happiness for a year -- inherit a for-

tune. If you want happiness for a life-

time -- help someone else."

– Chinese Proverb

www.abcpool.com

Customer Appreciation EventFri. Oct. 8th & Sat. Oct. 9th

Free donuts & coffee in the morning, hot dogs & burgers at lunch!

10% OFF all chemicals & winterizing supplies


Jimbo & Travis

OCTOBER 2010 89783-7039

A leech is a worm that feeds on blood. It will pierce its victim's skin, fill itself with three to four times its own body weight in blood,and will not feed again for months. Leeches were once used by doctors to drain "bad blood" from sick patients.

There are more than 10 million bricks in the Empire State Building.

Available at:

1-800-287-3246 or 786-3246

Heating, Air Conditioning & Plumbing

137 Spring Street, Auburn

Holly’s Heating OilNow serving Lewiston/Auburn!

380 Main Street, Westbrook & 38 Elm Street, Biddeford

1-800-554-6559 or [email protected] • www.HollysOil.com

Mention this ad and receive

5¢ per gallon discountNew Lewiston/Auburn accounts only Expires 10/31/10

ANDROSCOGGIN TITLE COMPANY

95 MAIN STREET • AUBURN, MAINE 04210

Title Insurance • Title Searches • Real Estate Closings

Bart Kelsea, President

(207) 784-6413

Clarence & Irene Letourneau

Customer AppreciationWeekend

October 8th & 9th

Come meet the original founders of ABC Pool & Spa on Saturday October 9th, Clarence & Irene Letourneau, during the Customer AppreciationWeekend, which runs October 8th & 9th, at ABCPool & Spa Center, 1975 Lisbon Road in Lewiston.

Q: What do you call someone who puts poison in a person's corn flakes?A: A cereal killer.

• Vacuum Pack-aging or Wrap

• Made to orderSausage

783-7039


Jimbo & Travis

OCTOBER 201090If you counted 24 hours a day, it would take 31,688 years to reach one trillion!

REAL ESTATE • HOME IMPROVEMENT GUIDE

The Statue of Libertyarrived at its perma-nent home at Bedloe'sIsland in New YorkHarbor on June 19,1885, aboard theFrench frigate Isere. Agift of friendship fromthe people of France tothe people of theUnited States, the 151-foot-tall statue was cre-ated to commemoratethe centennial of theAmerican Declarationof Independence.

VOTE ONLINE NOWfor Lewiston/Auburn

www.bestofsurveys.comMARKET SURVEYS OF AMERICA

225-6104 or 713-0067

Stavros J. Mendros

Mark my words Uncle Andy...

there will be a casino in the Lewiston-

Auburn area.


Pix from the past

The last couple of months we’veshared some blast from the past



15 years ago Uncle Andy asked

Stavros what he sawin his future...

HOURS: Mon-Sat 7am-9pm Sun 10am-8pm

600 Turner Street, Auburn784-3434 • www.heidisauburn.com

Locallyowned andoperated

$1.00 OFF in October

Hell’s KitchenSandwich

Egg salad, bacon, swiss, avocado & cajun sauce

ServingBREAKFAST &LUNCH all day!

Try a Hell’s Kitchen

this month!

Try a Hell’s Kitchen

this month!


Jimbo & Travis

OCTOBER 2010 91783-7039 The world's termites outweigh the world's humans 10 to 1!

The sun is 330,330 times larger than the earth!

Meeting your needs in Air Conditioning,Ventilation, Heat and Refrigeration.

Owner Al Hamel • Lewiston, ME782-6336 • www.alshvac-r.com

Email: [email protected]

Save $400+If you haven’t had your heating system

cleaned in the past 12 months this is whatit may be costing you… 15% efficiency loss

of 1000 gallons of heating oil at $2.70/gal(.15%x1000/gals.x$2.70/gal.=$405.00)

or pay $149.95 and help yourself!

Specialists for installingRinnai Monitor HeatersLP, Natural Gas & K-1

Hot Air & Boiler Cleaning SpecialIncludes:

Oil Filter • Pump Screen • Nozzle • Efficiency Test

$149.95

FREE Discover Scuba Sessionwith this Ad

If you ever wanted to try Scuba Diving, here’s your chance. Come join us in

confined waters using the latest gear.

