The Testing Times - August 2009

Reports Reviews Legends Cranks Riders Kit Old Skool Carbon

SEE MORE AT WWW.PLANET-X-BIKES.COM PAGE 1

INSIDE: THE RETURN OF

PAUL GITTINS - CYCLING’S

SUPERSTAR OF THE 70s

WARNING: Contents may offend

Bigger and better...are there no limits?

AUGUST 2009

WHAT’S IN THIS ISSUE?

NEW FEATURE - Top 5

Smelliest Testers!! The truth is

told!!!

Old Skool Series update

Harry Hill - by Peter Whitfield

Gambling - on / in lycra

How to be a Scratch man—Part 2

by that nice Mr Kish

Frankly Franklin

Carole Gandy - by Sue Fenwick

Who’s Hot - and Who’s Not!

Pages

Photos

Text

All there is to know about caring

for your latex, rubber and leather

gear by Nob (well who else?)

Even a competition and a chal-

lenge!

Through this illustrious publication

I think it would be fair to say we’ve

got to know a bit more about some

of cycling’s legends - the riders we

used to read about when time trial-

ling got decent press and such

gifted journo’s such as Bernard

Thompson, Dennis Donovan and

Martin Ayres used to pen their

pieces of literary genius in the in-

terests of our beloved pastime.

As a team we’ve managed to track

down a number of true “greats” from

the world of time trialling and whilst

one or two have been reluctant to come

forward, in the majority of cases we’ve

been fortunate enough to come up with

one thing or another - some of it might

even have been remotely interesting.

Many of time trialling’s icons still re-

main targeted - Cottington, Roach,

Lloyd, Woodburn, Honk and Baz still

rate highly on the top of our hit-list and

hopefully, by the time any future issues

of Testing Times have gone to print,

our intrepid reporters will have tracked

them down and be in a position to tell

us what made them tick.

In this issue, one of cycling’s super-

stars of yesteryear, Paul Gittins, tells us

about his ambitions to turn back the

clock and return to top flight testing.

Bearing in mind what Paul achieved

over the many years he ruled the roost

in both short and long distance time

trialling we couldn’t have hoped for a

bigger “name” to add to our “You’ve

been framed” list.

Thanks Paul...it’s been a pleasure.

And…

….at last we’ve got someone on the

continental professional circuit that

will allow us domestic testers to com-

pare our talents against the likes of

Contador, Cancellara and Armstrong.

Bradley Wiggins took 2:41 out of Jack

Green in Kent Valley RCs open 10 in

June (before getting dq’d for using a

naughty wheel). Does that mean that

Green would have finished 153rd out

of the 158 finishers in the Stage 18

time trial of this year’s TdF and in so

doing beat Fabian Wegman in the

process? Good game eh?

Time trial legend Paul Gittins

features inside!

Photo courtesy Andy Waters.


A new series following on

from an earlier reference in

this very same publication to

smelly cyclists (something

wot Ian Franklin wrote!).

Bystanders at one of Team Sanjan

Design’s recent open events couldn’t

help but notice the arrival of Sam

Barker (Planet X) when he turned up

at the start “dressed” in a masculine

blend of luxurious, woody and arid

fragrances. The not unpleasant aroma

was left wafting around the start area

for several minutes after Barker’s

departure. As a measure of the lon-

gevity of the product being used,

(we’ll be using this as a measure

from now on) riders from as far

afield as those “on an 8” were still

remarking on the scent long after

Barker had left the scene. Naturally

Barker was on an “0” - it doesn’t

take a scientist to work out that’s 8

minutes…..quality stuff eh?

Alan Crane, Team Sanjan Design’s

chief pusher-offer, rated Barker’s

smell highly. One of his closest

“confidents” let it slip that Crane was

reluctant to let Barker go after the 5

4 3 2 1 countdown such was the ef-

fect the aroma had on him. “I’ve

smelt all sorts in my long and illus-

trious career as a pusher-offer and

consider myself fortunate to have

been blessed with such a sensitive

nasal cavity. I certainly wouldn’t be

where I am today without that!

“Whatever Sam was wearing was

something else and to be quite honest

I haven’t needed to wash since being

that close to him. It was powerful

stuff all right!!” he might have said!

(If Mr Crane hasn’t washed since

then he won’t be featuring in the top

4 … then again….he just might!!)

Top 5 smelly Testers -

No 5 - Sam Barker

Sam Barker (Planet X) and Alan Crane (Team Slam Bam De-

sign) - even Barker appears to be overcome with the fumes.

Photo courtesy David Jones

Do you know any “testers’ that smell? We’re on the look out for the

smelliest! If you’ve ever held up anyone you’ve been only too pleased

to push off let us know! We’ve already got the top 5 lined up but are

“flexible” if anyone has any particularly nice pictures of the fairer sex

to offer. ;-) [email protected]


East Anglian CC Event winner, the right hon-

ourable Adrian Perkin (Godric CC) appears to

have snubbed the Country’s leading time trial

competition (Planet X’s Old Skool Series) by

turning his attention to three wheels. Close

friends of the area’s most successful “comeback

kid” of 2009 have reported that Perkin did not

consider the Series to be hard enough. Despite

having left the field for dead when he won the

East Anglian round in March, he has not en-

tered any further qualifying events leaving the

competition wide open for the lesser mortals

that yearn for their 15 minutes of fame.

Regular readers of Testing Times will no doubt re-

call Perkin flying round the B25/4 course near Attle-

borough in an unforgettable 1-39-04. His time,

when seen in print, was questioned by more than

one keen enthusiast - “You sure that’s right?” Well

we jest not! A 1-39 indeed...which is no mean feat

going Old Skool!

Perkin, on the other hand, is said to have consid-

ered that ride “a breeze” and in the quest for more

of a challenge decided to make it even harder by

adding a third wheel. While still “flicking” deep

section rims, tri-bars, “funny pointed hats” and all

other “fandangled, poncy aero gizmos”, Perkin

knocked out an incredible 1-4-50 in Norwich ABC’s

promotion on the same B25/4 course in early July.

Testing Times’ reporters are endeavoring to track

down Perkin to research the phenomenal improve-

ment for review in a future issue.

In the meantime, Planet X management fear

Perkin may be about to undermine its very own and

highly successful “It wer ard Boggle Hole weekend”

by challenging northern hard man Wayne Randle to

a man-o-man, no holds barred “Fisticuffs in the Far

East Furor”. The word on the street is that Perkin is

planning to head up a “Whelk Weekend” at Great

Yarmouth (that’s in East Anglia ….about as far east

as you can get!) during which any competitor’s real

constitution will become evident. Further details

may, or may not, be released shortly.

A slap on each of Randle’s cheeks with a wet fish

has been issued by Perkin (isn’t that something they

did in the olden days with a glove to issue a chal-

lenge?).

While Perkin continues to go from strength to

strength, Randle hasn’t improved on his year’s fast-

est ‘10’ time which he set in City RC Hull’s Old

Skool event at Easter (and in which he whimped out

by going all aero!). Perkin is said to be

“unimpressed”.

Old Skool Series

snubbed by Round

2 winner Perkin takes to three wheels

Adrian Perkin (Godric CC) en-route to a place in time trial

history. Photo courtesy Mark Cozens

www.mphotography.co.uk


Harry Hill, who died in February this

year at the age of 92, was a brilliant

rider who was potentially among the

greats of time-trialling. His versatile

career had many highlights on road

and track, but it is often forgotten that

in 1938 he became the first man in

England to achieve every time-

triallist’s dream – breaking the hour

for the 25.

Born in Clayton-le-Moors in 1916,

Harry and his family moved to Shef-

field, where his first club was the

Sheffield Phoenix. By the time he was

twenty – in the year of the Berlin

Olympics – he was one of the fastest

25-milers in the country, riding 1:2’s

and 1:3’s, at a time when Frank

Southall’s record stood at 1:0:59. He

was selected for the Olympic team

pursuit squad, and having been

granted time off from his work as a

motor mechanic, he set off to ride

from Sheffield to London, to join the

others for final training at Herne Hill.

They took the bronze medal at Berlin,

but one of his chief memories was

arriving back at Victoria Station with-

out a penny, and facing a 200-mile

ride back to Sheffield! He was about

30 miles from home when exhaustion

set in, and he thumbed a ride in a

lorry, telling the driver, “I’ve just won

a medal in the Olympic Games.”

“Well done lad,” replied the driver,

“Chuck t’bike in t’back and I’ll see

thee home.” When he died, Harry was

believed to be one of the two last sur-

viving British participants of the Ber-

lin Olympics.

Harry was such an admired

rider that in 1937 a fund was organ-

ised by Cycling magazine to send him

to Milan to attack the hour record,

which he did in great style, setting a

new world amateur mark of 27 miles

1124 yards. At the end of that year he

turned professional for John Bull

tyres. His first pro race was a pursuit

at Herne Hill against the world pro

road champion, Eloi Meulenberg,

which Hill won convincingly, catch-

ing his man in eight laps.

Harry set his sights on the

sub-hour 25 in 1938, but of course as

a professional he could not compete

in open time-trials any more, so it

would have to be a private ride. The

59-minute ride had been long talked

about, and Southall was the man fan-

cied to do it, but never quite managed

it. There was a strong added motiva-

tion for English riders because of the

strange fact that the hour had report-

edly been broken as far back as Oc-

tober 1934 in Ireland, by a rider

named Aloysius Donegan of Portar-

lington. Riding a course near Navan

in County Meath, Donegan had not

only beaten the hour, but well and

truly smashed it, recording 59:05.

Only a couple of weeks later Done-

gan recorded 2:3:47 for a 50, almost

two minutes faster than the English

comp record at that time.