Call 784-7300 for an appointment

Barclay�s Skindivers Paradisewww.skindiversparadise.com

Emma on her first dive

Glen A. Gisel7 Main St.

(Junction of Rt. 302 & 121)Raymond

655-4635www.downeastsharpening.com

FOUR SEASON SERVICEDowneast Sharpening

Sales & Service of Outdoor Power Equipment

Complete Sharpening Service

DOLMAR shindaiwa

Go to some really cool places!

www.dragonflytrips.com • 1-888-222-6846

FALL VACATIONS ON SALE NOW!FALL VACATIONS ON SALE NOW!

Call NOW for a great price!

IT’S TIME. KICK BACK. RELAX.

1525 Lisbon StreetLewiston ME, 04240

783-6927 • 1-800-834-5706Fax: 783-2873

Mon-Fri 7:30-5:30 • Sat. 8-4

Monitor HeaterSale

See store for detailsEnds Oct. 15, 2010

Gas units only$50-100 OFF

Gf1800 - Gf3800

Alcatraz

Alcatraz, the islandprison in San Fran-cisco Bay, received itsfirst prisoners in 1934.Alcatraz, which is nolonger a prison, was(and probably still is)the best known Ameri-can prison. Trivia fans:Alcatraz was given itsname by a Spanishexplorer Juan Manuelde Ayala. In 1775 hediscovered the SanFrancisco Bay,mapped it and namedone of the islands Islade los Alcatraces, afterthe birds that inhabitedit -- the pelicans.

Halloween Tip:

Do Not Spook unlessyou are Spooken to!

In 1921, Anoka, Minn., held the first official, citywide observance of Halloween in the U.S.

783-7039


Jimbo & Travis

OCTOBER 201092

Windmills always turn counter-clockwise. Except for the windmills in Ireland!

The male penguin incubates the single egg laid by his mate. During the two month periodhe does not eat, and will lose up to 40% of his body weight.

Thought of the day: If heat makes thingsexpand...I don't have aweight problem...I'mjust HOT!

For All General Home Repairs & Improvements

784-8922

HOME IMPROVEMENT SERVICESPaint Man & Roof dawg

are ready to save the day!

Interior & Exterior PaintingRoofs of all sizes

• Carpentry• Sheetrocking• Plumbing• Flooring

FREE ESTIMATES

The placement of a donkey's eyes in its head enables it to see all four feet at all times.

995 Center Street, AuburnHours: Mon-Fri 9am-5:30pm; Sat 9am-2pmwww.granitemarblecountertops.net

995 Center Street, AuburnHours: Mon-Fri 9am-5:30pm; Sat 9am-2pm

www.granitemarblecountertops.net

786-5556

FAMILY OWNED AND OPERATED!FAMILY OWNED AND OPERATED!Over 200

colors from aroundthe world!

Also offering Quartz countertops

Cambria, HanStone, Silestone, Zodiaq,

Caesarstone, Viatera

786-5556





Reggie Emery IIIThe 3rd generation ofchainsaw specialistsfrom Reggieʼs Sales &Service. Heʼs was 18years old in this photo.

Jimbo told Uncle Andythat Reggie III wouldwant to kill him for run-ning this photo again.We tried to defuse thesituation by asking thefollowing questions...

Is a chainsaw in handworth two in the bush?Also we need to knowwhy George Washing-ton didnʼt use a chain-saw when he cut downthat cherry tree. Reg-gie Sr. says it might bebecause George, eventhough he was brilliant, probably didnʼt know tosharpen the chainproperly.


Jimbo & Travis

OCTOBER 2010 93783-7039 Uncle Andy has rocks in his head.

Human teeth are almost as hard as rocks.

Trash & Garbage • Furniture & Appliances • Construction & Demolition DebrisBoilers & Scrap Metal • Brush & Trees • Buildings Demolished & Removed

Fall is a great time to clean

out attics, cellars & garages!

Over 10 years making unwanted stuff go away!!

Paul & Mike Farrell

Farrell EnterprisesFarrell Enterprises

Property ServicesEspecially Foreclosures

Trash outs, Lock changes & secured, Cellars pumpedDemolition (one room or the whole building)

Roofing, painting porches and other light repairs

Geez, Dad is always on the

phone!