Donegan’s sub-hour ride

wasn’t exactly given the headline

treatment in the English cycling

press, and it has to be admitted that

there was a fair amount of scepticism

about it: had the course really been

measured correctly, it was asked?

This scepticism increased in 1936

when George Fleming, while on

Harry Hill… and the first sub-

hour 25 by Peter Whitfield


holiday in Ireland, recorded a time of

57:56 in a private trial on the same

course. Now Fleming was a class

rider, and much later – after the war

– he would become the first man in-

side two hours for the 50. But sud-

denly to go fully three minutes faster

than Southall’s English competition

seemed frankly incredible. In 1937

riding back in England, Fleming took

just one second off of Southall’s

time.

So the challenge was there,

to break the hour in a manner that

could allow no doubt, and Harry was

determined to do it. By the summer

of 1938, Fleming had taken the re-

cord down to 1:0:16, so the race for a

slot in the history books was defi-

nitely on. But it proved a tough

proposition, and it took Harry three

attempts. Using the old O2 courses

on the A1 in South Yorkshire which

he knew well, he rode a 1:0:39 and

then a 1:0:29. These times were

much faster than he had done as an

amateur, but to chip away that last

half-minute was evidently going to

require something special. Perhaps

that something special came when he

had the idea of riding the course in

the reverse direction, from north to

south, to take advantage of the pre-

vailing south-westerly wind on the

run home, for finally in the last week

of June 1938, he got it. Starting at 5

am, the breeze was already fresh, and

he hammered to the 12-mile turn in

31 minutes, just 24 mph. He then

picked up speed for the return as

planned, pushing up to 26 mph on his

84-inch fixed, and came home to tri-

umph in 59:57. The ride was timed by

officials from the RTTC and the NCU,

so there was not a shadow of doubt

about it.

Harry’s time was reported in

the press, but of course it was not a

competition record because he was a

professional. The fact that it never

appeared in the RTTC record-book

has meant that his achievement has

often been overlooked: it was some-

how stigmatised because it was by a

professional. In November Harry

travelled up to Edinburgh to attack

the RRA 50 record, and took two

minutes off Southall’s mark with

1:44:30, riding on a 92-inch fixed.

It was in June 1939 that

Ralph Dougherty of the Leamington

C. & A.C. finally took the RTTC 25

record inside the hour, with his time

of 59:29. But it wasn’t until 1946

that Bas Francis set a time in Eng-

land that was the best achieved any-

where in competition, improving at

last on that slightly mysterious time

of Donegan’s, a dozen years before.

In late August 1939 Harry

travelled to Milan to take part in the

World Championships, but every-

one’s mind was on the impending

war, and the event was cancelled at

the last minute. Harry had to dash

back across France in hasty retreat,

as did Reg Harris and the others. The

war brought his career to a halt, and

afterwards he was kept out of the

sport as an ex-professional. The

1940s and 50s should have been his

best years, and he could undoubtedly

have won championships and broken

records. When he was finally al-

lowed back in, he won the VTTA

BAR no less than five times between

1972 and 1983, and in 1986 he be-

came the first 70-year-old to get un-

der the hour with, 59:54. When he

retired from full-time work at the age

of sixty, he celebrated by riding

across America! Harry Hill was a

versatile and truly great rider, who

has a unique place in time-trial his-

tory.

A legend...and a really nice bloke

to boot….Ed

Using the old O2 course on

the A1 in South York-

shire ...he had the idea of

riding the course in the

reverse direction, from north

to south, to take advantage

of the prevailing south-

westerly wind on the run

home...and came home to

triumph in 59:57.

Harry took two minutes off

Southall’s record to break the

RRA 50 figures with a 1-44-30

riding a 92” fixed.


This two-part article is

loosely based on one of the

most humorous pieces that I

have ever seen in ‘Cycling’,

circa 1966. I’m unsure of the

author and have been unable

to trace the article, but feel

that it is right to document

that although I have updated

this from over 40 years ago,

the original idea is not mine.

So, with grateful thanks and

acknowledgements to the un-

known author …….

(So, having read Part One in last

month’s Testing Times and having

executed everything properly, you

should by now have a few glances in

your direction and possibly some dar-

ing onlookers slowly shuffling to-

wards your Majestic presence

…. Now read on!)

How to be a ‘Scratch-Man’

(Part Two – from when your bum first

touches the saddle!)

The Warm-Up – This is always done

as fast as possible starting about 20

seconds behind someone unfancied,

usually on a ‘9’ number.

The trick here is to adopt a relaxed

face for about half a minute whilst

riding at 101%. You should gain on

the unfancied rider in front and when

you’re about 5 seconds behind him,

slow right up – the point has been

made; you don’t need to pass

him! Retrace and repeat once or

twice more taking care not to get

mowed down by the fancied ‘10’ rider

behind you.

By now, almost everyone will be

aware of you – crowds of Hutch ad-

mirers may be contemplating slowly

drifting towards you as your ‘day-

slave’ applies embrocation to your

legs – you can’t do it; you’re holding

your mobile to your ear listening to

your non-existent helper at the turn

reporting traffic conditions.

Your occasional ‘ah-ha’, ‘OK’ and

‘right then’ will add authenticity to

your ‘phone-y’ conversation.

Being Pushed Off – Arrive exactly

59 seconds before your start time and

greet both timekeeper and pusher-off

with their names. Start sheet will

reveal the name of the former and

asking around will identify the lat-

ter. A polite greeting of ‘Good

morning Frank, good morning Peter’

will impress spectators, who will

now be gathered there in swarms to

see your starting effort.

Closing your eyes with 30 seconds to

go and raising your head for divine

guidance may well be interpreted as

the mark of something special that is

about to happen!

Start as powerfully as you can with a

Lloydy-ish war cry and don’t worry

– it doesn’t last too long!

The Actual Ride – Strangely

enough, one of the least important

parts of the day!!

Look stylish and use huge

gears. Completing the course and

actually getting a time is risky, so

consider an early bath at an oppor-

tune time when out of sight of the

starting point. This also helps the

bike maintain it’s immaculate ap-

pearance, as you don’t get too many

marks after the short distance on the

road.

The Post-Ride Analysis – Whatever

you do, even if you win by minutes

HOW TO BE A ‘SCRATCH-MAN’

(Part Two – from when your bum

first touches the saddle!)


and break competition record, you MUST act disap-

pointed. All manner of previously rehearsed excuses will

now come into play ranging from wrong ratio of base

metals in the frame alloy, through various items of me-

chanical failure (loose seat post is a good ‘un) right up to

being baulked and having to circumnavigate a round-

about twice.

The Result Board – and …..

Golden Rule 2 – Never write down anyone else’s

times. It’s unimportant to a man on a mission such as

you. Just stand there remorsefully sighing and shaking

your head. Be prepared to answer lots of questions about

‘what happened’.

Refuse all tea, coffee and cakes – your perfect dietary

balance may be thrown out of equilibrium. As optional,

you can announce that the cakes look nice, and if only

you were allowed ….. !!

Thank the organiser, shake his hand and depart, awaiting

your notification by post for an Oscar nomination.

So, there you have it; how to create an aura of being

an unlucky fast-man without having to train ….. and

if all goes well, your reputation will be established

and after your departure, people will be whispering

of what could have been on that day had luck been on

your side.

In closing, I offer one quick word of warning – your

body may treat your warming-up efforts as high in-

tensity interval training and as a result, you may actu-

ally become quite fast off the blocks.

If this is the case, consider giving up time trialling,

writing your memoirs and dropping a quick line to

Sir Chris to tell him that you’ll see him in 2012.

Await his well-publicised reply of ‘on yer bike!’

by that nice Mr Kish (aged 131)

Alf Engers (left) the

ultimate Scratch-man.

Photo from

Bernard Thompson’s

Cycling Archive.

Do YOU want to be a Scratch-man? Enter one of Planet X’s remaining Old Skool Series events and you’re in

with (at the very most) a 1 in 120 chance - much better odds than the National Lottery don’t you think?

Participation alone will result in world-wide recognition - claim your 15 minutes of fame by being part of it.

Be there … or be square!

Let’s face it. Every club

has its own characters,

oddballs, strange people

and committee members.

I’m one of those, our

lovely editor may be one

and I’m sure, you the

reader, may be the other.

I was first alerted to this phenomena

in my first club, the now-deceased

Folkestone and District Cycling

Club. There were characters in that

club that will live with me for-

ever. As usual though, I’ll change

their names to protect the guilty and

to stop me getting sued. First up was

the Chairman – a Labour Councilor

who used to live on the same council

estate as me. I’ll call him Gordon

Blair. He was probably one of a

small handful of socialist councilors

in a town that was Tory dominated,

but had served so long and was so

popular that the Tories once voted

for him to be town mayor.

A bit lethal on his bike was our

Gordon. He only had one eye and

couldn’t ride in a straight line. Club

runs with him were fun as you can

imagine! For a start he always rode

fixed wheel and East Kent is

not exactly known for its flat roads

(that is if you exclude the Romney

Marshes). He was quite, shall we

say, portly and sweated buckets on

every club run. Indeed, he produced

so much external liquid that we were

able to fill our aluminum water bot-

tles by holding them under his

chin whilst riding along. On one oc-

casion his glass eye fell out and we

were all off our bikes and scrabbling

around the verge trying to find it.

He was backed by his sidekick, the

club’s treasurer I believe, known as

‘The Flycatcher’. Forget about my

erstwhile colleague’s dirty fly-strewn

bike – this guy was the real deal. He

used to ride for mile after mile with

his mouth wide open and every mile

or so spit out the mouthful of flies

that he had trapped. Covered in glob-

ules of saliva they usually landed on

the guy riding behind to his left, so

we soon learnt that was a place to be

avoided. Any new rider was always

told to ride in that exact spot where

the poor sod would remain until he

wised up. I’ve often wondered if The

Flycatcher was responsible for

Gordon’s lost eye.

Every club has a character who

lives on his bike, eschews

any close contact with members of

the opposite sex and is a fount of all

knowledge. Welcome ‘The Sheriff’.

He always encouraged the kids,

taught us many skills and these days

would be the cornerstone of any Go-

Ride scheme. He owned the first set

of rollers I’d ever seen and we spent

hours in his garden shed learning to

pedal a tiny fixed gear whilst balanc-

ing on said rollers. His elderly mum

fed us the most wonderful home

made cakes and cups of tea. The

great thing about The Sheriff was

that he lent out bikes or wheels so us

sproggs could ride the local tens or

open 25s on the Q8, and my first de-

cent bike was bought from him sec-

ondhand. It was a Macleans with an

extra long wheelbase which I used

for some years. Other bikes were an

all-chrome RO Harrison, a Claud

Butler (when they were real bikes),

a Hetchins and a couple of trikes. He

had the lot.

Off course like most characters he

had his eccentricities. His was ‘the

karate chop’. Any untoward event

such as a puncture, a broken cable, a

bad time trial or inclement weather

used to produce the famous edge-of-

hand karate chop on his handlebars

accompanied by the risque word

‘damn’. We had the last laugh when

he once chopped his bars so hard that

they snapped in two. In those days

we were all without motor vehi-

cles so he had to manipulate his

trike for the 24 miles home with a

dangling handlebar and a bit of wood

stuck in the remaining bit of his

bars. I lost touch with him but many

years later I learnt that he’d met a

spinster in the village, given up rid-

ing and spent his time playing with a

model railway that he had built in his

garden.

Mike the Midget lived just around

the corner. I always saw him as a

Cycling Characters and Unsung Heroes

by Ian Franklin

Dan Dare would have been a

cycling character if he’d had a

bike.


somewhat privileged individual as

his father owned the only radio and

record player shop in town and my

mum used to rent a radio from them.

Mike did his best to keep the club

going as the numbers dwindled over

the years and was always full

of misguided enthusiasm. Only a few

years older than me I always thought

he acted and dressed like an old man

and until a few years ago still rode

around Kent lanes in plus fours (or

woolly shorts on hot days), a very

old Folkestone & District jersey and

long colourful socks. I’m certain that

when young potential members came

along and saw this oddball, they beat

a hasty retreat. Its no coincdence that

Velo Club Deal went from strength

to strength as the Folkestone de-

clined.

Finally my mate George. Gorgeous

George. We went to school together

and whilst I flew at the top of the A

stream, poor George struggled at the

bottom of the Cs. Mind you he was a

quicker rider than me and his parents

were reasonably well off so George

was able to afford a top-of-the-range

something or the other and always

looked quite cool. When I was eight-

een he was really miffed that I’d got

an apprenticeship on Cycling & Mo-

peds (that’s our comic before it be-

came Spor Teef Weekly), so he set

about undermining me in the best

way he could. Back in the mid-

sixties the comic used to do a weekly

column with snippets of info and

silly stories from all over. I’d been

home for the weekend and George

told me that “the club’s new rule is

that all riders must use their bikes for

the club room, if they turn up by car

it’ll cost double the club night fee”. I

duly reported this to the editor Alan

Gayfer who told me to write it up

and put it in the snippets column,

which I duly did.

On Wednesday, publication day,

the ‘phone calls came in from an en-

raged Folkestone readeship. Gordon,

Flycatcher, Sheriff and Mike were all

on the line demanding a retraction

for this outrageous lie. Gorgeous

George had got his own back and I

was well and truly set up. Fortu-

nately, Alan saw the funny side.

Now talking about working on the

comic, I won’t go into the late Alan’s

eccentricities but he was no doubt

the best editor that the magazine had

ever had. He loved the sport and he

also loved to set you up. In those

days, pre-computer and all that, we

used to be in the office on Sunday

evenings to take copy (ie race reports

and results) on the ‘phone and put

the last news pages to bed. It used to

take virtually all night. On my first

evening I was given a set of head-

phones, a typewriter and a pile of

paper and told to take copy

from Anne Horn, the Scottish corre-

spondent. Anne was in a penny

‘phone box somewhere in the far

north. It was no doubt cold, wet and

windy. I couldn’t understand

her thick Scottish accent so mistake

number one: I kept asking her to re-

peat which annoyed her a bit. Mis-

take number two was to ask her to

slow down as I couldn’t type.

This copy-taking session just went

on and on as she gave me the unpro-

nounceable names of riders who rode

for unpronounceable clubs. I think

Anne was used to doing this

in twenty minutes so by the time 55

minutes had expired she’d run out of

pennies and run short of temper.

However, I duly compiled the re-

sults, they were published in that

week’s comic and Wednesday morn-

ing once again produced a flurry

of ‘phone calls from anguished rid-

ers and clubs miffed at being called

such things as Bert McFeather of

Clacking Chickens CC or Mac

MacMac of Wren Threw Shire Wil-

lies. I later learnt that on the follow-

ing Sunday evening Anne pleaded

with Alan to keep me off

the ‘phones. I think I had to make tea

and clean bikes instead.

Spiderman probably never

EVER rode a bike but he’s

many people’s hero….as is

Gordon Hart (Icknield RC)

course-measurer / time-

keeper extraordinaire and

organizer of the Luton /

Icknield “12” since Pontius

was a pilot...an unsung hero

if ever there was one.


Do YOU know an unsung hero?

Let us know about him / her.

[email protected]

Photo from Icknield RC’s web-site


Cyclists are well known for ‘having

a rush of blood to the head’, usually

however, after a night’s sleep, the

good idea has turned out to be im-

possible. That is unless your name is

Andrew G. Clarke. Three years my

junior, Andrew followed my foot-

steps, or should I say wheel marks. A

Shropshire lad and member of the

rival Mid-Shropshire Wheelers, he

was brought up back in the 70s on

the unforgiving roads known to any-

one who has ridden a ‘D’ course in

North Shropshire. Immersed in the

folklore which was prevalent at that

time, in what was primarily the ‘Alf

says nod’ era, he was hooked on time

trialling and gradually heightened the

bar as he went, eventually winning

the Shropshire CCA ‘25’ champion-

ship in the late 70’s, before pursuing

his dream of a fast ‘25’ and looking

good at the same time. Not always

easy. Those around then may re-

member his trademark headband,

with his mop of dark curly hair

catching the wind as he went. De-

spite this, he still did a 53.42, in

1982, on the old E72, very respect-

able ride on the day as it was won by

‘25’ maestro of that time, Martin

Pyne, with a ‘50’. Engers himself, on

yet another comeback managed a

‘52’. Andrew’s diet of short distance

training curtailed any longer event

ambitions and at the end of 1984 he

hung up his racing wheels, concen-

trated on work and disappeared from

the scene.

An attempted comeback in 1991 was

too much, and with that he set about

life in Indonesia, where, after a di-

vorce, he met his second wife, Dea,

and started a new young family. His

job working for Diageo, owners of

Guinness, Johnnie Walker, Gordon’s,

Smirnoff and 300 other alcoholic bev-

erages, took him all around the world,

and as the lifestyle took its toll, he

piled on the pounds. Living out of a

suitcase and abuse of the body by sam-

pling his wares as he went, left him far

from any level of fitness at all.

However, once a cyclist always a cy-

clist, and those memories and friend-

ships made many years previous, were

never far from his thoughts. So when

the idea of riding 50 miles at 50 years

of age came up - bearing in mind

his once lean, mean, racing ma-

chine of a body was now 99kg - it

seemed like a tough challenge.

Then long time friend, Tony

James, suggested joining the Mer-

seyside Vets and trying to attain

his standards at 10, 25, 30 and 50

miles. This was all that Andrew

needed to galvanise himself into

action.

After starting to ride his bike again

in September, 2008, the cobwebs

were blown away on the poorly

surfaced roads of Jakarta. With

speed bumps every half mile and

traffic only moving along at 20

mph, this task was going to require

patience! This he displayed as he

strived to shed some pounds and

retrieve some of his former fitness.

His arrival in the UK on 2nd June

saw the start of 4 very hectic

weeks, catching up with family,

old friends, and racing just about

everything that was on offer.

Bikes, clothing, courses, training

had all changed dramatically in 25

years and current methods were

somewhat difficult to absorb. But

absorb them he did and the day

after landing, he threw himself into

the Oswestry Paragon ‘10’ and

somehow produced a remarkable

24.00! Shock to the system this

was, but also confirmation that

‘there was life in the old

dog……..’. The customary head-

band was also out of storage, soak-

ing the sweat from under his new

From Jakarta to K16 …All for his

VTTA Standard!

by Alan Roberts

Andrew Clarke Southend and County ‘25’, 53:42, 6 June 1982


aero helmet and with those curly

locks giving way to a ‘number 3’,

this fit the bill perfectly. Always a

man for speed, between the ‘10’ on

the Wednesday and the weekend he

found time to take a trip down mem-

ory lane in his Porsche 911 Turbo , a

boy’s toy he could not give up when

he left these shores. This was given

some action during the trip over, but

never distracted him from the main

objective.

With the first test at 50 miles due in

the Manchester Wheelers event, a

wet three laps of Chelford was con-

sidered a hindrance to the long term

plan, and so the energy was saved for

the following morning’s ‘25’ on the

more familiar roads of Shropshire.

As a lad he had learned his trade on

these roads over 30 years ago.