Great! You saw my ad in Uncle Andy’s Digest!!

We’ll be right over...

CALL US FOR A FREE

QUOTE!

Fully Insured

782-5300 or 576-2501

Life With Ski-dooby Frenchie Gagne

Taxi?This is another story about

my dim-witted cousin, Rejean Samson Ski-doo.

I wasn't aware that Ieven had a cousinnamed Rejean SamsonSki-doo until I needed ataxi many years ago.Ski-doo was a cabdriver, one would neverforget.

As we approached a redlight in a busy part of thecity, I realized that hehad no intentions ofstopping. When Iscolded him for goingthrough a red light, hejust told me to relax. Hesaid that he and his"best friend" do it all thetime. It was obvious thatthis ride would be dan-gerous. As we nearedanother set of trafficlights, I held my breathas we again zipped rightthrough it. He assuredme that this was okay ashe and his "best friend"do this all the time.

I began to relax as wecame to the next set oflights because the signalwas green. This time,however, Rejean Sam-son Ski-doo stopped!I screamed at him! "Thelight is green, why areyou stopping?"As he looked both wayshe replied, “Hey, younever know when mybest friend might bearound.”

A classic story from15 years ago...

783-7039


Jimbo & Travis

OCTOBER 201094A hippo can open its mouth wide enough to fit a 4 foot tall child inside!

REAL ESTATE • HOME IMPROVEMENT GUIDE

A mole can dig a tunnel 300 feet long in just one night!

Life With Ski-dooby Frenchie Gagne

The Mill Brothers

This is another storyabout my dim-witted

cousin, Rejean SamsonSki-doo.

One day at the mill,Emile and Ski-doo wereworking side by side,telling each other talltales and lies. Just asEmile was about to tellhis own tale, he was toldto pick up the telephone.He spoke for only a mo-ment, and began weep-ing immediately afterhanging up.

He told Rejean that itwas bad news, that hisfather had died. Rejeaninstructed him to gohome, be with his family,and begin funeralarrangements. Emilesaid he would finish theday and then take sometime off.

About twenty minuteslater, Emile was told thathe had another phonecall. After hanging upfrom this call, he beganto cry again!

"What's wrong now?"asked Rejean SamsonSki-doo.

"What a bad day,"replied Emile. "That wasmy brother. His fatherdied, too."

A classic story from15 years ago...

Q: What is a Mummy's favorite type of music?

A: Wrap!

FALL & WINTER PROJECTS

Call 345-TWINor 576-5494 or 740-0040

TWINCONSTRUCTION

Certified Lead Safe Renovator

Get ready for winter! Call us for a FREE plowing

quote. Residential& commercial

Twin Construction can do it!New construction • Remodeling • Roofing

Flooring • Windows • Light excavation & more!


Jimbo & Travis

OCTOBER 2010 95783-7039 The average person has over 1,460 dreams a year.

The Earth weighs around 6,600,000,000,000,000,000,000 tons.

"Women have to har-ness their power -- it'sabsolutely true. It's justlearning not to take thefirst no. And if you can'tgo straight ahead, yougo around the corner."

– Cher

A perfect summer day iswhen the sun is shining,the breeze is blowing, thebirds are singing, and thelawn mower is broken.

– James Dent

800-561-8506Oxford/Auburn

Guilty PleasureSubmitted by Jimbo

It was moving day. Theprevious owners weregoing to finish movingout that morning, andwe were going to startmoving in that after-noon.

We showed up just asthey were finishing up,around lunchtime. Thecouple was sittingdown for a breather be-fore they left. The wifesuggested to her hus-band that they go toMcDonald's for lunch.She told us with guiltypleasure, "I know it'snot good for me, but Ijust love burgers andfries."

Her husband had asomewhat disgustedlook on his face. Hetold us, in all serious-ness, "Not me. I'm ameat and potatoesman."

Q: Why did the game warden arrest the ghost?

A: He didn't have a haunting license.

783-7039


Jimbo & Travis

OCTOBER 201096

Uncle Andy wants you to check out his new website: www.wwwdotcom.com

Due to intense mind fog, all thoughts have been grounded.

OCTOBER

SPECIAL

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Documents

Uncle Andy's Digest