D25/8, Prees Heath the venue and

Chester RC putting on the ‘Alf Jones

Memorial’ ‘25’, full of adrenalin An-

drew did a 1.2.22, well inside the

standard for his age. Two days later

and only a week after landing at

Manchester, his consistency was evi-

dent with a 1.2.12, done in the

Shropshire CCA Championship

‘25’. No win this time but happy

reflections back to the late 70’s,

early 80’s, when he himself man-

aged three senior titles. The last of

these in 1982, was some five min-

utes slower than his all time per-

sonal best. I think this demon-

strates perfectly the toughness of

our Shropshire courses.

By now he was beginning to real-

ise that the roads were as dire as

the day he left, but knew that the

efforts he was making would stand

him in good stead for a possible

sub hour ride on one of his, and

mine come to that, all time favour-

ite courses, the K16, ahh!! Before

then, after a few days recovery it

was a trip to the Midlands and the

Redditch Road & Path CC ‘10’,

held on the K33/10. This proved to

be his best attempt at the distance,

recording a 22.58 for a plus 4.35.

Well-chuffed with this, he had

achieved what he had hoped/

dreamed of during those long hard

months of preparation. If this was-

n’t enough, he rode the following

morning’s Shirley RC ‘50’, on a

harder than anticipated course. After

a fast first ‘25’ the legs screamed as

he passed the timekeeper in 2.10.03

with a plus of 17.35 in the bag. He

had done it, 50 at 50, and consider-

ing his best ever was only 1.59 this

was, under the circumstances, one to

be proud of.

With the National ‘50’ pencilled in

for the following week there was still

a chance to improve, however after

checking out the course during the

week, it was decided that he wanted

no part of the action, due to safety

concerns. This as it turned out was a

wise move, as the day turned out to

be tough and any chance of an im-

provement was slim to none at all.

However, with all his pent up en-

ergy, he tackled the following morn-

ing’s ‘25’ on the much loved and

fondly remembered K16 with added

gusto. Run by the Midland Vets, the

day was cool with a cross wind, and

with a 6.45am start, there was no

chance of any help from the traffic.

So it was all down to fitness and how

much he wanted it, and Andrew

wanted it, to get under would help

cap this crazy return to the British

Time Trialling scene. Four weeks of

madness, and he didn’t disappoint as

he stopped the watch on 59.18. An-

other plus, this time 11.49. I think he

sent me the text with his time as he

rode back to the HQ, he was so de-

lighted.

With three standards achieved it was

just down to the Shropshire CCA

‘30’ to complete the set. Back on the

familiar Shawbirch to Tern Hill

stretch and with recently layed chip-

pings, there was no easy ride here.

On top of this, the night turned out to

be very hot and windy, with a hard

leg to the turn. Now getting back into

the groove, Andrew was learning

that a fast start is not always the an-

swer, so on this occasion he took a

slightly more controlled ride out into

Andrew Clarke Midland Vets ‘25’, K16, 59:18, 21 June 2009

the wind, and rode a strong finish, end-

ing up with a 1.14.38 for a creditable

plus of 10.42, taking the category ‘B’

prize into the bargain. Job done, all

standards set, showing the same deter-

mination he had shown all those years

ago.

With the pressure now off, there were

still two attempts at the ‘10’ and an-

other crack at the ‘25’. However the

weekend weather for the Worcester St

John’s ‘10’ was again hot and windy

and with a rolling course, the end result

was 23.44, still well up the final order

but not quite enough. The following

morning’s Rhyl RC ‘25’ was the

‘last chance saloon’ as far as improv-

ing the ‘25’ went. With a good road

surface and two and a half laps of the

St Asaph/Abergele circuit to cover,

there was genuine hope of an im-

provement. Despite his best efforts,

Andrew had to settle for a 1.00.32,

after struggling on the drags into a

rising easterly breeze. With the holi-

day almost over, it was all guns blaz-

ing in the Team Westmead 88 ‘10’

on the flat J2/1.Again the evening

turned out to be hot, sticky and

harder than expected, so finishing off

with a 23.40 was no disgrace. 29

days, 10 races, 4 standards gained.

This shows what can be achieved

with enthusiasm and desire.

The trip would not have been com-

plete without returning home with

his VTTA Standards Plaque, so a

chance was taken that there would be

no last minute improvements and I

wrote a grovelling email to John

Cook from Brunwin Engraving, ex-

plaining the circumstances. John

then pulled out all the stops and from

email to delivery to presentation,

including a weekend, only 5 days

had elapsed. Excellent service John,

thanks from us both.

At the time of writing Andrew had

just left for home, but is already in

talks with the lovely Dea for another

trip next year. His thoughts are now

on how to close the gap on the event

winners, which he has worked out is

some 3mph. To do this, his aim is to

shed even more surplus weight, pur-

chase a good pair of wheels, shod

with light tubulars and last but not

least, include some interval training,

something more technical than rac-

ing every 25 years!! Watch this

space!!

Good luck Andrew, it was great to

see you again after all those years

and catch up on old times. I look for-

ward to us getting together again

next year.

Alan presenting Andrew with Standards Plaque. Headbands rule ok!


You’re running out of time if you haven’t yet pit your skills against the Country’s “retrobates” (made-up

word…..sort of play on the trade-name “Bates” and “retro...as in old!). Only four Planet X Old Skool

events left to ride. Likely to be your very last chance to dust off and race your 1980s machine on the open

road before they’re banned by the CTT due to safety issues. Rumour has it that reports have been received

about the dodgy handling of Old Skool bikes in crosswinds due to their fat tubes and round spokes. Ride

them into the ground before its too late. Remaining events……..


Here are a few ideas to get you

started...

Is it a bird, is it a plane, no it's Super

Hutch.

Hutch trying out his new aero posi-

tion.

Hutch's pilot’s licence is in the post.

The British Army's replacement heli-

copter undergoing trials.

CONTEST RULES

By submitting an entry, you agree to

the following rules.

What can I win?

Third place will win a homeopathic

remedy called “disappointment”

which is a distillation that has been

scientifically prepared from champi-

onship winning urine collected at

source by specially trained (and

slightly weird) individuals and sub-

sequently diluted 10−60 (30C) to create

a potent draught that once imbibed

will endow any individual with the

power of its source.

Second prize winner will receive a

syringe of “Hair of the Hutch that

beat you”. This essence is derived

from a single hair (nicely curly)

found behind a toilet after the na-

tional 10 and was collected with

golden tweezers and placed into a

crystal cryogenic flask for freshness

by one of the Planet X Oompa

Loompas and taken to our Labora-

toire for essence extraction and pack-

aged in a handy single use syringe

for freshness. Use of this product

before a race will give an amazing

boost and used after a race will in-

stantly cure that post race hung over

feeling.

*Used in our Laboratoire tests, 8/10

riders stated that a prick in the arse

with this product worked for them.

First prize winner. There is no

chance of getting first place, give up

now or train hard enough to make it

worthwhile turning up next year.

Who may enter?

Anyone may enter. If you're over 80

years old and have the full written

permission of both your parents and

one grandparent.

What do I send you to enter this

contest?

Write a funny caption for the follow-

ing cartoon and send it to the email

address shown in the next section.

Include your name, address, and

phone number. Also, tell us a little

about yourself and your interest in

winning the prizes.

Each person may submit up to 5

captions. However, only one prize

will be awarded per person.

Captions will be judged by a desig-

nated professional (Ian Cammish) all

decisions are final, correspondence

may be entered into but an unintelli-

gible answer may be received.

We must receive your entry no later

than August 31st, 1809.

The next section?

What was I suppose to be writing

here? Oh I forget.

How will I know if I have won?

Winners will be notified by pigeon

post and the winning entries will ap-

pear in the next issue.

Additional rules

All prizes are non-transferable and

void where prohibited by law. No

cash substitution of prizes allowed.

Winners understand and agree that

they are responsible for any and all

taxes incurred on prizes received.

*Prizes may not even exist and no

riders were tested, but hey, what sort

of person reads the rules and the

small print.

Competition sponsored by:

Caption Competition

The Spring Collections are re-

vealed and my goodness, skinsuits

are really in! Yes, it is farewell to

the separate shorts and vest: tried,

trusted and modified over the years

but giving way now, to the sleek,

figure-hugging one-piece. The cy-

cling Fashion Houses have swung

heavily towards the single stream-

lined garment for the trackman and

time triallist and very stunning they

are too. Really ideal for that hectic

dual-carriageway dash against the

clock or dancing the spring fantas-

tic.

They come in high-shine plain

tops, imaginative contrasts or club

colours with the regulation black

bottom (oh dear, when are we going

to get ice-blue or vivid orange

nether regions?) often set off with a

lovely little manufacturer’s logo or

sponsor’s motif.

Another sweet addition to the col-

lection is the hooded version, which

extends that continuous aerodynamic

contour to the neck and head, not

forgetting those awful stick-out ears.

Incidentally, the hood makes the sin-

gle earing redundant but perhaps that

is yesterday’s fashion and a dead

weight, anyway. We hear of an out-

rageously clever idea, on the de-

signer’s sketch pad, to smooth away

noses but that must wait until 1992.

Meanwhile, remember, you read it

here first.

The roadmen are just a little tardy,

fashion wise, at the moment but they

are in skinsuits whenever possible

and will look chic either promenad-

ing in the bunch or cut and thrusting

through a criterium.

Of course, trackmen have to be up-

to-the-minute immaculate, coasting

before the crowd on top of the bank-

ing or riding that proud lap of honour

after a victory. Remember, never

wear colours which clash with the

bouquet. Now, a warning note.

There were sad tantrums last season

from one of the more butch tandem

riders when a rose laddered his

tights. So, watch for that nasty little

problem.

Early events in the colder months

will doubtless feature the ‘Total

Look’ - the all-in hooded top and

tights outfit with warm muffed feet.

You will need a liberal coating of

olive oil to slide in and out of this

absolutely swish garment, but how

rewarding it is.

Spring Collections always have

something a little wild and mad, and

this year is no exception. Guess

what? Arm warmers in somber

black relieved with gold rings at the

cuffs. Yes! Well, they had us gasp-

ing: And there is talk of matching

thick gold braid on the chests and

shoulders of racing jerseys. Jokers

do tell a recent prototype was so

tight a bottle of turps was need to get

it off.

The ladies often write to say they

should be counted among the cycling

fashion-conscious set. Of course, the

male rig-outs are uni-sex, so the girls

should feel they are included any-

way. If they want a particularly

feminine touch, how about a daz-

zling garment in club colours, worn

above or below the knee. But they

needn’t worry. For all those with

minimum discernment it is not diffi-

cult to distinguish the female.

Apart from the recognized cycling

Fashion Houses, there are now many

little one-person cottage industry

businesses, specialising in skinsuit

fabrics and very nice little numbers

they are too. Back to the weaver to

wearer tradition, in fact.

Sartorial tourists are excitingly ca-

tered for again, but less distraction

with streamlining and more emphasis

Gambling .... Skinsuits are really in

fashion this season Mick Gambling (seen right

modeling the latest in East

Anglian haute couture) con-

tributed around 5000 arti-

cles, race reports, interviews

etc for Cycling Weekly, for-

merly Cycling.

They encompassed a 40-

year period, 1965 – 2004

and half that period, to 1985,

included l ight-hearted

pieces. Many were topical

for the period, although

some are still relevant to the

present time. A taste of these

will be produced on a regu-

lar basis. Mick is still alive

and pedaling in Norfolk.


on air-conditioning. There are splen-

did jackets in poplin and gabardine to

be worn under super yellow capes for

pedaling around England in high sum-

mer, but the leggy look is in for you

CTC and YHA folk. Daring shorts in

fully lined double-seat corduroy, wide

in the leg to admit the breeze and with

flared hem one inch above the knee!

Will your Mum let you out in them?

To complete the ensemble, there are

wicked little calf-length socks in off-

beat multi-coloured wool that will sur-

prise Scunthorpe and captivate Coven-

try. Ideal, too, for a romantic stroll

before lights out.

Yes, the Spring Fashions have been

well and truly sprung and already the

Houses, to whom we owe so much, are

busy designing their Autumn Collec-

tions. Personally we can hardly wait.


AUGUST’S BIKE OF THE MONTH is Ralph Dadswell’s state of the art Roberts. They

say “what goes around comes around” so it won’t be long before we’re all tootling up and

down dual carriageways on bikes just like this. Photo courtesy Andy Sexton Enterprises.

Dave Lloyd (right) -

one of the first (if not

THE first) riders in the

UK to wear a skinsuit.

The integral skinhood

is still to catch on.

Photo from Bernard

Thompson’s Cycling

Archive..


We’ve had “Where’s Web-

ster?” and we’ve managed

to track down Martin

Pyne but the search goes on

for more “blasts from the

past”. Steve Kish dons his

dear-stalker and picks up his

pipe to find out what’s hap-

pened to….decent bike

shops.

In this day of super-retailers such as

Evans and Halfords Bikehut, I’m

tending to miss some ‘old skool’

shops, mostly long gone but not for-

gotten and have just listed a few that

spring to mind, in no particular order

and in the hope that Testing Times

readers who frequent the F, G and H-

courses may have memories of them

as fond as mine:-

Dave Russell, Slough – My first

visit there circa 1984 when it was in

Chalvey.

Despite promising myself to get

Dave to build me one of his legen-

dary close-clearance Roger Queen-

type frames, I never actually got

around to this …. shame on

me! However, I did the next best

thing and slapped a few of his trans-

fers on my Emperor Sport frame af-

ter he re-sprayed it for me.

Dave eventually gave up the shop

before briefly trading from home

prior to taking over Peter Hare’s

shop in Twyford for a while.

Sadly Dave passed away about a

year ago. The Twyford shop is no

longer there.

Stuart Bikes, Acton – A great ‘hang

out but never buy anything’ shop run

by the gently spoken and mega-

tolerant Dave Stuart-Clark. Al-

though more of an all-round bike

shop (I bought my younger daughter

her first bike there, even before she

could walk!), this was the home of

the best wheel builder that I ever

knew, Les Harre-Young from the

Bath Road Club.

Sadly the shop was closed in about

1995, as it lost a lot of passing trade

when British Rail did major works

on Acton Main Line station and

closed the through-road that passed

the shop.

Don Farrell Cycles, Burnt Oak – A

very flash shop-front that sold skiing

stuff as well as very up-market cy-

cling gear.

Bought my first Cinelli M71 pedals

here from the bloke who ran it. I

can’t remember his name but it

was something cool and bikestar-

ish like ‘Fillipe’ or ‘Fabrizzio’,

with extra coolness added by the

fact that he wore a cycling cap and

sunglasses nearly all the time.

I remember getting there once just

before the shop opened only to see

him arrive on his ‘Campag-

everything’ bike … I was green

with envy for about a week!

J D Whiskers, Kilburn – Now,

this one is still going, now situated

in Welwyn Garden City.

The Kilburn shop was slightly out

of place in a small parade contain-

ing West Indian grocers, hairdress-

ers and newsagents. I bought my

first and only brand-new frame

there, a Frejus track iron in about

1965. Looked great but rode like a

five-bar gate.

Run for years by Alan Ephgrave of

the Welwyn Wheelers, now retired

and Audaxing away merrily with

huge mileage.

J D Whiskers, Goffs Oak – When

the Kilburn shop closed, business

was transferred to here, so no

quickly nipping up in the lunch-

break from when I worked in Cam-

den Town.

Closed earlier this year but now

the whole Whisker empire trades

from Welwyn Garden City with

David and Andrew Whisker run-

ning the show and Steve Ephgrave

(Alan’s son) doing sterling work

with the trade counter ….. my fa-

vourite non-eBay bike shop at pre-

sent.

Where are they now…..decent

bike shops?


Jim Bird Cycles, Colindale – Literally half a mile away

from Don Farrell’s, both on the old A5 Watling Street.

Run by Jim himself, who had a unique ability to find any-

thing that you wanted in one of countless unmarked

drawers on his back wall. It’s quite probable that this

shop was the inspiration for the classic ‘Two Ronnie’s’

sketch about ‘fork handles / four candles’.

Dauphin Sport, Box Hill – Good one for the roadmen,

as you couldn’t ride there without going up a monster hill

– pretty sure that the grocer’s shop next door made a for-

tune on Lucozade Sport sold to cyclists for this very rea-

son.

Run by ex-pro Tony ‘I know Eddy Merckx quite well’

Mills and his helpful son Tim, who always insisted on

calling my wife Mrs Kish and her friend Jane as Mrs

Cottington.

Now still trading as Cycles Dauphin with bigger premises

but for me, certainly lacking the atmosphere of the old

place.

Sadly, in this age and since the ‘new technological

dawn’, I tend to buy most of my stuff from eBay but with

some stuff from Whiskers, mostly by mail order.

However, despite the ease of this, I’d gladly go back to

the times where you’d go to your local bike shop, catch

up with all the gossip and scandal, drink four cups of tea,

drool at (or even fondle, if favoured) the latest Campag

exotica, buy two rolls of handlebar tape and find that

you’d spent the whole day doing this.

Now, what’s that Mary Hopkins song?

(…. with apologies to any that I’ve forgotten!)

Anyone remember “Reeds” of Wimbledon?

Ed

Best to shop on-line!!!

TESTING TIMES

NOW IN COLOUR!

Just to prove we’ve not been

mothballed and aren’t all mono-

chrome ...eyes left. Nice eh?

(Ed’s got some on his bike).

Superlight and super price. Go

here

http://www.planet-x-

warehouse.co.uk/acatalog/

Online_Catalogue_Road_Calip

ers_338.html


“Pusher-offers these days

don’t know what they’re

missing” says Ian Cammish

(Planet X). “It’s as clear as

black and white that in my

day we smelt so much better

than the current crop. I

mean….. we had the likes of

Brut 33, High Karate and

Lavender Water. All the top

stars used to wear the stuff

….(well ok... maybe not the Laven-

der Water but my Great Gran

thought it smelt nice).

“Henry Cooper, Kevin Keegan,

Barry Sheene, Del Trotter, Hong

Kong Phooey and my big brother

who thought about joining the Army

and could have beat your brother up

any day of the week all swore by it.

“ When I turned up at races you

should have seen the crowds that

turned up to sample for themselves

the ‘Essence of Man’. I lost count of

the number of sighs and shaking

heads that greeted me at race Head-

quarters. Times have changed...no

doubt!

“There are certainly some smelly

buggers about these days and I put

that all down to that David Peckham

and his Mrs from Girls Aloud. They

should concentrate on their football

and karaoke rather than selling their

smellies in dodgy glossy magazines.

I’ve got no time for them!

‘Intimately Peckham’...what’s all

that about eh? No way Pedro…”

WHO’S HOT THIS MONTH

IN THE WORLD OF

DOMESTIC TIME TRIAL-

LING:

Bradley Wiggins: No doubt

whatsoever. Before the Tour

started, 99% of us scoffed and

ridiculed the suggestion that GB

may have a Tour winner within 5

years. Brad proved it’s possible.

Brad….if you need a CTT

approved wheel for your next

domestic event, let me know and

I’m sure we can sort you one out

at a good price! ;-)

Ian Franklin - for being Ian

Franklin. (Ta matey!).

Robert Garbut for spicing up the

comic a bit. (Be interesting to see

what going to be offer now the

Tour’s finished. The BBAR is

just getting going you know!).

Justin Lomas for his scintillating

25 minute ride round the Abbot-

sley circuit the other week.

PNut for his 30 mph ‘10’...at last!

..and STILL red hot….

Top 5 smelly Testers -

No 4 - Ian Cammish

The Good Old Days when crowds used to turn up to sample

the “Essence of Man”.

Photo courtesy Steve ‘Big Boy’ Williams

WANTED: Calendar girls….

(and boys)

HOW TO APPLY:

Interested (male) parties to submit CV’s (which must include vital sta-

tistics and any relevant claims to fame - who you’ve knocked off ....for

example) to Sarah http://www.sarahbrookephotography.co.uk/

Any of the fairer sex interested in some free cycle clips, a beanie hat

and possible global fame should submit photos (in the first instance) to

the Ed…..you know where to get hold of me (please!!). ;-)

“Auditions” are likely to be held in the Editor’s spare bedroom on a

Wednesday evening (when Mrs Editor goes to aerobics) or in his pot-

ting shed (entrance by the back passage with prior appointment) at any

other time.

As long as it’s not December (cos it’s

VERY cold then and I’ve got my

reputation to think about) I’ll be up

for it!!...Ed!

What it’s all about!

You’ve heard about Calender Girls….surely?

Well a group from theTT Forum are doing

something similar…..honest!....all for the sake

of charity. They’re on the look out for volun-

teers - male or female will do (that narrows it

down a bit doesn’t it?) but you’ll need to be

broad minded and have a sense of humour. If

you don’t think you size up, don’t worry, you

can still take part by purchasing a copy of the

completed “collectable” some time before 1

January 2010. Keep your eyes peeled! Eyes

left for your starters!

Be there...be

square!


Carole Gandy has been

racing for well over a

quarter of a century and over

the years has won National

medals in various colours

but finally broke the curse of

always being the bridesmaid

with a stunning 2004 season

winning both the Women’s

National 100 mile

Championship and the

Ladies BBAR. Sue Fenwick

caught up with Carole to find

out more about the calibre of

this extraordinary lady.

S: How did it feel to win the BAR

after more than 25 years of trying

to get there?

C: I had been quite successful over

the years winning 4 bronze medals, 4

silver medals in the BBAR as well as

winning medals of various colours in

the Ladies National Champion-

ships. As I said at the BAR Awards

dinner, Beryl won it for 25 years and

it took me 25 years to win it! I was

absolutely amazed. To quote “Even

a shrimp can be great when there are

no other fish in the sea”. Some peo-

ple said I only won because there

was nobody much else racing that

year but everyone had a chance to

win but if they don’t race, then they

can’t win.

S: Well you’re certainly no

shrimp. You won that fair and

square on your own merits. And

the world is full of people wanting

to diss those who are at the top.

Your 2005 season was also very

good: 3rd in the 50 and 2nd in the

100, with personal bests of 22.09

and 55.30.

It’s well-documented that your suc-

cess has come after becoming a pupil

of coach Dave Lloyd. How did you

get to work with Dave? C: My husband John is a trainee cycle

coach and over the years he has always

advised me. We agreed that we had

gone as far as we could coaching-wise

so we decided to approach Dave in

December 2003.

S: Dave is known as a hard task-

master. Is that true?

C: He is a very hard taskmaster.

I’ve seen some of the negative

comments on internet forums

about his training methods being

too hard but I ask you, if you take

an Olympiad or any serious athlete


Carole Gandy Words by Sue(choccy) Fenwick

Photos by David Jones

Socks by Damart

who really wants to get somewhere,

they’ve got to train, they’ve got to be

focussed and it’s going to be very

hard. Some under his wing found it

difficult to always do what Dave pre-

scribes. If on one day you just have to

pedal in a small gear in a particular

zone which meant that other cyclists

overtook them, this is when they asked

the question was Dave the right coach

for them.

My only complaint with Dave is he

sometimes forgets how old I am – 65 –

and how much more time I need to

recover especially over the longer dis-

tances. But training’s got to be hard

otherwise when you’re racing, you

won’t go fast. Dave has shown a lot of

people how to do it – Wendy Houvana-

gel was one of his first pupils and look

at her now, how she’s gone on to de-

velop.

S: Apart from time trialling success

in recent years, you’ve also turned

your hand to two 2nd places in the

World Masters Road and Time Trial

Championships in Austria in 2004

and 2005, and you won the National

Masters 2000m pursuit in 2005.

What made you branch out? C: Both John and I enjoy cycling for

pleasure joining up with friends for

cycling holidays and also enjoying our

campervan taking our bikes along with

us and exploring different places of

interest. It was Dave who thought that

the National Master’s Track Champi-

onships and the World Master Time

Trial in Austria would be good for

me. Whilst I was successful at the

Track Championships I only came sec-

ond at the World Master age related

Time Trial. I was so disappointed at

coming second that Gill Henshaw sug-

gested I should enter the World Master

Road Race and John chipped in saying

that I can be quite an aggressive rider

which I did. I also came second but

this gave me a great deal more pleasure

than coming second in the time trial

considering road racing is not my forte.

S: Not many people know that you

also went for the women’s hour

record too. Although you missed

the national record, you estab-

lished a new age record at 63 years

of age on Newport Velodrome on 5

November 2007 with 24.23mph.

How on earth do you sit on a bike

for an hour going round and

round a track and keep focus? C: It was very hard, in fact it was

awful. I developed cramp after half

an hour but we’d spent so much

money and so much preparation on

the record attempt together that I just

had to keep going even though it was

hurting so much. I was so disap-

pointed not to break 25mph but at

least I set an age record. No female

aged 63 had gone for the Hour record

before.

S: You’ve just ridden the NMHCA

100 on a rather wet, windy day.

How was it?

C: The weather was one of the worst

conditions I have had to cycle in. It

was absolutely awful as was my time

– 4 hrs 34 mins 07 secs, so I’ll

probably will have to ride another

one.

S: In your 30–odd years in the

sport, you’ve seen a lot of equip-

ment fads. Which are the most im-

portant for time trialling? C: Tribars absolutely. Then I’d rank

the rest as first disc wheels, then car-

bon fibre frames, having more gears,

helmets and having wind–tested hel-

mets.

S: What’s with the knee-length

socks you wear?

C: A guy in Kent, Kevin Tye, got

me onto these. Marathon runner

Paula Radcliffe uses them to help

stop cramps by helping blood flow

through the limbs. They’re just

compression socks.

S: Women’s health issues aren’t

discussed much in cycling. Hav-

ing raced pre and post-

menopausal, what changes do

you notice? C: Pre-the menopause I would feel

I could break competition record

the day before a period started and

at the other extreme feel rubbish

for 2-3 days after it finished. Now

I’m through the menopause I can’t

say it’s affected my times at all as

they’re as fast as they’ve ever

been. I don’t feel there are highs

and lows anymore.

S: You were in San Fairy Ann

CC for many years, tell us about

your new team?

C: Kent Cycles is a fairly new set-

up, run by two chaps who own the

bike shop and I’m the only woman,

which is fine for time trialling.

S: Do you do cross training? C: Yes, I believe gym work is ex-

tremely important and not just

through winter. I do gym work

twice a week in winter and weekly

the rest of the year. Too many cy-

clists believe they just need strong

legs. Start your gym session with

the Concept rowing machine for a

thorough warm-up, then switch to

free weights or the weight ma-

chines, whichever you’re happiest

with. If you need direction, ask the

gym instructors to give you a pro-

gram.

And stretching is so important too.

Women tend to be more flexible

than men but even we need to

stretch. I know I don’t do enough!


...you're asking a lot of

questions Sue. If you’re not

careful this piece will end up

far too long for the

Ed...might even make four

pages. He won’t

like that!....

S: What sport would you do if you

didn’t time trial?

C: Squash. I was a serious squash

player, and I’ve done rowing and

hockey too. Squash is as anti-social

as timetrialling – squash matches

start at 8pm, five matches, stop for

some food, it’s 2-3am before you’re

driving home with work the next

day. After my first husband, also

named John, died, I begun to concen-

trate more on cycling. The two

sports are incompatible. They just

don’t mix because you use the mus-

cles in different ways so I gave up

squash. I may have time one day to

play golf?

S: At this time of year there is al-

ways pre-AGM discussion on

timetrialling’s future. What are

your thoughts on this? C: You remember the E72 in the

early 1980s was a race of two halves,

6.30-7.30 traffic-free and slow, 7.30-

8.30 traffic-assisted and fast. Chas-

ing fast dual carriageway courses is

expensive, can be dangerous and is

not open to everyone. I’m in Kent.

My nearest fast courses are Cam-


bridge or Yorkshire, which means

petrol, food, overnight accommo-

dation. It makes the sport elit-

ist. Even if you do travel, these

courses are only fast on certain

days so you can end up chasing

around all summer, get each one

on a goddamn awful day, then you

think “I’ve had enough of that” so

you miss the next one and that’s

the float event.

We’ll lose more dual carriageway

courses in the near future. The E2

can’t have long to go. Mixing cy-

clists and heavy traffic on dual car-

riageways isn’t the answer. Many

races are run on single carriageway

roads that can create even more

problems when traffic bunches up

behind a rider and no cars can

overtake because of the oncoming

vehicles. I think we have all been

in events like this. We have to

accept that we have got to live with

the motorist and their cars and they

are bigger and meaner than we are.

I wonder if you could rate the

courses as you do golf courses, by

par, in order that people who ride

on slower courses aren’t penalised

and stand as much chance of win-

ning a competition as those who

have easy access to fast courses?

S: Another thing I notice is most

riders are vets, even in the Na-

tional 25, just one junior girl en-

trant. Asking you as a mother,

how can we make the sport more

attractive to youngsters? C: Ask any parent “do you want

your 14/15 year old cycling on a

dual carriageway?” and the an-

swer’s going to be no. Sportives

are taking off and it’s strange to

me that you can have 3000 cyclists

all over the road all day long and

yet there are great restrictions re-

garding the running of a time trial.

Unfortunately the sport appears to

be run by a large proportion of vet-

erans because the younger cyclists

are generally only interested in

cycling rather than helping to put

something back in to the sport. This may be because

they feel intimidated by the vast experience that has

been accumulated by those who run the sport and they

are hesitant to put their views forward. Many com-

ments are made regarding decisions made, but young

cyclists have to come forward to continue the

sport. Most timekeepers are 55+ as are marshals and

event organisers. Road racing is probably not as bad

but even there some officials are in to there 60s and

70s. Even I at 65 can see that if you want the sport to

continue then you’ve got to examine it and make it bet-

ter. The younger fraternity must come forward with

new ideas and those who run the sport must embrace

these.

To me it still seems that time trialling is a secret soci-

ety, out for a 5am/6am start and back before breakfast.

Just needs the black alpaca to be brought back!

S: Do you remember the first time you ever got un-

der the hour?

C: A late-season 25 on the E72 the day after a Saturday

track training session at Herne Hill. I did a 59.

S: What were your aims at the start of 2009?

C: To ride the National 100 which I didn’t and go to the

Worlds which I can’t, so I’ve readjusted to aiming for a

reasonable finish in the BAR. My times so far are 56.30,

2.02.07 and 4.33.17. I’d like to improve the 100 and there

are some reasonable 50s left. The BBAR is really a lot-

tery but then it always has been so – back in the late

1970s/early 80s, the Yorkshire courses were the fastest,

nothing else compared except perhaps the E72.

S: Who’s your cycling heroes?

C: Men it has to be Eddy Merckx. Women, it’s Beryl

Burton. She was always pleasant and ready to pass on

information to me. She did all her fantastic rides with

standard equipment, nothing fancy, even holding the

men’s 12–hour record above the men’s results. She was

phenomenal.

S: Well I reckon Carole’s pretty phenomenal too, es-

pecially for a 65 year old. I’ll let her coach have the

last word, taken from his website: “Carole is truly

amazing … she wants it still … and she proves it week

after week after week.”


Ian Cammish’s 3-31-53 “100” must rate as

one of the best time trials of all time. I

certainly can’t see any of today’s stars

getting anywhere near that without

all their aero gizmos.

WHO’S NOT HOT THIS MONTH IN THE

WORLD OF DOMESTIC TIME TRIAL-

LING:

Hutch - who hasn’t won a single National Champi-

onship for at least a fortnight.

The Company that said they’d let us play in their

wind-tunnel and appear to have changed their minds.

All those that have promised something for Testing

Times and have still got to deliver (you know who

you are!).

The provider of decent days for fast time trialling -

we’re still waiting! Seems like last season we were

spoiled.

All those dick-heads seen driving up and down the

A1 early on Sunday mornings on their mobiles show-

ing total disregard to other road users. (Does that pith

anyone else off?)

If neither Campag or Shimano floats your boat and SRAM’s

your thing (for bling)…..have a look here http://www.planet-x-warehouse.co.uk/?p=5346

I always thought cyclists had good appetites but

Chinese tourists in France take the biscuit (or should I

say baguette?). During a recent dirty weekend visit to

Paris with the Mrs I was fortunate enough to witness a

monumental miracle of gastronomic expertise one

morning as we set down for breakfast. At either end of

the restaurant were two groups of Chinese tourists.

Rather than involve themselves in discreet conversa-

tions amongst their respective groups one pair were

heavily involved in a heated conversation across the

restaurant….completely oblivious of the other less

animated (and therefore most probably British!) din-

ers.

Not being able to understand what they were saying was

one thing (just being inquisitive...that’s all) but being

drowned in showers of croissants and baguettes as they

tried to multi-task (eating and talking) was another!

What I found most remarkable was the amount of food

one of the good ladies was managing to ram in her mouth

while continuing to talk. A quick glance over my shoulder

(in typical British fashion of course!) and I was flabber-

gasted to see she’d managed to ease a whole one of those

little French breakfast rolls into her mouth...sideways…

mid-sentence ... without pause! If I hadn’t seen it for my-

self I wouldn’t have believed it.

Rewind some 20 years or so….

...respected cycling journalist and photographer Bernard

Thompson once said he’d witnessed me eating a sponge

during one of my 12 hour epics.

Unfortunately, photographic evidence is not readily avail-

able to verify the genuineness of either the size of the Chi-

nese tourist’s mouth or my claim to have found something

only marginally more palatable than SIS blackcurrant fla-

voured gels (did I ever tell you how nice PowerBar’s va-

nilla ones are? One of Cammish’s top 5 Innovations - see

January’s issue of Testing Times. Yummy!).

However, friend and colleague Sarah Brooke

(photographer extraordinaire) recently sent me Planet X’s

“starter for ten” in another Competition For All-Comers

With No Prizes (we’re good at them!) - “How much can

you ram in yer gob in one go?”

First up….Dave Kendall (Finsbury Park CC) seen

(above) sucking what is believed to be a Marks and

Sparks “serves six sausage roll”. Word has it that John

“Nugget” Golder was seen passing the same vantage

point trying to down a Cucumber Bloomer in one go

(sideways)...unfortunately Sarah was unable to change

to a wide-angle lens in time to capture the moment. If

anyone has anything that they think beats Kendall’s (or

“Nugget’s claimed) exploits, of course, we’d like to hear

about it.

[email protected]


This month’s special challenge….

how many sausage rolls / baguettes / (name

your favourite food here) can you ram in yer

gob in one go? asks Ian Cammish


As I sit here and look around me, at

all these strange people that

surround me, I realise that I am -

NOT DREAMING!! (with apolo-

gies to Tom, another great Welsh-

man).

What’s going on? I find my-

self sitting on a 1980’s TT bike, at

the bottom of a slip-road leading to a

dual-carriageway, being held up by

man I don’t know and with a time-

keeper intoning “20 seconds to

go”! I thought I’d finished with all

this over 20 years ago!

“10 seconds” he says.

“5, 4, 3, 2, 1, GO” he says.

And with the faintest acknowledge-

ment of a push (and no rocking on

the countdown) I launch (!) myself

up the road and into 25 miles of

unknown (or rather forgotten) terri-

tory.

The blame can laid squarely a Moun-

tain Bike Ride. This isn’t the normal

thing for a Tester to admit to but it’s

the truth. Since the mid 90’s I’d

hardly ridden a bike but last year

I found Retrobike.co.uk and discov-

ered that the festering old bikes I had

in the shed were actually desirable

classics and I could ride them with-

out shame whilst in the company of

like minded consenting adults. As

there was a Retrobike ride organised

in September in the Peak district I

thought it might be a laugh (!) to go

along so I cleaned up my old Scott

T eam P ro and wen t . A l l

I remember is that the ride was all

uphill. I know that is a physical im-

possibility (what goes up must come

down etc. etc.) but my state of total

unfitness, it was true. After 15 miles

of hills, mud, hills, bumps, hills,

rocks and more hills (taking over 3

hours) I arrived at Edale café com-

pletely knackered and, after a bite to

eat, apologised and took the

road route back to Hope while the

rest went off for a further 3 hours

o f s e l f - a b u s e i n

the hills. I drove home and slept

for 3 days.

I was totally embarrassed by my

utter unfitness and became deter-

mined to get fitter for the next

Retrobike meet in January. I dug

m y o l d w i n t e r b i k e

(another Retrobike classic!) from

the back of the shed, cleaned and

lubed it and started a gentle pro-

gramme of short road rides to get

myself back to some sort of

‘form’. October and November

passed and I happily discovered I

was starting to feel fitter with a not

undesirable side effect – the cloth-

ing that in September would not

fit, now would, albeit with an

amount of stretch. This was pro-

gress. Improvement continued,

hills became easier, more old jer-

seys fitted, the scales didn’t groan

so much in the mornings and by

early December I felt a lot more

confident in my abilities.

I then made another discovery -

Retrobike.co.uk is affiliated to

both BC and CTT. I had never

even vaguely consider racing again

but then, on the CTT website that I

occasionally visited, I saw there

was a ‘Christmas 10’ on the list not

to far away. My thoughts began to

wander – could I ride 10 miles

non-stop on an old classic

bike? would I thoroughly embar-

rass myself again? “What the

heck” I thought, “ I’ve nothing to

prove, why not, it’s Christmas after

all, nobody will take it seriously,

it’ll be a laugh.” It was around this

time that our esteemed Editor an-

nounced the Planet X Old Skool

series. This was the catalyst that

w a s n e e d e d . No r e a -

son be embarrassed by an old bike

Why (am I doing this) !? Why indeed? A very good

question...and one which for-

mer superstar time trialist

Paul Gittins (PMP / Blue-

mels / Benelux / Chater Lea /

Lion GT 30 / Fiamme) asked

himself. Planet X’s Old

Skool Series prompted Paul

in to making a “comeback”.

He tells us here how he

eased himself back in to top

flight competition.

1968 Champs ‘50’ on the Bath

Road, turning into Pangbourne

Lane. 2-0-46

– I could legitimately ‘Old Skool’

it and be fashionable.

So I sent an entry again secretly

hoping there’d be a full field and I

wouldn’t get in – but I did.

So I rode it, over 20 years after I’d

sworn I would never do it again.

On the day it poured down, over

half the field didn’t start. 20 years

ago I would have joined them but

this was now, so I did – and fin-

ished with the slowest time of the

day on my 35 year old bike.

But I claimed a moral victory over

those who didn’t – and, much to my

amazement, I thoroughly enjoyed it

and had set myself a yardstick for if

I decided to ‘have a go’ next year,

thinking that it was a ‘one-off’ and

wouldn’t be repeated.

Looking up the road, legs and lungs

burning, already been caught by my

minute man after less than 3 miles.

Where’s the turn?? It must be

soon! 25’s were never this long

when I was a lad, were they??

Ah, a marshal in a hi-vi vest, here it

is, 35 minutes, not to bad for a first

25 on a hard day.

Back onto the DC, wind in my

face, now on my right side, now on

my left side. Why isn’t it on my

back!!?? It was like this going the

other way!!

Almighty rumble in right ear,

caught for 11 minutes by someone

with a pointy helmet and disk

wheel, never see me with anything

like that! A pair of Record 28’s and

GP 4’s is all you need.

Through January and February the

rides continued – even on wet and

windy days. Being retired meant I

could get out when I wanted, a lot

better than before when I was stuck

with ‘after work’. I bought myself a

Turbo Trainer – for the very wet

and windy days. Weight kept com-

ing off, nearly 2 stone gone now –

and the CTT website published the

2009 calendar. In an idle moment,

looking up ‘10’s Yorkshire’ I found

a few and thought – ‘I’m fitter now

than at Christmas, perhaps I could

beat my time. Oh look, there’s one

at the end of February.’

So I sent an entry, secretly hoping

there’d be a full field and I wouldn’t

get in – but I did.



On the day it was a bit windy – but

not wet – and I beat my Christmas

time by 2 minutes – and thoroughly

enjoyed it, riding my 35 year old

bike again. And I wasn’t slowest

this time.

Several local 10’s have followed

with s teady improvements ,

now 6 minutes faster than my

Christmas 10 and no pointy helmet

or disk wheels.

So I thought I’d ‘have a go’ at a 25

(which is 2 ½ times further than a

10, non-stop for over an hour) and

found one in July.

So I sent an entry, secretly hoping

there’d be a full field and I wouldn’t

get in – but I did.



Oh my God, look at the time, over

an hour gone. 25 years ago I’d

have finished by now. I’m begin-

ning to regret doing this!

Another loud rumble in my right

ear, someone else with pointy hel-

met and disk wheel, disappearing

up the road. At least I’ve got an

excuse – sorry a REASON – ‘cos

I’m riding Old Skool.

That road sign looks familiar,

there’s a marshall, he’s pointing to

the left, must be the finish!

There’s the chequered flag. Look

at the watch, big sprint, must get

into single figures, inside a 1-10!

Done it!! A 1-9-38. Not the slow-

est ride I’ve ever done – but not far

off. Musn’t grumble, at least I’ve

finished. Bet I could beat that on

a better day, when’s the next one?

So here I am, at the time of writing

with a ‘10’ time just a minute short

of my lifetime PB and a ’25’ time

a massive 12:30 outside my life-

time PB. So what!? It’s like start-

ing from scratch all over

again. I’ll never be able to repeat

what I achieved half a lifetime ago

so I can approach it all from a

completely different perspective,

do it Old Skool when I want and,

above all – enjoy it!

Mind you, those pointy helmets

and disk wheels etc. do seem to

work. I could beat some people

easily 25 years ago, now they’re

beating me – with all their ‘triple

action muscle booster you can’t

bend it’ aero gizmos.. Where’s

that next jumble, perhaps someone

will be selling up their old TT gear

…………………….

(Pop round to Cammish’s gaff

Paul - he doesn’t throw anything

away. Sure he’ll be able to help

you out!).



CLASSIC BLASTS FROM THE PAST……..

Cold, wet and exhausted on his unsuccessful End-to-End attempt in 1954, Joy gets a shout from Eileen

Sheridan.

Ken Joy was the great post-war time trial champion, the first rider since Frank Southall to take four suc-

cessive BAR titles, from 1949 to 1952. He then broke many of the RRA records that Southall had set.

This picture is just one of a much larger group that will be published later this year in a joint collection

called “Southall and Joy: Two Cycling Legends”. Peter Whitfield has a hand in it so it promises to be

good! Watch out for it.

Thanks to the Norwood Paragon archive and Alan Bristow.


That wonderfully exotic luxurious

feel of shiny PVC/Latex which,

when worn, shows off every single

area of your figure, can now be ex-

perienced by cyclists everywhere.

This stuff loves to be worn tight and

figure hugging. It also attracts atten-

tion to the wearer when striding into

a room, walking down a street or

popping into the bedroom. It makes

people’s heads turn as they spy

bulges growing in certain areas of

the human body – yes, this material

takes on a dominating role. PVC/

Latex can now be seen in many

sports such as bobsleigh, luge, speed

skating, speed skiing, swimming,

water skiing, water sports (wink) and

our own cycling track events.

Even us Testers are in on the act

with a PVC/Spandex mix suits which

can be used for that short TT as these

things get really hot under physical

or anaerobic workouts which can

include the nocturnal activity type

when your partner is fully kitted out

in PVC The stuff slides through the

air, can be polished to a shimmer and

feels beautiful when worn next to the

skin.

Technical Engineering Data –

Trial Tests Scientists & Technical Engineers

have burned midnight oil & worked

excessively long hours over the vari-

ous formulas and algebraic calcula-

tions on the co-efficient drag factors

of this super material, even when

sprayed with silicone, to prove it is

the material to be worn for that fast 10-mile time trial. During trials in

the late 90’s it was seen that this ma-

terial achieved times of less than 17

minutes in wind tunnel conditions

with a temperature of 21.75 degs &

rich oxygenated air to ensure the

proper breathing requirements of the

garment for optimum performance.

Three different colours were also

chosen to see if this had an effect on

the the airflow. Other ambient tem-

perature tests were taken along with

air pressures to simulate normal road

conditions. The technical results

found that black came out on top as

the temperature, even at a consistent

21 degrees, made the suit cling

tighter to the body. This ensured an

all-over constricting fit. White fared

badly due to the manmade dye char-

acteristics relaxing the elasticity of

the fibratic fibres of the material

hence slower times by some 2-3 sec-

onds were recorded over the 10 mile

test. Red was also used & although

better than white also had fibre elas-

ticity problems and was a close sec-

ond, records show it was exactly

0.925 seconds slower that the natural

black.

10 Mile Wind Tunnel Test

M S 1/100th

Black Shiny PVC/Latex Suit

16. 54. 210

Red Shiny PVC/Latex Suit

16. 55. 135

White Shiny PVC/Latex Suit

16. 57. 744

Make up of the suit includes seam-

less sections carefully bonded to-

gether with a special epoxy resin. It

completely covers the human body,

except the face; a top elite cyclist

was chosen for these trials to ensure

good times were achieved & one

who liked wearing this material next

to the skin to ensure total relaxation

& focus on the times that were

achieved.

Feedback on the garment used by

the subject were that second skin

feeling, along with a cool dominating

feel as one glared around the tunnel

before & after the test. The reproduc-

ing apparatus was unharmed unlike

with normal Lycra suits/shorts with

chamois where you get that numbing

effect & your weapon seems so small

after a long ride or race. The sub-

ject’s wife was in awe of the suit &

her husband, whose third leg was

standing proud and ready for action.

This is an added bonus to the sport-

ing effectiveness of the suit and it is

expected that many future time trial-

lists will be forking out lost of well-

earned money to get their hands on

these suits when they are released on

Nob Off….the back.

The black shiny stuff … can win

Championships!

Ok so it’s red….but you get

the drift?


the market.

A PVC/Latex dimpled suit was also

being worked on whilst the trials

were on-going but no data was avail-

a b l e t o hand du r ing t h i s

time However similar to the golf

ball or the dimples on the new Zipp

wheel sets, this may be the way to

go.

So time trialing athletes seeking the

best in PVC/Latex wear need to go

with the colour black to ensure they

gain the best advantage they can as

this can be the difference between a

medal & missing out. It will also

help performance on another level

with the girlfriend or the spouse dur-

ing the long nocturnal evenings of an

English Winter.

For the Connoisseurs amongst you

this stuff can be seen lurking in its

many scintillating guises at http://

www.timetriallingforum.co.uk/ then

go to the Non-Cycling Section &

look for Cadbury Dairy Milk advert

and PVC appreciation thread. So

whether you’re a hobbyist or a con-

noisseur there is something there for

all.

Caring for your prized PVC attire

Hand wash in warm water with a

small amount of detergent (use liquid

rather than soap flakes, as they can

stick to the PVC). Wash inside &

outside of the garment. Rinse thor-

oughly in cool water until all soap

has been removed. Hang to drip-dry

inside out. When the inside is dry,

turn right way round & allow PVC

side to dry.

Shining - this bit will really set the

g a r m e n t a l i v e .

Polish with silicone spray, or for a

squeaky-free wear you can wipe

down the outer surface of your PVC

clothes with a light layer of silicone-

based lube. This can save those pre-

cious 1/100ths or prolong activity in

the bedroom.

Good Hunting & this wonderfully con-

ceived material can win you a champi-

onship or your hearts desire what ever

goal it is you set for yourself.

Sir Nob of Two Ghiblis

Treat your black shiny stuff

with care. (Excuse the blur …

photographer got camera

shake!)

NEXT ISSUE: (if the

mood takes us!):

Time Trialling’s top three smelliest

Testers

Peter Whitfield tracks down another

time trial Legend

More Gambling

Frankly Franklin (if he can be both-

ered)

Suechoccy and her lady friends

That nice Mr Kish

The Old Skool Series continues with:

Seamons 25

Team Sanjan 10

Unsung heroes (but only if you let us

know who they are)

How much can you ram in yer gob?

(That’s YOU...or someone you know

ok? Pics please to……)

Competitions

This

That

The other (nothing like a bit of the

other eh?)

Gossip...and if we don’t hear any

we’ll make it up

Who’s Hot…..and Who’s Not

Special guest appearances of

contributors staking their claim to

fifteen minutes of fame

Bit of pith-taking (maybe)

Now Nob Off

Documents

The Testing Times - August 2009